Killed Her Personally
by adoeinthemeadowes
Summary: "That's Dorcas Meadowes...Voldemort killed her personally" Dorcas 'Doe' Meadowes didn't intend to have a screaming match with Sirius Black in the Great Hall, or watch Lily and James fall in love, and she definitely didn't intend to face Voldemort alone. From Hogwarts to Death, follow Doe's story through the first Wizarding War. CANON DM/SB JP/LE Dorius Marauders Era
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE; THIS STORY MAY SHARE SIMILARITIES WITH PREVIOUS STORY OF MINE 'A DOE IN THE MEADOWES' BUT WITH A REMARKABLY DIFFERENT PLOT, AND FRANKLY BETTER WRITING. I WROTE THE PERVIOUS ONE YEARS AGO AND HAVE REFLECTED AND THOUGHT THAT ALL OF THE CHARACTERS MIGHT HAVE DONE THINGS ITTLE DIFFERENTLY AS WELL AS MAKING IT CANON, SO PLEASE ENJOY**

1

The Orphanage

The door to 52 Nottingham Lane was open and drenching the drab, front hallway with crisp, fall air. It was particularly chilly this September 1st, colder than any other year I could remember at the orphanage to date, maybe that was why I was receiving such cold treatment from every inhabitant inside it's dreary walls. I wrapped my sweater tighter around me as the robust and stern, Ms. Churchmire surveyed me carefully. She was eyeing me with a strange look from her worn, wooden desk, as though suddenly after having done so for _four_ years, she could hardly believe I'd still be heading off to school again. She raised one thin, arched eyebrow watching me and then turned back to my dismissal form. The look was not a new one. I often got it from the muggles that resided in the walls of the orphanage. None of them took well to me. The strange girl with the strange name 'Doe Meadowes', the one who with the strange school she disappeared off to every fall. Sometimes, on mornings like this, when one of them gave me a particularly hard time about leaving, I wondered how they would react if I told them were I was really going. Even imagining the words gave me a strange upsurge of pleasure; _"Why yes, Ms. Churchmire. I'm heading off to my school again, Hogwarts it's called. A school for witches and wizards, like me."_ My wand gave a little jolt from inside my pocket at the thought. and a tiny smile crept onto my face as Ms. Churchmire scribbled something else on form in front of her. But I didn't dare say that. I wouldn't even consider do or say anything that would have kept me from returning to Hogwarts. I had to constantly remind myself that I wasn't the _only_ one who spends my summers, magic-free _._ My friends Lily Evans and Mary Macdonald are muggle-born and spend their summers with muggles too. Of course, they also both have parents and homes. They're not stuck in a place like this.

Only the scratching of Ms. Churchmire's pen could be heard now, all of the other orphans were downstairs enjoying a jovial breakfast. Today was an ordinary day for them. They didn't understand why it was so important.

I spent every day of the last two months wishing this day would come sooner. The day that I would be reunited with my friends for our fifth year. It had been a long summer, with my schoolbook and wand hidden in my trunk, away from the prying eyes of my dorm mates, hiding any sign that I was anything other than one of them, an ordinary orphaned girl.

I feel an upsurge of grief at the thought of that word; orphan. Nearly four years later, and I can't help but wish my parents were still here, _alive_. If they were, I wouldn't have been stuck in this dreary orphanage. The three of us would be joyfully heading to Platform 9 ¾ together like we did my first year. They would have been the ones that took me to buy my schoolbooks and things, instead of Hagrid. I had to dig my nails into the palm of my hand to keep from tearing up. Anger swelled up inside of me as the image of their murderer flashed through my mind. The man with the face that looks so similar to mine. That almost made it worse, that I looked so much like my mother and her family. I couldn't even look in the mirror without being reminded of her. We had the same overly large blue eyes. The same pointed features and pale blonde hair.

My poor mother, murdered alongside her husband, at the hands of her own brother. I felt a strange sense of hatred towards him, the man who ruined my life. His name burned in my throat like an unforgivable curse; _Aubleus Greengrass._ It didn't seem fair that he was off somewhere, _alive and well_ , while my parents laid in matching graves.

"So everything seems to be in order," Ms. Churchmire said carefully, dragging me out of my own morbid thoughts. "Professor Dumbledore had made arrangements for you again, and you will be returning in June as usual, right Dorcas?"

"Yes, Ms. Churchmire," I told her, trying to keep my face steady, and not cringe at my given name. I hated it almost as much as the woman who I was named after.

"Well then, you may go, Ms. Meadowes. Have a good term."

I offered her a small farewell and dragged my trunk from the entrance hall towards the front steps. As I did, I saw the stares of the other children, their eyes followed me down the corridor with strange expressions. I didn't know if it was jealousy or indifference, but I didn't try to figure it out.

"Heading off to that fancy school of yours?" my roommate Helen sniffed haughtily, her nose high in the air.

"Yes, Helen," I said, slightly annoyed as I try to drag my trunk out the front door.

Helen gave me roll of her eyes. "We won't miss you," she said cruelly and then slammed the front door closed with more force than necessary. Even through the dusty glass, I could see the sneer she cast at me before turning on her heels. I didn't let Helen's cruel response phase me, I was far too excited to be rid of the dreary place.

The London street was busy and full of people heading off to work. Not one of them looked twice at me, or towards the high-railed orphanage, they all regarded as an eye sore to the neighborhood. Managing my trunk down the steps was a little difficult, but I didn't have any choice. My eyes scanned the road across the street for any sign of a taxi, the small amount of muggle money I had jingling in my jacket pocket as I did.

Immediately and unexpectedly, an icy drift of air tickled the back of my neck, so dreadful and terrifying it stopped me cold. My eyes drifted upward immediately in search of the cause, sure something sinister and dreadful had to be near. I found a man watching me. His eyes had been clearly focused on the orphanage behind me, but in seconds they locked on me, narrowing in suspicion. The man was clearly older, but with the looks of someone who had once been very handsome. His straight dark hair was well groomed, and though he wore muggle clothes, I immediately recognized the tip of his wand poking out of his jacket pocket. A wizard.

My chest tightened, fearing the worst. This was no one I had ever met before, but he looked strangely familiar. I knew he wasn't Aubleus, but could he be a friend of his, finally come to finish me off? And even if it wasn't, engaging a strange wizard wasn't safe right now. Not with what had been happening in the wizarding world lately.

"It's terrible, isn't it?" the man asked carefully, in a slow methodic voice, "to live among muggles, when you know you are capable of so much more."

I blinked quickly in surprise. Did he know what I was? I was dressed plainly in muggle clothes and my wand was out of view, there was nothing to signify I was anything other than another muggle teenager. How could he have known that? Something about the stranger and his penetrating stare made me answer him.

"It s'not so bad," I told him warily. "You get used to it."

The stranger let out a cold, high laugh. Just the sound of it sent a shiver down my spine and he seemed to notice, ceasing his laughter.

"That is the problem, isn't it?" he said cruelly, his face filling with malice. "We're the ones hiding what we _are_. Ridiculous." He scowled and the length of his wand slipped down into his pale hand.

He looked like he was about to say something else, but a taxi had pulled up on the street in front of me, distracting me for a moment. When I looked back up, the wizard had disappeared. Had I imagined him? Maybe months of being deprived from anything magical had caused me to hallucinate. It certainly made more sense than happening across a random wizard outside of a dreary muggle orphanage. I tried not to think about it as I helped the driver load my trunk into the back of the cab. Whoever he was, he didn't seem that friendly anyway.

It was a short drive to King Cross Station, and I didn't get another chance to think about the strange man again. I was too busy loading my trunk onto a trolley and heading for Platform 9 ¾. The station was crowded with muggles today, but none of them seemed to pay me or anyone else any mind. They were quite used to seeing unusual things in the station on September 1st. I quietly made my way to Platforms Nine and Ten and watched as a seventh year Hufflepuff named Terrence McGowan disappear into the Platform just as I approached it. None of the muggles had even noticed. I waited until I was sure it was clear and charged straight through the brick wall, entering Platform 9 ¾ in one quick, steady stride.

The smells hit me before my eyes had even had time to process the crowds of Hogwarts students and their luggage. The steam emanating from the giant scarlet engine swirled in and out of my nose, tainted slightly by the delicious wafting scent of baked goods being shoved into the hands of nervous first years by their overbearing parents. As much as I loved Hogwarts, I loved the Platform even more. The entirety of it was crowded with witches and wizards all clamoring to find their friends and bid farewell to their parents. I ducked to avoid getting hit by a bewitched piece of parchment that was floating effortlessly through the air, cast by a pompous looking Ravenclaw girl, but I didn't mind in the slightest. I was just glad to see _any_ kind of magic. It had been too long already. The throngs of people parted slightly and I made my way through it in search of my friends, stopping occasionally to wave to someone I knew.

"You're looking a little lonely there, Meadowes," a velvety voice said confidently from beside me.

Sirius Black was leaning against the Hogwarts express with an overly-confident expression on his face. He looked very tan from the summer and his long dark hair sat perfectly tousled. He had let it grow out since the last time I had seen him, and it practically reached his shoulders now. When he stood like that, it was clear why half the girls at Hogwarts fancied him, even if he was the most arrogant boy in their year. Standing beside him, was his messy-haired best friend James Potter. Not that it was very surprising, I rarely saw one without the other. It was rare to even see _two_ of them instead of four. The Marauders were always together.

"I was looking for Lily," I told him, slightly annoyed. I rarely had the patience to deal with either of them.

"I'm _always_ looking for Evans," James replied cheekily, a grin stretched across his face. "Want some help looking for her? I'm sure she'd just _dying_ to see me."

I chuckled, knowing first-hand just how unreciprocated James affection for Lily was. "I'm sure if you asked her, she'd rather die than see you, actually."

Sirius let out a throaty laugh and James clutched his chest in false horror. "You're cold, Meadowes. Evans _loves_ me."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

A thick shape barreled past me and interrupted the conversation. James and Sirius suddenly became very disinterested in my presence as Peter Pettigrew bounded towards them, almost shoving me into Mafalda Hopkirk. She eyed me with a harsh expression.

 _"_ _Prongs! Padfoot! Sorry I'm late you won't believe what Mum and I found in the yard this morning…."_

I didn't stay to find out what Peter had found in his yard, trying to push past a couple of Slytherin third years to make my way to the thickest part of the crowd.

"Doe! Over here!"

I looked up to see the familiar red-hair and freckled cheeks of my closest friend, Lily Evans. A wide smile stretched across her tiny, excited face as she embraced me in a tight hug. She was already wearing her school robes over her sweater and they billowed around us as she hugged me tighter. When we broke apart I noticed her hair too had grown. It hung like a curtain of full dark hair down her back and made her green eyes pop. Lily had always had the kind of beauty it was hard to look away from, but it seemed this summer she had grown into herself even more. James Potter wouldn't stand a chance.

"I was worried about you," she chided motherly. "You _always_ beat me here. I hold you personally responsible for the last ten minutes of awkward silence between Petunia and I that I had to endure while waiting for you." She cast a dark look across the platform where her mother and Petunia were exiting. Petunia was staring directly at the floor, avoiding looking at anything that even remotely resembled magic.

"Sorry, Lils," I apologized. " I had a bit of a weird thing happen this morning." I thought of my strange encounter with the odd wizard. Even away from him, I could still feel his cold, polarizing presence breathing down my neck.

"Is it boy- related?" Lily asked excitedly, an eyebrow arched in suspicion.

I shook my head, suppressing a laugh. "It's me your talking to, not _Marlene._ " I reminded her.

"I suppose your right," Lily said with a shrug. "How was your summer, anyway? It's rubbish you could only spend the first week with us. I missed you the moment you left, and you never write enough when you send letters by muggle post. The owls usually peck you until you've written good long responses."

I let out a throaty laugh. "I missed you too. I'd have loved to stay longer, but you know, Dumbledore said," I replied glumly.

"I guess it's for the best," Lily agreed. "Though I still wish I hadn't had to spend all that time with Petunia."

Lily chuckled, her shoulders moving forward and flashing a bit of gold and scarlet on her chest. For the first time, I noticed the shiny badge pinned to the front of her robes.

"You made prefect!?" I ask her excitedly.

Lily beamed, her whole face shining with pride. "Yes! Isn't it excellent? I almost had a heart attack when I got the letter.," She gave me a careful look, "I was sure it would be you."

I shake my head. "No way, Lily. You've always had it in the bag. You've had what, _one_ detention?"

"But you haven't ever lost _any_ points for Gryffindor," she reminded me.

"But you have earned at least twice the points I have, that counts for something."

Lily smiled again. "Oh alright, I guess you're right," Her face filled with pride again. "It'll be fun getting to use the prefect's bathrooms, but of course I'll have to patrol too. Though I think it will definitely be worth it-"

Her words were cut off as two tanned arms threw themselves around our necks in a bone crushing hug.

"Merlin, I missed you two!" Marlene McKinnon shouted as she squeezed us tighter. "I've been searching the platform up and down for you two."

"Marley…can't breathe." Lily managed to choke out. Marlene's amber eyes sparkled and released us from the hug, smiling broadly.

"Marlene you're so tan," Lily said enviously as she twirled in front of us, clutching a silver cage with her tawny owl nestled inside it. "You must have spent every day on the beach."

"Yes, how was France?" I pressed. "Was Melinda's wedding beautiful?"

"Over the top. Just like everything with my sister. I spent most of it with Meredith down in the muggle villages." Marlene grinned mischievously, a little color filling her cheeks. " The muggle boys there are _adorable_ , and absolutely dazzled by the stories of my fascinating, English boarding school."

"As if you'd need magic to dazzle them," Lily joked. Marlene fluttered her eyelashes at her.

Anyone who looked at Marlene for even a moment would know how true it was. She was so fit that it made every single other girl in the room sigh with envy when they looked in her direction. Her head was full of perfect, honey colored hair and her legs stretched on for days. She was blessed with such a fantastic figure, it often made Lily and I self-conscious of our small, willowy frames. Marlene was easily the prettiest girl in the year, with a vivacious personality that matched it in equal measure.

"Has anyone seen Mary yet?" Marlene asked, scanning the crowds on the tops of her toes.

"Not yet, but I just got here," I told her.

"I'm here, I'm here! Sorry!" Mary said sprinting towards us, her dark fringe blowing in the wind

as she did. She had a twisted, frustrated expression on her face as she approached us. She wore a purple sweater that complimented her dark, ebony skin, and her black silky hair was twisted up into a damp bun at the top of her head. She had clearly been running late.

"Speak of the devil," Marlene replied. "What took you so long?"

Mary cast a dirty look at her younger sister, crowded around a group of her third-year, Gryffindor friends. "Julie took about ten years to leave the house this morning, and mind you she knows how long it takes to get here. It's not as if we can floo from a muggle house!"

Marlene stared at her bewildered. "I always forget you guys have to drive here, what are those things called again? Obbomobiles?"

"Automobiles," Lily finished for her. "Cars. Honestly Marlene you've taken Muggle Studies for two years now."

"Yeah but I only took it because you three _made me_ ," Marlene whined. "I'm a pureblood. I'm not supposed to know these things."

Lily shook her head, "Yeah but were tired of explain things to you, Marls. Mary and I are muggleborns and Doe's a half-blood, but even she knows about muggles."

Marlene dropped her voice and scanned the crowd to make sure no one was listening in. "Yeah but she _lives with them_. Of course, she knows things. I would too if I spent every summer with them."

She gave me a warning look to see if this statement had bothered me. I gave her an encouraging smile to let her know it hadn't.

It wasn't common knowledge among Hogwarts students that I lived in a muggle orphanage. Only the three of them, and the professors knew. My parent's death was already controversial enough, dominating headlines in my first year; _Pureblood Aurelia Greengrass and Muggleborn Husband Darius Meadowes Murdered, Suspected Killer Aubleus Greengrass Still Missing_.

I had decided then that having my parents murdered by mother's pureblood, purist family was bad enough. I wasn't ashamed of living with muggles, that didn't bother me in the slightest. I just didn't need everyone else to know that the rest of her family didn't want anything to with me or my _dirty blood_.

It was my troubled past that kept me quiet at Hogwarts. The reason I didn't try and stand out like Marlene or Lily, why I was more comfortable studying hard and blending into the crowd of other Gryffindors.

"Has anyone seen the Marauders yet?" Mary asked as Caradoc Dearborn, the fifth boy in their dormitory strode by eyeing Marlene.

"No," Lily crossed her arms with much more ferocity than was necessary, "and I'm hoping to avoid it for as long as possible. I don't need James Stinking Potter ruining my train ride."

Marlene and I caught each other's eyes and she made a face behind Lily's head. Mary let out a little laugh before she could stop herself.

"I already saw them before I found you guys," I told them. "James asked about you, Lily. Thought you'd be excited to see him."

"Of course, he did!" She huffed angrily. "What a git! They're all so annoying, stupid arrogant idiots strutting around the castle causing trouble just for the sake of it. I'm so _sick_ of them. Well, except Remus of course…. He doesn't really do anything…but that's not the point. They better not think they're getting away with _anything_ this year. Not now that I'm a prefect. "

Lily puffed her chest out proudly, letting her badge glimmer against her stark black robes.

"Of course, you got the badge," Marlene said pointing to Lily's chest with a knowing look. "I suppose the rest of us will have to behave now, won't we?" She looked over at Mary and I, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "We've got to be good girls for Ickle Lilykins."

"Like I could ever control _you_ ," Lily said shaking her head. "Anyway, I probably should head over to the Prefect's carriage for the meeting. I don't think I have to be there the entire time, but most of it."

"We should probably find a compartment then," Mary said, scanning the thinning crowd. Only the younger, nervous-looking students remained. "Unless you want to get stuck sitting with first years."

"Or my brothers" Marlene added. "They're both of age now and boy do they like to rub it in. All summer they were apparating out of thin air and charming all of the village girls with their little magic tricks." She rolled her eyes, annoyed at the memory. "Come on, we can probably still find a good one."

We climbed onto the train behind a group of second years, listening to them go on and on about the Quidditch match they had watched during the summer. My ears perked up as I eavesdropped, shamelessly on their conversation. I loved Quidditch and hadn't heard a scrap of news about it since June.

 _"_ _I'm telling you Bulstrode, Moran is definitely getting traded to England!" "There's no way Ireland would let him go! He catches the snitch in what, fifteen minutes? It's mad!"_

Lily bade us all goodbye and turned left towards the prefect carriage while the rest of searched the corridor of the train for an empty compartment. Marlene gave me a dirty look when I suggested we sit in a compartment loaded with sixth seventh years, that contained her brothers Landon and Carmichael, and Mary flat out refused to sit in one with only Benjy Flitwick on account of his idiotic conversational skills.

"On a scale of one to ten, how upset would Lily be if we sat in _that_ compartment?" Marlene chuckled, nodding in the direction of the compartment to our left. In it, sat three of the Marauders. James was telling a very animated story with his hands and Sirius had his feet leaning up against the compartment window, listening with a easy grin on his face. Peter was laughing so hard he was shaking and red in the face.

"Ten," Mary said without hesitation.

"She'd hex us into next Thursday," I told Marlene, looking at her hopeful expression. "Let's keep looking."

Marlene looked wistfully into the compartment, sighing and then led the way to an empty one three doors down. She plopped her owl cage down on the on the floor and took the seat by the window. I curled up beside her. We had barely sat down when the train started to move. Outside of the window we could hear parents shouting goodbyes and last-minute bits of advice to their kids. My heart lurched as I remembered my own parents doing the same, four years ago.

"Where we ever that young?" Mary asked, as the last first year, a little ginger girl, scrambled onto the train.

"Doubtful," I said.

"I remember us looking older," Marlene agreed, watching the girl. "That one looks about eight years old. I swear they get younger every year."

Marlene shrugged and tossed her legs over my lap, resting her head against the window, then out of nowhere, something flashed across her eyes.

"Oh Doe, that reminds me. I brought the prophet like you asked," she said reaching into her jacket prophet, pulling out a neatly folded copy of this mornings, Daily Prophet.

"Thank Merlin. I have been out of the loop for months." I carefully unfolded the paper. The headline made me gasp.

 _Three Muggles Murdered in Cokeworth, Suspected Work of Death Eaters_

Mary's eyes darkened. "You haven't missed anything good, every other headline has been something like that."

"You mean…." I trailed off. " _You-Know-Who?"_ Mary gave a tiny, terrified nod, and I felt my stomach give a lurch that had nothing to do with the train's speed. Mary had gone silent, her face draining of color, and Marlene watched us with careful eyes, her lips pulled into a tight line.

It had started the summer before our first year. The news of a terrifying dark wizard, so powerful his name couldn't be spoken, who rallied for the rights of wizards over muggles, and his call for blood purity. At first, it had only been meetings, but he had gained support over the years, and his followers, Death Eaters, had proved their dedication to him. Now muggle and muggleborns killings were happening more frequently, as You-Know-Who swept the nation for support and followers. It was ideas like his that drove Aubleus to kill my parents, for being an inter-blooded couple. Aurelia Greengass had dishonored her family by marrying a muggleborn.

"It's not just talk, anymore," Marlene said quietly. "Not like it used to be. They're killing now. I heard my brothers talking about it with my dad. You-Know-Who is gaining more followers, trying to rid the world of _dirty blood_ ," Marlene gave an angry eye roll. "And they say, he's recruiting. It's strange how much support he's gotten from these Pureblood purists. You should have heard the fight my sister Meredith got into with my Grandmother when she said she agreed with some of his points, It was nasty. Myra had to literally step in front of Gran to stop Mer from hexing her. She's probably gone and written Meredith out of the will now…"

"Your grandmother _agrees_ with You-Know-Who?" I asked disbelief, my mouth hanging open.

Marlene shrugged her shoulders. "You know Old Birdface, she still thinks it's 1898, when most wizards are Purebloods. She remembers it was easier back then, before blood purity was a concern." Mary's eyes narrowed to slits. "Not that it's _right_ ," Marlene added quickly, seeing the expression on her face.

"It's a load of dragon dung," I assured Mary. "Blood status means nothing. If it did, Lily wouldn't be one of the best in the year and the Slytherins wouldn't be such absolute morons."

Mary cracked a tiny smile, and then stared off out of the window, watching the rolling hills pass by. For a while we sat in silence while I read through the prophet and Marlene absentmindedly stroked her owl's wings, resting her head on my shoulder. After that we went over our summer's both Mary and Marlene had much more interesting stores to tell than I did. Marlene had spent the entire summer in her beach house in the South of France, and Mary had gone to America for two weeks to visit her mother's cousin. When there were lulls in conversation, I found myself thinking about the man I had seen outside of the orphanage. There was something so terrifying about his presence. I couldn't shake the way he spoke, or the shiver that it gave me.

"Did you ever end up hexing that bitch of a dorm mate, you had," Marlene asked stretching her arms above her head. "What was her name, Helen?"

I grimaced. "No, but I should have. I caught her trying to break into my trunk at least three times this summer."

Marlene let out a high laugh. "You should have let her. If she had found your wand, she would have that left you alone."

"Or thought I was more of a nutter than she already does," I said darkly. "You should hear the way they go on and on about my name."

We were interrupted by the arrival of the trolley. The kindly witch slid the door open and each of us withdrew our money bags, scanning the trolley for something to eat.

"Let's get a couple of chocolate frogs for Lily," Mary said coughing up a few extra sickles. "You know she collects the cards."

I handed Mary some gold and then grabbed a few pumpkin pasties. The smell was already drifting through my nose in delicious swirls. Marlene took a bite of a Cauldron Cake and her eyes fluttered. "Merlin, that's good."

The pumpkin pasty was already warm and melted on my tongue. "I second that."

"I'm just excited for the feast," Mary said popping a chunk of Coconut Ice into her mouth. "Do you think they'll have those little apple tart things they had last year? Julie and I go mental for those."

"Julie goes mental for anything she can put in her mouth," Marlene replied cheekily. "What is she on her _fifth_ boyfriend this year?"

Mary rolled her eyes. "Isn't that a little rich coming from you, of all people, Marlene. You're getting to be the female Sirius."

"That's the highest compliment you've ever paid me, Macdonald."

The door to the compartment slid open and Lily appeared, flushed and excited, with a dark-haired, hook-nosed boy at her side. He too was wearing his school robes and a matching emerald Prefect pin on his lapel. Marlene's eyes narrowed. Mary grimaced. Neither of them were able to hid their distaste for Lily' companion.

"Hello, _Severus_ ," I said loudly, looking at my friends pointedly. "How are you?"

"Fine," Severus said evenly, not looking in my direction. He only looked at Lily.

Mary and Marlene detested Severus, and never tried to hide their feelings about him.

I wasn't his biggest fan either, but I tried my best to be civil to him, for Lily's sake.

Lily meanwhile was beaming, seemingly not having noticed how cold Marlene and Mary had become at the sight of her other friend. "We just came from the prefect meeting, it was excellent!"

"Who are Head Boy and Girl this year?" I asked.

"Tara Fallensnow and Edgar Bones, both from Ravenclaw," Lily said, slightly crestfallen, "I was hoping it would be Kelly Spinnet, but…"

"Tara's that muggle-born with the long blonde hair right?" Marlene asked. Lily nodded. Severus scowled at the mention of muggleborns and Marlene caught my eye, as if to say _See?_ I shrugged. It wasn't my business what Severus thought. If Lily was still friends with him after all this time, she surely had her reasons.

Clumps of other prefects had started to walk past our compartment, talking is loud, excited voices. Severus took one look at them and then whispered a hushed goodbye to Lily, disappearing into the throngs of other fifth, sixth and seventh years. Lily plopped down in the open seat beside Mary. "Oh, Chocolate Frog Cards. Excellent! Thank you, guys." Her tiny hand unwrapped one of them and frowned. "Dammit, it's Wilmerbrook. I have at least three of him, already."

"So, come on, who are the other prefects?" Mary asked, nodding at Lily.

"What she's asking is who else do we have to avoid this year if we want to have any fun?" Marlene chuckled.

Lily rolled her bright, green eyes at Marlene. "Well obviously from Gryffindor it's me and Remus."

"No surprise there," Mary said. "I feel for James and Sirius though, if Remus has to patrol their behavior."

"No one can control the Marauders behavior." Marlene shook her head fiercely. "This is just McGonagall trying to save face. All she's done is put Remus in a tough spot."

Lily's teeth ground together across from her. "I think it's an excellent idea that she made Remus a prefect," she huffed. "Maybe he will be able to stop James and Sirius from running around the castle like they _own the place_. Hexing anyone they want and acting like arrogant little-"

"What about the Slytherins?" Mary asked cutting her off, before Lily could launch into her usual tirade about James and Sirius.

"From Slytherin, it's Severus and Narcissa Black."

Marlene made a horrible noise in the back of her throat. "That _tart?_ Who in their right mind gave Narcissa Black a badge?"

"Well, Slughorn obviously," Lily said quickly. "You know how he _adores_ the Blacks. He even likes Sirius, and he's not even in his house."

"But Narcissa?" I scowled. "She's vile. She can't go a week without calling someone a _you-know-what._ " Mary's eyes widened as she realized what I meant.

Lily shrugged, but even she looked a little shaken. "I know what you mean, but who else would he choose? Sylvia Montague is dumber than a troll and Tracey Travers is too quiet. And he couldn't have chosen Elizabeth Burke. She's had more detentions for hexing first years than anyone in the year."

"That's because she's a colossal, blood-status- obsessed bitch," Marlene huffed, tossing her perfect hair behind her shoulder. "She was at a barbecue with me this summer and all she did was go on and on about her father's shop and all the muggle-baiting items they sold."

Mary wrapped her arms protectively around her shoulders, letting her eyes slip closed. "What about Ravenclaw?" She asked clearly trying to change the subject to something lighter.

"Barty Crouch Jr. and Mafalda Hopkirk. And from Hufflepuff it's Amos Diggory and Amelia Bones."

"Ooh, Amelia?" I asked, getting excited. "Good for her." Amelia and I had been friends since childhood. We had even lived in the same neighborhood before my parents died.

"Yeah, she asked about you." Lily said, nodding. "I sat with her and Amos before Sev came in."

"I like Amelia," Marlene commented. "She's not a duffer like the rest of that house."

Lily groaned. "You sound like James and Sirius when you say that. Not all of Hufflepuff is useless."

"Speaking of Sirius," Marlene said dreamily. "I'm spent quite a bit of the summer thinking about the boy."

Mary raised an eyebrow. "Thinking?"

"Well more like wondering, you know, if he…. lives up to his reputation."

The entire compartment went dead silent, and a wide cocky smile stretched across Marlene's face as she realized we know exactly what she meant.

"Haven't you been there, done that?" Lily asked quietly.

Marlene gave her a knowing look. "A quick snogging session in the broom closet during fourth year doesn't count, Lils. I'm thinking about a romp in the four-poster. Don't you think it's a little strange, with all the guys I've slept with at Hogwarts and I've never once done it with the most attractive guy in the year?"

I let out a low sigh and turned to face her. Marlene didn't hesitate before facing me with a stern gaze. "Don't flash those giant eyes of yours at me, Doe. I always feel guilty when you do that."

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, Marlene," I told her. "I just think you can do _so_ much better. Half the boys at Hogwarts would hex off a finger to take you out." Marlene let out a loud _"Hmpf!"_ I talked over her. "Sirius goes through a girl a week. Don't you want someone who's more, I don't know...committed?"

"Commitment is overrated."

"Since when?"

"Since now. It's 1975. I'm not looking for a husband, just someone to have a little fun with."

Her full lips pouted and she turned to me with a serious expression. "I know how you feel about him, Doe, and I promise you I won't get all churned up about him, alright?"

"As long as your happy, Marlene. I am," I tell her. Marlene gave me a grateful smile and leaned her head on my shoulder.

Lily sighed and rested her head against the window. It left a tiny little circle of fog underneath her mouth, and her eyes stared dreamily out of the window as if she had already checked out of the conversation. She knew how I felt about Sirius Black and how much Marlene liked him. She had enough sense to know a lost cause when she saw one.

It wasn't as if I hated Sirius Black. It didn't even hold a candle to the way Lily detested James Potter, it was just something about his demeanor that always irritated me. I didn't know if it was his overconfidence or slight sense of entitlement. But every time Sirius Black opened his mouth, I was irked.

"Anyway, that's the plan," Marlene said. "If I can ever get Caradoc Dearborn to piss off."

"Is he still obsessed with you?" I asked her excitedly, a giggle escaping my mouth before I could stop it. "Remember last year when he practically stalked you in Hogsmeade."

Marlene chuckled, "How could I forget? I had to pretend I couldn't see him peering in the bushes, while I walked with Marcus Fawcett. What. A. Loon."

"Speaking of boys that are obsessed with us," Mary said nodding to the compartment door. We barely had time to look up when the door slid open and James Potter's torso appeared, flanked on either side by the other three Marauders. Lily let out an angry breathy, cry.

"There you are, Evans," James smirked, leaning on the doorframe. "I was waiting for you to come and say hello to me."

Lily scowled. "Fat chance."

James continued on as if he hadn't even heard her comment. "I decided I had to come and look for you. You see I wanted to make sure you got _this._ "

In his fingers, he twirled a chocolate frog card. The wizard in the photo was old with a long twisted gray beard, and beady little eyes. He kept scowling at us, and burying his face under the corner of the card, but it didn't stop anyone from reading the name strewn across the front.

"Is that a _Flamel?_ " Mary asked loudly, in utter disbelief. "Those are so rare."

James smirked. "Only about a twenty of them, so I hear. And lucky me, just happened to unwrap it in our compartment."

Sirius snickered behind him. "You're calling that luck? You only bought about a thousand of them. I'd be surprised if any first year managed to get their hands on one, after you finished with the trolley witch."

"It was divine intervention, Padfoot," James assured him. "Merlin himself made sure I had something worthy to give to 'ol Evans here. I mean how could any serious, chocolate frog card collector, turn down something as rare as Flamel."

"You're just lucky Moony was there to finish off all the frogs," Sirius said nodding his head at Remus, who turned pink in the face at his words, slightly embarrassed. Sirius chuckled. Lily gave a furious roll of her eyes and turned away from him staring out the window again, as if wishing he would just disappear.

James didn't seem to be paying attention to his friends. His eyes were locked only on Lily.

"Do you have a point?" Lily demanded, crossing her arms in frustration. "Or are you just here to listen to yourself talk?"

"So, what do you say, Evans, you want it?" He twirled the card quickly through his fingers against, his face calm and serene.

Lily eyed him with uncertainty, letting her gaze drift from his face to the card he held. I could see the discomfort in her eyes. As a collector, I knew she wanted that card, but was struggling with whether she wanted it enough to take it from _James Potter._ She seemed to search his face for the punch line that was coming, or if taking this card would insinuate that she and James were anything other than mortal enemies. Not that I blamed her. James Potter spent half of his time at Hogwarts, pestering and irritating her.

"I guess," Lily said, in a cold jaded voice, her eyes still narrowed and hard.

"It's all yours," James said, a wide smile stretching so far across his face, his glasses slid down his thin, narrow nose. " _If_ , you go out with me."

It was as if a dragon had suddenly breathed fire into the compartment. Lily had jumped to her feet, furious and began shouting.

"YOU'RE SO THICK!" she roared at the top of her lungs. "Of course, that's what this is about. You have a one-track mind, Potter. Trying to _bribe me_ , as if that would work. When are you going to get it through your skull that I will never go out with you!"

"Tough luck, Prongs," Sirius said shaking his head.

James only laughed, his ego unaffected. "Oh, come on, go out with me. We already know you have questionable choice in who you spend time with. I'm practically tame compared to Snivellus."

"DON'T CALL HIM THAT!"

"Why? Isn't that his name?"

Lily's resulting shriek practically shook the entire train, as she fired off a string over very well-phrased insult at a further amused James.

Sirius ducked his head to the rest of us in the compartment. "Hello MacDonald, Meadowes, McKinnon. You sure like your M's in this compartment." He made sure to wink at Marlene, who offered him a flutter of her eyelashes.

"As if we chose are surnames," I whispered to myself, annoyed.

"How've you been Sirius?" Marlene asked him coyly, Lily and James were still fighting in the background.

 _"_ _You're so arrogant Potter, leave me alone!" "Why would I, Evans? You're so much fun!"_

"I've been bored silly, to tell you the truth," Sirius said. "Can't wait to be back at the castle."

 _"_ _\- and you never leave Severus alone! How could you think I would ever willingly want to spend more time with you?"_

 _"_ _Because I'm twice as fun as Snivellus, and nowhere near as greasy!"_

Lily's eyes narrowed to slits, and her tiny hand ripped her wand from her robes. "Get out! I'm not going to sit here and let you insult my friends. Go find someone else to bother or I swear I'll hex you into sixth year!"

Remus let out a defeated sigh. James ignored him. "Hex me? Aren't you a prefect, Evans? You shouldn't be making false threats."

"Prongs." Peter said warningly.

 _"_ _Flipendo!"_ Lily's shrill voice filled the entirety of the compartment as her spell hit James straight in the chest, knocking him back into the wall compartment behind him.

"Lily!" Mary chided. Marlene and I couldn't hold in our laughter.

Remus, Sirius, and Peter stared at their friend in utter amassment as Lily's frame filled the doorway.

"How's that for false threats?" she snapped. "Don't come back here again, or so help me I'll take points away from Gryffindor before the year even begins.  
James shook his head, but could barely contain his laughter as he got back to his feet. Lily looked furious that he was still so amused, that she grasped the door in her tiny fist and got ready to slam it.

"Evans, what about Flamel?" James asked.

"You can shove Flamel straight up your arse," Lily snapped and slammed the door to the compartment closed. Even through the closed door, we could still hear James and Sirius' echoing laughter. Lily turned her back to them and crossed her arms in frustration.

"Well," I said after a moment of silence. "It wouldn't be the start of a new year at Hogwarts without a classic Lily and James row."

* * *

The rest of the train ride passed without incident. The longer Lily had away from James Potter, the happier she became. We spent most of the time talking excitedly about the year ahead, and anxiously discussing how long it would be before we got to dive into the delicious food at the feast. When the train finally pulled into Hogsmeade, we were desperate to get inside, for warmth and food. The air outside was starting to get frigid, and cold snaps of wind brush across our faces turning our cheeks pink. The older students pushed through the crowds with their pet cages in their hands, desperate to find friends and empty carriages. The clusters of tiny first years all around us were scrambling towards Hagrid, who was brandishing his large arms and calling "FIRST YEARS THIS WAY!"

I made a mental note to stop after the feast and say hello to Hagrid. I owed him a lot. He was the one who took me to Diagon Alley every summer to make sure I got my things for the next year. The orphanage had strict rules about going out on day trips alone before you turned sixteen, making it virtually impossible for me to do anything until next summer. Hagrid was always a cheerful companion and would sit in the Leaky Cauldron, waiting as long as it took for me to get everything I needed.

Marlene managed to find an empty carriage near the back, and the four of us squeezed into it. The usual march of carriages to the castle felt even longer due to our hunger. Mary was practically bouncing in her seat the entire way.

"Watch out for Filch," Mary said, casting a dirty look at the caretaker as we headed through the castle for the Great Hall. He was standing at the entrance, clutching his foul, long-haired kitchen and sneering at every student who passed.

"Every year I hope he's magically been sacked," I said wistfully.

Marlene gave a dirty glance in his direction as she passed him. He seemed to notice, sneering at her with more hatred than he did the others. "He'll never be sacked. I don't know why Dumbledore keeps him around."

Lily shuddered. "Who knows? Dumbledore seems to like him well enough"

"Not enough to let him hang us by our ankles in the dungeons," I joked with a small smile.

The doors of the Great Hall were propped open, and students poured inside of it, clustering around their house tables and shouting hello's over their friend's shoulders. Amos Diggory waved excitedly to Lily from the Hufflepuff table, and Kyla Davies stopped Mary to tell her how much she adored her new haircut. The Marauders stormed in through front doors, all of them laughing loudly and taking up a wide chunk of the house table. Marlene, Mary and I took our seats in the middle of the house table and waited anxiously for the first years to arrive in the hall.

Hestia Jones, a sixth year with very straight, dark hair and long eyelashes complained about the wait and her eyes kept darting to the front doors, as the final students poured in. Hagrid pushed past a few of them heading for the staff table, and many people breathed a sigh of relief. If Hagrid was here that meant the sorting was starting at any point. Hagrid caught my eyes as he passed the Gryffindor table and I gave him a hearty wave. He returned it with a wide smile, before joining Professor Sprout at the high table. On the other side of Professor Sprout was a tiny, silver-haired witch in ancient violet robes. She was old, probably as old as Dumbledore and she sat quite still, looking forward at the students with a tiny smile, stroking an opal pendant that dangled from her neck. I had never seen her before.

"Does anyone know who that women at the staff table is?" I asked, nodding at the witch. Lily's head shot up and blinked quickly in surprise. "Nope, I've never seen her before."

"She could be the new defense against the dark arts teacher," Mary pointed out. "I heard Professor Walton swear last year that he'd never come back."

"I bet your right," I nodded, playing with a string on the end of my jumper. "In the four year's we've been at this school, we haven't kept a defense teacher for more than a year."

It was especially depressing considering Defense Against the Dark Arts was my favorite subject. The constant changing of teachers made it hard for us to learn anything truly interesting, and have it stick.

"I wish Professor Walton would have stayed," Lily whispered sadly. "He was excellent."

Marlene shook her head. "No way, everything he did was out of the textbooks. We had homework every single day." Lily gave her a quick look that suggested that homework wasn't the worst thing in the world.

"Remember Heavensgate in third year?" Marlene asked with a triumphant laugh.

Mary frowned. "Was that the one who only spoke in riddles? He was a loon."

"I liked Professor Pleasantbee," I said, remembering him fondly. "We had practical's every other day in second year."

"You only liked him because you're great at defense," Marlene pointed out. "It's the same reason Lily will swear up and down that Slughorn is great."

"Slughorn _is_ great."

"See?"

My gaze drifted back to the tiny witch, who was now engaged in a very excited conversation with Professor Flitwick. "Well I hope she's good at the very least. She doesn't look like she could take a hex or two."

I kept watching her, and for a moment she looked and met my eyes directly, as if she knew I had been watching her. She raised on of her thin silver eyebrows and I immediately looked back down at the table, embarrassed. Great. I had already managed to embarrass myself in front of the new professor and the feast hadn't even started yet.

"I. Am. Starving." Marlene complained loudly. "If the feast doesn't start soon, I'm going to eat Mrs. Norris."

"I don't recommend saying that any louder," Nearly Headless Nick whispered as he floated past Marlene's head. "Filch is already in a foul mood this evening."

Marlene eyed Nick carefully as he floated near her head, inching as far away from him as she could, without being outwardly rude. It was clear she was making sure he didn't float through her, but Nick didn't notice.

"Why's that?" Lily asked the ghost, resting her head delicately on her hand. "Did Peeves do something?"

"It's always Peeves," Nick complained. "He tried to glue whoopee cushions to the benches in the great hall. The bloody baron is dealing with him now, but if I were you, I'd expect something when I left the Great Hall. Peeves does not like to be outdone."

Nick didn't get a chance to say anything else. The doors to the great hall opened and Professor McGonagall strode in with a line of tiny, shaking first years behind her.

They stood in a small crowd at the front of the Great Hall, looking around with wide fearful eyes. It was another twenty minutes before the sorting was over. Every single student second year and above was staring at the empty table in front of them, desperately awaiting the moment it would be laden with food.

When the final student, 'Zalbrook, Kimberly," was sorted into Slytherin, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Thankfully, Dumbledore seemed to be waiting until after the feast to give his start-of term speech, because the moment Kimberly Zalbrook took her seat at the Slytherin table, the house tables filled with an impressive selection of food. Groans of pure delight filled the hall as everyone dove in and filled their plates with everything from sausages to potatoes to Yorkshire puddings.

"Hey, Lils," Marlene said through a mouthful of potatoes. "That new Gryffindor sort of looks like you a bit." She pointed to a newly sorted first year with a mane of heavy ginger hair.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "She doesn't look a thing like me."

"Yeah she does. Around the eyes, and the mouth."

"Oh, come off it, McKinnon," James called from down the table, where he had clearly been eavesdropping. "She doesn't look a thing like Evans."

"No one invited you to this conversation, James." Lily snapped harshly.

James ruffled his hair, his cheeks slightly pink. "Actually, McKinnon did. She talks so loud she practically invited all of Gryffindor."

He was making a strange face and I couldn't help but think he looked a tad embarrassed.

"I don't talk that loud," Marlene said shrilly. She crossed her arms and pouted.

"Unfortunately, you do Love," Sirius added. "I've heard ever word you said tonight. Including that bit about eating Mrs. Norris. Which might I say, sounds incredibly dirty out of context."

His comment had been met with a tiny giggle from Hestia Jones, and Sirius' grin stretched wider across his face.

Remus sighed. "Very mature, Sirius."

"That just proves your stalking me, Black," Marlene shot back, fluttering her eyelashes at him in an obviously salacious way. Sirius grinned. "Always"

I had to choke back the urge to vomit. I hated when they flirted like this. Marlene could do so much better.

Marlene's eyes widened for a second and she nudged me harshly in the ribs with her elbows.

"Oi, Meadowes. Incoming."

"What are you-" I stopped talking immediately, see what Marlene had.

Gideon Prewett was walking towards our section of the table, lifting a bowl of kippers, his twin brother Fabian at his side with a jug of iced pumpkin juice. He was tall and broad-shouldered, with a ponytail of long, dark red hair hanging past his shoulders, matching his prefect badge perfectly. The one he had gotten the year previously. He caught my eye and smiled broadly, drawing more attention to his freckled cheeks. I felt my face turn bright red and I accidently knocked over the glass of pumpkin juice in front of me on the table.

"Dammit," I said pulling out my wand _"Terego!"_ The juice disappeared immediately from the tabletop. Marlene let out a knowing giggle and Lily threw me a sympathetic glance.

"Hey, Doe." Gideon said cheerfully, balancing the bowl in his arms. "You alright there?" His brother Fabian, who looked identical to him despite his quite cropped hair, cast him a sideways glance and then headed back to their spot further down the house table.

I nodded at Gideon, trying to keep it from showing just how much my heart was racing. "Yeah, just clumsy apparently."

Gideon grinned and ran his free hand through his hair. "I wouldn't worry about it. Lucky, you knew that spell, huh?"

"Yeah, uh…thank Merlin for Transfiguration." Now I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. _Thank Merlin for Transfiguration?_ I sounded like a first year. How could I be so daft? Sure, Gideon was attractive, and friendly, and gave me a tiny flutter in my stomach when he talked, but it didn't make any sense for me to act like such a loon around him.

"Doe's full of little surprises," Marlene whispered quietly. I stamped on her foot under the table.

Gideon was still smiling. "I was surprised you weren't at the prefect meeting. I thought for sure you'd be chosen. Guess you've caused too much trouble, huh?"

Marlene let out a snort "Doe cause trouble?" but silenced when she saw the look Lily was giving her across the table.

I turned back to Gideon and shrugged. "Well, what can you do? I have a sinking suspicion that Professor McGonagall only gives it to redheads." I nodded at the badge on his chest and Gideon let out a loud, throaty laugh.

"That's a good one, Doe," he said, still chuckling and carried the bowl of kippers back to his group of sixth year friends. The moment he had turned around I let my head fall onto the table.

"Well that was…. _sweet_." Marlene said patting my shoulder comfortingly, struggling to hide her laughter.

"I sounded like an idiot," I said burying my head on the table. Why did I have to be so spastic? Gideon was probably having a good laugh about it right now. "Why am I so stupid?"

"I'd forgotten you liked Gideon," Lily whispered. "He's certainly gotten better-looking over the summer hasn't he?"

"Like gingers do you Meadowes?" Sirius asked cheekily. "You're just like James." He cast a grin at his messy-haired best mate.

Lily's entire face turned bright red and she rolled her eyes. James looked downright giddy. "I guess Meadowes and I have more in common than I thought."

I could see the fury spreading across Lily's face but she managed to calm herself down enough to ignore him. Though she did stab the piece of cake in front of her with a disproportional amount of ferocity.

A light clinking of glasses turned everyone's attention forward. Professor Dumbledore was standing in front of his golden eagle stadium clutching a champagne glass in his old wrinkled hand. He wore a contented expression as he tried to gather the attention of the students sitting in front of him. It only took a few seconds for the Great Hall to turn silent, as everyone focused their attention on their headmaster.

Dumbledore smiled down at them behind his half-moon spectacles. "Welcome back Students, I am so glad to have you all here for another wonderful year at Hogwarts. I just have a few short, start of term announcements to give out before you all head to the warm and cozy beds that are no doubt awaiting you.

Firstly, Mr. Filch has asked me to tell you all that the total number of banned items has now reached 234. The complete list of which can be found pinned to his office door. And as usual, I would like to remind some of the older students, that the forbidden forest on the edge of the school grounds, is aptly named, and _forbidden._ "

His eyes seemed to linger on the Marauders as he spoke. The four of them shared an expression that suggested they would be in the forest before the end of the week. Lily noticed and scowled.

"I would also like to take the time to welcome this year's new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher, Professor Marchbanks, who was graciously taken time away from her post as head O.W.L examiner in order to teach you for the year."

The tiny silver-haired witch rose at Dumbledore's greeting and held her hand up in greeting. She was tiny, barely taller than Flitwick, but there was something about her stern smile that made her still look slightly terrifying.

"Only for the year," Lily whispered to me regretfully. "Looks like we'll have _another_ one next year."

"I mean it's tradition at this point, isn't it?" I asked her. "I'd honestly have no idea what to do if we kept a defense teacher for more than a year."

"Pass an exam, maybe" Peter added sadly. Lily gave him a sympathetic smile. Unlike the others, it was hard to feel hatred towards Peter. He was so woefully pathetic.

James clapped him heartily on the back. "Don't worry Worm tail, it's O.W.L year. They'll be packing on the homework so heavy there's no way you won't be able to pass."

All over the Great Hall, conversation had drifted towards the new defense teacher. It had gotten so loud, Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"It seems other things have finally grasped hold of your attention," he said firmly. "So, I would like to once again, wish you all a fantastic year. First years, follow your prefects and they will escort you to the common room."

There was a clatter of sound as everyone pushed their way out of their seats and headed for the doors. Lily popped up excitedly, her face glowing with anticipation.

"Come on Remus!" She cheered happily and then raised her voice to shout, "First years, over here! This way to the common room."

She skipped out of the Great Hall with Remus and a trail of tiny new Gryffindors at her heels, looking very proud.

"Agrippa, she's meant to be a leader, huh?" Marlene asked me as we left the hall, watching Lily give a long-winded speech to the first years as they climbed the moving staircase.

I nodded "Of course she is. She's a natural." The first years clung to her every word as they followed her, and Lily kept throwing them comforting smiles. It seemed to calm them slightly. It was impossible not to like Lily's intoxicating presence. It was clear just how thrilled she was to be doing it.

"How annoying do you think Evans is going to be about this Prefect thing?" James asked Marlene coming to stand beside her.

"About as annoying as Remus'll be," Marlene reckoned. Sirius, who had jogged to catch up with James, gave a shake of this thick hair. "No way, Remus is only half the stickler he pretends to be. Evans on the other hand, blimey she loves this sort of thing." Peter was trailing a little behind them, doing his best to catch up to his quicker friends. Mary rolled her eyes and slowed a little to keep up with him.

Marlene looked downright thrilled to be walking with the Marauders, and I did my best to hide my disgust, keeping a good distance between myself and them. Normally, we were able to ignore the Marauder's presence more often. It was only Remus that Lily and I ever really spent time with. But today, the others seemed to be everywhere.

We were just reaching the staircase when a pair of hands grabbed my waist from behind yanking me back off the first step and into the entrance hall. The others were so engrossed in conversation, they hadn't even noticed.

I knew who it was before I even had time to turn around. I swatted the hands away and reached for my wand, furious. I kept it low, ready to use in case the situation got any more serious. His green eyes sparkled, amused.

"Of course, it's you," I snapped at him, growing angrier as I looked at him. "Couldn't have even waited until our first day to harass me?"

" _Harass?_ " Rabastan Lestrange chuckled, using one hand to push his thick dark hair out of his face. "That's a bit of an over exaggeration for these little games we play, isn't it, Doe?"

His full lips parted into a devilishly handsome smirk, and he carefully winked. Anger bubbled up inside of my chest as he did. It didn't quite seem fair that someone so inherently despicable lived inside of such an attractive body. The fact that he was beautiful, made me hate him even more.

He was flanked on either side by his other sixth-year Slytherins, Walden McNair and Antonin Dolohov. Walden looked bored, and Antonin was staring at me with strange amusement. Neither of them were particularly smart. Rabastan seemed to choose companions with brawn over brains.

"You're the only playing those games, Rabastan," I said firmly. "Everyone else would call it stalking."

Rabastan let out a low, even laugh. "Aw, Doe. How you _tease_ me."

My right hand started to shake as I clutched my wand tighter. There were still a few final students staggering out of the Great Hall in clumps. Far too many witnesses for Rabastan to try anything, but it didn't stop the fear from coursing through me. For reasons unknown to me, Rabastan had bothered me since I arrived at Hogwarts. When I was younger, it was more of an annoyance. He charmed bugs to follow me or hexing my backpack to break in the hallways. But as we got older, his annoyances had turned to unwarranted advances. I couldn't even be in the same room as him without worrying about what horrible things he was thinking. He was one of the Slytherins who wrongly believed his actions had no punishable consequences.

His eyes slowly raked up and down my body. "I see you've certainly grown up over the summer," he purred.

"Well-spotted," I said through clenched teeth, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

Rabastan grinned. "Well, I could always do with spotting a bit more…" His eyes trailed down my body again.

"Careful Rabastan," Antonin warned him, "Remember how filthy her blood is."

Rabastan rolled his emerald eyes. "So? No one's proposing, Antonin. It would be easy to forget about blood-status for a couple of hours or so." He winked at me. "And anyway, she's got those pureblood Greengrass good looks. You can't see a trace of that _mudblood_ in her anyway."

That was all it took. I flew forward, my wand pressed to his throat, my eyes ablaze with hate.

"Go ahead." I said furiously. "Say one more word about my parents."

I didn't have to turn around to know that both Dolohov and McNair's wands were pointed at me too. Not that it mattered much to me. So, what if they cursed me? As long as I got to shut up Rabastan it didn't matter.

But Rabastan only smiled. "You look darling when you're furious, Doe," He said flirtatiously. "Downright irresistible."

Annoyed, Antonin pointed his wand to my head and shouted "PETRIFICULUS TOT-"

" _What is going on here!_ "

A shrill voice behind us, stopped him in the middle of his hex. It was Frank Longbottom, a sixth year Gryffindor. My heart leapt at the sight of him. Glad to have someone else here to stop this before it got any more out of hand.

"Meadowes was trying to hex Lestrange," Antonin said quickly. "We were trying to stop it. What's it to you, Bloodtraitor?"

Franks' eyes narrowed. "Oh, it's all Meadowes fault, is it?" he asked Antonin coldly. "Because it looks like it's three on one to me. I think Professor Slughorn would probably see it that way too. Should I fetch him and find out? I'm sure the other houses would just love it if you lost points for Slytherin before term even started. Might even be a record."

Antonin dropped his wand, sneering at Frank. While I could hardly contain my affection for him. Without the wand pointed at me, I took a step away from Antonin. Rabastan's eyes were still locked on me as I walked back towards Frank.

"You alright?" Frank asked me quickly, his hand was placed firmly in his hand. Walden and Antonin kept eyeing it as if wondering they could take him. I knew they wouldn't dare try anything. Frank Longbottom was one of the best duelers in Gryffindor.

"I'm fine," I told him, not letting my hard, steely eyes drop from Rabastan.

Frank gave Rabastan and his friends a cold, withering stare. "Clear off, or I _will_ go fetch your Head of House."

Rabastan nodded and his friends followed him down the nearest staircases, heading towards the dungeons. "I'll see you around, Doe." He called before he disappeared. He said more like a threat than a greeting.

I shuddered as Frank and I climbed the nearest staircase to Gryffindor tower. I glowered at him, as he disappeared down towards the dungeons with his friends.

"What did I just walk in on?" Frank asked as we climbed. "How'd you manage to get into a fight with three Slytherins on the first night of term. That's usually more of a Sirius and James sort of thing."

"Oh god, Frank don't compare me to them," I groaned. Frank chuckled. "Sorry. It's just a little out of character for you, is all."

I shrugged. "Rabastan Lestrange makes a habit out of making my life miserable. So it's not out of character for him."

Frank shook his head. "Mind you I don't like any of those Slytherins very much, but that Rabastan bloke's a real git, huh?"

"Oh, you have no idea," I told him. "Anyway, thank you for your help. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't showed up."

Just the thought of it made me want to curl up and hide under the four-poster. I couldn't shake the way they had so easily talked about my parents, and insulted them, like they reveled in it.

"No problem," Frank assured me. "What are friends for if not to put the Slytherins in their place?"

The Fat Lady looked annoyed as we approached her portrait. She was running a heavy silver brush through her hair and sneered at us.

'You're late," she said. "I thought I was done for the evening."

Frank tried to offer her a charming smile. "Sorry, we ran into some trouble. Password's Prancing Pixies."

"How shocking," the Fat Lady said, opening and letting us crawl through the portrait hole into the common room. I could swear I heard her making some cheeky comment about us as the portrait whole swung shut behind us.

The common room wasn't crowded like usual. Only a few seventh years sat in the squishy armchairs by the fire. The rest of the house seemed to already be in their dormitories.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow, Frank. Thanks again," I told him.

"No problem, Doe. Good night."

I climbed the staircase to our dormitory quickly, two stairs at a time and was almost out of breath when I pushed open the door.

My five dorm mates were sitting on the four poster beds when I entered. Mary, Marlene and Lily were all clustered-on Lily's bed talking in quick earnest voices. When they saw me, they looked immediately relieved.

"There you are!" Lily said exasperated. "We were worried about you. You missed the first years seeing the common room for the first time. Mary and I were about to start a search party if you didn't show up soon."

"Sorry," I said darkly. "Rabastan Lestrange wanted to _say hello_."

Lily, Marlene and Mary seemed to understand exactly what I meant, having known about Rabatsan's behavior for years, but I didn't go into any more detail because our other dorm mates, Alice Fortescue and Rylie Fawcett were sitting on their beds eagerly listening. I liked Rylie and Alice quite a bit, but not enough to let them in on the disturbing details of Rabastan's obsession.

"What a git," Lily hissed quietly, as I took my normal bed between her and Marlene. "Did he try anything?"

"Doesn't he always?" Mary asked, her face filled with annoyance too. Mary hated the Slytherins more than any of us. They were always following her around, insulting her parentage.

Rylie's round face screwed up in confusion from across the room. "Rabastan Lestrange? Are you two friends?" She clutched her long plaits in surprise.

I shook my head. "No. I can't stand him."

"Did you hex him?" Marlene asked sitting on the edge of my bed. "No one would blame you if you did. In fact, most people would probably like you more."

I shook my head trying to keep my face from revealing the fear that still lingered from the encounter. "No, he tried to hex me, but Frank Longbottom stopped him before he got the chance."

"Frank did?" Alice asked excitedly. She stopped running the comb through her new, pixie cut. "That's so like him, helping someone out, like that."

Marlene gave her a sly smile. "So, are you and Longbottom together now, then?" she pried, in a way that only Marlene could.

Alice's entire face turned bright pink. "I don't know what you're talking about, Marlene. Frank and I are just good friends." She was avoiding everyone's eyes now. Rylie too was pink and chuckling at her best friend's obvious embarrassment.

"Oh, come on Alice," I teased. "Everyone knows he's crazy about you."

"It's obvious," Lily agreed.

"A howler is subtler," Mary added.

I had to bury my face in one of my pillows to keep from laughing.

Alice put her comb down on the nightstand climbed into bed, shaking her head fiercely. "You lot are crazier than Peeves. Frank doesn't like me like that."

Mary let out a low laugh. "Sure, and James Potter absolutely detests Lily."

"Hey!" Lily shouting, tossing her pillow at Mary. "Leave me out of this."

Now Alice was chuckling too, as Lily blushed in the corner. She couldn't deny how much James liked her even when she wanted too. It usually only started one of her long-winded diatribes about how arrogant and pompous he was.

"When are you ever going to give James Potter a chance?" Alice asked her dreamily. "You know he adores you."

Lily shook her head fiercely. "No way. I give everyone in this dorm full permission to drown me black lake if I ever agree to go out with James 'BigHeaded' Potter." She slammed her head down roughly on the pillow for emphasis.

"I'd like everyone to remember she said that," Marlene said extinguishing the light in the dorm. "We can add it to our toast at the Potter-Evans wedding."

"Marlene!" Lily chided.

In the dark dorm, every one of my dorm mates burst into laughter. I smiled as I closed my eyes listening to the sound, glad that after a terrible summer, I was back at Hogwarts. Back _home_.

I fell asleep, blissfully unaware of the terrifying and eventful year to come.


	2. The Fifth First Day

**Authors Note; I love reviews more than anything on the planet, so whether you think it's a work of art or complete rubbish, let me know.**

2

The Fifth First Day

 _The tiny kitchen was filled with bright, yellow light that ricocheted like rainbows off of Aurelia Greengrass-Meadowes' long pale-blond hair as she moved her wand back and forth in front of the pot of flowers in front of her. One simple non-verbal incantation and the pansy's doubled in size. Aurelia smiled and stroked the nearest one with pride. She always had been great with nonverbal spells. A comforting hand touched Aurelia's shoulder, as her husband Darius kissed his wife on the cheek. His sandy brown hair was still wet from his shower._

 _"_ _Good Morning, Love," he whispered._

 _"_ _Morning," she replied happily, her large eyes full of happiness._

 _Darius Meadowes turned to the kitchen table and smiled at his young daughter. The eleven-year-old witch looked exactly like her mother in miniature. There was hardly a single trace of him in her features, not that he minded. The young witch was twirling her new wand from Ollivander's with a careful, methodic wrist movement._

 _"_ _She looks exactly you when she does that," Aurelia told her husband. He chuckled. "Well, she's a Meadowes, isn't she? We're careful with our spells, we are."_

 _Aurelia and her husband wrapped their arms around one another and watched their daughter with pride._

 _"_ _Can you believe we made that?" Aurelia asked dreamily, dropping her head on Darius' shoulder._

 _"_ _Please don't be disgusting," Doe said, wrinkling her tiny nose, looking up from her wand for the first time all morning._

 _"_ _Disgusting?" Aurelia asked with a chuckle. "There's nothing disgusting about love, Dorcas. Don't ever forget that. This love made you, and it made your little brother."_

 _Aurelia's thin hand flew to the tiny bump on her stomach. Darius' beamed at her with pride._

 _"_ _I'm going to be at Hogwarts when he's born," Doe said frowning. "I won't even get to meet him until Christmas."_

 _"_ _It doesn't matter," Aurelia told her, "He will adore you just as much as we do."_

 _Doe beamed at her parents, as each one of them kissed her cheeks. They were -_

"Doe! Wake up Doe!"

My eyes shot open immediately, and my hands frantically clawed at my sides. It took me a minute to realize I was lying in my four-poster bed at Hogwarts, and not sitting in my parent's kitchen four years ago. The dream was so vivid, a perfect memory. Terrifyingly real.

Lily was sitting on the edge of my bed staring at me with a wide smile, blissfully unaware of the dream that still lingered in my head.

"Come on, wake up!" she said cheerfully, shaking my legs. "It's the first day of term!"

Across our dormitory there were groans of annoyance and exhaustion. I sat up and Lily moved from my bed to Marlene's, shaking her more forcefully than she had me.

"Marley," she said warningly. "We go over this every year. You can't sleep through breakfast or you'll be tired _and_ hungry."

Marlene pulled one of her pillows over her head. Her voice was muffled but still able to be heard. "Lily, shut up…"

"I second that," Alice called sleepily from her bed. Rylie let out a tiny moan of discomfort, and Mary's snoring could still be heard.

Lily stood at the front of Marlene's bed and crossed her arms in frustration. "Did you expect me to let you all sleep in and miss breakfast?"

Marlene groaned again loudly. Out of solidarity for Lily, I begrudgingly dragged myself out of bed and to the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, after several whines and Marlene's promise to hex Lily later, all six of us were out of bed and getting dressed. The room had soon become a flurry or grey uniform skirts, knee socks and striped scarlet ties, as everyone searched for the uniforms they hadn't worn in months.

"Is it too cold for knee socks or should I go with stockings?"

"Has anyone seen my tie? Dammit. This is one is blue. It's my sisters."

"Where are my robes?"

It took another ten minutes for everyone to finish getting dressed and head out of the dormitory, with Marlene still flawlessly applying mascara as she walked. Mary held her arm to steer down the turns of the staircase, still half-asleep. Rylie and Alice seemed to have caught Lily's enthusiasm and were skipping down the stairs arm in arm. Lily was busy half-braiding the front of her silky, scarlet hair, making me wish I had done something other than brush mine. As we climbed down the stairs, I couldn't help but feel like my skirt was shorter than usual, flipping up more at the ends than it normally did. Especially as I climbed through the portrait hole. I had forgone buying new uniform skirts this year before I only had the afternoon in Diagon Alley, and now was starting to regret it. What if I had gotten taller? The last thing I needed was a detention for improper uniform.

"Lily, does my skirt look too short to you?" I asked as we entered the great hall. Lily stopped and surveyed it for a moment, before giving a gentle shake of her head.

"It looks fine to me, but I've also been living with Marlene for five years, so I might be a little biased."

"Heard that!" Marlene called back cheekily, as we followed her into the Great Hall. The entire school seemed to be dressed and ready, crowded around their house tables enjoying the breakfast. As I took my seat, I saw the house elves had outdone themselves. Crepes, toast, sausages, eggs, potatoes, and waffles were lined up and down the table being shoveled onto plates. Lily and I took our seats and loaded our plates full of food. I was starving, and practically swallowed two pieces of toast whole.

"Where do you put that?" Mary asked in disbelief, as I reached for a third. "You're just like Marlene. You two could your weight in food and not gain a pound."

"I wish," Marlene hissed from her other side. "I'm going to gain ten pounds from Hogwarts food."

"If you complain about your appearance, Marlene," Hestia Jones said from further down the table, "I'll hex you myself. You look like a Gladrags ad every time you walk into the Great Hall."

Marlene beamed, "It's just because my mum doesn't cook at all, she could burn water. I got so skinny over the summer because of it."

"Careful, McKinnon" warned Marlene's older brother Landon, walking by. "Someone could overhear you and tell mum. Then we'll see who's the favorite."

Landon looked just like Carmichael and Marlene. Every single member of their family had the same sharp cheekbones and perfect honey colored hair. It was like each of the McKinnons was even prettier than the last.

"It would still be me, _McKinnon_ ," Marlene said smugly. "Melinda's too old. Myra's too bitchy, Meredith's too eccentric. Carmichael's too mean and you're an idiot. Mum will always love me best."

Landon rolled his eyes at his sister and shook his head. "An idiot with ten O. and Quidditch captain? Not likely, Marlene."

My eyes flew to the tiny Quidditch captain pin on the lapel of Landon's robes and smiled. Landon was a good, solid flier. If he was captain, we might do better than last year.

"You're Quidditch captain?" Mary asked, in a light, flirtatious voice. "Congratulations, Landon."

Landon beamed at her, his smile getting wider by the second. "Thanks, Mary." His eyes lingered on her a little longer than necessary. "How was your summer?"

Mary's dark eyes sparkled. "Pretty boring. Glad to be back here with you lot."

Landon ran his hand nervously over his neck. "Me too, love this castle."

"Do you need anything else, Landon?" Marlene asked, arching an eyebrow. Landon shot her a dirty look and walked away towards the other sixth years.

"Landon is so annoying," she complained, as he sat down.

Mary bit her lip, still watching him from her seat. "Cute, though."

Marlene balled up her napkin and tossed it at her. Mary ducked and it went crashing into the pile of waffles in front of Sturgis Podmore.

A flutter wings soon filled the air as a wave of owls blew through the open window, dropping letters and gifts in front of their recipients. A crisp copy of the prophet dropped into my lap and a tiny pink wrapped package fell into Lily's. I held the paper in my hands, glad to finally be in the know again. I could only get the prophet at Hogwarts.

"Aw, mum sent cookies," Lily said unwrapping them with a smile. "The note says they're from Petunia too. Right. Can she honestly think I'd believe that?"

Lily's face faltered a little, her mouth turning downwards sadly. I knew that look. It was the same one she had every time Petunia did or said something cruel to her. I gave her a comforting squeeze on the arm.

"Anything terrible happen?" Mary asked, looking over my shoulder at the front cover of the prophet. Today the headline was about Celestina Warbeck's new tour. I shook my head and Mary breathed a sigh of relief.

"McGonagall's coming," Marlene whispered, nodding her head forward. McGonagall was striding down the table handing all students 5th year and below, pre-printed schedules. She stopped to hand Rylie and Alice there's and then turned to the four of us with a small smile.

"Ladies, you're schedules," she said handing them out to us. Her eye's narrowed and her lips pursed as she reached up to hand out another stack.

"And to you, four, who can't seem to be on time," McGonagall snapped, thrusting four schedules into James Potter's waiting arms. James snickered as they took their seats at the table.

Marlene groaned the moment she looked at hers, and as I stared down at mine, I realized why. Divination, followed by History of Magic, Potions and Charms. Charms wasn't so bad but the other three were long, ardous and annoying. And to make matters worse, we didn't have Defense against the Dark Arts until tomorrow, which meant we'd have to hear all about Professor Marchbanks from everyone else first.

Lily and Mary, who took Ancient Runes instead of Divination looked relieved. From across the table, Remus sighed and Sirius was floored.

"Bloody hell, Minnie," he whined. "You couldn't have possibly given us a worse day back."

McGonagall pursed her lips. "Detention this Friday, Mr. Black."

Sirius only grinned. "I knew you missed me." McGonagall narrowed her eyes and strode away, looking as if it had taken all over her strength.

"One day, Sirius" Lily said warningly, "McGonagall is going to snap and murder you, and all I can say is that you will have deserved it."

"You're a little twisted, Evans," Sirius said quietly. "Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Once or twice a week."

James tried to lean over Lily's shoulder to get a peek at her schedule, but Lily was faster than he was, snatching it from the table and jumping from her seat. "Nice try, Potter. The last thing I need is you knowing where I am all of the time."

"Little does she know, huh Messrs?" Sirius said nudging Remus in the shoulder. Remus' eyes widened and James gave Sirius a dirty look.

"What?" Marlene asked.

"Nothing," Sirius said quickly, reading the concern on the other marauder's faces. I stared at them as Lily gathered her stuff from the table. They were obviously talking about something. I could see it on their faces. Then I shook my head, I'd drive myself barmy trying to figure out what the marauders were up too. It was best to just leave it alone.

I followed Lily and the others out of the Great Hall and back to the dormitory, gathering the books we needed for the day. _The Dream Oracle_ was at the bottom of my trunk and took almost ten minutes to find. Marlene couldn't find her copy and spent three minutes throwing everything in her trunk onto the floor before realizing Rylie's cat had drug it under her bed.

By the time we left Gryffindor tower and started the trek to North Tower, we were running late. We had to run full speed, with our robes billowing behind us. We almost knocked over a group of first-year Hufflepuffs as we reached the ladder.

"Agrippa it's hot in here," I said as we climbed into the divination classroom.

Marlene nodded and wrinkled her nose. "Honestly. And what is that smell?" The air was full of a thick, perfumy mixture of tea, roses and some sort of burning leaves.

Most of the class was already seated around the tiny tables, sitting on fluffy little poufs, waiting for Professor Tellweather to emerge from his office. The Ravenclaws all looked bored and slightly annoyed. Most of them only took divination because the other choices weren't as interesting, but very few students had the patience for Professor Tellweather's constant ramblings about our futures.

"Nice skirt, Meadowes," Sirius commented as we passed the Marauders table, to the only empty one. I sighed, knowing that if Sirius was commenting on it, it was too short. Marlene let out a little giggle as we took seats next to Alice and Rylie.

"Good morning, Students," Professor Tellweather said emerging from his office, "I'm so glad to see everyone has returned to us, for yet another year."

He wasn't that old, but he had shaved all of his hair, and it made him appear older than he was. Long wooden-bead necklaces hung from his thin neck, contrasting against his velvet, turquoise robes. His stare was intense as he greeted some of his favorite students personally.

"To start the year," Professor Tellweather said clapping his hands together, "I'd like you all to use the Dream Oracle to interpret the other's latest dreams."

Begrudgingly, I flipped the book open to the page, and found the complicated chart of common dream themes and their meanings. According to the book, Marlene's recent dream about a fight with her sister Myra meant she was destined for greatness and mine about being late to class meant I'd be faced with a terrible secret. Marlene snorted when she read mine and got a harsh look from Rylie, who actually seemed to enjoy divination.

As we wrote down the meaning, Professor Tellweather walked around and read them over our shoulders.

"Greatness," he smiled at Marlene's paper and then looked to mine. " A horrible secret?" he read. "Yours or anothers?"

"It didn't say," I told him honestly.

He shook his head. "No child, it wouldn't, but what did you _see?_ "

I didn't know how to answer. I didn't see anything. But I also didn't want to listen to Professor Tellweather go on and on for the next hour about how to advance my pulsating aura into the beyond, so I closed my eyes and pretended to channel the inner eye. Alice could hardly contain her laughter when she saw me place my hand over my heart.

"Another's secret, Professor," I guessed.

Professor Tellweather clapped his hands together, gleefully. "Yes, yes! You're seeing straight into the beyond, aren't you? Perhaps there is a Seer in our midst's."

"Or a very convincing guesser," Alice whispered as Professor Tellweather slipped away to another table.

"That man is off his rocker," I whispered to Marlene. "A seer? Puh-lease. I can't even guess what they're serving for breakfast.

"He's definitely a bit barmy," Marlene agreed. "I'd have dropped divination years ago, but Runes didn't sound any better."

I flipped through the dream charts again and we spent most of the next hour listening in as Peter told Sirius, James and Remus a very animated story about the dream he had the night before where he was trapped in a hamster ball that was being kicked around the potions dungeon by Professor Slughorn.

"Do you ever think that Peter is just making stuff up sometimes?" Marlene asked me as we climbed down the ladder. "You know, just to appease James and Sirius?"

"Isn't that all Peter does?" I said, being extra careful to not to slip as we jumped down onto the corridor below. "I mean sure he's a nice bloke and all, but no one ever really knows why they keep him around. He's not particularly handsome, or smart. Or funny even. The rest of them they've at least got something to offer."

Marlene arched an eyebrow as we walked to History of Magic. "I thought, you thought, they were just as annoying as Lily does."

"No one could find them as annoying as Lily does," I reminded her. "They just….I don't know…irk me? I know you find them charming, but they just rub me the wrong way."

Marlene shrugged. "I've known James since I was little. He's lives like four houses down from me, so there was really no avoiding him. We grew up in the same pureblood playpen. And you know, the second he met Sirius they were joined at the hip."

"Talking about me, McKinnon?" Sirius asked, from his desk. He had only caught the last part of our conversation as we walked into the classroom. It was hardly telling, but Marlene still flushed a little. I could see her eyes moving too quickly trying to process a witty comeback and failing, and as much as I disliked Sirius, I didn't want Marlene to be upset.

"I think you may be imagining things, Black," I told him. "Your name is an adjective, afterall"

Sirius stared back at me and then gave James a knowing look. "Are you really in the place to judge about names?" He asked me, "Your first and last are nouns."

I rolled my eyes. "Well next time I hear you talking about a female deer or a piece of grassland, I won't be as self-absorbed as you, now will I?"

James laughed so hard his feet fell off the desk and Marlene's blush completely disappeared. We walked away before they could say anything else. Marlene joined Mary at their usual desk and I went to sit by Lily.

"I had to pay James five Galleons not to sit there," Lily told me when I took my seat. "It's a little depressing that's all I'm worth to him."

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," I told her. "You know he wanted to sit with Sirius anyway. I reckon he would have moved without the bribe."

Lily frowned. "Well that makes me feel worse. I shouldn't have wasted the gold." I chuckled. "Anyway, how was divination?"

"Uneventful."

"Did you lie?"

"Is there any other way to pass divination?"

She shrugged. "I don't know why you didn't take Ancient Runes. You'd have been really good at it."

"Divination is easier than runes, and I couldn't have taken Care of Magical Creatures if I took runes."

"That's true. Ugh" Lily wiped the back of her chair and found several tiny balls of parchment stuck in it. Across the room, James was enchanting them to land in her hair and having a laugh about it.

"Did you hear about Della Templeton?" Lily asked me quickly. When I shook my head, her eyes widened. "Oh. She got an owl in Potions this morning that her younger brother has dragon pox. Can you believe it? He's barely three!"

"That's horrible. How'd you find out about that?" I asked her.

Lily bit her bottom lip. "I ran into her in the corridor and she told me all about it. Poor thing was dying to talk to someone about it, and I was just sort of there."

"And people adore you," I reminded her.

Lily waved me off, but a tiny smile stayed on her lips throughout the entire lesson. Professor Binns didn't seem to acknowledge that it was only the first day back. He launched straight into the topic of Giant Wars, detailing very specific and intricate details. It was dull and very hard to stay on track. Both Lily and I did are best to pay attention and take notes, but Professor Binn's monotone, drawling voice had a way of lulling us into day-dreams. Eventually the scratching of our quills stopped and Mary and Marlene took to playing tic-tac-toe on spare pieces of parchment. By the end of the period, only the Ravenclaws were still taking diligent notes, and even they looked relieved when class was over.

Most of lunch was spent complaining about the uneventful morning and listening to the other students who had had more productive mornings. Sturgis Podmore told a very animated story about McGonagall's morning sixth year class and how after Cessa Urquart singed off both of her eyebrows for third time, it put McGonagall in a terrible mood.

The other talk of lunch was about Professor Marchbanks. The only people who had already had her were the seventh and second years, and all they would say about her is that she was stern, but much more powerful than she looked. The seventh years had bragged that their first lesson was one of the most interesting they had ever had. Marlene groaned in annoyance when she realized we wouldn't have her until the following afternoon.

We headed to Potions in a marginally better mood after having been fed. The chill from the dungeons seemed to permeate the happiness we felt at lunch, and with every step down the staircase, we seemed to feel more dread. I wondered how the Slytherins could stand to have their common room down here. Every inch of Gryffindor tower was bright, and warm. I'd go nuts if I had to live like this all of the time.

The corridor outside of the Potions classroom was lined with both Gryffindors and Slytherins, the latter looking at the former with disdain. Potions was insufferable enough for most of us without having to share it with the Slytherins.

"Hey Sev!" Lily waved brightly to the hook-nosed Slytherin. His face grew quite pale as he waved to her, not moving away from his usual band of cronies. Whenever he wasn't off with Lily, Severus was usually trailing around behind Sebastian Mulciber and Elijah Wilkes. Today, however he seemed to be more popular among his house mates. Jonas Avery and Evan Rosier had joined them, each of them casting a darker look at Lily. I felt an immediate desire to pull Lily back away from her emerald-clad friend and all his little gang, but knew it would be no use. Lily trusted Severus. She didn't think he would ever hurt her. I wasn't so sure. James Potter rolled his eyes as he watched her greet Severus. Marlene wore a similar expression.

"Goody," Marlene whispered under her breath, "Slytherins." She cast a particularly angry glance at Narcissa Black. Narcissa bent her head to whisper something into Elizabeth Burke's ear, and they both made the same hideously snarky expression. Marlene didn't look away from them. She stared back instead. her bow lips pulling into a thin line.

"What are you looking at, Bloodtraitor?" Elizabeth asked coldly. She had the air of confidence of someone who had grown up pretty and wealthy, with the security of being pureblood. Unfortunately for her, Marlene had grown up the same way and didn't back down from her withering gaze.

"I'm not looking at anything particularly interesting," Marlene snapped, hand on her hip.

"What is it with you Gryffindors," Tracey sneered. "You think so highly of yourselves." Her eyes drifted from Marlene to Lily and then the marauders. Only Caradoc Dearborn seemed to be spared from her wandering evil eye.

"Us?" I demanded, furiously. "We're not the one's running around announcing our blood content every five minutes."

Narcissa threw me a cold, ugly smile. "Well you couldn't, could you? You're all a bunch of blood-traitors and mudbloods."

Lily and Mary's face's both drained of color immediately. The use of that word had an instantaneous effect, everyone in corridor seemed immediately enraged.

"How dare you?" Lily snapped directly at Narcissa. "That's a disgusting thing to say."

"What? Are you offended?" Narcissa sneered, her pale face twisting maniacally. "It's not my fault that you've got such dirty blood."

Severus' face grew even paler as his eyes darted back and forth from Lily to his Slytherin friends, his allegiance wavering with every second. His desire to fit in with his house mates clearly outweighing his desire to defend Lily.

"Alright, watch it," James snapped from his place on the wall.

"Honestly, Narcissa," Sirius said coolly, his wand dancing through his fingers. "You're starting to sound just as nutty as Aunt Walburga."

I had forgotten Sirius and Narcissa were cousins. They spent so little time together and seemed too different. Even imagining the two of them sitting around a Christmas table seemed strange.

"What would you know about our family?" Narcissa pressed. "You're too busy running around with the likes of these people." She stuck her nose high in the air.

"Better than stuck in a house like yours," I said through clenched teeth. Elizabeth returned it with such a scathing glance, my hand flew to my wand pocket.

"Ah, good afternoon at my young pupils!" Professor Slughorn said rounding the corner, blissfully unaware of the tension that had started building in the corridor. He unlocked the classroom jollily and slowly everyone followed him behind into the classroom.

"Sit with me, quickly," Marlene said grabbing my arm and dragging me to the nearest double desk. "Lily always sits with Severus in potions and I will throw myself off the astronomy tower if I get stuck sitting next to Caradoc Dearborn for another entire year."

"Ever think you're too harsh on poor Caradoc?" I asked her. "Imagine having to live in the same dorm as the marauders."

Marlene scrunched her nose in disgust. "Still. He's dreadfully boring."

Lily and Severus seemed to ignore the building and palpable tension between the Slytherins and Gryffindors and still took their usual seats at the double desk up front. Slughorn made a big production over the two of them, going on and on about how they were two of the best potion-makers he had ever had the pleasure of teaching. Marlene pretended to vomit into her cauldron, which to her delight, made Sirius and James chuckle.

The class was long and exhausting. We were doing the Draught of Peace, and Marlene spent most of it gossiping over the boiling cauldron while I did my best to cut mandrake roots evenly. It took us the better part of an hour to get the potion to look bright blue. Meanwhile, Severus and Lily's was the perfect shade of light turquoise as described in the textbook. Slughorn spent fifteen minutes praising them for it, and they both wore looks of pure pride as he did.

In charms, we reviewed summoning charms and most of the class had gotten the hang of it by the end, but Sirius and James lost ten points each when they kept summoning Bertram Aubrey's quills out of his backpack. Remus looked slightly annoyed and Peter giggled uncontrollably. Lily, Mary, Marlene and I watched them slightly bored as we had already mastered the spell. When it ended, we got up to leave, ready to lounge in the common room and bask until the day was over.

"I am so glad this day is over," Mary said flinging her bag onto our desk. "Anyone else fancy a game of exploding snap?"

"Only if you're ready to lose," Lily teased. We headed for the door, as Lily and Mary happily trash-talked about exploding snap.

"Ms. Meadowes if you could hold on for a moment?" Professor Flitwick called from the front of the room. "I need a moment to speak with you privately.

"Uh oh," Marlene teased under her breath. "What did you do?"

I rolled my eyes at her, but I couldn't help but feel an ominous sense of dread.

"Ignore her," Lily said quietly. "We'll catch up with you in the in the common room."

My friends disappeared through the door, giving Professor Flitwick and I a moment of privacy.

"Thank you, Ms. Meadowes. I had something I wanted to ask you," Professor Flitwick said clapping his tiny hands together.

Now I was a little intrigued. "Of course, Professor. Anything you need."

Flitwick beamed. "Excellent. I knew I could count on you. I was wondering Ms. Meadowes if you wouldn't mind doing a bit of tutoring this year. You've always done very well in charms, and this particular student needs someone who is very good."

This didn't seem particularly strange. Professor Flitwick had asked me to tutor students loads of time before, and it was never usually this cloak and dagger. It made me wonder who it was.

Flitwick continued, "It would only be a couple of times a week, Tuesday and Thursday afternoons before dinner, I would just need you to go over what we've learned during the week and possibly help with the homework. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of making sure you weren't in Gobstones club, as I know they do meet at that time. Would this work for you?"

I never minded tutoring, and Professor Flitwick had always been very kind to me. Outside of Professor McGonagall, he was probably my favorite teacher.

"Sure, Professor," I nodded. "Of course, I'll do it."

Professor Flitwick looked delighted. "I was pretty sure that was the answer. You have always been very reliable. Now, I have already told Mr. Black about the arrangement, and he'll be meeting you in the library tomorrow afternoon."

"Mr. Black?" I repeated, my eyebrow raised. "But Professor, you don't mean Sirius?"

"Why yes, I do."

My eyes blinked quickly, unable to understand what he meant. In what world would Sirius Black need tutoring in charms?

"Professor, I don't understand. Sirius is.." I struggled to find the right words, desperately not wanting to use the ones I did know. I sighed and finished. "Well, he's brilliant, isn't he? I don't know what I could teach him."

As much as I hated to admit it, because of his arrogance and bravado, Sirius was one of the brightest students in the year. With the exception of Peter, all of the marauders were exceptionally gifted. There was never a year where Sirius and I weren't fighting for the top defense grade, and most of the time, he won.

"Be that as it may, Ms. Meadowes, Mr. Black lacks proper motivation. It doesn't matter how talented or gifted someone is if they don't practice. And especially as it is O.W.L year, I'd rather like to make sure he passes."

I almost wanted to laugh. The idea that I could do anything to motivate Sirius Black was laughable. If Remus couldn't do it in five years, I doubted I would be able to do anything.

"And you're sure I should be the one to do it?" I asked weakly. "I mean Remus might have more luck getting him to listen, or Lily she's a prefect."

Professor Flitwick offered me a friendly smile. "The matter was discussed with Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall, both of whom seemed to think you would be best, considering your marks. Professor Dumbledore was also under the impression that Mr. Black would have a harder time slacking off around you."

Right, because I was a hard-ass. Sirius wouldn't be able to charm me the way he did everyone else. I almost snorted imagining Marlene trying to get Sirius to focus on learning charms.

"However, if you don't wish to do it, I suppose I could always ask someone else."

I shook my head vigorously, hating the look of disappointment Flitwick gave me. "No, I'll do it. It just caught me off guard is all."

"Excellent. Thank you Ms. Meadowes. I hope this works out well."

"Uh… me too, I guess."

I left the Charms classroom at a crossroads. I couldn't say no to Professor Flitwick, especially not when he asked me specifically, but I would rather take double divination than spend any _more_ time with Sirius Black. And why were they under the impression that I would be able to do anything? Sirius didn't let anyone tell him what to do, let alone me. We weren't even friends.

There was no way this was going to work. It was going to be exhausting. Suddenly, I was dreading the next day.


	3. Charming Aint Easy

**Authors Note: Yay, I'm having so much fun writing this. If you're seeing it and like it (or absolutely hating it), please let me know with a review. Thanks, and enjoy!**

3

Charming Aint Easy

"Now honestly," Professor McGonagall chided, "You're fifth years. This should all be review."

It was our first Transfiguration lesson of the year and everyone seemed to be having trouble changing their chairs into tables. Professor McGonagall looked thoroughly disappointed as she walked around the room, looking at the clusters of untransfigured chairs.

"Curifurius," I said, pointing my wand at the chair in front of me. It wobbled feebly and one of the legs fell off it. I frowned at it. Beside me Lily tried too and all hers did was shake violently. She crossed her arms in frustration.

"Curifurius!" James said from across the room. His armchair folded itself into a small circular table. He was the first one to master it all morning.

"Ten points to Gryffindor, Potter. Excellent work," McGonagall said observing the table happily. She gave it a good prod with her wand and when it didn't change, she even smiled.

"How is he so good at that?" Lily demanded, staring at her shaking chair. She looked at James' perfect table with pure contempt.

"Everyone's got to be good at something, Lily," I told her. "Transfiguration is James' strong suit." James was still grinning at his table fondly, running his hands messily through his hair. "Want some help, Evans?" he called over Rylie and Alice's table. "I'll give you a great price, one date this weekend."

"Sod off Potter," Lily snapped back. James only winked and turned back to Remus and Sirius. I had to admire his dedication if nothing else. He never seemed willing to give up on Lily.

Lily tried the spell again and this time the chair sneezed.

"Maybe James could tutor you," I suggested with a giggle.

Lily gave me a pointed look. "Don't even joke about something like that, and speaking of tutoring, looking forward to your afternoon session with Sirius?"

I sighed. I had told my friends what Flitwick asked me to do yesterday as soon as I got back to the common room. Mary and Lily had found it just as ridiculous and I had, and Marlene told me she'd have given her right arm to have regularly scheduled alone time with Sirius.

"Not even a little," I told her. "I've been avoiding Sirius since I found out."

"You won't be able to avoid it forever," Lily warned. "You'll see him later today."

"Unless he gets another detention or something. Any chance my prefect best mate could do something about that?"

"I can't give out detentions, only take away points."

"Well then I guess I don't have a way out of it, do I?"

There was a loud crash of splintering wood on the stone floor and everyone looked up to find Peter's chair had completely exploded across the classroom. He stared blank faced at it, his wand still jabbing in the air furiously.

" _Honestly Pettigrew!"_ McGonagall chided shrilly. "Can you do _anything_ that requires a wand?"

Lily shook her head. "How Peter ever ended up in Gryffindor is a wonder to me. He's got Hufflepuff written all over him."

"Not all Hufflepuffs are duffers," I reminded her. "Amelia Bones is a Hufflepuff and she's head of the Charms club. And Amos Diggory is only a fifth year and already captain of the Quidditch team."

"No of course I wasn't saying all of them, but some are, and Peter is one of those." Lily corrected. "Like well you know Reggie Cattermole."

Reggie Cattermole spent more time than anyone else in our year in the Hospital Wing. He could hardly make it through a Charms class without accidently magicking off a finger.

"True. Merlin, McGonagall's hard on him, though?" I said, nodding towards the two of them. Peter was pink and staring down at his wand, as McGonagall gave him a detention. Beside them, Alice was repairing his broken armchair, throwing him sympathetic glances, he couldn't see.

"Yeah. I suspect she's a tad put out. Peter's always breaking things, even his own wand. Remember that time in third year?"

"Yeah he almost took out Mary's eye."

"Exactly my point."

The Ravenclaws had started to get the hang of the spell and all across the room, chairs were sprouting into nightstands and coffee tables. Barty Crouch Jr. had managed to turn his chair into a full-sized dining room table and Rolanda Hooch's was an ornately carved teat table. My eyes drifted to where Sirius and James shared a table with Remus and Peter. Marlene had drifted over there and Sirius was showing her how to hold her hand to better master the spell. His hand rested on top of hers for a touch longer than necessary and made the smile stretch even further across her mouth. It was strange just how much Marlene seemed to be interested in him this year. If only she was good at charms, then she could tutor Sirius herself and I wouldn't have too. Sirius looked up, noticed me staring and raised an eyebrow. I turned back down to the chair in front of me, slightly pink, embarrassed he had caught me watching. Lily was still huffing, angrily pointing her wand at the unchanged chair in front of her.

McGonagall cast one more disappointed look across the room. "Your homework for tonight is to master this spell."

"And I don't want a single broken chair in the common room!" she added crossly, as everyone began to pack up to leave.

Marlene and Mary caught up with us as we headed our trek down to Greenhouse four. This was the class I had been dreading the most since getting back. I was absolute rubbish at Herbology, and while most of the school regarded it as one of the easier subjects, I struggled with it every year. I didn't seem to have the eye or spell work necessary to work with plants, and every year they got more violent and dangerous.

Marlene and Lily sneaked into the greenhouse and took our usual table at the back. It was far enough away from the other tables that we were usually able to talk without being overheard.

"Hey there stranger," A chipper voice said beside me. "Haven't seen you around in a while."

I turned to see a pretty freckle-faced Hufflepuff with strawberry blonde curls with her hands on her hips, giving me a knowing look.

"Amelia!" I said pulling her into a tight hug. She let out a little laugh. "I see you _did_ miss me, then. I'll try not to take personal offense that you didn't stop by Hufflepuff table this morning to say hello."

I frowned sheepishly. "Sorry. I forgot. I've been rubbish at everything lately."

"Don't worry. All is forgiven," Amelia said brushing me off. "Good to see you too, Lily."

Lily beamed at Amelia. "You too! Congrats on your brother getting Head Boy."

"Perfect Edgar, no shock there," Amelia said rolling her eyes. "That boy is making it very hard for me to be perfectly average."

"Average," I snorted. "You?"

Amelia waved me off with her hand. "Anyway, how was your summer? You never write to me when you're with that aunt of yours."

Lily's eyes flickered to me for a moment and then she headed off towards the table, with the others. Amelia, like everyone else, didn't know the truth about my summers, and Lily obviously didn't want to give anything away she wasn't supposed too.

I felt a little guilty lying to Amelia too. "I was just busy, you know. I promise I'll write more in the future."

"You better," Amelia said, doing an incredible impression of Professor McGonagall. "Anyway, I'd better go, the lesson's about to start and if I don't hurry, Odie Macmillan will take the good clippers. We should do something this weekend, okay?"

"Definitely," I told her. Amelia beamed and headed back over to the other Hufflepuffs, while I joined my friends at our table. Lily didn't say a word about the Amelia situation, but did give me a comforting shoulder squeeze.

Today's lesson was starting to clip a tiny seedling of Devil's snare. The nasty, black vine kept curling around the bottom of the pot, hissing at anyone who dared come near it. Mary had to use both hands to hold down it while it spit at her like a violent snake. I kept a good distance away from the plant, preferring to take notes.

"So," Lily started as Marlene clipped the end of the devil's snare. "I see you and Black are getting cozy, aren't you?"

Marlene's wide eyes flashed upward immediately, and she dropped the clippers from her hands with a loud thud. "What do you mean?"

I had to jump forward to grab them before the pelted Mary in the foot. The tentacle of devil's snare shot back into the bottom of the pot, curling up in disgust.

Lily looked around to make sure no one was looking at us and then cast muffliato, casting a permanent silencing charm around us so we couldn't be overheard.

"What I mean is that I happened to notice Sirius' hand lingering on yours a bit when showing you the wand movement," Lily said copying down a diagram of the plant.

"He did not," Marlene said shaking her head. "As much as I'd like to think he did. I overheard James telling Remus that Sirius spent half the night in a broom closet with that Hufflepuff _tart_ Scarlet Kellman."

"On the first night back?" I asked in disbelief. "Doesn't waste any time, does he?"

"Guess not," Lily said, looking over to the Marauder's table, where the four of them were taking turns shooting sparks from their wands at the plant in front of them. "I don't know how Sirius hasn't run out with girls yet. He's had to have been throught half the year by now."

"And the younger years," Mary added. "Amy Bentworth's only a fourth year has been obsessed with him since she got here."

"But Sirius hasn't ever gone out with her has he?" Lily asked.

Mary shook her head. "No way. That bird's barmy. I think Peter took her to Hogsmeade once last year, but he told me all she did was ask about Sirius."

"Well Peter should have realized that," I said shaking my head. "She's always been a bit off, Amy has."

Marlene shrugged. "Anyway, I've already asked Baxter Thornbottle to go out this weekend. I figured that should get his attention. He detests Thornbottle ever since he shot a bludger at him during that Quidditch game last year, and then next weekend I think I'll go out with Damocles Belby. You know that Ravenclaw that's always asking me out? He's cute enough to work."

"Not that I'm judging," Mary started, "But if you like Sirius, why are you planning on tarting around the castle. Couldn't you just ask him out? It's not as if he'd say no to someone who looks like you."

Marlene snorted. "This is Sirius Black we're talking about, Mary. It's not as if he and I are going to be holding hands down Hogsmeade. You don't ask out Sirius Black. He's who you call when you want to shag something gorgeous. I have to make him want me, and they way to do that is to appear as uninterested as possible. I'll shag half of Hogwarts if I have too."

"Even Dearborn?" Lily asked, giggling.

"If I have too, but Agrippa I hope that's not the case."

Nothing aggravated me more than the fact that Marlene felt she had to date half the year to get Sirius' attention, but I kept my mouth firmly shut. I had learned that with Marlene, she had to make her own mistakes. She never took advice from anyone once she had made up her mind. Lily looked at me behind Marlene's head, giving me a look as if to remind me of this fact.

Mary shook her head. "I don't know that seems a little counter-productive to me, but if that's how you want to approach it, be my guest."

Marlene nodded firmly. "It is."

"Then lets all hope that Marlene doesn't have to shag Dearborn, yeah?" I suggested. Marlene beamed. "I'd appreciate that."

Lily's eyes widened and she cast the countercharm to Muffliato immediately. Professor Sprout was making her way down the aisle, and approaching our table.

"Morning girls," she said happily. She looked down at our plant, and our perfect notes and diagram. "That looks excellent. Too bad you seemed to have a particularly nasty tentacle, don't you?"

The tentacle was now spitting from the inside of the pot again. When Professor Sprout touched it, it seemed to calm slightly but still looked terrifying for something so small.

"Excellent clipping work Ms. Macdonald, yes and that diagram looks exactly right, Ms. Evans."

it looked like it was trying to wrap it's other end around Mary's, squeezing it. I shuddered.

"Ms. Meadowes, have you touched this plant at all since the lesson began?" Professor Sprout asked knowingly. She knew first-hand how terrible I was at Herbology, having witnessed first-hand all of the accidents and injuries I had caused in the Greenhouses.

My cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. "Well, no, Professor. I was…uh…mostly taking notes."

Professor Sprout sighed, wiping her hands on her patchwork witches' hat. She looked down at the notes. "At least those seem to be in order."

She gave me a disapproving look. "You know with a name like Meadowes, you'd think you ought to have more of a green thumb."

"Isn't your mums surname Green _grass_ too?" Marlene whispered, chuckling. I ignored her.

I gave Professor Sprout a sympathetic smile. "I tend to prefer the plants that don't strangle people to death, Professor." Behind her, the devil's snare had successfully managed to squeeze Mary's quill into a pile of wood dust and feathers.

"Well my dear, it shows. Very surprising, your mother was always very talented with plants, your father too. I suppose you don't get very much practice at-" Professor Sprout stopped immediately, realizing she had almost said too much. Her face turned white as she noticed the look on my face. All of the Professors knew what had happened to my parents and where I spent my summers. "Well, continue on ladies," Professor Sprout curtly, turning on her heels to Pandora Rabnott and Charity Burbage's table, where there plant was snoozing, and looking very docile in it's pot. I could still feel my heart racing. Thank Merlin that had happened around Lily and the others, and not someone else. I couldn't even imagine the hell on earth that my life would become if Elizabeth Burke or Rabastan Lestrange found out where I spent my summers.

Marlene led out a low chuckle, "Ha! You scared her away with your orphan-dom."

"Seriously, Marlene?" Lily asked, nudging her in the ribs.

"What? She should use it more often. I bet it would even work on Slughorn."

Lily was watching me as if she expected me to burst into tear at any moment. I gave her a gentle shake of my head to let her know I was fine. Enough time had passed that I didn't let slip-ups like that bother me anymore. I only ever really felt the weight of my parent's deaths when I had dreams about them.

The plant in front of us spit at me again, and tried to reach for Lily's quill. Lily yanked it out of reach, eyeing the plant darkly.

"I hate Herbology," I muttered miserably.

"It seems to hate you right back," Mary said, as the plant tangles itself in a lock of my hair. Marlene had to beat it back with the clippers. I avoided the pot for the rest of the lesson.

The rest of the day passed by very quickly. At lunch, Amos Diggory stopped by the table to tell Lily he liked her hair in a plait, and it caused her to be in a fantastic mood for the rest of the meal. Ten minutes later, Amos' fork kept being magically summoned from his hand, no matter how tightly he clutched it. Mary and I were pretty sure we saw James Potter's wand moving under the table, but didn't say anything to Lily in case it started another row between her and James.

I could feel my excitement bubbling over as we got closer to our first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson. The older students had said that Professor Marchbanks was a highly qualified teacher and it had been quite a few years since we had someone that we actually like that teaching the subject. The anticipation I felt about the class was even dimming the aggravation I felt over having tutor Sirius later.

I had a hunch the lesson was going to be a good one when we all made our way to the classroom and found the desks cleared away, and an ornate note written on the board in chalkboard;

Wands out, Books Away

A practical? My heart rose in my chest. Practical lessons were always fantastic fun. We had rarely had them over the last few years and definitely not ever on a first day.

Professor Marchbanks very straight beside her chalkboard, watching us as we grouped together. We shared Defense with the Slytherins, and a very clear line separated us from them as we stood in front of Professor Marchbanks. Even Lily and Snape didn't acknowledge one another. Their friendship was always a testy one. Potions was the only class I ever saw them sit willingly with each other in, probably because Slughorn was so supportive of their friendship. The marauders were the last ones to file into the room, looks of pure elation crossing their faces as they did.

When they entered, Professor Marchbanks gave a wave of her wand and the large oak door slammed closed.

"Good Afternoon, Students," she said firmly. "Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am Professor Marchbanks. I know you have had many different teachers in the subject, and as such your education has been rather fragmented. I am here to help catch you all up on what you have missed, and to prepare you for your O. this year. Now this won't be easy. You will have to work very hard and so will I, but if you do, I think we will find that this year will be a very fun and productive one."

There was a rumbling of concern among the students in front of her. All everyone had heard since the feast was how dreadfully hard fifth year would be with the upcoming exams. No one relished the idea of having even more work to do. Especially in a subject that everyone liked as much as defense.

"Now," she said gathering everyone's attention. "I thought that today would be an excellent day to have a practical. The concept might be review for some of you, but I think everyone will find this way of reviewing, very….. _engaging._ " A small smile lingered on Professor Marchbanks' tiny face. She straightened her fuchsia robes. She withdrew her wand from her pocket and cast a nonverbal spell. A thick silvery line appeared on the floor, separating the Gryffindors and Slytherins.

"Form two groups please, Yes Gryffindors on one side, Slytherins on the other. Very good."

When everyone was properly sorted, she turned back to us.

"Alright. Today we will be practicing the shield charm; _Protego._ When cast correctly, the shield charm should protect the caster from any common jinxes or hexes. Of course, it is useless against the unforgivable curses or any sort of dark magic, however it is a damn handy spell, and for our purposes it will serve us perfectly

Now, in order to properly produce a shield charm, a certain level of pressure and risk is needed. So, today I will have you duel one another. Slytherins versus the Gryffindors. You will attempt to jinx members of the opposite house, while they attempt to shield it. Once you have been jinxed, please step aside I will relieve your jinx and you may watch. The final person who remains unjinxed will win a prize."

Every single fifth year in the room looked immediately more interested. Of course, any sort of competition in a class, kept them interested, but a prize? Now everyone was determined to win.

"Whatever it is, she might as well hand it to you now, huh?" Lily muttered happily.

I couldn't contain the smile that had appeared at her words. Defense was the class I was best at, probably because I had practiced it the most. But I wasn't necessarily the best in the class. Remus and Sirius always gave me a run for my money. Our marks were always within points of one another. It was a toss-up who was better. Snape was pretty good too, but I always felt he focused a little too much on the _Dark Arts_ part, and not very much on the _Defense._

"It should go without saying," Professor Marchbanks began, "That there will be no use of curses, hexes, or dark magic of any kind. Any student found using them will receive an immediate detention. I want to keep this clean." I was sure I didn't imagine the look she gave the Slytherins.

"Ready yourselves," Professor Marchbanks ordered. "You will begin on my count."

There was a shuffle as everyone left their bags and books in the corners of the room and reached into their pockets for their wands. I weighed my wand carefully in my right hand, a smile drifting across my face. Any defense lesson where I was a _llowed_ to jinx Slytherins was already a favorite of mine. I decided to go ahead and like Professor Marchbanks. She had moxey.

We lined up in front of the Slytherins, and I ended up directly in front of Elizabeth Burke. Of course. Of all the Slytherins. I readied myself.

"Alright," Professor Marchbanks started. "Ready? Begin!"

The classroom immediately became a flurry of chants of spells and flashes of light. I had a sinking suspicion that Elizabeth was not the kind to start with a shield charm, and was right.

The Shield charm had barely left my lips when she shot a jelly-legs jinx at me, sneering as she did.

My shield charm worked, but just barely. I felt the spell stretch out around me, and watched her spell bounce off of it, but I swear I could feel my legs shake a little, as if they had caught the tiniest amount of the jinx anyway. Still, not bad for my first time. I shot back a dancing feet jinx, that Elizabeth ducked to avoid, obviously forgetting the point of the lesson was to practice shield charms. She shot another jelly-legs jinx and this time my shield charm completely reflected it. I smirked at her. Marlene swore loudly from beside me, and I saw her out of the corner of my eye, bubbles pouring out of her mouth. She stomped off towards the side of the room, impatiently. I saw Lily take a second from dueling Jonas Avery, to shake her head. Marlene was a self-admitted, terrible dueler, and always had been.

Beside me, Zinnia Flint had hit Caradoc Dearborn with a trip jinx, and Thomas Nott was moving to the side of the room, with leeks sprouting from his ears. Mary and Rylie were both sporting boils and Peter's ears had grown to three times their normal size. I shielded another jinx from Elizabeth and shot a toe biter jinx at her. This one went straight through her shoddy shield charm, and she let out a tiny shriek, hopping as she clutched at her toes. She gave me a furious glare as she headed for Professor Marchbanks.

The room was now even louder as more and more people cast their jinxes and shields. Sirius was dueling back and forth with both Evan Rosier and Elijah Wilkes, while beside him James dueled exclusively Snape. They seemed well-matched, avoiding as much as they cast. Lily was watching Severus carefully as she shielded a jelly-brain jinx from Jonas Avery. I knew she was worried about Severus. The hatred between James and Severus was almost palpable, and that added to a wand-to wand duel, was enough to make her nervous.

I focused back on the duel, shooting a jelly-legs jinx at Sebastian Mulciber, who was busy sending one at Remus. His legs buckled for a second before becoming completely useless. Remus used the opportunity to turn Tracey Traver's hair green.

I was so excited, I was almost hit with one from Sylvia Montague. I had to cast a shield charm at the last second to avoid another one from Narcissa Black. It seemed they were tag teaming now. I wasn't able to drop my shield charm to jinx them for even a second. I had to spend all my energy avoiding both of their combined jinxes.

"That'll teach you to mess with Lizzie," Narcissa said as Sylvia shot another jinx at me. So that's why they were ganging up on me, because I jinxed Elizabeth.

"How are her toes?" I asked from behind my shield charm, "still biting her through those hideous shoes?"

Pure fury crossed Narcissa's face and she shot another jinx and my shield charm, watching it bounce right off.

Zinnia Flint, and Evan Rosier both walked to the side of the room, sprouting fresh jinxes. Alice and Remus walking glumly behind them, with swollen, enlarged hands.

"Oh no you don't, Snivellus!" James yelled loudly. Narcissa's head snapped in that direction, distracted, giving me enough time to lower my shield and jinx her. Steam came screeching from her earlobes, and Sylvia closed her eyes for a fraction of a second. I sent a jinx back at her and she scowled, stumbling backward. I watched as James Potter hit Severus Snape with a toe twisting jinx, looking triumphant as he did. Severus scowled and immediately shot another jinx at the unsuspecting James.

I wanted to move onto someone else, but I couldn't. I was barreled into by James Potter, who was now jogging down the length of the line, engaged in an intense duel with Severus Snape.

Snape was sporting enlarged ears and robes were on fire. Both we clearly jinxed but neither one of them would stop.

"Alright, enough you two." Marchbanks called, "You've been jinxed. You're out." They didn't listen. It was as if they hadn't even heard her.

"Levi corpus!" James shouted at Snape, watching his body suspend into the air by his ankles. Snape struggled against the jinx and unearthed his wand from the tangled mess of levitating robes.

"Stop it, Potter!" Lily shouted angrily, stamping her foot. "Enough!"

Jonas Avery shot her in the chest with a jinx that knocked her to the ground. I responded by hitting him directly in the face with a jinx that caused him to sprout feathers all over his arms.

Snape was scowling at James and whispered something pointing his wand directly at James. A thin wound opened on James chin, sprouting fresh blood.

"ENOUGH!" Professor Marchbanks demanded. "Both of you stop it! Come here right now!"

Professor Marchbanks stomped onto the dueling ground, knocking into Sirius, Elijah and I, the only ones still remaining, to get to James and Severus. One flick of her wand and they both fell to the floor.

"When I say something is enough, that is quite enough!" She lectured. "Detention for both of you." James and Severus were both crumpled on the floor, panting staring at each other with looks of absolute hatred.

Professor Marchbanks took one look at James chin and her eyes narrowed even further. "What is this?" she demanded of Snape. "I specifically said no hexes or dark magic! Twenty points from Slytherin and an extra detention, Mr. Snape. Next time I give explicit instructions, I expect them followed!"

Severus nodded and gave such a dirty look at James, I thought it was definitely murderous.

"You, Potter. Go to the Hospital Wing," Professor Marchbanks. "As for you three," She looked at Sirius, Elijah and I. "I do not wish to continue this travesty any longer. Take ten points for each of you, for getting this far. Everyone else may clear out. It's nearly ending time anyway."

There was a shuffle as James and Severus got up. James holding his bleeding chin in his hands, and left the room, the other marauders at his heels. Everyone else gathered their things and headed for the door. Anyone else who was still jinxed lined up behind Professor Marchbanks to be relieved.

Lily was seething as we headed through the oak door and down the corridor, her tiny arms shaking as she walked at top speed back towards the common room.

"I can not believe he did _that_!" she snapped furiously. "Why would James antagonize him like that? He was already jinxed. It should have been _over."_

"I don't know, Lily," Marlene said evenly. "It looked pretty fairly matched to me. I don't think James is entirely to blame."

 _"_ _What?"_ Lily demanded, stopping dead in the hallway to eye Marlene dangerously. "How can you say that? You know James is _always_ trying to get under Severus' skin. Of course, it was him!"

Marlene bit her lip uncomfortably, shifting her books in her arms. "Look, Lily. I know Severus is your friend and all, but I don't think he was innocent in that. I mean look at what he did to James' chin. He used some kind of dark hex, after Professor Marchbanks specifically told us not to-"

 _"_ _-because James was attacking him! Like usual!"_

"I don't think he was, though," Marlene added. "James had already jinxed Snape."

Lily scowled. "No, I _know_ Snape. He wouldn't do that. You just think James is innocent because he's Sirius' best mate, and you hate Snape."

"That is not true," Marlene said defensively, narrowing her eyes. "I dislike Snape. I don't hate him. Mary and Doe were right there, Ask them. Snape started it."

"Mary? Doe?" Lily asked, crossing her arms.

Mary gave me a sheepish look. I knew how much she hated controversy. She couldn't stand it when they fought.

"Well I didn't get a very good look," Mary admitted nervously. "I still had boils around my eyes and Rylie's were really hurting her so she was crying."

Lily turned to me. "Doe?" she asked softly.

Now I understood why Mary looked so nervous. Lily's eyes were started to get swimmy, as if she couldn't decide whether to be angry or upset. I didn't want to upset her more, but also didn't want to lie.

"I mean everything was moving very fast. It was sort of hard to see anything, really..."

 _"_ _Doe."_ Marlene was not letting me evade the question.

I sighed. "Oh, alright. I saw James jinx Snape first, and it looked like he was done after that, but Snape jinxed him again. After that it sort of escalated."

Lily crossed her arms in frustration and let out a little sigh.

"See?" Marlene said. "I told you. Snape started it. Doe doesn't lie."

I felt a pit churning my stomach as she spoke. I spent half my life lying to everyone at Hogwarts. Of course, I would never lie about anything _else_ , but it was hard to feel like an honest, moral person when I fibbed about where I lived, and with who.

"It's not really fair to judge Severus," Lily offered sadly. "You guys don't know half the things they do to him. They make Sev's life miserable."

Marlene's face screwed up, and it looked like she was going to argue, but refrained. Mary nodded along.

I squeezed Lily's shoulder comfortingly Lily. "Everyone here knows what they do, Lily. I'm sure that Severus was…er…. _on edge_? Maybe a little paranoid about what he thought he they would do."

Lily nodded. "I promise you guys, he's not as bad as everyone thinks he is. I wouldn't spenf time with him, if he was."

"We know that," I assured her. Mary and Marlene begrudgingly nodded.

Lily sniffed. "Sorry for snapping at you, Marley. I didn't mean it."

"It's fine, Lily. Honest."

Lily wiped at her eyes and turned back to us. "Let's go do something fun, get our minds off of this."

Marlene beamed. "Yeah, Otto Bagman was bragging the other day that he can do a hair-thickening charm. Want to see if he can teach us? He'd do it, if _I_ asked."

"I'd love too, but I have go tutor," I said miserably. "But you guys should go."

"Oh, rats. I forgot about that," Marlene said. "Sorry."

"No, don't worry about it. You guys go have fun. I'll meet up with you later." I waved goodbye to my friends and headed down the corridor to the library. I was already dreading this tutoring session before, but now I was genuinely irritated by it.

When I got to the library, it was crowded with students from all of the years. After last lesson was always a busy time, and remained so into dinner. I did a quick scan of the tables and didn't see Sirius anywhere, so I found an empty one and waited, my Charms textbook open in front of me.

A group of seventh year Slytherin girls were sitting at the table across from me, whispering to each other in soft voices while they laughed at something in front of them. My leg started to shake after all, as I waited and I kept checking the clock on the wall. I sat for fifteen minutes, stewing angrily in complete silence. Professor Flitwick told me to meet Sirius here after last lesson, and that ended almost a half hour ago. _Where was he?_ Was he standing me up? The idea made me even more furious. It was annoying to have to tutor Sirius at all, but if he didn't show? That was just plain rude. It was five minutes later, when Sirius strode into the library. He wasn't wearing his robes or carrying his backpack, and the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up over his arms. Several girls at the tables eyed him as he walked by. Even the seventh-year girls, stopped their whispering to watch him. When he spotted me, he walked over and plopped down in the seat next to me.

"Hey there, Meadowes," he said cheerily. I clenched my teeth. He strolls in after half an hour and say _hey there?_

"You're late," I told him, opening my charms textbook to the page on summoning charms, "I've been waiting for half and hour."

"Brrr. This is quite the chilly reception I'm getting from you." Sirius said, "I was in the Hospital Wing with Pro-...James and time sort of got away from us."

"Is he alright?"

"Who, darling?" Sirius asked, pulling his hair into a low bun. He missed several of the pieces and they hung down, framing his face.

"Nicholas Flamel, Sirius. I was genuinely curious how he was feeling after Six hundredth and forty-ninth birthday" I said, slightly annoyed." Obviously, I meant James."

Sirius grinned. "I don't know what is more concerning, the fact that you are willingly asking about James' well-being, or the fact that you know how old Nicholas Flamel is off the top of your head."

"Why is it surprising that I'm asking about James' well-being?" I asked him, ignoring the jibe about Nicholas Flamel. "He's in my house, isn't he?"

"Well-observed," Sirius chuckled. "He _is_ in Gryffindor. However I never got the impression that you cared very much for any of the Marauders, Meadowes."

I shrugged. "I like Remus fine."

"So, it's just, Peter, James and I you hate?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow. "I'm crushed. Moony'll be thrilled though."

I rolled my eyes. "Look, I don't hate any of you, alright? Can we just get to the tutoring?"

"In a minute," Sirius said, waving me off with his hand. "Fine, you don't hate us. But you don't particularly like us either, do you? I've lived in the same house as you for nearly five years now and I think we've maybe spoken six times."

Six might have actually been optimistic. Sirius and I had barely interacted over the las few years. Partially because we didn't have very much in common, and partially because my best friends detested his. It would have been hard to ever get to know him with James and Lily's constant rows in the background.

I looked away for a second and noticed that half of the library was watching us with a curious expression. Most of them looked away when I caught them staring, but the group of Slytherins were staring at me with their mouths hanging wide open. I knew it must be shocking. It wasn't as if Sirius and I were friends, definitely not friendly enough to be studying together. And Sirius wasn't the likeliest candidate for a tutor. I guess to them it must look like I was one of Sirius' conquests. The idea irked me more than I could understand.

"I don't really see why that matters," I told him. "Not everyone has to like you,"

Sirius chuckled, "Life's usually more fun when people do, though. And don't we have enough people hating us with the Slytherins around? I don't really fancy having more."

"I thought we already established that I don't hate you?"

"True," Sirius said, moving closer, "The new goal will be trying to get you to actually _like me_ , then. How's that sound, Doll face?" He winked, and I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"Unlikely," I answered. "How about the goal is getting you to pass Charms. That's why we're here isn't it?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Merlin, you're a buzzkill, Meadowes. I refuse to believe you're like this all of the time."

"I am not." I told him. "Other people think I'm very fun. Just because I'm not constantly landing myself in detention, doesn't mean I'm a buzzkill."

Sirius chuckled. "Well in that case, this impression you're doing of Lily Evans right now is spot-on. Honestly, you should win an award."

My jaw fell open and Sirius grinned, obviously pleased he had managed to get a rise out of me. I kicked him in the shin under the table.

"Agrippa," he swore.

I smiled back at him. "Now can we start the tutoring, please? I'd rather not spend the rest of my evening here with you."

"Most girls would kill to spend an evening with me," Sirius replied cheekily, trying to give me a smoldering stare. Annoyed as I was, I had to commend him on how good it was. He was an attractive guy. It was a good thing too, or no one would ever keep from murdering him.

"Bully for them. I'm here to tutor you."

I flipped through the textbook and found the bit on summoning charms, and pushed it over to Sirius.

"So, I don't really know where to start. Did you get the hang of summoning charms."

Sirius nodded. "Course I did. I summoned every single one of Bertram Aubrey's quills out of his bag. Definitely worth the ten points Flitwick took from Gryffindor."

"If you already mastered it, why do you need a tutor?" I asked him.

"Flitwick thinks I lack proper motivation to do my homework. I suspect you're here to babysit me until I actually finish the essays he's assigned," Sirius said, shrugging. "I'm a little spotty with turning homework in."

"Shocking," I said sighing. "You might as well get started on the essay. I suppose I can look over it for you, when you've finished. I honestly can't think of anything else were supposed to."

"Well if you're looking for something we could do, there's quite a roomy broom cupboard on the fourth floor we could settle down in," Sirius said, winking.

My mouth hung open. "You are so foul, you know that? Absolutely foul."

"I was also joking, Meadowes," Sirius said. "Believe me. After knowing you this long, don't you think I know how'd you react to _that?_ " He chuckled, and pulled a piece of parchment and quill out of his pocket. "Last time I checked your name wasn't McKinnon."

He started to scratch his name at the top of the parchment.

"Marlene is one of my best friends," I told him warningly.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "So? I didn't mean any offense by it. I'm rather impressed with Marlene's complete aversion to anything that even slightly resembles commitment. We're likeminded that way. I simply meant that Marlene is always up for a trip to a broom closet, whereas you, are not."

" _Like you would know_ ," I said softly, crossing my arms. "You think because people aren't in that closet with you, they aren't in there? You aren't the only boy at Hogwarts, you know."

Sirius looked extremely curious. "As I'm frequently reminded by James. Now back to those broom closets. _Have_ you been in there, recently?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just write your essay, Sirius."

He chuckled and turned back to his essay. While he wrote, I sat quietly, thinking. In truth, I hadn't ever been in the Hogwarts broom-closets, but the fact that Sirius seemed to know this irritated me. I don't know why it bothered me. It wasn't as if Lily or Mary had either, but the indication that Sirius thought there was no way I could have, annoyed me to no end. I watched him as he continued writing the essay, chewing on his lip occasionally. People were starting to clear out of the library, meaning dinner was probably starting soon. As they left, they kept throwing glances back at Sirius and I. I tried my best to ignore them, letting my mind wander. I thought of my friends in the common room, and wondered if Lily was still upset, or if they were having fun, sitting on the warm common room floor.

"There," Sirius slid the essay across the table to me. "That's perfect. The best essay on the summoning charm ever written. Flitwick will give me full marks, I'm sure."

I read through his essay, while he watched me with a confident expression.

"It's good," I told him. "If you turned stuff like this in all the time, we wouldn't have to sit here like this, twice a week."

"And miss your smiling face and sunny commentary? No thanks."

I rolled my eyes, gathering my books and Sirius smiled wider. "Oh, come on, Meadowes. I'm a treat. I'm sure I'm twice as fun as the last person you tutored."

"The last person I tutored was Reginald Cattermole."

Sirius snorted. "Alright, three times as fun, then."

The entire library was empty now. The last group of third years having just left. Dinner must have already started.

I rolled my eyes at Sirius, as I slung my bag over my shoulder. "Could you be any more arrogant? I'm honestly curious."  
Sirius followed me as I left the library, his long legs matching my strides without breaking a sweat. "I could be, but then I would be James."

I couldn't stop the laughter from escaping my lips, and Sirius looked more confident now as we walked towards the Great Hall. We still got looks from other passing by students as we made our way down the corridors, and several girls would whisper things to their friends as they stared at us, curious what Doe Meadowes and Sirius Black could possibly be doing together. Did people really care that much who Sirius was spending his time with? Sure, people fawned over him and him James, but this seemed a little ridiculous. They weren't celebrities. I don't care how many Quidditch games they won, or pranks they pulled. If people really cared this much, I couldn't fathom why Marlene wanted to intentionally do that to herself.

Dinner was already in full swing when we entered the Great Hall. A few people up and down the house tables, eyed us with raised eyebrows as we came in together. If Sirius noticed, he didn't act like it. We walked down to the house table where the rest of the fifth years were sitting, ignoring the looks of confusion Hestia Jones and Sturgis Podmore cast as we did. The other marauders were sitting next to Marlene, Mary and Lily. Marlene looked thrilled, and Lily looked as if she was doing all she could to avoid even looking at James. Her entire body was turned as far as it could away from him, without sitting the opposite way.

Lily smiled when she saw me. "There you are."

"We thought you might have murdered Sirius and buried the body under the whomping willow," Mary told me.

"I thought about it, but I was worried that the branches might mess up my hair," I told her. They chuckled. Marlene only smiled.

"What took you so long, Padfoot?" Peter asked as Sirius plopped down in the open seat across from him.

"Sorry," Sirius said casting a long look at me. "Meadowes and I were up in the broom closet on the fourth floor and lost track of time. She simply couldn't get enough of me."

James burst into a loud laugh and pumpkin juice came splashing out of Remus's nose. Marlene's eyes widened as she turned to me, mouth agape. A mixture of hurt and fury in her eyes.

"He's lying. We were in the library," I said quickly, sneering at Sirius. "Sirius thinks he's funnier than he is."

"She's got you there, Padfoot," James agreed.

I turned to Sirius. "You have the maturity of a first year."

"And the body of a Greek god. Your point?" Sirius asked.

I rolled my eyes and turned to the food, serving myself a hearty helping of food. Marlene hadn't taken her eyes off of me or Sirius the entire time.

"So, the studying went well then?" she asked in a very strained voice. It didn't sound anything like her normal, sultry, vivacious teasing.

"As well as expected," I said with a shrug. Marlene's eyes flew to Sirius, who was now engaged in a conversation with the other marauders.

"That's good then," Lily said. "Still rubbish you have to do it. We missed you in the common room. Marlene learned the hair-thickening charm. I'll teach it to you when we get back to the dormitory."

"Excellent," I told her, taking a bite of the food in front of me. We spent the rest of dinner, listening to Lily tell us all a very detailed story of how she accidentally vanished Petunia's fiancé's mustache during a family dinner over the summer, that had all of us doubled over in laughter. Marlene was the only one who seemed unamused by the anecdote. Her eyes were still wide and she spent most of the meal looking from me to Sirius, with a strange expression on her face. She only lighted up when Sirius asked her about her a question about what her brother was doing about Quidditch practice.

I couldn't help but think Marlene's strange behavior had something to do with me, but I couldn't quite place what it was. I decided not to worry about, sure that if something was bothering her she would tell me about it.


	4. Creatures of Habit

4

Creatures of Habit

The next three weeks passed without incident, just like every other September at Hogwarts.

The only change to the usual was our classes had suddenly become much more difficult and the teachers began piling on the homework in tons. Even classes like Divination and Care of Magical Creatures became exhausting. Marlene almost ripped off Sybil Trelawney's head off during our morning divination class, when she told her that she had _seen_ she'd fail her exams later this year, and Peter Pettigrew spent days in a foul mood after he failed out first Transfiguration test of the year.

It seemed like every time we had lesson, we were assigned twice the amount homework we usually were. Before the week was over, each of us had a pile of work that would take most of the weekend to finish. Something I wasn't looking forward too. My time seemed to be spent more than it was ever before, already. I spent most evenings circled around the floor of the common room with Lily and Mary trying to stay on top of our homework. Lily and Remus seemed particularly exhausted, having to also accommodate prefect patrols into their time-table. I hadn't seen very much of Lily at all lately. She was kept very busy and spent a lot of free time with Severus in the library. Normally when she did this, I would hang out with Marlene, but that wasn't much of an option anymore.

Marlene had been a little colder to me the last few weeks and I had no idea why. But occasionally she would throw me dark glances or look annoyed when I spoke. I didn't know what it was, but I had a sinking suspicion it had to do with Sirius. Not that she ever spoke to me long enough for me to ask.

In addition to my increasing workload, I also had to continue my tutoring with Sirius. The last few meetings had gone exactly like the first. Sirius usually arrived late, tried to distract me with cheeky comments for fifteen minutes or so before I finally forced him to get down to business. After that, they were a little easier than I thought they would be. Once you stripped Sirius of the arrogant and sexually motivated comments, he wasn't terrible company. But it usually took so long to get there, I would end up getting irritated with him. Something that only seemed to fuel his constant commentary.

What was really getting annoying, was the constant talking and staring we would get from everyone else. For three weeks, every time Sirius and I were anywhere together, people whispered and pointed. Several disgruntled girls had flat out walked up to me in the corridors and asked me if I was seeing him. It didn't matter how many times I swore up and down on Hogwarts; A History that I wasn't, people didn't seem to believe me, and it was driving me crazy. Mary didn't notice it much, and Lily was just annoyed that it meant Sirius and James were around more.

"I don't get it," I complained to Amelia during Care of Magical Creatures on the third Friday of the year. "I'm tutoring him, why do people think it's anything else."

We were studying kneazles, which resembled normal house cats in every manner other than there razor sharp whiskers, so the class felt a lot like sitting in an old woman's yard. Professor Kettleburn had tasked us with removing their whiskers this period, and while it didn't hurt them, the Kneazles grew very annoyed if you tried, and it sometimes ended with a swipe of a paw to the face. Amelia was the only friend I had in the class. Mary and Lily had taken Arithmancy in favor of Care of Magical Creatures, and Marlene was in muggle studies. It was some of the only time I ever saw Amelia, being in different houses made it hard to have much quality time.

Amelia looked across the yard where the Marauders were crowded around a cluster of tabby-striped Kneazles, and shrugged. "I think it's just hard for people to comprehend that Sirius is spending so much time with a bird he's not shagging."

"It's not as if we're spending that much time together. We're just studying." I said scratching the kneazle behind it's ears. "Not to mention I couldn't be further from Sirius' type if I tired. He thinks I'm uptight. And anyway, he's shagging _other_ girls. People must not think that highly of me, if they think we're involved."

"I'm just telling you how it looks," Amelia said. "It's not as if you two don't get along, either. You're not exactly fighting like you used too."

"We never fought," I told her.

"You never used to sit with him at dinner either. I'm not saying there's anything going on, but it's strange to see you two being…friendly."

Something hit me like a ton of bricks. "You don't think that's why Marlene's been kind of cold to me, do you? She's barely spoke to me in weeks."

Amelia made a face. "Honestly? Probably. You said she's had her eye on him, right? She might be jealous. If I were you, I'd make sure you told her that you're not interested. Make it clear."

I nodded, watching the brown kneazle in front of me.

Amelia smiled, raising one of her reddish eyebrows. "You're not interested, are you?"

I gave Amelia a knowing look. "You're joking, right? Tell me you're joking."

Amelia held her hands up defensively. "How am I supposed to know? It's not as if you regularly keep me updated on that sort of thing. Last you told me, you liked Prewett."

My face burned red and I busied myself with stroking the orange kneazle in front of me.

"So? I take it that you still do like Prewett then?" she whispered, wigging her eyebrows suggestively.

"I don't know. I barely know him," I said, my face still flushed as Gideon's handsome face flashed through my mind. "Let's change topics, how're your parents?"

Amelia rolled her eyes. "Good I guess. All they do is go on and on about Edgar and his achievements. Perfect Edgar and his twelve O.W.L.s prefect and Head Boy. Dumbledore even told them that Edgar was one of the best students he ever had the privilege of teaching. It's exhausting you know? I'll never live up to that. Not that they're all that concerned with me at the moment. Not with what's going on at home."

"What's going on at home?" I asked her. Amelia's face immediately darkened and she checked to make sure that no one was listening behind her.

"You know what's been happening with You-Know-Who right?" she asked. I gave a small, curt nod and she kept talking. "Well, he _is_ recruiting. Every so often, some of his followers would stop by the house in the summer, trying to get my dad to join them. They know he's a good dueler, from working as a hit wizard. He's refused them so far, but he doesn't know how long that will last. He's afraid that might move onto other methods to motivate him." She shuddered a little and then turned back to me.

"And by other methods, you mean?"

Amelia dragged a finger across her throat. Her eyes were cold and dark, and all traces of a smile were missing from her face.

My hand flew to my mouth. "Holy Hippogriff, Amelia. I'm so sorry."

She shook her head. "Don't worry, I don't think they'll try it. We're Purebloods, after all. The only people they seem to be targeting right now are Muggleborns."

"Still. I hope nothing happens."

"Yeah, me too."

Amelia and I kneeled down and tricked one of the kneazles into rolling onto it's back. While Amelia's rubbed its furry stomach, I pulled out the whiskers, dodging a swipe of its clawed paw as I did.

There was an immediate hissing sound and all of the kneazles scattered as a black, floppy-skinned puppy tore through the grounds after them, on its tiny, chubby legs.

"Oh no!" Professor Kettleburn complained, "Not again. Hagrid! Control that dog!"

Hagrid had come bounding out of his house, chasing the tiny puppy, doing his best to avoid stepping on any of the tails of the kneazles, most of whom were now hissing and spitting. The puppy was chasing a particularly fast orange kneazle. It darted through Peter's open legs, and when the puppy came barreling through, it knocked Peter to the ground. James and Sirius burst into laughter, and Remus bent down to help him up.

Hagrid was doing his best to chase him, and failing. "Fang! Fang, stop chasin them kneazles! Someone grab that dog."

The puppy came tearing towards us, and Amelia grabbed him around the middle, lifting him into her freckled arms. The puppy woofed at her, and licked her face with its large tongue. Amelia made a face and handed him off to me, taking the sharp whiskers out of my hand. The puppy was sweet and nuzzled his fluffy head into my neck.

"Hi there," I whispered to him. "Aren't you adorable?" I rubbed him between his ears and he barked appreciatively.

Hagrid walked over to us. "Thank ya, girls. Blasted Pup's been doing that all day. Can't get enough of them kneazles. Stop it Fang." Fang had slobbered onto the end of my robes.

"He's so cute, Hagrid," I told him, stroking him again. "Did you just get him?"

"Over the summer," Hagrid said. "Was a gift from Dumbledore. Kind a him to do. Knew I could use some company. Speaking of which, you should come and have a tea with me sometime, Doe. Haven't seen you in a while. Bring Lily too, always liked that girl. Kind. Just like you."

"Of course," I told him. "I'll do that."

"Lookin' forward ter it."

I gave Fang one more appreciative pat and then handed him off to Hagrid. He tucked him firmly under his arm and then brought him back to his hut. As soon as the door had closed, the kneazles started to climb down from the trees.

"Like dogs to you, Meadowes?" James Potter asked, clutching a striped kneazle in his arms. They seemed to be rubbing all over him, and keeping a wide birth from Sirius.

"I love them," I said, an eyebrow raised. "Why?"

James turned back to Sirius, with a sly grin on his face. "I reckon you might have a shot with this one, Padfoot."

Remus gave him an annoyed sigh.

"Honestly?" Remus asked darkly "Why not just spell it out for her?"

Sirius looked annoyed. "Shut up, Prongsie. It's fine, Remus. I wouldn't worry about it. He didn't really say anything."

"Easy for you to say!" Remus shot back.

"What are you lot talking about?" I asked them, feeling as though I was missing something.

"Nothing," James said smirking. He scratched the kneazle happily, while Remus removed its whiskers.

From behind him, Sirius eyed Amelia. "Eh, Bones? That's quite a name. Anyone ever make jokes about- "

"All the time," Amelia answered before he could. "They're about as clever as jokes about _your_ name."

"Then they're downright brilliant, aren't they?" he winked. Amelia rolled her eyes.

She turned back to me. "I fully apologize for the suggestion I made in our previous conversation."

I chuckled. "That's okay, Amelia. I forgive you."

As class ended, the rest of us helped gather the kneazles and put them back in their cages. Amelia said goodbye and then we separated, heading off to our own common rooms. I followed a few feet behind the Marauders, keeping my distance. While we walked, I watched them hex a Hufflepuff third year for absolutely no reason. When we got through the portrait hole, they disappeared upstairs to their dormitory, still laughing about it loudly.

The common room wasn't very crowded for a Friday afternoon. Most people were still in classes, Professor Kettleburn had let us out early. Gideon and Fabian Prewett were sitting on one of the couches with Krysten Morris and Nora Tenenbaum, playing with a sneakoscope. And a few fourth years sat crowded around the fireplace. Marlene was sitting on one of the couches, looking slightly bored and a little annoyed as Caradoc Dearborn talked her ear off. When she saw me, her eyes brightened for a moment and then darkened as if remembering she was mad at me.

I figured now was the perfect time to talk to her. I couldn't stand having Marlene mad at me any longer, especially for something that wasn't even true. I approached the couch and smiled at them.

"Hey Caradoc," I smiled at him. "Would you mind giving Marlene and I a moment? I need to talk to her about something."

Caradoc looked slightly crestfallen but smiled anyway. "Of course. Wouldn't dream of interrupting you and Marley. I'll be over there with Krysten Morris is you need me, Marlene."

Marlene gave him a half-hearted smile, and looked downright relieved when he walked away. I took his seat beside her.

"Thank you for that, he wouldn't stop talking about the trip he took to Egypt this summer. I've never met a person who could make a vacation sound so dull."

"Glad to be of service," I chuckled, wrapping my arms around my knees. "Do you mind if we talk for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure."

I took a deep breath. "Look Marlene, I know you've been a little weird to me lately, and I think I know why." Marlene's face was unreadable.

"I know you like Sirius," I told her. "And I would never do anything that would hurt you, Marlene. You're my best friend. I'm tutoring Sirius, that's it. We're just friendly. Nothing else, okay?"

Marlene looked at me for a minute and sighed. "Merlin, I'm so sorry, Doe. I don't know what I was thinking. It's just you two were so friendly, and I don't know I just sort of started to think you two might get together, and I…well I got jealous. It's no excuse. I'm sorry."

She reached around to give me a tight hug. "It's okay, Marlene. I'm just glad you're not angry anymore."

Marlene grinned. "I have so much to tell you. I just overheard Krysten telling Nora that Carmichael, yeah, my perfect brother Carmichael just landed himself in detention for sassing Professor Marchbanks. Makes me like Marchbanks even more."

She looked really pleased.

"And let me guess, you're already writing to your mum?" I asked nodding at the parchment and quill that was open in front of her.

Marlene smiled mischievously. "I mean, she is his mother. It's her duty to know what's going on with him. Trust me, if you had siblings, you'd understand. I've got to love them, but I also have got to get them in trouble."

"A duty you're not shirking I see."

"Of course not. I have excellent follow-through."

I had always envied Marlene and her family. Having five siblings seemed like a dream to me. She was always brimming with stories about what she and her sisters had done over the summer, or the antics her brothers got up to at Christmas. I had always wanted a family like that. That's what I had always thought I was going to get. When my parents told me, I was going to have a little brother, I was elated. I never thought they'd all be dead, before he was even given the chance to be born.

Marlene had taken to finishing her note to her mom. "Does the phrase 'biggest disappointment to our family since Aunt Fredericka' sound too harsh to you?" she asked absentmindedly.

"Perhaps a tad," I told her.

Marlene sighed and dragged the quill though her last time, chewing on the end of it while she tried to come up with a substitute. I played with the end of my ponytail while she did.

"Doing homework?" a voice asked in front of us. "Surely, you birds have something more interesting to do on a Friday night?"

It was Sirius. He and the other Marauders had reemerged from the dormitory and were standing over the backs of the armchairs in front of us.

"It's not homework," Marlene told him. "I'm ratting on my brother, if you must know."

Sirius chuckled and plopped himself down in one of the armchairs in front of us. "That's not much more interesting." James took the armchair beside him, and Remus and Peter made themselves comfortable on the squishy rug beside them.

Marlene raised an eyebrow. "Well it doesn't look as though you have any real interesting Friday night plans either."

James shook his head. "Not exactly. We couldn't think of a blasted thing to do to be perfectly honest. I can't wait until Quidditch practices start up again. Remind me to pester you're ebrother about that McKinnon, and we've already hexed a Hufflepuff, and Snivellus isn't around, so we're pretty bored, I'd say."

"Do you _have_ to seek out Severus all the time?" I asked him. Sirius groaned, and James rolled his eyes.

"Ugh, Meadowes don't tell me you're a Slytherin lover like Evans," he said darkly.

I shook my head. "No. I don't particularly like him either, but I just don't see why you have to constantly start things with him. You know it infuriates Lily to no end."

"Well for starters," Sirius said. "It's _fun_."

I gave him a pointed look and he winked in response. "But why do you do it? What's he ever done to you?"

"He exists," James snapped, slightly annoyed. "Look I don't know what Evan's had been telling you, Doe, but Snape's not some innocent victim, bullied by the Marauders. He starts half of these things himself. You should see how he treats Remus and Peter."

Remus blushed a little. "He isn't my favorite person in the world."

James continued, "He's always running around doing some kind of some dark magic. Like with that defense practical."

"Yeah!" Peter piped up. "He wounded James!"

"I'm not saying Snape is a blameless victim, but I also don't think you guys should seek him out for trouble either," I told James.

"Agree to disagree," James shrugged. "Still don't understand how Evans can stand him enough to be his friend."

"I don't really think inter-house friendships work out that well," Marlene said, shrugging "I mean between rival houses anyway, like Gryffindor and Slytherin. Other than Jones and Vance, when have you ever seen it work out?"

"Vance and Jones, don't count," Remus said. "They're the exception, not the rule."

Emmeline Vance and Hestia Jones were both sixth years. While Hestia was in Gryffindor with us, Emmeline was a Slytherin. The two had become best friends in their first year, and challenged everyone's notions about inter-house friendships by staying that way throughout their entire time at Hogwarts so far. Except for mealtimes, you never saw Emmeline without Hestia.

"And Emmeline's barely a Slytherin," James pointed out. "Have you talked to her? She's a much more of a Ravenclaw."

"Only Slytherin I'd strip down to my skivvies for," Sirius chuckled. "Have you seen that girl. Merlin, she's good-looking."

I noticed Marlene's eyes narrow when he said that. I squeezed her wrist encourigingly.

"Dragon dung," James said. "You and I both know you wouldn't turn out a night with Sabrina Zabini."

Sirius shrugged. "A night maybe. That bird is _clingy_."

'More or less than Amy Bentworth?" Peter asked, staring up at Sirius as though he were the most interesting person in the world.

"Less. The Giant Squid sucks up less than Amy Bentworth."

"You two are reprehensible," Remus said shaking his head.

"I second that," I said agreeing, with him. Remus smiled.

"Speaking of Slytherins," Marlene said. "How's that brother of yours, Sirius?"

"Petulant and whiny as ever," Sirius said. "I swear he's got his head shoved so far up our mother's arse, I bet they share one brain now." It looked like he wanted to say something else, but shrugged.

The door to the portrait hole and Lily rushed in. Her face was white as a ghost, and behind her Mary was practically shaken, a far gone look draped across her features. Whatever was upsetting her was obviously important, because Lily didn't even stop to insult James or his comrades before plopping herself down in front of Marlene and I, wide-eyed. James' smile reached up to his eyes as he watched Lily, thrilled that she was willingly in the same space without shouting.

"Did you hear what happened?" Lily asked immediately. Mary curled up silently on the floor beside Peter, her face frozen in concern.

I shook my head. "No, Marlene and I have been here. What's up?"

Lily chewed on her bottom lip. "It's Gemma Fairview. Everyone coming out of last lesson just saw her screaming in the entrance hall with Professor McGonagall. Apparently, her whole family was murdered this morning. Her parents, siblings and everything. All because they were muggleborns."

I gasped, and Mary squeezed her eyes shut tighter.

"So it's..Him then?" Marlene asked quietly. Lily nodded, "Yeah. They said they found the Dark Mark hovering over his house. That's _his_ mark."

Sirius let out a low, saddened whistle, and Lily shot him a dangerous look.

"This is terrifying," I said, burying my chin on my knees. "You-Know-Who is a lot stronger than they're letting on. How is the ministry letting this go on? They can't keep letting attacks like this continue."

"My dad says they're trying," James said. "He works in the Magical Catastrophes office. But the problem is that it's not as if everyone wants this guy gone. He's got the support of a lot of older Pureblood families. It's hard for the ministry to take him down, when people are fighting to keep him strong."

"He's like Hitler," Lily said quietly.

"Who?" James asked. Lily shook her head. "He's a muggle. I wouldn't expect you to know about him."

"It's disgusting," Remus said shaking his head. "How anyone could honestly believe blood status has any merit or meaning,"

"Try telling that to people like my parents," Sirius said, slightly annoyed. "The Blacks have spent the last century convinced being pureblood makes them royalty."

"But acting on it?" James said shaking his head. "That's a whole other kind of evil."

I couldn't help but think of my mother's family. The Greengrass' had believed that so heartedly, they had raised a son who could senselessly murder his own sister, for betraying those beliefs. People like that, would have no problem exterminating an entire kind of wizard.

Lily had grown increasingly pale, and Mary eyes still remained closed. I didn't blame them for being scared. Both Lily and Mary were muggle-borns. They spent half of their time at Hogwarts dodging insults from the same Slytherins whose parents were probably publicly praising You-Know-Who. They were completely on board with his intent to destroy muggleborns.

"I mean, Lily and Mary are some of the best in the year," Remus added, "and they're muggleborns. It makes no sense."

Lily offered him a small smile. "Thank you, Remus." Her voice was still tiny and terrified.

"Someone's going to stop him," I assured Lily. "The Minister or Dumbledore."

"Yeah," Lily said wistfully. "I hope so."

* * *

The news of Gemma Fairview's murdered family spread around the castle like wildfire. Gemma had left the school, to be with some distant cousins, and it left most of the students to talk about it freely. For the entire weekend, you couldn't even round a corner without hearing a group of people of talking about it in quiet, hushed voices. But it wasn't only Gemma they spoke about. The brutality of it all had caused most people to panic. You-Know-Who was always a whisper before, something talked about it quietly or in quiet whispers around the fire. Now, it was everywhere. Students talked both terrified and amazed of the reach that this terrifying wizard had. I did my best to steer clear of the conversations about it. Lily and Mary became absolutely terrified at the mere mention of it, so Marlene would often sit with Sirius or James to discuss the more intimate detail, and I would stay with Lily and Mary. It wasn't as if I minded, Gemma's tragedy was a constant and painful reminder about my own family. I tried to keep us busy, spending as much time as I could out of the common room, and away from the clusters of gossiping students. The four of us spent time on the grounds, finishing potions essays in the chilly fall air.

The Slytherins seemed very haughty about what had happened to Gemma. Every single one of them strutted around whispering about You-Know-Who and Blood- Purity. It got to the point, where mealtimes seemed more like a rumor mill than anything else.

On Sunday afternoon, I asked Lily to join me for tea at Hagrids. I had promised him I would visit, and Lily had always liked Hagrid. She seemed excited about it, lacing up her jacket and trudging down the grounds with me to his hut.

"It's good to do this," Lily agreed. "Better than being stuck up in that common room, listening to everyone going on and on about poor Gemma."

I nodded. "Yeah. Plus, I haven't had tea with Hagrid in a while. It's rude of me. He's done so much for me over the years."  
We sloped down the uneven ground to Hagrid's house. He was outside when we got there, talking in an earnest voice to Gideon Prewett. Gideon was holding a kneazle in his arms, affectionately stroking it behind the ears, while he listened intently to whatever Hagrid was telling him.

I could feel my cheeks turning pink as we walked towards the house. I should have known the Gideon might be here. He was always down on the grounds with Professor Kettleburn or traipsing out of the Forbidden forest with Hagrid, in search of some magical creature. Gideon's arms were covered in bites, scratches and burns; relics from the creatures he had studied over the years.

Gideon smiled brightly when he saw us walking over and Hagrid waved a large, round hand.

"Ello Doe! Lily! Jus give me a second to grab something for Gideon ere, and we'll have our tea." Hagrid wandered back into his house, leaving the three of us outside on the grounds.

"So, how are you?" Gideon asked me, "this whole Gemma Fairview thing is awful isn't it?"

Lily wrapped her arms around her chest, watching the forest instead of participating in the conversation.

"It's terrible," I agreed, chewing on the end of my lip. "I know how she feels. Losing your parents is the worst thing in the world."

Gideon slid the kneazle under his arm. "I can't even imagine." He shook his head. "I remember back in my second year, when that whole thing happened with your parents. You were so brave about it, even for a first year. Very Gryffindor of you."

"Well, thanks, Gideon. That means a lot."

Gideon smiled back. "No problem, I meant it." His mouth opened as if he was going to say something else, but before he could, the door to Hagrid's hut opened and Hagrid emerged with a dark brown vial.

"That should do it, I reckon." He said handing it to Gideon. "Give em half the bottle and they should be so tired they won't realize yer taking their whiskers."

"If that worked, why did Professor Kettleburn have us chasing them all across the grounds?" I asked Hagrid.

Hagrid chuckled. "Ter get yer lot to learn something, I'd guess. Gideon here's advanced enough not to have to worry about that. Best student I've ever seen with them creatures." Gideon smiled behind Hagrid's back.

"Thanks Hagrid, I'll bring back the rest when I'm done," Gideon told him. "See you around, Doe. And you too, Lily." He waved one freckled hand and then turned back to the castle, with the kneazle still under his arm, his red ponytail slapping his back as he walked. The second he was out of sight, my stomach unknotted itself.

"Nice ter see you two," Hagrid said, pushing open his door. "Feels like it's been ages. How've you been?"

"I've been better," Lily said nervously, taking a seat with me at Hagrid's massive wooden table. Teacups the size of small bowls were sitting in front of us. "Have you heard what's been going lately, with Gemma Fairview."

Hagrid frowned and took his kettle off of the stove. "I did. Not the first time this has happened. Been hearing stuff like fer a while now. Especially this summer. It's been getting dark."

He looked at Lily's solemn face and changed the topic immediately, "Anyway, I'm sure it will be fixed soon enough. Dumbledore's…well he's working on something."

Hagrid seemed to sense that Lily was nervous about it. He cast a quick look at her and then me and then effortlessly changed the topic. "So, how's that friend of yours, Lily. Er...Snape is it?"

We spent the rest of the afternoon with Hagrid, catching him up on our classes and friends, and listening to him tell us about the unicorn breeding he was trying to get done. The topic of You-Know-Who and Gemma Fairview didn't come up for the rest of the day, something I was grateful for. I had a dark feeling that before this year was over, we'd be seeing a lot more.


	5. Hogsmeade, Hearts, and Hellraisers

**AUTHORS NOTE: This chapter was LONG so it took a little while longer for me to update. It's so fun to keep writing this and if you have any comments, suggestions or critiques, i'd LOVE to hear them in the reviews. Thanks!**

5

Hogsmeade, Hearts, and Hell-Raisers

As September changed to October, the only thing on everyone's minds was the upcoming trip to Hogsmeade. I was glad it was coming up. After the Gemma incident, everyone in the castle seemed to need a little bit of a pick me up, and nothing did that better than Hogsmeade.

The first trip of the year was always the most exciting. The last time anyone had been to Hogsmeade was April, and after the exhausting month we had, all anyone could think about was getting a treat at Honeydukes or sitting down for a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. Hogsmeade trips were also the easiest first dates and in the week leading up to the visit, people were stopped all over the castle to ask if they wanted to go out to the village. Marlene had already turned down two boys before agreeing to go with Sturgis Podmore, and Hexar Smith had personally come over to the Gryffindor table at lunch to ask Mary if she would go with him. Mary had looked a little unsure, but eventually agreed to go. The whole thing was a little unnerving. Every time a boy even walked into Gryffindor tower, all of the girls sitting around the chairs looked eager and hopeful, and every time Sirius and I were tutoring in the library, every girl within four feet would fix their hair and puff out their chest to get him to notice them. Especially when he came in dressed from Quidditch Practice. Every single girl in the library would shoot me daggers with their eyes and flutter their eyelashes at him, hoping to catch his eyes. I found the whole thing ridiculous. Sure, it was nice to go to Hogsmeade with someone you liked, but what was the point of having just anyone ask you? I'd much rather hang out with Lily or Amelia in the Three Broomsticks than spend an entire day with some bloke I was coerced into going with. The last Hogsmeade date I had gone in was third year, with Damocles Belby, and after that horrible experience, I lost most of the desire.

The Thursday before the trip, I walked with Lily, Alice and Rylie to Charms, listening to Rylie go on and on about whether or not she should cut her hair. She had spent the last twenty minutes arguing both sides, and while Lily and I had participated at first, the conversation was dragging.

"I just don't know because I think it would be easier to deal with, but then I couldn't plait it anymore." Rylie's face furrowed.

"I happen to think you'd look beautiful no matter what you did," Alice told her comfortingly.

Rylie gave her a hopeful look that didn't quite meet her eyes. Then she let out a low, sad sigh.

"Easy for you to say. Your face isn't round, it's heart shaped. You can have short hair and still have half the year thinking you're pretty. _I'm_ plain"

"You're not plain," Lily told her shaking her head. "You're adorable, Rylie."

I nodded eagerly as we entered the charms classroom. "Honestly, Ry."

Alice gave a furious nod of her head. "And anyway, don't do something because you're worried about what everyone will think of it. If you want to cut your hair, do it."

For such a tiny person, Alice had a very stern and commanding way about her. All it took was one comforting nod from her, and Rylie's spirits seemed to be lifted instantly.

"So, what do you want to do in Hogsmeade this weekend?" Lily asked as we took our usual seats at the table. "Marlene and Mary will be off on dates, so we could definitely go to the bookshop that they hate."

"Pair that with a trip to Honeydukes and a butterbeer, and you've got yourself a deal," I told her.

"Excellent," Lily beamed.

The rest of the class started to file into the room. When the Marauders walked in, James looked particularly delighted, and lingered by the desk Lily and I shared.

"Hey, Evans," James started.. He sat down on the edge of her desk and Lily scowled. The other Marauders shook their heads and took their seats.

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

James grinned. "I was wondering what you were doing for the Hogsmeade trip."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Literally anything other than you."

I had to cover my mouth to hide the laughter that threatened to spill out. I had to commend Lily on that one. She was usually cruel to James, but she was never that direct before. In front of me, Alice and Rylie each let out a little giggle. Even Remus, who normally ignored James and Sirius' antics, chuckled softly.

James only sighed. "One of these days, Evans. You're going to realize what a catch I am, and then I might not take you."

Lily snorted. "One of these days you're going to realize the only person you want to go out with is yourself."

James rolled his eyes and took his spot beside Sirius, peering over at Lily every few minutes. He seemed unable to ignore her for any period of time. As much as I understood Lily's hesitation, I had to admire how hard he tried to win her.

Flitwick gave us a light day and we spent most of the class practicing the agumenti charm. Half of the class had gotten so good at it that the entire classroom was drenched in puddles of water by the end of class, and Flitwick had to teach us the vanishing charm to get rid of it all.

Potions went just as fast. We were making a Pepper-up potion and the directions were simple enough that we could chat while we did it. The only problem was that after every step it needed to simmer for at least ten minutes. I used the time to answer the review questions, while Marlene gave up and instead gave me two even plaits.

By the time that classes were over, I was already exhausted and the idea of tutoring was just another thing to tire me out. I figured I could at least use the time to finish the defense essay that Professor Marchbanks had assigned; twelve inches on how defensive magic is often more important than hexes.

I took the short way to the library, having to cling to the railing of one of the staircases, when it decided halfway down that it wanted to change course, stranding me on the empty fifth floor.

The fifth floor was rarely used, except for nights when students would sneak off for a quick snog. Furious with the staircase, I headed down the corridor to make a wide turn back towards the library. When I got to the end of it, I stopped in the middle of the hallway.

There was a group of Slytherins sitting lazily on a blanket at the end of the corridor. Rabastan Lestrange and his usual gang of friends sat with some of the fifth year Slytherin girls. Zinnia Flint had wrapped herself around Antonin Dolohov so closely you couldn't see either of their faces, and Narcissa Black sat happily on the lap of Sebastian Mulciber. Elizabeth Burke was grinning at Rabastan, completely distracted. I wanted to snort. Of course, it was always the same group of lounging about together. Unfortunately for me, he was the one who looked up first.

"Doe!" Rabastan shouted, looking absolutely thrilled. "Nice of you to join us. Care to take a seat?" He patted his lap with a tiny smile.

I could feel the disgust rising up in my throat, and worse than that, the fear. It was never good for a Gryffindor to be this outnumbered by Slytherins, it always somehow turned into a duel. We couldn't help ourselves. I turned on my heels to leave. Rabastan and got to his feet, following after me.

"Hey now," he purred, grabbing me roughly by the shoulder. "Where are you headed off too? Why don't you stay a minute?" His hand lingered on my hip bone.

"Ew, Rabastan," Elizabeth snorted. "Seriously? Get a hold of yourself. You're a Lestrange. You can do better than chasing a dirty half-blood Gryffindor."

I pulled away from him, my hand reaching towards my wand pocket. "Can't you just leave me alone, Rabastan?" I snapped, my teeth were already on edge ready to spew the poison raging through my mind at the sight of him.

"But why would I when you always greet me with warmth and affection?" Rabastan asked, picking up one of my plaits in his thin fingers. He twirled the pale, blonde hair through his hands and then pressed it evenly to his lips. "I do love a blonde."

This time, I did pull my wand out. "So help me, Rabastan. I _will_ hex you."

It was a dangerous game to play, threatening Rabastan when I was extremely outnumbered. That was a good way to end up hexed or in the hospital wing, but something stopped me from backing down. It might be worth a jinx or two if I was able to shoot one back at him first.

Rabastan gave a cocky, wide-lipped smile that reached his eyes. "Oh, come on now, Doe. I can think of so many other fun things we do together. Like on Saturday. How about you and I sneak off to the dormitories while our fellow students are down in the village?"

I let out a haughty laugh. "I'd rather sleep in the shrieking shack."

" _Bet I could make you shriek_ ," Rabastan said, wiggling his eyebrows. I scowled, my upper lip twisting up in anger.

Somehow even when I though Rabastan had done the foulest things possible, he always seemed to do or say something worse. It was like his own personal brand of magic, that seemed to only exist to irritate me.

"Honestly, Lestrange," Antonin scowled. "If you need to get laid that badly, I'm sure Black could help you out."

"Rude!" Narcissa scowled, flipping her white-blond hair angrily. Mulciber wrapped an arm around her shoulders and that seemed to calm her. The others laughed a little and Narcissa feigned embarrassment, her high pitch giggle seemed to cut the halfway in two.

I took advantage of the opportunity to stalk off down the corridor, furious and trying to restrain myself from hexing Rabastan way I wanted too.

"See you Saturday then!" Rabastan called cheekily, as I disappeared around the corner. I took the steps three at a time, almost slamming straight into the trick stair that only first years ever got stuck on.

My heart felt like it was going to pound right out of my chest. Of all the people I could have run into, it had to be Rabastan? Ugh. He really was repulsive. There was no explanation for why he bothered me so much. Sure, he was a foul, loathsome toad, but why he was wasting his time with me, I didn't understand. Completely ignoring the fact that I was uninterested and hated his guts, I was a half-blood. In his eyes, I was good for nothing more than a shag.

I was still fuming as I entered the library, almost fifteen minutes late. For the first time since starting our tutoring sessions, Sirius was there before me. A fourth year Hufflepuff named Winnie Jacobs was standing beside the table, twirling her hair while she spoke to him. I rolled my eyes and slammed my textbook down in my open spot. Winnie gave me a very dirty look and then made a big show of saying goodbye to Sirius, squeezing his shoulder and letting her hand rest there for much longer than necessary. When she trotted away, she made sure to narrow her eyes in my direction.

Sirius seemed to notice the hostility. "What did you do to piss off Jacobs?" he asked, leaning back into his chair. His hair was more textured than usual, hanging loose and wavy around his face, as if he had been sweating earlier.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him harshly. I had just walked into the library. How could I have already done something to infuriate someone. My patience was already worn thin from earlier.

"Not once in the four years I've known her has she ever been that cold to someone. I figured you must have done something to her."

I shook my head. "She probably likes you. Ever since I started tutoring you, half the girls at Hogwarts have been a little chillier to me. She was probably worried I'd ruined her opportunity for you to ask her to Hogsmeade."

Sirius let out a great laugh, his shoulders shaking as he howled. "Is that true? Blimey that's fantastic!" Madam Pince gave him a dirty look from behind her spectacles and he dropped his voice. He frowned, "Rotten luck for Winnie though. I already asked Imogen Warbeck to Hogsmeade."

I don't know how he couldn't have noticed how the his fan club had treated me since the tutoring. Amy Bentworth, who had made her long and never-fading obsession with Sirius very known, had been trying to hex me in the hallway every time she saw me. I had learned to tune it out. Anyone who knew me well, or Sirius for that matter, would know the truth.

"Glad to know that people hating me excites you," I snapped at him opening my charms book. It was harsher than I usually was, and I knew that, even as Sirius blinked quickly in confusion. I couldn't seem to dull the anger that was still pounding in my ears.

Sirius shook his head. "No, it doesn't. It's the idea that I'm so attractive that girls are getting cross with you, that excites me.."

"Oh, that's _much_ better," I snapped, shaking my head angrily. My tone was still venomous, and I flipped through the charms textbook with much more force than was necessary.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, his full lips pouting as he searched my face with a less entertained face than he had before. "What's got you in such a mood. Meadowes?"

 _Rabastan Lestrange and his never-ending, unrelenting absurdity_ , I thought miserably, letting my irritation wash over me again like a wave. It wasn't exactly fair for me to be so rude to Sirius. It wasn't his fault that I was in such a foul mood. But I also wasn't a hundred percent convinced I should be sharing this with him, either. Outside of my dorm mates, I didn't like talking about Rabastan's strange infatuation. It didn't reflect well on either of us.

"I'm not in a mood," I said unconvincingly, playing with the end of my plait. It infuriated me that it had been in _Rabastan's_ hands only a few minutes earlier. I could think of nothing else but getting in the shower and scrubbing my hair until it was raw, no trace that he had ever touched it.

"Right and _I'm a Hippogriff,"_ Sirius said shaking his head at me. "If you don't want to tell me what's wrong, that's perfectly fine, but can I request you not take it out on my charms homework? I'm rather proud of that essay."

I followed his gaze and noticed that I was subconsciously shredding the edge of his parchment into a hundred tiny tears. I'm flushed pink and pushed the paper a few inches away from me. "Sorry."

"Perfectly fine with me, darling."

He seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk and went back to his charms homework, scribbling back onto the parchment, and stopping every few minutes to look something up in the textbook.

I did my best to look over his essay, but every time I got very into it, my mind drifted back to Rabastan and his cruel smile. An involuntary shiver ran down my spine as I pictured it. I knew if I really wanted to talk about it, Lily would sit up with me for hours and listen, but I didn't want someone to listen. I needed insight. An idea flashed through my brain. As much as I didn't love the idea, maybe Sirius could help me.

"You're a Pureblood, aren't you?" I asked Sirius nervously, biting my lip. I already knew the answer. He was a Black. Of course, he was a Pureblood, but it seemed rude to act like I already knew that. Especially given what I was going to ask.

Sirius looked up immediately, intrigue flashing across his face for a moment before he steadied it. "Since birth," he answered evenly, watching me carefully.

I pressed further, growing more confident. "And your family," I said carefully, now he _really_ looked intrigued, raising his eyebrow, "they're all a bunch of blood-purity obsessed nutters, right?"

"Couldn't have phrased it better myself," Sirius cracked a grin. "Why do you ask?"

I pursed my lips, unsure of how to address this without sounding insane, myself or at the very least, overly dramatic.

" _Hypothetically_ ," I said in a way that removed any doubt that the situation wasn't indeed my own, "If a Pureblood Slytherin, from a family like yours was constantly coming on to a half-blood from a different house..."

Sirius was hanging onto my every word now, and I had a bad feeling I had been mistaken in asking for his help.

"…. What would be the point?" I finished. " _What could he possibly get out of it?"_

"Besides laid?" Sirius asked with a chuckle. "I don't know, really. You'd have to ask my brother. It's not as if I run around asking the girl's I sleep with their blood status. But I'm pretty sure most of the Slytherins do."

"That's exactly my point," I said throwing my hands in the air. "If the rest of us have such _filthy blood_ , you think they'd shove off when we told them too."

Sirius gave me a sly grin. "And would this half-blood from another house possible be a stubborn, blonde-haired Gryffindor?" He gave me a knowing look.

"I am _not_ stubborn," I said crossing my arms, it only made Sirius smile wider. I scrunched my nose in annoyance and Sirius leaned closer so that he could drop his voice to a whisper.

"Come on, which Slytherin is it trying to get under your skirt?" he asked cheekily. His fingers danced on across the edge of my uniform skirt and I responded by kicking him hard in the skin. He kept smiling, waiting for an answer.

My words came out like a quiet, angry snarl. "Rabastan Lestrange."

" _Lestrange?"_ Sirius asked, his eyes widening for a minute. He shook his head. "You've got to be joking. Talk about a blood-status obsessed family…I thought for sure you were going to say Rosier. He's a Pureblood but he'll bed anything with legs…"

"I _wish_ it were Rosier," I said with an eye roll. "Rosier would at least be less persistent. Rabastan's a whole new kind of foul. I swear he never stops with the advances. I swear one of these days he's going too hex me or something, just to get me to stop saying no."

"Rabastan Lestrange," Sirius said shaking his head again. "That's… surprising, I'll give you that. I never would have predicted him for the type to be harassing half-bloods in his spare time. His brother Rodolphous is always all over my cousin Bellatrix at our Christmas parties. I don't think his parents would like to hear about this particular hobby of his."

"So, you think that's it then?" I asked him. "He just likes to bother me?"

Sirius shrugged. "Or he really wants to get you in the sack. Of course, it could just be a game with the Slytherins. Seeing which one of them can manage to get _Don'tkiss Meadno's_ to the four poster.." He let out a little chuckle and shook his head.

"What did you just say?"

Sirius' eyes snapped up in my direction lit with a new kind of excitement. A smile stretching across his face. "What do you mean?" he asked cockily, like he already knew the answer.

"What did you mean? That phrase you just used, it sounding like my name, but.." I trailed off, more confused than I had been before.

Sirius' face was shining now, completely excited. "Come on, you can't tell me you've never heard _Don'tkiss Meadno's_ before."

He made sure to say those words very carefully, _Don't'kiss Meadno's._ I didn't have to know exactly what it meant to know that it wasn't a kind nickname.

" _Don'tkiss Meadno's?"_ I demanded shrilly, dropping the quill in my hand so loudly in made a clanking sound as it slammed down on the table. All of the people who were in listening distance of us in the library lifted their eyes to watch us with a mild curiosity. "What the bloody hell is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Sirius looked as if he couldn't decide whether he was uncomfortable or had been given a precious gift. A small smile crossed his face. "I can't believe this is the first time you're hearing about this."

I could feel myself growing angrier, the more pleased he looked. _"Sirius Black, I swear to Merlin if you don't tell me what it means, I will hex you into-"_

He put his hands up defensively and gave me a tiny eye roll. "Alright, Meadowes don't get your knickers in a twist." He scanned the people closest to us to make sure no one was listening in anymore and then turned to me with a tiny smirk.

"I guess in third year or something you went to Hogsmeade with Damocles Belby," Sirius started, he watched me as if expecting me to confirm this. I nodded quickly, annoyed. "And well I guess it didn't go well and Damocles started going on and on about how you were uptight and you know a prude. It was his favorite story to tell for awhile, and then he came up with the nickname and it was catchy, and some of the boys in our year picked it up. I don't know it sort of caught on, I guess and people headed the warning. You never went out with anyone else after that, or expressed much interest, so people sort of believed it. For awhile it was bit of a game amongst the boys in the year, they all wanted to be the one to soften you, but when you didn't return the gestures, they figured it was true and sort of stopped asking you out."

He scanned my face to see if I was offended, but my face was blank. I was too beyond furious to let any tiny ounce of emotion seep through my face.

"I can't believe no one ever told you that," Sirius said shaking his head. "Didn't you ever wonder why no one asked you out anymore. I mean, you're a good-looking bird."

" _Don'tkiss Meadno's_ ," I repeated quietly, furious. I could feel my wand starting to feel extremely heavy in my pocket, as fury coursed through my veins. Of course. This made so much sense. Why the boys in our year seemed so uninterested in me, why everyone kept such an arm's distance away. I had always assumed it was because I was closed-off. That having dead parents and growing up in an orphanage had given me a bad aura or something. But to have it be because of Damocles Belby? All I could feel was rage. I wondered how many people had used the stupid term since he made up. How many whispered conversations had been had about me or about how uptight I was. I shuddered as I thought of Gideon Prewett hearing it.

It had just hit a little too close to home. Out of all my friends, I was the one who has the most wholly inexperienced with boys at Hogwarts. Marlene spent half her time bed-hopping thought the houses, and both Lily and Mary had had several steady boyfriends over the years. It wasn't as if I had had no experience with boys. There was a muggle boy in London, Oliver Jenkins, whom worked at the paper shop around the corner from the orphanage. I sometimes went out with in the summer, but at Hogwarts, my record was zero. Probably because of stupid, Damocles Belby.

I ripped my charms book off of the desk and yanked my backpack off of the chair, almost knocking it to the ground as I made my way out of the library, seething with anger. Twenty minutes before, I was sure I would never be as furious at anyone as I was at Rabastan, but Belby had successfully fixed that.

"Meadowes! Hey, where are you going?" Sirius was at my heels in an instant, as I left the library and headed in the direction of Ravenclaw Tower.

His legs were twice as long as mine, and matched my stride no matter how fast I walked. "Where _are_ you going?"

My eyes were hard as steel, lit with irritation and purpose. "I'm going to hex Belby, isn't it obvious?"

Sirius chuckled. "As much as I'd like to watch you stomp your way up to Ravenclaw Tower and hex Belby right in his fat nose, Mafalda Hopkirk will probably go and find Flitwick and you'll just end up losing points for Gryffindor."

I crossed my arms across my chest. "Doubt it. I've never lost a single point for Gryffindor."

"Dragon dung," Sirius said shaking his head. "Everyone's lost points."

I shook my head. "Not me. I've had a couple of detentions, but I've never lost a point from our house. I doubt McGonagall would start now."

"If you think it's worth it, go ahead," Sirius warned.

I was starting to get annoyed now. If there was one person I didn't think would stop me from hunting down a member of an opposite house to hex, it was Sirius Black. It made me suddenly wish it were James Potter standing in the corridor with me. Sirius was acting an awful lot like Remus.

I gave him a pointed look. "When did you, of all people start becoming a moral authority? Don't you live for this sort of thing? You and James hex Hufflepuffs for fun."

" _Hufflepuffs_ , not Ravenclaws. They're too clever."

"Yeah, well. I'm clever too."

"And thoroughly pissed off," Sirius added. "If I've learned anything from the almost five years of mischief I've caused at this school, it's this; revenge is a dish best served cold."

He was right. If I were to charge into the Ravenclaw common room right now, or even the house table at dinner, it would be a rash decision, especially ridiculous considering he had started this whole thing years ago. I should just be mature, get over it and pretend that I had never heard it. I hated that Sirius was right. It made me hate Belby even more.

"What an arseholse," I swore under my breath. "An attention seeking, exaggerating idiot!"

"What did I do?" Sirius asked jokingly.

I wanted to snarl. "I went on one date with Belby. _One._ Two years ago. And you know what? I _didn't_ kiss him. Not because I'm a prude, but because he was bloody boring!"

"You tell him," the hook-nosed witch in the portrait behind me said encouragingly.

Sirius shrugged. "Look, it's really not that big of a deal. That's why I thought you already knew. If you're really that bothered by the reputation, ten minutes in a broom closet with me could completely change how people view you."

I cast him a dark look that made him grin even wider. "Somehow I don't think shacking up with the biggest bachelor at Hogwarts is going to make people stop discussing my personal life."

"Why not give it a go, anyway?" Sirius joked, wiggling his eyebrows. I elbowed him in the ribs.

People were starting to fill the corridor, chatting in happy, loud voices as they made their way to dinner. Sirius and I followed them, pushing past them some of the slower first years as we did.

Our friends were already clustered around the House Table when we got there. Marlene was eyeing a piece of pie across the table wistfully, and Lily was discussing the newest potions lesson with Mary at length. I dropped my bag down angrily on the bench and all three of them looked at me, confused. Beside them, Remus had a textbook open, while Peter and James tried to pelt bits of rolled up napkin at the back of Landon McKinnon's head.

"Which one of you wants to tell me why in two years, _Don'tkiss Meadno's_ has never come up?" I demanded of them.

Marlene instantly started coughing on the piece of chicken in her mouth and Pumpkin juice came out of Peter's nose. Lily and Mary both looked extremely guilty. James gave Sirius a sly look.

Marlene frowned. "Sorry, Doe. I didn't think that was something you'd want to know."

That was a lie. She didn't tell me because she didn't want to hurt me. I knew that if I had concealed something like that from Marlene, a screaming match in the common room have ensued. She got mad when I didn't tell her Sirius mentioned her in passing.

Lily nodded her head in agreement. "Honestly. It was stupid, ridiculous rumor. I thought you were above hearing things like that."

"Damocles Belby's a prat," Mary added quickly. "You had already told us that."

I crossed my arms as I gave them all a hard, unrelenting stare. "It was still something I should have known."

They gave me guilty nods and I sighed, relenting. I didn't want to be angry at them. I had had enough irritation today to last a lifetime. Between Rabastan and now this, I couldn't wait for this week to be over. It was perfect time for a Hogsmeade visit.

"I suppose you told her about that?" Remus asked, throwing a pointed look in Sirius' direction.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "So? You think Meadowes doesn't deserve to know."

Remus rolled his eyes. "It would have been tactful not to tell her, Padfoot."

Sirius shrugged. "Tact isn't in my nature."

James ignored them. "I wouldn't let it bother you much, Doe. I heard Odie Macmillan say the other day in Herbology that you're a looker." He looked pointedly at Sirius when he said this. James turned back to me and offered an encouraging smile.  
Lily gave an annoyed cough. "Like she needs your confirmation that she's attractive."

"It's not my confirmation, Evans, it's Macmillan's. I've only got eyes for _you_."

Lily's eyes narrowed. "You're a pig."

Marlene swiftly changed the topic by asking Lily about her plans for Hogsmeade, and suddenly the conversation turned into a nicer, politer one that had been about to begin with Lily and James.

Eventually it had become a nice meal, and Mary's spot -on impression of Lily in potions had everyone doubling over in laughter. Before the meal ended, I looked up and found a pair of emerald eyes staring me down from across the Slytherin table.

Rabastan offered me a confident smirk and winked, making my stomach feel like it was made of lead.

 _It's just a game to him_ , I reminded myself as I stared down at my dinner plate. _He doesn't want anything except to get a rise out of you._

But when I looked back up and found those eyes pouring back into mine, I couldn't fight the terrible thought that it could be a bit more than that.

* * *

"But how cold is _cold?_ " Marlene whined on Saturday morning, clutching the tweed mini dress in her hands, a desperate pleading look on her face.

Lily shook her head at her disapprovingly. "Cold as a cauldron, Marlene. If you wear that you'll be miserable."  
"Ugh," Marlene threw the dress down on her bed and tore back through her wardrobe searching for something more weather-appropriate to put on. Mary moved to help here, going through all of her sweaters and skirts trying to find something that would satisfy Marlene's desire to remain warm but show as much skin as humanly possible.

I was silently glad that I wasn't going on a date this Hogsmeade trip. It was unseasonably chilly for October, and I was glad to be able to bundle up in jeans and a thick, caramel colored sweater, not feeling any pressure to dress girly or feminine.

Lily was dressed for warmth too, wearing her a dark purple knit sweater and thick black pants. She though had spent a great deal of time twisting her dark red hair into an intricate plait that complimented her narrow face. I always wondered what it would be like to look as pretty and striking as Lily did. My eyes were too big to pull my hair back like that, I'd look like an alien.

Eventually after an almost fit, Marlene managed to find a pair of tights thick and warm enough to get away with the tweed dress and the four of us headed down to the grounds, snacking on the toast that Mary had run down to the Great Hall to sneak upstairs for us.

"God, I hate that tree," Marlene said as we passed the Whomping Willow. It had just demolished a bird with once nasty swipe of its branches. I couldn't blame her; the thing was lethal. Ever since Davey Gudgeon almost lost an eye to the tree, most of us left it alone, but every now and then some brazen second year would pelt rocks at its base until it got annoyed and took a swipe at them. Sometimes we'd sit on the grounds and watch if there was nothing else to do.

The grounds were already alive with students, even this early in the morning. Everyone clambering to check their names off of Filch's list and head for the village. The third years who had never been before we're talking eagerly about all the things they couldn't wait to see.

Marlene and Mary waited off to the side politely for their dates, while Lily and I headed straight down to the village.

"It's always so crowded on the first trip of the year," Lily commented as we had to slowly push through the throngs of Hogwarts student's crowding the cobblestone street. They were all crowding the tiny town to find something to do. Third years were staring around in wonder at all of the things that the older students had already tired of. I chuckled as a pair of them eagerly made way for the Post Office. While impressive the first time you saw it, and routinely for some of the muggleborns students, the Post Office generally lost interest after its first visit. We hadn't visited it since the first time in third year.

"If they think that's interesting, wait till they see the shrieking shack," I muttered, watching them trip over themselves to make it through the door. "Any chance you want to revisit it?"

Lily's face instantly scrunched up as she considered the possibility of the going anywhere near the haunted building. "No thank you. I _still_ haven't forgotten last year. I'm seriously considering not getting you or Marlene Christmas presents this year because of it."

"You and Mary are so sensitive," I joked as we walked the familiar path to the town's smaller bookshop, _Blotts._

Lily shook her head, laughing in disbelief. "I think it's _perfectly_ normal to be afraid of the most haunted building in Britain. It's not my fault nothing scares you or Marlene."

"Marlene was too scared too actually _go in_." I reminded her, proud of the memory. "I totally planned too if we hadn't run into Slughorn and had all the fun ruined."

" _Had the fun ruined_ , saved us from dying at the hands of vicious, shrieking ghosts, either or."

She giggled as she pushed open the door to the bookshop, and the smell of wooden shelves and books, both new and old, wafted in our noses.

The tiny witch who ran the shop greeted us warmly and spent the first few minutes showing us the new displays, where Lily fawned over the newest book by Bathilda Bagshot.

"I just love her," Lily said stroking the cover. "I finished A History of Magic on holiday this year."

"You would bring a 1,200-page book to holiday," I said chuckling and flipping through the newest copy of _Defensive Practical Weekly._

Lily grinned. "Come on, it's a downright pleasure read after Monte Poste Potions, but if it makes you feel better, I also brought a copy of Witch Weekly."

"Well you'd need it after covering all of the history of every witch and wizard in the world."

"You should have seen the fit Petunia pitched when she saw I had brought it to the beach," Lily said shaking her head, as she flitted through the aisles. "It wasn't as if anyone could actually _see it_ , we had the beach to ourselves, but you know Tuney, she doesn't like ever being reminded of what I am." Her eyes darkened immediately, staring down at the bottom of the shelf, and then flitted back towards me as if it had never happened.

"Is she still just as bad as before?" I asked her quietly.

Lily looked crestfallen. "Most of the time. She practically ignores me when I'm home now, if she's not being outwardly cruel. And it's hard, you know? Because I do actually miss her sometimes. I spent the whole summer trying to do something with her, but she turned me down every time calling me and Sev, freaks. Merlin, she loves that word."

I felt for Lily. I had never had a sibling, despite desperately wanting one. I couldn't imagine what it was like to have grown up with someone only to have them suddenly hate you. I had met Petunia a dozen of times since I had been friends with Lily, and while I thought she was an uptight, stuck-up muggle, I knew Lily had once adored her. She used to be fun, she would tell me, before Lily had gone off to Hogwarts. I had trouble seeing any of that left in her cruel, judgmental face, but had taken Lily's word for it. Still, I couldn't imagine living with someone who could be so cruel to you.

"You know she's barmy, right?" I pressed her. "You're not a freak. Petunia just doesn't understand anything about magic, or she's jealous because you get to do it. It has nothing to do with you, Lils. You're brilliant."

Lily flashed me a wide grateful smile. "Thank you, Doe. That means a lot. Sev said the same things, but it's different with him, because he hates her so much, probably because of how cruel she can be…"

I had a sinking suspicion that Severus' aversion to Petunia might run a little deeper than just what she said to him. I knew that despite being very good friends with Lily, Severus despised other muggleborns. He was always going on long-winded rants about his distaste for muggles, often when Lily wasn't around. But I didn't dare say that to her. I knew how much Lily cared for him, and how she'd defend him. Lily was loyal like that.

"You know, speaking of Sev," Lily said adding another book to the growing stack in her hands, "he told me this joke the other day I think you'd like about a Unicorn, a Pureblood and a bezoar."

I skipped immediately over the section of books about Herbology and raised a blonde eyebrow at my friend. "Snape told a joke?" The idea seemed ludicrous, like McGonagall loosening her hai and doing a little jig around the Transfiguration classroom.

"Snape has a sense of humor," Lily assured me, her face thin and honest. "It's just darker than most."

"I saw him laugh at a dead spider the other day."

Lily cracked a tiny smile. "Well you know, Sev. He's…well he's always had interest in darker things, that doesn't mean he'd ever act on them or anything. He really is interesting if you got to know him."

I'd personally rather make friends with the giant squid than Severus Snape, but that seemed unkind to point out. His interest in the Dark Arts was a little too alarming for me to ignore it, like Lily did.

"I'm sure he is."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "You know, you hang out with Sirius Black, even though I think he's nothing more than James Potter's lackey. I thought you of all people would understand that sometimes people are a little different than you think they are."

She made a fair point. While I wasn't nearly as good of friends with Sirius as she was wit Severus, I understood the point she was making. Sirius could be a touch more mature and even fun than he let on.

"Point made," I told her. "Although I don't know if you could compare the two. You're good friends with Severus."

Lily tucked her hair over her shoulder and gave me a mischievous smirk. "At the rate you two are going, I don't doubt you'll become _very good_ friends with Sirius Black."

I stopped flipping through the books in front of him and met her eyes.

I was used to people I didn't know well suggesting this. As if someone couldn't spend any time with the handsome bachelor Sirius Black without falling into bed with him. But from Lily, it seemed strange. Especially considering her inherent dislike for James and Sirius.

"Very funny, Lily," I said rolling my eyes. "Sirius and I aren't even that good of friends. We're acquaintances more than anything else. House-mates."

Lily gave me a look that suggested she didn't think that was true and I handed her another one of the new books to distract her.

"Come on, I think there's a new Miranda Goshawk book over there that we can drool over."

Lily and I took our time in the bookshop, without Mary or Marlene there to beg us to hurry up, and after a little over an hour and a half we both left the shop arm in arm, each of us the proud new owners of several heavy, leather bound books.

We poked through a few more of the shops, drooling over new solid gold cauldrons and eagle feather quills that would have considerably lightened our money bags. It was nice to just spend some quality time with Lily. Even though she was my best friend, I had barely seen her the last few weeks and when I had, we were both bogged down with homework. It was nice just to wander around and talk. When we got bored of miscellaneous shopping, we headed over to Honeydukes and salivated over their new collection of tropical flavored sugar quills.

"What do you think?" Lily asked holding up two brightly colored boxes. "Sugar Quills or Pink Coconut Ice?"

She held them out to me as if it was the most serious quandary she had been faced with in her lifetime. It made me smile. Lily was very serious about her candy.

"Well if you get the Pink Coconut Ice, Marlene will probably steal it, and if you get the sugar quills, Mary will," I admitted honestly.

Lily sighed. "You know what? You're right. I'll just get these for them, and then go get a couple of chocolate frogs for myself. You know how they are when they go on dates, neither of them will probably even enter Honeydukes in fear of looking gluttonous in front of their dates, but then will try to eat everything we bring back to the dormitory." Lily tossed both of the snacks into her shopping bag and then picked up a wrapped pumpkin pasty from the counter.

"I assume you want one of these?" she asked with a wide smile, adding it to the box of fizzing whizbee's I had in my hand.

"You know me well, Evans." I told her taking it gingerly from her hands.

We headed to the back of the store, where an entire wall had been devoted solely to hanging chocolate frog cards behind the display of sealed boxes. A glass cabinet enchanted with a silvery spell stood in the middle showcasing some of the rarest cards. It was always a popular spot for the third years to visit, and press their noses against the case. Displayed inside it this week, was an Agrippa. The card sat on a velvet pillow. It was a very hard to find card, and Lily stared at it dreamily.

"What I wouldn't give for an Agrippa," Lily said shaking her head as she put a box of chocolate frogs in her bag.

"You would probably have one already if you hadn't been raised by _muggles,_ " a voice sneered coldly behind us.

Narcissa Black was staring down at Lily with narrowed bitter eyes, her faithful lackeys Elizabeth and Tracey at her sides. All of them were sneering at Lily in a confrontational manner, their noses upturned in the air, as if even being in the same room with a muggleborns bothered them to their core. Lily stared right back at them and puffed out her chest. Her hand lingering down by her wand pocket.

"Of course, I have _three_ Agrippa's at home," Narcissa added. "I suspect you do too, Elizabeth."

Beside her Elizabeth nodded, slowly popping a sugar quill on a stick in and out of her mouth. Her dark eyes were focused tightly on Lily.

"Because that's what happens when you've _grown up_ in the wizarding world," she added. "Instead of joining it at eleven like some muggle playing dress up."

Lily narrowed her green eyes to slits and stared back at Narcissa coldly. "Do you have something to say to me, Narcissa?" she asked boldly, her confidence growing as she stared back at her with a fiery intensity "Or have you just come to insult my parentage? Because if that's the case, go ahead. Your prejudice doesn't bother me."

Elizabeth laughed. "Prejudice? That's a laugh. It's not prejudice if it's true, _Mudblood._ "

Anger and hurt flashed quickly across Lily's wide green eyes and her lips turned white. I knew it didn't matter how many times Lily heard them use that foul slur, it always hurt her. Something they seemed to know. Elizabeth's mouth curved into a smile and Narcissa giggled. It infuriated me. I wasn't going to let them talk to her like that.

"Ignore them Lily," I said, throwing a pointed sneer at the group of Slytherins in front of us. "They're clearly jealous that they're all repeatedly showed up by someone who didn't have an extra eleven years of magical education and still shows them up in every class."

Lily's face brightened for a moment, and Narcissa let out a disgruntled noise.

"What is it with you Gryffindors?" she sneered. "You think so highly of yourselves."

Lily rounded on her with more anger than I'd ever seen. "US!?" She roared so loudly everyone in the shop could have heard it. "Were not the one's running around announcing our blood content every five minutes."

Narcissa cocked an eyebrow. "Well no you couldn't, could you? You're all a bunch of mudbloods and blood-traitors." She cast a specific look in my direction when she said the latter, something I was used too. My mom was a blood-traitor in the eyes of the Slytherins.

"Better than being inbred," I snapped, crossing my arms across my chest, making sure to make specific eye contact with Narcissa. "Keep the bloodline's close? More like _keep it in the family._ "

My insult had the desired effect on Narcissa. Her upper lip curled in rage as her hand reached for her wand. "You're going to pay for that one," she hissed.

But Lily was quicker than her, and already had her wand pointed at her. The problem was, so did Elizabeth. She pointed her wand straight at me and shouted _"Langlock!"_

I immediately felt my tongue fly to the roof of my mouth and stick there. It didn't matter how much I fought it, it had seemed to seal itself there. My hands flew over my mouth as I shrieked, and no sound came out. She had jinxed the tongue to the roof of my mouth. I couldn't talk and certainly couldn't say any incantations. Lily reached for my arm, grabbing it tightly and staring furiously at Elizabeth.

"There!" Elizabeth said haughtily, twirling her wand in her hands. "That should stop you from spewing anymore ridiculous lies."

Lily shot her a nasty look and dropped our Honeyduke's bags. "Let's go," she urged. "They're not worth getting banned from Hogsmeade over."

I still couldn't move my tongue or protest, so I had to settle for shooting daggers at them with my eyes as Lily dragged me from the shop by my arm. The three Slytherins grinned and waved dramatically at us as we left. It wasn't until we were back on the cobblestone street that Lily pulled out her wand and muttered the counter curse. Immediately my tongue dropped from my mouth and I was able to move it again.

"You alright?" Lily asked quickly.

I nodded. "I hate them. Absolutely hate them," I shook my head furious. "They come in there and start a fight, calling you a..you-know-what, and then they jinx _me?"_

"I know," Lily told me. "They're foul, but there's nothing we can do about it without sinking to their level, and we're better than that. We have to say the fighting for the House Cup."

I ran my hands back over my mouth, still fighting the feeling that my tongue weighed several hundred pounds. "It would be fun to hex them back, just once."

Lily chuckled and nodded in the direction of the Three Broomsticks, "Come on, let's get a butterbeer and we'll feel better."

Though the only thing I wanted to do was charge back into Honeyduke's and hex the smiles straight off of Narcissa and Elizabeth's stupid faces, I followed Lily to the Three Broomsticks. Just like every other Hogsmeade visit, it was crowded with Hogwarts students and we had a little bit of difficulty finding an open table. We ended up at one of the high tables, that stood a bit above the rest of them and gave us a good view of everyone else in the pub. As one of the waiters drifted by and Lily ordered us two butterbeers, I watched the other groups of people gathered around.

Most of them were couples. As if every single other person at Hogwarts had decided that this was the only weekend left for them to ask someone out. Across the room, Marlene and Sturgis were shoved into one of the tiny dark booths in the corner, wrapped around one another tightly, while Caradoc Dearborn watched and grimaced. A few booths down from her I saw Sirius Black and Imogen Warbeck sharing one of the tiny tables together. He was telling her a story with his hands and she had her long blonde hair in her hands as she laughed every few seconds. They looked like they were having fun. I looked away immediately, suddenly a little bothered.

"Oh look," Lily told me as the waiter brought us our drinks. "Alice and Rylie are sitting together. They made up, then."

"Were they fighting?" I asked her, trying very hard to ignore Sirius and Imogen.

Lily nodded. "Yeah I forgot you were tutoring when it happened. Alice and Rylie got into a little spat about Frank Longbottom on Thursday in the common room."

"Frank Longbottom?" I asked. "What did he have to do with anything."

Lily scrunched her nose up, and I knew it was because she hated to gossip. Everyone loved Lily and always confided things in her. Even if she never spilled their secrets, she hated talking about people without them there. Loyalty.

"Yeah. Well I guess Marjorie Waspburn asked him to Hogsmeade and he said yes, and then well that put Alice into a little bit of a mood and she snapped at Rylie or something, and you know how sensitive she is. The whole thing was a little trivial if I'm being honest. I'm glad to see they got over it."

And clearly, they had. Alice and Rylie were both smiling and pouring over a copy of Witch Weekly while they sipped there butterbeer.

"Me too," I told her eagerly. "They _never_ fight, it would be like me and you fighting."

Lily grinned. "Only happened once and I still stand by the fact that it was your fault, Meadowes."

"I swore I'd never tell James Potter who you fancied ever again, didn't I?"

"And don't you ever forget it."

We both laughed and drank our butterbeer slowly, reminiscing on old memories and talking nervously about our O.W.L's. I went to the bathroom after we had been there about an hour, and on my way out I spotted an older wizard sitting alone at the table. Everyone seemed to be giving him a wide bearth, and the ones who did look at him were casting him odd sidelong glances. His hair was pale blonde and streaked with grey, and he was scowling down at a copy of the Daily Prophet in front of him. One eye was dark and narrowed, the other was fake and a electric blue, rolling around in his head and zeroing in on people at random. Beneath the table, a wooden leg stuck out in front of him. There was a tall glass of brandy in front of him, but he only seemed to be drinking from a hip flask he kept clutched tightly in his hand. I recognized him instantly though the last time I had seen him had been four years ago, at my parent's funeral.

Mad-Eye Moody, the auror.

I mulled about inside about whether or not I should bother him. I had my doubts as to whether he would even remember me, but in the end, I decided it wouldn't matter. Back at my table, Lily was in an animated conversation with Amos Diggory, and I doubted she would notice if I was a few more minutes. Gathering all of the courage I had, I made my way to his table.

"Um..Mr. Moody?" I asked quietly. He looked up, his scowl not leaving his face. I felt an immediate sense of regret that I had to squash as I offered him a smile. He scanned my face for any sign of recognition, still scowling when he seemed to find none. I hadn't expected him to recognize me.

"Do I know ya?" he asked hoarsely, his magical eye running over me quickly, whizzing as it did.

I tried to offer him a smile. "I'm Doe Meadowes," I reminded him. "Aurelia and Darius M-"

I didn't have time to finish my statement. Recognition flooded his face quickly as he nodded, superimposing the image of eleven year old me, onto the girl in front of him.

"Right, right. Course." He said. "Been a while, hasn't it?"

"About four years," I told him, nodding.

Four years since I sat in that cold, dreary room in the auror's office, listening to the other aurors ask me question after question about my parents and my mom's family, forced to look at family photos of Aubleus and help them piece together who might have been responsible for making me an orphan. It had only gotten better when Moody had come in. He asked questions too, but he didn't beat around the bush. Moody was curt and honest. He had made me feel like he would do his best to catch whoever was responsible. I had liked him. Respected what he did.

"Take a seat," Moody nodded at the empty chair across from him. Despite being alone, he had sat at a roomy wooden table. I took the seat, ignoring the strange look I got from Odie Macmillan one table over. He was too far over to hear our conversation and for that I was grateful. He didn't need to know what I was going to ask Moody. That was my business.

"So I take it you grew up alright then," Moody said. "Gryffindor, huh? Makes sense, knowin who your parents were. That orphanage treating you all right?"

As the auror in charge of my parent's murder, Moody knew just as much about my personal life as Dumbledore did. It was almost comforting to speak to him, like a long lost relative. I didn't have to pretend anything if he already knew the truth.

"As well as too be expected, I guess," I aid shrugging.

Moody shook his head, "Absolute codswallop that those Greengrass' wouldn't take you in. I mean, I didn't expect much from those Grandparents of yours, not after who they raised, but not even an aunt or some ruddy uncle. Disgusting." He scowled. "I'd have sent you to a nice wizarding family if it were me, but I guess Dumbledore knows best."

"It's really not that bad," I told him, feeling a strange upsurge of loyalty towards Dumbledore. "There are challenges, but I think that would be the case no matter where I lived without my parents." I cast a look to make sure no one was listening in to our conversation and they didn't seem to be.

"Listen," Moody said looking me directly in the eye. "I know what you're going to ask me and we haven't seen a trace of Aubleus. Not since that eyewitness two years ago."

The tiny sliver of hope I had been holding onto upon seeing him, cracked into a thousand tiny pieces inside my chest. Aubleus was too smart, too clever to be caught by the aurors. He had been on the run for four years, I don't know why I thought he'd be caught.

Moody read the disappointment on my face. "Know that's not the answer you wanted to hear, but we'll catch him soon enough. No one can hide forever. Not in a world this small."

"Yeah," I said softly. "I suppose that's true."

Moody offered me a look that I suppose he meant to be sympathetic but still had a touch of a scowl behind it.

"You know," I told him, as he took another sip from the flask in his hand. "I think I'd like to help someday. Help catch wizards like him." The words had slipped from my mouth before I had the chance to stop them.

"Be an auror?" Moody asked, a wide grey eyebrow raised. The magical eye began to whirl faster. I surveyed me carefully to see if I was serious. I nodded firmly, it had been an ambition I had since my parents had died. Moody looked like he might be in disbelief.

I didn't know if it was because I was a girl, small or a half-blood. It wasn't exactly a winning combination to secure one of the hardest to come by jobs at the ministry. It was an unwritten rule that the best jobs went to Purebloods. Anyone who wasn't, was already fighting an uphill battle.

"Then I look forward to seeing your application," Moody said, taking a final swig from his flask. He dropped a handful of silver sickles next to his untouched glass of brandy, and gave me a curt wave goodbye, apparating instantly, and leaving me floored.

As unhappy as I was to hear that Aubleus was still running around free, I couldn't hide the pleasure I felt that Moody thought I had a chance of becoming an auror. If I managed to make as an auror, I could catch Aubleus myself. Or at the very least try and stop other wizards from doing what he had done.

I headed back to Lily and I's table with a wide smile on my face. It only faltered slightly when I passed Sirius and Imogen's table and saw them engaging in an enthusiastic kiss, which I tried to pointedly ignore. Amos Diggory was still in my seat when I got there.

He smiled widely when he saw me and immediately got up from my seat. He had really grown into a very attractive bloke in the last few years. He had thick brown hair and large, brown eyes. His arms were tanned and muscled from being on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, and he was tall. Overall, a very nice person to look at. He was lusted after by girls at Hogwarts almost as often as James or Sirius. But from the way he was looking at Lily, it seemed they might have some competition.

"Hey there, Doe," he said cheerily, flashing me a wide lipped smile, full of perfect, white teeth. "I won't bogard Lily any longer. You two enjoy Hogsmeade, and I'll see you back at school, Lily." He cast one final smile at Lily and then drifted away to his table full of Hufflepuffs.

Lily waved happily, a dreamy expression on his face as she watched him walk away.

"Seems Amos Diggory might be giving James Potter a run for his money, eh?" I asked her cheekily. "Quidditch players sure do like you."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Please don't compare the two. They have absolutely nothing in common. Amos is kind, and smart. Whereas James Potter is like Merlin's saggy bullocks."

I grinned. "Have a lot of experience with those, do you?"

Lily elbowed me in the ribs and we both become so overcome with laughter it took us a few minutes to recover. I had had such a good time in the Three Broomsticks with Lily, it had completely made up for Elizabeth and Narcissa' s jinx in Honeydukes. It was until after we finished and leaving that I happened to notice Imogen Warbeck leading Sirius Black out of the pub with a thrilled expression, that I felt a strange unexplained sense of irritation.


	6. All Hallow's Eve

6

All Hallow's Eve

As Halloween drew nearer, the excitement become palpable among the castle. The year was in that blissful time where the term was still new enough to be exciting, but close enough to holidays that it was hard to be miserable. Everyone was in a good mood and even the teacher's seemed to lighten the amount of homework they gave out in preparation for the Halloween Feast on Friday. The only people who didn't seem to be enjoying the spirit, was the Slytherins. They had been the subject of multiple pranks over the last week and a half that consisted of pepper in their pumpkin juice, and dungbombs in their common room. It had been heartening after how furious I was with Rabastan and Narcissa. It was good to finally see the Slytherins getting what they deserved.

Lily however, didn't seem to enjoy it the same way. Even after what had happened in Hogsmeade, she hated that the Slytherins were being targeted. We all knew that it was because there was no doubt that the Marauders were behind it, and her hatred of them combined with her friendship with Snape prevented her from enjoying it. Everywhere the Marauders went over the past few days, they were met with the appreciation of people from other houses. James and Sirius basked in the attention, doing everything short of confirming they did it by standing on the house tables and announcing it at lunch. Remus seemed to shrug away from it all, as if pretending he had no idea what was going on and there was no way he could possibly involved it. Peter however, clambered after all of them, looking petrified if McGonagall brought it up, and absolutely delighted when a student did.

The whole thing had come to a head when the Slytherins came into the Great Hall for breakfast the Monday before Halloween. Each of them wore a permanent scowl as they stomped into the hall in various stages of undress. Each of them looked more annoyed then the last. Some without their robes, other without their ties. It looked as if a quarter of the Slytherins had up and decided to come to the Great Hall without their ties or robes. As more disgruntled, but fully dressed Slytherins entered the common room, everyone realized why.

"No way," Mary said, her hand flying over her mouth.

 _"_ _They didn't!"_ Lily hissed.

Marlene's head doubled over in raucous laughter. "That's bloody brilliant!"

At first their robes and ties looked perfectly normal to me. Then I realized because they were the exact same one's _I_ was wearing. Someone, presumably the Marauders, had turned the Slytherins ties and robes scarlet, making them resemble the Gryffindors robes. I had to suppress a giggle as I looked at them. No wonder the Slytherins looked so miserable. There was no way they wanted to be brandishing our colors. The ones who were, were obviously too concerned with getting a detention for improper dress code. It wouldn't matter much to Slughorn what color the emblem on the robes were. He'd be furious if his entire house decided to show up with only half their uniform, basically forcing them to wear them. It was genius. I had to give the Marauders credit for this one. It was very well thought out.

It seemed everyone else had the same thought. I watched as they beamed from their seats at the House table, as people stopped to congratulate them on the job well done. Gideon Prewett and Sturgis Podmore both clapped James on the back, and Sirius actually bowed to Hestia Jones.

"That's really not fair," Lily said shaking her head at the Slytherin table.

I noticed her gaze drifting to where Snape was sitting. He and his gang of friends were among the group of Slytherins, including Narcissa and Rabastan, who had refused to wear the tarnished robes and ties. All of them were throwing daggers with their eyes at the Gryffindor's table.

"Come on, Lily," I said shrugging. "It's a _little_ funny."

She crossed her arms. "Maybe if it were another house. Turning Hufflepuffs robes scarlet would be funny, because they don't hate us. It's wrong to obviously target the house that's practically our enemy!"

Marlene stared at her in disbelief. "Lily, that's exactly _why_ it's funny. Stop worrying about the Slytherins, they can take care of themselves. They don't need you as their defenders."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Lily demanded raising an eyebrow.

Mary looked over at me sympathetically, and I returned her look. We both knew exactly where this was going. Marlene and Lily were about to have another Gryffindor V. Slytherin fight that would of course turn into a Us V. Them, Marauder Haters V. Marauder Symptathizers fight.

"You know exactly what that means," Marlene told her, her full lips parting furiously. "You're so worried about Snivellus, that you can never enjoy what happens to the rest of the Slytherins"

" _Snivellus?_ Nice Marlene, real nice. That's just cruel."

"Oh, I'm the one whose being cruel?"

"Yes, you are!"

"Have you already forgotten what happened to you and Doe in Hogsmeade?"

Marlene cast a pointed look at me, that I tried to ignore while I ate the eggs in front of me, but I couldn't ignore the feeling that my tongue was too heavy still. Mary sighed and took a bite of the crepe in front of her, clearly hoping the fight ended before it got worse.

Lily's eyes lit up with fury, and she didn't tear her venomous gaze away from Marlene. "Of course I remember what happened. But I also know it wasn't Severus who did that. It was Narcissa and Elizabeth."

Marlene rolled her eyes, her dark eyelashes fluttering in annoyance as she did. "If you honestly believe that Severus wasn't having a laugh with all of his friends about that later in the Slytherin common room, then you're delusional."

"You think _I'm_ delusional?" Lily demanded angrily.

"You heard me."

Lily crossed her arms. "You only think it's funny because you're precious Sirius, was involved. You fawn over the Marauders, just like everyone else!"

Marlene didn't answer her. She just ripped her bag from the seat and threw a saddened glance at Mary and I before disappearing further down the table to sit with Sturgis Podmore and her brother Landon.

Lily was still fuming as she walked her walk away, angrily gathering her red hair into a long ponytail.

"Am I being unreasonable?" she asked of Mary and I.

I took another bite of eggs and shook my head. "Sorry, Lily. I'm staying out of this. I've learned my lesson."

"Me too," Mary agreed. "If there's one thing I've learned about you and Marlene, you always disagree about Severus and the Marauders. I don't think either of you are right."

Lily frowned, and proceeded to finish her breakfast in silence. Further down the table, Sturgis wrapped an arm around Marlene's shoulder while she chatted with Hestia.

I could already sense that today was going to be a tough day, with Lily and Marlene at each other's throats, and when Slughorn strode into the Great Hall, I realized just how bad it was going to be.

Four third years trailed behind him, each of them carrying a wooden box full of letters. Every single person in the hall knew exactly what that meant.

Slughorn's Slug Club dinners. His exclusive gatherings of his most prized students. I did a silent prayer that they weren't the velvet envelopes. Those meant parties. The dinners were already stuffy, boring affairs that you couldn't politely turn down. The parties were just bigger, with outside guests.

Each one of the third years flitted to a different house table, passing out tiny envelopes of parchment to specific pupils as Slughorn watched dutifully from the high table. The other heads of houses watched with a mild interest, somewhat curious to see which of their students had gotten a letter. I kept my head down hoping they would skip past me. The third year at the Gryffindor table passed one to both of the Prewetts, Frank Longbottom, Carmichael McKinnon, Krysten Morris, Elena Eldritch, All of the Marauders except Peter, and Lily.

I actually groaned when she dropped the envelope down in front of me. Slughorn _always_ invited me, having taught my mom himself, and I could never find a polite way to turn them down. Some people got out of them from Quidditch Practice, or tutoring. James and Sirius so frequently had detention they could always get out of it, or just blatantly not show up. Lily never skipped them, she was among the group of people who loved them. I didn't see how she could. I detested them. I had never found a polite way to get out one before.

The envelope was thick and when I opened I found that it was an invitation to a Slug Club dinner on Thursday night. The night before Halloween. I thanked my lucky stars it wasn't on Friday night, so I wouldn't have to miss the feast. Slughorn had done that in our first and third years and I had suffered through both of them.

"I see you're invited again," Mary said reading the invitation over my shoulder. I thought she might look a little disappointed not to be going, he features screwed up strangely.

I shrugged. "Trust me, I'd rather not go. If you could take my place I'd give it to you in a heartbeat."

Mary squeezed my shoulder. "At least the food will be good."

"Fancy doesn't always mean good," I told her wrinkling my nose. "Remember that one time we had detention and _Filch_ brought us dinner? What was that vile thing he made us eat?"

"Pheasant," Mary said shuddering at the memory. "It was cold and I swear it had mold on it." She pretended to wretch as we made our way back to the dormitory. The rest of the day went just as poorly as the morning had.

After I told her I wanted to stay out of their fight, Marlene spent all of our shared Divination class swearing that her dream last night had been about jinxing all of Lily's hair off, and refusing to change the topic of conversation until I deciphered it for Professor Tellweather.

And in double Charms, Marlene and Lily refused to share the four-person desk we usually did, and I had to sit with Lily, Caradoc, and Sybil Trelawney.

Potions was easier, because Lily always sat with Severus, and was able to avoid Marlene entirely. I sat with Mary, and because neither of us were irritated with each other the class went exceptionally well and the bone-strengthening solution we made was just as perfect as Lily and Severus'.

Defense was the only class I got any sort of reprieve from my friends bickering and childish antics. We had moved on from defensive magic to offensive jinxes and Professor Marchbanks had actually allowed us to practice on one another. Sharing this class with the Slytherins, who were still brandishing their crimson uniforms and an attitude because of it, meant we had to focus. It was an environment I thrived in, and I was able to completely forget about Lily and Marlene's bickering as I racked my brain for the most complex and offensive jinxes I knew. After a half hour of this we had a regular lesson and took notes on what we learned from the practical's. Much to everyone's dismay, Professor Marchbanks assigned a lengthy essay on jinxes to be due the Monday after Halloween, meaning the weekend might not be the blissful holiday that everyone was expecting it to be. I didn't think that mattered much. Judging from the chilly attitude between Marlene and Lily, I doubted I would have a very fun weekend anyway. If they didn't get over there little spat soon, this was going to be a very tense Halloween.

* * *

Marlene and Lily hadn't spoken to one another in three days, and if they were forced to actually say something to one another in class, it was curt and loaded with subtle insults. Lily made it her mission to correct both Marlene and the Marauders at every opportunity, and Marlene even resorted to doing a cruel impression of Severus with James in the Great Hall, that made Lily even more furious. The situation made it very difficult for Mary or I to get through a lesson without sighing, or keeping them from lobbing quills at one another.

I didn't understand how they could still be fighting. Lily was friends with Severus, and Marlene thought what the Marauders did to the Slytherins was funny. Neither one of them was wrong, and it seemed like a stupid thing to fight about. I hated having to split my time between the two of them evenly, instead of hanging out altogether like we usually did. I hadn't seen Mary in days because we couldn't leave Marlene and Lily alone without World War Three breaking out between them.

By Thursday afternoon, I was actually thrilled to tutor Sirius because it meant I might have two hours without listening to my friends throw thinly veiled insults at one another in the dormitory while Rylie and Alice watched in horror.

I got to the library early, and opened the copy of the daily prophet I had stuffed in my robes while I waited for Sirius to show up.

The front page was decorated with another horrific headline about some half-blood couple who had been hauled out of their homes in London by the Death Eaters. It made me shudder and I immediately threw the paper open to the second page where there was a much less depressing article on a new goblin hired at Gringotts from Egypt.

"Surely you've got something better to do than read about banks?" Sirius asked, peering over my shoulder.

I closed the paper and gave him a wide smile. "Not if you're hanging around, Black" I replied cheekily.

Sirius plopped down in the chair beside me. "I do love when you're cheeky with me, Meadowes. It's like being locked in a room with Lily and James."

I groaned at his words. "Please don't bring up Lily, or people having rows with Lily. I do not think I can handle any more of that."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise?"

I wondered idly if Marlene would be angry with me for sharing this with Sirius, but then decided she wouldn't considered she spent half of History of Magic pelting Lily with feathers from her quill, while he watched chucking.

"Not me," I said sliding his charms homework over to him across the desk. "Marlene and Lily have been fighting all week."

Sirius nodded. "Thought I noticed something like that. Marlene's been a bit more present around us Marauders at mealtimes than she usually is."

I gave a grave nod. "Tell me about it. It's refreshing to have a conversation where I'm not stopping someone from hexing the other."

I immediately wished I hadn't said it, because Sirius' cocky face lit up with excitement. He leaned a little closer and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Could it be, Meadowes?" he asked, delighted. "You actually don't mind spending time with _me?_ "

"Shocking, I know," I told him as I slid the charm book at him. "Please don't ruin it. If you keep making that face, I'll head back to the common room and suffer through the Evans -McKinnon massacre of 1975."

Sirius chuckled and started scratching his quill across the parchment in front of him. "So am I allowed to ask why they're fighting? Or does that violate some kind or iron-clad bird agreement you've made?"

I shook my head. "It's stupid honestly. It was your prank that started the whole thing, dyeing the Slytherins robes crimson."

" _My_ prank?" Sirius asked with fake disbelief, his voice rising dramatically "I have _absolutely_ no idea what you're talking about. However, even though there was no way I could possibly be involved, can we acknowledge how skillful whoever did accomplish that must be. It was quite a feat don't you think?"

He grinned as if he was cleverer than anyone at Hogwarts. I raised an indignant eyebrow at him and he sighed. "Alright, alright you're clearly not going to compliment me, so continue."

"Lily thought you were being unfair to the Slytherins and Marlene told her that she ignores the Slytherins behavior because she's friends with Snape."

Sirius look unphased. "She does," he said matter-of-factly.

" _Anyway_ ," I said giving him a look from the corner of my eyes. "Lily was angry so she accused Marlene of siding with you and the other Marauders, and now they're not speaking. Well actually, they're not just not speaking. They're actively hating one another at the moment. Mary and I have to take shifts so they're not alone together."

Sirius paused for a moment, blinking his eyes as if he was honestly trying to understand what I had told him. After a minute, he looked up at me and nodded.

"No wonder you wanted to hang around me," he whistled quietly. "Birds are crazy."

"They're being crazy at the moment," I said turning back to the prophet. "Even the slug club dinner doesn't sound bad right now."

In truth, it didn't. You didn't have much time to socialize during Slughorn's dinners. He always led the conversations. It would be nice just to be around people from other houses.

Sirius traced his fingers over the parchment in front of him. "Are you going to that monstrosity?"

"I have too," I said morosely. "Slughorn always takes it out on your grades if you don't." Sirius made a face as if to say he had a way around that.

"Getting out of it with another detention, are you?" I asked him.

Sirius shook his head. "No, I'd love too, but Prongs' dad is making him go to this one, and I wouldn't deny my best mate the privilege of my company."

"How selfless of you," I chuckled, reading his homework over his shoulder. "And the answer to number three is the cheering charm not the contentment charm."

Sirius sighed and scribbled the answer out in ink and swearing under his breath. We spent the next two hours making sure his homework was correct, while he told me a very animated story about how Peter had managed to get a T on his dream journal in divination for admitting that the only thing he had dreamed about for the last month was Sabrina Zabini. When we finished, we headed back to Gryffindor tower to get ready for Slughorn's dinner. Most of the house was in the common room still. Marlene was sitting on one of the couches with Mary and Rylie. Sturgis was with her also, one of his tanned arms around her shoulders. They had been together for a few weeks now, and it was probably the longest relationship Marlene had had to date. Part of me, hoped it worked. Sturgis was a very attractive guy, and looed downright thrilled to be sitting with Marlene. He had a grin on his face that suggested any male in Gryffindor tower would have given his wand arm to be in his place, and he was probably right.

When Marlene looked up and spotted me, she sighed. "Lily is upstairs getting ready."

"Have you two made up yet?" I asked, hoping there had been a swift and peaceful resolution in my absence. From the look of exhaustion and sadness in Mary's eyes, I doubted there had been.

Marlene pulled her long blonde hair into a ponytail on the top of her head, acting as if she hadn't heard the question. "How was tutoring with Sirius?" she asked swiftly changing the subject of conversation. I sighed, wondering how long this could possibly last.

"Fine. Got his homework done, talked about the Slug Club dinner. Are you going?" I asked her. She had been invited to some of the parties in the past, but Marlene hated them and very rarely showed up even when she was invited, seeing as her potions grade mattered very little to her.

Marlene smirked. "Me? No way. Slughorn only likes _some_ of the McKinnon's. Melinda was the best potions brewer in the family, so she never missed one. He liked Myra because she was the perfect, pureblood over-achiever, and Carmichael for the same reason. But Meredith, Landon and I are too wild and under-achieving for his liking."

"Under-achieving," Sturgis snorted. "You?"

Marlene gave him a tiny smile, and rolled her amber eyes. "I'm already here, Sturgis. Flattery is unnecessary, but appreciated."

Sturgis leaned over and pulled Marlene closer to him, kissing her with an intense amount of energy. I decided to give them a moment alone and carefully made my way up the stone staircase to the dormitory.

Lily was sitting on her bed with a compact mirror open in front of her as she applied a generous amount of mascara to her eyelashes. Her lips were already coated in a shiny pink lipstick, and her hair was arranged in a neat ponytail. She had a ruffled, lilac dress hung on the frame of her bed, wrinkle-free and ready to go. Lily always looked perfect for things like this. She was an inherently prepared person.

She beamed when she saw me. "Hey Doe, I was wondering when you'd get here."

"Hey Lils, you look pretty," I told her joining her on the edge.

Lily smiled and handed me the lipstick in her hand. "My mom bought it for Petunia, but she thought it was for slags, so she gave it to me. I thought you might like it too."

"This is for slags?" I asked in disbelief. The tube of lipstick was a soft subtle pink, only a touch darker than my natural lip color. Professor McGonagall would have deemed it absolutely appropriate.

"It's Petunia," Lily reminded me. "She think's anything that's not flesh colored is for slags."

I uncapped the tube and rubbed a little across my lips. "Well I like looking like a slag then. Remind me to thank Petunia when I see her this summer. You know how she _loves_ me."

"I wouldn't let that bother you," Lily said. "I'm her sister and she thinks I'm the biggest freak at Hogwarts."

I reached down into my trunk and dug through it trying to find something that wasn't a uniform or jeans and a t-shirt. One of the many downsides to living in an orphanage during the summer, was I didn't have a lot of downtime for shopping. Everything I owned seemed to fancy or too casual.

The door to the bathroom opened and Alice trotted out, her tiny pixie cut flat and pinned with tiny silver hair clips. She wore a pink sleeveless sweater dress and looked like a fairy.

"Hi Doe!" she said happily floating over to her trunk. "Are you going to Slughorn's dinner too?"

"Yeah, I am. If I ever find something to wear," I said frowning at a simple black skirt in my hands.

"If it helps any, I've always liked that sparkly blue sweater you have," Alice said, reaching for a cardigan from her neatly organized, piles of clothes.

"The blue sweater!" I exclaimed diving into my trunk. "Of course. Alice you're a lifesaver."

Alice grinned as I unearthed the sweater from where it was balled up underneath my divination textbook and straightened it out. I had completely forgotten I had it. Lily and I had bought it the summer before.

"I forgot about that one," Lily said looking at it over the edge of her bed. "That was a fun day."

I paired the sweater with the black skirt and spent the next fifteen minutes doing my best to clean myself up and look as pulled together as my dorm mates. Alice lent me a pair of small silver earrings on our way out the door that I thanked her profusely for.

The common room was empty when we got downstairs, everyone was either at dinner or already left for Slughorn's chambers.

We walked quietly through the castle, chuckling as Alice hoped there would at least be Butterbeer rather than Slughorn's favorite cherry-flavored drinks, and Lily speculated about who would be invited from the other houses.

There was soft, melodic music playing through the corridor as we approached the dungeons, and a small shuffling of other students filing into Slughorn's chambers. Alice flitted off immediately when she saw Frank waiting for her at the entrance, his face brandished a wide, toothy smile as he noticed her. Beside me, Lily straightened up a little and waved when she saw Amos enter the room.

"Do you mind if I go say hello?" Lily asked, her face flushed with color. I shook my head, knowing Lily's particular affinity for him. She kissed me on the cheek and jogged ahead to walk in with him. It was just as dreadfully cold down there tonight as it was during potions lessons, and I almost wished I had brought a jacket.

I felt a pair of hands slam onto my shoulder, and I spun around expecting to find Rabastan Lestrange.

"Oops, sorry. Merlin, you look nervous," Amelia sputtered, holding her hands in the air. She had her brother Edgar beside her, his shiny Ravenclaw Head Boy badge pinned to his sweater proudly. He was just as freckled and wide-lipped as his younger sister, with the same strawberry blond curls. He was starting to look exactly as I remembered their dad looking when we lived next door to them. It made me think about what Amelia had told me about her father and the death eaters after him.

"I thought you were someone else," I told her shaking my head. "I should have known it was a Hufflepuff. Good to see you Edgar, it's been awhile." Edgar smiled.

"You're favorite Hufflepuff," Amelia reminded me as we walked into Slughorn's chambers behind a fifth year Ravenclaw, named Rita.

"That's like saying you're the easiest exam. The best of the worst," Edgar told her, ruffling his sister's hair. "Right, Doe?"

"Oh, absolutely," I joked.

I had forgotten how fun it was to be around Amelia and Edgar. When we were younger, we used to spend hours in each other's backyards, only coming in when our mothers demanded. My stomach dropped even thinking about it. My mother with her apron and long hair pulled out of her face. It made my heart ache.

"You house-obsessed fools," Amelia said dramatically.

In front of us, Slughorn's chambers had been obstructed by an abnormally large oak table, set with forty places, Slughorn's massive gilded seat in the middle. All around it, the other students were making their way to their seats.

Amelia took one look at the setting nearest her and groaned. "Names plates, really? We don't even get to choose where we sit?"

"That's so that the best and most important people can sit closest to Slughorn. Like Head boy and girl," Edgar joked. "Excuse me, I see Tara over there." Edgar disappeared towards Tara and Amelia rolled her eyes as she watched him disappear to where the Head Girl was sitting. "He's in love with her. She just doesn't know it. Anyway, maybe I'll see you when this is over."

"If it ever ends," I sighed. Amelia chuckled.

She disappeared over to the other side of the table to find her seat, and I started to scan the nameplates looking for my own. The more important and prized students were closer to Slughorn. Head boy and girl, most of the Slytherins, Damocles, and Lily were all on his side of the table. Lily sat in between Severus and Damocles.

My nameplate was on the other side of the table, situated between Gideon Prewett and James Potter, with Sirius and Remus on his other side.

Gideon and his brother were already sitting at the table when I got there. Gideon stopped his conversation when I sat down and grinned.

"Hey," he smiled broadly at me. "Should have known you'd be here. I swear the fifth years are giving every other year a run for our money."

I could feel the nerves threatening to spill over into my chest like they usually did when I talked to him. It took everything in me to keep my face from flushing with color.

"Says the prefect who got ten O.W.L.s," I said shaking my head.

Gideon flashed me a smile. "It was nine, actually I think McGonagall is the one spreading that rumor to make us sound better than the Ravenclaws."

"I don't blame her. They're downright annoying after exams. I don't see how anyone would want to relive one of McGonagall's 200 hundred questions tests."

"I'd rather detention honestly," Gideon assured me, his smile widening. It made his freckles more noticeable.

I noticed for the first time how nice he looked tonight. His long shoulder length hair was pulled back into it's usually ponytail, tied with a black leather string, and he wore a clean blue button-down shirt. I realized I'd never seen him outside of his uniform, or the dragon-hide jacket he usually wore. He looked nice cleaned up.

More people were filing into the room and the seats filled up quickly. I noticed all of the usual faces, prefects and skilled potions masters. Some people were there solely because of their famous last names or some defining trait that made them memorable.

Barty Crouch Jr.'s father was a high up in the ministry, and Sabrina Zabini only had a seat at the table because of how extraordinarily beautiful she was. Her dark hair and perfect features made even Marlene look average. It was probably the reason she seemed to only have male friends.

The music began to soften as the remaining few people staggered inside, filling the empty chairs around the table. James and Sirius were the last two to traipse through the door, laughing and slightly disheveled. I noticed James was still holding his wand in his hand, as if he had recently used it. Remus wasn't with them. Sirius wore a silk crimson shirt slightly unbuttoned, that fit him like a glove. He kept his hair messy. Several girls clocked him as he entered, but Sirius seemed unaware. He and James took their seats just as Slughorn stood and addresses everyone in the room.

"Welcome everyone," he said jovially. "I'm so glad you were able to make it to my dinner this evening. As usual, I wanted to invite some of the best and brightest at Hogwarts to enjoy some stimulating conversation and delicious food."

He snapped his fingers and a group of third and fourth years came around the corner carrying trays of soup, bread, and flagons of pumpkin juice. As they did, Slughorn leaned into the Antonin Dolohov and started a conversation about his father's new proposal to make Magic Carpets legal in England. Some of the student's closer to him joined in the conversation, and Gideon looked very bored. Beside him, his brother Fabian poked his wand at the goblet in front of making it spontaneously sprout legs.

I took the opportunity to lean over to James and Sirius while someone filled the non-legged goblets with pumpkin juice.

"Remus isn't coming?" I asked them quietly. Like me, Remus never missed one of these little dinners. He was always invited, and too paranoid about his grades to ever purposefully skip.

"Moony's mum wasn't doing so well," James said staring across the table as Lily and Snape talked in hushed voices.

I knew Remus' mum got sick very often and it made my stomach knot painfully every time I was reminded of it. I couldn't imagine what was like.

"Is she going to be alright?" I asked quickly, shredding a string on the sleeve of my jumper.

James nodded. "She should be fine. It happens fairly often, and she always pulls through."

Sirius leaned over James to whisper. "Why so curious Meadowes, got a thing for Moony, do you?"

I sighed. "Why is that always the first place your brain goes, Sirius? It couldn't possibly be that I'm just concerned for the mother of a friend and housemate that I've known for years?"

"That's nowhere near as interesting as what I was thinking," Sirius said wiggling his eyebrows.

Beside me, I could see Gideon attempting to help his brother transfigure his goblet back to his normal state, a feat that was becoming increasingly more difficult as it was started to run down the table.

Across the table, Slughorn had engaged Lily and Snape in a conversation about their potions skills.

"There's a few more Slytherins here than my liking," James said, twisting his fork angrily in his right hand. I couldn't blame him. There did seem to be a disproportionate number of emerald-clad guests. He hadn't taken his eyes off Lily and Snape.

"Think I could hex Snivelly from here without Slughorn noticing?" he asked Sirius quietly. I almost choked on my pumpkin juice.

"I'd say you have a fifty-fifty chance, Mate," Sirius said. "I say do it."

I shook my head. "Lily will definitely notice, and then I'll have to hear about it for the next week."

"I take it things haven't settled down in your dormitory yet then," Sirius said over James shoulder.

I shook my head. "Nope. Things are still very Cold War in there right now."

Sirius blinked "What in Merlin's name is a cold war?"

"Muggle war," I told him. "Don't worry about it. I momentarily forgot you're a pureblood."

"Lucky you."

James cleared his throat loudly. "If you two plan on talking over me through the entire dinner, I'm going to make Sirius switch seats with me."

"Good then, do it Prongs. I can't properly annoy Meadowes from this distance." Sirius patted James on the back and the immediately switched seats, just as a third year served a slice of meat on our plates. Slughorn's conversation was still mainly taking place with Slytherins and the other more prized students, and I doubted it would wander to our side of the conversation before dessert.

James nudged Sirius in the shoulder. "Oi, Padfoot. Regulus is staring at you, again."

Sirius' eyes flashed forward across the table and sneered at a third year sat directly across from him. "Ah, yes. I think they call that look; disappointment."

I couldn't help but follow Sirius' gaze to where his brother sat. Regulus Black had a scowl on his face as he stared down his older brother and the rest of us Gryffindors. It was astonishing how much he looked like Sirius. He was a little less attractive, having not inherited his brother's high cheekbones or tanned complexion. His face was pale and sharper, and his hair much shorter. He wore a cold, unwelcoming expression I couldn't imagine ever being on Sirius' permanently gloating face.

For only a fraction of a second his eyes darted from his brothers to sneer at James Potter and then at me. His cold eyes made me want to shiver, and I had trouble looking away as he turned and whispered something to Sebastian Mulciber.

"I take it you two don't exactly get along," I whispered to Sirius.

Sirius snorted. "He likes me almost as much as you like Rabastan."

"That can't be true," I said shaking my head. "He wouldn't be looking at you like that if he didn't care."

"Meadowes, you have no idea what my family's like," Sirius said with a shake of his head. "Regulus would love nothing more than to see me get what he thinks I deserve."

I didn't get the chance to ask him anything else. Slughorn had asked James a question about his father's work in the Accidental Magical Reversal squad, and then swiftly moved onto why Sirius thought he had been sorted into Gryffindor rather than Slytherin.

Sirius had chuckled. "Probably because I'm not as barmy as the rest of my family, no offense of course."

Slughorn had burst into loud laughter that shook the table, and Regulus looked ready to lob his fork straight at Sirius' head.

"He sounds like you my dear Ms. Evans," Slughorn said to Lily, still chuckling and clutching his robust stomach. "Always get such cheeky answers from you when I suggest you should've been in my house."

Lily flashed him a winning smile. "Sorry, Professor. But I'd rather snap my wand in half than ever don an emerald robe. I'm a Gryffindor girl at heart."

Snape looked absolutely miserable at her words, but I noticed James had cracked a tiny smile. Of course, he would be thrilled that Lily loved Gryffindor as much as he seemed too.

"That's my girl," he said, loud enough for Lily to hear. She shot a nasty glare at him as she took a sip from her pumpkin juice.

"You forget my dear just how ambitious Slytherins can be," Slughorn said, cheerfully. "I think you'd fit right in. I think maybe we sort too soon."

Lily was too polite to disagree but the noise she made in the back of her throat, said all that she needed too. It wouldn't matter if the sorting hat had been placed on her head five years ago or now. She was still just as much a Gryffindor as always. Snape seemed to know this too because he looked rather grim as he sipped from his goblet.

"Ah, and Ms. Meadowes," Slughorn said moving onto me. From across the table Rabastan's eyes drifted towards mine at the mention of my name. He winked, and I tried to ignore him.

"You certainly did well with the bone-strengthening solution last class," Slughorn pressed, "It was very near, perfect. Has me thinking that perhaps I should assign you a different potions partner more often, hmm?"

I didn't want to show how terrible I thought that idea was, so instead I offered him a small smile. "I think it might have just been luck, Professor."

Slughorn shook his head. "Nonsense, your mother was very gifted at potions, and most things to be honest. She was in my house of course, but alas like Mr. Black it seems the sorting hat chose another path for you."

I didn't know whether to smile or not, so I took another giant gulp of Pumpkin juice and waited until he moved onto Elena Eldritch, a third year whose aunt was a famous Quidditch keeper for the Holy-Head Harpies.

Soon after, the food was served. A hot pork roast and heaping mounds of potatoes and green beans on the side. It smelled delicious, but beside me Gideon was frowning slightly at it. His fork frozen in mid-air.

"Everything okay?" I asked him. His brother seemed to be tearing into the food beside him, and looked amused.

"Yeah, everything alright, Giddy?" Fabian teased, chuckling as he shoved a forkful of food into his mouth. He smiled at me while he did, and Gideon smacked him in the shoulder.

"Yeah, it's fine," he assured me. "I just don't eat meat. Freaks me out a little, you know, since I spend so much time around animals and such." Gideon stabbed one of the potatoes from the small helping of vegetables that they had served on the side, and plopped it into his mouth.

It was such a kind, reasonable answer, I was floored.

"Well, here." I picked up my plate and scraped my entire helping of vegetables onto his plate for him.

He stared at me with a small smile. "Thanks, Doe. That's really nice of you."

"Don't mention it."

Fabian chuckled. "Oh, he will." Gideon smacked him again.

The rest of the dinner went by excruciatingly slow. Slughorn made sure to have a long conversation with each person that really turned into how many famous people _he_ knew. James and Sirius were bouncing in their seats the entire time, as if they had somewhere they'd be rather be the whole time, and Fabian and Gideon took to making bored faces at me when Slughorn went on for too long. Several times I had to hide my laughter with coughing, to the point where Slughorn asked me if I needed a cough drop. At one point, after Snape had gone on a diatribe about how he thought Defense against the dark arts, focused too much on defense, his entire goblet of pumpkin juice exploded onto his face. Slughorn claimed it must have been a faulty goblet, and I pretended not see James wand sliding back into his pants pocket. But Lily seemed to be thinking around the same lines as me, because her intense gaze never drifted once from James. The evening extended on until well past dessert, and it was after ten before he finally bade us all good night, warning us to get back to our Common Rooms before we had Filch to deal with. James and Sirius were the first ones out of the room, and through the door.

I waited at the door for Lily, who was among the group of people still chatting happily with Slughorn.

"You were right. That had to have gone on for about ten years at least," Amelia said as she walked out of the door with her friend Charity Burbage.

Lily came bounding up to me a few minutes later, her hair shaken loose from the ponytail, with Snape at her side. I was surprised to see he hadn't slithered back to his other friends yet.

"That was a good one, don't you think?" she asked. "Well except for the goblet thing," she said turning to Severus, who still grimacing.

"It was alright," I said, shrugging.

"Potter," Severus snapped, seemingly having not heard me. "I notice he and Black seemed to be in quite the rush to get out of here. You aren't wondering where they went off too?"

"Not really," Lily said shaking her head. "I don't care where he goes or what he does."

This seemed to bring a small smile to Snape's face, especially as he looked at the scowl that had risen to Lily's features.

"Lupin wasn't there either," Severus pointed out. "Remember what I told you?" He cast a very pointed look at Lily, clearly not wanting to let me know whatever it was he was talking about.

Lily shook her head. "I don't that has anything to do with your theory, Sev. And anyway, I don't really want to talk about any of the Marauders anymore. We should get back to our dormitories before Filch catches us out here. Goodnight."

She waved to Snape, who returned it, sneered at me and then walked backwards back to the Slytherin common rooms.

"Good talk," I said sarcastically after him. Lily shook her head. "I don't know why he doesn't talk to you," she said as we headed up the staircase. "I think he'd like you fine. You're a lot like me."

"Snape doesn't like any Gryffindors other than you," I said shrugging. "It's just how he is."

Lily frowned. "I wish he wasn't like that. It might make it easier for him. People be more inclined to feel bad for him when the Marauders taunted him."

"I doubt he'll ever change it though," I told her. "He seems to really despise us all."

Lily sighed sadly, and I knew she was right. It was hard to feel bad for Snape no matter what the Marauders did to him, because he was such a surly person. He made it his mission to be cruel to everyone except his Slytherin friends, and Lily. I often wondered if Snape felt something more than friendship for Lily, or if it was just her kind, intoxicating presence that kept him close to her. It seemed invasive to ask her, even though we were close. If it were me, I wouldn't want anyone too.

"I happened to notice you and Gideon Prewett had quite a bit to say to one another tonight," Lily said excitedly. "I like him. He's always so nice to you."

I felt the blush creep back onto my cheeks, but before I could say anything else, I saw something out of the large window to my right that stopped me dead in my tracks.

A male deer trampled across the grounds at full speed chasing after some sort of large four-legged animal I couldn't make out, galloping towards the Forbidden Forest. Trailing behind it closely was a giant black dog. I moved closer to the window, but in the seconds, it took me to get there, all of the animals had disappeared into the forest, and the only thing I saw was the light from the full moon illuminating the empty grounds.

"What?" Lily asked, joining me at the window.

I didn't know what to say. It sounded crazy, even for Hogwarts where I knew dangerous creatures lurked around every corner. But three strange animals on the grounds? That seemed too weird.

I shook my head. "I thought I saw something, but it must have been a trick of the light or something."

"Maybe it was something for the Halloween feast tomorrow," Lily suggested. "You know Dumbledore always goes all out."

I nodded, offering her a wide smile. "Yeah. That's probably what it was," I told her, and followed her closely to the dormitories. As I walked I couldn't shake how weird what I had seen was. I had a feeling whatever those animals were doing, they weren't supposed to be here.

By the time Lily and I got back to the dormitory last night, all of our dorm mates were asleep, even Alice, so I couldn't attempt to get Lily and Marlene talking again, like I planned too.

The next day was Halloween, and nobody had to force anyone to get out of bed. Like any other holiday at Hogwarts, Halloween was always a momentous occasion, and everyone was actually looking forward to it.

Mary had gotten up at dawn to braid orange and black ribbons into her plait and Alice had added a spider web necklace to her usual uniform.

Marlene was the only one who was quiet. She watched Lily carefully out of the corner of her eyes as if she wanted to talk to her but couldn't decide what she wanted to say. After a few seconds Lily seemed to notice and stopped doing her tie to raise an eyebrow at Marlene.

"Do you need something?" Lily asked her. Her voice was a touch harsher than usual, but I figured if they were at least talking it was better than fighting.

"I wanted to know if we could talk," Marlene said evenly.

Lily's eyes widened, and then she nodded. Rylie and Alice took that as their cue to leave the dormitory, casting a worried glance between them.

"Come on, Doe," Mary said linking her arm in mine, and pulling me to the door. "Let's give them a minute to chat alone."

We took the stairs two at a time, heading towards the common room at a light jog. I had yet to hear any shouting from our dormitory and took that as a good sign. Maybe they were actually working through some things. I didn't know what Mary and I were going to do if they didn't. It felt wrong being disjointed. All week, it had been frustrating, and I didn't think I could take much more of it.

"Do you think they're going to make up?" I asked Mary, as we walked to the Great Hall.

Mary's mouth turned downward into a slight frown. "They better. I haven't seen you all week. And if they keep this up much longer, I'll have to befriend some Hufflepuffs or something. They _never_ fight."

"Make friends with Hufflepuffs? The _horror!_ "

The waffles this morning had been dyed purple, orange, black and green and the first years were making a big deal of them, eating as many as they could and laughing as their mouths turned the same colors.

"Ickle firsties," Mary said, avoiding them and going straight for a piece of Pumpkin- shaped toast.

Down the table, James Potter was conjuring tiny black bats out of his wand to bother their younger house mates. While technically harmless, the bats would get caught in the first and second year's hair and screech until they got annoyed. Most of the older students knew counter charms that could obliterate one of the tiny bats in seconds, but the second years were too flustered or naïve to know what to do with them. James seemed to be relishing in this, watching with a wide cheeky smile. Sirius sat beside him, watching but looking rather bored by the whole thing, occasionally leaning over to whisper something to Peter. Peter watched James' every moment with excitement, and seemed to be cutting Sirius' breakfast sausage for him. Remus wasn't there, and all four them looked remarkably tired, with black circles dusting under their eyes, as if they had been up all night.

The bats had amassed quite an audience from the house table, and some people had cornered one or two near them. Gideon seemed to have a small colony of them settled comfortably on each shoulder, like they actually liked him. The rest of the table made something of a game of trying to catch them. When one of the bats landed on Hestia's plate, Carmichael McKinnon obliterated in seconds by lazily flicking his wand, and spatters of black goo covered the front of Krysten Morris and Nora Tenenbaum's robes.

"Ew. Honestly McKinnon?" Krysten demanded. "I swear if this makes me late to Transfiguration I will let McGonagall ream you out."

She and Nora stomped out of the Great Hall, wiping the black sludge off of them, keeping a wide distance from the passing students.

The Marauders only laughed louder, and Landon lectured his older brother, who only seemed to be looking for Hestia's reaction. She didn't even notice, talking excitedly to Fabian Prewetts about the upcoming Quidditch match. Hestia and Fabian were both on the house team.

One of the stray bats had flew further down the table, and Mary and I managed to catch it between our hands while it fluttered against them. It was tiny, and felt as though it was made of nothing more than paper.

"Should we name it?" Mary asked. "Maybe we could train it like an owl?"

The tiny bat fluttered feebly in her hand and gave a tiny squeak.

"To carry what?" I asked her, watching it drag its tiny body across her hand. "Postage stamps?"

"What's a postage stamp?" Landon asked, leaning over to scoop a handful of the tiny bats before they jumped into a flagon of pumpkin juice.

I looked to Mary, for an explanation. I knew some things about muggles from living with them over the last few years, but she was the one who actually knew how most things worked in detail.

"They're a payment for sending muggle letters in the mail," Mary said with a sigh. "It's like a tiny sticker you put on your letters so they know you've paid to send it."

"You have to _pay_ to send letters to muggles?" Landon asked, his eyes widening.

"Muggle's do."

Landon looked so confused I half expected him to scratch his head. "Weird."

The tiny bat continued to walk across the back of Mary's hand until her younger sister Julie walked over and asked if she could take it back to her side of the table, with her friends. Mary begrudgingly agreed and handed her the tiny bat while Julie and the other third years cooed at it in soft voices.

"Do you think I should I gather some breakfast for Marlene and Lily?" I asked Mary, "Just in case their fighting doesn't wrap up before the end of breakfast?"

Mary shook her head. "I wouldn't worry about it." She nodded towards the entrance of the Great Hall where Marlene and Lily had both emerged, smiling and walking arm in arm.

"Thank Merlin," I said gratefully, as they sat down at the table.

"Work everything out did you?" Mary asked the pair of them as they shoveled what was left of the breakfast.

Marlene beamed at her. "Yes, actually. Turns out we were both wrong." Lily nodded eagerly. "Neither of us wanted to fight anymore. Especially not when there's a feast tonight."

Mary rolled her eyes at them, letting a smile play against her lips. "Seems like we told you that all week."

"Hush, MacDonald," Marlene said serving herself a generous helping of hash browns.

Lily almost jumped out of her seat when one of the stray bats scuttled across it at top speed, while a first-year tore after it.

Lily's eyes darkened. "Let me guess, James?"

Mary nodded. "A Happy Halloween from the Marauders. They're actually kind of cute, if you get passed the whole vermin at the breakfast table bit."

Lily looked like she wanted to disagree, but decided against it and kept her mouth firmly closed.

"I'm proud of you," I told her, "You're showing restraint."

"Only because I don't want to fight with Marlene again," she whispered to me.

"Even so."

The rest of the day passed by very slowly, as it always did when we were too keyed up about something exciting like a feast. The upside was however, that the holiday spirit seemed to have taken over most of the Professors. They made it their mission to make the day as festive as possible.

In the morning, Professor Sprout led us all over to Hagrid's hut to tend his giant, waist high pumpkins. Something I was delighted by, falsely thinking that there was no way I could be terrible at taking care of something as harmless as pumpkins. But I had barely clipped one of the pumpkins leaves before one of its long, snakelike vines had reached upward and wrapped itself around my stocking-clad tights, knocking me to the ground, and dragging me five feet before Marlene was able to extricate it from my leg. Covered in dirt, and still furious at my lack of skills with Herbology, I stood up and crossed my arms. Professor Sprout only shook her head while the other Hufflepuffs giggled.

"I really don't know how you manage that," Lily said as one of the vines rubbed gently across her arms.

"It's a skill," I replied miserably. I went back to tending the pumpkins from a distance.

In Care of Magical Creatures Professor Kettleburn showed us Ridgels, a strange creature that resembled a bat almost exactly, but when angered sprouted large purple horns.

The Marauders, looked delighted by them, clearly still thinking of their fun at breakfast. I noticed Remus still wasn't with them. He hadn't been in Herbology either.

By the time we got to lunch, it seemed as if the day would never end. The minutes ticked by slower and slower every class. It wasn't until Transfiguration that Remus showed up to class. He looked worn and exhausted, his eyes puffy and bloodshot. I knew his mom had been sick and hoped he was feeling alright. I didn't get an opportunity to ask him. Professor McGonagall began teaching immediately and showed us all how transfigure lamps into Jack-O-Lanterns. Something to Lily's dismay, that James mastered in the first two minutes.

Even Professor Flitwick seemed to be possessed by the Halloween spirit, teaching us a quick little charm to make any inanimate object shout "Boo!". Rylie had somehow managed to produce this spell incorrectly and now at five minute intervals her wand would shout "Boo!" so loudly she would jump out of her seat. Marlene cold hardly contain her laughter every time it happened.

"Oi, I hope Professor Flitwick doesn't fix it," she said as we left the charms classroom. "It's kind of funny."

"Not for Rylie," Mary reminded her.

"Or for you if her wand keeps doing it all night when you're trying to get your beauty sleep," I added.

"Any sleep I get is beauty sleep," Marlene said tossing her hair over her shoulder confidently, eliciting a laugh from Mary and Lily.

I couldn't help but smile at the sound. It felt so good to have all of my friends back together again. I wouldn't let them fight like that again. I didn't care if I had to personally step between Snape and the Marauders, I'd do it. My friends were the closest thing I still had to family. I didn't want them to ever be disjointed too.

We spent the rest of the afternoon loafing in the Common Room, sitting on the floor in front of the fire, chatting happily while Marlene flipped through the newest copy of witch weekly.

"Did you know emeralds are the newest trend?" Marlene wretched from the floor where she laid on her stomach. "as if I wanted to walk around looking like a bloody Slytherin all the time."

She flipped through to the next page. "Well I guess sapphires are too, although that's not too much better."

"Not to self, no emeralds for Marlene for Christmas," I noted, over the cover of the book I was reading.

Lily sighed. "Well there goes my plan. What _ever_ will I do with that emerald tiara I had picked out for her?" she joked.

"If you're handing out tiara's I'd like one," Mary said, "I don't mind looking like a Slytherin if I'm doing it in style."

Marlene rolled over and sat up to face us, wrinkling her nose. "If you're giving presents with precious jewels, I will only accept rubies. Gryffindor pride."

Lily snorted. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Please do."

Light music filled the room as some of the seventh years fiddled with the radio in the corner, and soon the entire Common Room was filled with the songs of the most popular wizarding band of the moment _Goblin Gang_.

It was music that made you want to get up and dance and Marlene made a whole show of dancing on one of the coffee tables with Sturgis Podmore, until Krysten Morris demanded she teach her how to do the move she was doing.

Soon the entire Common Room was having a great time, and even Lily and Mary, who rarely participated in the house parties, were moving back and forth dancing in the armchairs.

I watched, a small smile on my face, as Gideon and Frank Longbottom set up a floating limbo ribbon for the second years.

The only people who didn't seem to be present were the Marauders, which was very odd. They never missed a party in the Common Room, no matter how casual. In fact, they _threw_ most of the parties we had in Gryffindor Tower, and they were always outlandish, fantastic affairs. It seemed odd that they weren't here.

I didn't let it bother me, watching as Marlene recreated James' tiny bat charm in order to harass her brother Carmichael with them. He did seem to have a particular hatred for them, and she relished in sending more at him with every thrust of her wand. Seeing what was happening with his siblings, Landon joined in conjuring more of the bats, while Carmichael tried to swat them away.

'Honestly!" Carmichael demanded. " I. Am. A. Prefect." His siblings only laughed.

But eventually the Common Room became too full of the tiny bats and everyone third year and above had to spend fifteen minutes vanishing them before anyone could head down to the feast.

"This is for the birds," Mary complained as she vanished a cluster of them.

"You mean, this is for the bats," Lily chuckled.

" _Hilarious,_ Evans," I told her, vanishing the cluster of them nearest to me.

By the time they were all gone, everyone was starving and it was finally time to head down to the Great Hall for the feast. The Marauders had only emerged from their dormitory as everyone else was leaving.

We walked down to the Great Hall excitedly, letting the images of lamb-chops, raspberry pork, caramel-covered apples and butter-flavored ice cream drifting through our minds.

"Woah!" Mary said as we lingered at the entrance of the Great Hall, enchanted by what we saw there. "They certainly went all out this year, didn't they?"

The room was so well decorated, it almost looked unrecognizable. Yards of thick, silvery cobwebs covered every inch of the walls, with enchanted spiders scampering up and down them, forming patterns or words in the webs. Giant Jack-o-Lanterns floated in every spare inch of the air above the tables, casting a warm glow over the entire room, and giant Hagrid-sized cauldrons stood in the corner, bubbling something violet colored and sparkling.

The tables were covered in black, sparkling table covers and littered with every kind of food and dessert imaginable. Every ten feet or so, were skeleton heads with open mouths that chattered and shouted rude things at whoever sat across from them.

The Hogwarts house ghosts also were in attendance, floating over the tables as they usually did at feasts, but looking much more ominous among the new decorations in the hall.

Mary shuddered as the Bloody Baron drifted though her, though he didn't seem to notice at all, continuing in the direction of the Grey Lady.

Up at the house table, all of the teachers were mingling, dressed in some of their finer robes and talking excitedly amongst themselves as they partook in sparkled wine and the assortment of delectable food in front of them.

We took our seats at the house table and immediately tore into the delicacies in front of us. There was a piece of roast that was so drenched in gravy, it made my mouth water, and Lily carefully arraigned a beautiful assortment of food on her plate that looked like it would be featured in Witch Weekly.

Mary decorated a caramel apple with colored sprinkles, arguing about the merit of them with a chuckling Landon McKinnon, while Marlene light-heartedly argued with Alice that Carrot Cake was superior to any other kind of dessert.

"I spend every moment of summer, dreaming about this right here," I said, letting my eyes slip closed as I chewed. Lily chuckled, and took another bite of pork.

"Is your auntie not much of a cook, Doe?" Nora asked from my other side, taking a hearty sip of pumpkin juice.

My cheeks burned slightly pink, and I knew beside me, Lily was staring holes into the side of my face. It was an innocent question, that I knew. I'd known Nora for four years and she had only ever been kind to me. She was only asking me about my family because she didn't know the truth.

I shrugged. "Not really. Nothing like this." The lie felt heavy and gross on my tongue but there was nothing I could do about it, or the tiny pit that had formed in my stomach. Every time I had to spoon-feed that lie to the people in my house, people that I cared about, it ate at my heart.

Nora hadn't noticed my strange reaction and smiled back at me, offering the basket of caramel apples to Lily.

Some bats had flown into the ceiling and while the other houses squealed in delight, all of the Gryffindors ducked to avoid them, having already dealt with them enough today.

"I'll never be able to look at a bat again now," Hestia said very pointedly at James.

James smirked. "Didn't know you did a lot of that before, Jones."

Hestia flicked a few crisps at him, and he ducked to avoid them. Peter looked concerned, but even Remus smiled at that.

Lily laughed too, but most likely only because the negativity was directed at James. I guess it didn't matter if she and Marlene had made up. The iciness between her and James seemed like it would never thaw.

"Hey, Lily," Remus asked. "Can you hand me one of those chocolate cupcakes beside you?"

Lily looked up from her plate and smiled as she reached for one of the delicately frosted chocolate cupcakes beside her. Peter burst into a laughter as she did. Sirius sighed.

"Don't do it, Evans," James ordered her seriously. The moment the words had left his lips, Lily's eyes widened angrily and she raised an indignant eyebrow at him. "Oh yeah, and why can't I, Potter?" She snapped his name like it was the worst insult she could muster.

"Moony's a chocoholic," Sirius said, coming to his friend's defense and shaking his head humorously. "You'll just enable him."

I snorted into my pumpkin juice, and Sirius winked at me in response. Marlene suppressed her giggles with the back of her hand.

Remus' turned a little pink. "Oh, shut it, Prongs." He whispered.

"You all think you're _so_ funny," Lily said rolling her eyes and sliding the cupcake to Remus. She flashed him a sympathetic smile, and he beamed back at her. "Thank you, _Lily_."

"You'll just contribute to his problem," James said wistfully, pretending to clutch at his heart. "What will we do if he overdoses?"

Lily didn't look amused whatsoever. "Why can you never just be serious for once?" she demanded.

"Because _I'm already_ , Sirius," Sirius said cheekily. "Are you losing your marbles, Evans?"

Peter snorted so loudly he had to cover his face with a napkin. Marlene threw her head back in laughter at the pun and Lily huffed in irritation.

"You know Moony tried to convince us that chocolate helps dementor attacks?" Peter added, immediately trying to diffuse Lily's anger. "He spent our entire train ride to Hogwarts talking about it."

"He's actually right about that," Lily said, coming to his defense. "It's pretty well-proven now. You'd probably all know that if you bothered to read now and then." She was clearly speaking to James and not Peter.

Peter flushed, obviously embarrassed and shoved half a piece of cake in his mouth so he didn't have to answer anything else.

"That's alright, Wormtail," James said, looking Lily directly in the eyes. "Pretty as she may be, Evans doesn't understand the subtle nuisances of humor."

Lily narrowed her eyes at James and then turned to Remus. "How do you _stand_ them?" she asked, purposefully avoiding the cheerful look James was throwing at her. Remus simply shrugged. "Truthfully, I just hope for the best."

Sirius shoved him in the shoulder. "Don't lie, Moony. You _love_ us."

A loud bang sounded further down the table, and everyone turned to Dirk Creswell and Tiberius McLaggen, who had gotten into a fight over the last slice of roast. McLaggen's wand had poked the skeleton head on the table in the mouth, and a bang had erupted from it, while candy sprouted out of its eye holes.

"That's bloody brilliant," Fabian said and stuck his wand into the one closest to him. Another bang sounded and candy corn spurted out in troves. Soon, all across the Great Hall were tiny bangs of sound as students at all of the different house tables stuck their wands into the skeletons.

It didn't stop until the plates and robe pockets of all the students were filled with candy corn, lollipops and wrapped toffees.

The teachers at the high table looked delighted, and joined in on the fun, taking turns doing it to the skeleton head at their own table. Dumbledore thoroughly enjoyed the candy, plopping it straight into his mouth while Professor McGonagall looked on disapprovingly.

"Bertie Botts!" Mary said as she pointed her wand in the skeleton in front of us. She filled her robe pockets with the brightly colored beans. "Fancy a game of roulette back in the dormitory, ladies?"

"Yes!" I said shoving more at her enthusiastically. Mary and Lily looked thrilled.

We had spent many nights curled up on our beds trying to guess the flavor of the beans we sampled. It was a game that started out very easy and quickly moved into a very, tense tactical maneuvering that always had Alice and Rylie watching from behind a pillow. Last time we had done it we had to keep a wastebin under Marlene's bed after she found a liver flavored one.

"Why are you trying to ruin the holiday?" Marlene sighed, watching Mary pocket more of the beans.

Beside her, Alice smiled. "My money is on Lily winning. She always lasts the longest."

"Only the last time because Doe got Brussel sprouts and Mary got tripe," Lily said. "I got lucky with lime and caramel."

Mary wrinkled her nose. "I _hate_ tripe."

As the food and drunk started to disappear from the table, we passionately chatted about our upcoming game of Bertie Bott Rolette, clearing from the table slowly.

"So what are the chances of skipping this and just listening to the new Goblin Gang album again?" Marlene pressed.

"Slim to none," Alice assured her with a disappointed look, "considering Rylie snapped her copy in half last night when she accidently stepped on it."

Marlene frowned, her perfect lips forming a frown. "Now I kind of hope her wand is still booing."

"Sorry to disappoint but Flitwick fixed it for her," Alice said squeezing her shoulder.

Marlene groaned, and Mary patted her head comfortingly as they strode towards the dormitory with their long legs. Lily and I walked slower. She was smiling beside me as we headed for the staircases, happy and full from the feast.

"Lily!" Snape ran frantically from the Great Hall, panting as he caught up with us before the stairs. "I have to tell you something,"

"Sure, what's up Sev?" Lily asked, stopping off to the side so that other students could walk past us.

Snape fidgeted, casting a dark look my way. " _Alone_ ," he said.

I rolled my eyes pointedly at him. I didn't care about anything Snape had to say, certainly not enough to eavesdrop on it.

"Sev, come on, it's just Doe." Lily whined. He didn't relent.

I shook my head at them, "Don't worry about it. I'll catch up with the others." I flashed a dirty look at Severus, that I made sure lasted a few good seconds before I left them in the entrance hall and headed back towards Gryffindor tower.

Marlene, Mary, and Alice had disappeared probably already in the Common Room, and I headed that way. I rounded the corner and stopped short behind a group of sixth-year Hufflepuffs. Rabastan Lestrange was leaning against the banister, uncharacteristically alone, nowhere near the dungeons, where he _should_ be right now. He was fiddling with his wand in his hand and hadn't noticed my arrival yet, but something deep within my bones knew he was waiting for me.

I never liked being alone with Rabastan, but I definitely wasn't going to risk it on Halloween. I doubled back and took the back staircase. It meant a five-minute detour, but it was worth it not to end up in detention for hexing Rabastan, or worse, stuck _with_ Rabastan.

The only people I passed as I made way were Ravenclaws, heading towards Ravenclaw tower. It was getting late, and If I didn't hurry, I might run into Filch. Something told me that it didn't matter to that foul caretaker if it was a holiday. He would still love to give me a detention.

I passed his rotten, foul-faced kitten on the fourth floor, and started to head back towards the common room at a sprint. If Mrs. Norris was around, Filch had to be too.

I skipped past on of the alcoves to the grounds and stopped, seeing a figure ahead in the doorway. It was too tall to be Filch, and I knew the second I saw the cigarette pressed against his lips that it was not the ancient caretaker, but someone else I knew. A shape I recognized, even though I didn't know he engaged in this particular activity.

"You smoke?"

He looked up and gave me a cheeky smile. The one I had seen so many times in the library, when he was saying something inappropriate. Sirius balanced the cigarette between his teeth and leaned backward against the wall.

"On occasion," he reasoned. "I nicked this one from James, though."

I crossed my arms in front of me, pursing my lips. I knew enough about the muggle world and their inventions to know that cigarette smoking was a sure way to cause some nasty kind of muggle disease. It didn't matter if a St. Mungos healer could fix it with one flick of their wand and a potion, it seemed disgusting to me that someone would intentionally do anything that brought harm to them.

"I didn't know James smoked either."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, and stared me down as he took another puff from the cigarette. "On occasion." It wiggled between his full lips. "Does that particularly bother you, Meadowes? I wasn't under the impression that James' vices were any of your concern."  
I didn't like the way he said James name, like it had some sort of meaning behind it.

"They're not," I shrugged. "It's none of my business."

Sirius chuckled. "When has that ever stopped you from wondering what any of us are up to?"

I crossed my arms. "Wondering and giving my opinion are two very different things."

He shrugged, his shoulders sloping forward. "Not for me. If I'm wondering something, I usually just ask."

"That's because you lack tact."

He shook his head. "I prefer to call it being upfront."

I stared at him, a little bewildered. Sirius and I were somewhere in the strange space between acquaintances and friends, where I never felt like I could ask him anything personal, but I still felt closer to him than my other housemates. It was a confusing situation to be in with someone, and I rarely knew how tread around it.

I wanted to ask him what he was doing all the way over here. It was rare to see Sirius without the company of the Marauders, especially on a night like tonight where there was no doubt an after feast gathering of older students in the Common Room. Half of me wanted to know what he was doing here, and the other half didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I wanted to know.

My curiosity won out. I steadied my face before I spoke to him.

"There aren't any corridors closer to Gryffindor tower you can smoke in?" I asked, leaning against the wall across from him. "You have to come way over here to do it?"

I didn't know why I cared exactly. It just didn't make very much sense, and if there was anything I learned from Lily, it was that when something didn't make sense with one of the Marauders, it usually led to something bad.

"I was taking a break from something else I had to do tonight," Sirius told me, vanishing the cigarette with one twist of his wand. "This was closest."

I pursed my lips. "Something tells me I probably don't want to know what you were doing down here, huh?"

Visions of the broom closets he was always talking about flashed through my mind. I vaguely wondered which of the Ravenclaws he was no doubt meeting down here, and felt a strange upsurge of dislike towards whoever she was.

Sirius seemed to understand what I was getting at from the disapproving look on my face.

"As much as I'd like you to go ahead thinking what _you're_ thinking," he said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "I'm strictly on Marauder business right now."

"Marauder business?" I asked. He nodded, and didn't say anything else.

Marauder Business sounded like a thinly veiled excuse for doing something that would no doubt secure them a detention. But from the grin on Sirius' face, he seemed to already know that.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What are _you_ doing down here, Meadowes? Last time I checked, missing curfew and wandering the castle alone weren't exactly things you often do."

I bit the inside of my cheek, firmly deciding I didn't want to share anything else about Rabastan with him, and unable to come up with a clever lie.

"I was avoiding someone I didn't want to see," I told him honestly.

Sirius chuckled. "Fair enough." He didn't seem interested in prying any more than that. It was sometimes helpful that Sirius didn't care very much about anything.

Down the corridor there was a faint mewing, and I knew Mrs. Norris would be there in a minute, with Filch trailing after. Sirius seemed to sense this too.

He looked to me, his face oddly blank. "Where are you headed right now?" he asked. "Back to the dormitories like a good little Gryffindor?"

I shrugged. "That was the plan."

"On Halloween night?" Sirius clicked his tongue. "No, that won't do, darling. That's downright boring. Any chance you want to do something a bit more _exciting?_ "

I eyed him carefully, very aware of the distant meowing that was getting louder. "What kind of something?" I asked.

Sirius grinned, looking delighted that I had asked. "Something in the Forbidden Forest. Wormtail lost something in there that we need, and now we've got to go and find it. You're welcome to join if you want."

He said the whole thing so casually. Like he was offering to go to the library rather than the dark forest.

I stared at him in disbelief. "Just so I'm clear, Sirius. Because I really want to make sure I have this down correctly," I said. He chuckled, and waited for me to continue. "You're asking me to break at least three school rules and wander the Forbidden Forest after hours, on Halloween night, with the Marauders?"

I couldn't think of a more reckless and dangerous scenario in my head, unless I added Slytherins to the mix. This was the kind of thing that the Marauders did that the rest of us talked about. It was never something we joined in on, because any idea they had was barmy. Like this one.  
He snorted. "Well when you put it like that it _almost_ sounds like a bad idea."

"It _definitely_ sounds like a bad idea."

Sirius rolled his eyes, and made a strange, bored noise. "You sound like a prefect."

"You say that like it's an insult."

"It is."

Sirius gave me a knowing look. "Come on Meadowes, what's life without a little risk, anyway? Use some of that stored Gryffindor courage of yours and come to the forest."

He seemed to know exactly which buttons to push. My allegiance to my house and upholding those traits were one of my fiercest principles. I sighed, and Sirius grinned wider, knowing he had found the right mark.

The meowing had gotten louder, so that it was right around the corner. Sirius stood upright and moved towards the door to the ground, pushing it open. He held it open and raised an eyebrow at me. "Now or never."

I had to choose. Either go with Sirius or risk a detention from Filch anyway. I doubted I'd be able to outrun the caretaker and make it all the way back to Gryffindor tower. I either had to risk a detention with Sirius or definitely get one from Filch.

"Hurry up, I hear Filch," I told him darting through the open-door frame and onto the wooden walkway.

Sirius looked downright delighted. "I never thought you'd actually come. This is bloody brilliant."

So, he was just messing with me. I considered darting back through the door for second, but thought better of it when I saw Filch's shadow darting across the corridor wall. Sirius silently closed the door and motioned for me to follow him quickly down the wooden walkway, before we were seen, taking away any chance I had of heading back towards the castle. But I knew I wouldn't have anyway. I was far too curious about this Marauder business in the forest to turn back now.

It was only a couple more feet before we got to the grounds, and Filch wouldn't be able to see us anymore. Sirius motioned for me to keep my head down as we sprinted across the walkway silently. The wind ripped across my cheeks as we moved. The crisp fall air seemed to be transitioning faster to winter than normal. I wasn't wearing my robes, and could feel every inch of the weather on my skin. I hadn't thought I'd need them for the feast, so I'd left them hanging on the edge of my bed. But Sirius wasn't wearing his robes either, and if he could stand the cold then so I could I.

I was suddenly aware of poorly dressed I was for an excursion in the Forbidden forest. Even if I could get over the weather, somehow, I didn't think my uniform skirt or stockings would fare so well against the tree branches or creatures lingering in the woods.

"How is it that I'm already regretting this?" I whispered to Sirius as we took our first step onto the soggy, pitch black grounds.

Sirius' smile widened and his teeth shined through the darkness. "That thing you're feeling Meadowes is not regret, it's excitement."

"Oh, is it? That makes loads more sense," I said sarcastically. Sirius chuckled.

His strides were longer than mine, and I had to work harder to keep up with his pace as we headed for the forest at almost a jog. The only light we had was the sheen of the quarter moon in the sky above us.

I scanned the grounds carefully, looking for any sign of anything that might leap out at us. Maybe one of t the creatures that Hagrid had told me about that lived in the forest.

"You know, you look scared as a Hufflepuff right now," Sirius chuckled lightheartedly. "I don't think I've ever seen you look like this before. It's humbling."

The forest was only a few feet ahead of us. We were far enough now that I doubted anyone from the castle could see us unless they were pressing their noses up against the window. It reminded me of the night before, when I'd seen all of those animals tearing across the grounds. I hoped they weren't out here now.

"I'm not _scared_ ," I told him carefully. "I'm being cautious. Last night, after Slughorn's dinner, I saw some animals out here."

Sirius stopped, feet from the entrance to the forest, turning to look at me with a strange expression. "Animals?" he asked, his face very tense. "Like what? Unicorns or something." He let out a nervous, strained laugh.

I shook my head. "No, weirder actually. I thought I saw a deer, and a dog, and maybe something else but I couldn't quite make out what is was."

Beside me, Sirius had gone very white and still. He stared directly at me with his mouth slightly agape like I had told him something dangerous.

"Do I sound a little barmy or something?" I asked him, still a little stunned by how worried he looked. After all, he was the one who had convinced _me_ to come out here.

Sirius flashed me a strained smile. "A little, Meadowes. Maybe you're losing your touch."

As quickly as his strange behavior had shown, it disappeared and he trotted back towards the forest with a little spring in his step.

The forest was darker than the rest of the surrounding grounds and even felt a little colder, as we passed through the first trees.

A twig snapped to my right and my head spun around, searching for the cause of it. Sirius took a step closer to me, but kept moving deeper into the forest. I made sure to take my wand out of my pocket and whispered _"Lumos."_ It felt better to have at least some of the light in front of us. Sirius already had his wand out and did the same, so that we could at least see a little ahead of us.

I tried to follow him as closely as I could, dried leaves and branches crunching under my feet as I walked. "Do you know where you're going?" I whispered hoarsely at him. I wasn't sure if there was anything else in these tree's that might be listening.

"Of course, I know where I'm going," Sirius said. I watched him roll his eyes. "You have no confidence in me, do you?"

"Clearly, I have some, or I wouldn't have followed you in here. Of course, I still haven't ruled out the fact that I might be mentally ill. That could also account for it." I told him, following right behind him.

"Or you couldn't resist following someone as hauntingly beautiful as me," Sirius replied cheekily.

"Hauntingly beautiful?' I asked, rolling my eyes. Sirius winked.

The forest was thicker and darker here, and I wasn't sure how far in we were now. I was started to hear noises, ones I didn't recognize, and kept my wand outstretched in front of me.

I was about to ask Sirius how much further we were going when several figures stepped out into our wand light.

"That better be you, Padfoot," one of them called. "I swear that smoke break lasted a century."

It was James. The light from our wands illuminated his face, and I watched it change from annoyance to surprise as he looked from Sirius to me. Remus and Peter were behind him, and looked equally as curious.

Peter sighed. "Do you bring a girl with you _everywhere_ you go, Sirius?"

Sirius waved him off. "Come off it, Peter. I didn't bring a _girl_ , I brought Meadowes. It's different."

"Nice, Sirius," I said with an eye roll, as he ducked away from my wand and cold stare.

Remus offered me a smile anyway. "Nice to see you, Doe."

James smirked at me. "I'm a little surprised to see you out here, Doe. I thought you and Evans like to stay on the rule-abiding side of things?"

I shrugged. "Exceptions can be made every now and again." It felt a little odd to be standing in the middle of the Forbidden Forrest with the Marauders, almost as if I was being interviewed.

Sirius leaned against one of the massive dark trees. "That's Doe's way of saying she was bored and curious what we get up to out here."

"Can't say I blame her," James admitted. "We're riveting. Aren't we Wormtail?"

Peter nodded eagerly. "Absolutely fascinating, I'd say."

Remus offered me a sympathetic smile, clearly over the dramatic antics of his closest friends. He had always been the most rational one.

"Why do I get the impression you weren't supposed to bring guests?" I whispered pointedly to Sirius. Coming out here was one thing, but I was not going to encroach on some super-secret Marauder soiree. "Sirius told me you guys had lost something out here."

Sirius only smiled in response. "Relax. No one minds that you're here. It's not as if you're Evans or something. Right boys?"

"Course not," Remus assured me.

Peter offered me a wide smile. "I've got no problem with you, Doe."

"I happen to think you might have a little fun out here," James said. "But for the record, Padfoot. I'd have loved it if you brought Evans too." His eyes sparkled at the prospect of Lily being out here with me.

I couldn't imagine Lily standing in the forbidden forest, no matter how hard I tried. There was no way she'd break a school rule like this, and certainly not if it involved the Marauders.

"Next time, Prongs" Sirius joked.

I let out a tiny giggle at the idea. "Good luck with that. Let me know how that goes will you?"

Remus chuckled, knowing how unlikely that scenario was.

"Well," James said quickly. "We better get a move on if we plan on finding." he stopped short, casting a subtle look at me. "the thing."

Remus gave him a strained look and then turned to Peter, disapprovingly. I didn't know what it was that they had lost, but whatever it was clearly held some importance. It was something they didn't want to openly discuss in front of me.

"I'm going to go with Wormtail, have him retrace his steps," James told them. "Sirius, you stay with Doe. Remus since you can't…er" he stopped again, searching for the right words. "You should go with them too. If we find what we're looking for, we'll send red sparks through the forest, yeah?"

"Keep your eyes wide, Wormy," Sirius chuckled, it was lighthearted, but there was something a touch more serious to his words. A warning, that Peter should find whatever it was he had lost. Peter seemed to grasp the importance of his friends words. Color flushed his round cheeks as he nodded eagerly. "Don't worry, Padfoot. I'll find it."

He took out his wand triumphantly and headed deeper to the right of the woods with James at his sides.

Remus sighed as they disappeared through the thicket of trees, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"You know they're going to have a time finding it, don't you?" he said to Sirius, his voice worn. "If Wormtail lost it, it could be anywhere."

Sirius shrugged and lit his wand. "Not anywhere. Only places we were last night."

Remus' eyes widened slightly and he gave a curt, tiny nod in my direction as he shook his head. Clearly, Sirius had said too much. I didn't see how. All Sirius had said was that, whatever it was, it had been lost the night before.

But last night had been Slughorn's dinner. So it had to have been before that.

Sirius met Remus' eyes and nodded. "Right, well. We should probably start looking."

They both moved quickly, walking straight ahead, deeper into the forest, their wands lit ahead of them. Of course, we were going deeper. I sighed and made sure my wand was lit too, before I followed them.

Sirius and Remus moved quickly, they're wands pointed down at the forest floor, searching. I was no help in this department. I had no idea what we were looking for.

"I'm going to keep my wand up," I told them as they scanned the ground. "We might not be the only things in the forest, you know."

Sirius chuckled, not looking up from the ground. "We're _definitely_ not the only things in this forest. I'd have a stinging jinx ready if I were you, Meadowes."

I looked to Remus, frantic. "Tell me he's joking."

Remus looked up and offered me a sympathetic glance. "Can't hurt, I'm afraid."

A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of facing anything out here. I had heard the rumors of the the things that lived in here; sphinxes, skrewts, achromanculas and worse. I doubted a stinging jinx, no matter how cleverly casted, would do very much against one of them.

We walked in silence for a little while. Me leading the way while, Remus and Sirius searched the ground muttering to themselves about something I didn't understand and swearing Peter's name whenever the subject came up.

"So, I know you can't tell me what we're looking for," I told them. "But is there any chance you can tell me what it looks like? I could be of some help."

Remus and Sirius exchanged a nervous look between them, and Sirius dropped his voice to whisper something to Remus that I couldn't hear. Remus nodded and they both turned back to me.

"It's not what we're looking for so much that's important, as much as what is on it," Sirius said. Remus nodded. "It's a leaflet of parchment. So, if you see any of those, grab it."

A leaflet or parchment? I could hardly fathom what was written on it that was important enough to risk an excursion in the Forbidden Forest at night. Or why they had been carrying that parchment around at here last night, in the first place.

I kept moving and scanned the ground with them. I didn't see any sign of anything other than rocks and branches, but kept searching anyway.

"Do you guys spend a lot of time out here?" I asked them, trying to ignore a distant sound that I was sure was howling.

Sirius looked up, grinning. "That depends. If I answer honestly are you going to go running off to McGonagall with my answer."

I stopped and rolled my eyes. "When have you ever known me to run to McGonagall?"

Sirius shrugged. "You're always boasting about how you've never lost any points from Gryffindor. How am I supposed to know whether or not you've managed that by running to McGonagall like a prefect?"

"Because Sirius," I told him, moving my wand in a circle so it scanned a wider radius of light on the ground. "As you so often like to remind me, I'm _not_ a prefect."

"Let's not talk badly about prefects, shall we?" Remus said. Even in the dark, I could see the shiny badge pinned to his sweater. It was starting to match the blush creeping across his freckled cheeks.

Sirius snorted. "Please, Remus. Everyone in the forest knows you're nothing more than a figurehead. If you were a honest prefect, you'd have docked everyone here right now thirty points, yourself included."

Remus sighed. "That is a fact I don't particularly like being reminded of you know."

"The truth hurts, Moony," Sirius said unabashed, using his long legs to stride past me and deeper into the forest.

I gave Remus a sympathetic squeeze on the shoulder. "If it makes you feel better, I feel a little guilty being out here too." I thought of my friends up in the dormitory probably wondering where I was, and hoping they weren't worried. I didn't know how I would explain any of this to them. They'd probably think I'd been kidnapped or coerced into it.

"Please," Sirius shook his head a few feet in front of us. "Trapped in a forest with us Marauders alone? You're having a ball, don't lie."

"My name isn't Marlene," I reminded him.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Anyway, to answer your question, Meadowes; Yes, we do come out here a lot. And, if you ever bring it up again, we will deny it."

"I wouldn't dream of it," I assured him. I opened my mouth to ask him another question and Sirius shook his perfect hair. "and no, I won't tell you what we do out here."

I didn't know how he had known exactly what I was going to ask. My face dropped into a slight frown.

"Not even a hint?" I asked, my smile wide and curious. This whole excursion into the woods had only made me more curious than I had been before about what the four of them got up too in here.

Sirius shook his head firmly. "Nope."

I turned to Remus. "Can I bribe you with chocolate frogs?" I asked him, remembering our conversation at the feast earlier.

Remus shook his head. "Sorry, Doe. There aren't enough to chocolate frogs in the world."

Sirius laughed. "Somehow I doubt that. Maybe we should just tell her, Moony. It might be worth a lifetime of free chocolate frogs. I bet Meadowes is good for it" Remus threw him a very dark glance.

I sighed, knowing there was no progress on that front. "You know, I might just figure it out eventually. You four can't be that clever."

"Wanna bet?" Sirius asked cheekily, nudging me in the side with his elbow. I smacked him away before he could try and do it again.

"I wish you wouldn't try," Remus said softly. His face was a mixture of grief and pity. Whatever it was the four of them got up to out here, Remus didn't seem to like it very much. I dropped the topic immediately. Remus was sensible. If something was upsetting _him_ , it was probably best I didn't push it.

I was about to mention how spooky the forest was at night when a high-pitched scream ricocheted through the trees, seeming to split the forest in two. Sirius and Remus both straightened immediately, their heads turning in the direction of the scream.

"Was that?" Remus asked, staring off into the trees.

Sirius nodded, giving an irritated eye roll. "Definitely Wormtail." A small smile crept across his face. "Think Prongs snuck up behind him again?" He looked thrilled at the possibility.

"Probably something like that" Remus agreed. "If it were anything really dangerous, we'd probably hear James screaming too."

"Comforting," I said quietly. Sirius grinned.

"I should probably go check on them, just in case," Remus said slightly bothered. "You two okay staying here?"

"Fine," Sirius assured him. "Do me a favor and jinx Peter is he's just being a duffer, alright?"

"Will do."

Wand drawn, Remus' shadowed figure stalked off in the direction of the scream. The light from his wand broke through the dark clusters of branches. Sirius and I watched him go until it became nothing more than a speck of light in the distance.

Once his light was gone, Sirius moved back the way we were heading, deeper into the forest. He didn't stop searching the ground, but sighed. "I could kill Wormtail for losing this."

He seemed a little more agitated than usual, as he thrust his wand forward so low it practically poked the ground.

"Can I ask something?" I whispered quietly, treading carefully.

Sirius met my eyes. "You can ask."

I held my wand down too and helped him look. "If this parchment was so important, why'd you let _Peter_ carry it?"

I didn't want to be rude, but out of all of the Marauders, Peter was clearly the least capable or competent. We hardly had a lesson this year where he wasn't being told off for losing or breaking something. It seemed like the wrong person to trust something so important with.

A small smile broke across Sirius' face as he stood in front of me. All traces of irritation were gone from his face now as he beamed.

"Meadowes, are you implying that Peter Pettigrew is incapable of holding onto an important piece of parchment without losing it?" he asked facetiously.

I grinned. "That's exactly what I'm implying."

Sirius let out a low chuckle. "Wormtail will be crushed you think so little of him."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think little of Peter, I just don't think he's the most…responsible out of the three of you. If it were me, and I wanted to keep something safe, I'd probably have given it to Remus."

Sirius snorted loudly. "Trust me, it was safer with Peter, than it would have been with Remus."

I raised an eyebrow. "And I'm going to take a wild guess and assume you can't tell me why?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, darling. That's Marauder business."

"Marauder business?" I repeated with a snort. They made it seem as if what they were discussing were life or death, when it probably had more to do with pranking a Slytherin.

"I'll have you know-"Sirius started, but he stopped abruptly. The sound of his words were starting to be drowned out by a loud, cacophonous clattering. It sounded like hooves. Like five or six wild horses were racing towards us throw the woods. The branches and leaves crunching under there heavy hooves.

"Son of a Slytherin," Sirius hissed and held his wand up. _"Lumos Maxima!"_ It immediately plunged the area with light. I followed his lead.

"Are there horses in here?" I whispered to him, moving right beside him so he could hear me. Horses didn't seem so bad, compared to the horrors I was thinking. The sound of the hooves were so loud now they had to be practically on top of us.

"Worse," Sirius whispered miserably. "Keep quiet, and have your wand ready."

I stood beside Sirius with my wand drawn and ready. I could feel all of the fear I had felt earlier bubbling up inside of my chest. I didn't know what these strange creatures were going to be, but I doubted we would have the skill set necessary to fight them off. I silently scanned my brain for anything we might have learned in defense that could help.

As I was weighing the merit of the impedimenta jinx, something took a step towards us in the clearing, and I stopped reciting jinxes. It wasn't a horse. It was a centaur. And it had a loaded bow and arrow in it's arms. Behind it, four others stood close, all with weapons, each of them seemingly bigger than the last. The one in front of us had long straight brown hair, and a cruel sneering face. It released the strung arrow, and both Sirius and I ducked. It skidded just an inch above where Sirius' head had been a moment before, and stuck in a massive tree trunk. I couldn't tell if it had been a warning shot or meant to harm. I kept my wand poised, a jinx ready on my lips.

"Come on Bane," Sirius replied harshly, helping me back to me feet. "There's no need for arrows."

 _Bane?_ He knew the Centaur by name? I cast him a harsh glance. How many times had they been in here if they were on a first name basis with the creatures that resided in the forest. If Sirius honestly thought I wasn't going to ask questions after this, he was kidding himself.

Bane looked very irritated. His upper lip twitched as he casually strung another arrow in his bow. I noticed Sirius clutched his wand a little tighter.

"I thought we had warned you," Bane said venomously, "not to come into these woods again."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You think we were honestly thick enough to believe we wouldn't come here again? The forest is on Hogwarts property."

"And is forbidden to students!" the blonde-haired centaur behind Bane shouted furiously at Sirius.

"Semantics," Sirius told him with a gentle shrug. It only seemed to enrage Bane more. I tore my eyes away from the giant pack of centaurs in front of us to give Sirius a warning look. None of the centaurs seemed to be very thrilled with us already, I didn't think giving them lip would help the situation. Sirius didn't seem to notice me. He was staring to intently at the centaurs, not backing down, he stood taller and held his wand tighter. For a moment, he even looked threatening. Still, I wondered how well our wands would hold up against the bows and arrows in their hands. Sirius and I were both excellent duelers, but we were wholly outnumbered. There were at least six centaurs before us.

Bane took a deep, angry breath. "Such arrogance, even for a wizard. We warned you not to come back here, and what do you do? You come, _human and with your mate_ on a night such as this. Did you think we would be kind? That we would forget our warnings to you and your band of miscreants?"

"Well no," Sirius replied cheekily. "You've never once been kind to us, Bane. So, I hardly doubt you'd start now. However, I think even you can see that shooting an arrow is a bit harsh."

I had to resist the urge to smack Sirius. Why was he being so cheeky? He couldn't think this would help.  
The centaur behind Bane let out a strangled, furious noise, and I gripped the back of Sirius' sweater with my left hand, pulling him back, and inch. His eyes flashed to mine for a second and he gave a tiny, almost imperceptible shake of his head. A warning; _Don't Do Anything._

"We warned you that your next warning would not be a verbal one," Bane reminded him holding up his bow.

"Nothing fatal, Bane," one of the centaurs behind him called. "We promised Dumbledore. And remember the stars, remember his purpose."

Fatal? My blood ran ice cold, and Sirius' did his best to look unaffected, though I did notice he was much paler than he had been a moment before. What had we gotten ourselves into?

"Nothing fatal," Bane agreed, cracking a cruel smile as he turned back to Sirius. "Perhaps an arrow to the shoulder will help you head our warning. Take it more seriously, so we don't not find you in here again."

He, and the other Centaurs behind him lifted their bows, aiming. Sirius raised his wand. Somehow, I knew it wasn't an idle threat. From what I did know about Centaurs, they were stargazers, too busy reading the future to be concerned with Wizards or their laws. I didn't think they would have any problem shooting an arrow into Sirius' shoulder. After all, we couldn't even go running to Dumbledore about it afterwards, not without admitting we had broken several school rules to be in here. No, Bane would really do it. He pulled back the string on his bow.

"Wait!"

I took a step forward so that I was closer to the centaur and away from Sirius. I didn't have to turn around to know he was shooting daggers with eyes into the back of head.

 _"_ _What are you doing?"_ Sirius hissed at me quietly. I ignored him.

The centaurs aimed there bows at me. I made sure to lower my wand obviously and step closer to Bane.

"Bane, was it?" I asked him, trying to keep my voice as even and innocent as I could. "I am very sorry we came to the forest."

I could see the blonde centaur clutching the bow tighter, as if he was relishing the thought of letting it go and watching it bury into my skull.

Bane stood very straight, his face unmoved. "An apology means little to a centaur. Words of witches and wizards hold no merit here. This one," he pointed an indignant finger at Sirius, "has sworn one time to many not to set foot in here. Punishment must be paid. I do not wish to see them in the forest again."

I turned backward to give a furious glance at Sirius. He still had his wand held high, and his left hand was raised too, as if he wanted to grab me backward and scream something rude at me. He was furious, clearly. I'd deal with _that_ later. Right now, I planned on saving his stupid miserable shoulder from Centaurs.

"Please don't hurt Sirius," I said carefully, letting my bottom lip shiver mercilessly. "He didn't want to come into the forest tonight. _I_ did-"

 _"_ _-She lies!"_ hissed the blond centaur. "She only wants to save her mate from punishment! She knows we will not hurt the young!"

I really couldn't stand the blonde centaur. He seemed callous and bloodthirsty to me. Like he wanted to exact a violent punishment.

"She's hardly young," said a brunette centaur to Bane's right. "Not that much younger than the boy."

"Boy?" the blonde centaur hissed. "He's almost a man. Do not let this wide-eyed girl fool you, Bane. They are not the innocent."

"Enough," Bane hissed at his companions. "Let her speak."

Somehow, I had a very good feeling that these Centaurs wouldn't hurt me. I didn't know why. Maybe it was because I'd never been in the woods before, or because I wasn't quite as arrogant as Sirius, but I knew my punishment wouldn't be as Sirius as an arrow. Or at the very least, I hoped.

"Please," I begged again. "It really was my fault. I'd never been in the Forest before, and I thought it would be a laugh to go in on Halloween night. Sirius tried to stop me, and I wouldn't listen. He only came in here to stop me. He was about to drag me back to the castle himself when you showed up."

I turned back towards Sirius to make sure he was on board. He seemed to understand the importance of the situation and gave a grave nod.

Bane stared down at me. His frame was huge, and he was at least twice my height. He gave me a withering stare, as if he didn't believe me or my story. I felt panic start to creep back into my throat. He cast one final dirty grimace at Sirius and then spoke directly to me.

"Leave," he ordered me. "Leave the forest now. And do not come back, or you will both get an arrow to the back. Understand?"

There was a rumbling of discontent from the other centaurs behind him, the ones who were calling for our blood and hadn't dropped their bows.

"That's it?" the blonde centaur roared. He looked murderous.

Bane ignored them, and waited for my response. I nodded eagerly, my eyes wide.

"Go then," Bane snapped. "Or I will fire this arrow myself."

I didn't wait around for him to change his mind. I gripped my wand with one hand and grabbed Sirius roughly by the arm with my other, dragging him back towards the forests exit.

"Good seeing you, Bane," Sirius snapped as we walked away. Bane shot an arrow in the spot where he stood as we walked away.

"Merlin, what will it take for you to shut up?" I hissed, dragging him back through a collection of thick tree's until we were out of sight of the centaurs. I didn't stop walking until I was sure we were far enough away from them that they couldn't hear us. When I was, I leaned backwards against one of the giant black trees, trying to steady my breathing and keep from screaming.

"Well that was bloody fantastic, Meadowes," Sirius told me cheerfully. "Who would have thought you could have pulled something like that out of your arse? I should bring you everywhere."

"I want to murder you," I seethed quietly. Sirius only chuckled.

"Murder? That's a bit harsh. You wouldn't have anyone pretty to look at in the library if I were dead."

"Cold and bloody," I added.

He rolled his eyes. "Feeling a touch dramatic tonight, aren't we?" He leaned against the tree next to mine, very casually, as if murderous centaurs hadn't tried to mutilate him moments before.

"Do you realize how close you were to getting an arrow to the shoulder just now?" I asked him in disbelief. "If I hadn't stepped in, I'd have been dragging you to the bloody hospital wing!"

"But you _did_ step in," Sirius reminded. "And brilliantly so, really consider me impressed. Prongs will be so proud when I tell him. Knew it was a good idea bringing you out here."

"Why would you even come out here if you knew they had warned you against it?" I demanded pointing back in the direction of the centaurs.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "When have you ever known me to be stopped by hearing that something's against the rules?"

Of course. The fact that it was dangerous would have made it _more_ fun for him. I should have known when he asked me to come out here. Sirius wasn't just a rule breaker.

Sirius was reckless.

"Come on, Meadowes," Sirius nudged me in the shoulder. "You can't deny that this was at least a little exciting."

"It was terrifying."

"But also exciting."

I didn't even know what to say to him. It had been some of the most terrifying few minutes of my life, but I couldn't deny the rush of excitement that coursed right alongside the fear. I had been brave and courageous back there. Like a Gryffindor.

"I don't want to give you the satisfaction of agreeing," I told him, getting back to my feet.

Sirius smiled. "No need. I already know you had fun, or you'd be storming off right now in a huff, like Lily usually does. That's why I like you better. You can hold your own."

I had to try and ignore the feeling of joy I felt at those words. I _could_ hold my own. If I could talk down a group of centaurs without my wand, I should be able to take on other wizards. Maybe the idea of me becoming an auror wasn't so far off after all.

"Come on," I nodded back in the direction of the castle. "Let's find the others and get out of here. I don't fancy running into _them_ , again."

Sirius sighed. "What happened to all that courage I saw a minute ago? After that, you're just going to run scared?"

"Yes. Because shockingly enough I don't want to have to pull an arrow out of both of us."

"Come on, we could take them."

"Yeah that's exactly what _that_ looked like, you taking them."

Sirius shook his head. "They were just distracted by my beauty and charm."

I struggled with the desire to roll my eyes. "Well let's find the others, okay? Just in case your beauty and charm doesn't work a second time."

"That's impossible, but I guess we'll risk it if it will make you feel better."

I lit my wand and followed the path back the way we came. It was a little harder to do now that Sirius was lagging behind me, but I was at least sure we were going somewhat in the right direction. If we ran across the centaurs again, they would know we were going back to the castle.

"Well, I don't think we have to worry about finding the others," Sirius said nodding up at the sky. Red sparks hovered in the sky above the trees.

"So, they found whatever they were looking for," I murmured watching as the sparks hung in the air for a moment before they started to dim.

Sirius instantly relaxed, looking positively relieved. "Thank Merlin. If they hadn't I would have personally murdered Peter."

He headed back through the castle with a spring in his step, and I struggled to match his long-legged strides.

"I still say you're to blame for giving it to Peter to hold in the first place," I told him as we weaved quickly through the trees.

"Poor Wormtail," Sirius sighed. "I wonder how he'll react to finding out you think him so incompetent."

"I highly doubt Peter will be very affected by my opinion of him," I told Sirius carefully, "I like him fine."

I could see the castle in the distance now, and started to feel very relieved as we approached the entrance to the grounds. As fun as it had been, I was anxious to get back to school, before one of us got attacked by some other creature lurking in the shadows.

"The thing about Peter is, he's sensitive," Sirius started, winding into a dramatic soliloquy, "And finding out that you dislike him will only make him- "

Sirius stopped, tripping over something small and fluffy in front of him. For a moment, I panicked that it might be one of the animals I had seen last night, when I heard a very distinctive hiss. One I had heard earlier this evening. Sirius recognized it too, and swore.

It was Mrs. Norris, standing in front of us, flashing her tiny sharp fangs. I turned to Sirius motioning for him to run. If Mrs. Norris was here, then Filch couldn't be far behind.

We moved, starting to run, when a figure stepped out from behind one of the giant tree's.

"My, my. We are in trouble, aren't we?" a drawling voice purred as the figure stepped into Sirius' wand light.

It was Filch. We were caught.


	7. November Whims

7

November Whims

I felt the panic hit me so quickly it felt like being doused with ice water. Caught. Filch had caught us. Of course, he had. It had happened too quickly. Too fast for Sirius and I to even exchange two words with one another, let alone try to run. Filch had grabbed us both by the collars of our sweaters and smiled. We had no choice but to face the punishment. The old caretaker was beaming at us, looking as though he had been given a great gift. What little light the moon was giving off was reflecting off Filch's yellowed teeth as he grinned, and Mrs. Norris rubbed up against his right leg as he let out a gleeful chuckle.

"Two students out of bed!" Filch cried happily. "And on a romp in the Forbidden Forest! What a treat this!"

I wanted to groan. If Filch was this excited, then I didn't doubt he would make a big production of it to McGonagall when we got back to the castle. We were going to be lucky if we made it out of this without an expulsion. I felt my body tighten nervously as I imagined facing McGonagall and her stern expression. I suddenly felt very stupid. Why had I come out here in the first place? I should have risked the detention from Filch.

I exchanged a quick look with Sirius. His eyes were locked Filch's, narrowing angrily. Filch noticed.  
"I'd look more worried if I were you, boy," Filch crowed at him. "Not the first time I've caught you out here, is it? I suspect your little band of trouble-makers aren't far, are they?" His eyes darted back to the edge of the forest, clearly searching for any sign of the other Marauders. He knew that where one was, the others were never far. Sirius seemed to sense this and rolled his eyes.

"Sorry to disappoint you, you old wanker," Sirius snapped, "but it's just us tonight. You'll have to settle for two."

For a moment, my eyes widened in disbelief. I couldn't believe that despite all the trouble we were no doubt already in, Sirius would be pressing his luck by sassing Filch.

Filch let out a low growl. "Awfully confident aren't ya? Well we'll see if you're this confident when I drag you to your Head of House?"

He gripped our sweaters tighter and dragged us towards the castle at a firm pace. A small smile crossed Sirius' face as he shoved us forward, and only then did I realize what he had done. He was distracting Filch, forcing him to expedite our punishment so the other people in the forest could sneak back into the dormitories. No sense in all of us get caught.

If I wasn't so nervous about-facing McGonagall, I would commend him on his cleverness, but the fear in my stomach had gotten worse as Filch shoved us through the doors to the castle. I could barely feel my legs as he led us to his office and forced us into the tiny room. There was a half-eaten sandwich on his desk, and from the smell of it, it had been there a while. Filch shoved us toward the chairs and sneered, waiting until we both sat down in them to say anything.

"Now, I'm off to find Professor McGonagall," Filch said, taking out a key from his pocket. It was black and iron. Filch made a big show of locking us in and then slammed the door and disappeared off to fetch McGonagall.

The moment his footsteps died down, Sirius was on his feet, fiddling with the lock. His wand pointed firmly at it.

 _"_ _Alohomora!"_ The lock didn't budge at all. It was clearly bewitched with magic, and I doubted any kind of magic that students would know. Sirius swore and tried another charm that didn't work. I sat silent in the chair, wrapping my arms around my legs, and trying to prepare myself for the tirade we were about to get from McGonagall. When Sirius finally moved onto trying to freeze the lock off, I intervened.

"That's not going to work," I told him shaking my head. "I heard Flitwick tell McGonagall that Filch finally got permission for bewitched locks."

Sirius groaned and plopped down in the seat beside me, sighing. "What a bloody loon. I bet he was looking forward to this all night. The barmy old wanker probably sat outside of the castle and hoped someone would come out for him to punish." He gave Filch's desk a firm kick, and some of the drawers rattled noisily. "I hope the others made it back, alright." He was quiet for a moment after that. His features changing from furious to worried. It wasn't a comforting sight to see Sirius look worried. I had never been in any real trouble before at Hogwarts, and wasn't prepared for what was going to happen.

I sighed. "How angry do you think McGonagall will be?"

Sirius avoided my gaze. "I think it's probably better if you _don't_ think about it."

Great. I could practically feel McGonagall's anger radiating through the room. My throat felt like it was going to close up from the nerves of it all. A moment later, the doors to Filch's office slammed open, shaking the walls of the tiny, dank room.

McGonagall stood in the doorway, her stern face white with anger. Her hair was pinned to her head and a light pink dressing gown was wrapped tightly over her. From the look on her face, I knew she was furious.

"TWO GRYFFINDORS OUT OF BED ON HALLOWEEN! AND IN THE FORBIDDEN FOREST!" her voice was so shrill, I was sure Hagrid's new puppy could hear it from his hut. I immediately recoiled from it, standing gingerly, while Sirius seemed a little less affected. He stood slumped against his chair not taking his eyes off of McGonagall. He was definitely more worried than he had been a moment ago, but he looked more relaxed than I did. I guess he was more used to it then I was. He got in trouble with McGonagall all the time.

McGonagall's lecturing wasn't stopping, instead she seemed to be getting even angrier. "PULLED OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT FOR THIS?" she exclaimed.

Her focus turned to Sirius, and her expression became absolutely murderous. Her thin lips pulled into a line that only drew more attention to the fury etched there.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DANGEROUS THE FORBIDDEN FOREST IS? THERE IS A REASON IT IS FORBIDDEN TO STUDENTS. YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED OUT THERE!"

I hated hearing Professor McGonagall shout but her withering stare was even worse. I was cowering beneath her.

"Luckily for us, though, we weren't," Sirius replied cheekily. McGonagall gave him a furious look. He seemed to be fueling her rage, and wasn't keen on denying what we had done. Not that we could, with Filch as a witness.

"Not that I have come to expect anything different from you Mr. Black," McGonagall snapped crossing her arms angrily. Then her gaze turned to me. "But you Ms. Meadowes. I expect better from _you._ "

I could feel my cheeks flashing as scarlet as my tie, as embarrassment washed over me. I kept my eyes trained on the floor, desperate to avoid the piercing look of disappointment Professor McGonagall wore. I had so far managed to go five years without disappointing Professor McGonagall, and I now knew why. Her yelling was nothing compared to the look she was giving me. I'd rather listen to a hundred dull history of magic lessons than spend one more minute watching her look at me like _that._

"What do you have to say for yourselves?" She demanded.

Embarrassed was too small a word to describe what I was feeling. I couldn't believe I had gone out there tonight. It didn't matter if it had been fun or exciting, I had broken a school rule. I deserved McGonagall's anger.

"I'm so sorry, Professor," I admitted quickly. It didn't seem to be enough to express how I was feeling, but it was all I could manage to say. I let my eyes drop to the floor again, feeling very cowardly.

Sirius placed a hand over his heart dramatically, "As am I, Professor. Really can't tell you how much it pains me to have been this naughty."

McGonagall's eyes narrowed at him and Filch let out a low angry growl that made the fur on the ends of Mrs. Norris' tale stand up straight.

"Honestly, Mr. Black," McGonagall demanded. "Can you take nothing seriously? You've broken at least three school rules tonight."

I thought it was very impressive that Sirius managed to hold his tongue after that. Especially after she had used the word serious. I could see the excitement forming on his face, and watched it promptly disappear when he remembered how much trouble we were in.

"Sorry, Professor," Sirius added quickly. She threw him a frustrated, angry glance.

"What about punishment Ma'am?" Filch demanded, hovering near McGonagall's right shoulder. He eyed Sirius and I greedily, no doubt fantasizing about having us expelled from Hogwarts, or at the very least locked in the dungeons until our seventh year.

"Oh, rest assured Argus there will be punishment," Professor McGonagall told him harshly. She turned back to us, her eyes narrowed to slits.

"The both of you will receive a week's worth of detention," she said firmly. Sirius actually looked relived at that. Of course, to him, A week's worth of detention was very little. In our third year, he and James had once gotten a month's worse of detentions for vanishing Antonin Dolohov. It had taken a week to find him. I'd only had a few detentions while I was at Hogwarts, and never more than one night. A week felt endless.

McGonagall seemed pleased by our silent agreement, and Filch looked downright disappointed. She straightened her dressing gown, giving us another stern look. " _And_ fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor," she added quickly.

My jaw swung open so quickly it almost hurt. I couldn't stop the gasp that escaped my lips. _Fifty_ _points?_ Up until now, I hadn't lost a single point for Gryffindor, and now? I would be jeopardizing the House Cup. I wanted to sink into the floor and die. Even McGonagall didn't look very happy about it. I had to do something.

"Please Professor," I begged quickly. I could feel the nervous babbling beginning to form in my throat. I "I know it was wrong what we did, and I am so sorry. I'll never do anything like this again, I swear. Please don't take points from Gryffindor for my mistake. I'll take double the detentions if that's what it takes, but don't blame all of the house for a choice I made."

Sirius stared back at me as if I had three heads, and Filch let out a slightly annoyed noise. I didn't care what they thought. I had to try. I couldn't lose Gryffindor house fifty points because I decided to follow Sirius to the forest. That was too selfish.

McGonagall's face didn't change as she eyed me angrily. I didn't know if she was mulling over my suggestion or trying to come up with a worse punishment for my cheek.

"I've never lost points before, Professor," I said softly. "And I promise you, I never plan too again."

McGonagall sighed, sounding more exhausted than angry. "Alright Ms. Meadowes, you and Mr. Black will have two week's worth of detention beginning on Monday. As long as you show up promptly and behave, no points will be taken from your house."

I could have kissed her. I was that thrilled. I beamed back at her, trying to express just how appreciative I was. I could handle two weeks of detention as long as the rest of the house didn't suffer.

"Thank you, Professor. _Thank you,_ " I told her clutching my chest.

McGonagall gave me a curt nod. "I want no trouble during these next two weeks, or I will take those points," She said firmly. Then she looked directly at Sirius and said, "From either of _you._ "

Sirius flashed her one of his classic, flirtatious smiles. "For you, Minnie? Absolutely."

McGonagall rolled her eyes, looking very annoyed.

Filch whined from the corner of the room. "But Ma'am, just detention? Surely they deserve something worse. _That boy_ is always out on the grounds." He pointed an indignant finger at Sirius.

McGonagall shot the caretaker a steely stare. "Ms. Meadowes and Mr. Black are in _my_ house, Argus, and I shall punish them as _I_ see fit." There was no missing the ferocity in her tone. Filch cowered in the corner and shot a furious look at both Sirius and I, as if we were the reason he had been told off.

"Yes, Ma'am."

McGonagall turned back to us. "Now you two. Go to bed. Straight to the dormitories before I change my mind."

It was an order. Neither Sirius or I hesitated as we headed for the door. When we rounded the corner, we could still hear McGonagall telling off Filch.

"Blimey, that was close," Sirius said shaking his head. "I was sure Filch was going to get us expelled or something. Were lucky that McGonagall was feeling generous,"

"Lucky?" I asked him in disbelief, climbing the stairs two at a time to keep up with his long strides. "We still got two week's worth of detention."

If Sirius considered that lucky, I wondered how much trouble he really had been in Hogwarts. I still couldn't wipe away the pit of guilt I felt in my stomach from McGonagall's chiding. I never wanted to experience that again. I didn't understand how Sirius could possibly have been through _that_ that many times before.

"You begged for those two weeks," Sirius chuckled. "And I do mean, _begged._ "

"Would you have rather lost _fifty points_ for Gryffindor?" I asked him, stopping on the steps to cross my arms.

"Course not," Sirius said rolling his eyes at me. "I'm just surprised she let you off. I guess it's probably because you're a first timer and all. Come to think of it, that's probably why she was easy on me too. If I had been alone, I'd have gotten a month of detentions _at least._ She's tired of catching me out there. _"_

"You know," I told him as we rounded the corner. "Have you ever considered stopping going out there altogether? You all could probably save yourself a lot of time in detention if you did."

Sirius gave me a gentle shake of his head. "Not an option." I rolled my eyes. Right, because of his _marauder business._

The last staircase seemed to last the longest. We trudged up it, and I suddenly started to feel the pit forming in my stomach again as I imagined explaining what had happened tonight to my friends. I could practically feel Lily and Mary's disapproving glances already.

"I do feel a touch guilty that _you_ got caught," Sirius said as we approached the portrait of the Fat Lady, who was snoozing happily against one of the posts. "Feel like I might have soured you a bit on Marauder excursions." He frowned.

I shook my head. "It's not your fault, well not _really_. I went out there willingly. I knew it was a consequence."

Sirius frowned. "Still, it's rotten luck. We're out there all the time and never get caught. Maybe you're the bad luck."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yeah? Tell that to the centaurs."

"Touché, Meadowes."

The Fat Lady was irked we had woken her up in the middle of the night, even resorting to pretending she couldn't hear us knocking on her frame, and when she did finally wake, it took us almost ten minutes to convince her to let us back into our own common room.

"Next time you do this, I'm not letting you in," she hissed at Sirius. "You and your little friends have me up half the night every other week."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure." Sirius rolled his eyes at her and climbed through the portrait hole after me. The moment we had entered the common room, several people ambushed us. I could barely see anything except the flurry of my three friends as they clustered around me. Each of them were dressed in their pajamas and looked as if they had spent the last hour pacing the common room. Now, I felt even guiltier. They had been worrying about me.

"Where have you been?" Lily demanded of me, her arms crossed firmly. "We thought Rabastan had murdered you or something!"

"I told you she was with Sirius," James called lazily from where he laid stretched across one of the couches with Remus and Peter.

Besides my dorm mates, they seemed to be the only ones still in the common room. It was then I realized that it was after two. We had been out there longer than I thought.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "And I was just supposed to _believe_ that Doe wandered into the Forbidden Forest with you lot?"

James smirked. "Why would I lie to you, Evans?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to even get into that conversation with you, Potter."

Marlene's eyes were trained on Sirius and me, as Lily threw dirty glances at James.

"Did you really go into the Forbidden Forest?" Marlene asked in disbelief. " _You?_ " It was impossible to tell if she was more impressed or confused.

I gave her a small nod, hoping she wouldn't press it. I already felt stupid enough about it without having to go into detail, and especially while we weren't alone.

"Did you get detention?" Remus asked Sirius from his armchair.

Sirius nodded. "Course. McGonagall wanted to give us a week's detention and take fifty points, but Doe talked her into two weeks instead." He chuckled as he said the last part, and James and Peter soon joined in. Remus threw me a sympathetic smile.

"You talked yourself into _more_ detention?" Mary asked me in disbelief. She looked like she might want to join in the laughter too, but was refraining for my benefit.

I gave her a knowing look. "It's better than losing fifty points for Gryffindor."

Marlene chuckled, "That's debatable. Especially considering the state of you right now." She reached forward to pluck a dried leaf out of my hair.

"That's the result of fun, McKinnon," Sirius told her. "You'd have loved it. Maybe we'll bring all of you Gryffindor girls out next time."

"I wouldn't go if you paid me," Lily told him rolling her eyes. "Come on, let's all go up to bed before one of them comes up with a way to get one of us even more detention."

Marlene cast a fleeting look back at the Marauders and it was clear she had planned to stay, but she got up from her spot on the chair anyway, managing to look like a supermodel even in her fleece pajamas.

"See you in Detention, Meadowes!" Sirius called back as we rounded the stone staircase back to the dormitories. I ignored him.

The second we were out of sight, Marlene locked her arms around mine and yanked me towards the window.

"How could you go on a trip to the forbidden forest with the Marauders and not invite me?" she demanded pouting. "That's my dream."

"How could you do it, period?" Lily whispered, her expression horrified. "When James told me, I thought they confounded you or something."

Mary chuckled and Marlene rolled her eyes, but Lily waited for a response. It was clear she wanted an answer. One I would have to give her.

"It really wasn't a plan or anything," I assured them. "It just sort of happened. I had to go the long way to the dormitory to avoid Rabastan and then I ran into Sirius, and he coaxed me into going along, and then when we got back we got caught by Filch."

"But the rest of them were there too?" Marlene asked, her eyes were alive with excitement and I knew the moment Lily wasn't around giving us the stern looks, she'd want every detail.

I nodded. "Yeah, but further away. So, they made it out without detention. The whole thing was incredibly stupid. I wish I hadn't gone. It wasn't worth two weeks of detention."

Lily frowned. "It's not fair only you and Sirius got detention if the rest of them were there too," she mused, throwing a glance back to the Common Room. It looked as if she considered going straight to McGonagall and ratting on James herself.

"It's fine, honestly," I assured Lily, giving her arm a good squeeze. "I'm okay. I really just want to go to bed."  
Lily smiled at me, and the four of us both crawled up the stairs slowly towards the dormitories. I was exhausted and my stockings were ripped a little from the branches and twigs.

"Well you missed a really great game of Bertie Botts Roulette," Mary chuckled. "Lily beat everyone."

"I wish you had been there," Lily said. "It was epic."

I smiled back at her. "I'm sure it was Lily. Sorry, I missed it."

"That's what you get for running around with Marauders," she said shaking her head. "Of all the people I definitely would have thought it would have been Marlene to do that." She jumped ahead up the stair with Mary at her heels, and I couldn't help but think it was out of character for me. I never did things like this. It was Sirius' influence, no doubt. Tutoring him had exposed me to his behavior and moral yardstick so much I was starting to make reckless decisions just like him.

Just before we got to our floor Marlene leaned into my ear. "You're going to tell me all about it later, right?" she demanded.

I grinned at her. "In excruciating detail, Marls." Marlene winked, and the two of us followed Mary and Lily back to the dormitory.

I had trouble sleeping that night. I couldn't shake the sense of guilt I felt for breaking a school rule and disappointing Professor McGonagall. The more I thought about it, the guiltier I felt, and I realized, it was because I had had fun.

Sure, it had been reckless and stupid to go out into the forest with the Marauders, no wonder Lily thought I had been confounded. I could barely believe it myself.

I spent most of the weekend feeling very stupid. Sure, being in the Forest had been an adventure and it was fun and all, but it hadn't been worth the punishment I was facing. Every time I passed McGonagall in the hall or saw her at the high table, I was sure there was still a touch of disappointment to the looks she gave me, no matter how much Lily swore otherwise. I knew it was just me, overacting, but it was still a hard feeling to shake. I _never_ got in trouble for this reason. I didn't like feeling like I was disappointing anyone. Especially not at Hogwarts. I didn't have a family of my own anymore. The people in this castle were the only family I had. Disappointing McGonagall felt like disobeying a parent.

To make matters worse, somehow half the house had found out about Sirius' and I's detentions and relished in teasing me about it. It was thrilling to them, the idea of goody-two shoes Doe Meadowes getting in trouble.

The four Marauders had bowed to me at breakfast on Saturday morning, and Landon McKinnon had told me I was cooler than Marlene. A comment that resulted in getting a serving of jam thrown at him from his sister. I couldn't exactly blame my housemates. It would only have been stranger if it had been Lily with the detentions.

"Ignore them," Mary had told me on Saturday morning, after Krysten Morris had proudly proclaimed that Sirius was ruining my perfect behavior. "They're just teasing because you never get into trouble," she reminded me.

I tried to be easygoing about it, but it was starting to worry me. I couldn't act like this if I wanted to be an auror someday. I needed to behave myself.

I still couldn't believe how lucky I was that McGonagall had decided not to take points from Gryffindor. If she had, I doubted I'd be getting such a lighthearted reaction from the other Gryffindors. Especially not now, that we were in the lead for the House Cup. And with the first Quidditch Match of the year coming up soon, we needed all the help we could get.

I almost felt bad for Sirius. In addition to having detention every night this week, he had Quidditch practices too. He and James spent hours every night on the Quidditch pitch coming back to the common room sweaty and covered in dirt, with large circles under their eyes.

It didn't bother me much that Sirius wasn't around. I had been avoiding him since the incident in the forest. It wasn't Sirius' fault, I had gone willingly, but I knew it was something that I would have never done without him. As fun as Sirius was, he was trouble, and I needed to avoid trouble. Lily frequently reminded me of that.

But I couldn't avoid him entirely. We still had our tutoring sessions, and the first week of our detentions went by very smoothly. We spent a few hours after dinner in McGonagall's classroom organizing and alphabetizing the dusty textbooks in her storage rooms. She didn't hover and Sirius took this as an excuse to sit in the corner while I did all the work.

People stopped teasing me about the detentions quickly enough. They had bigger things on their minds. As October gave way November, the air seemed to freeze overnight. The weather had gotten so cold that every time someone stepped outside onto the grounds, they had to be bundled up from head to toe.

"It's too bloody cold for this," Marlene complained, bitterly wrapping a second Gryffindor scarf around her as the four of us trudged towards the greenhouses for our Thursday morning Herbology class.

"Where did you manage to get a _second_ Gryffindor scarf?" I asked, nodding at her neck, where one was piled on top of the other.

Marlene shrugged. "Sturgis gave it me." There was an edge to her voice that I didn't quite understand. Marlene was never usually bitter unless she had a reason for it. She was normally the one bounding up and down the path to the Greenhouses, talking about how joyous winter was. Something was bothering her. I could tell.

" _Gave?"_ Mary asked her, moving her fringe out of her eyes. "On the first frigid day of the year?"

"Are you implying I stole from a house mate?" Marlene chuckled wrapping the scarf around her tighter.

The two scarves were effortlessly styled on her neck and her cheeks were flooded with color despite the chill that was whipping past them.

Lily shook her head. "Of course not, Marley. Sturgis would give his wand to make you happy."

Marlene made a face and wrenched the door of the greenhouse open with more force than necessary, letting it slam backward on it's hinges right in Odie Macmillan's face. Now I knew was right, something was definitely wrong.

"Something wrong, Mar?" I asked her as she headed for or usual table at a quick jog, her long legs taking her there much faster than the rest of us.

Marlene shrugged, her eyes rolling a little as she plopped down in the stool at the table. "Well not wrong, I guess, but Sturgis and I aren't really together anymore." She said it as though she was unaffected, but there was a twinge of contentment to her features.

"You broke up with him?" Mary asked, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Marlene nodded, slightly annoyed. "Yeah. I caught him staring at Emmeline Vance during the Slytherins Quidditch practice, while she wrote down the new players last names. He swore he was just watching the team's strategy, but come on. Did he really expect me to believe that? It's _Vance._ "

I knew what she meant. Emmeline Vance was one of the prettiest girls in the schools. Her dark blonde hair, bright green eyes, and sharp square jawline made her hard to look away from and her job as Quidditch Match commentator had given her a god-like following from our male schoolmates. Even being a Slytherin didn't stop people from liking her. Everyone was always trying to get with Emmeline, even more than Marlene. No wonder it had bothered her to see Sturgis looking at her.

"Emmeline is nice," Lily reminded her. "You like her, remember?"

Marlene gave her a knowing look. "I know she's nice, doesn't mean I want someone I'm seeing staring at her like she's Celestina Warbeck." She slammed her Herbology textbook down on the table, clearly agitated.

I wrapped a comforting arm around Marlene's shoulders, "I'm sorry Marley."

"It's fine," Marlene huffed tossing her hair over her shoulder, "I've moved on. Bertram Aubrey has been asking about me anyway."

"No more Sirius then?" Lily asked. She did her best to seem impartial, but it was clear she was hoping the answer was yes.

Marlene shrugged. "I don't know. Lately I've been thinking of pursuing other options. Don't get me wrong, I haven't crossed the idea out completely," She added watching Lily's look of pure delight. She continued, "I just think I might like the idea of a boyfriend more than a conquest."

Mary beamed at her. "I think that's a great idea, Marls. You're way too great to be anyone's one night stand."

"So they tell me," Marlene said confidently, said fluttering her eyelashes at us. Some of the color rose back to her cheeks and she seemed to settle back into her usual, confident self. I felt relief wash over me as she danced in her seat. There was something deeply unsettling about ever seeing Marlene upset.

Most of the day flew by. Our classes weren't very difficult, but we did end up with a large pile of homework again. Something that seemed to be becoming a pattern in our fifth year. I spent all of my tutoring session with Sirius working on a particularly grueling Potions essays, while he worked on Charms homework. After dinner, we had our final detention with McGonagall, which ended with another stern glare from her and a promise that we would never do anything like this again. I swore up and down that I wouldn't, glad that her disappointment would be over soon. Sirius swore too, but I doubted even McGonagall could miss the twinges of a smile that traced his lips. I doubted he'd be able to go a week without a prank.


	8. It's Called Quidditch, Bitch

8

It's Called Quidditch, Bitch

For days, the only thing anyone in the entire castle had been able to talk about was the Quidditch Match this weekend. It didn't matter where you went or what class you were in, everyone excitedly speculated about the outcome of the match, and wished for the weekend to come sooner. The match was Gryffindor V. Slytherin, and that was always an interesting game to watch. Gryffindor and Slytherin had more rivalry than other two houses, and after losing the cup to the Slytherins two years in a row, the Gryffindor team was itching to get back out on the field. I hardly saw anyone on the team the week before the match, and when I did, they looked particularly exhausted. Sirius and James stumbled into the Common Room every night well after nine, covered in such extensive layers of dirt and sweat it looked like they would never be clean again. They weren't the only ones taking practices seriously either. Hestia Jones and Fabian Prewett were sporting new dark circles under their eyes, and had practically fallen asleep at the breakfast table. They were clearly putting in as much time as they could on the pitch. Marlene told me in confidence that McGonagall had been putting a lot of pressure on her brother Landon to return the House Cup to her office. When I saw Landon at dinner, the night before the match, he had his head buried over a piece of parchment scribbled with Quidditch plays, and kept flashing looks at his players. His right leg hadn't stopped shaking the entire time he sat there.

"I think he's being a bit ridiculous if I'm being honest, "Marlene said later that night on the floor of our dormitory. "I mean it is a Game after all."

The three of us were circled around an old bedsheet, using some of Mary's art supplies to try and turn it into a poster for tomorrow's match. Mary was an excellent artist, and had was busy glittering a sketch of the Gryffindor crest in each corner. Lily was supposed to be helping us, but after dinner, Snape had dragged her off to the library to talk about something in private, despite Marlene's protests.

"He's probably just worried because he's Captain," I told her adding another coat of glitter to Mary's excellent drawing of the snitch. "And he _really_ loves Quidditch."

"He's not the only one," Marlene said observing my careful movements over the poster.

I smiled back. Marlene knew full well how much I adored watching Quidditch, having been forced to sit through every match with me since first year. I winked at her.

"I think Landon is going to be a good Captain," Mary said, not looking up as she drew, a trace of a smile crossing her full bow lips. "I mean, he's a fantastic player. He _always_ catches the snitch. Remember that match last year against Hufflepuff? He annihilated Amos Diggory by feinting. McGonagall said it was better executed by him than by Puddlemore United." Mary practically beamed as she spoke about it, a dreamy look cast across her features.

Marlene raised an eyebrow at her. "Please don't talk like that in front of him. The last thing Landon needs is someone else complimenting him. His ego is getting huge."

"And usually you McKinnon's are known for what, your _humbleness?_ " I joked. I could barely get it out without laughing. Mary joined in and Marlene flicked a pinch of glitter at me.

"Hil- _arious_ , Meadowes," She said, trying to fight the smile that was stretching across her face. She stretched her legs out in front of her and watched while Mary and I carefully wrote out _Fly High, Gryffindor_ in fun lettering across the sheet.

"It'll be good to have something fun to do tomorrow," Marlene said as she watched. "We could use it with all the depressing news that we've been getting."

Mary's hand stopped moving across the letter she was drawing and her face grew pale. "Can we not talk about _Him_ , please?" she whispered softly, not looking up from the sheet. "I swear it's all we hear about from the Slytherins, and I just want to pretend that stuff isn't happening. The murders, the blood purity, all of it. I hate talking about it."

Marlene's eyes flashed over to mine immediately, widening them in concern. I didn't know what to say. I knew everything about You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters scared Mary much more than it did other people. I tried avoiding bringing it up in front of her as much as possible as not to upset her, but I also thought it was a little naïve to pretend it wasn't happening. Then again, I had much more tangible reasons to not forget it. I could never forget it. Blood Purity killed my parents. Every time I thought of them, or missed them, you-Know-Who and his supporters usually followed in my thoughts.

Marlene loved talking about it. Like me, she wanted to stop the people who were supporting him, and had no reasons why it would hurt too. Marlene's family were all Purebloods. She had nothing to fear or lose like Mary and I had.

"Did I tell you guys about Hagrid's new puppy?" I asked quickly, trying to change the topic before Mary got upset.

"Hagrid got a dog?" Marlene asked, looking nervous. "Who let _that_ happen?"

We launched into a long conversation about Hagrid, his new puppy and everything he had told me when we had tea. Sometime later, both Rylie and Alice returned from the Common Room where they had been talking with Nora and Krysten.

Mary and I hung the poster up to dry over the heater, and even from our beds, the glitter sparkled perfectly. Rylie spent at least ten minutes looking at it from her bed, complimenting Mary on her skillful hand.

It was almost curfew when Lily ducked into the common room, panting slightly. The rest of us were already dressed and ready for bed, talking quietly.

"Sorry I was gone so long," Lily said plopping down on her bed, in robes and all. She looked exasperated, like she had had to run all the way through the castle to make it back on time. "Sev talked my ear off tonight."

"Three guesses on what," Marlene whispered only loud enough for me to here. Her face was screwed up as though she could picture nothing else besides hitting Snape across the face. I threw her a pointed glance.

Lily didn't notice. She leaned up on her elbows and took a long look at the poster that was hanging in front of her. She smiled. "You guys did a brilliant job on that. I suspect they'll have to win the match now."

"We won't lose," Alice said confidently from her bed, straightening her pillow for the third time. "We're Gryffindors, we win!"

Rylie snorted into her pillow. "Not for the last two years we haven't."

Marlene groaned under her covers. "I don't even want to think about the mood Landon will be in if they lose again. I'll probably have to spend every day over Christmas break out on brooms."

I choose not to point out to her that spending an entire vacation flying brooms over Marlene's massive estate was my idea of a dream vacation.

Lily rolled over in her bed and stared up at the top of the four posters dreamily. "Merlin, I hope the holidays hurry up. I need a break from all of this homework we've been getting."

"Frank told me yesterday that it only gets worse after Christmas," Alice said with a sigh, exstingusihing the light from the lantern beside her. "Something about the closer the exams get, the more we have to start cramming for it."

Marlene groaned so loudly in response that Rylie's cat hissed and darted off of her bed.

"No talk of homework or exams the night before Quidditch," I warned my dorm mates, giving them a stern look. "You're going to ruin my buzz."

"You're buzz?" Alice struggled to hide a giggle.

"You heard the girl," Marlene added confidently extinguishing the last light, and as my dorm mates chuckled softly in response.

It took a while for everyone to fall asleep that night, as the excitement for the match the next day made them too jittery. It was hours before every one of my dorm mates had quieted down. At one point, Marlene had tossed an overly stuffed feather pillow at Mary that had almost started a pillow war. Thankfully, an intervention from Alice broke it up before it got too far. It had taken me the longest to fall asleep. I tossed and turned for hours before I was finally able to fall into a deep slumber.

I dreamt about my parents. I did most nights, at least for a little while. There's faces flashed through my mind quickly, painfully reminding me of memories from my past and one's I would never have the chance to experience.

 _We were in the leaky cauldron now, I remembered the memory. It was the day we had bought my robes for Hogwarts. I was barely eleven. My mum's face was so beautiful, lit up with the joy I always remembered. My father was strong, protective, but with eyes full of love when he looked at his wife._

 _The dream changed quickly. My parent's faces lingered but they weren't sitting in the pub with me anymore. Now they were alone, afraid, standing around a kitchen table, pleading. It was our kitchen table. The one in our old house. Across from them was a man who looked so much like me and my mother it stopped me dead. The same pale blonde hair. The same sharp features. The same wide, blue eyes. All mirror on the face of a cruel handsome young man. A man with a wand pointed at their faces. I recognized it immediately from years of hidden family portraits, Aubleus. Where were there wands? Why didn't they have them?_

 _This wasn't a memory or mine. I had never seen this through my eyes._

 _"_ _GET OUT OF HERE!" my father roared at his brother-in-law, standing purposefully in front of his pregnant wife._

 _Aubleus only laughed. "Filthy Mudblood. Haven't you done enough already?" I couldn't deny the pain or hurt that flashed through my father's eyes. It ripped at my stomach. He cast a horrified expression at my mother. She didn't look scared at all. Her face wasn't filled with fear at all. Not a trace. It was indignant as she clung to her husband._

 _"_ _I'm your sister," she spat at Aubleus._

 _Aubleus lip curled backward. "You're no sister of mine." Then he raised his wand, and I instantly knew what that meant._

 _I wanted to scream, to help in some way., but I was immobile. The dream moved quickly, too quickly for me to do anything. I could only stand and watch in horror as the wand pointed at them moved, flashing entire room with horrible green light, and my parent's bodies fell to the floor. Cold. Lifeless. Dead._

My eyes flew open immediately, like someone had flipped a switch. On either side of me, my hands were shaking, and there was a pressure on my chest that made it feel like I couldn't breathe. I immediately reached beside me for my wand, lifting myself from the bed before I could scream.

It took me a full minute of observing the four poster beds to remember where I was. Safe, at Hogwarts. I ran my hand over my face, trying desperately to get my heart to stop racing. Through the tower window I could see that the sun was just starting to rise. All of my dorm mates were still sleeping peacefully, their faces calm and their dreams free of murder scenes.

I brought my knees to my chest and let my hands knot in my hair, doing my best to calm myself down. I could hardly do anything except rock back and forth. It didn't seem to matter what I did, I couldn't shake what I had scene. My parents slaughtered in our home. I closed my eyes. It wasn't real, I reminded myself, practically biting my bottom lip off.

It was a dream. A nightmare. I _knew_ that. I hadn't been there the night they died. I was still at Hogwarts then, getting ready to come home for Christmas break. There was no way what I had just seen was what had really happened. It was just my subconscious making things up, filling in the gaps with what I knew had happened. Probably because of our talks of Christmas the night before. The closer it got to the anniversary of their death, the jumpier I got.

Still, it was impossible to shake from my head. That was probably close to what _had_ happened. I had made up in my head exactly what my parents had probably gone through in their final moments. I didn't know if I was more angry or sad. How could my mother's brother have done that? I didn't care what anyone thought about blood purity or muggleborns, how could anyone murder their own family. One flick of his wand, and he had taken them from me. It had been that simple. The thought made me want to curl up under the blankets and never wake up.

I decided to get up and get dressed rather than go back to sleep. I dressed quickly, gathering my hair into a low ponytail with shaky fingers, doing my best to avoid picturing that horrific scene again in my head. It hurt too much to think about. There wasn't a single day that went by where my heart didn't ache for my parents. They had been dead almost four years now and had missed so much of my life already. Every day was just another reminder of all the things they'd never get to see. I had to fight back the tears that were forming in my eyes as I left the dormitory, doing my best not to wake up any of my dorm mates. The last thing I wanted to do was have an early morning conversation with Rylie about the perils of being an orphan.

It was too early to do anything other than sit on one of the couches in the Common Room. I picked the nicest one in front of the fire, the one that during the day was always crowded with seventh years, and let my head rest on one of the plush arms. I did my best not to wallow in my own grief. Today was the match, and I loved Quidditch, I wanted it to be a good day. If I sat around mourning or thinking too much about the dream, I'd be letting Aubleus take more from me than he already had. Instead, I rested my head on the arm of the couch, watching the cackling fire and doing my best to get excited for today.

I was only down there for about an hour when I heard someone heading down the girl's staircase. I straightened myself and made sure I had wiped any sign of tears from my face, before they emerged, not wanting anyone to see me like this.

A familiar red head bobbed down the staircase and into view. Though it was still early, Lily was dressed already and looked wildly determined. She scanned the room once, her face relaxing the moment she locked eyes on me.

"There you are!" she said, looking relieved as she quietly padded over to the couch. "I was worried. I woke up and your bed was made and you were gone."

She plopped down on the couch beside me, her expression was so motherly and concerned, I wanted to smile.

"Sorry, I had a nightmare." I told her, trying to keep my voice calm and comforting. "I didn't want to wake you guys up, so I came down here."

Lily's bright green eyes widened in concern. "Is everything okay?"

I gave her a quick nod. "Of course. It was nothing."

My best friend raised an eyebrow at me. " _Nothing_ freaked you out so much you came down to the Common Room?"

Lily always saw through me. There wasn't much of a point to trying to hide things from her. She had a way of getting things out of people like McGonagall did. Not that she'd ever push like that. I gave her a sheepish look.

"You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want too," she assured me, reaching out to give my shoulder a comforting squeeze.

I hated talking about things like this. I was always there to listen to any problem Lily, Mary or Marlene was having, but talking about my own always seemed too painful for me. But I was still having trouble shaking the feeling of horror I had felt from that dream. Lily was my best friend, if I could tell anyone about it, it was her.

I took a deep breath, "The nightmare was about my parents," I said softly, trying my best to force the words out. "One second, I was eleven years old and sitting in the Leaky Cauldron with them, and the next, they were being murdered in front of me."

I heard Lily take in a sharp breath from beside me and when I looked back she was frowning, chewing on her bottom lip. "I'm so sorry, Doe," she whispered. "No wonder you didn't want to go back to sleep."

I nodded, feeling like a little weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. "It was horrible, Lily. Realistic too, like I was there. I swear it was like rewatching the whole thing." I shuddered.

Something flickered across her eyes as she listened. Her head moved back and forth a little, like she was considering asking something but didn't want to be rude. After a moment of silence, she spoke up.

"That's odd, don't you think?" she asked quickly. "That you saw it so vividly? I mean you were nowhere near your parents when they died. You don't think it's something more than a dream, do you?" She looked honestly concerned for me. "Not that I'm a _big_ believer in divination…"

I shook my head immediately in answer. That was one possibility I definitely wasn't considering. "I don't think it was anything else, Lils. I mean it's not as if I'm seeing something that's happening now, or Merlin, even seeing something in the future would make more sense. Professor Tellweather would be proud, at the very least." I sighed, thinking of how much easier and more pleasant it would be if I could see into the future rather than the horrors of my own past. "I really think it was just a nightmare. Probably because I missed them, or something. It happens often enough, just not usually like _this._ "

Lily didn't say anything. She just pulled me into a tight hug, her tiny arms wrapping around me. I let her, knowing that this was how Lily expressed herself when words failed her. She was an unfailingly dedicated friend. It was one of my favorite things about her. We were always there for one another when we needed it.

"If you need anything, I'm here," she said firmly when we broke apart. "I mean it Doe, anything. Even if it's something silly like a pumpkin pasty or a good long cry. I'll even pretend I'm not a prefect if you want to do something really scandalous okay? Like a good kick to Mrs. Norris."

I had to suppress the giggle that had formed at the thought of Lily doing anything scandalous and merely gave her a confident smile. "I promise I'm okay, Lils," I assured her. "At least I _will_ be. Thank you for the offer though. Maybe I'll take you up on the Mrs. Norris kicking sometime."

Lily surveyed me again and a small smile crossed her lips. "It's a deal then."

A large clanking sound came from the boy's staircases and the sounds of several people swearing as they trampled down it.

"That'll be the Quidditch players," Lily chuckled, shaking her head, as they filed into the Common Room, one on top of another.

Each of them looked more tired and irritated than the last, dressed in their uniforms and yawning. Landon McKinnon led the pack down the stairs, giving loud firm orders on what each of them were to eat for breakfast.

Of course, only the other Quidditch players would be up this early. They had to eat and make it out to the pitch for warmups.

The two seventh year boys on the team, Henry Wheaton and Eris Saggle were hanging on to Landon's every word, while the others listened patiently. James and Sirius seemed to be actively ignoring their Captain, walking several feet behind the other players and whispering to each other silently. Sirius tossed a fine wooden, beater bat in one hand. He caught it every time with extreme precision, and part of me hoped he was that good with it today. He was a good beater, so was Fabian. The two of them were all over the field, never more than a foot away from a bludger.

"Evans?" James asked excitedly spotting her on the couch as he passed. "A little excited to watch me play, aren't you? You could have at least slept in. Though I do admire the dedication."

I groaned loudly knowing how furious Lily was about to be. Did James always have to be so _James_?

Lily scowled. "Don't you think it's a little early to be this arrogant, Potter?" she asked, thinking along the same lines as me.

James smile lit up his face like a Christmas tree. "Arrogant? Me? Never. It's only arrogant if it's not true."

Sirius raised an eyebrow at his friend. "I'm actually not sure that's true, mate. You may need an updated definition of that word."

James waved him off, still looking at Lily. "I know I'm your favorite player, Evans. Maybe I should get you a jersey with my name on it for Christmas."

Lily sighed so loudly I was sure our dorm mates could hear it. "I'd probably enjoy watching Quidditch a bit more if you weren't on the team," she snapped back venomously. I could see the edges of her mouth twitching as she spoke.

James rolled his eyes, keeping a small smile on his face as he did. "Don't worry, Evans. I'll make sure to keep my eye on you during the match. Make sure you're watching, I'll shout your name and everything."

Lily looked as if it were taking all of her energy not to hex James where he was standing. Her right hand even twitched towards her wand beside her on the couch. She was quick. If she wanted too, she could have hexed him in seconds. I suppose it was just for Gryffindor's sake that she didn't want to rid us of one of our chasers.

"How about you keep your eye on the quaffle instead?" I suggested to James, on Lily's behalf. "That way Gryffindor might actually win this thing?"

The smirk on James face fell immediately, and Sirius, who was hardly paying attention anymore, burst into laughter. Lily looked downright triumphant at my words. I knew why. I was normally the one encouraging her to be nicer to James. Hearing me snap at him made her shine like a little kid on Christmas. I felt a tad guilty. I didn't mind James so much, but it was irritating when he went out of his way to bother Lily, especially so early in the morning.

"Seems like Meadowes is doubting your ability to multitask, Prongs," Sirius said shaking his head. He was grinning at me too, also pleased.

James clutched at his heart, feigning hurt. "Doubting me as a person is one thing, Meadowes, but doubting my Quidditch skills? Unforgivable. And after we took you into the Forbidden forest with us and everything. I thought you were different." He hung his head dramtically. Lily's eyes rolled so hard I was surprised they stayed inside of her skull.

"I ended up with two weeks of detention after that little excursion," I reminded him. "And no one here is doubting your skills, Potter. Only your ability to focus on the task at hand."

James rolled his eyes. Lily looked so pleased, she was downright giddy. Sirius gave me a pointed look.

"Remember that impression I told you you were getting good at?" Sirius asked me carefully. "You're doing an awesome job at it, right now."

I rolled my eyes. _Lily._ He meant that I was acting like Lily. As if that was an insult. I scowled and reached out to kick Sirius in the leg. He was too fast and darted it in seconds.

"That's some Quidditch reflexes for you," he said with a wink. Lily and I both scowled this time, equally annoyed.

Across the room Landon was starting to get annoyed. The rest of the players were near the portrait hole listening to Landon give explicit instructions on something I couldn't hear. A few boys not on the team had already started filing out of the dormitory behind them, decked out in Gryffindor scarves and t-shirts ready for the match, eavesdropping on Landon's words of wisdom. Only James and Sirius seemed to be out of earshot.

"HEY!," Landon shouted gruffly at them. "Are you two planning on joining us any time soon or would you prefer to chat with those birds all day? Because if so let me know, I'm sure the alternates would love to play your spots today!"

The closer the match came, the tenser Landon seemed to become. In all the years I'd known him, I'd never seen him yell like that before. Not even the Christmas in our fourth year when Carmichael stepped on him new broomstick. Maybe Marlene was right and Landon was being a little too serious about Quidditch.

Sirius rolled his eyes at him. "What a drama queen," he whispered to James.

James grinned. "You're calling someone a drama queen? Come one, Pads. That's a bit like the pot calling the kettle black."

"HA! Black. I see what you did there," Sirius chuckled, shaking his head. "Good one, Prongs."

Landon was growing more annoyed with them by the second. From the look on his face, I wondered if his head would swell. He slammed his hands on the table out of annoyance.

"Merlin, I wish Marlene was here right now," I whispered to Lily, as Landon stormed closer. Marlene always loved it when anything exciting happened with her siblings, particularly if she could write her parents about it. She lived for that sort of thing.

Lily nodded, devouring the scene as excitedly as I was. "I know. She'd love this."

"YOU TWO CANNOT BE SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!" Landon shouted at James and Sirius.

Sirius looked physically pained as he turned to James. "Should I go for it?" he whispered. "Or would a pun on my name be inappropriately timed?"

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't at least try," James said. He was speaking to Sirius but staring Lily down again. She seemed to notice, but was doing her best to ignore it, preferring to watch Landon and Sirius.

Sirius opened his mouth to fire back something that would not doubt have Landon McKinnon kicking him off the team when Hestia Jones interrupted him.

"Merlin, whose got McKinnon's knickers in a twist?" Hestia asked, trotting down the stairs from the girl's dormitory. Unlike the rest of the team she looked well rested and calm. She twisted her long dark hair into a ponytail and tucked it happily under her leather keeper's hat, using her fingertips to fan out her fringe.

Hestia was the only girl on the Gryffindor team, and easily one of the most talented players. She stopped more people from scoring than other keeper at Hogwarts, something that had earned her quite the reputation among the boy players. That, and her no-bullshit attitude. It didn't matter who the Captain was on any given year. When Hestia spoke, people _listened._ I had always admired her for that.

"That would be us, I'm afraid," James told her. "We'd better go head to breakfast before he replaces us with a couple of eager fourth years."

"Replace me?" Hestia asked with a snort, her dark eyelashes tracing her tan skin. "I'd like to see him _try_."

She skipped over to where the rest of the team was waiting, with James and Sirius following her like a puppy dog.

Lily watched her with a mild interest, chuckling as Landon attempted to yell at Hestia for being late and seconds later Hestia had him apologizing to _her._

"Where do you think Hestia gets all that confidence?" Lily asked in amazement. "She's like the Wonder Woman of Gryffindor tower."

I shrugged. "Dunno. She and Marlene should bottle the stuff, thought. They'd make a killing."

Lily grinned. "We'll pitch that to Witch Weekly and become very rich women. Every girl at Hogwarts will want some"

"Sounds like a plan to me. Get to potion-brewing, Evans."

Lily and I decided to wait to head down to breakfast with the rest of our dorm mates , watching some of our excited housemates file in and out of the Common Room in various stages of excitement over the match.

Alice and Rylie came down first, both of them bundled up in jackets and headed straight for the Great Hall. It was another ten minutes before Marlene and Mary skipped down arm in arm chatting excitedly.

"Aw look, our lovely friends decided to wait for us," Mary said happily, our newly made banner bunched up under her arms. The glitter sparkled even in the dark Common Room.

"Sweet of them considering they ditched us this morning," Marlene agreed. "I heard you and Doe get up at the crack of dawn." She looked at me with a goofy smile. "What, you were really _that_ excited to watch people fly around on brooms?"

My eyes flickered slightly as she looked at me. I wish it had been excitement for the match that had woken me up this morning. It would have been a hundred times easier than what had happened. I didn't see the point of correcting Marlene, drudging that up would only serve to depress everyone, so I just shrugged. Lily, who knew the truth jumped in before she could ask anything else.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Ditch?" she joked quickly, "You were fast asleep, Marls."

I could have kissed her right there. Lily was truly always looking out for me. I flashed her the biggest smile I could muster. I could tell from the look she gave me that she completely understood my gratitude.

"I wish I was _still_ sleeping," Marlene complained, stifling a yawn as she spoke. "Why does Quidditch have to start _so_ early? Won't the pitch still be there at three?"

"Come on Marlene, it's Quidditch. It's exciting," I reminded her, practically dragging the three of them out of the Common Room. "You always have fun!"

" _You_ always have fun," Marlene added as we passed a group of chattering first years in the corridor, all of whom looked very eager about their first game. "Mary talks through the whole match and Lily usually brings a book."

A little color flushed across Mary's cheeks and she walked more briskly to the Great Hall.

"I don't talk the whole time," she reminded her, "only when you ask me what's going on!"

The corridors were packed with students heading to the Great Hall for breakfast. We had to keep our arms pressed against our sides to void being squished between groups of them as we passed.

I turned to Lily, whose bag was already slung over her shoulder. "You didn't bring a book, did you?" I asked her.

She frowned, looking a little guilty. "Only for the boring parts, I promise."

Boring parts? In Quidditch? I tried to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. "There aren't going to be any boring parts, Lils," I assured her.

"Well then it won't matter if I've brought the book, then will it?"

I sighed knowing that there was no point to continuing the conversation. Lily, like Remus, had very little interest in Quidditch. Something I'd never be able to understand.

"You're obsessed with this game," Marlene said shaking her head at me. "You're one more happy little skip away from turning into my brother."

"Oh let her have her fun," Mary chided Marlene as we entered the hall, throwing a comforting arm around my shoulder, "it looks like she's not the only one excited about the match."

I looked up and found she was right. The Great Hall was a flurry of scarlet and emerald. Across every table, students were proudly boasting t-shirts, banners and scarves of the teams they were supporting. You could hardly see who was who at the house table. The entirety of Gryffindor was dressed in head to toe scarlet and gold, proudly stretching out their handmade banners and signs/

The Slytherin table had done the same, but the emerald and silver always had a darker and colder look than our colors. It didn't hurt that most of them had cocky smiles on the face. I couldn't wait to see them falter on the field. Arrogance never won anyone anything. Emmeline Vance sat beside her housemates at the Slytherin table looking dutiful as ever. She may have to be impartial while commenting, but the neatly pressed Emerald sweater she wore spoke for itself. I wondered idly if it was difficult for her, rooting for her house while her best friend played for the other team. I supposed it had to be.

I was pleased to see that almost the entire Hufflepuff table seemed to be boasting Gryffindor colors. They usually supported us. Amelia waved from her table, where she and her friend Charity Burbage both wore crimsons shirts.

The Ravenclaw was overwhelmingly emerald-clad which wasn't altogether unsurprising even if it was disappointing.

The Gryffindor team members were already gone when we sat down to eat, and the rest of the house seemed to be jumping up and down from excitement in their seats. I noticed Gideon Prewett and Otto Bagman had red paint smeared under their eyes as they talked excitedly to Krysten Morris, who was busy coating her lips in a bright scarlet lipstick.

I ate quickly listening to the excited chatter of the first years from further down the table. Everyone seemed to be shoveling their food down as fast as possible, in an effort to make it to the pitch to get good seats, me included.

By the time I dragged my friends to our seats at the pitch, I was sure they were ready to kill me. Well, all of them except Mary. For some unknown reason, she actually seemed to be excited about this game.

"We got good seats huh?" she asked as we took the last four in the second row from the front. The front row was completely packed with eager first years. It was almost cute how excited they were.

"Very good," I told her nodding excitedly as we crowded together on the bench, "we'll be able to see all the blood from here."

Mary gave me a stern look, "I hope you're joking."

I nodded, flashing her a wide grin. "I am. _Mostly."_ Mary sighed, and suddenly looked very worried. Mary was a natural worrier.

Lily and Marlene both looked exhausted and bored from the steep climb to our seats and were whispering about something besides us, leaning their heads against the wooden posts on their other side. Caradoc Dearborn was sitting a few rows behind Marlene, and hadn't taken his eyes off of her since she had sat down.

"Merlin, could it be any tighter today?" Nora Tenebaum asked as she and Krysten took their seats in the row behind us.

The stands were extremely full today. It seemed that not a single person, student or teacher was skipping this match, and it forced everyone to practically sit on top of one another. I didn't mind one bit. It was more festive this way.

"It's chilly too," Krysten said wistfully, wrapping her scarf around her tighter as she sat on her hands. Marlene rolled her eyes and Lily giggled. Krysten had a bad habit of complaining about everything and it seemed Marlene had already had enough.

Otto Bagman who had taken his seat beside her, sighed. "You won't even notice the cold once the match starts, Krysten."

She made a face at him. "I find that highly unlikely, Bagman."

"Come on Krysten, where's your house pride?" Gideon teased. I hadn't realized her was in the row right behind us. He was sitting directly behind me.

"You sound like Doe," Marlene said shaking her head. "Nothing comes between her and Quidditch." Lily giggled and covered her mouth with a tiny pale hand.

I could feel the color rising to my cheeks and hoped everyone would think it was from the cold.

"Excited about the match, are you then?" Gideon asked from behind me, flashing me a wide crooked smile, full of dimples.

I watched Marlene wink at me from behind Lily's head and had to smile. "You could say that," I told him, chewing on my bottom lip.

Gideon grinned and I turned forward in my seat again before I could say anything else and embarrass myself. Marlene wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Across the pitch, the teacher's stands were starting to fill up with professors, and I noticed them all clearing a rather massive space for Hagrid, right beside Professor Dumbledore.

"Oh look, Hagrid's waving at us!" Marlene said happily, waving back at the giant Gamekeeper happily. Everyone in the vicinity waved back to Hagrid, happy to see the Gryffindor scarf carefully placed around his neck. While it was clearly too short for him, it was hard to deny the pleasure it brought to our entire house. He was one of the only staff members siding with one team. I hoped the Slytherin team noticed.

Remus and Peter slipped into the stands with Frank Longbottom and took the seats on my other side, just as Alice and Rylie stumbled in, forced to take the only seats left in the back row, beside Carmichael McKinnon

"Good day for the match huh?" Frank said to the rest of us as he pulled out a pair of binoculars. I hope to Merlin we win this thing. Can't stand to see the Slytherins look so smug anymore."

"Who can?" Otto Bagman asked. "We better crush them."

"Or Landon will throw himself off of Gryffindor Tower," Marlene said bitterly. She seemed to have noticed Sturgis Podmore take his seat beside Gideon and turned pointedly forward. Sturgis noticed and went rather pink. I almost wanted to giggle, Marlene sure could hold grudges. It would be ages before Sturgis was out of the dog house. Marlene was admired, having her hate you was not a good thing for your reputation.

All around us people in the house were starting to hang and display their posters, so they four of us busied ourselves with spreading out the hanging sign we made, so we could hold it up when ready.

"Any chance this thing will be over before noon this time?" Remus whispered to Frank, "I have a potion essay I need to finish."

"Ugh, I do too, I was supposed to finish it last night," Lily added sadly. "Hopefully we'll be out of here before lunch."

The boys behind us shook their heads at her like she was mad.

"How could you two want Quidditch to be over _faster_?" Peter asked in disbelief. "You don't want to watch James and Sirius defeat Slytherin!?"

From beside me Mary and Lily both rolled their eyes. Marlene let out an entertained chortle, catching my eyes. Per usual, Peter's god-like admiration of Sirius and James was tiring.

Frank shook his head. "Doubt it, Lupin. Slytherin and Gryffindor matches always last a while. Neither of them is ever willing to give up and call it quits."

"Do you blame them?" Gideon asked him. "My brother tells me whenever they lose, the Slytherins taunt them at their practices. They're sore winners, they are."

Frank shook his head. "Doesn't surprise me at all. What a rubbish house."

His words were answered as Emmeline Vance took her seat in front of the microphone in the teacher's box. Her arrival was met with whistling and screams from every boy in the stands. There was no way she didn't notice, but to her credit, Emmeline only smiled and straightened the microphone, while the shouting died down. Beside her, Professor McGonagall looked rather annoyed at the behavior of her male students.

Marlene's eyes were lit with a strange kind of fury I rarely saw. "Look Sturgis," she said turning around to face her former boyfriend, "your favorite part of the match just arrived."

Both Otto Bagman, and Gideon laughed so hard it sounded as if they were choking, and Caradoc Dearborn stared down at Sturgis as if he were a bug he'd like very much to step on.

"Come on, Marlene," Sturgis said looking rather pink and pathetic, "please don't be like that.."

Marlene rolled her eyes, tossing a flurry of her perfect golden hair over her shoulder as she turned back to face the pitch.

"Reckon you made a mistake letting that one go, huh?" Otto Bagman teased him. Sturgis gave him a lethal glare.

I watched a smile stretch slowly scross Marlene's full lips. She was glowing with indignation.

"Very mature," Lily cracked with a smile.

Marlene winked at her. "That's how it's done, Red."

The rest of us couldn't control the giggles that escaped from our mouths. A thud vibrated through the stadium as Emmeline carefully tapped on the magical microphone, echoing the sound and silencing anyone who was speaking.

 _"_ _Welcome everyone to the first Quidditch match of the season, Gryffindor V. Slytherin,"_ Emmeline murmured into the microphone, her velvety voice exciting everyone. _"It looks like Madam Hellsworth is arriving onto the pitch, with the crate as we speak."_

Down on the pitch, the young, fresh-faced Madam Hellsworth dropped the crate of balls onto the squishy earth and smiled up at the crowd.

Emmeline beamed. _"And now it looks like the Slytherin team is entering the pitch! There's Captain Travers, Dolohov, Carrow, Wilkes, Lestrange, Herrow and Black!"_

Seven emerald-clad players darted through the sky on new dark-oak wood brooms, I instantly recognized as the new Meteoroid 75's. Each one cost a sack of galleons. They were moving so fast it was hard to tell who was who until they slowed down enough to sneer at the Gryffindor stands. The Slytherin team was composed of some of the biggest, most muscled members of their house. Most were there only because of their size, but a few were pretty decent players. I frowned noticing that per usual, there wasn't a single girl on the team.

The Captain was Silas Travers, a keeper who still bore a nasty scar over his right eye, and a missing tooth from the stray bludger Fabian Prewett sent at him last year.

I scowled at the players as they passed. Elijah Wilkes was a decent beater, but Amycus Carrow could barely hold a bat. The chasers were decent, but my chest tightened in fear as Rabastan Lestrange made a big show of winking at me as he passed by, a gesture that made my blood run cold, and earned me a side look from Lily, I pretended not to see. The only new player on the team was there seeker. I could hardly believe my eyes when I noticed it was Regulus Black.

 _"_ _Two Blacks this year?"_ Emmeline chuckled into the microphone. _"This is going to get confusing. Bear with me everyone."_

The tiny version of Sirius looked effortless on his broom, flying circles around the other players. I let my mouth turn down as I realized just how quickly he glided. Perfect reflexes for a seeker, and he seemed to know it. He grinned as all of Slytherin House screamed for him. The fellow Gryffindors beside me looked a little nervous as he flew _one-handed._

"Who knew Black Jr. was on Slytherins house team?" Otto asked in horror, all the color and vibrancy draining from his face. "And when did he learn to fly like _that?"_

Regulus was now making a big show of flipping his broom upside down as he scanned the pitch again. Landon McKinnon was an excellent seeker, but he had never flown like that a day in his life. Regulus looked like the broom was an extension of his body. I wondered if Sirius had known about this.

"I mean I knew they had to get a knew seeker after Barrington left, but Regulus Black? Isn't he only _thirteen_?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah that's true," Frank agreed. "He's young. Maybe he'll choke under the pressure."

Otto groaned loudly. Frank swore. Regulus had just jumped into the air and landed perfectly on his broom. The match hadn't even started yet, and Regulus Black was already putting the fear of Merlin into everyone in Gryffindor house.

 _"_ _And here comes the Gryffindor team!"_ Emmeline chanted, _"Captain McKinnon, Potter, Black, Prewett, Saggle, Wheaton and Jones!"_

Our entire stand erupted into screams as our scarlet players sped onto the field in a triumphant fashion. They may not have been riding the newest brooms gold could buy but there was no denying the talent and dedication of every one of those flyers. My friends and I screamed and hollered for the players throwing our sign into the air and cheering "Fly high, Gryffindor!" with the rest of the house. It didn't matter if our opening wasn't as flashy as the Slytherins. You could tell from the screams of every standing Gryffindor which team had more heart.

I could see the stress etched into Landon McKinnon's face as he lined his players up with the Slytherin ones, looking directly into the eyes of Regulus Black. The keepers both lined themselves up at their goalposts. Hestia didn't take her eyes off of the Captain Silas Travers, looking particularly small in her keeper's chest guard. They were made for someone much bigger than her, but she didn't stop that from throwing a cocky smirk Silas' way.

Emmeline straightened herself up as the cheers and screams of the crowd died down, her green eyes narrowing in on the scene below her.

 _"_ _The players of both teams have lined up and are ready. Madame Hellsworth is giving traditional, instructions and is now reaching down to unlatch the chest."_

Each of the players looked incredibly anxious as they're eyes locked on the chest, watching as the snitch was released, spinning once before darting off onto the pitch, followed by two black bludgers, then the large red quaffle.

 _"_ _The Quaffle is released and the match begins!"_ Emmeline narrated loudly, and the pitch silenced immediately.

The Quaffle was only in the air for seconds before a flash of scarlet secured it under their arm. I let out the breath I was holding onto.

 _"_ _Saggle of Gryffindor is control of the Quaffle, flying towards the goal posts at an alarming rate, he shoots and knocked away by an expert move of Travers."_

I hadn't taken my eyes off of the pitch, and had to stop myself from groaning when the Saggle missed the shot. He was a good chaser, but Travers was also a good keeper.

 _"_ _And Slytherin is in possession of the quaffle, Herrow passes it to Lestrange and is heading towards the goal posts, and…. Its blocked by a tricky maneuver from Gryffindor keeper Hestia Jones! Tough luck Slytherin!"_

I didn't think I imagined the slight pleasure in Emmeline's voice as she watch Hestia dart ten feet to the left in order to kick the quaffle straight into Henry Wheaton's waiting hands. She really was fast. She flashed her best friend a quick smile over at the teachers stand and cheered as Henry raced towards the Slytherins goal post.

 _"_ _Wheaton has the quaffle and oh.. he drops it! Caught by James Potter who's now speeding to the goal post… and score! Ten points to Gryffindor!"_  
The crowd of Gryffindors cheered loudly. I jumped to my feet to how as loud as I could with Mary, while Marlene and Lily looked on like we were bloody mad.

Peter screamed for James and even Remus was on his feet cheering for his mate. Sirius looked proud too. He never took his eyes off of James when he could. He had barely looked at his brother even once since the match had started.

 _"_ _Now Slytherin is in control of the quaffle, Dolohov feints to the left and passes to Lestrange who shoots… and… yes scores! Ten points to Slytherin."_

Hestia had dived to far up and Rabastan's throw made it straight through the right hoop. All of Slytherin started screaming from pride. I could feel the back of my neck start to prickle and had to actively remind myself that a tie this early in the match meant nothing.

 _"_ _Slytherin in possession of the quaffle again, Herrow sends to Dolohov who heads to score- and no is stopped by a bludger sent by Gryffindor Beater Sirius Black!"_

The Gryffindors screamed again, and Sirius tossed his bat into the air smiling at the crowd, cockily.

"Yes Sirius!" I cheered. "Atta Boy, Black!" Frank roared, "Hit em with another!"

Peter was screaming Sirius' name so loudly, he couldn't speak anymore. Amy Bentworth, who was seated at the very front of the stands, showed just how obsessed with Sirius she was by flashing him a sighting of the poster she had made. A decorated sheet with a hand drawing of only him.

Mary and Lily chuckled, watching us with an enormous amount of amusement. If I wasn't so focused on the game, I probably would have laughed too. I was too busy clinging to my hands as I watched, knowing I looked as ridiculous as the other avid fans.

 _"…_ _and score by Herrow! Ten points to Slytherin!"_ I bit my lip nervously.

 _"_ _Gryffindor in possession of the quaffle again, Potter moves to score and…. Is hit with a bludger from Elijah Wilkes!"_

Gryffindor groaned collectively.

 _"…_ _Slytherin beater hit with a bludger from Gryffindor beater Fabian Prewett seconds later!"_

"Go Fabian!" Gideon roared happily from behind me.

 _"_ _Looks like there's no sign of the snitch yet, McKinnon and Black are circling the pitch, and Gryffindor in possession of the quaffle again Potter passes to Wheaton and is intercepted by Lestrange and…blocked by Hestia Jones! Slytherin in possession of the quaffle again, Lestrange heading straight for the right goal hoop, ready to shoot but Jones is ready and…oh! Lestrange passes to the left and Dolohov scores!"_

I hated that Rabastan was clever enough to be a good chaser. Part of me always hoped he would be a rubbish Quidditch player. That way every time I saw him on the pitch I could at least be confident _I_ could out fly him, but he was good. Cunning enough to make feinting work.

 _"…_ _..Gryffindor is in possession of the quaffle. Wheaton passes to Saggle then to Potter and Gryffindor scores!"_

 _"_ _Herrow has the quaffle and is heading towards the post when oh no! Herrow is hit with a bludger from Fabian Prewett, and another!... From Sirius Black! He drops the Quaffle and Gryffindor is in possession again. Saggle heads towards the goal post, and is hit by a bludger from Carrow!"_

The next forty minutes were some of the most anxious I had ever seen on the pitch. The teams were unfortunately well-matched and every time one team scored, the opposite followed suit. I could see the stress and anxiety forming on our player's features particularly on Landon McKinnon's as he painstakingly searched for the snitch alongside Regulus Black. It had already been an hour and a half with no sight of it.

The score was at seventy- eighty in favor of Gryffindor, thanks mostly to James Potter. No matter how Lily felt about him, she couldn't deny the boy was extremely talented on a broom. Problem was, everyone on the pitch was fighting dirty now. Bludgers were being sent every five seconds. I had actually watched in horror as Sirius had to jump off his broom into the air to avoid being hit in the head by one from Antonin Dolohov that had a tricky spin on it. In true Sirius fashion, he responded by _accidently_ cucking his bat at Dolohov's head.

The chasers on both teams were resorting to feinting and tactics every time they touched the quaffle. It didn't matter how good either one was, the keeper's were too skilled to let anything past them. Hestia was dripping with sweat despite the brisk in the air, moving past all three posts at a lighting speed. I worried she was going to drop off her broom. Emmeline too, looked worried and exhausted, doing her best to narrate every tiny detail over the screams and shouts of both team's fans. Gideon, Otto and I had almost lost our voices from all of our screaming. Even Mary, who rarely got loud at the games was on her feet screaming for fouls when Elijah Wilkes used his beater's bat to knock Landon McKinnon off his broom. Luckily, he had kept one hand on the handle and was able to swing back up, but that didn't stop Marlene and Carmichael from shouting every obscenity they could at the Slytherins beater. McKinnon sibling loyalty ran deep.

"This game is going on forever," Remus sighed sadly, looking down at a

 _"…_ _.. looks like Lestrange has the quaffle and yes he passes to Herrow, but Hestia looks ready.. wait, Herrow passes to Dolohov who passes back to Lestrange…who scores! Ten points to Slytherin!"_

"Son of a Slytherin!" I hissed loudly, watching the smirks forming on Lestrange and Herrow's arrogant faces.

Marlene beamed. "I love it when Meadowes swears," she said to Lily, delighted.

I could barely hear what she was saying, focused too deeply on the match. Slytherin had just managed to score _again._

Otto Bagman was losing it behind me. "Murder me, if Slytherin wins. I don't think I can take all the gloating."

"Nothings said and done until they catch the snitch," Lily reminded him. "That's what wins isn't it?"

Everyone within ear shot of her stared at her with disbelief. Lily had barely even paid attention during most of the matches at Hogwarts, and here she was delivering a perfectly reasonable and astute observation about the match.

"Look at you!" I told her happily, "I'm so proud."

"I was paying a little attention this time, " Lily said happily, turning forward to watch the game. "Hestia is quite a good keeper isn't she?" she asked as Hestia spun downward to kick the quaffle away from the posts. She shot it straight into Rabastan's face, something that made me like her even more.

"GO HESTIA!" Nora screamed, proudly cheering on her dorm mate.

"Jones is a complete Bad-ass!" Marlene shouted proudly, watching Hestia fly back to the posts with a wide smile. She wasn't letting anything get passed her, and from the looks on the Slytherins faces they knew that.

 _"_ _Slytherin in possession of the quaffle again, Lestrange zooming back towards the Gryffindor goal posts and wait... the Slytherin beaters are coming up quite close behind them and…"_

Emmeline stopped speaking, her mouth ajar as she stared at the Slytherin beaters who were right in front of Herrow now, struggling with something under there robes.

"What in Godric's name are they doing?" Gideon asked, not taking his eyes off the beaters.

A second later, Elijah Wilkes shot a bludger straight at Hestia's nose, smacking it into her with full force. Even from the stands I could see the blood pouring from her nose and onto her robes as her hand flew to her nose muffling her scream.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Krysten shouted jumping to her feet, as Sturgis swore. On the pitch, everyone of the Gryffindor player's heads had turned in the direction of Hestia's scream, dropping what they were doing.

In seconds, the other beater Amycus Carrow sent another bludger straight at Hestia's broom handle, cracking it half and knocking her into a downward spiral. In just enough time for Rabastan to score.

 _"_ _FOUL!"_ Emmeline shouted so loudly it sounded like a scream through the microphone, _"FOUL! FOUL! A dirty trick from the Slytherin beaters injuries the Gryffindor Keeper... Bloody Hell! Timeout! Someone catch her!"_

Emmeline was practically screaming now was Hestia's broom continued to crash down to the ground. Fabian and James were on her trail and managed to catch her under the arms before she hit the ground.

Madam Hellsworth blew on her whistle and every one of the players dropped down to the ground for the timeout. Landon McKinnon was supporting Hestia's shoulders as she held her hands over her nose, stopping the blood. James and Sirius stood beside Fabian looking murderous as Eris and Henry screamed at the Slytherin beaters.

"What a dirty, smarmy trick," Frank spat beside me.

"They'll get a foul," Otto said.

My upper lip curled over my teeth as Madam Hellsworth handed Hestia a towel to wipe the blood from her face. "They deserve it."

Landon, Silas and Madam Hellsworth all looked tense as they discussed something quickly and then Landon held up Hestia's broom. From what I could see, the entire handle was cracked through. Something Hestia was fuming about. Madam Hellsworth took it from him and handed Hestia one of the school brooms. Hestia took it from her and dropped the towel. Her nose was purple and crooked, covered in dried blood, but that didn't stop her from flashing the Slytherin chasers the dirtiest look she could muster as she mounted the broom and rose into the air. She was going to keep playing, injury be damned. It was _so_ Hestia.

All of Gryffindor rose to their feet and started screaming and clapping as Hestia rose into the air again.

"GO HESTIA! GO HESTIA! GO HESTIA!"

Soon joined by Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and even the teachers. Her fellow players howled in delight and Hestia even gave a dramatic bow.

Landon beamed so hard I thought he was going to kiss her. He was proud.

Emmeline flashed a wide smile as Madam Hellsworth raised a flag and the other players rose into the air again.

 _"_ _It looks like despite being the recipient of a nasty injury from a dirty trick. Talented and Bad ass Gryffindor Keeper Hestia Jones is going to keep playing!"_ Emmeline shouted proudly, ignoring the looks from her fellow Slytherins.

"Language Ms. Vance!" McGonagall chided from beside her, although she barely hid her pride at Hestia as she did.

Madam Hellsworth gave the Gryffindor team a free shot at the Slytherin goal posts to restart the game, and James knocked it into the posts so easily it looked like he was doing it in his sleep.

The moment the game restarted, Sirius and Fabian were so on top of the bludgers, every time a Slytherin player even touched the quaffle it was knocked out of their hands by a fast, dangerous bludger, and if it wasn't Hestia made sure it never came anywhere near the goal posts. The Gryffindor team seemed hell bent on making them pay for what they had done. Slytherin didn't score another point for twenty minutes. Meanwhile Landon seemed to make it a mission to find the snitch, both he and Regulus were speeding through the pitch scanning for any sight of it.

The Gryffindor chasers were working overtime having scored fifty points in ten minutes, making the score 120-80 in favor of Gryffindor.

 _"…_ _. Gryffindor in possession of the quaffle again! Chaser James Potter shoots and.. scores tent points to Gryffindor.. and wait, oh… um.."_

Emmeline stopped immediately, and everyone in the Gryffindor stands went silent, instantly silenced by the screams of delight as Regulus Black rose into the air, a tiny gold ball clutched in his hands.

He had caught the snitch. I felt all the breath leave my body as everyone around me let out a defeated sigh.

Emmeline sighed. _"Seeker Regulus Black has caught the snitch. 150 points awarded. Slytherin wins."_

All of Slytherin erupted into loud screams and cheers as the players flew around the pitch confidently. Even from here I could see Landon's face twisting into horror and Hestia's eyes widen.

We had lost. Again. My mouth turned downward preparing myself for the post-match- depression we would all surely be feeling.

Gideon let out a lofty sigh behind me, while Otto swore something that made Lily's cheeks blush. Even Remus, who had proven again and again how disinterested in Quidditch he was, looked a little saddened.

"So I guess there won't be a party in the common room now, huh?" Krysten said sadly.

Otto flashed her a look that suggested it was taking all of his strength not to rip her head clean off her shoulders, or at the very least hex her.

Marlene stood up slowly and shook her head. "Personally? I think we better all hope Landon doesn't set the Common Room on fire."

Mary let out the most defeated sigh I ever heard her make, and the rest of us followed her as she slowly trudged out of the stands and back towards the castle, a collective depression hanging over us as we did.


	9. 9 The Loneliest Season of All

**Authors Note: Okay, so some of you have pointed out that this version of Lily is a bit snarkier than you're used too, and I completely understand that. Lily is a fantastic character, but I think at fifteen she still has a little maturing to do before she grows into the kind, selfless empathetic character were used too. Basically, hang in there. She will face some things soon in the story that will transform her into the kind of Lily you're used too seeing. Thanks and please review if your enjoying or if you're absolutely hating. Welcomed either way.**

9

The Loneliest Season of All

The weeks following Gryffindor's close loss to Slytherin were some of the tensest I had ever seen at Hogwarts. All of Gryffindor, most of Hufflepuff and several Ravenclaws were still so furious over Slytherins dirty tricks on Hestia during the match, that no one much felt like celebrating Slytherins win, even if Regulus had caught the snitch honestly.

The Gryffindor team in particular was in a terrible mood for weeks. Landon McKinnon had spent three hours in the prefect's bathroom following the game and hadn't come back to the common room until bed time. Only Mary had managed to get anything out of him when he reappeared. He was polite to her, but when straight to the dormitory at the first opportunity. Marlene told us to except him to be in a mood for a while.

Fabian and Eris spent the entire afternoon complaining about the Slytherins for everyone to hear. A conversation that all of the house joined in joyfully, myself included. We spent hours going over the techniques and tactics the other teams had used and when we bored of that we trashed the Slytherin players we hated. The Marauders were also missing for most of the afternoon, and returned a few hours later with Hestia's broom, mended perfectly. Something that made Hestia look as close to tears as I had ever seen her.

"That's pretty kind of them, huh?" Marlene said when she watched James hand her the new broom.

I nodded, "Very nice. There dedicated to their teammates."

Lily who was watching the entire scene with a mask of no emotion didn't move her eyes when she spoke. She was staring too intently at James hugging Hestia.

"It is nice actually," she said blankly, dotting the I's on her potions essay carefully, "broom work is very difficult to do. It was nice of them to do that for her."

"I'm sorry?" Marlene stared at Lily in absolute disbelief, her mouth hanging open. "Did I just hear Lily _Evans_ , complimenting James Potter and the rest of the Marauders on their _kindness_?"

A little color flushed across Lily's cheeks, and she nervously tucked a strand of her vibrant hair behind her ear. "I mean, I'm not a shrew," Lily said nervously, avoiding our eyes, "I can recognize when they do something kind for someone. _That_ was kind."

I beamed at my best friend and the progress she was making. "Wow, Lils. I'm impressed."

"I never thought I'd see the day," Marlene said shaking her head, still floored.

Lily didn't say anything and just shrugged, before disappearing off to the library to finish the potions essay with Remus. Usually nothing could clear Lily out of a room faster than discussing James' good qualities. But today it seemed different. She had recognized something nice they had done. It was shocking, but a little uplifting. I wondered if this meant Lily would lighten up around them. She never favored James or his lackies, but it seemed like this year she had been particularly rough on them. It wasn't like her.

Most of us wanted to forget about the loss to Slytherin, but one person who didn't seem to want to forget at all was Hestia herself.

She had neglected to let Madam Pompfrey heal her nose with a spell, so after it was properly set, it bruised purple and yellow for weeks. Hestia boasted that it was a trophy, proof that no "evil-serpent-crested gits" could get the better of her. Emmeline didn't seem to have the same view. She was so furious with the tricks that her housemates had played on her best friend, she sat at the Gryffindor table beside her every meal for the last few weeks. Something that delighted the Gryffindor boys and made Marlene start wearing shorter skirts.

The Ravenclaw V. Hufflepuff match was only two weeks later, and Ravenclaw annihilated Hufflepuff 350- 70. As most of the Gryffindors supported Hufflepuff, it was another devastating loss.

I did my best to focus on classes as November disappeared. Apart from one of my tutoring sessions with Sirius, where we did nothing but analyze the match, in excruciating detail, I tried to stay focused on homework. The closer the holiday's got, the more I thought about the anniversary of my parent's death. December 11th was a dark cloud I could hardly avoid anymore. The day was always terrible, and seemed to follow me everywhere. The only decent distraction I had now that Quidditch had come and gone, was my classes. It was O.W.L year so it wasn't hard to completely bury myself in work. There was always an essay to be written or books to be read and studied. Lily was thrilled with my new determination and spent as many hours with me as I wanted in the library. Sometimes Remus would join us, and stay when Lily ditched me to sit with Severus. I liked when Remus joined. He was quiet and thoughtful, with a streak of politeness I never seemed to get when Sirius was around.

I had myself so absorbed in work lately, Sirius would complain during every one of our tutoring sessions throwing around words like 'boring' and threatening to drag me to the Forbidden Forest again for a bit of excitement.

I warned him if he did, I'd find the centaurs myself and make them aim their arrows below the waist this time. That shut him up for about twenty minutes, before he started bugging me again.

But that didn't matter much, the teachers seemed to share my mindset about how to spend our time, keeping all of us constantly busy. Professor McGonagall and Flitwick were both teaching us two spells a class, and Professor Marchbanks hadn't given us a practical since before Halloween. Even Slughorn was giving us potions that required our full attention all period. Half the year was already fed up, and the exams were still months away.

"When do you think all of this work is going to stop?" Mary asked during the first week of December as she, Lily and I made our way to our morning Transfiguration class. Marlene was off in a broom closest with Baxter Thornbottle, and so they three of us had had breakfast alone.

"I'd guess when the exams are over," I said nibbling on a piece of toast I had smuggled from the Great Hall. I had another wrapped in a napkin, hidden in my robe pocket for Marlene. I knew she was cranky when she didn't eat, and doubted even the memory of Baxter Thorn bottle's excellent snogging would keep her getting testy when her stomach started growling during Transfiguration.

"That isn't for like another six months though. I hope they lighten up for the Holidays," Mary said quickly, as we climbed the stairs two at a time. "I would hate to spend Christmas studying the uses of boom slang skin."

Lily shuddered. "Me too. That stuff smells foul. You know I still haven't gotten it out my sweater since Severus knocked it over on me?"

"Seems like an okay trade considering you won a bottle of Veritaserum from Slughorn," I reminded her. "Is it difficult being the best potions master in the school?" I teased.

Lily tucked her hair behind her ear, grinning as she walked. "That was a fun day. You and Mary's potion very nearly beat us, remember? I wish I still had it though. I used it on James when I wanted to know where he hid my favorite pair of socks. I still don't know how he got a hold of those. _Not that I want to know_ ….." She shuddered knowing that they were probably hidden under James pillow. What he wanted with a pair of Lily's old socks we would never know. I grinned thinking of James stroking them alone in his dormitory. The visual was too funny.

"Did he ever tell you where they were?" I asked as we made our way through the corridor.

Lily shook her head, looking annoyed at the memory. "No. Of course he told Sirius to hide them, thinking ahead of me. I hate it when he's clever, it makes it much harder to hate him. Anyway, I never did get them back. Such a waste of veritaserum. Sev was so angry when he found out what I did with it."

I was sure he did. Knowing Severus, he probably would want to use it for something much darker or sinister. Like locking the Marauders in a dungeon and forcing it down each of their throats. I bit my tongue to keep from sharing that information with my friend.

Half the class was already waiting in the transfiguration classroom when we entered, and all of them looked like they had been laughing about something for the last ten minutes, with wide smiles plastered across their faces. The Marauders were sitting in their usual tables looking more entertained than usual. Only Professor McGonagall looked a little cross. She stood in front of her desk with her tiny arms crossed in frustration, a stern look wedged in between her protruding cheekbones.

Kyla Davies and Imogen Warbeck were both giggling from their seat. I felt my dislike for Imogen rear its head for a second, before I could squash it. I didn't know why I was annoyed with her, or why the feeling was so strong. I was probably going crazy or something. Imogen was perfectly nice. All I really knew about her was that her aunt was a famous singer, and she had gone to Hogsmeade with Sirius. Why should either of those two things bother me? I shook it off.

Xenophillius was staring at our chairs with a dreamy expression, which wasn't odd for him. He always did strange things, but Barty Crouch Jr, seemed to be doing it too, and he was one of the stickler Ravenclaws.

"What did we miss?" I mused, looking around at our classmates with a mixture of concern and excitement. Something was definitely going on here, and I hated to be out of the loop.

"Dunno, but their smiles are making me a tad nervous," Lily said nodding in the direction of the Marauders. James and Sirius were watching the three of us with lazy grins. Remus shot us a sympathetic grin from his table with Peter. Peter was so red-faced, he had both hands covering his mouth to keep from laughing.

"Whatever it is, it can't be good," Mary warned as we placed our books down at our usual tables and sat down.

 _"_ _AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

The moment I had sat down something had let out a loud, high-pitched scream through the classroom, making me jump out of the chair. The screaming continued for a moment, muffled slightly by the laughter of everyone else in the room.

What the hell? I thought as I jumped to my feet in just enough time to see the chairs Lily and I were sitting on had formed a face, with a wide mouth.

The _chairs_ had screamed. How clever. I rolled my eyes. Chairs that screamed when you sat in them? This had the Marauders written all over them. I turned to their table to see both James and Sirius doubled over in laughter. Peter was snorting. Remus just stared forward at McGonagall, looking slightly guilty. The chairs stopped screaming when we stayed standing.

"Screaming chairs," I said shaking my head with disbelief.

Lily sighed. "This is _so_ immature," she huffed. Then she cast a glow on the chairs that looked almost like admiration, "Damn clever, though," she added.  
"While I agree with that assessment, Ms. Evans," Professor McGonagall said coolly, "Would you and Ms. Meadowes please take your seats? I have heard this moronic screaming all morning and would prefer to get it all out of the way if you don't mind. They will stop screaming after a moment."

Mary had stayed seated in hers and the screaming had died down after a few seconds. I placed my hands over my ears and took my seat, ignoring the guttural scream my chair made when I did. Lily followed suit, and I noticed her chair had an even higher scream than mine did.

"This has _them_ written all over it," Lily said looking directly at James and Sirius.

"Clever and immature?" I asked her with a smile. "Of course, it does."

Professor McGonagall looked interested at Lily's words, like they were the most profound thing she had heard all morning. "While I tend to agree, a full inquiry will be placed after we have figured out the counter spell to the charm that was placed on the chairs."

Her gaze fell on the Marauders, who looked very confident the counter charm would take a while to figure out.

"The guilty parties will be punished," she told them sternly. "A week's worth of detention for the class distraction and general annoyance this has called."

I had to hide the smile that was threatening to creep back onto my face. Professor McGonagall wasn't even trying to disguise the fact that she thought the Marauders were involved. Usually she at least _tried_ to be impartial.

James smiled back at Professor McGonagall. "How do you know it was us, Professor? That seems like a lofty assumption to make."

"And you know what they say about assuming," Sirius added quickly, his face lighting up, "There's quite a clever little limerick about it. I could tell it to you some time. I think it involves you, me and a donkey."

My mouth fell open in disbelief. Could Sirius really be that cheeky? I already knew the answer to that. It was a wonder he hadn't been expelled yet.

"Could he be more ballsy?" Mary asked leaning forward to Lily and I, She shook her dark her in absolute disbelief, but entertained nonetheless.

I shook my head. "Doubt it. Someday she's going to snap and turn him into a dung beetle, and Merlin I hope I'm around when it happens."

Professor McGonagall very nearly rolled her eyes at Sirius. "In five years of educating you, I've learned whenever something happens, it's _always_ you four."

"Usually," Sirius corrected her. "Not, _always._ "

James looked delighted. "He does have a point there, Professor," he said running his hand through his messy hair.

Remus dropped his head on his arms like he wanted to be anywhere other than where he was. If he was involved, he clearly had been coerced into it. Peter was still giggling.

The doors to the Transfiguration classroom opened again and Marlene trotted in, yanking her robes back onto her shoulders. She was a little frazzled but was glowing. She had clearly had a good time.

"You're late, Ms. McKinnon," Professor McGonagall chided as she headed for her chair beside Mary.

Marlene blushed a little. "Sorry Professor McGonagall," she mused quickly, throwing her a classic Marlene smile, "but I was saving a bunch of puppies and kittens."

She couldn't have known, but on the foothills of James and Sirius' cheek, Professor McGonagall was not in the mood for Marlene's cleverness.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Ms. McKinnon," Professor McGonagall snapped, turning back on her heels towards her desk.

"For being late?" Marlene demanded. She wasn't being rude but it was clear she had no idea what was going on.

"No, Ms. McKinnon, For your sass. If you'd like me to take another ten points for your tardiness, I would have no problem obliging. If not, take your seat."

She was clearly taking out her frustration with the Marauders on Marlene. Marlene flashed me an arched eyebrow and I shook my head. I'd tell her all about it when we were out of here. No sense in further enraging McGonagall.

Marlene did everything but stomp her way to her chair, dropping her bag beside and it and taking a seat. Everyone in the vicinity covered their ears and Marlene stared at them bewildered.

 _"_ _AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

Marlene stayed seated while her chair screamed, but she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "So that's what I missed," she said quietly, looking relieved that McGonagall's mood clearly had nothing to do with her. From across the room, James winked at her.

"Now that everyone has been seated," Professor McGonagall started sternly, "today we will be working on transfiguring items into birds, and then we will work on vanishing them."

She flicked her wand lazily and a basket of small objects began floating down the aisles between our desks, as we picked out tiny statues and sewing kits out to practice on. Professor McGonagall turned back to the board and began writing out notes for us to copy down. I leaned back and handed the wrapped piece of toast to Marlene.

"Bless your soul, Meadowes," Marlene moaned as she took it from me gratefully and shoved a heaping bite into her mouth. "I don't deserve you."

"No problem. How is Baxter Thornbottle?" I asked cheekily as she chewed. She fluttered her eyelashes suggestively at me.

"Almost as delicious as this toast you brought me."

Mary watched Marlene with complete admiration. "I want to be you when I grow up, you know that?" she told her. Marlene wrapped an arm around her and smiled.

We spent most of the period struggling to make the objects in front of us try to turn into birds. Lily actually managed to make her tiny jewelry box turn into a small hummingbird, right after Barty Crouch Jr's parrot appeared and earned back the ten points Marlene had lost that morning, and when James turned both his and Sirius' pocket watches into a pair of beautiful white doves, we earned another ten points.

I tried the spell twice before the goblet in front of me turned into a small brown bird. Pleased, I stroked his tiny wings and tried the vanishing spell. The bird only blinked back at me very much still present.

"Well," I said softly watching him peck at my textbook. "I can't get rid of this little guy."

Lily pat the little bird in front of me. "He's too cute to vanish," she cooed softly. "Any chance you think McGonagall will let us keep him in the dormitory as a pet?"

I shook my head. "Doubt it, and anyway Rylie's cat would probably feast on it if we left him in there."

Lily frowned as I vanished the bird with one swish of my wand.

"This too much," Mary said after she made her bird vanish. "turning things into birds and vanishing them should be two different lessons. People really weren't kidding about all the work in fifth year."

"Tell me about it, when Baxter and I were walking back from the broom closets, I saw Della Templeton trying to diffuse a full-on breakdown Pandora Rabnott was having over a failed Potions exam," Marlene said, leaning forward to join the conversation.

"Although that might just be because she made up all the ingredients on the exam," Mary reminded her. "Do you not remember all the things she claims to have seen on Holidays?"

"Very true," Marlene pointed out, stroking the exotic colored parrot now happily resting on her shoulder. "though I sort of want to believe her every time she tells me that all of Goblin Gang's hit songs were written by muggles. How funny would that be?"

"That sounds like a day-time movie waiting to happen," Lily chuckled shaking her head.

Marlene stared back at her in utter confusion. "What in Godric's name is a _moo-vy?"_

I covered my mouth to muffle the snort that had escaped my mouth. I had learned all about movies, and muggle televisions from my dad, and after several summers in the orphanage, I was a pro. I had forgotten that Marlene still had no idea about some of these things.

"Do you just not pay attention at all in Muggle Studies?" Mary asked her, shaking her head.

"To be fair," Marlene started, "Muggles have a lot of inventions okay? It's hard to keep it all straight. I have enough trouble remembering the magical things I need to know without worrying about what the proper use of a toaster is."

Mary blinked at her, "And? Do you know what the proper use of a toaster is?"

"From the look your giving me I'm going to assume its not for warming your wand, then?"

Lily, Mary and I laughed so hard, Professor McGonagall's eyes shot over to us immediately and we did our best to quiet ourselves down before she lectured us.

Lily shook her head at Marlene comfortingly. "Not it's not, Marls. It's for cooking bread. Muggles don't have wands remember?"

"Oh yeah," Marlene said tossing her legs up on the chair beside her. "I keep forgetting that. Must be hell on earth for you three in the summer, huh? I would be whipping my wand out every five minutes forgetting."

"Dumbledore gave me a good, firm talk on the importance of keeping my secret before he dropped me off at my new home," I told her, "so I'm careful about leaving everything locked away in my trunk.

Mary nodded. "Me too. You know how my parents are about magic. They hate when I talk about it very much, so I mainly keep it my trunk, as to not annoy them." Her eyes darkened a little before she moved on.

Ever since Mary, and later her sister Julie, had arrived at Hogwarts, her parents had been very wary of magic. Both of them were school teachers in Ireland, and didn't have a single other magical family member. When Dumbledore had shown up to explain Hogwarts to them, they had very nearly not let Mary go. Ever since, Mary and Julie avoided talking about school as much as possible.

"They'll lighten up eventually, Mary," I told her, "You just have to give it time. Once they see that you can have a career and full life in the wizarding world they'll be okay. It's got to be strange adjusting is all."

"I keep telling myself that, but I don't know. I've already been here for _five_ years and they still shudder every time I bring up anything that even has to do with magic. I don't get it, having a witch in the family is something they should be _proud_ of."

"Of course it is," Lily told her softly.

"Are they really that bad?" Marlene asked. "They seemed okay at Diagon Alley last summer. Maybe a little nervous, but not miserable."

Mary shrugged. "Well yeah, when they have to, they lighten up, but that was only because Julie and I had to get supplies for school. Usually they do everything they can to avoid the subject of Hogwarts," she scowled, "You should see the look on their faces when Julie brings up Death Eaters and _Him_." A violent shiver ran down her spine and she wrapped her arms comfortingly around herself.

"You told them about You- Know-Who? Lily asked of her, her eyes wide.

As a fellow muggleborns, Lily knew how dangerous it was to talk about blood purity in front of her parents. Muggle parents didn't know very much about the wizarding world, and as such didn't have as much confidence in wizard's like Dumbledore to keep the peace.

"Are you mad?" Marlene asked shaking her head. "I don't even talk about Him in front of my parents."

" _I_ didn't," Mary said quickly, "You think I'm that barmy? Tom at the Leaky Cauldron did, and then they saw a copy of the prophet Julie left out talking about muggleborns attacks. I had to cancel our subscription after that, before they overreact."

"They must have been worried," I said softly. "It doesn't excuse it," I added quickly seeing Mary's raised eyebrow, "but imagine how scary _He_ must sound to people who don't understand the scope of what he can do. He's scary even to Purebloods."

Mary sighed. "Yeah, I suppose that's true. Still I wish they wouldn't be so ridiculous about it. It would be nice to be able to leave out a textbook or a sneakoscope without getting a lecture about how I'm derailing my future with a magical education."

Lily reached out to pull Mary into a quick hug. "I completely understand where you're coming from, Mare. Mum and Dad are supportive, but Petunia is a nightmare when I talk about school or magic. And you have Julie, that's good, isn't it? If I had a sickle for every time Tuney had called me a freak, I'd be able to buy the Gryffindor team new brooms."

"But Petunia's clearly just jealous, Lily," I told her. "You're not a freak." Lily gave me a soft smile.

"Yeah," Mary dropped her voice so it was barely below a whisper. "Didn't you say she wrote Dumbledore asking if she could come too? Doesn't sound like she thinks it's a freak school, after all."

Marlene actually snorted, as she vanished her parrot. "Ha! Imagine Petunia being here. Even if she wasn't a muggle, she'd be more out of place here then Xeno Lovegood."

"Like living in a dorm with Moaning Myrtle," Mary agreed.

Lily sighed. "That was a lifetime ago. If anything, I think not being able to go made her hate this place and me even more." She said this sadly, as if she actually missed who Petunia had been before. On the rare occasions, I had interacted with Petunia, I found her to be cold, cruel and nosy, but if Lily knew another side of her, I hoped she'd be able to find it again.

"We could always leave a couple of spell books on her bookshelf next summer," I suggested hopefully, "Imagine the reaction she'll have when she finds them? It'll be better than that time James had a month-long detention."

Lily cracked a smile. "Sounds like a plan," she turned to Marlene and Mary. "Want in on this?"

"Bothering Petunia?" Marlene asked giddily, "Of course. I've wanted revenge ever since she called me a mouthy, silver-spoon fed, leggy-slag."

Mary was weighing her hand back and forth in her hand. "To be fair Marlene, you are a spoon-fed, leggy, slag."

"Doesn't mean it need to hear it from _her._ "

I patted Marlene on the shoulder, "At least she thinks your leggy."

Marlene laughed. "There's the silver lining. Excellent observation, Doe."

The period was almost over and Professor McGonagall had rounded around the classroom, gathering up everyone's un-transformed trinkets and vanishing whichever birds had been left from the students who hadn't mastered the spell yet, something Lily had looked very wistful about. If it were up to her, she would have turned our dormitory into a bird sanctuary.

When McGonagall finished, she stood at the front of the room and took out a large piece of parchment from her robes pockets. I didn't even have to read it to know what _that_ piece of parchment was. I was wondering when it would come out. I had been anxiously awaiting it's arrival.

"Now before you all scurry out of here," she said carefully, "I'll need anyone who plans to stay at the Castle for the holidays to sign their name on this parchment." She passed it down the row to the Ravenclaws, most of whom just passed it back to their seat mates. Each of them content to go home to their families over the holidays. It was pretty even split, about a 1/3 of the Ravenclaws scribbled their names onto the paper, as did Caradoc Dearborn, and Rylie Fawcett. When the paper stopped over in front of me, I scribbled my name down as quickly as I could in neat, even writing. I loved staying at Hogwarts for the holidays. For me, it was a salvation. Holidays were hard enough without my parents. I couldn't bear to think about how miserable I would be if I had to spend them at the orphanage.

I could feel the eyes of my best friends on me as they watched me sign my name on the parchment, and I knew the annual pity party was about to commence. Every time we talked about holiday plans, the three of them bent over backwards to make sure I was never left alone. The year after my parents died, Lily had brought me home to her house for Christmas. Her family had been warm and welcoming, but I couldn't help but feel like I had been imposing on their family time. After that I always stayed at the castle, and one of my friends always volunteered to stay with me, no matter how much I assure them they didn't have too. Last year, it was Marlene. Her parents had gone on holiday anyway, so she and some of other McKinnon siblings were staying anyway. The five of us had had a lovely Christmas morning on the Common Room floor.

I noticed from the expressions on Marlene's face now, that she wasn't planning on staying this year. She passed over the parchment the second it got to her.

"Alright," Lily said firmly. "Which one of us is staying with Doe this year?" she asked taking

the parchment from Marlene's hands.

"Carmichael told me we're going to Gran's house in the Isles this year," Marlene said as she slid the form back to Lily. "You're welcome to come, Doe! You know Mum has always liked you, but I don't have a choice in going or staying."

I shook my head. "You guys know I really don't mind being alone."

"You can't stay alone during the holidays," Lily insisted. "I have to go home this year because Mum and Dad invited, Dad's parent's but you're always welcome there, as you well know. What about you Mary?"

Mary took the parchment from Lily and scribbled her name right below mine, flashing me a wide smile. "I'd much rather hang out here with you, then go home and pretend to our cousins that Julie and I go to some boarding school in Scotland."

I felt a tiny bit of relief as I looked at Mary's name on the parchment. As much as I could have handled being alone, I was glad I didn't have to worry about it, and that I'd have Mary with me. Holidays were better with friends around.

"Good," Lily said passing the form back in the direction of the Marauders. "Glad that's settled."

The class ended promptly after and the four of us aid our goodbyes while Mary and Lily headed off to Ancient Runes, and Marlene skipped off to Muggle Studies, ready to impress her entire class with her new knowledge of exactly what a toaster did. I walked slowly to Care of Magical Creatures, keeping my robes and scarf wrapped tightly around me as I walked. It was frigid outside. I wouldn't be surprised if it started snowing soon. As I walked, I excitedly noticed Hagrid starting to hang Garland on the outside of the castle. He and Filch always made sure the entire castle looked gorgeous all of December.

"That looks great Hagrid!" I called as I passed, watching him hang a string of Garland the size of an adult dragon.

"Thank yer, Doe. Off to Care of Magical Creatures, are ya?" Hagrid asked, slinging it over his shoulder.

A cold brisk wind slapped me in the face and made me hug my robes to me tighter. I gave him a quick nod as I shivered.

Hagrid gave me a friendly smile. "I'd be careful if I were ya. Yer working on Millbeetles today and they bite something awful. Whatever you do, don't touch their backsides. They got stingers the size of butter knives under there." He made a face as he lifted the Garland again.

"I'll watch out for those," I told him chuckling even though the cold felt like razors on my skin. "I'll see you Hagrid!"

"See you soon, Doe!" Hagrid said giving me a hearty wave.

Today's Care of Magical Creature's lesson was in an empty classroom. Probably because it was too cold for anyone to focus on anything else. Neither Amelia or I minded. We weren't particularly fond of the cold, especially not this kind of frigid cold.

The lesson turned out to be an interesting one. Hagrid was right. The mill beetles looked harmless enough when we started the lesson, but by the end everyone had cuts ranging from tiny paper cuts to four inch wounds from their stingers. Reggie Cattermole had even managed to chop off a finger and had to bring it with him to the Hospital wing to have it reattached. Amelia spent most of the period talking about the holidays and how excited she was to go home even though everyone would probably fawn over Edgar. She seemed disappointed that I would be staying at the castle but told me she hoped I would have a good time. The rest of the day seemed to melt away. Charms was a busy lesson that had us taking notes for most of the time, and History of Magic was boring as ever. Professor Binns droned on for an hour and half about ogres and when I asked him I could go to the bathroom he called Ms. Marmalade. He never got anyone's names right.

By the end of the lesson I was itching to get out of there. I had a length potions essay that was due tomorrow and I put off until the last minute, and moon chart to finish for Astrology. I had to tutor Sirius this afternoon, and hoped he would focus enough on his own homework that I might be able to finish most of it before dinner, but knowing Sirius, I couldn't count on it. When History of magic was over, I said goodbye to my friends and gathered my books and headed for the library, mentally trying to remember all eight uses for rat spleens in health potions.

 _"_ _Doe! Wait up, Doe!"_ a soft voice called firmly from a little way behind me. I did a silent prayer it wasn't Rabastan before I turned around, knowing the voice sounded a little too reserved and not nearly arrogant enough to be him.

Remus Lupin came bounding towards me at a jog, with an armful of heavy leather-bound books pressed to his chest, while the bag on his shoulder looked full of even more. His shaggy, sandy-colored hair flopped against his forehead as he trotted towards me. There was always an air of softness and kindness that seemed to surround Remus. One that always made me wonder how he could spend _so_ much time with James and Sirius without driving himself mad.

I stopped and waited for him to catch up. "Hey, Remus," I smiled at him. "What's going on?"

Remus stopped and caught his breath. "Sirius asked me to come and find you," he panted, his hands on his knees. "He told me to tell you that something came up, and wanted to know if you wouldn't mind doing your tutoring session after dinner in the Common Room?"

On a normal day, I would probably be a little annoyed with Sirius for trying to rearrange our tutoring schedule to accommodate what was no doubt some sort of prank on Slytherin, but today I was so busy that I didn't mind much. And Remus looked far too overworked for me to send him back with a snarky response.

"That's fine with me," I told Remus honestly. "I'm sorry he made you run after me like some kind of Owl. You didn't have to do that."

Remus made a face, "Well actually I did. Peter offered to do it, but Sirius' original comment was a touch cheeky and I didn't trust Peter not to tell you exactly what he said with no polite editing."

I sighed. Of course, Sirius had something cheeky to say. He couldn't even make a schedule change without having a laugh of it. I shifted my potions book to my other arm.

"Do I get to know what he originally said?" I asked Remus, slightly curious.

Remus frowned, and his cheeks flooded with a scarlet blush. "It was a touch suggestive…" he looked like it actually pained him to say it. "I think he was joking, but it was something about making it up to you with…err… … a trip to the broom closet on the fourth floor…" Remus looked dejected, as he saw my face. "He said you'd be amused."

My jaw had hit the floor, amazed by just how brazen Sirius was, even by proxy. I closed my mouth and smiled at Remus. "I'm sure he did. His absurdity knows no bounds."

"Are you headed back to the Common Room?" Remus asked, "Mind if I walk with you?"

I shook my head. "Of course not."

We walked together down one of the staircases closest to the history of magic classroom, now that we were near a window. I noticed just how tired Remus looked. His skin was pale, unusually pale even for December, and large dark purple circles had formed underneath his eyes, like he hadn't slept in days.

I bit my lip trying to find a way to ask about him without coming off rude. "Has everything been okay with you Remus?" I asked hesitantly. "Sirius told me your mum was sick a few months ago, around Halloween."

I knew she had been sick last month too, because Remus had missed class again, but I didn't want to overload him. Especially if it wasn't something he wanted to talk about. I knew how hard it was to have people ask about your parents if it wasn't something you didn't want to talk about. If I got any sign of that from him, I planned on dropping the topic immediately.

To my surprise, Remus looked a little relieved. Only for a second and then he gave a grave nod. "Yeah," he said softly. "Her health hasn't been very good lately. I'm supposed to visit her tomorrow actually. She's in St. Mungo's."

My heart sank, hoping that it wasn't serious. "I'm so sorry, Remus. I hope she's alright."

Something flashed quickly across Remus' face. An emotion I couldn't quite register. Was it guilt? That seemed strange. Maybe I misread it.

"Me too," he said happily. "Thanks for being so concerned. It means a lot."

I shook my head. "No problem. If you ever need anything, let me know alright? I can take notes for you. Something tells me James and Sirius aren't the most reliable when it comes to writing down History of Magic dates."

Remus offered me a wide smile. "You know that doesn't happen to be one of their strong suits. I might take you up on it. Mafalda Hopkirk always gives me trouble when I ask her, and I don't want to keep bothering Lily all the time, even if she swears I'm not."

"Any time," I assured him as we made it to the portrait hole. The Fat Lady was already swinging closed after Alice crawled through. Remus darted forward to catch the corner of her frame and hold it open for me.

"Thanks," I told him. Remus waved me off.

The Fat Lady scowled. "You know? I really hate it when you all do that. You're supposed to give the password every time to enter. Not strut in like you ruddy own the place…"

"Sorry," Remus said to the Fat Lady and rolled his eyes the moment we had crawled the portrait hole.

The Common Room was crowded with Gryffindors, just like it always was after last lesson. The first years were sitting in front of the fire playing gob stones, while some of the older students looked on with a mild interest. Most of the fifth, sixth and seventh years were all stretched around two of the couches listening to Krysten tell what looked like a very animated story about meeting a vampire on her last Christmas holiday. Nora was sat between her and Fabian, leaning as close to the ginger boy as she could. Nora was pretty, with light brown hair and freckles across her nose. Fabian seemed pleased was interested. Otto had his arm around Hestia, who looked pretty despite the fading yellow bruising on her nose. Carmichael seemed to be watching the two of them, looking very irritated at Otto's arm. Only Landon McKinnon seemed to be not participating, sitting alone in an armchair in the corner annotating a very worn copy of Quidditch through the ages. The loss must have affected him worse than I had thought. Remus scanned the room once and sighed.

"I should go see and if I can find my dorm mates before we find the astronomy tower on fire," Remus said dryly. "Thanks for the talk, Doe."

"My pleasure," I told him, "Good luck reigning the rest of your foursome."

He gave me a fleeting look. "Godric knows I'll need it," he said and disappeared back out of the

Portrait hole.

I shifted my bag on my arm and noticed Mary sitting alone on one of the plush couches alone in one of the corners. She had a book open in her lap but she was staring at something ahead of her. She barely noticed me when I dropped down beside her.

"Oh, hey, Doe," she said softly. "I thought you had to tutoring with Sirius today?"

I curled up, wrapping my legs underneath me. "I did. But Princess Black rescheduled for after dinner," I said rolling my eyes. Mary chuckled, but she still kept staring ahead of her.

"Where's Marlene and Lily?" I asked her, wondering why she was here alone, and not sitting with the group of older students.

"They went to see if they could find the textbook Marlene left in Muggle Studies and I didn't feel like heading all the way back up to the sixth floor."

Still her eyes didn't falter from what she was staring at. I followed her gaze and noticed she was watching Landon. He was furiously circling something in the book, his eyebrows furrowed, looking frustrated. Mary sighed, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Can I tell you something Doe?" Mary asked desperately.

I shifted suddenly very curious. "Of course, you can, Mare. What's going on?"

"You have to swear you won't tell Marlene, ok? Not Lily either, but _especially_ not Marlene."

Mary suddenly looked very nervous, she was practically biting her bottom lip off.

"I promise I won't say anything," I assured her. "Did you use the last of her Witch Weekly Hair Shine potion or something? Because I doubt you could do or say anything Marlene couldn't know about."

Mary shook her head, letting her dark fringe hang into her eyes. I noticed she was wearing lipstick today. The color of it looked perfect on her creamy brown skin. It amazed me how every single one of my friends could be so beautiful.

Mary bit her lip, and dropped her voice so it was barely a whisper. If I hadn't been right beside her, I wouldn't have been able to hear her. "This is going to sound a little crazy, and I know Marlene would kill me if she found out, but…I think…I don't know… I think I might like Landon."

"Landon _McKinnon?_ " I asked quickly, too quickly. It had caught me off guard. I knew she could see the surprise written across my face.

Mary hung her head. "I know. It's crazy, isn't it? And I know it would freak Marlene out but there's just something about him that I like. And I dunno, we always's had a good banter between us. I always thought he might like me too. Or he _did_ before he lost the Quidditch match. He hadn't said much of anything to me since then."

Thinking back on it, I had noticed that Mary and Landon got on really well. I had always thought that it was just Landon and Mary being flirty, like they were with other people. They were both fit people. They even had similar senses of humor. I didn't know how I hadn't put it together sooner. It made so much sense now that I knew how Mary felt.

"It doesn't sound crazy to me," I told her honestly. "Not at all."

"Really?" she asked quickly, her whole face lighting up with color. She was hanging on my every word.

I shook my head. "No, not at all. Landon's a nice guy, and he does seem to like you. Who cares if he's Marlene's brother?"

Mary's bottom lip quivered a little as she smiled. "I guess it doesn't matter much right now. Landon's so depressed about the match he doesn't care about anything else. I'm not going to pursue anything until he snaps out of it."

"Maybe you could be the thing to cheer him up," I suggested. "Losing the first Quidditch game of the year is really hard for everyone, especially a Captain. He probably just needs something to look forward to besides another match."

Mary's eyes drifted over to him again, but instead of admiration she looked hesitant and guarded. "Maybe. I guess I'll see how I feel when the next Hogsmeade visit comes around."

She sighed and dropped her head onto my shoulder. "You think Marlene will skin me alive if she finds out?" she asked quietly.

I patted her head. "I don't think so. Marlene's free-spirited about romance, you know that. She's not exactly the kind to judge. And anyway, she loves you, Mare. I think she'd support anything that makes you happy."

"I hope so," Mary said and then shook her head. "Anyway, I'm glad you're here. Krysten has been telling that story for fifteen minutes now and I'm about to murder her. I need a distraction."

"Well," I told her plopping down onto the carpet, and placing my textbooks and parchment on the coffee table. "I have a potions essay and an astrology chart to finish. Want to help?"

Mary frowned. "Not really, but I guess I have no choice, huh? Unless I want to hear about Krysten's romantic tryst with a vampire."

"How does that even work?" I chuckled opening the book to the moon cycles chapter., "seems like it would be a little hard to snog someone when they're trying to sink their teeth into your neck."

"Leave it to Krysten to figure it out," Mary said shaking her head at the dark-haired girl across the room.

Mary and I spent the entire few hours we had before dinner working on our homework. The potions essay went easy enough. Lily had spent the entire class period the day before explaining it to Marlene and I in vivid detail, so I didn't mind writing it so much. It was the astrology chart that was soul-crushing. It was tedious busy work. It didn't take much thought to fill in the moons on the chart and it left my mind to free to wander to everything; My parents. Their upcoming horrible anniversary. Mary and Landon. Remus.

I thought about Remus the longest. His trouble with his mother's health made my stomach drop. I couldn't imagine what it was like to be going through that. When I lost my parents, it was quick. Watching them die slowly over years would have destroyed me.

And having to go up to St. Mungo's to visit them would be terrible. I filled in the moon phase for tomorrow night while I thought about how traumatic that would be. I drew in the full moon. For tomorrow night. What an awful time to be out and about.

By the time dinner rolled around I was still absorbed in my moon chart, and I was yawning as I drew another week's worth of moons.

"You coming to dinner?" Mary asked, as most of the common room cleared out for the Great Hall.

I shook my head, "You go. I really want to finish this before midnight," I sighed. "I still have another month's worth of moons to chart."

"Alright. I'll sneak you back some food."

"Thanks, Mary."

I spent almost the entire time everyone was at dinner finishing up the moon charts, until my eyes were squinting and I filled in the final moon. I was exhausted tonight and wanted nothing more to go upstairs and crawl into my bed, but I had to wait and tutor Sirius. I leaned backward resting against the couch while the rest of our house came slowly filing back into the Common Room.

I didn't see Sirius come in until he was right beside me.

"Merlin Meadowes, if I knew you were going to look this exhausted I wouldn't have made you wait for me," Sirius said plopping down on the plush carpet beside me. His hair was pulled back in a loose bun on his shoulders, and was smirking at me.

I turned around and gave Sirius a pointed look. "Haven't you ever heard it's not polite to insult a woman's physical appearance?" I asked.

Sirius chuckled. "Whose insulting you, Meadowes? You can be extremely fit and look like you need to crawl into bed too. Then again, you probably need to crawl into someone else's bed."

I rolled my eyes. "You really have a way with words, Sirius, I'll give you that," I told him opening the fat Charms book in front of him.

"You get right don't the point, don't you?" Sirius sighed taking out his quill. "Not even a little small talk first? I haven't seen much of you lately. Actually, no one has."

I rubbed my eyes with the back of my fist. "I've been so busy studying lately I haven't even had the time to sleep or eat," I admitted. Truthfully, I had been so absorbed with distracting myself from my parents upcoming anniversary that I had barely slept. I was having nightmares every night and even hours of potions homework couldn't make it any easier.

"That reminds me," Sirius said handing me something wrapped in a napkin. "Macdonald forced this into my hand and told me to give it to you. She and McKinnon went off to pull Evans away from Snivellus." Sirius made a face at the mention of the Slytherin.

"Good. She spends way too much time with him anyway."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Not a fan of Snivelly are we? What happened to 'don't egg him on'"

"I said don't egg him on, not that I like him," I reminded him.

I unwrapped the napkin and found a hefty hunk of roast pork sitting on a buttered roll with greens. Mary had crafted me a sandwich out of dinner, and it smelled fantastic. I bit into it and almost moaned.

Sirius watched looking a little amused as I finished the entire thing in a minute.

"So what was so pressing you had to reschedule?" I asked him, swallowing a large mouthful of food.

"Not so much a what, but a _who_ ," Sirius corrected. "Cessa Urquhart finally decided to show me a little sneak preview of the Ravenclaw dormitories, if you know what I mean." He looked rather proud of himself.

My jaw fell open before I could stop it. He had canceled tutoring for a girl? From what Remus had said, it was something important. I could feel the anger seething through my veins. It took everything I had to try and squash it.

"You made me reschedule for a _snogging session_?" I seethed. My teeth were clenched, and I narrowed my eyes as I stared him down. It took everything in me not to scream. I don't know why I was so angry. It was rude and inconsiderate, sure. But when had Sirius ever claimed not to do things like that? Why was it infuriating me so much?

"Not just any snogging session," Sirius clarified. "One with Cessa Urquart. She's that sixth year with the giant-"

I cut him off. "Stop. I guarantee I don't want to hear what was about to come out of your mouth."

"I was going to say, giant _smile_. Get your mind out of the gutter, Meadowes. Actually, don't. I think I much prefer you this way."

He chuckled and then turned back to his Charms homework, filling the first question with ease.

I didn't have any other homework to do so I rested my head on the edge of the couch letting my eyes slip closed, listening to the scratching Sirius' quill on the parchment.

"You know Meadowes," Sirius said, as my eyelids fluttered, "if you're that exhausted you can go to bed. I am capable of finishing my homework without you."

" _Are_ you?" I asked quietly, keeping my eyes closed. "Professor Flitwick doesn't seem to think so."

"Well you're not much of a babysitter or a tutor if you're out cold, are you, Darling?"

I lifted my head, letting my eyes open as I watched him focus on the homework in front of him, struggling because they felt like lead.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "You wanna tell me why you've been so weird lately, Meadowes? Normally you're tripping over yourself to sass me during these sessions of ours and now you're falling asleep on me? I have to say this a first."

I let the corners of my mouth turn downward as he looked at me. I knew exactly why I was being so weird. I was so busy trying to distract myself from my parent's death it was all I was thinking about.

Sirius was still looking at me, waiting for me to answer. One I wasn't ready to give him. I could barely tell Marlene or Mary. I certainly wasn't going to tell him.

"I've just been busy, I promise," I told him.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're not a good liar, Meadowes."

"Neither are you," I reminded him. "Care to tell me how you managed to make the chairs in the transfiguration room scream?"

Sirius grinned. "I have no idea what you're talking about. How could you insinuate that _I_ had anything to do with that? You're going to tarnish my reputation."

Even through my exhaustion, I snorted. "Please, Black. Your reputation is so tarnished you can hardly see it anymore."

"Good to know the sass is still buried in there, Meadowes," Sirius chuckled going back to his book.

I flashed him a small smile as he finished his homework. For some reason, tonight Sirius innuendo and prying into my personal life didn't seem to bother me.

Instead, it was a welcomed distraction. Better than any potions homework or moon chart.


	10. Snow-Covered Village of Death

10

Snow-Covered Village of Death

A thick heavy blanket of snow fell over the castle in the coming weeks, making Hogwarts look like a postcard for the Christmas Season. Hagrid had finished all of the Christmas decorations and now you could hardly walk ten feet in the castle without seeing another magnificently adorned Christmas tree or string of garland.

It was so beautiful it instantly put everyone inside the castle's walls into a permanently good mood. It was hard to be stressed or worried with golden ornaments and never-melting snowman around every corner. The teachers had even lightened our load on homework in preparation for the upcoming festivities. Lily especially seemed to be in great spirits. Saddened that we wouldn't all be spending the holidays together this year, she had kept all of us very busy with holiday themed activities, including making quilts, handmade Christmas ornaments and even snowmen on the grounds, a muggle activity that Marlene and I absolutely adored from the moment she explained it.

The holiday spirit even managed to thaw Landon's icy mood from Gryffindor's loss. He seemed to be a little more himself, something that I noticed brightened Mary's day. He was even in a good enough mood to call Marlene a tart when she wore thigh high stocking to dinner one evening. It seemed overall, everyone was in a better mood, even me. The general cheeriness of everyone in the castle made it easy to distract myself from the things I didn't want to think about. There was even a Hogsmeade trip scheduled for December 11th, something that relieved me to no end. It would be harder to let the anniversary of my parents depress me if I was busy in Hogsmeade. It was the last trip to the village we had before Christmas and I needed to use the time to purchase some last-minute Christmas gifts.

I had already ordered both Marlene and Mary the new Goblin Gang record from an ad in the back of the daily prophet, and Lily the newest encyclopedia of potions ingredients, but everyone else on my list was sorely lacking.

The trip couldn't have come at a better time. When I woke up that morning, I actively did my best not to think about what had happened four years ago. It wouldn't serve to help anyone. It would only make it harder for me to get out of bed. I could feel the eyes of every one of my dorm mates on me as I crawled out of my four poster, each of them knowing exactly what today was and hoping no one accidently brought it up.

"Morning!" Lily said brightly. Too brightly. I could see the worry creeping in around her "How'd you sleep?"

I rubbed at my eyes. "Alright. What about you?"

Lily's was watching me so carefully I was sure she was studying my behavior for key signs of an impending depression or a breakdown. "Good. Excited about the trip to Hogsmeade today," she said happily. "We can even get that gingerbread flavored butterbeer you and Marlene love so desperately."

"Merlin yes!" Marlene cheered from underneath her covers, where she was rolled as a ball.

"I don't know why they go mental over those things," Mary said shaking her head as she left the bathroom.

"Sounds good to me, Lils," I told her seizing the opportunity to slide into the bathroom before anyone else did. I just needed a minute to myself to prepare mentally for the day I was about to have.

I had already had the nightmares last night. Felt every horrible and wonderful memory come flooding back to me. I was going to do my best to not think about it. A feat that was becoming harder the longer I looked in the mirror. It really hurt to look at my reflection sometimes. The similarity of it to my mother was striking. We could have been sisters. There were subtle differences. I had my father's square jaw and arched eyebrows, and my mother had freckles strewn across her nose that had never made it onto my face, but that's where the differences stopped. Looking into the mirror was like a punch in the gut. Like a permanent family photo, I couldn't shove into a drawer and ignore.

I cleaned myself up as quickly as I could and then headed straight for my trunk searching for anything warm enough to wear to a trip to Hogsmeade. It was snowing again outside so I bundled myself in everything I could find; coats, mittens, scarfs, and a thick scarlet woolen hat Lily had knitted for me the Christmas before.

"Aw! you're wearing the hat I made you," Lily said, delighted. She traced the pom-pom on the top it with pride.

"Of course, Lily. You know I love this hat," I assured her.

Lily beamed as she wrapped her tan coat around her tighter. She managed to look beautiful despite the weather, wearing a cozy sweater dress with thick woolen leggings underneath.

"I hate dressing for the snow," Marlene sighed as I laced up my thick winter boots.

"Because you can't show skin or because it's cold?" Mary asked her, tossing on another coat.

Marlene stuffed a thick green sweater over her head. "Both. How am I supposed to look good when I'm wearing four layers of bloody clothing?" She groaned and tossed another jacket on over her sweater, looking miserable about it.

Mary shook her head at her. "Marlene, if you're breathing, you look good."

Marlene winked at her and tossed a striped hat, one that I was sure had once belonged to Otto Bagman, over her head.

I made sure to shove my money bag into my coat pocket before we left so I could buy presents and then waited for my friends to be ready, counting bricks on the fireplace to keep my mind from wandering.

We all finished getting bundled up in gloves and scarves and made our way down to the grounds, electing to snack on something delicious at Honeydukes rather than breakfast at the Great Hall. We had gotten a late start today and doubted we'd have made in time for anything other than stale toast anyway.

The snow was coming down in thick fluffy sheets when we made our way to the grounds, and we barely spoke as we hurried quickly to the village, shivering the entire way. The village was crowded with students today, but you couldn't tell who anyone was in such baggy clothing or through the lens of snowflakes.

"Thank god," Marlene said pushing into the first shop she spotted. It was a trinket shop with a stately, old witch behind the counter, and the air in there was thick and heated. It felt fantastic on my cheeks, which were already bright red from the frigid air outside.

"You think I would be used to this by now," Mary said shivering, "but I still hate the bloody cold. I'm moving somewhere warm the first chance I get."

"I went to Brazil once with mum and dad," Lily said dreamily. "It was warm all year there."

Mary shivered again. "That sounds perfect. Off to Brazil I go, then."

I cracked a smile and wandered through the shelves, looking at all of the items laid out. There was a nice display of scarves that I thought Amelia might like. I picked two them up and weighed them in my hands when Marlene appeared very suddenly in front of me.

"We're supposed to be distracting you on this the little adventure of ours today, you know," she told me, bluntly. In a way that only Marlene could, without coming off crass. "Lily made sure Mary and I knew we weren't to leave you alone even for a second in fear you'd point your wand in your own face or something."

I almost snorted. That was so like Lily. She worried far too much. "Come on, Marlene. I'm fine. It's just going to be a weird day is all."

"I know," Marlene said encouragingly "I told Lily that, it's just you know, she worries. So, do I, for that matter. You're always so quiet about these things. The rest of us never shut up when somethings on our mind, and you're not like that."

I sighed, and Marlene wrapped a coat-covered arm around me. "It'll be okay, Meadowes. I promise. You've got us three."

"That's one of the only things that'll get me through the day," I reminded her, and picked up two of the scarves. "Now if you really want to be helpful. Which color do you think Amelia would like Violet or Orange?"

Marlene narrowed her eyes and stared at the two choices. "With her hair? Orange definitely, unless you want her to look like a bloody Ravenclaw." She wrinkled her nose as if she could imagine nothing worse. And I guess for a fifth generation Gryffindor, there wasn't an ounce of her that could imagine being in any other house.

"Orange it is," I smiled, dropping the other scarf on the table and glad we were no longer talking about me or my problems anymore.

I spent the first two hours of my trip, linked arm walking with Marlene while we picked out presents for her sisters, and I found a nice new silver teapot for Hagrid. Mary found a lovely set of Daffodil perfume for Julie, and Lily attempted to find something for her Petunia and gave up when she realized anything she bought for her in Hogsmeade would only anger Petunia more. Lily and Mary talked the entire time we shopped, not letting a moment of the conversation lull. I knew it was for my sake so I couldn't let my mind wander anywhere that would make me sad. I was grateful. It was hard to feel grief when listening to Lily retell the story of how she had spent a fifteen-minute conversation with Kevin Hannigan thinking that the Wilbourne Wasps was a band instead of a Quidditch team.

We had to huddle together every time we left a shop, attempting to hide our faces from the blistering cold and not bump into other groups of last minute shoppers. By the time we got into Hogsmeade, it was so crowded with Hogwarts students there was standing room only.

"Do you think Carmichael would be offended if I got him the reduced sugar, sugar quills for Christmas?" Marlene asked holding up a carton of them, "he's been looking a little chunky lately."

I laughed so hard I almost choked on the bite of pumpkin pasty I had in my mouth. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say probably." I told her.

Marlene shrugged and dropped them into her shopping bag anyway. Lily was filing through a box of chocolate frog cards for sale when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She looked up to find Amos Diggory standing beside her, looking dashing in a brown overcoat dusted with snowflakes.

"Oh, hi Amos," Lily said happily. Marlene's gaze flew up immediately at the mention of his name.

Amos grinned at our red-headed friend. "Hey Lily. I just popped in for some Coconut Ice when I saw you and I couldn't go without saying hello to you."

Lily's face turned slightly pink, and Mary, Marlene and I watched, completely fascinated. I had had an inkling that Amos liked Lily, but I didn't know he was this upfront about it. I couldn't help but feel excited for Lily.

"I'm glad you did," Lily said, smiling wider than I had seen her all day. "I forgot to thank you for helping me with that Transfiguration homework last week. That vanishing spell was tricky."

I almost choked on the bite of pumpkin pasty in my mouth. Tricky? Lily had mastered that spell second in the class. There was no way she needed help with it. She obviously liked Amos.

Amos flashed his perfect white teeth. "Don't mention it, spending an hour with you in the library is hardly a punishment."

Marlene was so shocked, she dropped the box of cauldron cakes in her hand. Lily looked equally stunned at Amos' words.

"So listen, Lily," Amos said quickly. "I was thinking maybe when we get back from the holidays you and I could do something together? Maybe the next Hogsmeade visit? I'd love to take you out for a butterbeer."

Lily looked like she was at a loss for words, and her mouth hung open in surprise and she stared back silently. Mary gave her a kick in the ankles to get her to speak.

"I'd love too," she said quickly, pink and smiley.

Amos beamed. "Excellent. Listen any chance you want to wait with me while I pay for this? I heard a great story from Odie Macmillan about Slughorn that I think you'd love. That is if your friends wouldn't mind."

Marlene was still staring at the two of them in utter disbelief, and absolute excitement.

"Of course, we don't mind," Mary said giving Lily an encouraging show forward.

"Excellent," Amos flashed us all a smile and Lily followed him over to one of Honey dukes check-out counters.

The second they were out of ear shot, Marlene rounded on us, completely shocked. "Can you believe that? _Amos Diggory!?_ He's Quidditch captain of the Hufflepuff team and one of the handsomest boys at school. I am so absolutely in awe of Lily right now."

"I know," Mary said shaking her head. "Good for her. Amos is charming."

"You should have seen them last trip when we were at the three broomsticks," I told them. "He was _all_ over her."

Marlene clutched at her chest, pretending to dab at fake tears. "I've never been prouder of Evans than I am right now."

Mary chuckled, shaking her head and picked up a large box value size carton of Fudge Flies looking on the back of them for a price.

"Do you think seventeen sickles is a little overpriced for these?" she asked me.

"Fudge flies?" Marlene asked, looking at the box in her hands. "Landon is obsessed with those. I didn't know you liked them too."

I saw Mary go a little pink in her cheeks and catch my eye nervously. Marlene watched, blissfully unaware. It took me only a second to realize that the box in Mary's hands were not for her. It was a Christmas present, for _Landon._

"Who doesn't like Fudge Flies," I told Marlene. "They're delicious," I lied effortlessly.

Marlene shook her head and turned back to the shelf in front of her like she thought we were mad. Mary flashed me a grateful smile.

Marlene looked at a display and plucked a bright red lollypop off of it and handed it to me. "How many Galleons would it take for you try one of these?" she asked mischievously.

I twirled it in my hands and noticed that in black swirly writing the label read "Blood Lollipops. Made with real blood."

"Not for all the Galleons in Gringotts," I said wrinkling my nose. "That's truly repulsive."

Marlene wiggled it in front of my face for a second and then spun around back to the display giggling.

"We should get a few for Krysten so she can give one to that supposed vampire boyfriend of hers," Mary said bitterly. I laughed so hard I almost snorted.

Marlene grinned. "I do love it when Mary's catty. It makes everything so much more fun," she said spinning on the display beside her.

As second later, Lily returned from the back of the store with a handful of something white and red. "I got us all peppermints!" she exclaimed happily, skipping over and handing a couple to each of us. "They're new and supposed to make your breath minty for twenty-four hours guaranteed. I thought they were festive, don't you think?"

"Very," I agreed, popping one into my mouth and feeling the minty flavor melt over my tongue.

Marlene actually moaned when she tasted it. "These are bloody brilliant. Where'd you get them? Gran would love them, and I suppose I have to get that batty old bird something for Christmas If I want to stay in the will."

Both Mary and I exchanged a look, knowing Marlene was only dragging Lily away to get a detailed report of _everything_ Amos had said.

"Back over here," Lily gestured to the other side of the store, still a little pink and playing along. "I'll show you." She hesitated for a second and flashed Mary a careful look. One I knew meant for her to stay with me.

The tiny sweet shop was already crowded with Hogwarts students and a large group of first years had just pushed through the door, making it so that we barely had room to stand.

"Want to pay for these and then head outside?" I asked Mary. "I can hardly breath in here."

"Definitely," Mary nodded. We fought our way to the counter and Mary paid for the box of Fudge Flies with a tiny smile across her face.

"Did you notice Landon's been in a better mood all of a sudden?" she asked me as we headed back outside. The snow wasn't falling anymore, but the village was still covered in its thick white carpet.

"I did actually. I told you he'd snap out of it eventually."

She looked at the store across the street dreamily, "Yeah I hoped so. I'm thinking about talking to him after the holidays."

I could tell just from the look on her face, how excited she was at the possibility of moving things forward with him.

I was about to tell her what a great idea I thought that was when someone shouted something over me, silencing me in the process.

"Why, if it isn't the always delicious Doe Meadowes," Rabastan purred. I groaned loudly. I hadn't noticed that he was walking up the path towards us. Everyone was too bundled up to know who they were, and a moment ago he had looked like nothing more than a dark overcoat. If I had seen him, I would have left. I was not in the mood for a confrontation with Rabastan, today of all days.

He was walking beside Walden Mcnair and Sebastian Mulciber, and had his prefect badge pinned to the front of his dark, fur coat. I felt Mary instantly tighten beside me in fear, and I knew why. She hated confrontations with the Slytherins on a normal day, but Sebastian Mulciber scared her to her core. He was always shouting the foulest things at her in the hallway.

Rabastan grinned as he watched me getting flustered, the smile reaching all the way to his cruel, bright green eyes. They ran over me in a way that made me shiver.

"What do _you_ want?" I hissed at him, making sure to take a step back so he was a good distance away from me. I slipped my right hand into my coat pocket and felt for my wand. I never liked to be without when I was anywhere near him.

"Watch your tone, Half-Blood," Walden warned, his eyes narrowing as he looked to Rabastan for guidance as to what to do. I wanted to snort.

"Half-blood?" I asked irritated, "Are you really trying to use that one as an insult now? Pretty sure that crosses the line from just ignorant to dumb as a troll."

"You know I love it when you're cold to me." Rabastan said smoothly, ignoring his companion. "You look so much lovelier with a sneer on that flawless face of yours, Pet."

I took a quick scan of the crowds around us. Every few feet were another cluster of people. Plenty of witnesses. I doubted Rabastan was stupid enough to try anything here, but that didn't stop the fear from pouring out of me in droves.

"Then I must look downright gorgeous in front of you all the time," I snapped, feeling my hand wrap around the smooth handle of my wand. One quick movement and I'd have it pointed right at him.

McNair rolled his eyes annoyed, and Mulciber was too busy sneering at Mary to listen to anything I was saying. Only Rabastan seemed further amused.

One side of his smile pulled up into a cocky sneer. He took a step closer to me and I backed up against the wall of Honeydukes, pulling my wand out of the coat pocket. Rabastan took the opportunity to take another step forward, boxing me in.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at?" Mary hissed at him. He ignored her, pushing closer to me, as Mulciber held his wand up to my friend. I could see the fear widening in May's eyes as she clutched her wand feebly in her right hand. It was enough to make me shake with anger.

"Back off Rabastan," I seethed, pointing my wand at him. I didn't know what I planned on doing with it, but if he tried anything I would hit him full force with the worst hex I could think of.

Rabastan rolled his eyes, and only then did I notice the wand ready in his hand. As a sixth year, he knew non-verbal spells. I had no idea what he was planning, and had to wait for the proper moment to strike. It was just like Professor Marchbanks' practical, Do I hex or shield first?

"One of these days, Meadowes," Rabastan purred, "you're going to be begging me to strip you of some of these layers." His left hand reached out to grab the collar of my white coat. He used it to pull me towards his chest, so close I could smell the touch of fire whiskey on his breath. Where he had managed to get that in Hogsmeade, I didn't know. Leave it to him, to break school rules even in the village.

"Get your hands of me," I shoved him forward, but his grip only tightened on me, turning into a steel trap on my coat. I felt such a real rush of fear course through me, I froze. I don't know why I worried like this when Rabastan was around. But jinxing him wasn't as easy as it was jinxing Narcissa or Elizabeth. The look in Rabastan's eyes was always so much more sinister.

"Would you just stop it?" Mary hissed loudly at him, still staring Mulciber's lazy wand in the face. "What has she ever done to you? Why can't you just leave her _alone_?"

Rabastan smiled. "Doe has never done a thing to me, that's sort of the problem don't you think, _Mudblood_? Think of all the fun we could have together if she lightened up a bit."

His callous use of the slur drained all of the color from Mary's face paralyzing her where she stood.

I lifted my wand and shouted, " _Expelliarmus!_ "

The wand in Mulciber's hand went flying to the ground and Mary took the opportunity to disarm Rabastan immediately. McNair hadn't been paying enough attention to do anything but look up.

Anger flashed across Rabastan's eyes for a second as he watched his wand go flying into a pile of snow at his right. It only lasted a second before he regained his composure enough to sneer back at me.

"I do love your form of foreplay," he teased, his right hand reached out to stroke my cheek. I flinched, and kept my wand raised, ready to inflict something worse if he came anywhere near me.

"HEY!" a loud voice shouted behind me. "What's goin on here?"

I hoped to merlin it was a teacher, coming to break this up before any of us ended hexed. Instead, I looked up to find Sirius and James, flanked by Peter and Remus. It wasn't exactly the authority I was looking for, but I wouldn't turn down their help if they offered. Rabastan and his friends were about to be outnumbered by Gryffindors. I had actually never been quite so relieved to see the Marauders before.

"Nothing that concerns you, _Black_ ," Rabastan sneered with the usual disgust and reverence that Slytherins gave Sirius. To them, he was nothing more than a Blood traitor.

It was bold, I'd give Rabastan that, but in my opinion very foolish. Sirius was every bit as attractive and talented as Rabastan was, but without the concern for breaking the rules that Rabastan had as a prefect. If it were to come down a duel, I'd place every Galleon in my money bag on Sirius.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at Rabastan. "You harassing a member of my house, isn't my concern? I always knew you were dense, but how do you figure that, Lestrange?"

Rabastan's upper lip twitched slightly. "Your house," Rabastan chortled, "What a joke that is in and of itself. And interactions between Doe and _I_ have nothing to do with you. I suggest you leave and mind your own business, if you know what's good for you." Rabastan turned to his cohorts to see if they were supporting him.

"Only weak men make petty threats," Remus said softly. Mulciber cast him a dirty look.

Sirius didn't even look slightly phased. "From the look on Doe's face I'd say it's you who she wants to leave," he said firmly, "I wonder, do all the girls you try and seduce look that horrified? If so, you might want to take a hint."

"I bet that's why he's here, Pads" James added cheekily. "He's finally run out of unwilling participants in his own house and now has to force himself onto unsuspecting Gryffindors."

Sirius chuckled, looking highly amused by his mate's comment.

"As if the opinion of you two blood traitors matter to me," Rabastan snapped, "Both of you are a disgrace to your blood status. Potters always chasing after the redheaded mudblood, and well I'd be embarrassed to see a list of who you've let into your bed, Black. Bet there wasn't a pureblood among them."

"You've got that right," McNair chuckled.

James' face turned bright red, and he was shaking with anger as he pointed his wand at Rabastan. "What the hell is wrong with you, Lestrange?"

"You are _such_ a Git, Rabastan," I spat.

Sirius looked calmer than James and I, but I could see his fist twitching by his side. "You know," he said in a strangely even voice, "For someone who's supposedly obsessed with blood-status you seem very eager to worm your way up Meadowes' skirt. Last time I checked, she was a Half-blood."

"Exceptions can always be made for a good shag." Rabastan smiled cruelly, casting a long look at e." Especially with a face like that. My father used to say her mother was just as pretty, until she fucked a mudblood of course."

That was all it took to set me off. There was no way to know if Rabastan was aware of what today was, or how bringing up my parents would enrage me. It acted like a sparked fuse, igniting a rage inside of me that I never managed to conjure when he was around. I just acted without thinking.

I raised my wand a cast the strongest stinging jinx I could muster. It hit him right in the cheek, turning it bright red as it swelled three times its normal size. It looked as if he had been hit full force by a 300 pound man. Rabastan stared back at me, utterly stunned.

"You bitch!" McNair hissed, while James and Sirius burst into loud laughter.

"Leave," I hissed at the three Slytherins. "Or what I'll do next with make that look like a party trick."

Mulciber's upper lip curled over his mouth, and McNair sneered at me. Rabastan rubbed at his cheek, looking strangely confused, as if he as trying to reconcile what had just happened. He picked up his wand from the ground, and moved to leave, never taking his eyes off of me.

"I'll see you around, Doe," Rabastan threatened coolly. "Maybe next time, we'll finally be alone."

"I wouldn't count on it," I said firmly, even though my insides were shaking so badly I could barely hold it together.

I knew Rabastan and how he operated. He wouldn't forget something like this easily. I knew I had to be careful from now on.

Rabastan, Mulciber and McNair cast one more fleeting, furious look at the group of us and then sauntered off down the snowy path back to the castle, to no doubt plan their revenge on every Gryffindor they passed along the way.

The second they were out of sight, I let out a breath of relief. Sirius turned me to looking shocked.

"I'll be honest. I thought you were overreacting about Lestrange," he said shaking his head incredulity. 'What did you do, slip him a love potion?"

I rolled my eyes. "Hardly. If I were going to brew a love potion do you think I'd use it on _Lestrange?"_ I shook my head. "I'd pay a hundred Galleons to never have him look at me again."

"That's a good deal, Peter," James said chipperly, "You're great at poking people in the eyes with your wand. You should aim for Lestrange and make Meadowes pay up."

Peter shook his head. "No way, Lestrange would murder me."

Sirius shrugged. "Wouldn't worry about it Worm tail, from the looks of it Doe can fight her own battles. You want to let me know how you've never lost points if you could do a stinging jinx? Blimey, I'd use it all the time."

Mary snorted. "Well, therein lies the difference between you and the rest of us Sirius, _self-control."_

"But my way is so much more fun," Sirius pouted. "I think everyone would have a much better time if everyone were like me."

Remus shook his head vehemently. "If everyone were like you, Sirius. The world as we know it would implode."

Sirius waved him off. "Stop being so sensible, Moony. It leads to wrinkles." James snickered.

"So what are you two doing standing out in the snow?" Sirius asked Mary and I. "Besides hexing Slytherins and all?"

"Waiting for Lily and Marlene," I told them. The cold was finally starting to get to me again and I had to bounce up and down to keep myself warm. "But they better hurry up, because Rabastan has put me into a mood that only gingerbread butterbeer can fix."

"What a coincidence," James replied happily, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. " _We_ were just headed to the Three Broomsticks, ourselves. We should join you. I bet Evans would just love that, don't you think?"

I bit my lip to keep from laughing in his face. Mary hid her delight a little better with only a small smile.

"Can I watch while you ask her?" I told him. "I could use a laugh."

James shook his head. "Don't be negative, Meadowes. She's going to love the idea."

"Well here she comes," Mary replied excitedly. "Let's see shall we, Potter?"

Lily and Marlene had just emerged through the front door of Honeydukes, each of them clutching a striped bag full of treats. Lily's face was flushed with color and they were both laughing as they approached us.

Marlene's eyes lit up as she took in our guests and Lily's face drained of the happy color she had a moment before.

"Well, hello boys," Marlene said flirtatiously, twirling her bags in one hand. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Sirius smirked, and turned to James. "It's your time to shine, Prongsie."

James ran his hands through his hair and grinned at Lily. "Well, you see, _McKinnon._ We helped Meadowes and MacDonald out of a tricky situation with Lestrange and Co, and figured that that heroic display of courage and loyalty warranted a trip to the Three Broomsticks."

Marlene looked like she might squeal with delight. "Well, that sounds very reasonable, doesn't it?"

Lily didn't seem to be concerned with the butterbeer or the company. Her eyes flew to Mary and me, and her face looked terrified. "Rabastan was here?" she asked quickly. "Are you two alright? What happened?"

"Nothing happened," I assured her. 'He was a git, per usual, said something foul trying to scare us and then left."

"Don't forget the part where I _selflessly_ defended you," Sirius added cheekily.

"Or the bit where you and MacDonald disarmed them," Peter added.

"My personal favorite tidbit was the stinging jinx you hit Rabastan with, followed closely by Sirius' insinuation that he can't seduce women. But of course, I understand why you edited the story for time, even if you made certain stylistic choices _I_ wouldn't have." James said humorously.

Remus sighed softly, watching his friends with his usual amount of confusion and entertainment.

Lily and Marlene stared back at the three of them, slightly stunned. I guess, to them the situation would seem a little strange.

" _You_ jinxed Rabastan?" Marlene asked me after a moment, looking delighted. "Little Miss Non-Confrontation?" I blushed a little, my usually pale cheeks flooding with color as I nodded.

"It was brilliant," Peter said quickly.

"Revolutionary," Sirius added.

"One for the books," Remus said.

James smirked. "I thought the poor bloke might cry."

Lily stared at me completely shocked. While she normally didn't advocate for using violence to solve a problem. She had spent the better part of a year trying to get me to do something serious about Rabastan, despite the shiny prefect badge pinned to her chest.

"To be fair," I added quickly. "He said some pretty foul things about everyone here. _And_ my parents. I was lucky this lot showed up, or I might have done something worse." I gave the Marauders a small smile. What normally might have been a cheeky interruption, had really helped today.

Lily seemed to understand the weight of what I meant, especially today. She actually smiled about it.

"Well," she said evenly to the boys in front of us. "I guess it's a good thing you lot were hanging around."

It was probably the most civil thing she had said to the Marauders in the last few months. Marlene stared at her in complete disbelief, as Mary and I grinned. James looked like he was about to faint from the excitement of it all.

"So off to the Three Broomsticks then?" James asked quickly. "And you'll be joining us, _Evans?_ " He looked like he was baiting her. Waiting for the moment that she would get irritated and tell him to shove it.

Lily cast a fleeting look and me and then smiled. "I suppose. You still want butterbeer right?" she asked the three of us.

Marlene's jaw fell open. "Have you been confounded or something?" she asked in disbelief. "If James imperiused you, blink twice."

"Hush McKinnon," James ordered, covering Marlene's mouth with one of his gloved hands. "Why are you trying to spoil a good thing?"

"If this has been officially decided can we head over?" Mary asked. "I'm bloody thirsty."

Lily nodded, ignoring the expressions of shock that crossed over everyone else's face as the eight of us made our way down the snowy path towards the pub.

I still couldn't believe Lily had willingly agreed to this, and it seemed neither could James. He kept throwing anxious glances at Lily every five seconds to the point where Remus had to tell him to knock it off.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Lily asked me as we reached the crowded pub. "I don't want you trying to be brave. If you're upset and want to get back to the castle at any point just tell me okay?"

I was overwhelmed with my desire to hug her. Lily was so exorbitantly kind sometimes. I didn't know what I'd do without her.

"I feel good, Lils. I promise," I assured her. "Unless you're trying to use me as an excuse to get out of having a butterbeer with the Marauders?" I raised a cheeky eyebrow.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'd only ever do this for _you_. Remember that"

I beamed at her and entered the pub at a bit of a skip. It was so cold outside that the entire pub was completely crowded with people, both from Hogwarts and the village. There was dull roar of conversation that made it hard to hear anything from anyone who wasn't seated at your table.

As we entered, searching for a table, Sirius grabbed the arm of my coat and pulled me aside.

"Five Galleons Lily ruins this first," he whispered.

I grinned. "You're on. There's no way James will be able to be on his best behavior. He'll ruin it before we get our drinks." Sirius winked and turned toward the bar.

"Rosmerta!" he chanted loudly at the young barmaid, "I need your finest table for eight, please and of course, the pleasure of your company."

Madame Rosemerta looked up from the bar and flashed Sirius a cocky grin. She was young. Not much older than we were, with bright green eyes and a head full of curly blonde hair. Every male in the pub spent half their time there trying to get her attention, something Sirius and James had become experts at. Even Peter and Remus were staring at her like she was a witch weekly cover model. Marlene was looking at her with less interest. In fact, there was something a little cruel in her eyes, like she was sizing the barmaid up.

"Four girls, Sirius?" Rosmerta said shaking her head. "Isn't that a little much, even for you?"

Sirius beamed at her, and placed his hand over his heart. "Yes, it is. But don't you see? It takes _four_ birds to fill the hole you've left in my heart, Madame."

"You've broken his heart, Rosie," James agreed.

Rosmerta rolled her eyes as she cleaned a fire whiskey glass. "There's a booth in the back that will fit you lot. Eight butterbeers then?"

"Seven gingerbread ones," Sirius said. "And _I'll_ take a firewhiskey."

Rosmerta raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Oh, so you're now a seventeen-year-old fifth year?" she asked sarcastically. "I wouldn't boast about that if I were you."

Sirius nodded dramatically. "Yes, you missed my last birthday, and Merlin did that hurt me," he shook his head sadly, "That's alright though. I know how busy you are."

"Eight butterbeers coming right up," Rosmerta said pointing in the direction of the booth.

"Worth a shot," Peter said patting Sirius' shoulder. "One of these days she'll come around."

"Yeah when you actually turn seventeen," Remus added shaking his head.

Sirius waved them off as we took a seat in the crowded booth. The eight of us barely fit, but Marlene didn't seem to mind being shoved between Mary and Sirius.

"Puh-lease," Sirius said confidently. "Everyone knows Rosie wants me. It's only a matter of time."

"Isn't she dating that bloke who owns the joke shop?" Mary asked him, "Zelmer Zonko?"

"She _is_." Remus added, casting a specific look at Sirius as if he disapproved of his mate's callous disregard for her relationship status.

"Semantics," Sirius said leaning back against the booth, smiling confidently.

James nodded in agreement. "Beautiful birds always have someone. Until they have someone new."

"That's not always true," Lily told him, "sometimes people wait for people they actually care about, you know."

James grinned at her. "Of course, _I_ know that. Why do you think I'm always waiting around for _you?"_

I looked across the table at Sirius confidently, and raised an eyebrow. I knew James would ruin this first. Sirius only shook his head, sure he would still win. Cocky, arrogant, bastard.

Beside me, Lily's mouth had popped open in surprise at James comment but she looked as if she had no idea how to respond. I guess that was better than making a furious retort.

"Rosmerta isn't even _that_ pretty," Marlene said quickly, before a row could form between Lily and James. "People exaggerate her looks because she's a barmaid."

"Uh oh," James said. "Marlene's on the war path."

"Jealous McKinnon?" Sirius asked her wiggling one of his dark eyebrows at her.

Marlene snorted. "Hardly. I could take her now, and I've still got years to become even more beautiful." She fanned her perfect hair out over her shoulders and fluttered her eyelashes. It proved her point well enough. No matter how you felt about her on a personal level, there was no denying that Marlene was exceptionally beautiful.

"Baxter Thornbottle seems to think so," Sirius added with a chuckle. "he spent half of our Care of Magical Creatures lesson bragging about your broom closet session."

"Jealous, Black?" Marlene mocked him.

Sirius shook his head. "Impressed actually. You may be catching up to my number these days, Marlene. Although I do think you could do better than a Hufflepuff."

"I bet Lily doesn't think there's anything wrong with Hufflepuffs" Marlene joked, looking over at Lily with a mischievous grin, clearly thinking about Amos Diggory.

Lily flashed her a pointed look, clearly urging her not to bring that up. Not that I blamed her. I couldn't imagine what James would do with that information.

"I don't remember Baxter Thornbottle talking about Marlene in Care of Magical Creatures," Remus said, slightly confused.

"Well no you wouldn't," James added.

"Yeah you were off actually doing the assignment with Amelia and Doe," Sirius said shaking his head.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Remus said shaking his head. "Might I remind you that you copied that work I did? What would you have done if I hadn't actually done the work?"

Sirius' mouth stretched into a wide smile. "Copied Meadowes of course." He winked at me from across the table.

"Fat luck," Marlene chuckled. "Lily and Doe hate cheating. They're always going on and on about morals and ethics."

"So overrated," Mary added, siding with her blonde best friend.

"How dare we?" I asked sarcastically, looking at Lily.

"Attempt to be honest and good people?" Lily joined in, chuckling. "We should really be expelled at this point, huh Doe?"

"Indubitably," I said suppressing a laugh.

Sirius turned to James. "It's like Moony copied himself and put on a couple of wigs."

"I could do worse," Remus said confidently, flashing Lily and I a wide smile. "They're what? The best in the year?"

Lily smiled widely at Remus, and I turned back to Sirius. "See? Now Remus is clearly my favorite Marauder." He rolled his eyes.

"If this is what it means to be a prefect, no wonder we were never chosen," James said to Sirius. "They whole lot of them are barmy."

I sighed. "For the five hundredth time this year, I am _not_ a prefect," I reminded them sternly.

"Dumbledore's biggest mistake, let me tell you," James said shaking his head. "You're every bit as annoyingly principled as Lily and Remus, and I truly mean that."

"That's probably the kindest thing he's ever said to us," Lily chimed in.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," I nodded, taking off my gloves.

"I don't doubt it," James said shaking his head.

Madame Rosmerta interrupted the conversation by flitting over and conjuring a floating tray of gingerbread butterbeer. Her turquoise high heeled boots announcing her arrival before she did.

"I can always count on you two to order these," she said looking at me and Lily and she passed them around. "Always hounding me about keeping them all year. I swear last year, Lily was first in line to get one."

I actually moaned as I took the first sip of mine. They were _that_ good. Lily was staring at hers as if it was the most precious potion she had ever brewed.

"They're too good to limit to just December," Lily assured her, clutching the warm mug in her tiny hands.

"Honestly," I added. "You'd make a killing if you sold the stuff all year. You could open a storefront in Diagon Alley selling just these and make enough to retire. I'd even invest in that."

Rosmerta laughed. "You are always the same you know that. A silver-tongue to match that silvery hair of yours. Between you and this one," she pointed at heavily manicured finger Sirius. "I'm never not smiling. There must be something in the water up in Gryffindor tower."

"Oh, come on, Rosie. What about me? I'm just as charming as these too. I even brought you my favorite snitch. Don't I always make you laugh?" James asked, ruffling his hair again.

"Probably just from looking at you," Lily added with a smile. James frowned at her, but it was hard to deny the tiny smile that lingered. It wasn't Lily's usual form of tearing into him. Instead this felt more lighthearted, almost like teasing, and James noticed, flushing.

Rosmerta chuckled. "Nothing better than a fiery redhead." She smiled at Lily, and turned on her heels back to the bar, clicking against the stone floor as she did.

The second she was gone, Sirius rounded on me. "Trying to steal Rosmerta out from under me, Meadowes?" he asked cheekily.

I fluttered my eyelashes at him. "Why? Worried she'd choose me over you?"

Sirius' face suddenly became very serious. "Nope. I'd give every galleon in my Gringotts vault to watch _that."_

James and Marlene laughed so hard, butterbeer came spilling out of their noses. Peter snorted and knocked over his entire mug onto Mary's lap, while Remus and Lily's jaws fell open. Mary quickly moved to vanish the puddle of butterbeer on her skirt, casting a dirty look at Peter and his denseness as she did.

"You're foul, Sirius," I told him, shaking my head.

"Yes, I am," Sirius said, "But I am also loaded. You should really consider the offer."

I cracked a smile. "Stop trying to make what Rosmerta and I have cheap and meaningless."

Remus groaned. "Look what you've done to her, Sirius. You are corrupting her."

"I am not," Sirius assured him. "She may hide it better than I do, but Doe is just a depraved as me."

I snorted into my butterbeer. "Right. I hate to break it you, but Salazar Slytherin wasn't as depraved as you are, Sirius."

"Hey!" Marlene shouted humorously. " _I_ am the slag of this friend group. If anyone is attempting a romantic tryst with Rosmerta, it will be me. Depravity is my middle name."

"I forgot about that," Mary chuckled, "Marlene _Depravity_ McKinnon."

"What can I say? It's a family name," Marlene said, causing everyone in the booth to burst into loud laughter.

It was strange to see all of us sitting her together enjoying a drink. If someone had told me yesterday that we would be doing this, I would have thought they were barmy. But I couldn't hide how comforted I felt by the whole thing. Even Lily, seemed to be enjoying herself, with _the Marauders_.

It made absolutely no sense and I didn't mind one bit. It seemed to be the perfect antidote to the depression that came with today. The whole time we had been sitting here, I had been too distracted to think about my parents or their death even once. A rarity for me, considering it had been repeating on a loop every second since I had woken up this morning.

I almost thought I ought to thank Rabastan. If it hadn't been for his foul obsession with me, or his heinous comments about my parents. I never would have been doing this right now, sharing a butterbeer and a laugh with my housemates and friends.

I would have been content to stay here like this for hours, escaping the endless dread and grief I knew would be waiting for me when we headed back to the castle, especially tonight when I tried to close my eyes. I was already mentally preparing myself for the inevitable nightmares; the usual images of my parent's funeral interwoven with happy memories we used to share, and images of Aubleus' face.

"Did you guys here about what happened with Scarlet Kellman and her backfiring wand?" James asked happily, drawing me back out of my thoughts. He looked excited, no doubt about to launch onto one of his thrilling tales.

"Let me guess," Marlene said quickly. "You lot were the ones who made it backfire?"

James grinned, opening his mouth to speak when a scream drowned out anything he was saying. A young woman, clearly a shopkeeper in the village had burst into the pub, her wand drawn and her face screwed up in fear as she screamed. Everyone in the pub immediately silenced, as the young woman continued to scream. I noticed she wore Madam Malkins robes and had a an enchanted tape measure floating around her neck.

"Deidra, what's wrong? What is it?" Rosmerta asked coming to her side, frantically trying to get her attention as she screamed. Everyone in the pub was staring at her, particularly the older witches and wizards, the ones who no longer went to Hogwarts.

" _It's Beetie!"_ the frantic witch screamed. "He's…. he's…. _dead!"_

Rosmerta gasped and the witch broke into hysterics. "I went to his house by the mountain and found him dead inside! That mark was hanging over his house. _His mark, You-Know-Who!"_ The witch screeched again. " _Death Eaters in Hogsmeade!_ "

Her words had an instantaneous effect. Everyone in the pub ether went frigid and silent or erupted into fearful screams. The older witches and wizards raced to the door, to investigate, while Rosemerta let the frantic, screaming witch cling to the front of her robes.

" _Nobody move!"_ hissed Professor Sprout, diving out of one of the robes with Professor Kettleburn at her side, both of their wands drawn. I hadn't even realized they were here. "I don't want a single student to leave the pub!"

Professor Kettleburn darted through the door of the pub first and Professor Sprout turned back to Madame Rosmerta. "Rosmerta, no one leaves! Do you understand me? And do not let a single person in this door unless they are a student, Hogwarts staff or an Auror!" Professor Sprout demanded.

"Of course," Rosmerta nodded, standing guard at the front door of her pub. Professor Sprout nodded, clinging to her patchwork hat as she apparated and disappeared from the pub.

All around the Three Broomsticks, Hogwarts students began anxiously whispering to their companions, and drawing their wands. Two booths away, a couple of first and second years looked ready to faint. I didn't blame them. Death Eaters here, in Hogsmeade? And they had killed someone. The thought sent a spike of fear down my spine. I wasn't the only one.

Mary had frozen in her seat, her hand still clutching her butterbeer mug as she stared off where Professor Sprout had been a moment ago. Lily's eyes were lit with a strange mixture of fury and fear, as she scanned both Marlene and I's faces for any sign of emotion. Mary kept shuddering, terrified.

"Death Eaters?" she muttered quickly. "Here? In Hogsmeade?"

"Don't worry," Marlene assured her. "The Professors are on it. No one's coming in here. By now the ministry has been alerted and is doing something. We're safe in here."

Mary didn't look even slightly comforted.

"How did this happen?" Lily asked quiet and scared. James eyes flashed to her immediately, his bottom lip quivering as he watched her face fill with fear. He looked as if he almost wanted to comfort her, but worried what her reaction was. He must have decided not to do anything and just watched her carefully instead.

"I don't know," James said softly. "I don't know how anyone could be this sick."

Marlene's face was screwed up in frustration and she shook her head gently. "They warned us, didn't they? Everyone said this was getting worse. They've been recruiting all summer, and all those muggleborns were getting attacked and killed all over England." She sat on her hand looking miserable. Beside her, Mary's hands were shaking.

"Why isn't anyone doing anything about it?" Remus demanded. "How do they have this much reach?"

"I thought the Aurors would have put a stop to this already," I said shaking my head. Another death. Someone senselessly slaughtered just like my parents, all because of blood status.

"He's powerful," James said silently. "A demented, lunatic, but people say he's one of the greatest Wizards they've ever seen."

"How powerful?" Peter asked, his eyes wide and strange. "Can that be true?"

"Dumbledore's the greatest Wizard in the world," Lily said firmly. "He'll do something to stop him. Just like Grindelwald. He has too."

"I don't know," Sirius said carefully. "Something tells me this is different. Grindelwald was just a criminal, someone skirting the lines for his own sake. This You-Know-Who, is different. He's starting this twisted revolution, calling for _genocide_ in a world where people like my family already have strong opinions about blood-status. He isn't just one man with supporters. It's like he's building up an army."

It was some of the most profound commentary I had ever heard about You-Know-Who, and it surprised me to hear it coming out of Sirius' mouth. It was enlightening, deep and well thought out. I didn't think Sirius had been capable of being that deep or insightful. It seemed out of character.

"An army?" I asked him curiously. "You don't think this is going to become _a war,_ do you?"

Sirius nodded gravely. "Unfortunately, that's _exactly_ what I think."

The weight of his words settled in the air for a moment.

War.

If he was right, and this situation turned that serious, it would completely disrupt our world. We would be plunged into an unrecognizable magical community that constantly put us in danger. I couldn't imagine a reality where the streets of Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley turned into a battlefield. War meant casualties, and loss of life. If this was true, my future had suddenly become a lot more dangerous. Aurors were the only people in our world that could keep the peace, who could stop this. I would be putting myself in harm's way every moment of my life.

I realized it didn't matter. That was exactly what I wanted. There was no one better suited for that. My principles and unwavering dedication to what was right, would be needed. I would do whatever I could to make sure all of this stopped. No matter what it meant risking. You-Know-Who had to fall.

No one said anything else for a few minutes, and the pub became so silent you could hear a pin drop. Rosmerta hovered near the front door, anxiously looking through the tiny window any time she heard even the slightest sound.

After another half hour, a tense and snow-covered Professor McGonagall storde through the door with Hagrid at her side. Both looked worn and grave.

"All students are too return to the castle immediately," Professor McGonagall ordered, "You will follow Hagrid or myself and do not stop."

Lily exchanged a quick look with me as we gathered our bags and headed out of the pub, with the others. We followed the line leading for Hagrid, and as we did we saw the village was completely empty. The snow was still falling, but there wasn't a single person left in the village besides the lines of students following the other Professors back up to the castle.

I heard a second-year gasp, and then several others join in. I followed their eyes and felt all of the breath leave my chest.

Hovering in the air above the houses closest to the mountain, was a large smokey mark. It was giant green and black snake sliding in and out of the mouth of an open skull. You didn't have to know who it belonged to or what it signified to know the context of it. This mark screamed death.

"What is that?" Lily asked as we stared at it.

"That's the Dark Mark," James answered solemnly, not taking his eyes off of it. "That's _His_ mark."

You-Know-Who's calling card. His mark of death, hanging in Hogsmeade.

"Keep er…moving, everyone!" Hagrid said firmly ushering us back to the path to the castle, desperate to get everyone to stop looking at it.

No one said anything the entire walk back.


	11. Black and Blue Christmas

11

Black and Blue Christmas

What had happened in Hogsmeade was the only thing anyone seemed interested in discussing for days.

I spent half the time we were in our dormitory talking to Marlene and Alice about it at length, in hushed voices. As the only Purebloods in our dorm, they knew the most about the situation. Everyone in their family had either been approached by Death Eaters for joining, or were so vehemently outspoken about them that they knew all the secret underground resistance gossip. I tried to do this mostly when Lily and Mary weren't around. Neither of them liked discussing it very much, and I understood why. As muggleborns witches, they were the targets of this new mindset. They were in more danger than anyone else.

Lily was a little better about talking about it then Mary was. If anyone even mentioned it in front of Mary, she would immediately get up and walk to another room.

Only the Slytherins seemed to be in good spirits anymore. Most of them didn't acknowledge the article or what had happened in Hogsmeade, but skipped around in a much better mood than the rest of us. Some of the more vile, outspoken Slytherins, like Narcissa and Elizabeth, or Mulciber and Rabastan would strut around the castle telling anyone who would listen about how this was the wave of the future and how they couldn't wait for a new world without mudbloods. It was enough to horrify any reasonable person.

The Professors refused to discuss it with us any further than telling us that Hogsmeade visits had been canceled for the foreseeable future, and not even Hagrid would tell me or Lily anything else, no matter how much we pestered him about it.

"You ought not to be knowin about things like that," he had told he us, gruffly.

The morning prophet hadn't been much more enlightening than that. All it said was that Beetie Roundbottom, a muggleborn gardener living in Hogsmeade had been murdered late Saturday morning, and that You-Know-Who's dark mark had been found hovering above the house. If they knew more, they weren't telling.

A fear had pierced the castle after the article had come out. After receiving an influx of owls from nervous parents, over half the students who had elected to stay at the castle for the holidays redacted their names and started packing their trunks. I knew why. Their parents didn't think Hogwarts was safe anymore, now that an attack had happened so close to the school. They would rather have them at home. That's what Rylie Fawcett told me, when I came into the dorm the day before the train was set to leave and found her furiously packing her trunk to head home. Caradoc Dearborn had done the same that morning.

In all the times, I had stayed at the castle for the holidays, it was always full of people. It was only fear keeping them home now.

The day before break officially began, I was sitting in the dormitory with Lily snacking on some leftover peppermint, when Mary burst through the door shaking with anger. She clutched a thick letter in her hands and her face was turned down in frustration.

"Mary, Are you okay? What's wrong?" I asked, patting the spot next to me on the bed.

Mary crossed her arms, clearly frustrated and tossed the letter down beside her on the blanket.

"My parents just wrote me," she said breathlessly. "They're demanding I come home for Christmas."

I felt some of the excitement I had been holding onto in anticipation of the holiday slip from me, and did my best to hide it for her sake.

She handed me the letter, her bottom lip quivering. One quick scan of it told me all I needed to know. Just like the hordes of other parents, Mary's parents weren't comfortable with her spending the holidays at Hogwarts knowing an attack had happened so close by. I couldn't blame them, even if I was slightly disappointed. I passed it to Lily so she could read it too.

"How did they find out?" I asked, doing my best to hide how crestfallen I was.

Mary sighed. "That's the worst part _. Julie_ told them. I don't think she meant to be a right little git about it, but that doesn't matter now does it? I have to go home, and it's her fault."

She let out a loud sigh. "I am _so_ sorry, Doe."

I shook my head. "Don't be, Mary. It wasn't your fault, and anyway I've already told you guys I don't mind being alone. It's not that big of a deal." Mary scoffed.

"Doe," Lily said giving me a strangely parental look. "Are you sure you don't want to come home with me? It could be really fun, and I know my parents wouldn't mind at all. I hate the thought of you sitting here all alone."

"With the Slytherins," Mary added, wrinkling her nose.

"You guys are looking at this all wrong," I told them. "It's not a punishment to stay here. I don't have to go back to the orphanage and as far as I'm concerned that's the best present I could ask for. I won't be alone or stuck with Slytherins. I can spend some time with Hagrid, and catch up on reading. I'll even get my choice of couch in the Common Room."

My friends stared back at me, still thoroughly unconvinced.

"Are you absolutely sure that's what you want?" Lily asked, desperately hoping I changed my mind.

"Absolutely."

It was only half a lie. I loved the castle at Christmas, and anything was better than the orphanage. Not to mention, I had already promised myself that I wouldn't ever let my situation burden my friends. I wanted them to enjoy their holidays with their families without any intrusion from me. It wasn't their fault that I had no family.

Over the next twenty-four hours, my friends asked me no less than fifty times if I was sure about my decision, each one of them offering to take me home with them at every opportunity. I had to admire their dedication and selflessness, even if I wouldn't take them up on it.

It wasn't until they were all at the gates to the grounds preparing to be led to the Hogsmeade Platform by Filch that they lightened up.

"And you're sure?" Marlene asked, struggling with her trunk and owl cage, "like _sure-sure?_ "

Both Mary and Lily looked ready to wait for me if I told them I'd go and pack. It was sweet at the very least.

"Yes, I promise," I groaned. "Now go before you lot miss your train."

Lily and Marlene sighed. Mary threw me a guilty look.

"Write if you need to talk!" Lily told me as they walked away, looking a little sad.

"It's only two weeks!"

Each of my friends threw me one more fleeting look as they waved and headed down to the station. I waited at the gate until I couldn't see their shapes anymore. It was sad to see them leave without me, but I knew I had made the right decision. To take them up on their offers would have been selfish.

I thought about all the fun they would no doubt have as I made my way back through the grounds and back up to the castle. On my entire walk, I only passed two other students, Albert Runcorn, a sixth year Ravenclaw and Amy Bentworth, Sirius' Hufflepuff fourth year stalker.

McGonagall had told me only twelve students were staying, and to expect to have the castle mostly to ourselves. She had said it a little solemnly, but to me that wasn't a punishment.

Four Slytherins had stayed this year and I was pleased to find out that none of them were Narcissa, Elizabeth, Rabastan or Mulciber. If Rabastan wasn't here, I wouldn't have to be constantly looking over my shoulder. I could focus on enjoying the holiday.

It was still frigidly cold outside even if some of the snow had started to melt slightly. I decided to bundle up and brave the cold to make a trip to Hagrid's hut, with his wrapped Christmas present. He was outside tending to thick hissing vines outside of his house when I approached.

"Hi Hagrid!" I boasted proudly. "How are you?"

"Good as ever," Hagrid said as he beat back one of the vines with his thick hand. "Glad ter see ya down here. Braved the cold, did ya?"

I clutched my coat tighter around me as I nodded. "I wanted to come and see you. I brought you your Christmas present too, but you have to swear you'll wait until Christmas to open in," I told him with a smile.

Hagrid gave a hearty nod. "A course. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise now would ya?" he joked.

He opened the door to his house. "Come on in. I got a fire goin and we can ha' some coco."

I followed in behind happily. The air inside his house was warm, and toasty. I took my coat off and curled up on one of the chairs at his table, while his puppy fang nestled happily in my lap.

"So been a tough time around the castle, huh?" Hagrid said passing me what looked like a bowl of hot cocoa as he sat across from me. "How've you been doin with everything?"

"Do you mean my parents, Hagrid?" I asked him softly., "You can just ask me, you know."

Hagrid gave me a sorrowful look. "I didn't want ter be rude."

I shook my head. "It's okay. You weren't," I sighed. "I always miss them. Sometimes, like around the holidays it's especially difficult, but I'm doing okay with it, I think." I brought the cup of cocoa back to my lips. It warmed them instantly and my chest as the hot liquid slid down my throat.

Hagrid took a hearty gulp of cocoa and shook his head. "It's a ruddy tragedy it is," he said sadly, "I knew yer mum too. Nice lady. Nicest Slytherin I ever knew. Yer dad too, always nice to the animals and such. Didn't deserve what they got."

He gave another shake of his head, "Anyway. How are yer classes? Fifth year as hard as they make it sound?"

I nodded. "Worse actually. It's break and I already have a mountain of homework waiting for me when it's over."

"They're working ya too hard up there," Hagrid said pointing a large finger back in the direction of the castle.

I chuckled and then turned back to him, getting an idea. "Any chance you can tell me anymore of what happened at Hogsmeade?"

Hagrid sighed. "I don't know why ya want to talk about that of all things," he said shaking his head. "An anyway I don't know ter much about it anyway."

I got the sense that Hagrid knew more than he was telling me but I didn't push him on it. I stayed at Hagrid's house for a few hours, finishing off a raisin cake he had made while we organized some of the unicorn tail hairs he had collected into a fine braid and then while we cleaned up all of the things Fang had destroyed while we weren't watching him. I liked spending time with Hagrid. It was like being with family. It didn't matter what we were doing, we would just talk about anything, like the animals he was taking care of in the forest. When I told him about the encounter I had had with the centaurs in the forbidden forest he became enraged.

"They tried to shoot yer!?" he demanded. "I'm gonna have a talk with Bane next time in there. Could have bloody killed ya couldn't he?"

"They were not the friendliest creature I've ever come across," I admitted, shuddering at the memory of the half-horses and their weapons.

Hagrid shook his head. "Ruddy stargazers."

When the sun started to set, I headed back to the castle, with an armful of leftover cake from Hagrid. The castle was quiet when I came back in. I only passed one tiny first-year Gryffindor on his way to dinner, who looked downright terrified of me. I wondered if it would be just me and him in Gryffindor tower.

"Draculus Lillies," I told the Fat Lady when I got to the portrait hole, repeating the password I heard Lily tell a second year this morning.

"Nasty flowers, aren't they?" the Fat Lady asked politely, as she swung open. "I avoid them as much as possible."

"Me too," I told her happily, surprised at how pleasant a mood she was in today. I guess without all the constant foot traffic of the other Gryffindors, she was in better spirits. Swinging open and closed a hundred times a day must have been pretty tiring for her.

I headed for my dormitory planning on changing into something warmer and dryer for dinner when I stopped dead in my tracks. There was someone I recognized sitting comfortable in one of the armchairs by the fire, lazily flipping through a copy of the Daily Prophet.

"Sirius?" I called out in surprise.

He looked up immediately, shock crossing his face. He clearly hadn't been expecting anyone else to be here. He blinked at me.

"Meadowes?" he asked, slightly confused. "What in Merlin's name are _you_ doing here? Don't you know the train left this morning?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh, has it?" I asked sarcastically, "Well in that case, I guess I'm stuck here."

Sirius didn't look amused, he still seemed genuinely confused. "You stayed?" he asked quietly, "Even with everything going on in Hogsmeade?"

That surprised me. Sirius didn't seem like the type to worry about things like that. He brazenly charged into the Forbidden Forrest and told off centaurs.

I shrugged. "Come on, you and I both know there's nowhere safer than Hogwarts. I'd like to see a death eater try and get through Dumbledore."

Sirius blinked. "Still? Didn't your family want you to come home? What about that aunt you live with?"

I shuffled uncomfortably, feeling the same residual guilt I always felt when confronted with the lie I had told so many times. It felt like a thick black vine in my chest, wrapping tightly around my lungs and heart every time I repeated the fabrication.

"She's traveling," I told him quickly, and before he could ask any more questions about my fictional aunt, I added. "What about you? Didn't _your_ family want you home?"

Sirius snorted, looking like I had told the most hilarious joke he'd ever heard. "Actually, I think they'd much prefer it if I don't come home. They have their perfect little Regulus." He chucked the daily prophet onto the coffee table beside him. "And anyway, it's more of a holiday for me if they aren't around."

I had to admire the way Sirius aired his dirty laundry with his family so casually, like he was just telling me what he had for breakfast. I could never do that. I still struggled with even talking to my friends about it.

"So, which one of your dorm mates stayed with you?" Sirius asked. "Merlin, I hope it's Marlene. I hear enough about Lily from James already."

His gaze drifted over to the girl's dormitory, clearly waiting for one of my friends to skip down the staircase.

I shook my head. "None of them, actually. It's just me."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Then it looks like it's just you and me. Well you me and that tiny little first year I saw earlier, but really who counts first years anyway?"

"James didn't stay?" I asked him curiously. I could hardly imagine a world where Sirius stayed at Hogwarts by himself without any of the other Marauders. If he did, he must really not want to be around his family.

Sirius shook his head. "Nope. Like the rest of our dormitory, Prongs is one of those lucky gits whose family actually loves and misses him, so I let him go on without me."

I blinked, that was rather selfless of him. I realized it was what I had done too. Sirius and I were more alike than I thought.

Suddenly I was faced with the realization that it would be two weeks of just Sirius and I in the castle, along with whatever other poor souls had remained behind. It was strange, but I found the idea oddly comforting.

"I'm starving," Sirius said throwing his legs over the chair so he could stand, "come on, Meadowes. Let's go get something to eat."

I left my things on the coffee table in front of the couch and followed Sirius back out of the Common Room.

The castle was quieter than I had ever heard it before, except for at night. I walked alongside Sirius towards the Great Hall, letting my eyes roam over the beautiful decorations that adorned the castle walls. It was decorated like a postcard, with holly and mistletoe in every corner. Yards of garland stretched across every wall, with hanging baubles and ornaments sparkling past the windows. I didn't think I'd ever see anything more beautiful that Christmas at Hogwarts.

"Weird," Sirius said shaking his head as we stopped in the entrance hall. The house tables were still set for dinner but it looked strange with so few people scattered among them. The Ravenclaw table had two six years, Cessa Urquart and Albert Runcorn both of who were sitting alone and reading. At the Hufflepuff table, sixth year Tydie Fuller was making casual conversation with Amy Bentworth, until Amy noticed Sirius and a smile crossed her face as she watched him over Tydie's shoulder. The tiny first year Gryffindor, Fillmore was sitting at the Hufflepuff table, talking to a wide eyed Hufflepuff 1st year I didn't know.

"Ew," Sirius wrinkled his nose, "Snivellus is here."

He was looking at the Slytherin table, where Severus sat beside Silas Travers and Thomas Nott, looking very displeased for with the company. A third year Slytherin girl sat with them too, but even she looked happier than Severus.

"Lily says he always stays," I told Sirius, watching Severus stare at his plate miserably.

"Somehow, I don't find it shocking that nobody wants _him_ home for the holidays," Sirius said with a considerable amount of disgust.

I didn't like Severus much either, but I felt an upsurge of pity for him in that moment. I didn't have anyone who wanted me home either. And as terrible as he was, Sirius was looking at Severus like he was something he had found on the bottom of his shoe.

Severus looked up at Sirius and I then, and sneered. He was way too far away to have heard a word of what we said, but it didn't matter. His look was cold and murderous. It was clear how much he despised the both of us, whether I was friends with Lily or not.

"No other fifth years stayed. With no witnesses, it'll be easier to get the better of him," Sirius said darkly, "I'm thinking we sneak into their dorms while he's sleeping and conjure his bed to the Black lake."

"We?" I asked him, with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, _we_. James isn't here so I'll need to make you an honorary Marauder for the time being, so you can help with the calculated mischief."

I almost snorted. I had learned my lesson when it came to doing things with the Marauders. Somehow I knew the punishment for almost drowning Severus had to be more than two weeks of detention.

I shook my head. "Not going to happen," I told Sirius taking a seat down at the Gryffindor table. Sirius followed.

I scooped a helping of potatoes on my plate. All of the food smelled exceptionally delicious tonight, and I wondered if it was because they had so few students to cook for.

"Even if I beg?" Sirius asked.

"Especially not if you beg," I told him.

Sirius grinned mischievously. "I doubt that's true. I've yet to meet a woman who can resist me when I'm on my knees."

I almost choked on my pumpkin juice at his words. Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. His face fell when he looked past my shoulder.

"What?" I asked.

Sirius shook his head. "That barmy bird Amy Bentworth is staring at me again. At first, I found it flattering. At this point, I'm convinced she's going to slip me a love potion."

"I wouldn't discount it. She's mad."

Sirius sighed. "Tell me about it. Doesn't matter how many girls I sleep with, she doesn't get the hint."

He actually looked a bit frightened when he looked at her. It was a humbling expression to see on his face.

"Poor girl," I said shaking my head and taking a bite of food. "Imagine waking up every morning and thinking about _you._ "

"You're so very cruel to me," Sirius said holding his hand over his heart. He pretended to fall lifeless onto the table, looking displeased when it didn't yield a laugh.

"I wish Peter were here," he said wistfully. "he would have wet himself over that one."

I rolled my eyes. "I am surprised you haven't shagged her yet," I told him honestly, bringing the conversation back to Amy. "You're not exactly one for turning people down."

"Are you calling me a slag, Meadowes?"

"You said it, not me."

Sirius and I finished the meal talking about some of the more ridiculous things Amy Bentworth had done or said during the years, and it surprisingly had me laughing the entire time. It was a lot like our tutoring sessions, just without the homework. We seemed to be the only people in the Great Hall, other than the professors, who actually enjoyed their meal. The rest of the students talked quietly or kept to themselves, they didn't have any friends left in their houses.

When dinner was over, we headed back to the Common Room and sat on the couch, talking for another few hours. It was strange how easily Sirius and I got on. I knew we had been becoming closer the last few months, but this was different. This felt like talking to a friend, and it was odd. I listened carefully as Sirius told a very animated story about the first time they had visited Peter's moms house in a muggle neighborhood.

"And muggles," Sirius said excitedly, "They have these things, that are amazing. They're motorized bikes and they get you from place to place, granted they're way slower than apparating but they're bloody brilliant. I want to get one."

"I've seen a motorbike, Sirius," I said chuckling at how enthusiastic he was about it. "I see them out the window, a hundred times a day in the summer."

Sirius blinked at me, "You do? How?"

My mouth fell open slightly and I closed it before Sirius could notice. "At my Aunt's house," I added quickly.

I wanted to chide myself. I'd only spent half a day with Sirius so far and twice had to lie about my home. I hoped to Merlin this wasn't becoming a pattern.

Sirius sighed. "You're so lucky. I love them. Remus got me a magazine full of them for Christmas last year. They had posters too. I put them on my wall at home with a permanent sticking charm. Made my mother scream for days, but she couldn't get them off no matter how hard she tried."

"Bet that made her like you even more," I teased.

Sirius grinned. "Well, they already think I'm the biggest blood traitor in Black History, so I figured what's the harm? Actually, they think Andromeda is, but I'm a close second."

Andromeda Black. I vaguely remembered her from when we were younger. Narcissa's older sister. I remembered what happened with her.

"Your cousin Andromeda," I started, "That's the one who- "

Sirius nodded before I even finished my thought. "Ran away with a muggleborn Hufflepuff? Yup. That's the one. It was weird too, because Andromeda was always the quiet, well-behaved one. They expected me to do something like that. Not her." Sirius chuckled. "She's pretty great actually. By far my favorite cousin."

"I liked her," I remembered. "She was nice to Gryffindors. Nothing like Bellatrix."

Sirius nodded. "They may have looked alike but they couldn't be any more different. For starters, Bellatrix is a tyrannical bitch."

"She makes Rabastan look like Reggie Cattermole," I agreed.

Something flashed across Sirius' eyes. "You know, I think I had it wrong last time you told me about him," he said angrily. "What we saw the other day in Hogsmeade. That wasn't him trying to get under the skin of _Don't'kiss Meadnos_ or a romp in the four poster _._ "

I scowled. "Thanks for reminding me about that charming nickname," I said slightly annoyed.

Sirius ignored me. "That was something different, Meadowes. It goes deeper than that. It's like he really wants to scare you."

I knew Rabastan's motivations had always been a little more sinister than teasing, but I didn't know exactly how deep or dangerous they were. I hoped it was nothing more than an arrogant Slytherin using all of his influence to intimidate someone who bothered him, because if it was anything else, I didn't even know how to begin to handle it. There were some things so dark even a stinging jinx wouldn't help.

"I try not to let Rabastan bother me," I told Sirius, leaning against the armrest of the couch. "He's not worth the time."

Sirius scowled. "All those Slytherins they're all the same. Brought up in families where they're taught that they're royalty and everyone else is scum. And then they wonder why they grow up to be Death Eaters?"

He wasn't wrong. My mum's family was exactly like Rabastan's. My mum hadn't told me much about her family growing up. She always I was too young to understand why we didn't see my grandparents or my uncles. I knew later, after she died that it was because of her and my father. She had rebelled. Married who she wanted. She spent her whole lifetime raging against their principles, kind of like Sirius, come to think of it.

I could feel the usual cold, pit of grief creeping into my stomach as I pictured my parents faces, and then faces of the Greengrass family. The one's I only barely remembered from photos. I knew I should go upstairs to the dormitory before I started to cry. The watch on Sirius' wrist said it was well past midnight anyway.

I faked a yawn and stretched my arms above my head. "I think I'm going to turn in, I'm exhausted."

Sirius shook his head, "Lightweight."

"Goodnight, Sirius."

I took the stairs four at a time and barely closed the door to the dormitory before I felt the tears rise in my eyes. The dormitory looked sad and empty without my friends. I curled up on my bed and reached for my trunk, unearthing something I had avoided touching for half a year.

Buried underneath a set of robes I had outgrown and The Standard Book of Spells Grade 4, was a sterling silver frame. Inside was a photo of both of my parents on their wedding day.

It had been ages since I looked at it. I thought it would hurt too much to have it around, but now I knew how ridiculous that was. I cleared a spot on my nightstand, and nestled the frame between my wand and my scarf.

If I kept the photo hidden, Aubleus won. I would keep it out, a reminder of what ignorance and bigotry had stolen from me.

I woke up early the next morning. I wasn't sure I was going too without Lily's helpful prodding that usually accompanied me in the morning. The window panes were already frosted from the cold, so I dressed in my warmest jeans and sweater.

By the time I got down to the Great Hall only half the students who stayed were there. I didn't see Severus or Sirius anywhere, and Amy Bentworth was missing too. The tiny first year Gryffindor was eating a bowl of porridge and staring at me with wide eyes as I slowly ate the eggs in front of me.

By the time I made it back to the Common Room, I was thinking today might be the day I started making study schedules for O. . The exams were approaching faster than I had realized and if I wanted to do well, and I _had_ to do well, then I really needed to get organized about it. I had just convinced myself to go upstairs and fetch my Defense Against the Dark Arts book when Sirius almost barreled into me in front of the girl's staircase.

"Hey, Meadowes," Sirius said excitedly. He was hiding something behind his back with both hands, and had a casual excitement written across his face. "What are _you_ doing today?"

I raised an eyebrow. " _Why?_ "

Sirius sighed, "Must you always be so cautious? Would it kill you to just once be spontaneous?"

"Last time I was spontaneous with you a centaur almost killed you."

"Must you always harp on that? It was fun before that."

Sirius pulled what he was hiding out from behind his back. It was his broomstick. My jaw almost dropped when I saw it up-close. It was a 75' Meteoroid, brand new. I had spent half my Diagon Alley trip last year with my nose pressed up against the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies looking at that exact broomstick. It took everything in me not to drop a sack of galleons on it.

"Merlin, that's beautiful," I said reaching out to stroke the handle. "How long have you had it?"

Sirius grinned, knowing he had found my weakness. "I got it over the summer. Present from my Uncle Alphard."

"No wonder you flew so fast in the last game," I said shaking my head, "You kept up with a whole team of them."

"Noticed the most recent Black donation to Slytherin House, did you?" Sirius asked rolling his eyes. "The second dear old Mum and Dad heard I got one, they bought little Reg's team a whole set."

"Figures. Doubt they would be able to hold a candle to our team without them," I said shaking my head.

Sirius leaned against the wall. "So, if you're really that fascinated by my broom, I was thinking about going out to practice for a little while on the pitch, and I need someone to throw the quaffle around and pretend it's a bludger."

Only now did I see the beaters bat slung on Sirius' hip. He leaned the broomstick against the wall and gathered his hair into a low bun.

"Why not use real bludgers?"

Sirius sighed softly. "Because last time I did, a stray got away and broke an entire window in the astronomy tower and McGonagall threatened my life." I chuckled before I could stop myself and Sirius frowned.

"So, do you want to come out and practice?" Sirius asked, twirling the broom back and forth in his hands.

I wanted too. I hadn't flown on a broom since first year. There wasn't a lot of opportunity when I spent all of my time with muggles or at Lily's house. The idea was appealing.

"I don't have a broom," I told him honestly.

Sirius waved me off. "I have keys to the team closet. You can borrow one of the school brooms."

I could feel the excitement bubbling up inside of me, as I nodded and told Sirius I had to go and change into something warmer. I switched out my sneakers for leather boots and added a sweatshirt. As I skipped back down the stairs, I tossed my hair into a high ponytail.

Sirius and I didn't see any other students as we headed down to the pitch, ignoring the cold that kept biting at my cheeks.

I helped Sirius dig the Quidditch balls out onto the pitch, and picked out one of the school brooms to fly on the ground.

Sirius only took out the Quaffle. The bludgers racked back and forth, shaking the entire trunk as Sirius and I mounted our brooms. Sirius rose into the sky immediately, clutching his bat in one hand and the quaffle in the other.

I took my time rising into the air. The second I had sat down on the broom I felt the familiar stirring of happiness inside of my chest. I rose hundreds of feet in the air and flew around the pitch starting slow and then testing the broom to see how fast it would go.

After a minute, I could hear Sirius chuckling below me and I blushed, dropping down to where his broom was waiting.

"Having fun?" he asked, tossing the quaffle into the air and catching it effortlessly.

I nodded excitedly. "I haven't been on a broom in ages."

I reached for the quaffle and Sirius tossed it to me quickly. It had a tricky spin on it and it flew five feet to the right of me. I dove for it, leaning down on the broom to speed forward.

I barely caught it, my fingertips gripped it and yanked it towards me, while I spun the broom back towards Sirius, who stared back at me a little impressed.

"That was a pretty decent catch, Meadowes," he said evenly. "Have you been flying in your free time?"

I shook my head. "No, I wish. I haven't ridden since first year."

Sirius looked shocked for a moment and I tossed him back the quaffle.

We went back and forth like that for a while. I would toss the quaffle at Sirius, and wait for him to hit it full force with his beater bat. Every time he did, I would go chasing after it on the broom and do my best to catch it. To my delight, I managed to catch it almost every time. Each time I did, Sirius would stare at me dumbfounded.

We stayed like that for hours. Flying was exhilarating, even despite the frigid air. After a while we noticed the two tiny first years, one Gryffindor and one Hufflepuff sitting in the stands watching us, with wide eyes and smiles. We could have been out there until dinner. Sirius was a fantastic beater. It didn't matter how difficult the throw was, he would always hit the quaffle. It made me wonder if he ever practiced with Regulus in the summer, because they both seemed to be incredibly fast fliers.

I tossed the quaffle at Sirius again and he hit it with the bat so hard a deafening crack echoed through the pitch. The two first years clapped loudly and I tore off after the quaffle at full speed. It didn't make nervous going that fast. It was more exhilarating than anything else. I managed to catch the quaffle at the last second, tucking it under my arm and speeding towards one of the goalposts. Out of curiosity I aimed for the middle post and sent the quaffle soaring. I grinned as it effortlessly made it through the loop. I dropped down to catch it again before it hit the ground.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius said flying towards me, looking absolutely floored. "What did you do _summon_ the quaffle?"

I beamed as I tossed the quaffle from hand to hand. It had been a pretty good catch, but most of it had just been luck.

"It was a lucky catch," I told him, shaking my head. My hair was flying around my face, full pieces hanging out my ponytail. It was still some of the most fun I had ever had, but I didn't want Sirius attributing it anything more.

He wouldn't let it go. "If you could do _that_ , why haven't you ever tried out for the house team?" he pressed. "You're a natural chaser."

I felt my cheeks turn a little pink, something that had nothing to do with the chilly wind in the air.

I had loved to fly in first year, and my love of Quidditch had probably developed in the womb, but I never pursued the team out of fear. Fear of having too much attention placed on me after my parent's death. Fear of sucking and never being able to practice because of where I lived in the summer. I had never even allowed myself to consider the idea.

"I appreciate the compliments but I've never even played a real game before," I told him.

Sirius shook his head, and tossed the quaffle at me full force. I caught in my right hand and managed to stay on the broom while it spun. When I righted myself, Sirius gave me a knowing look, as if it had proved his point.

"You need to try out next year," Sirius said firmly, grasping his broom handle with one hand and tossing the beaters bat with the other. "We need better chasers. James is excellent but the other two are leaving next year."

As appealing as the idea did sound, I knew there was no way I would ever go for it. Out of practice wasn't even the right word to describe me. I had never had the practice to begin with. I could barely imagine the idea of James Potter and Landon McKinnon laughing me off the pitch if I showed up to tryouts.

"I don't know Sirius," I said unsure, "I think I'd prefer just watching Quidditch."

Sirius shook his head in disbelief. "You're bloody mad, Meadowes. You know that?"

We stayed out on the pitch for another two hours, where Sirius played keeper and I, chaser. Every time I got the quaffle past him, he went on a long-winded rant about how chasers help win the game until I eventually threatened to leave the pitch. After a while we abandoned the practice altogether, and just rode the brooms around the pitch. Sirius let me try out his broom, which made the school broom feel like a pile of twigs caught in the wind. We stayed out there until the cold bit our noses and our stomachs groaned in protest.

Pink-cheeked, sweaty and hair askew, I followed Sirius back to the castle with a wide smile across my face. Being out on the pitch had been some of the most fun I had had in weeks, and I was still exhilarated from it.

"I'm just saying anyone who enjoys the pitch that much should be out on the field during matches," Sirius said cheekily as strutted down the corridor towards the Great Hall for lunch.

I shook my head, laughing as we walked. "You're unbelievable."

Sirius grinned. "I think you'll find that when I want something, Meadowes. I usually get it."

We rounded the corner quickly and almost bumped straight into two Slytherins. Thomas Nott's upper lip curled over his teeth as he stared at us, "Ugh. Gryffindors."

My hand flew to the wand in my boot without thinking. I always had been a draw my wand before thinking kind of person. Especially when it came to Slytherins. Sirius didn't look nearly as nervous as I did. Instead he looked entertained, as if this was a solution to some kind of boredom he had been feeling.

Silas Travers sneered at our mud and dirt covered clothes, an unpleasant smile forming on his overly round teeth.

"Had to take a girl out to the pitch with you even on break?" Silas snorted at Sirius, flashing his set of yellowed uneven teeth. "You lot must really be ashamed about that embarrassing loss you suffered."

Sirius pursed his full lips, his eyes remaining hard and steely. "Hardly. Gryffindors don't have to resort to attacking a girl to win a match. Have you seen Hestia's nose lately? Even bruised it's still better looking than yours."

I had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep from snorting. Silas's nose was rather large and uneven. Leave it to Sirius to be the only person ballsy enough to make a joke out of it.

Silas's eyes narrowed. "Haven't you dug yourself a large enough hole in Slytherin, Black?" he asked. "From what Regulus tells me, even mummy and daddy have made enemies of you. And still you make more."

I saw a tiny bit of anger flash across Sirius' eyes as his wand hand slipped into his pocket, and closed around the wand, ready in case of the situation escalating. His eyes were locked on Travers', his mouth turning into a snarl. Travers looked thrilled.

I knew it was my turn to end the situation before it got worse. I wrapped my hand around Sirius' forearm and pulled him away towards the Great Hall.

"This isn't the battle to choose, Sirius," I reminded him, trying to drag him away from the two Slytherins.

Sirius cast one dirtier look at the Travers and then stomped off towards the Great Hall, with me at his heels. As I caught up with him, I had a sinking feeling that this wouldn't be the last interaction we had with the Slytherins during the holiday.

The holiday passed by very quickly. Sirius and I spent almost every day until Christmas together. Spending most days outside on the Quidditch pitch, and only coming inside when we got too hungry or too cold.

It was mystifying how well Sirius and I seemed to be getting along. We had spent almost every second we weren't sleeping, together. Talking in the Common Room, flying on the pitch, or at meal times, it didn't matter. We were enjoying each other's company. We talked about everything, like it was Lily or Marlene sitting across from me.

Shocking as it seemed, Sirius Black had become something I never thought even remotely possible. Something that if I had been told on the Hogwarts Express, I would have laughed at.

Sirius Black had become my friend, a thought that was both horrifying and exciting all at the same time.

By the time Christmas Morning came around, I was in such a fantastic mood from the last few days I had hardly had time to think about how much I missed parents. That is, until I woke up to the pile of presents at the end of my bed. It was hard to ignore it then as ten happy Christmases with my parents flashed through my head.

Being completely alone in the dormitory, didn't seem like a very festive way to spend the holiday, so I wrapped myself in my dressing gown and scooped my presents into my arms. I'd rather open them in front of the Christmas tree in the Common Room, beside the warm glow of the fireplace. That just felt more christmassey to me.

There was nobody else in the Common Room when I plopped down in front of the Christmas Tree, so I spread all of my presents out and opened them slowly. Mary and Lily had chimed together and bought me a beautiful set of leather-bound charms books that were so interesting it took every ounce of self-control I had not to flip through them right then and there.

I opened the present from Marlene and found a beautiful scarlet knit sweater that was so soft I I wanted to rub it all across my face.

I was just about to open the present from Hagrid when I heard the sound of heavy leather boots slamming down the boy's staircase, as Sirius appeared in the doorway, also carrying an armload of unopened packages. He was dressed in a sweater and jeans and flashed me a cocky smile.

"Nice pajamas, Meadowes" he winked, plopping down on the carpet beside me. "Are those hippogriffs on your pants?" He reached out to grab the bottom of the pajama pants and I smacked his hand away while he snickered.

"If I had known we were dressing this casual, I wouldn't have put on pants," he told me cheekily, a mischievous grin stretching across his face. "Such a waste."

"I didn't know you were going to be here," I told him, shaking my head in annoyance.

"Oh, I don't doubt it. I'd hope if you were going to seduce me with your night clothes they wouldn't be patterned with magical creatures."

I rolled my eyes. "I was looking forward to the presents, Sirius. I wasn't too concerned with whether or not my pajama pants would please _you_."

"Well rest-assured, they _do_."

I cracked a smile and reached for my present from Hagrid, slowly unwrapping a miniature leather backpack that only opened when I placed my wand directly on the lock.

"Handy," I said as I examined it carefully. No matter what I tried to do only my wand would open it, and I couldn't help but think about helpful that would be, especially during the summer.

"Who's that from?" Sirius asked, stuffing a chocolate from a box he just unwrapped into his mouth.

"Hagrid," I told him, mentally reminding myself to send him a thank-you note later. "Cool, isn't it?"

I kept playing with the backpack, fascinated by it, while Sirius watched an unwrapped another box of Hogsmeade treats, and a Quidditch book.

"I didn't know you and Hagrid were close," Sirius said through a mouthful of chocolate frog.

I felt my cheeks burn again. How was it that Sirius always asked the exact questions that filled my chest with icy dread?

I gave a gentle nod. "We are. We have tea a lot."

Sirius shrugged and turned back to his presents, otherwise unconcerned, and I took a deep breath.

"Bloody hell," Sirius swore holding up an unwrapped present. It was a sweater, large and yellow, with a floppy collar, decorated with black stripes. "Who hates me this much?"

A note had to fallen to the ground beside it. I gingerly picked it up and read it carefully.

 _With love, Amy Bentworth_

Sirius scowled as I handed it to him. "This bird is crazy."

"I think you should wear it to Christmas dinner," I told him, giggling. "It would make her year." Sirius ignored me and turned back to his presents, muttering something about _love potions_ and _obsession_.

Sirius picked up his smallest, poorly wrapped brown package and frowned at it dramatically. It was tiny enough to fit in the palm of his hand, and looked like it had been wrapped by an infant.

"Who's that from?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow.

Sirius looked at the tag and then raised his eyebrows, as his face filled with sudden understanding. "Ah, it's from my parents."

Sirius shook the present. "It's tiny. It must be their hopes for my future."

I laughed so hard that I snorted, and Sirius flashed me a wide smile. He carefully unwrapped the present and pulled out a folded pamphlet called _The Dangers of Marrying Mudbloods, Half-Bloods and Squibs._

"Wonderful," Sirius said dropping the pamphlet with an eye roll.

I could hardly believe what I was seeing and picked the pamphlet up with a sick pit in my stomach. The pamphlet was full of testimonials of Purebloods who had 'ruined' their lives by choosing partners with different blood status. It was disgusting.

"Your parents gave you this as a Christmas present?" I asked in disbelief. "What did they give you last year?"

Sirius looked me directly in the eye and answered, "A lecture."

That time, I laughed so hard I through my head back in laughter. Sirius had a fantastic way of making even the most depressing statement sound hilarious.

After we finished opening our presents, I went upstairs to put on real clothing, and we spent the rest of the afternoon out on the grounds. It was cold but no longer snowing and it was fun to sit on the hill and watch the Giant Squid shiver.

By the time dinner rolled around, we were starving and I made sure to brush my hair and change into my new sweater. I was glad I did when we walked into the Great Hall and found a much fancier scene than we were expecting.

Someone, presumably Hagrid, had filled the Great Hall with twelve gargantuan Christmas trees decorated with tinsel, garland and ornaments. Ice sculptures of the four founders stood in every corner watching over the entire scene.

Snowflakes were suspended from the ceiling sparkling brightly and throwing sharp crystalline images onto the wall. Tiny golden fairies floated past the ghosts, all of whom were in attendance, and sang.

The most noticeable and surprising part of the entire thing was that the house tables had been removed and replaced with a large circular table, surrounded by twenty-four ornate chairs.

The entire staff, including Hagrid and Filch, were seated at the table, and the other students were sitting there too. Each of the professors were dressed nicely in fancy dress robes and matching hats or pins. The table was covered with a feast, complete with goose and a ham.

Sirius and I exchanged a look as we entered the hall and took the two remaining seats. Everyone else seemed thrilled or a little nervous with the seating arrangement. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were happily chatting away with Professors Flitwick and Tellweather, and most of the Slytherins were talking too. The two first years were loving the setup, whispering to one another with wide smiles. Except Severus, he looked miserable again, and even more miserable when he spotted us.

"I thought since there were only a few of us here, we may as well have a nice informal Christmas feast together," Dumbledore said joyously. "Gives us all a chance to chat together, happily"

He seemed to be right about the happy part. Each of the Professors seemed to be in excellent spirits. It looked as if Professor Sprout and Sinistra had already started on their wine, and Professor Flitwick was laughing so hard at something he slammed his tiny hand down on the table.

Hagrid gave me a wide smile across the table and I returned it happily. The table was covered with a delicious assortment of food, and as soon as Dumbledore reached for a sliver of cake, everyone began to serve themselves. It was a joyful meal, where everyone ate and talked, and for a while it was easy to forget why there were so few of us here and simply enjoy the holiday.

"Mr. Runcorn, you simply must try the treacle tart, it's wonderful," Dumbledore urged Albert. The sixth year looked so delighted at the Headmasters words, he served himself two pieces.

As soon as food was served, the conversation began and everyone joined in.

Dumbledore spent half the meal enjoying only the sweets and offering as many as he could to whichever one of his students didn't have a mouthful of food at the time, while Professor Flitwick told every joke he could think of.

I spent most of the meal talking to Professor McGonagall and Hagrid about O.W.L.'s over the pudding, while Sirius argued lightheartedly with Slughorn over the merits of Slytherin vs. Gryffindor.

"Honestly Professor, no disrespect but a snake? Could you have a more distrustful animal? How could anyone be expected to trust you?"

Slughorn chuckled at Sirius, patting his robust stomach while he did. "You are so unlike your brother. Quite the silver-tongue on you boy."

McGonagall flashed a disapproving look at the Potions Master and then turned back to me.

"You've always had strong wand work, Ms. Meadowes," she continued. "Always fantastic marks in Transfiguration, Charms and Defense. The real tough questions of the exams always occur in History of Magic and Potions. Those have the most information to remember-"

A large crack echoed through the Great Hall, and the tiny Hufflepuff first year looked stunned as a wizard cracker lay open in her hands, with a Gobstones game in its place.

"Excellent!" Silas said reaching for one of the wizard crackers from the pile in the middle of the table.

Everyone followed suit and soon the room echoed with cracks as everyone cracked open their wizard crackers and admired the presents they got.

I ended up with a broom servicing kit that I traded to Sirius for a periwinkle, sparkling witches hat. When I placed it on top of my head, Professor Sprout leaned across the table and drunkenly told me it looked absolutely lovely.

"You look absolutely mad," Sirius chuckled under his breath. "Sprout is just trying to butter you up."

"A risk I'm willing to take," I told him, having another bit of the apple cake Dumbledore offered me.

By the time we finished the food, everyone was so stuffed no one knew what to do with themselves. We just sat happily at the table until Dumbledore raised his glass.

"I'd like to wish each and every one of you a Happy Christmas," Dumbledore said quietly. "Thank you for the wonderful meal and conversation. I hope each and every one of you finish off your Christmas with happy memories. I will let you go and find your warm beds. Good night everyone."

With his blessing, every one of the remaining students got up from the chairs and wished their Professors a good night.

Sirius and I walked slowly back to the Common Room. I didn't know where the tiny first year was but he certainly wasn't around us.

"Odd sitting so close to the Professors huh?" I asked as we approached Gryffindor Tower.

Sirius gave an exasperated nod. "I was about to ready to strangle Slughorn, but Dumbledore was a laugh. Man's off his rocker, and still manages to be the most interesting person in the room."

The Fat Lady was getting drunk with her friend Violet when we got to her portrait and it took several rounds of prodding before she let us back into the Common Room.

The Fireplace was lit and warm when we got back and I dropped down on the plush couch in front of it. Sirius joined me, watching the fire crackle in even, comforting strokes. I kicked my boots off and buried my feet under my legs for warmth.

I was overwhelmed with how nice Christmas dinner had been. I hadn't had a Christmas that nice since my family was alive.

Sirius let his head drop backward on the back of the couch and kicked his feet onto the coffee table.

"You know, I'm really glad I decided to stay here this year," Sirius said softly, "This has been a hell of a lot more fun than Christmas at the Black home."

I turned back to face him, resting my head on my forearm. Sirius' face was more blank and even than I had ever seen it. Thoughtful, almost with a trace of sadness that looked familiar to me.

"Is it really that bad there?" I asked him quietly. I didn't want to pry, but Sirius never seemed to have a problem discussing anything personal. But for fun-loving, care-free Sirius to be affected by something, I knew it had to be dark and sinister.

Sirius snorted. "It makes double potions with the Slytherins, look like a vacation in Majorca."

He sighed quietly. "It would be one thing if they were just cruel but that combined with their blood-purity, all-magic dragon dung? They're absolutely heinous," he said softly.

I watched as the anger crossed his face for a moment. The color and excitement that was there a moment ago disappeared.

Sirius shook his head, growing angrier by the second. "I'm proud I'm not like them. You should hear the things they say about me, and Gryffindor and the rest of us blood-traitors. Each one worse than the last. With the things they say about me, I'm surprised they haven't kicked me out yet. I know they want too, so they can just have perfect little Regulus. You know my own mum disinvited me from Christmas dinner? It wouldn't matter whether I wanted to go or not, Walburga Black decided I wasn't worthy of being part of the family this year."

Sirius looked angry and stared forward at the wall, his fists balling at his sides as he stared forward.

I could see how conflicted he was; between the disgust he felt toward his family and the shame of the fact that they didn't want him home. I'd never seen him like this before. He looked blank, almost empty.

"Sirius," I started but he raised a lazy hand.

"You don't have to pity me, Meadowes," Sirius said. "I'd hate to shatter the image of bravery and attractiveness you've got in your head for me." He only managed to smile at the corners of his mouth, like it was still painful.

I felt an upsurge of emotion for him then. He may still have parents, but his situation was no different than mine. Unwanted by the very people who should want him most. He reminded me of my mum. Born into a pureblood family and doing everything they could do challenge what they believed in. I knew what I had to tell him.

"Pity you?" I asked in disbelief, my voice cracking. "I don't pity you, Sirius. How can I, when I'm in the same position?"

Sirius eyed me strangely. "What do you mean?"

I turned to him, so that I could look him directly in the eyes. Every ounce of me screamed in protest as I opened my mouth to say what I needed too.

"No one in my family wanted me either. When my parents died, every single one of their family was so repulsed by my dirty blood, that they let me go straight to a muggle orphanage instead. I understand what it's like to not be wanted by family."

Sirius blinked in surprise. "What do you mean, an orphanage?" he asked quickly. "What about the Aunt you live with?"

I shook my head softly. "She doesn't exist. It was the lie that Dumbledore and I came up with to spare the harassment from the Slytherins."

Sirius stared at me dumbfounded, his mouth hung open, while he slowly blinked. It took him almost a full minute of that before he spoke again.

"So, every summer?" he said quietly. "You go off and live in a muggle orphanage?"

I nodded and turned forward to watch the fire so I didn't have to the look on his face. The sad, pitiful look that the professors gave me every time my unfortunate situation came up.

"Hell, Meadowes," Sirius said shaking his head "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

I didn't have to see his face to know what it looked like. I could hear it in his voice.

"Nobody does besides the Professors and my friends," I told him firmly, "and I'd appreciate it stay that way."

Sirius frowned at me and nodded his head eagerly. "I can't believe I never knew that," He said shaking his head. "I mean I knew your mum and dad were dead, and I knew they thought it was your uncle, but an orphanage? They really sent you there? What about your grandparents?"

I gave him a knowing look. "You mean the people who raised my parent's killer?" I asked him, shaking my head. "They could care less about their blood-traitor daughter's, _half-blood_ abomination. I ruined the Greengrass name."

Sirius shook his head. "Merlin, I thought I had it bad, but I still have Uncle Alphard and Andromeda."

"I thought we said no pity," I warned, making sure I raised one of my eyebrows at him.

."Touché, Meadowes," Sirius said, the smile on his face widening as he looked at me. "You know I think I may actually like you more now that I know you have a fucked-up family too."

I cracked a tiny smile. "Dumbledore told me it builds character."

"Builds character?" Sirius laughed. "That's a nice spin on it, isn't it?"

He stretched his arms behind the couch and turned to look at me. "You know I should have known there was something else going on with you, Meadowes. You're too complicated not to have some sort of gritty back story."

"Isn't the murder of my parents enough of a gritty back story?"

Sirius shook his head confidently "Almost. But I think it's that touch of rebellion and familial hatred that makes you the way you are, like me."  
"Like you?" I asked him, resting my head on my hand.

Sirius nodded, "You know? Tragically fascinating, Pureblood good-looks with the blood traitor spirit," he corrected.

I smiled, stifling a laugh. "Just so you know, I technically am not a pureblood or a blood-traitor," I corrected.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're something else, Meadowes. I call you fit and spunky and you _correct_ me?"

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't."

"And then where would we be?"

Sirius cracked a smile, his eye brows raised suggestively as he leaned towards me slightly. For a second I thought I imagined it, but then I saw his head lean back towards me again, moving closer. Only a few inches from my face. I didn't have time to feel anything other than the racing of my heart in my chest.

 _Click!_

The portrait hole swung open and the tiny first year stumbled into the Common Room, still smiling from whatever he had been doing before, distracting Sirius and I as our heads swiveled towards him.

The first year noticed us watching him and quickly scrambled back up to his dormitory without another word. When he was gone Sirius turned back to me, now a normal distance away.

"Up for a game of wizard's chess?" Sirius asked quickly, as If nothing had almost happened a second ago.

I must have imagined it. Probably because I was emotional and shared too much with him tonight. That's definitely what it had to have been.

I flashed Sirius a smile. "You're on, Black."

We played three rounds of wizards chess and then I went to bed.


	12. The Birth of the Flower

**Authors Note: Sorry for the long update time, you guys. It will not happen again, but there was a Harry Potter movie marathon at Cinemark the same week classes began for me, so you know, Things happen. Also, there's not a ton of Sirius and Doe in this chapter, but trust me the next one if FULL of them, so hang on. Thanks, and dont forget to review. :)**

12

The Birth of the Flower

The rest of winter break passed without incident, and was just as fun as the first part. Sirius and I mostly hung out in the Common Room and did our best to avoid the Slytherins as best we could. Neither one of us had brought up anything that we had talked about on Christmas night. It had been a lot to process emotionally for the both of us. It wasn't easy talking about how troubled your family was, even to friends. I did notice that after our admissions, Sirius and I seemed even closer than we had been before.

We had actually become good friends. I barely sensed a difference between the way we interacted and the way I did with Lily, except for the fact that Lily didn't relish in sexual innuendo like Sirius seemed too.

That was how I was positive I had imagined whatever I had thought Sirius was going to do on Christmas night. I must have been tired and emotionally drained, because the next morning the idea seemed ridiculous.

We had spent the next week together, and nothing even remotely similar had happened. Sirius and I were nothing more than good friends, and I was positive about that.

I did wonder if our newfound friendship would last when the castle was full again, and our other friends returned to Gryffindor tower. It was easy to spend every moment together when there was no one else around. I supposed I couldn't really blame Sirius if we didn't continue after the Marauders came back. After all, I missed my own friends desperately.

By the time the train arrived back to the castle, I was so excited I was about to jump out of my own skin. After a lazy breakfast of casual conversation with Sirius in the Great Hall, I had waited in the entrance hall for my dorm mates, bouncing up and down in anticipation. As soon as the first set of students filed in, I stood on tiptoes and searched the crowd for any signs of my best friends, excitement inching through my chest. Lots of people stopped and said hello, or gave a half-hearted wave, including Rabastan, whom I tried to ignore. Gideon flashed me an even smile when he passed, that I did my best to return without turning an embarrassing shade of pink. He and his brother Fabian were already wearing their matching knitted Christmas sweaters. The ones they came back with every year. This year, Gideon's was purple and emblazoned with a large scarlet G.

 _"_ _Doe!"_

I didn't have to look to know it was Lily's high soprano. I turned around and barely moved an inch before I was barreled into by my three friends. They had run into me with such force we had all gone tumbling to the Great Hall floor, tripping over bags, trunks and owl cages, while the other students watched slightly entertained, and laughing. We did look a bit dramatic, but we had all missed one another so much we didn't care who was watching.

"Merlins sake you four, it was only _two_ weeks," James said shaking his head as he walked past us with Remus. Lily ignored him.

"We missed you so much," she said as we all laughed and tried to get back to our feet.

Marlene nodded in fierce agreement. "We have significantly less fun when you're not around."

"We can never do this again," Mary added firmly.

I beamed at them all, glad that they had missed me as much as I had missed them. "Well good, because I missed you three like _mad._ "

I bent down to help them with their bags and we chatted as we made our way back to Gryffindor tower.

Lily wrapped her arm around mine, linking it so we could walk in tandem. I instantly felt happier now that my friends had returned, like being reunited with family.

"So, what did you do the whole time we were gone?" Marlene asked, walking slowly down the corridor. "I heard Albert Runcorn say that only twelve of you stayed."

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, it was strange to see the castle so empty. Sirius and I had the entire Common Room to ourselves."

"You were here with _Sirius?_ " Marlene added in disbelief, her amber eyes wide and shocked, looking at me like I had left out an important part of the story.

"I didn't know he was staying until the first night," I told her, ignoring the shocked looks on both Lily and Mary's faces too. "He was the only other one here in Gryffindor, besides some first year.  
"So it was just the two of you," Lily asked curiously, one of her thin red eyebrows raised in shock, "the whole time?"

Mary looked ready to laugh. "How did _that_ go?"

I didn't understand how the three of them didn't seem get it. After two weeks practically alone with him, the idea of spending that much time with Sirius seemed normal to me.

We were completely alone in the corridor, and the three of my friends stared at me waiting for my recollection of winter break.

"It was kind of fun, actually," I told them shrugging. "Sirius and I got along well. Really well, actually. I think we might be sort of friends now."

Saying it out loud sounded a little strange, but it was true. In the last two weeks, we _had_ become friends.

"The two of you?" Marlene asked, delighted. "Never thought I'd see the day." She had a glow across her face that I knew had to do with her hope that if Sirius and I were friends, then we would be spending more time with the Marauders.

Mary grinned. "I would have paid money to see that. What did you too even do for _two_ weeks?"

"And with Sirius Black no less," Lily added, as if it being Sirius somehow made the situation more salacious.

I spun around and stopped in front of the portrait of the two-headed snake, to give them a teasing smile. "What? You don't think I'm fun enough to keep to a Marauder entertained for an entire break?"

I fluttered my eyelashes and Marlene offered me her hand so I could twirl dramatically.

Mary raised a brown eyebrow at us. "Not that you're not endlessly fascinating, Doe, but it's Sirius Black. All you have to do to keep him entertained is say _'Look over there!'_ "

"Or take your top off," Marlene snorted. "That works too. I'm going to go ahead and assume _that_ didn't happen, right? If you took a trip to the dormitory with Black, I expect full details."

"Marlene!" I chided, "Of course not!"

I could feel my cheeks burning as scarlet as the Gryffindor tapestry in the Great Hall, and hoped none of them noticed, but of course Marlene did. She fluttered her eyelashes at me until m gaze fell to the floor to avoid her searching eyes.

"We hung out in the Common Room, and played Quidditch," I told her firmly, shaking my head at the ridiculousness. "My last name isn't McKinnon."

Marlene blew a kiss at me. "Might as well adopt you at this point, Doe. I already have eight million siblings, and your blonde that's pretty much all it takes."

Lily threw a comforting smile at me and wrapped one of her tiny arms around my shoulder.

"It actually doesn't surprise me that you two are friends," she told me honestly. "You were becoming pretty close before break anyway."

It was a kind thing to say considering how irritating I knew she found the Marauders altogether. It was big of her. I gave her a comforting smile, and the three of us skipped back to the dormitory, giggling at Lily's recount of how she gave Petunia a bouquet of chirping pansies for Christmas.

Being reunited with my friends again filled me with a happiness that made it hard to feel sad for even a moment of time. In the weeks that had passed since winter break we hardly spent a moment a part. Part of it was that I had missed them so much when they were away, and part of it was Lily. I didn't know if it had been being around Petunia so much over the holiday, but Lily was desperately making sure we had enough friend time lately. She claimed it was because she had been too busy before break, and hadn't seen us much, and none of us questioned her on it. We were just glad to be around her.

The only person who didn't seem to be thrilled with all the time she spent with us, was Severus. At least twice a week, one of us would find him skulking outside of the Common Room waiting for her to come out. Mary called him the Grim Reaper when he did that, and Marlene found it so funny that's all she would call him that for weeks. I had had to explain the joke to her at first, and then again to Sirius, as Purebloods they had no idea what the Grim Reaper was.

As January started to come to a close, I found my time was being spent much more than it had in the previous months. I spent every free moment I didn't have in class with my friends or Sirius. I had been wrong when I assumed the rearrival of the Marauders would somehow lessen Sirius' interest in me. It seemed to have no effect on it at all. He still sat beside me in the Common Room or occasionally at mealtimes, talking and joking like we had over break, ignoring the assumed and sometimes irritated glances of our other friends and housemates. Our tutoring sessions had almost doubled in length now that we talked so much, to the point where Madam Pompfrey had to kick us out of the library most Tuesdays and Thursdays, something she took pride in saying that she had never had to do to Sirius before. Despite all of the stacked odds against it, Sirius Black had become my friend.

* * *

"Do you think Professor Tellweather is going to spend another two hours droning on about his pulsating aura this class?" Marlene asked me as we headed to our morning Divination class. "Because I really can't help but think how dirty that sounds every time he says it."

I chuckled, digging in my bag for my copy of The Dream Oracle. "Only you could find someone's aura dirty," I told her shaking my head.

"Me?" Marlene demanded incredulously. "He's the one who always says 'pulsating'! And anyway, I would know. My aura is probably filthy."

"I don't doubt that."

"Like Meadowes would know anything about filthy auras," Sirius said joining our conversation from behind us, the other Marauders a few feet behind them. "Her's is as clean as Tellweather's head."

"But Tellweather's bald," Peter piped stupidly.

Remus sighed, and James looked thrilled. He clapped his hand down on Peter's plump shoulder "That's the joke, Wormtail. Meadowes is squeaky clean."

"Like a young McGonagall," Marlene added, happily joining in and patting the top of my head.

I ignored them and turned to Sirius. "Do you make it your mission in life to insult me?"

Sirius grinned at me and slung an arm across my shoulder. "Insult you? Never. This is healthy banter, Darling. It keeps you grounded."

"You wouldn't want to get too big for your briches now would you?" James added happily.

I snorted, "Right. I'm the one who should be watching my ego, with you two around?"

Sirius winked at me and tossed his hair over the shoulder. "You know what they say, 'if you've got it, flaunt it'. You'd do well to remember that, Meadowes."

I rolled my eyes as I reached for the silver ladder, climbing it quickly to get away from them.

Professor Tellweather ended up teaching a real lesson today that involved our first foray into Crystal Ball Gazing. Each of us spent the better part of an hour staring into a foggy, circular ball faking predications for our future. Rylie and Alice had the most fun of the class, making it their mission to come up with the most outlandish predications they could, while Marlene and I did our best not to giggle as Professor Tellweather congratulated them on possessing the sight.

Marlene rubbed her crystal ball dramatically.

She turned to me, eyes fluttering. "If I really concentrate on getting Kingsley Shacklebolt to ask me to a broom closet tonight do you think it'll appear in the ball?" she asked.

"I'll tell you what," I told her, trying not to laugh. "If you see Kingsley Shacklebolt in that ball in front of you, I'll hand you the key to my Gringotts vault."

Marlene sighed and leaned back on the chair. "I'm already loaded, Doe. I've got money. What I don't have is a date for tonight."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Does it count as a date if you don't leave the broom closet?"

"If it doesn't then Sirius is going to have to reevaluate his entire system of dating," James added cheekily from the next table over, eavesdropping.

Sirius gave him a wide smile. "If that was meant to be an insult, Prongs, I'm afraid I'm not very insulted at all, in fact quite the opposite."

"Trust me, Padfoot. I meant it with all of the admiration and respect it deserves."

I turned to Marlene and gave her a knowing look. "You really want to take a page out of Sirius' book?"

Sirius frowned at me from his table, furrowing a thick eyebrow. "I see even our budding friendship hasn't prevented you from thinking I'm nothing more than a slag." He shook his head dramatically. "I really thought we were closer than that, Meadowes."

I blinked back at him and shook my head. "The closer we get, Sirius, the _more_ I think you're a slag."

Remus snorted so hard he started to cough and Peter covered his mouth with his hand. James was so excited, he looked like a little kid.

Sirius grinned and flashed me a smoldering look. "I do love your honesty, Meadowes. Never change."

Rolling my eyes, I turned back to Marlene. "If this whole Kingsley thing is important to you, I could tell him you're interested. We helped tutor Reggie Cattermole together last year and I know him pretty well."

Marlene's face lit up like a wand. "Oh, could you? I think he's so cute!"

"Of course."

Professor Tellweather interrupted our conversation by reading Marlene's crystal ball and telling her she to expect a fight with one of her siblings in the coming month.

"I bet it's Myra," Marlene said in false seriousness to the table, "She's been a real pain in the wand lately." Rylie barely kept it together, and Alice had to bury her head on her arm to muffle her giggles.

Professor Tellweather looked thrilled, shocked by Marlene's out of character participation in his antics.

"Not that difficult a prediction when half of Gryffindor's related to her," James snickered underneath his breath, behind Tellweather's back. "What does she have thirty siblings now?"

"You don't know how many McKinnon's there are?" Remus asked his face completely pulled down in disbelief. "Don't you live two doors down from them?"

James shrugged, attempting to juggle his crystal ball with both hands. "So? McKinnon's breed like gnomes."

Marlene ignored them both and suggested Professor Tellweather take a look at my crystal ball. I narrowed my eyes at her and turned back to our Professor.

Thrilled with her fake enthusiasm, Professor Tellweather scurried over to my crystal ball and pointed a bony, withered finger at it indignantly.

"There," he announced, pointing again. "Don't you see that, Ms. Meadowes?"

Marlene smirked. The only thing I saw in the crystal ball was a bunch of shapeless fog and occasionally when it was clear enough, my own face mirrored back to me.

I shook my head. "Sorry, Professor. I only see my own reflection."

Professor Tellweather shook his turban-clad head. "No, no child. That isn't your reflection look closely. That is someone who looks like you…" he touched the ball again, "ah yes, a sibling. You will soon be reunited with a sibling."

"I have my doubts about that since I'm an only child." I told the Professor honestly.

This time Marlene snorted across the table and Alice lost her head again. Sirius grinned.

Professor Tellweather frowned. "Ah yes, I see it's sharper now. It is not a sibling, it is your mother. You will soon be reunited with your mum."

"Reunited with _my_ mum?" I repeated, and Professor Tellweather nodded eagerly. Now I was even more sure of Professor Tellweather's inadequacy as a seer. He had obviously forgotten an important fact about my life.

"It's a little early in the morning to be predicting Doe's untimely death, don't you think, Professor?" Sirius asked from his table, mirroring my thoughts. He winked at me, and I followed his lead.

I sighed, "And just when I was getting used to the work in fifth year. I wonder if I'll make it to our O.W.L.'s"

Marlene covered her mouth to keep from bursting into laughter, fat tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as she did.

Sirius gave me a comforting look. "Don't worry, Meadowes, I'll make sure you have a beautiful funeral. Twelve wand salutes and honking daffodils; the works."

"I appreciate it," I told him. Sirius nodded in acceptance, and Remus rolled his eyes at us.

"You two are absolutely ridiculous," Remus said sighing and turning back to his own crystal ball.

Professor Tellweather looked very confused, staring back at Sirius and I with wide eyes and his mouth agape. "Death? I see no death in your future."

"Doe's mum's dead, Professor," Marlene told him, still pretending to be concerned about the accuracy of crystal balls.

Recognition flooded Professor Tellweather eyes and he gave a quick nod. "Ah, yes. I see. Well you know sometimes crystal balls can be mistaken. They're only a vehicle to the fortunes not the fortunes themselves." He clapped his tiny ring covered fingers together and then flitted off to a table full of Ravenclaws.

"That was fun," I told Marlene the second he was out of earshot. Professor Tellweather had already moved on to the Ravenclaws, and was now busy predicting Kyla Davies next love, and Imogen Warbeck's unfortunate failure.

Marlene wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and grinned. "I like it so much better when your cheeky, it's like when Mary gets mad."

I nodded "And you know to never mess with Mad Mary."

"It's like sticking your head in the Dragon's cage," Marlene agreed.

The rest of the period passed with no more predications of death, and no incidents other than Peter knocking over an entire shelf of crystals balls and shattering them all over the floor, to which Professor Tellweather replied that he would have a serious series of bad luck approaching. Marlene had rolled her eyes over that one while we helped Peter repair the balls.

I spent most of Care of Magical Creatures telling Amelia about in excruciating detail, laughing as she told me she didn't understand how Peter managed to land himself in Gryffindor.

"Tell me the truth, did he bribe the sorting hat?" she had asked me, completely serious.

I tried to hide the smile that appeared on my face as we watched him chase a heard of crows at Sirius' feet. "Probably. Makes more sense than the alternative."

"You mean Pettigrew being brave and courageous? I'd say so."

By the time lunch rolled around, I was glad to be able to sit down and not have to focus on anything besides food. I served myself a sandwich, waiting patiently for my friends to show up and join me. While I did, I picked up my wand and tried a simple charm I had read about the night before.

" _Avis_ ," I whispered, twisting my wand carefully. A tiny golden bird erupted from the end of my wand and skipped across the table towards the first years. It was simple, beautiful magic and it made me feel warm just to watch it skip down the table.

"That's cute," Mary said plopping in the seat down next to me. "Trying to make yourself a new pet?"

"Hardly," I told her shaking my head as it trotted back into my open, wand-free hand. "It's simple magic. It won't last long."

As if answering my words, the tiny golden bird gave one tiny squeak and then dissolved into a pile of golden dust.

"Well I hope that isn't on our O.W.L.s, because I have never seen it before in my life," Mary said serving herself some crisps. "I'd have remember something that cute."

"Don't worry, it wont be," I told her. "I found it in an advanced Charms book Flitwick gave me last year. I don't think we learn it until Sixth year at least."

Mary gave a concerned shake of her head. "Leave it to you to read ahead for fun. You're just like Lily sometimes."

"Speaking of," I nodded towards the entrance. Lily had entered the Great Hall with grin plastered across her face. Her cheeks were pink with nerves and she hadn't peeled her eyes off of the person beside her. And neither had half the girls in the Great Hall.

Amos Diggory was one of those people, a lot like Sirius and James, that had a captivating presence. It wasn't just his obvious good looks, it ran deeper than that. Whenever Amos Diggory smiled, everyone smiled, especially Lily. Her cheeks looked like they were hurting from smiling so hard.

Amos was hanging onto her every word as she spoke. It didn't seem to matter what she was talking about, Amos was looking at her like she had a halo perched on top of her head. Lily gave a quick nod and a smile to Amos and then trotted over to our table, while Amos watched from the Hufflepuff table. Even from here, I could see the murderous look on Severus' face at the Slytherin table. His dark eyes followed Amos all the way back to the Hufflepuff table, jealousy and hate written across his pale face. I almost felt bad for him, and then remembered how cruel he could be.

Lily plopped down in the seat besides us, face flushed and smiling.

"Hey guys," she chuckled brightly, seemingly unable to wipe the smile from her face. "What's new?"

"You're asking about us?" Mary asked in disbelief, a quixotic eyebrow raised. " You just walked Amos Diggory into the Great Hall on a leash."

Lily turned a deep shade of fuchsia, and turned to her empty plate, slightly embarrassed. "I did not," she said quietly, the small trace of a smile lingering on her cheeks.

"Trust me, you did," I assured her, watching her face flush again. You could hardly see her freckles now.

"Puh-lease," Mary said breaking the word into two, "If Marlene had been here she would have given you a round of applause."

Lily's emerald eye's crinkled as she laughed, her gaze drifting casually over to the Hufflepuff table as she did.

"He asked me on a picnic for this weekend.."

"Lily!" I said excitedly, almost knocking over my glass of Pumpkin juice as I did. "That's fantastic."

"What is?" Marlene asked, seemingly appearing out of nowhere as she dropped down into the seat across from Mary. She had hardly sat down when Mary burst out with it.

"Lily's going out with Amos this weekend!"

"Are you really?" Marlene pressed, yanking the scrunchie out of her hair and letting it spill over her shoulders. "Bloody hell, Evans. I don't think I've ever been this proud."

Lily beamed at her, her whole face lighting up as she did. "Glad to have earned your respect, Marls. I just hope it goes well. Amos is very attractive, and I find it a little intimidating."

"And so are you," I reminded her. "He'd have to be an absolute prat not to like you. Do you really think James Potter would have spent five years chasing after you if you weren't absolutely fantastic?"

Lily made a little face at the mention of James but listened anyway.

"She does make an excellent point," Mary nodded along, shoving a Yorkshire pudding into her mouth with a causal ease.

"I like you well enough," Marlene joked.

"Your compliments are highly appreciated," Lily told us, batting her eyelashes "Especially from goddesses like you three." Marlene tossed her hair over her shoulder confidently, and winked back at Lily.

"So, this seems like a perfect time to talk about your birthday," I told Lily. "Did you realize you'll be sixteen on Friday?"

Lily's face lit up with excitement. "I know. Crazy, isn't it? It feels like just yesterday we were all eleven and now we're sixteen." She shook her head at the ceiling.

"What do you want to do this year?" Marlene asked. "It's really rotten luck they've canceled Hogsmeade, but I'm sure we could get into a little mischief if we wanted too."

"Somehow, I think dark, murderous Wizards are a little more pressing than one of our birthdays," Mary reminded her.

"Only slightly," Marlene corrected her. "Gryffindor's don't party quietly. Potter's always bragging about being able to get Butterbeer into the castle. Shall I ask him?"

"No way," I told her shaking her head. "It's Lily's birthday. The last thing she wants is something from James."

And I knew how the Marauders operated. If James really could get his hands on butterbeer I knew he'd be breaking about six school rules to do it. The last thing Lily would want is to risk losing points or getting in trouble on her birthday.

Lily nodded in agreement. "She's right. I don't want to make a big production out of it. I'd be fine just spending the night with you three. A slumber party in the dormitory is all I need. Quality girl time."

"Done," I told her, wiping my hands dramatically. "We shall have a bonanza like third year."

"Is that the year that Rylie ended up throwing up two bags of Honeydukes cotton candy?" Lily asked giggling.

"Ah, a classic," Mary agreed, smiling fondly at the memory.

Marlene wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "In that case, I'm lifting Carmichael's emergency bottle of Firewhiskey for the occasion. I know where he keeps it, it's under his bed, right next to his poster of Celestina Warbeck." She rolled her eyes at his obviousness.

We spent the rest of lunch making elaborate plans for Lily's birthday slumber party in the dorm, each of them getting more ludicrous and entertaining as we went.

Most of the day was pretty unexciting. Our potions lesson was difficult and made the room steamy and hot. Marlene complained about how big her hair was for half the class and refused to stand closer than six inches away from the cauldron, shouting directions to me from a foot away, and History of Magic seemed to go on for hours, the droning sound of Professor Binns voice could put me to sleep. I spent most of the class wondering idly how I'd ever manage to pass my O.W.L with anything better than an A.

Defense Against the Dark Arts was a welcome way to end the day. When we entered the classroom, all of the desks were lined up like usual. A few students, idly hoping there was going to be a practical, looked disappointed, until they read the board. In neat careful writing, was the word; Lycanthropy.

The Marauders had traipsed into the room behind us and I noticed them stiffen as they quietly took their seats. James kept throwing furtive looks at Remus.

"This should be an interesting lesson," Lily said taking her usual seat beside me. "I find it absolutely fascinating. Don't you?"

I shrugged, "I never really thought about it."

The rest of the class was filing into the room behind us, taking their seats and talking in quiet whispers about the topic on the board.t much about it, to be perfectly honest."

"My great uncle Barnaby had Lycanthropy," Marlene said leaning over her desk. "Of course, he died really young though."

"Poor thing," Lily said softly, resting her hands on her textbook. "Did he suffer?"

Marlene shook her head. "Well, not when he died, but his life was a whole other kind of torture."

"I don't think it's fair how they're treated," Lily said, her eyes filling with angry tears. "People act is if they choose it." Her gaze drifted back behind her for a decond and then she sat straight forward as if remembering something very important.

Mary looked extremely put out. "Hold on a second," she said quickly. "What do you mean? What's lycanthropy?"

A cruel laugh rang out beside her. Elizabeth Burke and Narcissa Malfoy happened to have been passing our desks and had heard Mary's question.

"Why am I not shocked that _you_ don't know, Macdonald?" Elizabeth snapped, dropping her textbook on Marlene and Mary's shared desk so loud it rang out with a snap. Mary turned scarlet, avoiding her eyes.

"Don't you ever tire of hearing yourself speak?" I demanded of her. "Surely that constant buzzing in your head were your thoughts should be, has to get quite annoying." Lily snorted and Elizabeth ignored me, turning back to Mary.

Narcissa joined her, staring Mary down. "Werewolves are probably the only thing worse than a _mudblood_ ," she said with a high-pitched giggle.

From across the room, I watched the Marauders obviously listen into our conversation with tense faces.

"Who said anything about werewolves?" Mary asked. Marlene sighed and sunk lower into her chair, looking like she'd love nothing more than to tear both Elizabeth and Narcissa to ribbons

'What do you think a lycanthrope is? It's a werewolf," Elizabeth snapped.

"Which would you rather be locked in a room with, Lizzie?" Narcissa asked in a cruel voice, "Macdonald or a werewolf?"

Elizabeth wrinkled her tiny nose. "Neither. A werewolf is every bit as disgusting as a mudblood."

Behind Marlene and Mary's desk, Remus accidently knocked over his textbook.

"Hey!" Marlene snapped at them both. "Watch your mouth unless you want me to hex it permanently closed."

Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Once again, Marlene you're showing everyone that even Purebloods can be absolute embarrassments to wizard kind. What would your grandmother think if she heard you spouting about like a blood-traitor?"

I could see the confidence building in Marlene's eyes as she stood up and faced Narcissa. Lily and I exchanged a smile, knowing that Marlene was about to destroy her.

"Considering Gran once called your whole family a bunch of toad faced arseholes, I'm not too concerned about it."

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at Marlene, who cocked one of her eyebrows. "You know, Marlene. In the end, I'm sure you'll get exactly what you deserve. You too, Macdonald."

All of the class was sitting down in their seats now, and about half were watching our confrontation.

I drew my wand just in case and Marlene's eyes turned to slits as she drew her own. Her expression was murderous.

"Those are fighting words, Burke," Marlene hissed, so quietly it was almost a whisper. "If you mean them."

Elizabeth smiled. "Mean them? I live by them. You think Hogsmeade was an isolated innocent? A new time is coming. They'll be consequences for Mudbloods and Bloodtraitors alike."

"Elizabeth," Narcissa hissed quietly, warning her friend with an urgent whisper. She wasn't correcting her or disagreeing. Narcissa believed what Elizabeth said whole-heartedly, but as a Black she knew the importance of time and place. That almost made me madder. I wanted to rip Elizabeth's head from her shoulders.

Elizabeth and Narcissa were interrupted as Professor Marchbanks strode out in front of the board, her velvet robes billowing behind her as she walked. All it took was one curt look on her pointed face to make both Narcissa and Elizabeth take their seats. It didn't stop them from throwing the four of us a pair of cold stares as they did.

"I hate them," Marlene seethed angrily, her fingers twitching as she watched Elizabeth and Narcissa snicker together.

"They're vile," I whispered, the corners of my mouth twitching. "Don't let them get to you." It was easy to preach but I could feel my own hate for them radiating through it. It would be more than fun to hex those looks off their arrogant faces.

Mary said nothing, she just opened her defense book and buried herself in it, busying herself with reading the chapter.

"Do you think she's okay?" Lily whispered to me quietly. "Should I do something?"

I shook my head, "No. You have to let her ride it out on her own, Lils."

Lily sighed. "I know. I just hate that they made her sad."

Mary looked ready to burst into tears, but we knew better than to say anything. Whenever something happened with the Slytherins, Mary preferred not to talk about it. She was afraid and she didn't like that feeling.

Professor Marchbanks coughed and commanded the entire rooms attention.

"Today, as you can see from the board, we will be discussing Lycanthropy. It's an important topic that always comes up on your O.W.L.s, so pay close attention."

The Marauders were being oddly quiet. Normally James and Sirius never shut up in defense, but they had hardly said a word since they entered the room. Peter actually looked like he was covering his mouth with his hand and Remus had turned an odd shade of green. It was strange.

Professor Marchbanks flicked her wand and fresh writing scribbled onto the board.

"Werewolves," she began.

From the back of the room Sebastian Mulciber howled, "OWWWWOHHHHH"

Sirius groaned, and James sighed. Remus held his quill tighter in his hand.

Professor Marchbanks narrowed her eyes at Mulciber. "One more outburst and I will throw the whole lot of you in detention. I suggest you shut your mouths and pay attention, unless you want to fail your O. " she huffed.

"Lycanthropy," she continued, "Is the disease that causes Werewolves. It is transferred by being bitten by a fully morphed werewolf, or in some rare cases, the gene can be present in the offspring of an infected individual. Now a werewolf differs from an animagus, in that a werewolf cannot control when they phase. Once a month, on every full moon, the individual transforms into a wolf. The transformation process is very painful and when it is finished, they werewolf is no longer fully aware of the individual they were before it. Now, let's discuss the proper ways to identify werewolves and how to track them".

Everyone was silent as we took notes. For a lecture class, it was endlessly fascinating. Professor Marchbanks had an engaging way of teaching that felt more like stories. The entire class never took their eyes off of her as she spoke. She spoke about the history of werewolves, how to chart the full moon, and the pain of their transformations all while the class sat in absolute silence. Not even the Marauders dared to interrupt her.

When class was over and we were all heading to leave, Professor Marchbanks turned to us all and said, "Now I want a foot-long composition on how to recognize a fully transformed werewolf on my desk by next class."

Sylvia Montague shuddered violently from under Thomas Nott's arm. "Werewolves terrify me," she said shaking her head. "I don't know why don't just round them all up and have them killed."

Remus' backpack slipped off of his arm, but James caught it before it hit the ground.

Lily rolled her eyes at the back of Sylvia's head as we walked. "What a bloody idiot," she hissed, "Can someone honestly be that ignorant and cruel?"

"You're asking me how Slytherins can be cruel?" I repeated to her. "Does it honestly surprise you that they would be bigoted about lycanthropy? They don't like people based solely on their blood status, Lils."

Lily sighed, slinging her bag over her shoulder, still glaring at Sylvia. "Yeah, you're right, it just really bothers me. I can take it when they call me the M word and those disgusting rants they always go on are vile, but lycanthropy? Who cares? It's a disease, just like anything else."

"That's the kind rational way of thinking," I told her. "Something the Slytherins don't understand."

Mary and Marlene had already left the room, probably in an attempt to keep from killing Narcissa and Elizabeth, so Lily and followed them back to the Common Room. All the while, I couldn't shake the idea of Lycanthropy from my mind. The way Professor Marchbanks's spoke about them broke my heart. I couldn't imagine living a life like that. It had to be quite hard. Harder than living as an orphan even.

* * *

"Do you think that banner's a little low?" Marlene asked carefully.

She was sprawled across her four-poster watching as Mary and I decorated the dormitory for Lily's birthday. Mary was the best at household spells, and I watched in awe as blankets, pillows and chiffon drapes erupted from the end of her wand and all over the dormitory making it look like more like a genies den then the fifth-year girl's dormitory.

"You know if you stood up and helped it might look even better," Mary told her, from where she stood on her nightstand fastening a blanket across two of our beds.

"I'm managing you two," Marlene said throwing herself back on her pillows. "I've always been more of a leader."

"Wingardium, Leviosa!" I raised my wand higher and levitated the glittery banner another six inches into the air. The words _Happy Birthday Lily_ sparkled in the middle of the room. "Better?" I asked Marlene.

"Perfect, Meadowes."

The door to the dormitory opened, and Alice trotted in with Rylie, both of their arms loaded down with boxes of sweets. They were both dressed in their cutest pajamas like the rest of us.

"Wow," Rylie mused taking in the room, "it looks fantastic in here."

"Thank you," Mary boasted proudly, letting another blanket drift from the end of her wand, covering the last bit of visible wood flooring. It looked like the inside of a snuffbox in here.

"We bought every box of sweets anyone in Gryffindor had left from Hogsmeade," Alice chirped happily, dropping them on the small table Mary and I had set up in the middle of floor. "Here's your change."

Alice handed me back my money bag, and she and she and Rylie busied themselves with setting up the candy in the middle of the room.  
"Were lucky Lily's birthday is in January," Rylie mused, placing down a couple of chocolate frog cards, "Everyone still had a bunch left."

"Speaking of which," Marlene asked. "Does anyone know where we put that chocolate frog card we bought her?"

Mary rolled her eyes and ruffled Marlene's hair. "You mean the Agrippa? It's wrapped over there. No thanks to you." Marlene elbowed her in the ribs.

"How long until Lily gets here?" Alice asked, looking out of the window beside the beds. It was night time already.

"She's still with Severus," I told her, rearranging the pillows from our beds so that we could all sit around the heater.

We had spent the entire morning with her until Severus had come skulking around, demanding a little bit of free time to give her a present.

Marlene narrowed her nose. "Ugh. Imagine spending your birthday with that slimy git."

"You sound like James," Mary told her, plopping down on the floor beside Rylie and Alice.

Marlene shrugged her shoulders. "James has the right idea about him. Everyone in this room knows how creepy Snape is."

"It doesn't matter what we think of him," I reminded her, "He's Lily's friend, and it's her birthday so we can't talk about him, alright."

"Bo-ring!" Marlene whined from her bed, she reached beside her to pull out a large bottle of half-empty Firewhiskey, she knicked from her brother. "This always makes Doe a bit more fun."

"You have firewhiskey?" Rylie asked excitedly, "I've never had that before."

"Well then tonight's the night, Fawcett," Marlene announced happily, conjuring a few tiny crystal glasses from her trunk.

"I'm not even going to ask where you got those from," I said shaking my head.

"It was a Christmas gift from Meredith," Marlene wagged her eyebrows. "Merlin, she's my favorite sister."

"Wish I had a different sister," Mary complained, "Julie has been driving me up the wall. You know she's been such a little snitch lately. Everything I do around here ends up in one of her letters to mum and dad."

Marlene snickered, "I doubt that anything Julie says about you would get you into much trouble."

"I'm not worried about that, you know how my parents are about magic."

Before she could say anything else, the door to the dormitory opened and a familiar red head bobbed into the room, weighed down with the largest bouquet of lilies' I had ever seen. We had been so caught up in our conversation we hadn't noticed her come up.

"Merlin," Lily said placing the flowers down on the floor. "It looks absolutely amazing in here. You guys did all of this for _me_?"

"Of course, we did," I told her handing her a pair of her pajamas. "You requested a slumber party and a slumber party you shall have."

"This is too much," Lily said changing into her pajamas and curling up on one of the pillows, absolute delight written across her features.

"I did most of the work," Marlene joked, while Mary threw her a dirty glance. Alice, Rylie and I chuckled.

Lily was still beaming looking wildly around the decorated room as she nibbled on one of the chocolate frogs in front of her.

"Who gave you the flower's Lily?" Alice asked as Marlene conjured a glass of firewhiskey for everyone.

I expected Lily to decline hers, but to my surprise she took it without hesitation, and took a tiny sip.

"They're from Amos," Lily said blushing a little. She took another sip from her glass. "I had to dodge a precession of them from James on my way up here."

A glass of firewhiskey appeared in front of me and I took a tiny sip. I had had it before, but it packed a punch that I wasn't always ready for. Beside me, Marlene downed her entire glass in seconds.

"Did you really expect James to ignore your birthday?" Marlene asked her, pouring some more. "That would be like him ignoring Christmas."

Lily sighed. "Tell me about it," she replied miserably. "You know I ran into him when I was with Severus earlier. Even my birthday didn't seem to be enough of an occasion to get him from calling him Snivellus."

She sighed and took another swig from her cup. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about James tonight. It'll only stress me out. Let's talk about happier things. Did you hear that there's talk of Celestina Warbeck playing at Hogwarts next year? McGonagall told me that she's a former Slug Club member, and adores Slughorn."

"That's Imogen Warbeck's aunt, isn't it?" Alice asked. "I bet that would make it a lot easier to get her here."

Rylie squealed, finishing off her glass of firewhiskey. "I just love that song of hers; _A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love._ "

"I love that song," Marlene said standing on the edge of her bed and clinging to one of the posters to hold herself up. " _I've got me a strong potion brewing,_ " she sang loudly and very off key, " _one that's brewing just for youuuuuuu_."

Firewhiskey came snorting out of Lily's nose as she and I burst into laughter. Alice and Rylie buried their faces in their pillows to keep from laughing too loudly at her.

"It's a wonder that Professor Flitwick hasn't asked you to join the school choir yet," Mary joked with her.

"You're all just jealous," Marlene said clutching at her chest. "I have the voice of an angel."

"You have the voice of the Fat Lady," I told her as she spun on one of the four posters again.

"The whole lot of you are mad," she swore confidently.

As the night went on, the five of us managed to drain all of the remaining firewhiskey and put a hearty dent in the haul of Honeydukes candy we had bought. I had warned myself not to drink very much, and so had Lily. But Marlene, Alice and Rylie had taken turns downing the bottle and were getting more and more tossed with every passing second, something that was becoming increasingly fun for the rest of us.

"Okay, I have a question," Alice giggled drunkenly from the corner where she clutched a velveteen pillow to her chest.

We had just finished a round of trying Honeydukes new animal toffees that made you sound like any animal under the sun.

"Ew! Is that a rat?" Marlene asked out of nowhere, tossing an empty chocolate frog box at something in the corner.

Mary turned immediately to see what she was looking at and blinked back at Marlene. "I don't see anything there, Marley. Are you sure that's not the firewhiskey talking?"

Marlene chuckled, "You know what? Probably."

The rest of chuckled as she took the final swig of the bottle, bowing to us as she did.

Alice pointed a tiny nimble finger at Lily. "I've always wondered something," she said carefully. "Do you think your friend Snape is in love with you?"

Lily practically choked on her piece of coconut ice as Alice looked at her. Marlene and I exchanged a quick look as she did.

"Severus?" Lily demanded shaking her head furiously. "No way! It's not like that. We've been friends since before we even came to Hogwarts."

I didn't think that mattered very much. Anyone who knew Lily well or who had even watched Severus with her knew how desperately he was in love with her. Marlene and I had had many late-night conversations about it.

Lily was either too blinded by her friendship with him to see it, or was lying to herself.

"I don't know," Rylie pressed, "he really seems to like spending time with you."

"That's because were good friends," Lily assured her, honestly. "People always think it's strange, but it doesn't have to be like that. There's nothing romantic going on with me and Severus."

Rylie shrugged, still looking confused. "I just always wonder if blokes and birds can really be friends, you know? Without one of them liking the other."

"Well, look at Sirius and Doe," Mary pointed out, leaning back on her pillow. "They're friends, and they're not shagging."

"As far as we know," Marlene joked salaciously from the corner.

I grabbed the biggest pillow I could find, wanting to toss it at her, but she levitated it out of my hands before I could.

"We just started being friends," I reminded them. "And anyway, we're not nearly as close as Lily and Severus. It's different."

"Frank and I are friends too," Alice reminded Rylie.

Rylie gave her a knowing look, "And you two are in love with each other! You just don't realize it." Alice turned a violent shade of pink.

"Speaking of unrequited love," Mary said, "Did you all hear that Professor Kettleburn caught Otto Bagman and Kyrsten Morris snogging in the woods during their Care of Magical Creatures lesson yesterday?"

" _During_ their lesson?" Lily asked, looking absolutely horrified at the thought of anyone wasting their class time like that. It made me want to chuckle at how wonderfully pure she was.

Mary nodded. "Yup."

"Amateurs," Marlene said shaking her head. "Everyone knows there's a hundred better places in the castle. I just overheard Sirius bragging about this room the other day that appears if you need it, it's called the-"

A loud squeak cut her off. Rylie shrieked and jumped onto the bed behind her, pointing at a rat that was standing on its hind legs. It was staring at us, it's tiny hands clamped together, looking like it had been _listening_ to what we were saying. I shook my head realizing how crazy I sounded.

More squealing erupted as everyone else noticed the rat. It seemed to sense this and scampered off across our table of sweets, diving for the crack under the dormitory door.

"Someone catch it!" Alice roared, reaching for her wand on the nightstand beside her. I was closer to my wand and threw it forward.

" _Petrifucus Totlaes!"_ I cried, casting the body-bind curse at it. It just missed it, and the rat scampered away from us diving under the door and disappearing.

"Did you see that?" Mary demanded staring after it.

Lily shivered as she nodded, running her hands up her arms. "I hate rats."

"Am I really tossed?" Marlene began, "Or did anyone else notice that it was staring at us, like it was listening?"

"It's a rat, Marlene," Mary told her patting her shoulder comfortingly, "I'd say your tossed."

I shook my head. "No, I saw it too, it was weird. Like it understood us."

"Merlin is that the time?" Alice said looking over at the tiny iron clock by her bed "it's after three! How did we not notice?"

"Fun," Marlene reminded her. "Probably wouldn't have noticed at all of it weren't for that rat."  
That seemed to be the signal for us all to start cleaning up the dormitory and head to bed. Lily had already yawned three time in the last hour.

"Maybe it's someone pet," Lily said, standing firmly on the edge of her bed looking around for any more of them, still clearly thinking about the rat.

"Who would want _that_ as a pet?" Marlene shuddered. "Grimy little things, aren't they?"

The

"I wish Mittens wasn't down in the Cattery tonight," Rylie said earnestly. "She always catches the rats at home."

Lily frowned. "I don't like rats at all, but I don't want them dead either."

Rylie shrugged, "That's just the order of things Lily. Something always kills something else."

Lily looked like she had a comeback she was ready to fire back at Rylie, but had decided against it, throwing a glance at me instead.

"Rylie's always been kind of a duffer, Lily," I whispered to her. "I doubt she even thought much about what she's saying."

Lily nodded, "Yeah. I suspect that's true." She curled up on the edge of her bed as everyone made their way back to their own beds, returning their pillows and blankets to their original state.

"Did you have a good birthday, Lils?" I asked her, curling up beside her.

"Are you kidding?" she asked me "It was fantastic! You guys out did yourselves, honest. Really upping the stakes for your birthdays."

I chuckled as I curled up in my own bed. It was another hour before we had all quieted and turned off all the lights. One of my favorite parts of being at Hogwarts was having all of my friends around all of the time. Even on nights where we didn't plan it, it often felt like a slumber party. I could hardly imagine a world where Mary, Marlene and Lily weren't five feet from me every night. They were the closest thing I had to family.

I tried to fall asleep, but our conversations from earlier kept crowding my brain. Was it true what Rylie had said? Could Birds and Blokes really not be friends without one of them liking the other?

It certainly seemed true with Lily and Severus, and if Rylie was right then it was the same with Frank and Alice.

It made me wonder about Sirius' and I's newfound friendship. Was it destined to fail? We seemed to be getting on really well. Did that mean one of us cared for the other? I almost snorted out loud at the idea of Sirius falling in love with _anyone._ That was not in his nature. He liked many women, sometimes all at once.

Rylie must be wrong then. It's not always the case. Sirius and I had to be the exception to the rule.

At least I thought so.


	13. Moon Child

13

The Moon Child

The only downside to Lily's birthday party was that it left our entire dormitory exhausted and sick for the rest of the weekend. Marlene had gotten so drunk, she spent the entirety of Saturday lying in bed complaining that the first years in the Common Room were practicing their spells too loudly, and then threatened to turn the next owl that flew past the bedroom into a tea cozy. Alice spent in right beside her, groaning into her pillow while Rylie dutifully brought them both breakfast, lunch and dinner from the Great Hall.

It took almost the entire weekend for the two of them to fully recover, and when they did we swung right back into classes and our routine, which seemed to become more difficult and daunting every single day. Only the promise of the upcoming Quidditch Match was lightening the mood surrounding our workload.

"What do you think the chances are of Ravenclaw creaming Slytherin this weekend?" Sirius asked causally, during one of our regular Tuesday tutoring sessions. We had been there for hours and our textbooks laid open and forgotten in front of us, as the conversation steered away from academics. I had been planning on finishing Marchbanks' Lycanthropy essay, but talking about Quidditch always distracted me, something Sirius knew well.

"They're both strong teams," I told him, twisting my quill between my fingers, "But I'm rooting for Ravenclaw. I couldn't stand to hear it if the Slytherins win another match."

"You think _you_ have it bad?" Sirius said, nodding over to a table across the library, where his brother was sitting with a group of Slytherin third years, all of them sneering over a set of parchment. "Imagine listening to that little runt go on and on every summer."

"Right," I chuckled darkly. "I _can't_ imagine what it would be like to have miserable summers."

Sirius flashed me a wide grin. "That's what I love about you, Meadowes. You really know how to throw things in perspective."

A small smile drifted across my face as I twirled my quill again. When I looked up, I saw Regulus staring up at our table, glaring at his brother. I elbowed Sirius in the ribs and nodded towards their table.

"Regulus is staring at you again," I told him quietly. Sirius looked up and followed my gaze, rolling his eyes.

"Ah, yes," Sirius whispered entertained slightly. "That look is called _Disappointment._ "

I raised an eyebrow. "He's disappointed in _you?_ " I asked.

Sirius shrugged. "You have no idea. Regulus has always been firmly planted up our mother's arse. He buys into all of that Black is Pureblood Royalty dung. So, to him, hanging around with anyone that's not a Slytherin, inbred Pureblood makes me the biggest disappointment in the family," A small smile crossed his face. "At least that's what mother whispers in his ear every night before bed."

"Your mother sounds like a real treat," I told him quietly, reminded of my mother's family and the propaganda they preached.

Sirius gave me a knowing look. "She's the evilest bitch on the planet, and that's the kindest thing I can say about her."

I shuddered, "Sorry about that."

Sirius snorted. "Well you should be considering it's your fault," he joked.

I rolled my eyes turning back to the half-finished essay in front of me. It was due tomorrow and I didn't even want to imagine the lecture I'd be facing from Marchbanks if I didn't finish it, or the idea of staying up half the night finishing it by wand light.

I turned back to it and reread the last thing I had written.

 _The easiest way to identify a werewolf is the time of night. If the full moon is present, there is a good chance that the animal in front of you is in fact a werewolf vs. an actual wolf._

I pulled out my moon chart from astronomy and used it to help me try and finish the essay, I had already highlighted each phase of the moon on it anyway.

There had been one the night of Slughorn's dinner party. The night that I had seen those animals on the grounds.

"I finished that the other night," Sirius boasted proudly. "Never thought I'd see the day I was better prepared for class than _you._ "

"I've been a little preoccupied, lately," I told him flipping through my defense textbook searching for the chapter on nocturnal beasts. "And I'm not surprised you finished it. You actually paid attention that class."

Sirius raised a cocky eyebrow. "Keeping tabs on me, are you Meadowes?"

I grinned at him. "It's not hard to remember a time when you're quiet. It happens so infrequently."

"Touché."

I knew why I remembered. He hadn't just been quiet that class. He had been silent. All of them had been. They had spent most of it just staring at Remus.

In five years of classes with them, I had never once known them to be quiet in a lesson unless they were up to something, and definitely not in a lesson as exciting as a lycanthropy.

"Are you planning on actually doing the essay?" Sirius complained, "If I wanted to watch someone do homework, I could stay in the Common Room and hang out with Moony."

 _Moony._

The quill I was holding slipped through my fingers and went falling to the floor, as realization washed over me.

Remus missed classes every month. Sure, the excuse was that is his mother was sick, but every month? That seemed like quite a lot, and I was sure if I checked the dates I would find that every missed class followed a full moon.

It made so much sense. Why Remus was always so quiet and reserved. Why he had looked so absolutely miserable during that defense lesson. Why his nickname was Moony.

That one was really too obvious. I felt all of the pieces click together in my head, as my heart broke for Remus. It explained so much.

I slammed my textbook closed and scooped it into my bag frantically, my mind racing. If this was true, Sirius would know the truth. I rounded on him.

"What's with you?" Sirius asked, watching me lazily, a confused look etched across his features.

"We need to talk," I whispered to him, grabbing him by the arm and lifting him from his seat.

"Bloody hell, what's got your wand in a knot?" he asked me loudly as I dragged him from the library by his arm.

Both Madam Pince and Regulus threw us dirty looks as we pushed the doors of the library open and stomped out.

"Seriously, Meadowes. What's going on?" Sirius asked as I dragged him down the corridor.

"Hold on," I whispered frantically, making sure we kept walking at a brisk pace.

I turned another corner and made sure no one was looking before I pulled him into an empty broom closet. Sirius's eyes were wide with a cocky grin as I closed the door behind me.

"Well, well, well," Sirius asked raising an eyebrow at me. "Decided you finally couldn't resist me, could you?" he joked, winking at me.

I rolled my eyes. "I need to ask you something," I told him, locking the door, "Something important, and I don't want to be overheard."

The triumphant grin fell from his face and was replaced with a dejected look. "Alright, go ahead."

I bit my bottom lip unsure of how to phrase the question that was lingering on my lips, and racing through my mind.

Sirius rolled his eyes, looking impatient. "Come on, Meadowes. Out with it."

"Remus is a werewolf, isn't he?" I blurted out, crossing my arms.

Sirius didn't say anything. He just stared at me completely expressionless. I'd never seen him look quite so stunned before. It was a confirmation in and of itself. I felt my stomach drop instantly. I had hoped I was wrong, because if I was right and Remus really was a werewolf, then he had a harder life than I could have imagined.

My heart broke for my house mate.

"Who told you?" Sirius demanded firmly, after a moment of silence, confirming my thoughts. "Was it Wormtail? I'll _kill_ him."

I shook my head immediately. As indifferent as I felt towards Peter, I didn't want him getting blamed for something he didn't do.

"No one told me, Sirius," I said quietly. "I just figured it out."

It wasn't as if it had been that obvious, but I doubted I was the only one capable of stringing together the details. Most people probably wouldn't care enough.

"He was always worried about that," Sirius sighed, running one of his tanned calloused hands over his face. "Moony's going to kill me. He's gonna think _I_ told you."

"Why would he think _you_ told me?" I asked, locking my gaze on him.

Something flashed across Sirius eyes for a second and he avoided my gaze. "No Reason."

He looked conflicted. "He wouldn't. Listen, you can't tell anyone, alright? No one."

I gave him a furious look. "You honestly think _I_ would tell anyone?"

"No, I don't."

He shook his head. "Merlin. I always knew someone would figure it out eventually, but I didn't think it would be you. How'd you manage to put it together?"

I gave him a pointed look. "You literally call him, _Moony_."

Sirius waved me off. "That could have meant anything."

"That combined with the constantly missing classes made me figure it out," I told him honestly, and then seeing the look of frustration on his face, I quickly added, "But I'm around you lot all of the time. I doubt anyone else would notice things like that."

That part was probably true. Lily and Marlene had always made me a little more perceptive of the Marauders than other people, and that combined with Sirius and I's newfound friendship only made me more receptive. Other people probably wouldn't care enough to notice. I hoped that for Remus' sake.

"I hope so," Sirius added glumly. "Remus would be in a really foul mood if people found out. He always thinks people will think less of him."

"Think less of him?" I asked in disbelief, " _Remus?_ That's barmy. He's one of the nicest people in the year."

Sirius snorted. "You and I know that, but Moony doesn't. He somehow thinks people will turn their backs on him. Took him two years to even tell us about it. Can you imagine? We thought he had a secret girlfriend of something for the first two years of school." He shook his head. "Anyway, that's why you have to keep that pretty mouth of yours shut. I don't even want to imagine the hell on Earth it would be for him if the Slytherins knew about his 'Furry Little Problem.'"

"His _what?_ " I asked, stifling a laugh.

Sirius grinned. "Oh, right. Blimey, I forgot. That's what James calls it. Thinks it's funny."

I wanted to snort. "That makes it sound like he has a badly-behaved rabbit."

"Better than the alternative," Sirius said, "I am surprised at how well you're taking this. Thought you of all people would be brimming with questions. You're usually much more annoying about details."

I touched the top of my forehead. "I _do_ have questions, but I'm still processing this."

"By all means then, process away."

It was a lot to take in. I had a hundred questions running through my head, each one of them more pressing than the last. I had never considered that someone could be a werewolf so young, and while they were at Hogwarts? It seemed impossible. It was definitely something that must require extensive planning. Dumbledore had to know about it. McGonagall too, no doubt, and maybe all of the professors.

"How does it work?" I asked Sirius, "Where does he go?"

Sirius grinned, looking like he had expected this question. "Keep in mind, before I tell you this, these are trade secret's I'm sharing,"

I rolled my eyes and Sirius kept talking, "There's a passageway under the Whomping Willow. Just touch the knot at the base of the tree and the branches' stop moving long enough for you to climb through. That passageway leads to the Shrieking Shack. That's where Remus transforms. "

" _The Shrieking Shack?"_ I hissed in disbelief. "Is he mad? That's the most haunted building in Britain!"

Sirius was shaking his head before I had even finished speaking. "Not it's not actually. Those shrieks people are always hearing? _That's_ Remus."

I felt like my head was going to explode from all the information that was being thrown at me. Secret Passages? Lycanthropy? What was next?

"It's not as mad as it sounds," Sirius said looking at my expression, "the four of us are down their every full moon and we all make it out of there in one piece."

The four of them? Confusion flicked across my face. Something didn't quite make sense. There was no way even the Marauders would be reckless enough to hang out with a werewolf on a full moon, or were they? I feared I already knew the answer.

"Hang on," I told Sirius crossing my arms. "What do you mean, the _four_ of you? How are the rest of you sitting around with a fully transformed werewolf on a full moon?"

Sirius' bottom lip pushed out and the grin fell from his lips almost immediately. It was clear he had realized he had shared too much.

"Merlin, if I tell you this, Remus will quite literally kill me," Sirius said with a sigh, "Prongs will probably help him, mind you."

" _You_ don't have to tell me," I told him shrugging. "I'm sure James would tell me if I asked nice enough. I'd only have to promise to give him my seat next to Lily in Defense."

I headed for the door and Sirius grabbed me by the shoulder, stopping me and calling my bluff.

"Alright, Alright. No need to run off to Prongs, but if I tell you, you have to promise it doesn't leave this broom closet, okay?"

"Why do I feel like this isn't the first time you've uttered _those_ words."

"Because it isn't," Sirius replied cheekily, winking at me for good measure, "Now come on, Doe I need you to swear it."

Sirius very rarely used my first name. He seemed to content to call me Meadowes for the rest of my life, so if he was using it I knew it had to be somewhat serious.

This whole thing seemed very cloak and dagger. Especially for Sirius, considering he was the kind of person to always overshare.

"I swear I won't repeat what it ever it is you're about to tell me," I assured him.

" _Solemnly_ swear," Sirius pressed.

I sighed. "Godric you're being dramatic today, aren't you?"

"Being dramatic is in my nature," Sirius reminded me. "Like good looks and my unfailing ability to please a woman."

I rolled my eyes so hard, they felt like they were going to roll backwards in my head. "Fine. I _solemnly_ swear never to repeat whatever fascinating or no doubt dangerous information you are about to divulge to me. Happy?"

"Thrilled, actually," Sirius smiled and crossed his arms as he leaned back against the stone wall.

"Alright, now the thing is, it's not as if the three of us are sitting across from Remus fully human. He's dangerous when he's like that. He'd probably rip our heads off and not realize until he woke up in the morning."

I tried to keep my face still and emotionless as Sirius spoke, but it was difficult. I didn't know who I was more scared for; Remus or the rest of them.

"…so, when Remus finally fessed up about what he was in third year, we realized we had to find a way to hang out with him during those terrible nights and not have him shred us to ribbons, so we did some research, found a way, and spent the next two years working out how to do it."

Whatever it was, clearly, they had achieved it. I wondered if it was some kind of potion.

"So?" I asked, "What did you do?"

Sirius grinned so wide it took up his entire face. "Ever heard of Anamagi, Meadowes?"

My jaw fell open so fast I was sure it was going to hit the floor. Of all the stupid things Sirius and the Marauders had gotten up to in the last five years, this one had to take the cake. Reckless didn't begin to describe it.

He had to be lying. Anamagi were rare. It was hard for grown, skilled wizards to become one. The only one I had ever met was Professor McGonagall. The idea that the three of them had done it on their own, was baffling. If it were true, they had to be some of the most brilliant, gifted wizards in the year.

Fear struck me in the chest as I considered what this meant. You had to be registered to be an Anamagi, and of age. If he were telling the truth, he and the others had broken the law. They could be thrown in Azkaban.

"Are you joking?" I asked him quietly.

Sirius shook his head and took a step back from me. He flicked his wand lazily, and in seconds he disappeared. A great, shaggy, black dog replacing him where he stood.

I covered my mouth with my hand to keep from screaming. It was the dog I had seen on the grounds the night before Halloween, I was sure of it. Sirius was telling the truth.

The dog, or Sirius, trotted happily in a circle for a moment and then walked back to the other corner of the closet.

My heart was racing in my chest as a moment later, Sirius was back, grinning with a look of pure pride. I didn't know if I was more furious or impressed.

"Bloody brilliant, isn't it?" Sirius asked cockily.

"No, it's not!" I gave him a hard shove in the chest. "Are you _mad?_ " I demanded, growing more upset. "That's illegal! You could be expelled! Bloody hell, you could be thrown in Azkaban!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Meadowes, re-lax. No one knows about this, so we're not going to end up in Azkaban, unless you're planning on running off and snitching, are you?" He raised a confident eyebrow.

I glared at him. "You know I'd _never_ do that."

"So, what's the problem then?"

"Someone else could find out!"

"No one's going to find out," Sirius said firmly. "The only people who know are the Marauders, and you. And anyway, it doesn't matter. This was the only way we could keep Remus company without ending up his dinner."  
I had to admire the dedication and loyalty they had to Remus. To spend two years learning some of the most complicated and illegal magic imaginable just to help their friend, was exemplary. I was filled with an upsurge of affection for every last one of them.

"I still think you're a prat," I told him carefully, my fury dissolving with every second, "but I am a _little_ impressed."

Sirius grinned, placing a hand above my head on the wall. "Admiration from you? Never thought I'd see the day."

"Yeah well, keep if you keep yourself out of Azkaban you might see it a bit more," I said huffing. I could hardly even be angry anymore. I still thought it was beyond stupid that they were breaking the law, but they were doing it for an excellent reason.

"Do the rest of them turn into dogs too?" I asked him, brow furrowed.

Sirius shook his head, "Nope, they wish they were as adorable as I am. James is a stag and Peter is a rat."

Suddenly everything clicked inside my head immediately. I wanted to kick myself for not working out quicker.

" _Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs_ ," I said shaking my head.

"You're catching on quick," Sirius said. "You see? When we're animals, Remus doesn't attack us. So we can keep him in line on the grounds and explore the forest."

"You don't mean to tell me you four go out on _the grounds_ with him?" I asked, in disbelief.

"Yeah, why?" Sirius asked, confused.

I gave him another shove. There was no way Dumbledore or McGonagall knew about this. I was sure if they did, they would have put a stop to it already.

"He's not in his right mind when he's like that, Sirius," I chided. "He could hurt someone."  
Sirius shook his head. "At three in the morning? Who do you know that's out on the grounds then? And anyway, that's why we're there. We wouldn't let him hurt anyone."

"It's still risky," I reminded him, carefully.

Sirius shrugged, "What's life without a little risk?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I still can't believe any of this. I don't know whether I want to lecture you or be proud. It's incredibly reckless, but it's brilliant, you know? The fact that you were able to manage this, even Peter, who let's be honest, doesn't really have the wand work for anything, much less this."

"Took him the longest to get it," Sirius told me, "and then at the end of all that he becomes a rat. I mean, it's handy for touching the knot on the whomping willow and all, but a rat?"

A rat. It reminded me of Lily's birthday, and that strange rat we had found in the dormitory. The one who looked like it had been _listening_ to us. The one who looked human. It all made sense now.

It had been Peter in there.

"Probably convenient for sneaking into the Girl's dormitory, huh?" I snapped at Sirius, an angry eyebrow raised.

Sirius chuckled. "Perceptive, are you? That was James idea. Thought it would get Lily's attention."

"You're lucky Rylie's cat wasn't there, or Peter might have been murdered," I told him. "He only just missed my body-bind jinx."

Sirius stared at me, mildly entertained. "You tried to jinx a _rat?_ "

"Techincally, I tried to jinx Peter Pettigrew."

Sirius' roaring laughter echoed through the tiny broom closet, sounding a thousand times louder than it normally did.

"We should go," I told him, realizing how late it was getting. "I need to find Remus before dinner."

"Remus?" Sirius repeated. "What do you need with Moony?"

I blinked at Sirius in disbelief. For a brilliant person, could he really be that thick? After that conversation, we had just had.

"I have to tell him I know, Sirius," I reminded him.

"Did you take a confundous charm to the head in the last five minutes?" Sirius asked me, feverently shaking his head. "He'll freak out. He doesn't even like the three of us knowing."

"He deserves to know, Sirius," I said firmly, "It's not fair that I walk around knowing something so personal about him, while he has no idea. How would you feel if someone knew something like that about _you?_ "

Sirius grumbled back and forth for a second and then let out a low, whining sigh, clearly realizing that I was right.

"Merlin am I not looking forward to tonight in the dormitory," Sirius sighed, reaching for the door to the broom cupboard, so we could both step out.

As we did, we almost bumped straight into a group of fifth year Hufflepuffs. Gwenog Jones, Charity Burbage, and Odie Macmillan. Each of them looked at us wide-eyed and mouth agape, practically staring. Odie looked slightly peeved off.

Charity gave the other two a quick push and they disappeared down the hall, heading the opposite way, and still throwing us furtive glances as they rounded the corner. The whole thing was very weird.

I turned to Sirius. "What was that about? Did we do something to the Hufflepuffs I don't know about?"

Sirius wore an overconfident smile plastered across his face. "Oh, come on. Don't tell me you don't know what those looks were about?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea honestly."

Sirius let out a throaty chuckle. "Meadowes, they just saw you stumble out of a broom closet with _me._ "

The cocky smile lingered on Sirius' face and it took me a couple of seconds to understand what he was implying.

"Oh no," I groaned, burying my face in my hand, realizing how it looked. "You don't think they thought we were doing something scandalous in there, do you?

"Well I don't think they thought we were talking about Moony," Sirius replied cheekily.

He walked with a skip in his step as we headed for Gryffindor tower, while I hoped the Hufflepuffs would keep their mouths closed about what they saw. I was pretty sure I would have a hard time convincing people I had been just talking to Sirius in that broom closet, and the last thing I wanted was another reason for people to think there was something going on between the two of us. We had gotten enough of that already this year.

It was still awhile to dinner, and the Common Room was packed with Gryffindors when we made our way back inside. My friends were absent, probably up in the dormitory. After I found Remus, I'd go and find them. One quick scan of the room told me Remus wasn't there. James and Peter were witting on one of the plush couches, playing with a Snitch.

"Have either of you two seen Moony?" Sirius asked them, plopping down. "Meadowes needs to talk to him.

James face lit up, as he tossed the snitch up into the air again and caught it without looking. I couldn't help but think he would have made a fair seeker too.

"Why?" James asked, "Need to confess your undying love for him, Doe?"

Peter giggled so hard his entire body shook beside him. Sirius threw a heavy velveteen pillow at his friend with a little more intensity than necessary.

"You caught me," I said, rolling my eyes at James. "It was all those late nights in the library."

James frowned. "You know, it's really no fun when you play along. This is why I need Lily. She would have answered that with a whole slew of insulting comments. My night really isn't complete until I've heard her screeching."

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you," I told him. "but a little more back to the point, have you seen Remus?"

"He was tutoring Elena Eldritch in History of Magic. He should be back any second."

"Thanks."

I decided to wait for Remus outside of the Common Room. Sitting on the floor beside the Portrait Hole. It was easier that way. We would have privacy.

He didn't show up for almost fifteen minutes, and I had to make polite, conversation with the Fat Lady about how she thought Sir Cadogen might be in love with her, while I waited.

When he did show up, he was alone. He had his bag slung on one shoulder and a stack of heavy books in the other.

"Hey, Remus!" I called to him before he gave the Fat Lady the password. "Can I have a minute?"

Remus looked a little startled. "Oh, hello Doe. I didn't see you there. Of course, you can, what's up?"

I nodded over towards one of the staircases, a good distance away from the Fat Lady and her wandering ear. She looked a little too interested in our conversation.

I was feeling a little nervous when we stopped in the alcove. I knew I had to tell Remus, but I didn't want to make him feel bad in away way. I needed to make sure he knew that this would never change my opinion about him.

"Is everything alright?" Remus asked, concerned.

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, everything's fine, I just had something I wanted to tell you, and it would be better sooner rather than later."

Remus turned a slight shade of pink, and still looked a little confused. "Oh, okay. Well go ahead."

I took a deep breath, "I just wanted to let you know that I know about..uh…" I wasn't sure how to phrase it. "…well…I know about your… _furry little problem_."

I figured that was best. That way, if anyone overheard our conversation they wouldn't know what we were talking about. From what Sirius had told me, the last thing Remus wanted was for anyone else to know.

Remus' face was completely blank as he looked at me. His cheeks burned as he blushed and his eyes fell immediately to the floor. He looked like he was in pain, and every inch of me wanted to do anything to make that go away. He didn't need to feel that way.

"Did Sirius tell you then?" he asked quietly, "or was it Lily?"

" _Lily_ knows?"

He had said the one thing I never expected him too. My best friend had known all about Remus' situation and never uttered a word.

Remus gave a grave, tiny nod. "She figured it out in second year. She didn't tell you then?"

I shook my head firmly. So, Lily had known for four years, and kept the secret from everyone, even me, who she told everything too. I was stunned, and instantly felt a great admiration for her loyalty.

"Sirius didn't tell me either," I assured him. Remus looked slightly relieved at that part, no doubt glad that his trust in his friends hadn't been misplaced.

"I worked it out on my own," I told him softly, "I just wanted to let you know, and tell you that none of it matters to me. Not in the slightest."

Remus looked up from the floor to look me directly in the eyes. Even from a few feet away, I could see the pain that was buried in them.

"How can it not bother you?" he asked quietly. "Knowing you're in the same house as someone like me? Sleeping under the same roof as someone _dangerous._ _Diseased._ "

"I don't think of it that way," I told him honestly. "And I don't think you should either. You're one of the kindest, most reliable people I've ever met. I'm proud to be your housemate. This doesn't change that in the slightest. If anything, I think more of you. It takes quite a bit of bravery to live through something like that. It's very Gryffindor."

Remus stared back at me in complete astonishment. It took him a few moments before he said anything else. Behind him, I could see most of Gryffindor passing through the Portrait Hole and heading for dinner.

"Thank you for saying that," Remus said after a moment, his eyes locked on mine. "It means more than I can express." His eyes filled slightly with tears and he did his best to blink them back for I noticed. "I didn't think that people outside of my friends would be capable of that kind of thinking. You and Lily have both given me something to hold onto."

"Don't even think on it," I told him, giving the most comforting smile I could muster, and placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Come on," I encouraged him brightly. "Let's go get dinner, okay? Before all the good roast is gone."

Remus gave me a small smile and the two of us headed to the Great Hall together, talking about his tutoring session with Elena Eldritch. When we made it to the Great Hall, we separated and Remus went to sit with the other Marauders.

"Hey Doe?" He called softly before he did.

"Yeah, Remus?"

"Thank you," he said again and then headed for the open spot between James and Peter.  
I felt a tremendous weight lift off of my shoulders as I headed for my usual spot bedside Lily glad that I was able to comfort Remus, even if it was in such a small way. No one should ever be made to feel alone.

My friends were deep in conversation when I arrived. All across the table, people were pushed together in hushed conversations, barely above a whisper.

"There you are," Marlene said excitedly, surveying me with enthusiastic eyes "now you can confirm this yourself."

I slid the plate of food in front of me closer, feeling ravenous. "Confirm what?"

When it came to Marlene, it was always better to assume the worst.

"Marlene," Mary sighed softly, throwing me a sympathetic, sheepish look.

"Nothing," Lily told me, giving Marlene, a specific pointed look. "It's none of _our_ business anyway."

From the look that passed between the two of them, I knew they had been talking about me before I had sat down. A tiny flurry of worry whistled through me at the thought of that.

"Like hell it's not," Marlene told her firmly. "Doe is _our_ best friend. We have every right to ask her."

"Yes, but it's Doe's choice if she wants us to know about things like that!"

"Ask me what?" I asked, as Lily rested her head on the table.

Marlene threw a triumphant look at Lily and then turned back to me, "Charity Burbage told Lily that she and Odie Macmillan saw you and Sirius leaving a broom closet _together._ "

I sighed loudly taking a large drink from my goblet of pumpkin juice. "It's not what it looked like."

"So, it's _true_?" Mary asked, wide eyed. She and Marlene exchanged a look.

I shook my head. "It's _not_ what you two are thinking. We were just talking. Nothing else."

Even I was having trouble believing myself. It was strange enough for Sirius Black to have a female friend, let alone believe he would be in a broom closet and not doing something very Sirius like.

"So you were In a broom closet," Marlene repeated, "With Sirius Black? And just _talking?_ " Even her giggle was suggestive.

"Yes."

"Okay, Doe."

The way she said it made it very clear she didn't believe me. Which wasn't altogether surprising, considering the facts. I just hoped to change the conversation.

"What's everyone talking about?" I asked, nodding at the clustered groups of whispering people. It was almost quiet in here, a rarity for the Great Hall.

"They're talking about what you and Sirius got up to in the Broom Closet," Marlene said wiggling her eyebrows.

"Ignore her," Lily said quietly, holding her head between her hands like she was nursing some kind of headache. "they're talking about Maddox Oates."

"Maddox Oates?" I asked quietly, "That's the Ravenclaw third year whose parents own that astronomy shop in Diagon Alley."

I'd been to there once the summer before third year when my brass telescope was melted by a potion gone wrong. It had also incarnated half of Marlene's scales.

" _Did_ own," Marlene added quietly, barely above a whisper. "They found them in the shop this morning. Dead."

I felt my heart plummet as I pictured Maddox Oates face. He wasn't sitting at the Ravenclaw table, and I knew he was somewhere deep in a waist-high pool of grief and stress.

"Poor Maddox," I said, shaking my head. 'What happened?"

"What do you think happened?" Marlene said darkly, pushing her plate of food away from her, clearly having lost her appetite. "It was Death Eaters."

Beside her, Mary was clutching her fork so tightly her hand was flushing red with blood. "They were both Muggleborn," she pointed out, frustrated.

"Oh."

Lily met my eyes carefully. "How have they not caught You-Know-Who yet?" she asked, shaking her head exasperatedly. "I don't understand. They know he's doing these things, and encouraging others to do them. How can they not _find_ him?"

Marlene moved closer to Lily, dropping her voice to the lightest whisper she could. "It's not that they can't _find_ him, Lily. It's that he's too powerful. He's one of the greatest sorcerer's in the world. He can remain undetected for as long as he wants to be that way."

"Albus Dumbledore is the greatest sorcerer in the world," I reminded Marlene carefully, "As long as we have him. I don't care who this You-Know-Who is or what he's done. We'll find a way to stop him."

"I wish I believed that," Mary said quietly, her dark eyes lit with mistrust and malice. "The way things are looking now, it's only going to get worse."

She stabbed the potato in front of her with a strange amount of force for Mary's normally well-mannered attitude. It was clear that this was really getting to her. I worried I may have underestimated how much it was. Was there something we should be doing? Lily was staring her down, clearly thinking along the same lines.

"We'll figure this out," Lily said firmly. "We have too. It's what's right."

Marlene offered her the smallest smile she could muster and Mary didn't take her eyes off her plate.

The gravity of the situation wasn't lost on anyone. Every student in the Great Hall was Maddox Oates that night.

* * *

A bitter, miserable wind ripped through the grounds on the morning of Valentine's day. It was the kind of forbidding chill that ran deep into your bones and made you shiver the whole time you felt it. I had to layer two t-shirts, a sweater and a coat before I could head out onto the grounds. My fingers were laced in gloves, and a thick woolen hat sat on top of my hair, and even through the all of that the cold felt like a cruel, unavoidable bite.

"Merlin's beard, it's freezing out here," Mary swore breathing into her hands as headed down to the pitch, tucking all of her black hair under a blue knit beanie. "How important is this match to you?"

"You can always go back to the castle, Mare," I told her chuckling, watching as her mouth turned down into a frown.

Crowds of other students were already climbing the steep path towards the stands in front of us, all of them complaining about the weather too. We followed close behind them, huddling together for warmth.

"What with all the couple gathered together for Valentine's day?" Mary asked, firmly shaking her head. "No way. And anyway, the whole Gryffindor team will probably be in the stands today anyway. Maybe I can talk to Landon."

The unfortunate combination of Quidditch and Valentine's day had lessened the amount of people who would turn up for the match. While all of Ravenclaw and Slytherin would be there, along with the die-hard Quidditch fans, most of the couples of Hogwarts had scampered off to find something romantic to do.

Marlene had made it her mission to spend the day with Wilmington Grove, and Lily was off enjoying her second date with Amos Diggory.

It was almost a good thing that this had happened so quickly. The entire castle needed a pick me up after what had happened to Maddox Oates

"Sounds like a plan," I told Mary, following behind a pair of overly enthusiastic Ravenclaws.

"Oi! Doe!" Otto Bagman called loudly as he trotted over with Gideon and Fabian Prewett, "See you braved the cold for the match?"

All three of them had blue and silver war paint under their eyes, clearly showing their support for Ravenclaw.

"You think a little wind chill would stop me?" I asked, shaking my head to display my disappointment. "I'm saddened you think so little of me."

Otto and Gideon chuckled, and Fabian raised one even ginger eyebrow. Side by side it was strange how different the two of them looked, even as twins. Gideon's hair was loose and past his shoulders, while Fabian's was so short you couldn't see it from underneath his hat. They were both so tall and muscular it made even Otto look small.

"I doubt sheet and hail would stop you from watching a Quidditch match," Gideon told me, cracking a smile.

"It wouldn't," I told him confidently, blushing slightly at his attention. "I'd cast a weather repellent charm and be on my way."

"Cold, Macdonald?" Fabian asked, as Mary jumped up and down for warmth besides us. Her cheeks were flushed with pink and she flinched every time the wind blew by us.

"Miserably," she replied.

"Come on," Otto said gesturing towards the stands, "Let's go get some seats before the good ones are gone, and then Macdonald can get warm."

Mary and I followed the three of them up into the stands and climbed the heavy wooden staircases in tandem.

I spent every Quidditch match at Hogwarts sitting around and talking with Otto and Gideon, by now we were the usual group of spectators.

"Couldn't get Krysten and Nora to come?" I asked Otto as we climbed upward, ducking to avoid the House banners that were slapping through the wind at full force.

Otto snorted, "Right. I can barely get Krysten and Nora out here for Gryffindor matches, let alone Ravenclaw and Slytherin."

"That's like Marlene," Mary said, shaking her head. "She only shows up when she can flash a little Gryffindor pride."

"Ah, McKinnon," Otto moaned, "Merlin, I'd love to hang around her a bit more."

"Wouldn't we all, Bagman. Wouldn't we all," Fabian chuckled, pushing open the tent flap of the stands. Gideon didn't say anything.

When we got there, most of Gryffindor was already there. All of the Gryffindor house team, apart from Sirius, was sitting down on the front most bench together, talking loudly and passing around a flask of something I didn't think was Pumpkin Juice. Fabian joined them, and Landon waved Mary over to sit with them, something she looked delighted about. I sat between Gideon and Otto.

Remus and Peter were leaning against the wooden posts on the stands looking exhausted, and a little bored. I flashed Remus a wide smile, which he happily returned. I was glad that nothing seemed to have changed between him and I, now that I knew about his secret.

The more I thought about it, I realized that tomorrow was a full moon. Maybe that was why he looked so exhausted. I hoped everything would go all right. I'd have to remind myself to warn Sirius to be careful.

"If Slytherin wins, I'm going to throw myself off of the stands," Otto complained, as he watched the Slytherin stand gleefully displaying encouraging posters.

"If you don't want to die, I recommend Arresto Momentum," I added happily.

Gideon chuckled, "Good tip."

"I thought so."

We spent the next few minutes talking about Ravenclaws chances of winning while the rest of the stands filled up with other students. James and Landon were the loudest, coming up with nasty chants to yell at the Slytherins.

"You know the longer they go at that, the better they get," Gideon whispered to me, smiling as he listened to the increasing volume of James and Landon's chants.

"I still don't think they can get away with _Slytherin_ and _Villain_ in the same line though," I told him smirking.

"You have to give them credit for trying," Gideon chuckled. "They're dedicated, if nothing else."

My cheeks burned bright pink as I smiled, and I hoped I could use the weather as an excuse for it. But the skipping my heart was doing had nothing to do with the cold.

"I hope someone knocks Wilkes off his broom," Hestia seethed quietly from in front us, stroking her nose with the tips of her finger. "I'm still not over that bludger."

"Kyla Davies and Barty Crouch both have wicked arms," Landon told her. "Let's hope they use them."

"From your lips to Merlin's ears," Fabian added hopefully.

There was a loud clunking as someone else stalked their way up the stairs and appeared in the frame of the stands.

"There you are, Padfoot!" James said dramatically, "I was about to send Wormtail after you!"

"Wormtail? That would have been interesting," Sirius said plopping down in front of Gideon and I, "Dawn Whitely needed a bit of company on this momentous holiday, and me being the generous man I am, was happy to oblige."

"Using lonely girls to your advantage on Valentine's Day?" I asked, slightly entertained.

Sirius beamed. "That's the best part of this made-up holiday, Meadowes. Well, that and Quidditch."

The professors were all taking a seat in their stands and Emmeline had joined them, taking her usual seat in front of the microphone.

Even bundled up in several layers, she was still getting whistles from some of the older male students.

"You know, Emmeline is surprisingly non-irritating for a Slytherin," Landon said quietly, watching as Emmeline chatted happily with Professor McGonagall.

"Watch what you say about my best friend," Hestia reminded him sternly, her eyes narrowing so much her long eyelashes scraped against her cheekbones.

"I only said good things," Landon told her holding his hands up defensively. He may have been Quidditch Captain, but even knew not to get on Hestia's bad side.

Hestia nodded, "And that's all you better say."

Otto sighed, watching them talk, his eyes locked on Hestia like a dog with a bone. "What a woman."

Gideon let out a low sigh and rolled his eyes at his friend, "Let it go, mate."

"That's new," I whispered quietly to Gideon. "he likes Hestia now?"

Gideon leaned back so that Otto couldn't hear what he was saying. "Otto's obsessed with Hestia. Always has been with, always will be. It's Hestia who never gives him the time of day."

"Poor Otto," I whispered. He was yet another Gryffindor boy hopelessly in love with one of his housemates. Maybe he and James should start a support group.

Gideon looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn't get the opportunity. The Slytherin players had flown onto the pitch and had commanded the attention of their entire house, who burst into loud cheers as they did. Cheering the loudest for their captain and for Regulus Black.

"You know Sirius," Hestia said, not taking her eyes off the pitch. "Even though he's an elitist blood-status obsessed prick, your brother is sort of easy on the eyes. Decent Quidditch player too." Otto groaned at her words.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at his teammate. "Did that bludger affect your _vision_ , Hestia? He's not nearly as attractive as I am." Sirius lazily kicked his feet up onto the stand in front of him, and tucked his arms behind his head.

"He might even be less arrogant than you are," Hestia added, shaking her head. Sirius winked at her in response.

The Ravenclaw players emerged onto the pitch next, to a cacophonous greeting from two thirds of the stands. It was clear who most of the school was supporting.

The ensuing match was one of the nastiest games of Quidditch I ever watched. True to their nature, the Slytherin team seemed much more interested in injuring the Ravenclaw team than actually scoring any points of their own.

Otto, Gideon and I spent half the match screaming the most disgusting things we could come up with at the Slytherin players, while the Gryffindor House Team screamed for fouls.

It got so horrific, that Professor McGonagall kept ripping the microphone from Emmeline so she couldn't announce any more of the bloodshed. There was hardly a Ravenclaw player still in the air that wasn't beaten up or bloodied. It made Hestia's broken nose look like a tiny blemish.

"Why aren't they putting a stop to this?" Landon demanded, slamming his hands down on either side of him. "If _we_ were playing like that, McGonagall would have grabbed a broom of her own and ripped every last one of us from the skies."

"You expect Slughorn to step in?" James snorted, "Right. That barmy old git thinks Slytherins are _misunderstood."_

Elijah Wilkes sent another bludger at Rolanda Hooch, the fourth one this match, and everyone around me swore. Even Emmeline swore softly into the microphone before Professor McGonagall's gloved hand covered it.

"Another one at Rolanda?" I demanded furiously. "She's a decent chaser but why are they singling her out?"

Hestia and Gideon exchanged a quick look over my shoulder, their eyebrows furrowed. Like there was something very obvious that I was missing.

Landon and James exchanged a look too, and I realized I everyone seemed to be aware of something that I wasn't.

"What?" I asked, suddenly feeling very stupid. "What am I missing?"

Sirius was the only one who seemed willing to share that information with me. He leaned backwards towards me and told me with a very even, face.

"Hooch is the only Muggleborn on the team, Meadowes," Sirius said carefully, "and they're playing Slytherin. The whole lot of them are Pureblood and want the whole pitch to know it."

I ground my teeth together my fingers digging into the wood of the bench I sat on.

"Those inbred, ignorant, aresholes," I hissed quietly, feeling the rage beating through me like blood.

Everyone around me burst into quick, quiet laughter, while I seethed silently beside them.

"Doe Meadowes summing up Slytherin House in four words or less," James chuckled, turning back to the rest of the match.

The Slytherins continued to fight dirty, but the Ravenclaw players refused to let them gain an inch. Slytherin didn't score a single goal in the next hour, while Ravenclaw scored six. It got to the point where everyone was desperate for someone, _anyone_ to catch the snitch just so that the Ravenclaw players could stop getting smacked repeatedly by bludgers.

"Where are the beaters?" Gideon asked loudly, his head resting on his hands, as his brow furrowed sadly.

"That's what happens when you have subpar beaters," Fabian said confidently, ducking before his brother could smack him in the back of his head.

Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. "Here, here. Prewett."

"This is getting hard to watch," Otto sighed, as Rolanda Hooch narrowly missed another bludger shot her way.

"It was hard to watch an hour ago," James added. "Now it's getting nauseating."

Regulus was circling the pitch on his broom a hundred feet up in the air, while Damocles Belby was searching only a few feet above the ground.

"Someone find the snitch," I whispered desperately.

As if answering my words, Belby shot forward at an incredible speed. His eyes were locked on something no one from the stands could see, but we all jumped to our feet anyway.

Regulus Black had seen whatever it was that Belby had seen and plummeted down from the air like a bludger, speeding towards it so fast it looked like he would crash into the ground. It was a testament to how fast his broom was that he had even made it anywhere near Belby. Now they were both racing towards the snitch. Neck and Neck.

"Come on Belby!" I screamed, "Catch it!"

Belby and Black were inches from one another, both of their hands reaching for the little golden ball. Emmeline Vance had a pair of omnioculars pressed to her eyes as she announced, her vision sharper and clearer than the rest of ours.

"And… BELBY HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH!"

It felt like the entire stadium screamed. The Ravenclaws, while usually quiet and respectful, screamed louder than I had ever heard.

"Thank Godric," Otto said as we all rose from our seats. "I couldn't take it if Slytherin had won."

Hestia was grinning. "Our Emerald Enemies certainly don't look very pleased, do they?"

That was an understatement. The Slytherins were all swearing, shouting at the Ravenclaw players and flying around the pitch in anger.

I didn't want to hang around and watch the Slytherins shout slurs at the Ravenclaw players, so Mary and I followed the crowd of Gryffindors out of the pitch and back towards the castle.

"That seemed more like an MMA fight than a Quidditch Match," Mary said shaking her head. "There not always like that, are they?"

"Almost never," I told her shaking my head. "It's the Slytherins, they fight mean."

"They _are_ mean," Mary said, shaking her head. "You should hear the things they shout at me in the corridors. It would make your skin crawl."

She shuddered again as we followed the other back into the castle. Otto, Gideon and Fabian were talking excitedly about the match behind us, and we had somehow ended up several feet behind the Marauders.

We took the short way to Gryffindor tower, wondering when Lily would finish up her date with Amos or what broom closet Marlene was holed up in.

"Personally, I don't really get what Marlene sees in Wilmington Grove," Mary said as we walked, "Baxter Thornbottle is much cuter, and he's not as snarky as Wil."

Several felt in front of us, the Marauders had stopped dead in their tracks, their voices carrying as they shouted at a group of people in front of them. It only took a moment to realize who it was. They were bickering with Severus, flanked by Sebastian Mulciber and Thomas Nott. All of them had their wands drawn.

All of the color immediately drained from Mary's face, as she took in the group of Slytherins. They were the same ones who were always giving her trouble. I could see the fear building in her wide, dark eyes.

"How long has Severus been hanging out with _them?"_ she whispered nervously, her eyes locked on Mulciber. "I mean I know he's always been into dark things, but those two? They're future Death Eaters if I've ever seen them."

"I wonder if Lily knows he's hanging around them," I asked her, stopping so that we didn't bump straight into the fight that was about to break about. We had already stumbled close enough, and I knew how Severus got when he was with the Slytherins.

"Maybe we should all just take a minute, and calm down," Remus suggested loudly, everyone ignored him.

Severus snapped something back, but we couldn't hear what it was. Mary and I slowly crept closer so we could hear.

"…. right, like I'd take advice from you Snivellus..." James snapped, answering something we hadn't heard.

"Don't listen to him, Prongs," Sirius said arrogantly. "I wouldn't take advice from someone who doesn't know how to bath properly. What didn't your mum ever teach you to wipe the grease from your face Snivelly?"

I felt my chest tighten sadly as I heard Sirius' words. I didn't know what Severus had said to them first, but I absolutely hated when Sirius treated him like that. It made him sound like a bully. Like one of the Slytherins.

Severus' eyes narrowed, "You want to talk about mums, Black?" he hissed angrily, his hook-nose pointing at the floor, and his eyes sparkling with a hatred I had never before seen in his eyes, "Because from the stories Regulus tells in the Common Room, you don't have a mum. She can't _stand_ you."

Sirius had already drawn his wand, and he raised it at Severus, his upper lip curling. Snape had drawn his wand too and their two spells rang out at the same time, both beams of light hitting one another at the same time.

 _"_ _PETRIFCUS TOTALES!"_

 _"_ _SECTUMSEMPRA!"_

"Get down," I hissed to Mary, yanking her down by the shoulder, and ducking behind the concrete bench, to avoid being hit by any escaping spells. I couldn't believe how brazen both of them where. A duel in the middle of the corridor? Were they trying to get kicked out of Hogwarts?

Snape had used a spell I had never even heard of. Merlin knows what it did. Their spells missed one another and they both kept their wands raised ready to try again.

Mary looked up at me, wide eyed, " _What_ are they doing? Are they trying to kill one another?" She was crouched behind the bench, not taking her eyes off of Mulciber or Nott.

"I have no idea," I said shaking my head. "They're acting ridiculous."

Luckily for everyone involved, the astronomy professor, Professor Selvetica, rounded the corner and prevented them from killing one another.

"What is going on here?" Professor Selvetica demanded, looking at the seven of them, wands drawn.

"Nothing, Professor," Mulciber said evenly, more charming than I had ever heard him speak to anyone.

The Slytherins cast one more fleeting look at the Marauders and disappeared, Severus waiting the longest, making sure to sneer at every last one of them.

Sirius was shaking with anger when he finally rounded the corner. None of the Marauders even noticed Mary or I as they walked by, they were talking in flushed, angry voices.

All we heard was Sirius, white faced and shaking with anger say, "I'm going to make Snivellus _pay._ "

They stalked back towards the Common Room without another word. When they were gone Mary turned to me, speechless. "What do you think all that was about?"

I knew exactly what _that_ was about. Severus had picked directly at one of the few wounds that would get to Sirius, his family. But I couldn't tell Mary that. Sirius had trusted me with that information.

So, I shrugged, and lied, ignoring the pit that was forming in my stomach as I said, "I don't know, Mary."

* * *

I had been planning on doing my best to forget about what I had seen between Severus and the Marauders, but Mary refused to let it go. She had talked my ear off about it the entire way to the Common Room, and for hours after, asking me and over what I had thought it was about, and if I thought Mulciber or Nott would do anything else to the Marauders. I knew why it was bothering her so much, nothing scared her more than Mulciber and the rest of those blood-status obsessed bigots, but I couldn't really talk about it without betraying Sirius, and that was something I wouldn't do. Luckily, Mary had immediately stopped talking about when we met up with Marlene and Lily after dinner. I had no idea why, but the second Lily had appeared, Mary had dropped the topic without a second thought. I didn't see Sirius or the other Marauders for the rest of the night. Whatever had happened with the Slytherins had clearly caused something among them, because they had spent the rest of the night in their dormitory, not even coming down for dinner. And from the look of irritation on Caradoc Dearborn's face, it was clear they had unceremoniously kicked him out the room.

I didn't see Sirius again until early the next morning. I had decided to get up early and curl up in one the squishy vacant armchairs with my advanced Charms book, taking advantage of an empty Common Room, when Sirius stalked down the boy's staircase in his clunky boots, yawning loudly and pulling his hair into a knot.

"Meadowes?" he asked sleepily. "Blimey, I didn't think anyone would be up this early."

I raised my book and shrugged. "The library's not open yet, and I wanted to read without the soundtrack of my roommate's snores."

Sirius grinned and plopped down in the chair next to mine. "Which one snores? My golds on McKinnon."

"Well it's mostly Mary, sorry to disappoint."

Sirius shrugged and kicked his legs up over one of the wings of the chair, almost knocking over one of the iron lamps as he did.

I was actually glad that he was awake. I hadn't seen him since yesterday and I had about a thousand questions racing through my mind about what Mary and I had seen in the corridor.

"I didn't see much of you yesterday," I said, broaching the topic carefully, "after you almost killed Snape and Mulciber in the corridor."

"You where there?" he asked suspiciously, scanning my face for any sign of a lie.

He must have been completely wrapped up in whatever was happening to have not noticed that either Mary or I were there. That made me nervous.

"Both me and Mary were there," I told him, "Not that I expected you to notice with your wand drawn."

"It was necessary," Sirius said through clenched teeth, all traces of happiness wiped from his face. "Snivellus needs to learn a lesson. Or did you not see him try out a homemade spell on me? Or the future Death Eaters he was hanging out with."

Fire and hatred was practically spitting from his mouth as he talked about Snape and his friends. Whatever dislike there was between the two of them ran deep. The hatred etched into Sirius' features looked out of place on his normally easy-going persona.

I gave him a knowing look. "I _did_ see it, but the mature thing to do would be to ignore it, and move on."

Even as I said it, I knew it was hopeless. Sirius, and James for that matter, were not the kind to forget anything. Especially when it came to Severus.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "When have you ever known me to do the mature thing?"

"I guess I just hoped you would."

Sirius let out a barking laugh. "Not likely. And anyway, it's far too early to talk about Snivellus," He actually sneered as he uttered the name. "I'm officially changing the topic. You know I had Odie Macmillan come up to me, wand all in a not, about seeing me with you in the broom closet?" he asked cheekily. "Seems someone might have a thing for you, Meadowes."

"We're not discussing the broom closet," I warned him, "I already had to convince Marlene, _one of my best friends_ , that I'm not lying about what happened in there, so I couldn't care less what Odie Macmillan has to say about it."

Sirius beamed, any traces of irritation absent from his expression. "You know what, Meadowes? I find it highly entertaining that I even get credit for charming girls I haven't. You've already been mentally added to the list of my conquests in Macmillan's eyes and I haven't even laid a finger on you. Of course, that could always change you know. Got any plans for tonight?" he joked, wiggling his eyebrows salaciously.

I ignored his salacious joke and raised an eyebrow at him. "Speaking of tonight, you lot will be careful, won't you? Ever since you told me about your little monthly excursions I've been worrying like mad."

The idea of the four of them out on the grounds, running around as animals had haunted me with fear from the moment I had heard it. I had had at least three nightmares about it since. I couldn't shake how reckless and stupid it was. If even one person got hurt…

"You worry too much," Sirius said shaking his head, "You're going to get premature wrinkles. We do this all the time, Meadowes. It's going to be fine. Tonight, _especially._ "

Tonight, _especially?_ The way he said it was odd, like there was some secret he wasn't letting me in on. I decided not to ask. I didn't want to know anymore Marauders business than I already did. Krysten Morris and Nora Tenenbaum interrupted the conversation, stumbling down the girl's staircase, giggling loudly about something that involved Fabian Prewett, and Sirius took the opportunity to ruffle my hair and dip out of the Common Room, able to avoid elaborating on whatever ambiguous thing he was talking about. I just hoped whatever it was, it wasn't anything dangerous. The Marauders had risked enough lately.

The day was an easy-going one. Everyone was tired from the eventful day before, and the grounds were still too cold to hang out on, so most of the school was coped up in the Castle.

Lily was working on a potion for a contest Slughorn had entered in her in, and had hence gotten permission to spend the entire afternoon in the empty Potions classroom sitting in front of the steamy cauldron, adding lace wing flies and unicorn tears when needed. Mary, Marlene and I joined her, keeping her company while she tending to the potion. We had already been there for a few hours and watched Lily's potion change color three different times. The girl could do things with a cauldron that I had never even seen before. Gifted didn't begin to describe it.

"I still think it's a little strange to be in here with absolutely no supervision," Marlene said, lifting herself into a sitting position on Slughorn's desk. "I mean we could be up to _anything_ in here and he'd never know."

"He trusts _me_ ," Lily said, dumping a vile of crushed beetles into her cauldron. "And I'm rusting you, so behave."

Marlene shook her long, honey hair at Lily. "Whatever you say, _Mum._ "

Mary and I sniggered from the shared double desk, where we were playing a rousing game of Gobstones, one which Mary was beating me at miserably.

"I am a little shocked you didn't ask Severus to keep you company," Marlene said sliding off the end of the desk and riffling through one of Slughorn's drawers.

"Severus said he was too busy to help me today," Lily said, a slight bitterness to her voice. "Something to do with his other friends."

She stirred her potion slightly angrily, as if this was bothering her more than she let on.

Mary's eyes immediately met mine, and she raised a dark eyebrow. I knew she was thinking about yesterday, and Severus' newfound friends.

" _Other_ friends?" Marlene asked in shock, a cruel giggle slipping through her teeth. "What other friends. Every time I ever Snivellus he's with you or by himself."

"Marlene," Lily said warningly, "Please don't call him that."

Marlene looked like she wanted to roll her eyes but refrained and took a deep breath, "Fine. Snape, then. I'm just surprised he had any other friends."

Lily shrugged, "I don't know much about them, but I think it might be good he had friends in his house. I always worry about him not adjusting to Slytherin. It might be good to have him branch out a little and make time for other people."

"You mean so he's not so obsessed with _you_?" Marlene asked cheekily, practically skipping across the classroom.

"I just want him to be happy, Marley," Lily said carefully. "He was the first friend I ever made besides Tuney. I don't want him to ever feel alone, and I don't even mind if his new friends are Slytherins as long as their kind."

Marlene snorted, and dropped her voice so that only Mary and I could hear her as she passed. "Right, _kind_ Slytherins. Only one I ever met was Emmeline, and I don't think she's running around with _Snivellus."_

I could feel the guilt eating the inside of my chest, and from the look on Mary's face, I could tell she was feeling something similar.

I knew I had to say something. It wouldn't be fair to let Lily walk around without knowing that Snape was friends with vile people. People who openly despised her and people like her. People who if given the chance would want her _gone_.

"Lily," I said quietly. "Mary and I ran into Snape yesterday, and well…we saw him hanging around with Nott and Mulciber."

There was silence in the room for a second as Lily's bright, green eyes widened in shock, and the vial of iguana eyelids went crashing to the floor.

"He was with _Mulciber?_ " she asked, her mouth agape with surprise, her eyes darting to Mary for a moment. "Are you sure, Doe?"

I could see the upset forming on her face. Mulciber was one of the worst kinds of Slytherins there were. He had spent the better part of his five years at Hogwarts ridiculing and torturing any Muggleborn he could find. He threw around the M word so much it made Elizabeth and Narcissa look enlightened. I could imagine how much it hurt her to know Snape was willingly spending time with him.

I nodded earnestly. "I'm positive. We saw them dueling with the Marauders in the corridor, and it was getting kind of heated."

Lily thrust an entire vial into her potion and took to stirring it very forcefully. Her eyes were narrowed and she seemed to be wiping at them, as if she expected tears to come.

"That is _not_ okay," she said softly, her voice cracking as she stared down at the cauldron in front of her. "He can't hang around people like that."

"Maybe he isn't," I suggested, trying to make her feel better. "Maybe it was a one-time thing." I stroked the top of her red hair comfortingly.

A small smile replaced Lily's pout. "Yeah, I hope so."

In front of us, Marlene was still rifling through the drawers of Slughorn's desk with enthusiasm, levitating stacks of books off the top of it.

"What _are_ you doing, Marlene?" I asked slightly entertained, as she attempted to balance everything she was levitating.

Marlene blinked at me. "I'm searching for the answers to our potions O.W.L." she said as if it had been obvious.

Lily and I both let out a little chuckle, as Marlene continued rifling through Slughorn's things, impressively leaving them as if she had never touched them to begin with.

"Do you really think Slughorn would be daft enough to leave them lying around for a student to find?" I asked her, as frowned at a blank leaflet or parchment.

"I'm hoping so," Marlene said. "Meredith once found a set of answers to her Potions final in Slughorn's desk."

"But that's a final, not an O.W.L." Mary reminded her. "It's different."

Marlene crossed her arms, her wand sticking it out ominously. "Fine, don't help me," she said, "But when I do find the answers, I'm going to share them with every other Gryffindor and not you."

"I think I might like to earn my grade," I told her, crossing my legs on the desk. "I don't think cheating would qualify me for a job in the auror office."

"Or for Minstra of Magic," Lily added quickly, her lofty ambitions written dreamily on her face.

Marlene sighed. "Do you two always have to have the moral compass of a Hufflepuff?" she asked. She closed the drawers of Slughorn's desk and abandoned her quest, plopping down in his chair.

"Anyhow," Marlene said kicking her feet up onto the desk, "Back to talking about the blokes we like, how was your date with Amos, Lils? You hardly told us anything about it."

Lily turned a slightly darker shade of pink and suddenly became very busied with stirring her potion, while Mary let out a low sigh.

"When were we talking about the blokes we liked?" I asked Marlene.

"We weren't" Mary said quickly, "It's just Marlene's favorite topic of conversation."

Marlene beamed at her, " I do love that you know me so well, Macdonald. So Come on Lils, ut with it."

Lily didn't move her eyes from her potion. "Well, I like him well enough. He's nice and he plans sweet things,"

" _But_ ," Mary said reading the slight hesitation in her voice. Lily blushed harder.

"I don't know," Lily said slightly exasperated, resting her head on one of her hands. "Maybe I'm just being a little paranoid, but it doesn't feel like it fits quite right. Like I don't have the feeling that you're supposed to get when you really like someone. It should feel like butterflies, right?"

"Not necessarily," Marlene told her, inspecting one of her nails. "It always feels a little different. That's sort of the nature of love and relationships. Have you ever felt butterflies before?"

Lily shook her head, "No, I don't think so"

Marlene nodded her head, "Then see? Maybe you're just being too harsh. Not everyone will be a soulmate. Sometimes it's just fun to get to know someone you like."

Lily nodded eagerly at Marlene and turned to me and Mary. "What do you guys think?"

I could feel the blush creeping back onto my cheeks, "I don't think I'm the right person to ask, Lily. I'm not an expert on that subject by any means."

"Me either," Mary added quickly, her eyes dropping to the floor. I wondered idly if she was thinking about Landon. The blush that crept slowly onto her cheeks certainly seemed to make me think so.

"I think I'm going to give it a little while before I make any rash decisions," Lily said firmly, "and anyway. He is nice, and that's what's important, right?"

"That," Marlene said, "And he's bloody gorgeous."

Lily rolled her eyes and chuckled at Marlene and she made a crude hand gesture behind her back. We spent most of the evening in the Potions classroom, as Lily's potion couldn't be left alone for several hours. We talked most of the time, and when we got really bored, we took turns summoning the heaviest objects in the room to see whose charm was the strongest. Marlene and I even went to the Great Hall to bring dinner back to the classroom, levitating four of plates of food and a pitcher of pumpkin juice across the castle without breaking a sweat.

"Wish that was going to be on our O.W.L.s" Marlene had said when we dropped them in front of our friends, "because that was bloody impressive."

It was just after curfew when the Potion as finally ready to be left unattended.

Right as we were cleaning up, Slughorn popped into the classroom, slightly tossed from his dinner wine, with a hand on his round belly.

"Ah! Miss Evans," he chortled jovially, "Working dutifully on your submission I see. It warms my heart to see you so dedicated to your potion-brewing."

"Of course, Sir," Lily said proudly, "I think this may be my best one yet, though Polyjuice Potion is dreadfully tricky. Hopefully it will be good enough to beat the submission from Beauxbatons."

"You're brewing Polyjuice Potion?' Marlene asked from her spot in Slughorn's plush chair, her legs still thrown over the desk, "Merlin, I would have paid more attention to what you were doing if I'd known that."

Slughorn cast a look at the other three of us in the room, like he hadn't been expecting us to be there at all.

Lily had assured us that Slughorn had given us permission to be there, but he seemed to have forgotten.

"Ms. McKinnon, Ms. Meadowes, and Ms. Macdonald, how are you three?" Slughorn asked, "Helping Ms. Evans with her potion?"

"Lily doesn't need help Professor," I reminded him. "We're mostly here for moral support and encouragement, or in case she sets the classroom on fire."

Professor Slughorn let out a little chuckle, "Oh Ms. Meadowes, your little jokes are always such a pleasure."

He cast a look over at Marlene sitting at his desk and blinked quickly, raising an eyebrow at her, that she returned with a winning McKinnon smile.

He didn't say anything and just turned back to Lily. "Your potion should be fine for this evening Ms. Evans if you four would like to head back to your dormitory.

"Thank you, Professor," Lily said, cleaning up her workspace with one flick of her wand. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Professor Slughorn levitated Lily's Cauldron to an empty side of the counter where it wouldn't be disturbed and we headed for the dormitory. It was only slightly past curfew and Lily assured us that we wouldn't be in trouble as long as we told them where we had been.

We were halfway to the Common Room, when I realized I had left my wand on one of the empty desks.

"Dammit," I swore, checking my pockets as we approached the portrait of the Fat Lady. "I left my wand in the potions classroom."

"We have Potions in the morning," Lily reminded me, "we could get it then."

I shook my head. I never liked to be without my wand. I didn't know if it was because of what happened to my parents, but not having it left me feeling defenseless and frightened.

Even for a night, it still felt too risky. It would be easier just for me to go and get it.

"I'm just going to run and grab it, okay?" I told them. "If any Professors stop me I'll tell them the truth."

"We'll wait for you in the Common Room," Marlene told me, "We we're thinking about reading the newest Witch Weekly by the fire if it's not too crowded."

It wasn't too late yet, only a few minutes past ten. The Common Room should still be full of people, and I doubted any Professor would give me a detention given the situation.  
"Okay I'll meet you there in a minute," I told them and headed back towards the direction of the dungeons.

The castle was weirdly serene at night, it wasn't quite late enough for the inhabitants of the portraits to be asleep yet, but there wasn't a single other live person in sight. It was sort of nice to see, although I was too anxious without my wand to enjoy it much. I walked at a quick pace, keeping my eyes open as I headed down the stairs towards Slughorn's room. The last thing I needed was to run into a Slytherin, unarmed.

It was freezing down in the dungeons, and darker than the rest of the castle, creating an ominous atmosphere that made me a little nervous.

I reached for the door to the Potions classroom and wrenched the handle only to find it locked. I groaned and slammed my hand down on the dark wooden door. One little charm and I could have it open in seconds, but of course I didn't have my wand.

I fiddled with the door again, doing my best to jiggle the lock open, but it remained unmoving. Stuck.

Frustrated, I kicked the bottom of the door.

"Stupid, locked door," I swore softy, frowning at the large iron lock.

Too quickly for me to even realize, a large, thin hand clasped around my waist, and a body pressed against my back. The mouth attached purred into the shell of my ear, "I could help you with that if you'd like."  
I stiffened, knowing exactly who it was. The one person I hadn't wanted to run into, late at night and without a wand.

Rabastan.

I spun around, ripping his hand from my waist, while he grinned a handsome smile at me. His dark hair falling into his face, as his green eyes sparkled with desire. He watched me the way a lion watched it's prey, and it made me want to pull out the wand I didn't have.

"Trying to get into a locked classroom after hours?" Rabastan asked, _tsk_ ing slightly, "how very naughty of you, Doe. Though, as I'm sure you know, I do quite like it when you're naughty."

I knew I had to keep him calm, and rational. I couldn't blow up without a wand to defend myself.

"I am shocked you couldn't perform the unlocking charm yourself," he continued, "not quite as brilliant as I here, then. It's a good thing you have a face like that."

"Are you stalking me now?" I asked evenly, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I tried to keep my face confident, even though all I felt was paralyzing fear and anger.

"Hardly," Rabastan said, stretching his grin, "You're near my Common Room, in case I'm mistaken, and stalking is such a distasteful word, I prefer to look at it as keeping tabs on what's _mine_."

"Yours _?"_ I snorted. "Have you finally gone mad, Rabastan? In what world am I even remotely considered _yours?"_

Rabastan had his wand in one hand, lazily, but drawn. I would have loved nothing more than to be able to do the same. His eyes roamed over my body greedily, as he spoke.

"I like it when you pretend you despise me," he said taking a few steps closer to me and closing the distance between us and the door. "You know they say hatred is one of the most passionate things you can experience. You and I, were _passionate._ "

"So is murder," I snapped at him, leaning as far away from him as I could, I flexed my fingers at my sides, ready to claw his eyes out if he tried anything.

Rabastan leaned closer to me, so that his body was almost pressed against mine, his mouth so close to my neck, I could feel his breath on it.

I readied my nails ready to dig them into his eyes, or kick him in the groin when he whispered " _Alohomora_ ," he whispered the unlocking charm, wand drawn, and lightly grazed his lips against my neck.

I didn't waste a second of time, wrenching the door open and knocking away from him at full force.

"We'll have so much more fun in a classroom," Rabastan chuckled, watching me enter the Potions classroom.

I threw myself at the table where my wand laid and grasped it as tight as I could. Rabastan was already coming towards me, walking lazily. I could hear him behind me.

I spun around and pointed my wand at him directly in his face. "Get away from me," I seethed, not lowering it an inch.

Anger flickered across Rabastan's face, "You didn't have your wand?" he hissed at me. His face was white with anger, his brows furrowed and his mouth agape, furious at the opportunity he had clearly just missed out on.

I kept my wand pointed at his face and shuddered as I imagined what Rabastan could have, _would_ have, done if he had known how defenseless I had been moments ago. It wasn't hard to imagine.

"I have it now," I said, my teeth clenched together. I took a step forward, and then another backing Rabastan out of the room. "Take even one step towards me, and I'll make sure to give you another taste of the stinging jinx," I told him, locking Slughorn's door behind me.

Rabastan rolled his eyes. "You are so dramatic, aren't you? I suppose it's one of those things that makes you so endlessly fascinating. One of these days, you and I are going to explore every inch of it together."

I kept my wand raised, "I wouldn't hold your breath."

"I'll see you soon, Doe," Rabastan said confidently, giving me a wide grin and then disappearing around the corner, into the shadows that led to the Slytherin Common Room. I only took a minute to calm myself down, until the racing beat of my heart wasn't pounding in my ears anymore.

Now that I had my wand, I felt much more relaxed on my way back to the Common Room. It was dark outside, still only barely past curfew. When I passed by one of the large windows facing the grounds, I could see the moon high in the sky, leaving a large dewy glow. I stopped long enough to look at it. The moon was already full, and the grounds were dark.

I knew somewhere down there, Remus was transformed, in pain and alone, and soon the other three Marauders would be down there with him, running across the grounds. I didn't care what Sirius said. It _did_ worry me.

My gaze drifted over towards Whomping Willow, clearly visible in the moonlight, wondering how that massive beast of a tree could ever stop moving, when I saw something dart across the grounds, breaking the light.

It looked like a person. I pressed myself closer to the window to get a better look, and saw a pale person with long, greasy, black hair and a hook nose.

Snape. It was Snape.

He tore across the grounds right towards the Whomping Willow. My heart felt like it stopped in my chest as I watched him wave his wand and levitate a branch, pressing on something at the base of the tree, and immobilizing every branch.

 _Don't go down there_ , I begged silently. _Don't go down there._

I didn't know how Snape knew about the tree or the tunnel, or if he knew what was down there, but I did.

I knew that down the tunnel, somewhere was a fully transformed Remus, and anyone who went down there could be killed. Remus could kill them. And even if it was Snape, that wasn't okay. It would hurt them both. Lives would be irreparably damaged.

Snape darted down the tunnel just as the tree limbs started moving again, and I could barely breathe as he did. I took off running towards the Common Room, hoping to Merlin I could come up with anything to stop it. I'd have to find McGonagall, or Dumbledore. Someone that could stop what was about to happen. I was running so fast I could barely see what I passing, the ringing in my ears intensifying as I did. I didn't care if I ran into a Professor. I was _hoping_ I did. Some things were worth a detention, and keeping Snape from dying and Remus from becoming his murdered seemed like one of them.

I had barely made it to the staircase when I barreled straight into James Potter. I hadn't even seen him coming.

He caught me by the shoulders before I could knock us both over the side of the staircase, and to our deaths.

"Merlin, Doe. Where's the fire?" James asked, readjusting his glasses before they could slide off the end of his nose.

I had never been so happy to see him before. I knew James hated with Snape with a passion, but I had to believe he wouldn't want one of his best friends to become a murderer.

"James, it's Snape," I said, panting from the run, and still trying to get out the words. "Snape entered the tunnel under the Whomping Willow. He's going to find Remus."

James' face contorted in confusion, his eyes widening. "Are you sure? You saw Snape enter the tunnel?"

I nodded frantically, "James, I'm positive. He's down there."

James let go of my shoulders and nodded, heading down the staircase with his wand drawn. "Alright. I'm going, okay? Stay in the Common Room and send Peter or Sirius if you find them!" He took the stairs three at a time, heading for the exit to the grounds.

"Should I get McGonagall?" I called down to him.

James shook his head as he ran. "No! Not unless you want Remus to get in trouble. I'll handle it. Don't tell anyone!"

He disappeared around the corner and ran towards the exit. I made my way back up to portrait of the Fat Lady, feeling the worry and nerves seeping through my pores as I did.

"Prancing Pixies," I told her, still panting.

The Fat Lady yawned as she swung open and revealed the Common Room, still alive with people all of them blissfully unaware of what was happening down on the grounds, or why I could barely breathe.

"Hey, Doe," Gideon said from the sofa he sat on with Otto and Sturgis. My eyes were wide and I could barely control the fear pulsing through me. I didn't see Sirius or Peter, and I barely managed to give Gideon a wave, as I scanned the Common Room for any sign of my friends.

Lily, Marlene and Mary were curled up on the carpet in front of the fireplace, a copy of Witch Weekly open in front of them. I had to wipe my hands on the thighs of my jeans as I made my way over to them, doing my best to look as calm as I could.

"There you are," Marlene said happily, "Thought you might have gotten a detention or something."

I shook my head and took my seat down beside Lily on the carpet, wrapping my arms around my knees. All I could do was hope and pray that somewhere, Remus wasn't killing Severus, and that I hadn't just sent James to his death too.

"Did you find your wand?" Lily asked, eyeing me a little strangely.

"Yeah," I told her quietly, doing my best to force a smile on my face to cover the nerves I felt. "Sorry it took me so long I ran into Rabastan on the way."

Mary shuddered, "Before or after you found your wand?"

I shivered at the memory of close he had been to me, and the feeling of his lips on my neck, no matter how short it had been, it was still horrifying. "Before."

"He didn't do anything, did he?" Marlene asked. "If he did, I could have Landon and Carmichael beat him bloody."

I shook my head. "No, I handled it. But thanks for the offer, Marls."

The three of them quietly went back to talking about the Witch Weekly article on Celestina Warbeck they had been talking about before I got there, while I sat quietly my eyes drifting back to the portrait hole every twenty minutes.

I did my best not to seem like a stress case, while we talked about how Marlene was actually starting to like Wil Grove, and I barely kept my hands from shaking while Lily painted them with a bottle of color-changing nail polish Mary had bought in Hogsmeade.

It was after eleven when the Common Room started to clear out, and another hour before my friends were yawning and starting to go upstairs.

I kept my charms book open on my lap, rereading the same page over and over, and hoping no one would notice.

"We're going to bed, Doe," Lily asked, yawning. "Are you coming?"

I held up the book in my lap and shook my head. "I think I'm going to stay down here and read for a little while longer," I told them. "I'll be up soon."

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning," Lily said, and followed Marlene and Doe up their staircases.

When they were gone, I closed the book and let my head fall on my knees. The more time that passed, the more I worried if I had made a grave mistake in not fetching Professor Dumbledore or McGonagall. If anything happened to Remus or Snape, I'd never let myself forget it.

I rested my head on the back of the couch and let my eyes slipped closed, worrying about whether I would wake up in the morning to a dead school mate.

It was an hour later when the Portrait Hole opened up, and Sirius climbed through. The front of his t-shirt was covered with blood that seemed to have come from his nose, and he looked furious. His eyes were alive with a mixture of anger and grief.  
"What happened to you?" I demanded, getting off the couch in an instant.

Sirius held his hand to his nose to stop the bleeding, his grey searching mine. "I think I did something, Doe," he whispered quietly, and dropped into the armchair without another word.


	14. I Kissed Firewhiskey

14

I Kissed Firewhiskey

"What did you do?" I demanded, jumping up from the couch in one quick fluid movement, drawing my wand. From the blood and the terrible twist of his nose, I knew it had to be broken.

Sirius didn't say anything, he just kept touching his nose, his fingers coming away with sticky, red blood. He barely looked at it.

"Do you reckon it's broken?" he asked, looking back at me. He looked surprisingly unconcerned, considering his fate.

"I'd say so," I told him, holding my wand up to it. I moved my wrist slowly, recalling the incantation to heal broken bones, mentally thanking Flitwick for teaching it to me last year. " _Episkey!"_

The bones in his nose cracked and shifted back into place, and Sirius gave one quick shudder as it did, wiping the blood from his facial hair with the back of his hand. I had a hundred questions I wanted to ask about Remus, but Sirius' peculiar behavior stopped me in my tracks. It made me nervous, him acting like this. I had a terrible feeling that whatever had happened down there hadn't been good.

"I figured it might be broken," Sirius said softly, looking distracted. "Didn't think Prongs could hit that hard, but I seem to be wrong about a lot of things tonight."

" _James_ broke your nose?" I asked, my mouth falling open. "Why would he do that?"

In all the time, I had known James and Sirius I had never seen them even get into a disagreement, and certainly not one that would result in physical blows.

Sirius' grey eyes turned as dark as coal, drifting to the floor. "James isn't currently speaking to me. He seems to think I'm reckless and immature, and he doesn't agree with my choices."

James wasn't speaking to him? That seemed impossible. The two of them were inseparable, like brothers.

Sirius crossed his arms across his chest in frustration. "And you know what? I don't understand why he's mad," he fumed angrily, venting about something I didn't understand, "He hates Snivellus just as much as I do. Probably more. Who cares if I sent him down there? He _deserved_ it."

Sirius leaned back into his chair like a bitter child who was told they couldn't have seconds. His normally cheerful face turned down into a miserable frown. It took me a moment to run his words over in my head, and then it clicked.

" _You_ sent Snape down there!" I hissed quietly, trying to keep my voice down as much as I could and still emphasize my fury. The last thing I wanted was someone to overhear what we were saying, but Sirius needed to know how wrong he was.

Sirius' eyes flew up to mine immediately. "How did you know-?"

I cut him off, throwing my arms into the air as my voice got high and squeaky with anger.

" _Who_ do you think sent James down there?" I whispered furiously, narrowing my eyes. "I saw Snape on the grounds and went to find someone. Is Snape alright?"

"Why does that matter?" Sirius asked, his nose turned down at the floor. "You sound just like James. It's _Snivellus_. Who cares if he's alright?" He rolled his eyes. "And anyway, Prongs stopped him before he got any real damage. Had to go and get Dumbledore involved. Ruddy shame."

So, Dumbledore knew. I wondered what punishment was facing them after this. I couldn't even blame him if it was serious. This had crossed the line. This wasn't a childish prank, or a school-house beef with the Slytherins. This was to cause harm. This could have killed Snape.

I smacked Sirius on the head, and he flinched still annoyed.

"James was right. You are reckless and immature," I huffed, crossing my arms in frustration. "Do you have any idea how dangerous and stupid that was? You could have killed Snape,"

"But he deserved it!" Sirius roared at me. "You don't know what he said-"

I shook my head before he finished talking. "So? It doesn't matter what he said. You can't hurt people you don't agree with. That's what You-Know-Who does."

Sirius' face wiped clean of emotion, his eyes locked on mine. I knew that was a drastic comparison to make, but it seemed to work. Sirius was hanging on my every word, looking decidedly less smug than he had in the minutes before.

"And anyway," I added while he was still listening to me, "Even if you claim to not care about Snape's life, which I'm going to assume you do, do you have any idea what it would have been like for Remus? The pain he would have been in if he had hurt someone, _even_ Snape? You could have turned him into a murderer for Merlin's sake!"

Sirius stared at me blank faced. "I didn't think about it like that."

He groaned and stretched out in the chair and stared down at the floor, clearly thinking something over in his head. "I didn't want Moony to kill him," he said softly.

"It doesn't matter," I told him shaking my head. "You did this. I don't blame James for not speaking to you. You owe all of them an apology. _Especially_ Remus."

I hated feeling like I was mothering him, but Sirius had been reckless. So much so that even James, the king of Recklessness, had to lecture him on it. He had to understand the gravity of what he had done.

Sirius sighed. "From the looks of it tonight, James doesn't seem very receptive of an apology, and Moony will probably be worse."

"Try harder then," I told him firmly. "If you make a mistake, you do everything you can to fix it. They're your best friends, they'll listen eventually."

Sirius frowned. "Yeah, but you don't how stubborn Prongs and Moony are. I'll have to be waiting at the Hospital Wing first thing in the morning."

"That's a good start."

Sirius gave me an annoyed look and sighed, wiping his face with his hands. I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than head back up to the Dormitory to sleep, but I wasn't going to leave him if he wanted to talk some more. I knew better than to leave someone who was sad and without their friends, all alone.

"It's going to be okay, you know," I told him, dropping my voice to a soft more comforting tone. "It's James and Remus we're talking about. They're your best friends."

Sirius made a noise in the back of his throat and raised a cocky eyebrow at me. Before he could give me whatever cheeky response he had prepared, the portrait hole opened and James stumbled into it, spattered slightly with blood that clearly didn't belong to him.

He looked exhausted, his circle glasses slipping down the bridge of his thin nose and his jet-black hair sticking up in every direction.

When he looked back up, his eyes focused, taking a moment to narrow at his best friend before turning to me.

"I was hoping _you_ would still be up, _Doe_ ," he said as brightly as he could manage, virtually ignoring Sirius' presence. "I thought you'd want to know, that everyone's okay. We got Snape to the Hospital Wing, and Peter's staying with Remus tonight."

I felt whatever fear I was holding onto, release instantly at his words. Both of them were okay. No one was hurt. I felt relief.

"Not even going to look at me, are you Prongs?" Sirius asked from the couch, crossing his legs in an indignant manner.

James continued to ignore him, and didn't look away from me. Sirius scowled, shaking his head.

"Look," he said, getting to his feet, standing in between James and me. "I was wrong, alright? I didn't mean to cause trouble for Remus. I was only thinking getting even with Snivellus. Sorry."

Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets, watching his friend carefully.

James lips pursed, his eyes widening with rage. "You're _sorry_?" he asked in disbelief. "You sent Snape down into the Whomping Willow, exposing all of our secrets and outing Remus and all you can say is _sorry_?"

"Well yeah," Sirius added quickly. "It's a start, inn'it?"

James was white with anger, shaking as he looked at his friend. I wanted to slowly back out of the way, but Sirius and the armchair were in my way. Somehow, I ended up in the middle of this fight and unable to leave.

"Do you realize that Snape was inches from death when I stopped him?" James hissed, "Five more minutes and you would have killed a classmate. Remus would have been thrown in Azkaban because of _you._

I had to sit in front of Dumbledore, and beg him not to punish Moony for this. I had to take full responsibility, a week's worth of detentions, and now Snape knows all about Remus' condition. Sure, Dumbledore made him swear not to say anything but do you think that will stop him from making snide comments that will torture Remus? And all because you were selfish and immature. So no, I don't accept your apology, Sirius. Stay away from me, and stay away from Remus."

James threw him a scathing look and stomped away back towards the dormitory. It was angrier than I had ever seen him, especially at Sirius.

When he was gone, Sirius said nothing for a moment, simply staring off after his best friend with a far gone look on his face.

"His wand's certainly in a knot, isn't it?" he joked, not fully able to mask how crestfallen he was. Any trace of cocky, confident Sirius seemed to have disappeared.

"He'll get over it," I assured him, "you just have to keep trying."

Sirius gave me a weak smile and then headed back to his dormitory without another word. I headed back to my dormitory, grateful to find my friends awake and pleasantly not furious with me.

The next few days were strange. I had never seen the Marauders not speaking before, and it was bizarre to watch. It took two days for Remus to come back from the Hospital Wing. I didn't know if it was because he was hurt or because he was scared to face Sirius and Severus.

The entire time he was there, James and Peter took turns visiting him and sneering at Sirius from across the Common Room. It didn't seem to matter what Sirius said to them, or how many times he tried, they didn't want to hear it and were giving him the cold shoulder.

Severus was in a foul mood too. I didn't know if he had told Lily or not about what had happened with the Marauders, but she had disappeared with him for hours the day after the incident, and when she came back to the Common Room, she was practically white with anger and ignored the marauders' existence.

When Remus did get back, he barely looked at Sirius, and when he did he looked as if he couldn't be more anymore hurt if he tried.

Sirius didn't take it well. He spent half his time locked away in a broom closet with random girls from the other houses. In two days, he had racked up a list of six girls, each one tartier than the last. Distracting himself the way he knew best, debauchery.

The rest of the time, he spent hanging around me. His presence and constant cheeky banter was something I had grown used too, but it annoyed Lily and Mary to no end, so I did my best to spend time with him away from the others. We sat in the abandoned corner of the Common Room or on the Hogwarts pitch, doing my best to distract him from the loss of his friends.

I hoped the Marauders made up soon, because it was becoming difficult to juggle my time between Sirius and my friends, and I hated having to repeatedly to choose one over the other.

"So how long do you think this is going to go on?" Sirius complained one afternoon. We were sitting on one of the big velvet couches in the common room flipping through a copy of the prophet while he stared across the room at James, Peter and Remus.

"They haven't softened at all?" I asked him, tearing my eyes away from the article on the missing Ministry employee.

Sirius stretched his legs out on the coffee table in front of him. "Well, Wormtail has, when Prongs isn't around, but that's Wormtail." He gave me a look to suggest winning Peter's affection was an easy feat. "Prongs and Moony haven't softened at all. Merlin, I guess it's a good thing you and I are friends, huh? You're about the only one who's talking to me right now."

"You could do worse, you know," I told him, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius cracked a wide smile. "Jealous?"

I rolled my eyes and Sirius chuckled. "I wasn't insinuating I don't enjoy your company, Meadowes. You're just fun and twice as fit as Prongs anyway."

I flashed him a wide even smile, " _That_ I already knew," I told him. Sirius gave me a cheeky look and winked.

The good mood only lasted a second before Sirius frowned again looking back over at the Marauders, "Honestly, I'm so bored I'm considering looking for Amy Bentworth just for the hell of it."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I seriously doubt you're _that_ bored. And didn't you just go out with Emma Berchum this morning?"

"Ah, Emma," Sirius said, leaning back to cross his arms behind his head. "I _do_ love a blonde."

Sirius let out a low even, laugh and then the smile fell from his face as he looked back at his friends, sitting without him.

It didn't matter how well Sirius and I got on, or how close we got. We were simply a different kind of friends than he was with James and the others. He needed them.

I folded my copy of the Daily Prophet and turned to Sirius giving him a tense, stern look.

"Do you really want them to forgive you?" I asked him seriously.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, and pretended to knock against my head. "What have you gone barmy? Of course, I do. It's getting really boring talking to Caradoc every night."

"You talk to Caradoc?" I asked him suspiciously. Somehow the idea of him sitting around chatting with his dimwitted dorm mate, seemed ridiculous.

Sirius grinned. "Not exactly. He listens to the stories of my conquests. Always asks questions. Treats my anecdotes with the respect they deserve."

I rolled my eyes. "Would you like to go on and on about your bed mates or would you like to find out how to get your friends back?"

"You're rather confident about this, aren't you?" Sirius asked cheekily. I ignored him.

"If you want your friends to listen to you, you have to be open, and upfront," I told him. "Let them see how serious you are about forgiveness."

"How _Sirius_ I am?" Sirius asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

I snapped my fingers to get his attention and he winked at me. "Alright, go on."  
"Go over there, sit down, and tell them that what you did was wrong, and that you're the biggest prat in the castle for doing it,"

"A bigger prat than Reggie Cattermole?" Sirius asked jokingly. "Hardly."

"… _and_ you have to add that you love all of them and it has been absolutely miserable for you being without them. And maybe cry a little. That would work too."

Sirius grinned at me. "Anything else?"

It was difficult for me to hide the smile that was creeping slowly across my cheeks. "Nope. That should work."

Sirius shook his head. "You're either completely mad or absolutely brilliant, you know that?"

I nodded. "Go on. Get your friends back, Black."

Sirius sighed, concentrating on the group of them and took a deep breath. "Alright, wish me luck."

He lifted himself from the chair in one quick motion and took a second to ready himself before strutting over to where his friends were sitting. I was too far away to hear anything he said, but I watched cross legged.

I could see from the expression on his face that he had taken my advice. He looked humbled as he spoke to them, his face pleading while James and Remus listened carefully. Whatever Sirius had said seemed to have pierced their hard shells, because after a moment James and Sirius were hugging, and then Remus too, while Peter clapped happily beside them, watching with a wide smile.

Sirius took the open seat beside his friends, looking happier than I seen him look in days. It was a relief to see him looking so gleeful again. Sirius wasn't Sirius unless he was jubilant and confident, and he couldn't be those things without the others.

I smiled as I watched the joy fill is face again as he laughed loudly at something James told him. His gaze drifted across the room and caught my eye for a moment, giving me a big dramatic wink.

Sirius had made up with the Marauders, and for the time being, everything was right within Gryffindor tower.

* * *

"Sirius is all made up with the rest of the Marauders then, huh?" Marlene observed on our morning walk to Potions a week or so later. "Does that mean he won't be hanging around you all the time anymore? I was getting kind of used to it."

Lily, who was scooping her dark red hair into a ponytail, looked ahead and stared forward, with wide eyes.

A few feet in front of us, Sirius and the other Marauders were laughing boisterously about something that had Peter looking like he might wet himself.

Mary said shook her head. "I wasn't. Sirius' has a big personality. I don't know how you stand it all the time," she said looking right at me.

"You get used to it," I assured her, smiling at how happy he looked ahead of us, "And Sirius can be very deep when he wants to be. I wouldn't spend so much time with him if he wasn't."

Marlene smiled. "Personally. I happen to think spending time with him is good for you. He encourages your wild side. Like _I_ do."

"As if anyone was as wild as you are," Mary replied cheekily. Marlene used her Potions textbook to hit her on her backside.

Mary jumped to avoid her and almost took out a group of four year Slytherins we were passing on the way to the dungeons. They shot her a dirty look that made her instantly stop smiling.

It didn't matter that she hadn't done it on purpose, or that they were a year younger than us. From the look on their faces, it was clear what they thought. A muggleborns had touched them, and they weren't happy about it. Mary seemed to sense this and went quiet and still, clutching her bag tighter in her hand. Lily reached out beside her to place a hand on her shoulder, and Mary barely seemed to notice.

"Did we ever find out what the Marauders were even fighting about?" Marlene asked quickly, trying to change the topic, and distract our friend.

Something flashed across Lily's eyes and her mouth seemed to even into a straight white line. It made my shoulders tense up. Did she know what had happened? I knew that she knew about Remus' condition, and now Severus did too. But had they talked about it? James said Dumbledore made Severus swear not to mention it to anyone, but I doubted Severus would count Lily in that group. Especially not with something that implicated the Marauders. After all, Sirius could have killed him. She would have been the first person he told.

"Bet Doe knows," Mary said quietly. "Sirius tells her everything nowadays."

Lily's eyes flew to mine, and I was sure I didn't imagine the pain and anger there when she looked at me. Of course, she knew. Severus had told her. She knew Sirius had tried to kill her best friend, no wonder she had been so quiet during this conversation.

But I couldn't tell her. It wasn't my secret to tell. I'd be betraying Sirius, James and Remus, and as much as it killed me to lie to them, I wouldn't share something that wasn't mine to share. My word was my bond.

I shook my head, ignoring the piercing intensity behind Lily's eyes and how much it hurt me. "No idea."

Lily seemed to relax a little as we headed towards the Potions classroom, and she flitted off to her seat beside Severus without another word. Mary was so hung up from the exchange with Slytherins that her eyes went wide with saucers as she took in the group of them seated around the potions classroom, doing her best to ignore them as she took a seat beside Caradoc Dearborn.

I felt for Mary. No one in Gryffindor liked the Slytherins, but for Mary it went so much deeper. She was terrified of them.

Marlene and I sat down in the double desk behind Peter and Remus. Slughorn was flitting around the room, talking mostly to Lily and Severus in a jovial tone while the rest of our classmates took their seats.

"I hope that's a dreadfully easy potion there," Marlene said nodding at the large chalkboard where the days potion; the confusing concoction, was written.

I frowned at the complicated and specific instructions page in our textbook and Marlene sighed, dropping her wand down on the table.

"There never easy," she said wistfully, twisting her hair through her fingertips. "I can't wait to drop this class."

The class went by very slowly. Marlene and I mostly did our best to keep our cauldron from bubbling up and spilling over like most of our classmates were, and when it did and finally singed off an inch of Marlene's perfect hair, she sneered at it for the rest of the period.

When everyone had finally brewed _something_ to turn in, Slughorn directed our attention forward.

"Now," he said clapping his hands against his velvet robes, "Can anyone tell me why so many of these potions are still bubbling over and green when they should be still and aquamarine colored?"

Everyone's cauldron seemed to be some shade of green and making violent sputtering noises. Only Lily and Severus' cauldron seemed to be anywhere near blue and wasn't bubbling.

"Maybe these instructions are wrong, Professor" Narcissa said firmly, nose upturned, "I think you'll find Elizabeth and I followed the instructions implicitly and our potion is still turquoise, so clearly there must be something wrong."

Beside her Elizabeth was nodding eagerly and their potion while nit bubbling was still the wrong color.

"Clearly, Professor," Elizabeth added. "We deserve full marks, it's not _our_ fault the instructions are wrong."

They were both using their ridiculous fake sweet voices that would only work on someone as daft as their head of house. If it had been Professor McGonagall they were talking too, she would have taken points for their foolishness.

Slughorn looked conflicted, and tottered back and forth mulling over what to do. Looking at the ridiculous faces Narcissa and Elizabeth were making at him.

"Oh, come on," I whispered to Marlene. "He can't honestly consider giving them points for that, can he? The instructions were fine."

"They're such fake tarts," Marlene said, annoyed.

Slughorn sighed, and read over the instructions again. "Well... I suppose... maybe there's something…"

Severus rolled his eyes from the front seat. He and Lily's potion was absolutely perfect, proving full well there was nothing wrong with the instructions. Elizabeth and Narcissa were trying to get full marks for no reason.

Beside him, Lily was clearly struggling with what to do. I knew she was driven by morality and always doing what was right. She clearly had an epiphany because a confident look appeared on her face and she spun around in her seat to face Narcissa and Elizabeth head on.

"There is nothing wrong with the instructions," she said firmly. "Severus and I followed them implicitly and our potion is perfect."

She cast a long look at Elizabeth and Narcissa's potion and then cracked a small smile. "You forgot to add the sliced frog legs that Professor Slughorn clearly wrote on the fourth line. Don't blame him for your incompetence."

Half the Gryffindors in the room burst into such loud laughter it was hard to hear the sounds of scowling coming from the Slytherins.

"Go Evans," James said happily kicking his feet up onto the desk. Sirius was doubled over with laughter.

"What did you just say to me, Mudblood?" Narcissa hissed at Lily. There was a collective gasp from the Gryffindors almost immediately.

Slughorn in took his breath slightly at her use of the slur but made no move to chastise her for it. Severus sighed and sunk lower into his seat, not coming to Lily's defense and looking like he'd love to disappear any second. Mary's eyes were wide as saucers.

Lily narrowed her eyes right back at Narcissa, no sign of fear crossing her features for even a second.

"What I'm saying is that maybe if you spent less time worrying about blood status and more time about your abysmal potions skills, then you wouldn't have to beg for marks," Lily said firmly.

James actually cheered for her. Sirius clapped. Marlene looked directly at the sneering Slytherins and whistled.

Lily smiled back at them. Narcissa and Elizabeth stared back at her with such hatred, I half expected them to hex her right there in front of Slughorn. But they didn't. Elizabeth's eyes were wild and crazed as she looked at Elizabeth, and Narcissa's upper lip was curling as she stewed in silence.

"I think that's enough for today," Slughorn said quickly, sensing the tension that was building in his classroom. "For homework, write a ten-inch parchment on what you could do to improve your potions in the future."

The class was barely listening to him as we gathered our things. No one was peeling their eyes away from Elizabeth, Narcissa and Lily.

Severus had ducked out of the room the second Slughorn had dismissed us. _Coward_ , I thought bleakly. Marlene and I were at Lily's side in an instant, watching her eye Narcissa and Elizabeth carefully.

"That was a stupid thing you just did," Narcissa told Lily evenly.

Elizabeth's eyes hadn't moved from Lily's, and looked just as crazed as they had before. "You're going to pay for it," she told her evenly. "Just you wait."

They disappeared from the room without another word, and Lily simply rolled her eyes as she picked up her bag.

"Was that supposed to scare me?" she asked bravely.

"Does it matter?" I asked her excitedly. "You're my hero. That was one of the most impressive things I have ever seen you do."

"Absolutely legendary," Marlene added as we left the potions classroom and headed towards History of Magic.

Lily beamed, a little color flushing her freckled cheeks. "I didn't mean to do it. I just got so angry with them, and I don't know I had to say something. They couldn't just get away with it. It was wrong."

"You were brilliant," I assured her. "You had the respect of everyone in that room. Slughorn, included."

"Not Severus'," Lily said sadly as we walked down the corridor. "Did you see the look he gave me? It's like he wanted me to stop talking. I suppose I embarrassed him in front of his new Slytherin friends."

"Who cares what he thinks," Mary told her, more brazenly than she had all day. "What you did was courageous, and brave. And you were right."

Lily offered her a wide smile, "Thank you. I sort of did it for you, you know. I hated how those Slytherins looked at you earlier. Sometimes they need reminding that blood status doesn't mean anything."

Mary looked like she could have stopped everything she was doing and hugged Lily right there,

we shoved ourselves through the door of the crowded History of Magic classroom.

When we got there, the Marauders were crowded around the desk we usually shared. James was stretched across it, tossing his wand into the air over and over.

"Can I just say Evans?" he began when she walked over. "I've never been prouder of you in all the years I've known you."

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "I'd appreciate that assessment more if weren't coming from _you._ "

Sirius shook his head dismissively, "Always so harsh, aren't you, Evans."

James frowned slightly at her. "Must everything be so difficult when it comes to me and you?" he asked her. "I'm complimenting you, after all."

"So?" Lily asked. "I don't want your complements. They don't mean anything. You don't actually care about me at all. If you did, you'd respect my friends."

It was clear she was talking about Severus, and Sirius seemed to notice this, looking at me and rolling his eyes. I kicked him under the table.

James raised an eyebrow, "I _do_ respect your friends, Evans. I like Doe, Marlene and Mary just fine."

Marlene snickered, and Mary wiped a hand over her face. I sighed knowing where this was going. Sometimes I wished James could just leave her alone.

"You and I both know they're not who I'm talking about," Lily said firmly. "Marlene, Doe, and Mary are real friends to me. They respect my choices and accept my friendships with other people. That's what people who care about me do, _Potter._ "

Professor Binns glided into the room, running right throw a frowning Xenophillius Lovegood and interrupted the conversation before Lily and James could argue anymore. Something that everyone within ear shot was grateful for.

The lesson was on Hogwarts founding and probably would have been an interesting lesson if it had been taught be anyone other than the most droning, mundane ghost, well... sort of _alive._

I spent half my time, incinerating the tiny rolled of pieces of parchment that Sirius and James were attempting to lob past me at Lily, much to their delight. Eventually I gave up, and ended up with half of them stuck in _my_ hair.

At the end of the lesson, Binns assigned another essay on the relationship between families and what houses they ended up in. The topic wasn't altogether uninteresting, but sparked a fresh spike of pain in my chest when I realized I'd have to think about my parents, and my mom's family.

Lily purposefully left the classroom at almost a run to avoid James and Sirius, and Marlene, Mary and I almost struggled to keep up with her. We were almost to the Common Room when we finally managed to match her strides.

"Interesting essay, huh?" Lily asked as we headed for the Portrait Hole. "Better than the usual ones. Might not be so horrible to write."

"Yeah, if we didn't have three other essays, assigned," Marlene said bitterly. "I hate O.W.L. year."

We climbed through the portrait hole behind Alice and Rylie and went in search of a place to sit down.

"Don't you have to meet Amos soon?" Marlene asked Lily as we all plopped down in one of the open couches, stretching her long legs out over my lap lazily.

"Not for a little while," Lily said shrugging. "He wants to study together before dinner."

"You don't sound too thrilled about it," Marlene told her, raising an eyebrow.

Lily sighed. "It's not that I'm not thrilled, it's just I don't know if he'd even notice if I was there."

Marlene raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"What do you mean, Lils?" I asked, resting my head on my hand.

Lily scrunched her nose up, like she was uncomfortable talking about whatever it was. "It's just, I don't know. Amos likes to talk about himself, quite a lot. And I like someone whose confident and knows their strengths, but it seems like _all_ he wants to talk about is his strengths."

"He's a braggart?" I asked, trying to hide the giggle that was lodged in my throat. Lily nodded.

"How often?" Mary asked, comfortingly "Is it a constant thing."

Lily sighed. "All the time. I can hardly say anything without him turning it back around to him. Sometimes I can't get a word in the entire time we're together. The other day, he retold the same Quidditch save story three times."

I frowned. "Oh no, that's, rotten isn't it?"

Lily gave an exasperated little nod and Marlene threw her head back into laughter.

"Oh, Merlin," Marlene said, trying to stop her laughter as she clutched at her chest, "You have to dump him, Lily. There's nothing worse than a braggart. Take it from someone who knows. That's why I booted Wil Grove."

"But James and Sirius brags all the time," Lily reminded her, "and you like them."

Marlene shrugged, "James and Sirius brag occasionally but they don't do it for attention. They just know what they're good at it, and anyway they're funny. It's not making anyone make the face that you make when you talk about Amos."

Lily sighed. "I don't have any idea what to do about it. I suppose I'll have to leave him then. Though, I want to find a kind way to do it. We tutor together, and have prefect duties.."

She let out on more sigh and took out her parchment and quill, opening her History of Magic textbook to the pages on houses.

"Tell me that's not you already starting the essay?" Marlene asked wide eyed. "That was assigned ten minutes ago."

Lily flashed her a crooked smile, and twirled her quill. "Oh, come on Marley, this is fascinating. It's barely homework, don't you think?"

"Still seems like Homework to me," Marlene said scrunching her nose.

"I think it's _so_ interesting, "Lily said, her eyes widening in amazement, "Like Marlene, your entire family is Gryffindor so it's no surprise you're one but then Sirius is the only Gryffindor in a family full of Slytherins."

"It's pretty rare to be sorted into a house outside of your family though," Marlene told her "Because you're raised to be like them. It just usually makes sense you're in the same house."

Lily frowned, "So people don't deviate often?"

Marlene shook her head, "Very rarely," and then turned to me. "Doe, your mom was in Slytherin right? What about your dad was he a Gryffindor?"

I did my best to ignore the pain in my chest that formed at her words as I pictured my parents, they're bright happy faces.

"Nope. He was a Ravenclaw," I told her, "And my mom's family were Slytherins as far back as they can remember."

Probably why all of them were such miserable, murderous blood-status obsessed gits. The quill in my hand snapped as I thought about it.

Marlene turned back to Lily. "See that's really rare. Usually in cases like that, she'd end up being one or the other. I think that's what happened with Xeno Lovegood too. His dad's a Hufflepuff and Mum was a Gryffindor."

"Julie has a friend in the year whose whole family is split down the middle Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and the grandparents take bets on what house the grandkids will be sorted into," Mary told her happily. "Makes Christmas quite the interesting affair."

Lily looked floored. "I honestly can't imagine being in any other house. I suppose if I had to choose I'd probably pick Ravenclaw."

"Me too," Mary told her. "Seems like the only other place I'd fit."

Marlene sighed, "No way. I'd couldn't be anywhere other than here. Gryffindor is who I am. What about you, Doe?"

I let the idea float around my head for a minute and tried to picture my life any other way than it was now. It was difficult. Hogwarts, and Gryffindor for that matter, was so wrapped into the essential makeup of who I was. Without family, my friends and my house were all I had.

I supposed if my mother had married someone who she was _supposed to_ , I would be a Slytherin right now and that idea terrified me. To this day, I still wouldn't even wear green.

"I can't imagine being anywhere else," I told them honestly. "This is it."

Marlene grinned and tossed her head back, "Oh Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart.."

"There daring nerve and chivalry, set Gryffindors apart," I added happily, matching her high singsongy voice.

Lily chuckled and Mary shook her head, slightly entertained.

Lily went back to asking Marlene questions about the houses and wizarding history, and somehow my mind wandered back to my mother, Aurelia. I couldn't shake the image of her at my own age. A girl who looked so much like me, dressed in emerald and silver, sat with her friends in the Slytherin Common Room.

She had been reckless, vivacious and ahead of her time when it came to things like blood-status. The kind of Pureblood girl who could fall in love with a muggleborn Ravenclaw. I wondered how much of herself she had to sacrifice to be in Slytherin.

Had she been in Gryffindor like me, she could have proudly displayed what made her different. Her bravery and loyalty would have been celebrated, rather than marking her for death.

As I looked around at my smiling, laughing supportive friends, each of them more diverse and interesting than the last, I silently thanked the Sorting Hat for putting me exactly where I was.

Like Marlene had so eloquently phrased, Gryffindor was where I belonged.

* * *

Severus had been hanging around Lily a lot the last few days. I didn't know if it was because she felt badly for him because of what had almost happened with Remus, or because of the newfound hatred she was feeling for James, but Lily went off with him every time he asked. Despite Marlene's constant reminding that he hadn't stuck up for her with potions, something she claimed she was going 'to be the bigger person about'.

Much to my delight, our morning Herbology class had been canceled on account of Professor Herbology having to break up a party the Mandrakes had thrown in one of the greenhouses, so after Care of Magical Creatures, Amelia and I had spent an hour in one of the empty corridors snacking on Bertie Botts and catching up. I had been so busy lately I'd hardly seen her and she chatted happily about how she and Charity Burbage had finally told off their other dorm mates for stealing their ties and how she was now avoiding Hexar Smith after she overheard he liked her.

"And now my dorm mate Gwenog is friends with that four-year Amara Selwyn, so she's always hanging around the dorm," Amelia complained, shoving a handful of Bertie Botts bravely into her mouth, "And it's not that I don't like her necessarily, but have you seen her? That girl always looks perfect. I don't want to come back to the dorm after a long day with frizzy hair and see her looking like a Madrags model."

"I don't feel even slightly bad for you," I told her, as I took what I was sure was a caramel flavored bean. "I live with _Marlene_. I adore her, but I take a self-esteem hit every she walks into the room. The girl looks flawless straight out of the shower."

After five years of living with Marlene, I was sure she was probably the most beautiful girl in all of Britain. Rylie frequently looked at her like she wished she looked exactly as Marlene did.

Amelia raised a strawberry blonde eyebrow at me. " _Please_. Look, at you. I'm sure it's so hard to have such big, blue eyes and full lips," she said jokingly, rolling her amber eyes. "And that long blonde hair? I'm sure people are looking right over you. Must be unbearable."

I grabbed a handful of the Bertie botts and tossed them at her. She incinerated them with her wand before they were even an inch from her, not even opening her mouth.

"You can do non-verbal spells?" I asked in amazement.

Outside of Seventh years and some sixth, I'd never seen someone I know use them. We didn't even start to try them until after O.W.L.s.

Amelia flashed me a wide grin. "Cool, huh? Edgar taught me this summer. The only perk to having a genius brother. He taught me how to do a patronus too."

"Now, I am full on jealous," I told her honestly. "That's fantastic. You're going to get twelve O.W.L.s"

Amelia beamed. "Good. It's humbling to feel jealous every now and then," she joked.

"Speaking of the summer," she added quickly getting to her feet, "Do you remember Kristina Quigley?"

"The girl that lived four houses down from us?" I asked, joining her and vanishing our trash with one flick of my wand.

Kristina had used to play with Amelia and I when we were little. Back when my parents were alive and I had lived in the village.

Amelia nodded, "Yup. My parents wrote me and told me she went off and got married. Pregnant apparently. Can you believe that? I mean I know she's a muggle and they do things differently, but she was barely sixteen."

I shook my head in disbelief. "I can't even imagine."

Amelia gave me a knowing look. "Well I guess in the muggle world they don't have any problems going on. There's no You-Know-Who for them. I suppose they have time for that sort of thing. Must be nice." She made a very nervous face.

"Has anything changed in that department?" I asked her, "with your family?"

Amelia shook her head. "Not yet. Mum and Dad live in fear that the Death Eaters will come back and ask again, or stop asking. It's not as if these people take no for an answer. My worst fear is that one of these days Edgar and I are going to get a letter and find out they're dead. I can't imagine anything worse."

There wasn't anything worse. I knew that first hand. I bit my bottom lip nervously.

Amelia stopped and her eyes immediately went wide, as she realized what she had said. "Oh, my Merlin. Doe, I didn't realize, I'm _so_ sorry."  
I reached out to grab her arm and shook my head. "Amelia, it's fine. I promise you. Losing your parents _is_ terrible. You have every right to fear that."

"Still," Amelia pressed, "I feel like a prat for having said it. I'm always so in awe of how you handle that, you know. Losing them, and moving in with your aunt. You really are pretty brave about it."

My aunt, right. I had to suppress the urge to correct her. My aunt named _Wool's Orphanage for the Unwanted and Abandoned._

"Thanks Amelia," I told her, smiling through it, "I appriceate it."

"Are you heading to Charms?" Amelia asked. "I'll walk with you. I have Transfiguration."

Amelia and I walked in tandem heading towards the East side of the castle. All of the people we passed were clustered together, their heads pressed together in tight whispers as they gathered around.

"Please tell me no else is dead or missing," Amelia silently begged. "It seems every time someone's talking about something around here, it's something bad."

"I don't think it's anything like that," I told her, watching as another group of whispering students passed by, each of them clutching a yellow colored piece of parchment. "What is that parchment they've all got?"

Amelia stopped dead in her tracks outside of the Charms corridor. "I'm going to guess it's that."

Littering the walls, stuck every ten feet, and abandoned across the floor was the same piece of parchment.

It was a page ripped from a book titled the Dangers of Mud blood and someone had used the blank space to add a crude drawing of a red-headed freckled girl in a Gryffindor scarf with horn protruding from her head. It was clear exactly who it was supposed to be, but just in case someone had missed it, the writing cleared it up.

Under the picture was scribbled;

 _Beware of this particularly disgusting Mudblood that answers to the name Lily Evans. While it may look like the rest of the dirty, wizard-world ruining mudbloods, this one happens to be particularly dangerous. Unable to control its self from acting like intolerable teacher's pet, it also happens to be a boring, insufferable know it all._

There was a slight break in the page and a second handwriting had added;

 _It also has ugly hair that makes it look as if it's on fire. Wish we could set it on fire. The world would be better place without it. I would avoid it if I wear you, it is still undetermined if the mudblood has freckles or a badly undiagnosed case of spattergroit. Either way, I wouldn't let it touch you._

"Well that's just disrespectful to people with freckles," Amelia said shaking her head. She had three times as many freckles as Lily did, covering most of her face.

"Elizabeth and Narcissa did this," I said furiously. "They said they were going to get Lily back, but this? This is _disgusting._ "

I ripped the closest flier down from the wall and crumpled it. I knew enough people had already seen them, but I wanted to get as many as I could down in the hopes Lily wouldn't see them.

"Help me get rid of these," I told Amelia, ripping down two more of them. She nodded and the two of us made quick work of ripping them down. The problem was they seemed to go on down the entire hallway, and if I had to bet, on the other ones all over the castle.

"These bitches are thorough," Amelia snapped, ripping another one off the wall. "These are foul. How did they manage to even get them up?"

"Who knows," I said shaking my head as I ripped another down. "They think they're above the rules."

I just kept hoping I'd be able to get rid of them before the Lily saw them. When we rounded the corner to McGonagall and Flitwick's classroom, both Amelia and I weighed down with armfuls of the crumpled fliers I realized there was no point. Half our year was crowded around more of them, and Lily red-faced and teary eyed had her arms crossed, while James Potter set fire to a pile of them.

"Seen them, have you?" Lily asked, furiously, her eyes looking like they were about to fill with tears. "I cann _ot_ believe they did this."

I dropped my armful of them into James tiny fire and raised my wand. _"Incendio Maxima,"_

The fire grew wider and engulfed all of them, burning them to ash. James and I exchanged a knowing glance.

"I'm so sorry, Lily," I told her. "They're foul. You know all of it is rubbish. They're pissed off that you proved them wrong in front of Slughorn."

"Nobody who knows you gives a damn what they think of you" Marlene added. "Narcissa and Elizabeth are a bunch of jealous bitches and everybody knows it."

Lily eyes turned to fire and she nodded. "You know what? I don't care. I don't care what they think of me. Let them write whatever they want. They can plaster the whole castle with posters that say _Lily Evans is a Useless Tart_ and I don't care. They're just plain _wrong!_ "

"You tell them, Lils," I urged her. Lily beamed and walked into Flitwick's classroom with her head held high.

"That girl is my soul mate," James said firmly, following after without another word.

* * *

Lily seemed determined to prove everyone in the castle that the fliers Narcissa and Elizabeth had plastered all over the castle meant nothing to her. She was in such a good mood, she didn't even tell off James Potter to sod off when he told her they were planning a party in the Common Room following the Gryffindor V. Hufflepuff Quidditch match on Saturday if Gryffindor won.

"I'm shocked you didn't threaten to tell McGonagall," I told her the morning of the match. "Normally a Marauder party is reason enough to ruin your day."

Lily shook her head, not letting the smile drift from her face. "Not this time. I think a party might be a good thing. Everybody around here could use a little cheering up."

"I'm certainly looking forward to it," Marlene said fashioning a headband out of her Gryffindor scarf.

"You only say that because at the last one you danced on a table while the fifth years cheered you on," Mary reminded her.

"And might I remind you how fun that was?" Marlene said unabashedly, smiling fondly at the memory of Otto Bagman practically bowing to her.

Marlene spent half of the match talking about last year's Marauder party while Otto Bagman and I screamed our lungs out at the players on the field. Lily watched the game with a confused look on her face. She still had broken up with Amos Diggory, and was conflicted as to whether or not to root for her house or her boyfriend. It ended up not being much of a problem for her.

As far as matches went, this one was pretty boring. Gryffindor was annihilating Hufflepuff on the pitch and caught the snitch in the first fifteen minutes. Our entire house roared in delight, and from the teachers stand I was sure I saw Professor McGonagall waging her finger happily at Professor Sprout.

The seventh years had told every Gryffindor a full on celebratory bonanza was going to take place in the Common Room after dinner, and no one saw any of the members of the House team until them.

Lily, Mary, Marlene and I spent the rest of the day once again working on Lily's potions in Slughorn's empty classroom. It wasn't a particularly eventful way to spend a Saturday, but after what Narcissa and Elizabeth had done, none of us wanted Lily to be anywhere near the dungeons on her own.

Marlene and Mary had left early, wanting to do what they could to help set up for the party, and I stayed with Lily helping her clean up her supplies and put away her things.

"Are you sure you're alright, Lils?" I asked her as we put away her cauldron. "You can tell me if you're not, you know. I can help you organize some sort of epic revenge plot."

Lily cracked a smile. "You know you sound like Sirius, don't you?"

"I'm spending too much time with him, I guess," I told her chuckling, "But don't distract me, we're talking about you."

Lily shook her head, "I'm alright, Doe. I promise. If I wanted to talk about it, or it was really bothering me I would tell you. I don't keep things from you."

She raised her wand and muttered a quick incantation to make her scales and potion ingredients disappear.

She flushed with color for a second and then sighed, "Speaking of which. Are we going to continue pretending to one another that we don't know exactly what happened with Sirius, Remus and Severus on the last full moon? It's exhausting and I hate lying to you."

My eyes widened so that they were even bigger than normal. "What?"

Lily blinked quickly. "Severus told me everything, but I already knew about most of it beforehand, so there's no use in pretending that I don't know. Remus told me when you came to him, so I know you know too."

A weight lifted off my chest as I realized that I no longer had to lie to my best friend anymore. It was a relief to be able to be honest with her. Lily was the person I told everything too. I hated keeping something from her.

"I can't believe Severus told you," I said quietly, unsure of what else to say. "He swore to Dumbledore."

"I know," Lily said shaking her head. "And I lectured him for that, but he told me James said that you're the one who saw him go down there. You helped save his life even though you're not particularly fond of him, and even though you're close to Sirius now. I want to thank you for that. It was decent."

She reached forward and pulled me into a tight hug, expressing her gratitude the Lily way.

"You don't have to thank me, Lily," I told her firmly, patting her back. "Severus isn't a bad person. He didn't deserve that, and neither did Remus."

Lily nodded and wiped at the tear that had formed in her eyes. "I know, but still. It actually makes me mad that I had to thank James too. He stopped it, you know? It was mostly Sirius' fault…."

She made a face that suggested she had some choice words to share with Sirius. For some reason that made my insides retch.

"He regrets that Lily," I said quickly, desperate to convince her. "I talked to him. He knows it was wrong. He wasn't thinking."

"And he listened to you?" Lily asked. I nodded.

Lily blinked slowly at me, "Can I ask you something, Doe? As your best friend?"

"You know you can."

Lily put her wand down on the table and looked me directly in the eyes. "As someone who does have a Marauder obsessed with them, have you ever stopped to consider that there might be something a little more than friendship between the two of you?"

I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Is this because of the broom closet?" I asked her, "Because I already told you, nothing happened in there. We were talking about Remus' condition."

Lily shook her head. "It's not that. It's just the way you two interact. It's different than how he treats other people. It's more like how he is with Potter. It's… _deep._ I think he likes you."

It was only to preserve Lily's feelings that I didn't laugh in her face. Instead, I gave her a very serious smile.

"I love you, Lils. But I think you're dead wrong on this, it's Sirius Black, we're talking about. He's slept with ten different girls _this_ month. We're just friends."

Lily looked like she wanted to disagree but didn't, she just wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulder and gave me a good squeeze.

"Come on," she suggested, "Enough, heavy stuff. Let's go to the party, okay?"

We left the potions classroom and headed towards the Common Room, wondering aloud what we were going to find when we got back to Gryffindor Tower. We were only around the corner from the tower and we could already hear the sounds of music pouring out from down the corridor.

Sirius Black was leaning against one of the posts in the corridor puffing on a cigarette, still in his Quidditch uniform.

"Finally, deigned to show up to the party, have you ladies?" he asked cheekily. "I expected better from you, Meadowes. Haven't we been working on your spontaneity?"

Lily gave me a very 'I told you so' look and walked away towards the Common Room, leaving Sirius and I alone in the corridor.

"Evans isn't in the chatty mood tonight, is she?" Sirius asked watching her disappear. "I barely said ten words and she's running for the Fat Lady."

"She's still a touch upset you tried to kill her best mate," I told him taking the cigarette from his fingertips.

He let me take it, looked mildly excited, like I might take a drag from it. I grinned as I dropped it on the corridor floor and stomped on it with my boot.

"Killjoy," Sirius said, frowning at me.

"Cigarettes kill you, I reminded him.

"So do wands," Sirius pointed out, crossing his arms, and grinning a cocky smile, "Are you suggested I shouldn't use one of those either?"

He beamed as he said it, as if he had found the argument that would absolve him from doing anything else reckless that he wanted to do. I had to admit, that in the face of insulting centaurs and setting werewolves on his classmates, a cigarette was hardly the biggest of Sirius' problems.

"Your warped sense of logic never ceases to amaze me," I told him, rolling my eyes.

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. "Are you saying that I amaze you, Meadowes?" he asked, his grin widening.

I stared at him in astonishment, my mouth open "It's like you only hear the parts of sentences that you like, and throw out all the rest."

"James calls it my selective hearing," Sirius said happily.

"Glad to know it's not just me then," I said shaking my head.

Before Sirius could say whatever cheeky response, he had planned, two figures stalked into the castle from the grounds. It was after curfew, even if just. And these two people were very far from their Common Room.

Rabastan Lestrange and Antonin Dolohov were both covered in dirt and laughing about whatever they had been doing on the grounds, a murderous excitement still etched across their features.

I wished then I had gone straight into the Common Room. I hadn't seen Rabastan since what happened in the Potions classroom, except in passing. Every time he smiled at me in the Great Hall or in the corridors, I felt a cold shiver roll down my spine.

I automatically reached for my wand, and Sirius noticed, straightening himself so that he was no longer leaning against the beam.

It only took Rabastan a few seconds to notice me, and when he did. He flashed me his usual, cruel smile.

"Darling Doe," he purred, "Running into you after curfew again. Am I lucky or what?" He cast one look at Sirius, and made a face, clearly put out that he was here.

Sirius looked from Rabastan to me, for a moment, trying to sense what was going on. I could hardly keep the hate I felt for Rabastan from echoing across my face.

Antonin looked bored, as if he was growing tired of Rabastan's constant harassment of me. That made two of us.

"Keep walking, Rabastan," I warned him evenly. "I have my wand tonight."

Sirius looked confused, and blinked at me. I didn't have the time or energy to explain what I meant by that. Rabastan understood, and that was all that was important.

"But why? We had so much fun in that Potions Classroom a few weeks ago," Rabastan said. "Pity we didn't have longer. We could have had some real fun."

I couldn't stop the shiver that ran down my spine at the memory. Even now, the memory of his lips on my neck felt like razor blades against my skin.

"Strange that you find attacking me so thrilling," I snarled at him, trying to keep my teeth from chattering. "You might want to seek some professional help for that. I suggest ten confundous charms to the head. Though for you, it might take eleven."

Rabastan's smile stretched wider. "Ah, how charming you are, Doe. Why don't we ditch that wand of yours and go off somewhere just the two of us? I like it so much better when you're all wide eyed and quiet."

I shivered again. He liked me _scared_. He was sicker than I thought.

Sirius took one look at me and his mouth twitched at Rabastan. "Get lost, Lestrange. Doe and I aren't in the mood to hex you tonight. Your face has barely healed from her last stinging jinx," Sirius squinted at him. "Actually, your face always looks like that. _My_ mistake."

Rabastan narrowed his eyes at Sirius. "Awfully confident aren't you Black? Tell me, how does it feel to be the biggest blood traitor in the history of Purebloods?"

Sirius looked completely unphased. "I don't know Lestrange. How does it feel to have to hold Doe at wand point to talk to her? I wouldn't know of course. Whenever I want to talk to her, she's willing. Bet you've never seen that, have you?"

Rabastan's mouth twitched at the corners, his eyes filling with malice as his wand arm twitched, the shiny tip of his wand slipping through his fingers, poised and ready.

I clutched mine tighter in my hand, wishing to Merlin I had had Amelia teach me non-verbal spells when I had the chance. I turned slightly, and saw Sirius had drawn his own wand too. I wasn't alone tonight. I had back up. If Rabastan wanted to try something. He'd have to take us both. A smile stretched across my face, and Sirius winked at me.

" _Rabastan_ ," Antonin whined.

Rabastan seemed unable to hear his companion. Any trace of his grin fell from his face and he made a breathy noise.

His wand moved forward and he cast a nonverbal spell, a trace of blue light diving between Sirius and me. He had clearly been aiming for Sirius, but had missed him by several inches. We both hit the floor, diving away from it.

" _Locomotor Motis_ ," I shouted pointing my wand at Rabastan. He ducked, missing my leg locker curse by an inch.

Antonin Dolohov flicked his wand and I had to slam to the floor to avoid.

Sirius tried to use a spell I couldn't hear and it missed Rabastan too. I heard him swear from several feet away. Rabastan aimed another one at him and missed. I had to slide to miss another one from Dolohov.

"Enough," Rabastan hissed at me. "Him. Not at _her._ "

"Like it matters," Dolohov hissed back.

Not her. He meant me. The sick bastard had no problem hexing Sirius, but didn't want to hit me? Probably wouldn't want to do anything that made me less pretty.

Sirius cast another jinx, one that hit Dolohov this time. I used the opportunity to cross the floor to where Sirius was crouching, wand still drawn. Sirius looked at me like I had two heads, clearly not realizing that Rabastan with a wand was not the Rabastan I feared.

"What are you, mad?" Sirius demanded, yanking me out of the way, behind him, gripping my upper arm so tightly I could barely move away from him. I shook my head, but his grip on me didn't loosen, keeping me decidedly out of the way.

"Leave, Rabastan," I hissed, my wand still out and ready. "Go."

Dolohov was covering one of his eyes with his hands, and Rabastan was staring at Sirius with pure hatred. He cast one look at Antonin and realized he wouldn't be able to win this fight. Not with me still here.

"You have poor taste in companions, _Dorcas_ ," Rabastan snapped. "I would reconsider that if I were you. It reflects poorly on you. Beauty can only make up for so much, you know."

He cast one more sneer at Sirius and then left, dragging Antonin away by the arm.

When he was out of sight, I sighed a breath of relief. Sirius' grip on my arm loosened, finally having finally decided I wouldn't jump out in front of Rabastan's wand.

Sirius looked furious, staring off where Rabastan had been with a strange expression. "Git doesn't begin to describe what Lestrange is," he said through clenched teeth.

"Trust me, that's not news to me," I told him, running my hands over my face.

Sirius shook his head, still furious. "You alright?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, you?"

"Fine."

Sirius turned to me, his expression graver than I had seen for a while. "He really has it out for you, doesn't he? What was all that talk about the potions classroom?"

I felt my cheeks blush and my gaze drift to the floor. "He caught me without my wand the other night. It doesn't matter. Nothing really happened. I stopped it before it became anything grave."

"Anything grave?" Sirius demanded, looking at me like I had gone mad, misplaced and unidentified anger crossing his features. "What does _that_ mean?"

"It means I handled it, alright?" I said defensively. I could hear my voice rising as I became insecure, and frightened. Sirius face softened watching me squirm and he sighed.

"He called you Dorcas," Sirius said after a minute.

I sighed. "He knows I hate that. He was trying to hurt me, any way he knew how," I said quietly.

Sirius' teeth set together and he let out a low heavy sigh.

"I'll give you this, Meadowes. You're without a doubt, the bravest bird I know," Sirius said shaking his head. "Brave and completely mad."

I cracked a smile as he watched me, knowing he thought I was insane. "Thank you for your help."

I felt a strange upsurge of affection for Sirius that I could hardly explain. It wasn't everyone who would have dueled Slytherins with me in the hallway. It was moments like this I wish Lily and Mary could see. To understand why Sirius was worth spending time with.

"You don't have to thank me for that," Sirius said shaking his head. "I'd love nothing more than to hex Rabastan into next week."

"Yeah, me too."

Sirius looked a little relieved. "Come on, Meadowes. Let's go get tossed."

We walked in tandem towards the portrait of the Fat Lady. When we got there, the Fat Lady was in a terrible mood. We had to repeat the password four times before she even acknowledged out presence.

"You know what?" She said as she swung open, the music from the room almost drowning her words out. "I really hate it when you all throw parties."

We climbed through the portrait hole without another word to her, unable to hear anything sensible over the loud music echoing through the common room. Someone had put the latest Goblin Gang record on and charmed it to play throughout the entire room.

It seemed every single Gryffindor, and a few stragglers from other houses were crowded into the Common Room, dancing to the music or engaged in loud joyous conversation. The room was littered with banners and flags from the match earlier, and the other house team players were gathered in the middle of the room laughing loudly. Tables were bottle of butterbeer, and what looked like plastic cups of fire whiskey, and littered with food, from Honeydukes, impressive considering we weren't allowed in the village.

"Nice try," Caradoc Dearborn said, slapping away the hand of Tiberius McLaggen, a fourth year Gryffindor who reached for a cup of fire whiskey. "Fire whiskey is for fifth year and above. So, either come back next year or have a butterbeer."

Tiberius stalked off with a butter beer while

I turned to Sirius, who was grinning happily. "Why do I think you had something to do with the illicit food and drink?"

"Because you know me well," Sirius replied cheekily, grabbing two cups of fire whiskey from the table and shoved one into my hand. "Have fun, Meadowes. You certainly deserve it."

Sirius smiled and drifted off through the crowds of people to find James and the other team players. I took a hearty sip of my fire whiskey, ignoring how it burned my throat. After that run in with Rabastan, I needed it.

I scanned the room in search of my friends. Lily was standing in the corner near the team with Amos Diggory, looking more bored than she probably should at a party. I could see even from here, Amos was talking her ear off. I wondered how much longer that was going to last.

I didn't see Mary anywhere, but Marlene was in the corner, swaying back and forth to the music while she chatted with most of the sixth years. Kristin Morris was dirty dancing with her friend Nora behind her, and Sturgis Podmore was watching them with a mild interest while Gideon and Otto listened to Marlene.

I made my way over to them, and Marlene beamed when she was me.

"DOE!" She shouted happily, wrapping an arm around me, from the tone of her voice I could tell she was already working on getting tossed.

"How many of these has she had?" I asked Gideon while she hugged me dramatically.

"We stopped counting at four or five," he admitted sheepishly.

"She's in for a rough morning, tomorrow," Otto agreed.

"I've been waiting for you, you know," Marlene told me, drunkenly "Lily said you were off shagging Sirius in a broom closet."

I felt my cheeks burn and my stomach flipped nervously, so I took another sip of my fire whiskey.

Otto chuckled and Gideon choked on his sip of fire whiskey, coughing. Otto pounded him on the back.

"You're a such a liar, Marley," I told her, turning slightly pink. "I know Lily didn't say that."

Marlene shrugged, "I may have edited a bit. She did say you were off with Sirius. What was I supposed to think?"

"That we were hexing Rabastan Lestrange," I told her.

Marlene frowned, "That's decidedly less exciting," she said drunkenly.

"It doesn't sound like it," Gideon told me, with a wide smile.

"It wasn't," I told him. "He deserved it."

Gideon took another hearty sip of his fire whiskey, watching me while he did. "He should have known better than to mess with Doe Meadowes," he said confidently. "You may be tiny, but you've got power."

Marlene's eyes darted to mine and a wide smile stretched across her face, as Gideon smiled at me. I took another sip of my fire whiskey to give myself something to do while Gideon and Otto talked about some save Fabian had made, but I swore Gideon kept watching me out of the corner of his eye as he did.

"Where's Mary?" I asked Marlene, over the music.

Marlene threw her head back and laughed. "You mean tarty Mary? She's over there snogging my brother's brains out. I had no idea she even liked him. Bloody mad, isn't it?"

I followed where she was pointing and saw Mary and Landon wrapped around each other in the same armchair. I felt myself smile, glad that everything there had worked out for Mary. I couldn't wait for tonight in the dormitory so I could finally get the details.

"Good for Landon," Otto said proudly. Marlene rolled her eyes at him, and the song changed. Kristin and Nora, wandered over dragging Marlene and I over to the makeshift dance floor and demanding we dance with them. I had to drain the rest of my fire whiskey before I did. Marlene needed no coaxing, dancing against me, and giggling as we spun around the dance floor.

Caradoc Dearborn watched her wistfully from the corner while she did. Marlene drunk was even more vivacious than sober Marlene. She could convince anyone to do anything, and eventually even dragged Otto, and Gideon on the dance floor. After two songs, Otto and Marlene tried to recreate some famous muggle dance movie move that almost knocked over Kristin. Gideon tried took my hand and tried to spin me, but I was so nervous and uncoordinated, I stepped on his foot and almost tripped us both, after that I stumbled out of their way and off the dance floor as Marlene twirled between the two men.

I was starting to feel the effects of the fire whiskey now, a slight buzz in my brain. I was only having gilly water from here on out. It was so warm in the common room now, I was able to shrug out of my sweater and still be perfectly warm in jeans and a tank top. In fact, it almost felt _too_ warm. Had it always been so warm in here? I wondered if it was the firewhiskey talking.

"Nice moves, Doe," Amelia chucked, holding a cup of fire whiskey tightly in her hand, as I passed her, "I particularly like that bit where Gideon tried to flirt with you and you almost knocked both of you to the ground."

I turned scarlet and downed half a bottle of gilly water. "Oh hush. And what are you even doing here, Amelia. Didn't you hear, Hufflepuff _lost_ ," I teased.

"Oh, _did_ we?" Amelia asked, tossing a crumpled maroon and gold napkin at me. One I was too tipsy to avoid. "Your gorgeous friend, Sirius invited me. Seemed to think it would be funny to have _even_ Hufflepuffs celebrating your win."  
My brain wasn't working properly under the effects on fire whiskey. Sirius was attractive. Even Amelia could admit that, and she was picky. He was probably even better looking than Rabastan, and as much as I hated admitting that. He was very attractive, but still Sirius was prettier. He had nicer eyes and fuller lips. I blushed again.

"Are you blushing?" Amelia asked me, laughing slightly.

"No, I'm buzzed," I told her, shaking my head. Amelia chuckled again. "I've never seen you like this, it's hilarious. I'm going to remind you of it tomorrow."

"I'm sure you will. I think I'll stick to gilly water for the rest of the night."

"Wise choice."

My brain turned back to Sirius and I scanned the room for him, he was in the back of the room next to the other players. He was downing what looked like a second or third cup of fire whiskey and grinning while he chatted with Amara Selwyn, one of the prettiest fourth years, a Hufflepuff.

She whispered something and Sirius threw his head back in laughter. Her lips were full and pouty and she had long tousled brown hair. I felt an instant hatred for her that I didn't understand.

"You okay?" Amelia asked me, reading my face.

I nodded. "I'm fine."

I wasn't fine. Whatever I had seen had put me in a strangely, weird mood that I didn't understand.

I was still watching Sirius and Amara, feeling irritated when Amelia looked behind me and sighed. I was still buzzed and my senses were taking longer to process things than it would normally.

"What?" I asked, still watching Sirius and Amara with a frown.

"Odie Macmillan's coming over here. I'm pretty sure he likes you. He asked me about you the other day in the Common Room. So, look out."

Odie Macmillan was coming towards us. Another Hufflepuff. Merlin, how many had been invited? I watched Odie as he pushed politely past Alice and Rylie and walked towards the two of us. Odie was moderately attractive in a plain way. He was tall, with short cropped brown hair and hazel eyes. I didn't know him well, but from what Amelia had told me, he was an average guy. Right now, he'd do just fine.

"Give me your fire whiskey," I told Amelia quickly. She eyed me strangely and raised an eyebrow. "What happened to gilly water for the rest of the night?"

"Amelia."

"Fine," she said handing me her cup, "Freak."

I downed it in seconds, my already poor judgement making a worse decision. Amelia looked at me like she thought I was crazy, but didn't say anything.

"Hey Amelia," Odie said, looking far more at me than at Amelia. Amelia seemed to sense this, rolling her eyes and giving me a knowing look.

"Do you know Doe, Odie?" she asked, clearly cutting to the chase. Amelia didn't beat around the bush. "No? Well here she is. Doe, Odie. Odie, Doe. Chat away."

Amelia flitted off, sticking her tongue out at me behind his back as she wandered off to dance with Marlene and Nora.

 _Traitor_ , I thought quietly.

"So, Doe," Odie said brightly. "Professor Sprout told me you hate Herbology, and I can't understand that. I decided I had to get to the bottom of it with you personally."

Smooth, very smooth, I thought. Not quite as direct as Sirius might have been but I knew exactly what Macmillan was trying to do. Normally, I would have been polite and found a way to leave the conversation. But with Sirius and Amara over there, looking far too pleased, I decided not to take that route.

"Well it's not that I hate Herbology," I said, my bottom lip pushing out while I spoke, "it's more that it hates me, you see."

Odie raised an eyebrow, "Hate you? No way. I'm calling Dragon Dung."

"Honest," I said, letting my eyelashes slowly trace the tops of my eyelid, in a way I had seen Marlene do a hundred times. "Last week, a vine ripped out an entire chunk of my hair."

I was a hundred percent convinced that I what I was trying to do whenever work, and that I would have to become Marlene to accomplish it, when Odie grinned so wide I knew I had done it.

He reached out to touch a piece of hair that hung near my cheeks, tracing it slowly. "Well you can't tell. Still looks great to me."

My brain was still fuzzy from the fire whiskey but I knew it was working. I looked up, over Odie's shoulder to Sirius and Amara, and found Sirius looking back at me, clutching his cup of firewhiskey tightly, his mouth hanging open slightly. He was watching. Watching Odie Macmillan stroke my hair, and grin at me like I was Marlene on boxing day.

I pretended not to notice Sirius watching, hoping I was coy enough to pull it off, and doubting I was with my firewhiskey brain.

"Do you want to dance?" Odie asked. "This is a good song."

The song that had just started was one of the louder faster ones on the album. One Mary had played over in the dormitory a thousand times. One I knew.

I nodded and followed Odie to the edge of the dancefloor, making sure to stay in eye line as I spun around to the music, dancing with Odie. The longer I danced, the more fun I had, running my hands through my hair and swinging my hips to the beat of the song. It was almost to forget Odie was there until he was behind, his hands resting on my forearm, then my shoulder while I danced. I spun, my brain was fuzzy now all judgment out the astronomy tower window. I lifted my head and caught sight of Sirius again. Amara was talking to him, but he didn't look like he was listening. He was looking over at the dance floor, and I didn't think I imagined how annoyed he looked. He downed the entire cup of firewhiskey in his hand.

It hit me then when I turned and saw Odie Macmillan, how ridiculous I was being. This was the firewhiskey talking.

Feeling lightheaded, I turned to Odie and said, "I'm a little dizzy. Thanks for the dance."

Odie looked disappointed, "Want me to come with you?"

I shook my head. "I'll be alright."

Hestia Jones and Marlene were both standing on a coffee table, dancing together and singing loudly to the song that was playing.

Nora and Kristin bumped into the two of us, dragging Odie back deeper into the dance floor and I walked as far away as I could searching the room for somewhere to sit. I couldn't see any of my friends, but the couches in the corner of the room looked appealing. This side of the room was empty except for one person. Remus sat by himself on one of the couches.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" I asked as I walked over. It was quieter over here. You could still hear the music but it wasn't pounding in your ears like it was over on the other side of the room. I could hear myself think here.

Remus patted the spot next to him, "Not at all," he said, offering me a kind smile.

I plopped down next to him, and sighed at how good it felt to sit. "This feels nice."

"You look tired," Remus said softly, smiling.

"I am," I told him, bringing my knees to my chest. "I should never have had any firewhiskey. That stuff is poison."

Remus chuckled and held up the bottle of firewhiskey he was holding. "Tell me about it. I avoid it myself. Lest I get too inebriated and tell a room full of strangers that I'm a werewolf."

I laughed before I could stop myself, and couldn't fight the smile on my face. It was surprising to hear Remus make a joke about his condition.

"Probably a wise decision," I said, unable to stop myself from chuckling.

Remus smiled, and gave a nod of his head as he took a sip of the butterbeer. From here, I could see one of the red scars, sticking out of the neck of his sweater, and looked away quickly.

"James told me what you did last month," Remus said softly, "I wanted to tell you thank you. It if weren't for you, I might not be sitting here now, and neither would Severus."

He met my eyes carefully and offered me a small smile.

"James did everything," I told him honestly, not wanting to take credit for what James had done that night. "I just went and found him. He did all the work."

"Still," Remus pressed firmly. "You helped. Then and after, with Sirius. I know you're the one who helped him understand the implications of it. Much as he'd like to think so, James right hook isn't as enlightening as you are. You're a good friend, Doe. Loyal."

I felt a warmth spread through my chest. It was a compliment that I was so sincere and so appreciated, I hardly had wards to express how it made me feel.

"Thank you, Remus," I said softly, wrapping my arms around my knees.

"Thank _you_."

"So where are the rest of your dorm mates?" I asked. "Is Peter out there, dominating the dance floor?" I joked.

Remus cracked a smile. "No, thankfully. Although from what I've seen tonight. He might be better than _you."_

Two jokes in the span of a few minutes. Remus was in an exceptionally good mood tonight.

"Alright, Lupin," I said slightly astonished, as he chuckled softly at his own joke. "I never claimed to be a gifted dancer. My skills are with a wand, thank you very much."

Remus smiled. "Peter's over there with James, doing some insipid drinking game that will no doubt land them in the hospital wing with alcohol poisoning, and Sirius… Well it looks like he's coming here now actually."

My eyes flew up maniacally, searching the room. I didn't have too. It was impossible to miss him. Sirius was only a few feet from us now, tossed and without his Quidditch robes. His Gryffindor sweater clinging to his muscled chest like a Quidditch ad. I felt my cheeks burn, as his light grey eyes searched mine carefully.

"I found you two, finally," Sirius said carefully, looking at us hesitantly.

He was buzzed like me, and crossed his arms across his chest, surveying both Remus and I carefully. He was acting odd. I couldn't tell if he was more buzzed than I was or not. The longer I sat down, the fuzzier things got around the edges.

"Are you guys having any fun at all?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow. "There's a party going on and you're sitting on the couch."

Remus smiled at Sirius. "We were having a lovely conversation about Doe's lack of coordination on the dancefloor."

"We've decided I shouldn't drop out of Hogwarts to pursue it after all," I said, the firewhiskey making me deliver it slower and less confidently than usual.

"You looked fine out there to me," Sirius said flatly. "Odie Macmillan certainly wasn't complaining."

If I wasn't buzzed, I was sure I would have sensed the irritation in his tone. Remus seemed to notice it, and gave him a strange look.

"I wouldn't know. I'm a little tossed," I admitted, my voice sterner than normal. "I'm surprised you were able to see anything around Amara Selwyn's massive hair."

"How can you be a little tossed?" Sirius demanded, his voice proving he too wasn't sober. "Either you are or you aren't"

"Good to know," I said, slightly irritated.

Beside us, Remus looked extremely confused, staring back at the two of us like he had no idea what to do or say. Like he had been dropped in some sort of parallel universe.

"So," Sirius pressed me, "Are you or aren't you tossed?"

I didn't know why it mattered to him so much whether I was or wasn't intoxicated, but I my head was starting to heart and I didn't really care much about Sirius asinine justifications for his actions. I just rolled my eyes.

Sirius moved towards us and tumbled, almost falling down and landing on the floor. Remus jumped upward and hooked one of Sirius' arms over his shoulder.

"Come on," Remus said. "I think you should come upstairs. You'd had enough."

Sirius shoved him off. "I'm fine, Moony. Leave me alone. I'm talking to Doe."

"I really think you should come upstairs," Remus urged, he put his arm over Sirius and trying to lead him over to the boy's dormitory.

"No," Sirius said firmly, I still wasn't sure how tossed he was. My own buzz wasn't helping.

"Can't you see I'm trying to have a conversation here?"

Remus looked at me and then Sirius, unsure of what to do.

"I'll help you," I told Remus, swinging Sirius' other arm over my shoulder, and helping him lead him towards the staircase.

"This is ridiculous," Sirius said shaking his head as we lead him forward, "I'm _fine._ "

I tripped as we climbed the first staircase and Remus sighed as we climbed.

"You know," Remus said quietly. "I'm starting to think letting someone tossed help me bring someone tossed upstairs is sort of like the blind leading the blind."

I leaned over Sirius' chest to look at Remus sternly. "Might I suggest not turning on the only person helping you right now?" I asked as we climbed the fifth staircase.

Remus smiled, "Good point."

By the time we got to the door of the fifth-year dormitory, Sirius seemed to sober up slightly, demanding he could walk into his own dormitory himself. Remus ignored him and opened the door, leading us both in, in case Sirius made a run for it.

I had never been in the boy's dormitory before. It looked exactly like ours, only opposite and much messier. None of the beds were made, and each of their trunks was open and rifled through, with shoes, sweaters and books littered across the floor.

Sirius leaned against the poster of one of the beds and raised an eyebrow at both Remus and me. "I told you I was fine. I don't know why you two insisted I come up here."

"Better safe than sorry," Remus said evenly. Sirius narrowed his eyes at him. "I need to talk to Doe, _alone,_ " he told his friend carefully. I sighed. I didn't know what this was about, but it didn't sound good.

Remus sighed. "I don't know if that's such a good idea-"

"Respectfully, I'd like to ask you to piss off, Moony," Sirius said with a smile.

I threw Remus a sympathetic smile as he frowned at Sirius, and headed for the door.

"I'll give you two a minute then," Remus said closing the door. I could hear him walking down the stairs.

"You didn't have to be rude to Remus, you know," I told Sirius firmly, my head was still spinning. "He was only trying to _help_ you."

"Why are you angry with me?" Sirius asked firmly.

"Excuse me?"

"You're angry with me," Sirius repeated, coming to stand in front of me. "I could see it on your face, when you were with your friend Amelia. And right now. You're looking at me the way Evans looks at Prongs, and I want to know what I did."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied crossing my arms. The firewhiskey was started to make me feel like my entire body was detached from my head, dissolving slowly into a hundred pieces.

"You're angry now," Sirius said, his voice slurring it slightly. "I can _see_ it on your face."

"You're mad," I told him firmly.

" _I'm_ mad?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes. " _You're_ the one whose furious with me for no reason, and trying to make me mad too."

"How would I make you mad?" I asked. "You're not making any sense, Sirius."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "You danced with Macmillan. He had his hands all over you."

"So?" I asked crossing my arms in irritation. "It's a party. You do that all the time. Why does it matter?"

"You don't do that," Sirius reminded me. "I'm a slag. You're not. It's _different_ , and you know it."

"Do you have a point you'd like to make?" I asked him, leaning back against the bed post, "or do you want me to just stand here and have you yell at me some more?"

Sirius was standing right in front of me now, eyeing me like he couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth.

"You're driving me mad, Meadowes. I don't understand a single thing you do, you know that? You're absolutely fucking barmy," he said shaking his head as he reached into his pocket for a carton of cigarettes, pulling one out and trying to light it with the end of his wand.

Now I was furious. I smacked it out of his hand, watching as both the cigarette and his wand went crashing to the ground.

"Enough with the cigarettes," I snapped, growing more irritated by the second.

Sirius stared back at me with astonishment. His full lips parted as his mouth hung open in surprise, and his eyes were wide with shock. For a second I thought he was going to yell, and then he didn't. He did something else.

He kissed me.

Sirius' large hand locked itself under my jaw pulling my mouth to his. It took me longer than it usually would to realize what was happening, the firewhiskey slowing down my motor functions.

Sirius lips were full and soft, moving against mine, his other hand grazing my waist, holding me to him. His firm body pressing against mine, pinning me between him and the four posters.

I acted without thinking, my hands finding their way to his neck. One of them knotting in his curly dark hair. Sirius moaned into my mouth, pulling me closer to him. One of his hands found my back and gripped my shirt.

He tasted like firewhiskey and pumpkin pasties. The smell coming off of him was woodsy, with a slight trace of the freshly cut grass from the Quidditch pitch. Even with the fuzziness from the firewhiskey, I felt something strange rip through me. Something I had felt when I walked into Diagon Alley, and again when I entered Hogwarts for the first time. It was a feeling I didn't have a name for, with or without firewhiskey.

We broke apart for only a second, long enough for Sirius to whisper "Doe." He murmured it across my neck and didn't even take a moment before he pulled my mouth back to his. My head was spinning. Sirius hands roamed over my waist while he kissed me, setting my skin on fire everywhere he touched me.

I didn't have time to breath, or think. Especially not to think.

The door to the dormitory slammed opened and Sirius and I broke apart.


	15. Perspective

**AUTHORS NOTE:** Alright guys hang in with me, because this Chapter is a set up for some BIG things that happen next chapter. Get ready.

15

Perspective

I was never all that fond of Peter Pettigrew.

I didn't know why exactly. He had never done anything to me, personally. In five years of knowing him, he'd never stepped on my foot or taken the last cauldron cake. He was sort of blundering idiot, but that never hurt anyone but _him._

I had no specific reason for him to bother me, but for some unidentifiable reason, Peter had always gotten under my skin.

He was a Marauder, however surprising that seemed, but he lacked the exceptional qualities that the others had that made up for their troublesome interfering. Remus was brilliant and kind. James was funny and talented. Sirius was Sirius, dynamic and confident almost to the extreme.

Peter Pettigrew, whether it was his fault or not, always fell short in comparison.

So, when the door to the dormitory opened and I saw it was Peter Pettigrew standing there, I felt all of my dislike for him bubble up like a misbrewed potion.

Sirius and I had broken apart at the sound of the wooden door smacking open against the stone wall, but his hand still lingered on my waist. He still had me pressed between him and the bed post. We stared at Peter silently, knowing it was clear to anyone what had just been going on.

Anyway, apparently, except Peter.

"Oi! There you are Padfoot!" Peter slurred drunkenly, absolutely unaware of what he had stepped into. He stared off into the distance, his eyes glassy and his face beet red from all the firewhiskey. "Prongs set me to find you! See if you were puking your guts out or something. Ha!"

He was clearly far too gone to know what was going on. He was saying back and forth and giggling like an idiot. Sirius and I exchanged a quick look, and he backed up so I could move out from underneath him.

"Tell him I'm coming, Wormtail. I just need a minute," Sirius said, but it came out all in one word, slurred. His eyes were locked on me, like he wanted desperately to say something, and was waiting for Peter to leave.

"But he says he _needs_ you," Peter pressed.

"I'll be right there, Wormtail," Sirius said, his tone still sloshed but firm.

"He told me I couldn't leave until you came. He said he didn't care what or _who_ you were doing up here. He said you had to come."  
"It's fine," I said quickly, my breathing ragged, before Peter Pettigrew came to his realizations and sobered up enough to understand what he had just seen. "I'll see you later, Sirius."

I didn't wait for him to say anything else. My heart was racing in equal measure with my spinning head, and I had to get out of that room.

I pushed past Peter and disappeared through the door without another word, taking the stairs two or three at a time, and hoping I didn't trip and land face first on the Common Room floor. I almost barreled straight into Tiberius McLaggen and Dirk Creswell on my way down, as they looked on with a cheeky expression.

I couldn't stop the anxiety that felt like it was ripping through my chest as I ended up back in the Common Room. The room was still unchanged, everyone drinking and dancing along to the music. How was that possible? How was the possible when _everything_ had changed?

I didn't understand why my heart was thudding in my chest so much.

I leaned against the wall by the staircase to the boy's dormitory, my heart racing. I couldn't shut up the thoughts that seemed to be playing on a loop in my head.

 _Sirius._ Manwhore, Slept-with-half-the-castle Sirius had kissed me.

I didn't how to feel. Or what to feel. Sirius had slowly become one of my best friends, and in seconds we had gone from fighting to kissing.

 _Good_ kissing. It had been really good. Every nerve in my body had wanted to _keep_ kissing him.

The idea seemed crazy to me. Sirius and I had become really close in last few months. He had even become one of my best friends. How could I have been in the dormitory kissing him?

It didn't make any sense. One second we had been fighting, and the next _.. that?_ It made no sense to me, and the firewhiskey buzz ripping through me wasn't helping me analyze the situation any better.

I couldn't think at all. Or see. It looked like the room was spinning all around me.

"Hey, you," Lily said brightly, heading towards me with a bright, happy smile. "Are you alright?"

Amos stood a few feet behind her, waiting patiently and looking at Lily like she was the brightest and shiniest thing in the room. I hadn't seen her all night, and I looked back at her wide-eyed sure she could see what had just happened written across my face. Lily knew me. _Really_ knew me. Every ounce of me wanted to tell her what had happened a minute ago, but something stopped me. She was the one who had told me only hours ago that she thought Sirius and I were something more than friends. I couldn't tell her about this, until Sirius and I had talked about it first. The idea of talking about it to Sirius flared a whole new spike of anxiety in my chest.

I nodded my head at Lily. "I had a little too much to drink, and it's loud in here. I think I'm going to head to bed."

I felt lightheaded and dizzy now, and wasn't sure if I could even make it to the dormitory.

"I'll come with you," Lily said urgently, wrapping one of her tiny arms around my waist for support. "Mary and I already had to drag Marlene up there kicking and screaming ten minutes ago, but to be fair she was trying to rank the sixth years by attractiveness _in front of them_."

Lily let out a little chuckle and led me through the Common Room, and back towards the dormitory staircase. It took longer than usual to make it to the dormitory, due to my stumbling.

I didn't let myself think the entire time. The only thing I could focus on was how dizzy I was. The room seemed to be spinning and disappearing around me, everything blending together.

"Doe got drunk too?" Alice giggled as we stumbled through the door. She and Rylie were sitting on the edge of Rylie's bed with Mary, while Marlene snored beside them.

"Shocking, I know," Lily said, helping me to my bed, where I fell straight onto it like a sack of potatoes.

" _I'mnotdrunk_ ," I mumbled incoherently from my pillow, further proving their point. The rest of them giggled. Lily sat down on her own bed and kicked off her shoes.

"How are things going with Amos?" Alice asked her. "I saw you brought him tonight."

Lily shrugged. "Oh yes. I did. I thought it might be fun, but I don't know. He didn't seem to be having fun..."

I could hear what they were saying, but it sounded like I was under water. There was a rhythmic beating inside of my skull and my vision seemed to be blurring more and more by the second. I was desperate to do anything to distract myself. To not think about what had just happened, or the fact that as much as I tried to ignore it, the desire for it to happen _again_.

I let my eyes slip closed, and fell asleep.

* * *

 _I was six._

 _Six years old and sitting in my mother's lap, her gentle fingers combing through my hair, as she intricately twisted it into a braid like the one she wore. She was young herself, a fresh twenty-eight years old, and smiling like she was the happiest person she knew._

 _An old leathery photo album laid open in my lap. I kept flipping through it with my tiny, clumsy fingers. Most of the pictures were of us. The three photo versions dancing in an and out of the photos making me giggle. I flipped the page and found a photo roughly shoved into the page, yellowed and older than the others, but clearly still a wizard photo. The witches and wizards in the photo all sneered at me. An older, blonde witch with eyes the same color as ours glared from beside a dark-haired wizard with glasses. Each of their hands placed on the shoulders of the three younger people sat in front of them._

 _Each of the children looked very nearly the same. Two older boys, and one younger girl. All blonde, all with big blue eyes, and pouty lips. I instantly recognized the girl in the middle, it was mum, though she looked more miserable than I had ever seen her. There was no smile on her face. No light in her eyes. She looked like a ghost of herself._

 _"_ _Mummy?" I had asked, pointing a chubby finger at the photo, "Who are these people?"_

 _My mother instantly stiffened behind me. Her fingers frozen still in my hair. Even then, I knew she was upset. She took a moment, and a deep breath and then took a nimble finger and pointed it at the girl in the photo._

 _"_ _Well, that's mummy when she was young," she said softly. Her finger traced the photo wistfully, moving on to the older witch and wizard, "and those are your grandparents."_

 _She poked the older of the two brothers, "That's my eldest brother, Auberon," she moved onto the younger one, who's eyes were lit with a rage. "And that's my other brother, Aubleus."_

 _Behind us, I heard my father enter the room. He was covered in dirt from charming the deer away from out honking daffodils in the garden. Even his wand was covered in a thick layer of dirt, but he didn't seem to mind._

 _"_ _Why don't we ever see them?" I asked my mum softly, turning in her lap to face her._

 _My mother frowned, her eyes filling with something I was far too young to understand._

 _"_ _Well," she said evenly, "They're bad wizards-" she started._

 _My father went tense behind her. "Aurelia," he said warningly fear etched into every pore of his kind face. He was scared, and he had reason to be._

I woke up instantly. My hands reaching at the sides of my mattress as my chest rose and fell in succession. It was just a dream. A memory. That had happened almost ten years ago.

I remembered it. Remembered that day. The first time I had seen Aubleus. I hadn't known then that he would kill my parents five years later. The familiar pang of grief and guilt I was accustomed too now, flashed through my chest.

I sat up instantly in my bed and instantly regretted it. My head was _pounding_ , and I was lightheaded, fighting the urge to lean over and vomit into my trunk. I groaned loudly, holding my hand over my mouth to stop that idea.

"Do you feel as miserable as I do?" Marlene whined from her bed beside me. She was tucked deeply into the covers, pinned down with several pillows so only her perfect golden head was visible, sticking out.

The rest of our dorm was empty. Our friends had probably already headed down to breakfast without us.

"Worse," I complained, holding my head in my hands. It felt like someone had planted their very own Whomping Willow in my head, and the branches were taking turns pounding against my skull.

I was hungover.

"I can't believe _you_ got tossed," Marlene said rolling over to shake her head at me. "And I was so drunk I _missed_ it."

Something ached in my chest for half a second as my recollections from the night before came flooding back in messy, disjointed fragments. They were fuzzy at first, as they floated around my head.

I rembered hexing Rabastan in the hall. I remember hanging out with Marlene, Gideon and Otto while music raged in the background. A hundred bodies swaying back and forth in the golden, and maroon light.

After that things started to get really fuzzy. I vaguely remembered speaking with Amelia, and a flash of Odie Macmillan. I think Remus had been there too, but everything was just so jumbled. I barely rembered anything.

Then it hit me. A memory strong and vivid it almost knocked the wind out of me. The taste of firewhiskey and the familiar smell of the Quidditch pitch. Something so vivid and clear I was _sure_ it was real. Even my twisted subconscious couldn't make up something like that.

Sirius and I kissing.

I knew I couldn't have imagined it. I didn't know what had happened or how we had gotten there, but I vividly rembered kissing Sirius Black. I could still remember how he tasted. How his body felt pressed against mine. And being interrupted by Peter Pettigrew. My hand flew to my mouth, tracing my bottom lip in disbelief, my cheeks turning a vivid shade of scarlet.

 _How?_ How could that be possible? I had no idea how we had gotten there or what could have possibly prompted that, but I couldn't hide the spark of desire that raged through my as I remembered Sirius' hands on my waist and knotting in my hair.

'What?" Marlene asked, reading my face with a slight chuckle, leaning up on her elbows so she could face me. "Remembering that you almost tripped Gideon Prewett?"

"Yeah," I lied softly, my brain still running a million miles a second as I thought about what had happened in the boy's dormitory. How had _that_ happened? How was I going to deal with it? I felt pit in my stomach forming at the idea of facing him, adding to my already level maximum levels of discomfort.

My head was still pounding as Marlene and I got out of bed and changed into fresh clothes, and it was all I could do to keep from yanking on her arm and telling her _everything._ I wanted too. The weight of it made my head feel like it weighed about a thousand pounds. I decided against it, focusing on getting dressed.

I picked the softest sweater I owned and left my hair loose, my head pounding far too much to imagine putting it up. Marlene seemed to feel just as horrible as I did, and we walked to the Great Hall together slowly, resting our heads on one another for support.

"Can you believe that Mary and my brother snogged in front of the entire house last night?" Marlene asked as we climbed the staircase to the Great Hall, looking more shocked than I had ever seen her. "I suppose I'll have to support _that_ now. Merlin knows, Landon's going to be downright unbearable about it."

I had forgotten about Mary and Landon. It seemed everyone had been kissing in Gryffindor tower last night.

"Let them be happy, Marls. She likes him," I told her. "That's a good thing."

"She told you?" Marlene asked at a despicable I could barely hear this morning. "That is so not fair! Remind me to jinx her when we see her."

"To be fair. He is your brother," I reminded her. "She didn't know how'd you take it."

"I'd have told her she could do better," Marlene said scrunching her nose. "She's a looker."

I snorted. "Remind me to tell Landon you said that when we see him, yeah?"

"Trust me, Doe. It's nothing he doesn't already know," Marlene teased, fluttering her eyelashes like she was in no discomfort whatsoever. "He's always been jealous of how pretty _I_ am."

We walked into the Great Hall, arm in arm, my heart slamming against my chest wall as it did. It was far too loud in there this morning. My pounding headache seemed to intensify with every laugh or chatter near me. I moaned clutching at my head as we plopped down in the seats across from Lily and Mary.

The Marauders, minus Remus, were only sitting a few seats away. My eye's immediately found Sirius, my cheeks betraying me by letting a tiny of flush of color onto my fair skin. He was laughing at something James had said, head thrown back as he chuckled.

Looking at him now only intensified the memory from last night. I could practically feel his lips on mine. I instantly turned away, facing my friends instead. I didn't know why my heart had started racing or why the smell of the Quidditch pitch was filling my nose, but I did know it was far more than I was ready to deal with this morning.

"Morning," Lily said with a slight chuckle. "How are you two feeling?"

"Like I took a confundous charm to the head," I moaned quietly, clutching my head fiercely.

Marlene nodded in agreement, "and then downed an entire bottle of Firewhiskey."

I dropped my head onto my arms and let my hair spill over it, as it pounded incessantly. "Please don't use the F word around me for at _least_ another month."

"Firewhiskey, Firewhiskey, Firewhiskey," Marlene whispered into my ear ominously, as I tried and failed to swat her away.

Mary and Lily both chuckled quietly and then took a bite of their breakfast.

"I happened to have a great night," Mary said, her face glowing with excitement as she turned to look at Landon McKinnon further down the table. He saw her smiling at him, and winked at her. Marlene pretended to vomit onto the table, and Mary kicked her under the bench.

"Don't be judgmental," Mary warned her. "He may be your brother, but I _like_ him."

Marlene shook her head. "I am not judgmental. If I was judgmental I would be bringing up the fact that Lily still hasn't tossed that braggart Amos, and that I witnessed Doe dancing with a _Hufflepuff."_

"Well thank goodness you didn't bring it up then, huh?" Lily said sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she buttered her toast. She threw me a sympathetic look.

I barely remembered what Marlene was talking about at first, and then it hit me like a slap to the face. I had danced with Odie Macmillan last night. It seemed oddly out of character. I groaned as I swore to never touch a bottle of firewhiskey again.

Marlene turned to me. "Speaking of which, Doe. _Odie Macmillan?_ Come on, you can do better than that. If you aren't going to go after Prewett, at least have the decency to stick with a Gryffindor man."

My face turned scarlet as Sirius' face popped into my head. I realized that I had in fact kissed a Gryffindor man. I didn't even want to imagine the look on her Marlene's face if she knew about what I _had_ been up to in the dormitories that night. I let my eyes wander over to Sirius for half a second. He was still talking to James. I looked away before he looked over here.

"That was nothing more than a drunken decision never to be repeated," I told Marlene quietly.

"Or to be discussed ever again," I added warningly, looking at the overly excited look on her face.

"Odie's going to be crushed," Mary told me, pretending to pout. "Bet he's already picking out china patterns."

I shrugged, taking a hearty sip from my pumpkin juice and pointedly keeping my back to the Hufflepuff table.

My head was still killing me and I took out my wand, contemplating whether or not a bobble-head charm would do any good when Remus strode into the Great Hall with a silver pitcher clutched in his hand.

"Oh good, it's finished!" Lily said clapping her hands together happily as he sat down between her and his friends.

"The hangover cure potion is officially brewed," Remus said, conjuring several silver glasses with a flick of his wand. "It was a little tricky without your instructions, Lily. But I don't think I butchered it too badly."

"I'm sure you did a great job," Lily said, helping him fill the glasses with a sloshy thick, maroon colored substance.

She took two of them and slid them over to Marlene and I. "Remus and I got up at the crack of dawn to make this for all you lot. Figured you'd need it."

"Bloody hell," Marlene said tossing her eyes back like a champ. From the look of disgust on her face, I was sure it wasn't going to taste like pumpkin juice.

I took mine gingerly and took a hearty gulp. It tasted like dragon meat and left a sour taste in my mouth but it seemed to do the trick. The second I downed it, a comforting humming filled my chest, instantly relieving my headache. I groaned happily.

"Thank you," I said downing the rest. "I'm going to marry you both."

Without the pounding in my head, I was finally able to focus and lift my head off of the table.

"Are you honestly talking about polygamy and not inviting me?" Sirius asked cheekily, dropping down in the seat next to me, with James and Peter. "I'm hurt, Meadowes. I thought we were closer than that."

I didn't say anything, simply surveying his face. He seemed perfectly normal. Like nothing even remotely different had happened the night before. I had to resist the urge to let my mouth hang open in surprise.

He took one of Remus' silver cups and downed its contents in seconds. He gave quick shudder when he finished. "Don't know how I'd get through a hangover without you, Moony."

"It was my idea," Lily reminded him.

Sirius bowed to her over the table, "Well then, thank you Evans. Maybe James is right and you are just as wonderful as he thinks."

Lily rolled her eyes and James beamed at his best friend. "What did I tell you Padfoot?" James said happily, "Evans is like the sun?"

"Willing to burn you to death?" Lily suggested.

James raised a cheeky eyebrow. "Nope. Hot and the center of my universe." Lily scowled as he winked at her.

"So, you _are_ hungover then?" I asked Sirius carefully, watching how I phrased it. I was very careful not to say anything in front of our friends, and hoped he'd do the same.

"Hungover?" James asked, letting out a throaty chuckle. "That's putting it _mildly._ "

Sirius ignored him and grinned back at me. "Yeah, I'd say so. Moony tells me I bogarted an entire bottle of firewhiskey, but I don't have any recollection of that, so I think he's lying."

'Why would I lie about that?" Remus asked shaking his head.

"To besmirch my good name, Moony."

James snorted. "You have a good name, Padfoot?"

"I have a fine name, Prongs," Sirius said firmly, "and a reputation to match, hush."

He seemed exactly the same as he normally did, I could barely believe what I was witnessing.

"So, you don't remember anything then?" I pressed, unable to accept the fact that he could go around kissing his friends and have it not change a single thing. Lily gave me a strange look across the table that I ignored.

Sirius raised an arched eyebrow at me. "Nope. Why? Did I say something _cheeky?_ " he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "I do have a pattern of saying ludicrous things when I'm tossed. I once called Remus an inconsequential slag."

Remus gave an exhausted little nod. "He did," he said nodding. "He's a rude drunk."

"Fun," Sirius corrected him, "not rude. Not that I can remember."

So, he didn't remember a thing. A tiny flare of disappointment ripped through me before the logic in my head could stop it.

I supposed I couldn't blame him. I didn't remember very much either. Still, I doubted I would forget snogging someone. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. That was habit for Sirius. I _knew_ that. He had told me as much every time we spent time together. In the state, he was in last night, he had probably not even realized it had been _me_ up there. And Peter had been drunker than us both. If we didn't remember, there was no way he would. He certainly didn't seem to now. He was stuffing his face with kippers.

Maybe it was a good thing he didn't remember. I had almost let myself become one of Sirius' conquests. I should consider myself lucky that it had just been a little kissing and nothing more.

I decided to forget about it, ignoring the strange sense of disappointment I felt at the idea.

There was no harm in it, if he didn't remember. It's not as if anything would have come from it anyway. Sirius and I were becoming too good of friends to let anything like _that_ interrupt it. I was not the kind of girl to become a notch on his bedpost. I would forget it ever happened.

"I think we fought about your smoking," I told him taking another sip of my pumpkin juice. "It's a nasty habit that's going to kill you and you're too thick to realize that."

Sirius groaned. "Ugh, you sound like Moony."

"Smart and rational?" Remus asked with a wide smile. "She could do worse."

Lily was still watching me across the table. Her expression unreadable. Like she knew there was something going on inside of my head that I wasn't sharing. I would have thought she might have been used to that by now. I was starting to get weighed down by all the things I wasn't able to share with anyone. One more secret and I worried I'd have a breakdown and start screaming in the Great Hall.

A familiar hooting and screeching announced the arrival of the morning post, as a fleet of owls swung into the Great Hall and dropped mail and packages in front of their recipients. An ornate wooden box was dropped in front of Marlene, and two rolled up scrolls in front of James. A brown school Owl dropped a copy of the prophet in my lap, and pecked my fingers until I dropped a sickle into its money pouch.

"Anyone need quills and ink?" Marlene asked unwrapping her box from home. "Mum sent enough to supply half of Hogwarts."

She handed each of us a couple of quills from the box, and opened the card her mom had attached.

I carefully unwrapped the prophet and dropped it down on the table the moment I read the headline, all the breath I was holding onto as I read it.

"What is it?" Lily asked quickly, reading my face.

I pushed the copy of the prophet over to her so she could read it. The headline was huge and black; looking just as ominous in type as it sounded;

 _You-Know-Who Releases Official Manifesto; No More Muggleborns_

That was all it took to put everything in perspective. I couldn't believe that only moments ago I had been worrying about whether or not Sirius had remembered anything. It seemed so silly in comparison. No drunken kiss was more important than this. Than what was happening in our world.

Lily's gasp was audible. Her hand frozen on the edge of the page. The picture underneath took up almost the entire page. Seven masked men moving in and out of the frame, clearly trying to avoid the camera. It looked like the photo had been taken from several hundred feet away. It was clear exactly who those people were; Death Eaters. You-Know-Who's followers.

Underneath the photo was a reprinting of the manifesto the Daily Prophet had anonymously received. My mouth hung open as I read it. Every word was viler then the next.

" _Our most powerful and rising Dark Lord urges those of the purest blood to join his forces and help in the eradication of the Wizarding World's most urgent threat; Mudbloods,"_ Lily read from the manifesto, her eyes swimming with angry tears.

"What a tosspot," James swore under his breath, as he read Remus' copy of the prophet over his friend's shoulder.

"I suspect my mum will have this framed," Sirius replied bitterly, shaking his head in disgust.

" _Any worthy wizard or witch who wants to may join the leagues of the Wizarding World's most powerful sorcerer,_ " Lily continued reading, her voice more strained than I had ever heard it. " _The most powerful_ ; Lord Voldemort."

Several people in the vicinity of her, gasped. At least three pairs of eyes turned directly to her, wide as they would go. Mary looked like she was going to faint. Peter had even let out a tiny shriek.

"Lily!" Marlene swore, the goblet in her hand slipping onto the floor with a loud chattering that rang throughout the hall. "You can't say his name!"

It was an unwritten rule. One no one had to speak. Since the moment You-Know-Who had emerged on the scene, no one dared speak his name. His crimes were unspeakable, and so was he.

"Why not?" Lily demanded, a flash of courage dancing across her tiny features. "He gets to run around saying that people like me are better off dead and I'm supposed to be too scared to _say his name?_ No way. If we buy into this fear-mongering and stop saying his name, it only gives him power. He _wins_."

She was right. Completely, unarguable right. You could see it written across her face. Her bravery pinned on her sweater just like her prefect badge.

"Can I just say? You're a complete badass, Evans. _That's_ the attitude that landed you in Gryffindor." James whistled from beside her. "I'm never calling him anything else every again. It's Voldemort, and he's going down."

Several people still gasped when James said the name, but Lily didn't. Her eyes were locked on James and she did something I never expected her too. She _smiled_ at him. Only for a moment and then went back to her pumpkin juice.

"This whole thing is a load of rubbish," I said shaking my head with disgust as I finished reading the manifesto. "Can anyone actually believe this? Some of the most talented witches and wizards I've ever met are Muggleborn."

"Only foolhardy men believe they're better than someone solely on who they're born too," Remus said carefully. "Unfortunately, I think there are enough of them in our world to be swayed into joining him."

"Like my family," Sirius said darkly, meeting my eyes for half a second. "They've probably all run out to go and join up. It'll be a miracle if I can keep Regulus from dropping out and putting on one of those masks."

From the look on his face, I could tell he wasn't joking. I tried to explain just how much I understood when I looked at him. I knew exactly what it was like to have family that believed in this. It had led them to murder. I hoped to Merlin that Regulus never did put on one of those masks, desperate to save Sirius from that pain.

"My house is divided," Marlene sighed wistfully. "My parents and my siblings, they're preparing for whatever this becomes. They're ready to fight. But the older witches and wizards, like my great aunts and uncles, and my Gran? They think it might be easier to side with You-Know-Who."

Marlene made a very distinct point of not using Voldemort's name. It didn't seem to matter to her whether or not using it was an act of bravery. Marlene had been raised to fear the name. A fear she seemed ready to respect.

"They're going to have to pick a side," I told Marlene firmly, feeling emblazoned with an upsurge of courage. "This isn't a petty school disagreement we're talking about, Mar. This is genocide in our world. If you're not actively trying to stop it, you're complicit in what… _Voldemort_ is doing."

It was a struggle to say the name. It barely left my tongue, but I knew I couldn't let Lily be in this alone. It was too important. This was life and death.

"Amen, Meadowes," Sirius said from across the table, giving me a very knowing look.

Sirius and I were united in just how close we felt to this situation. For us, this wasn't just a movement. It was family. It was life and it was death. Sirius understood that, more than Marlene seemed too.

Marlene shrugged. "I think Gran's all talk. Even if she did agree with him there's no way she would disagree with all of us. She'd join our side even if not to be left out. Not that that's much better..." She trailed off and sighed, taking a large bite of her breakfast.

Mary was decidedly silent. Looking like she was actively avoiding our conversation at any cost. Her eyes had turned glassy as she stared off into space at the Staff table.

"What do you think they mean by ' _any worthy wizard_ ' can join?" Peter asked, scanning the article slower than everyone else.

"Three guesses, Wormtail," Sirius said throwing a furtive look over at the Slytherin table. I could see the hate forming in his gray eyes.

Peter followed his eyes. "You mean Slytherins?'

I shook my head, and Peter only looked more confused.

"I think he means those elitist Pureblood families," James added quickly, seeing the confusion on Peter's face. "The ones that usually end up in Slytherin."

Peter made a strange face. "So, you think he's only letting Purebloods join then?"

James shook his head. "I doubt it. There aren't enough of them to make up an army, and it seems like that's where all of this heading for. I'm sure he'll take whatever scum is stupid enough to fall for his lies..."

"So long as there not Muggleborn right?" Lily said, stabbing her breakfast with the end of her wand. James threw her a sympathetic glance, knowing she was right.

"Why so interested, Peter?" Sirius asked. "You can't be that scared, can you? You're a Half-blood. That's not very high up on his list of priorities to kill."

"Sirius," Remus said warningly, looking at the expression on both Mary and Lily's faces.

" _Killing?_ " Peter repeated nervously, his whole face white with fear. 'Who said anything about killing?"

James sighed. "Come on Wormtail. Haven't you been paying attention? How do you think they're going to rid the world of Muggleborns?"

Mary sighed and lifted herself up from the seat, refusing to participate in our conversation any longer. She stormed out of the Great Hall without another word, leaving the rest of us stunned. Landon McKinnon had gotten up from his seat and followed her out of the hall, otherwise Marlene, Lily or I would have.

"Was it something I said?" James asked, watching Landon chase after her.

'Yes," Lily answered quickly. Marlene frowned at her.

"She always like that when we talk about You-Know-Who," I told James honestly. "I think she's just too scared to talk about it."

James blinked, running that over in his head for a minute. "She knows things are only going to get worse, right?"

Lily sighed, wistfully, putting down her fork as she did. "I suppose she does, but I don't think she's ready to face it yet. After all, she and I, were the ones who they want dead. The rest of you, you're just Bloodtratiors to them. They don't want you gone."

She blinked sadly and then got up from the table, presumably following after Mary. The rest of us looked around at each other with shock.

"What did she mean?" Peter asked. "About the rest of us being Bloodtraitors?"

The rest of us didn't need any further explanation. It was clear what she meant. Sirius, James and Marlene were Purebloods, who were purposefully siding against the ideals of You-Know-Who. That was the textbook definition of a blood traitor. Remus, Peter and I were Half-Bloods, stuck in that grey area the Pureblood Purists tried so desperately to forget. In their eyes, we weren't nearly as bad as the muggleborns but not good enough stock. We were safe for the time being. Our blood-status didn't make un instant targets, but if I knew anything from what Aubleus had done to my parents, our choices would.

When the war eventually came, none of us would be safe.

* * *

Seemingly overnight, the entire castle had become obsessed with one singular spell. One day everything was the same, and the next people were being suspended in the air by their ankles. _Levicorpus_ was a simple spell, but with no viable counter jinx, making it a prankster's dream.

No one quite knew who was responsible for repopularizing it in the coming weeks, but whoever had, started quite the trend. Amy Bentworth swore it was the Hufflepuff seventh years, and Damocles Belby would tell anyone who would listen that it was the fourth year Ravenclaws who started it. It didn't seem to matter who had. It seemed as if no one was able to move an inch in the castle without being hit by one. People had taken to casting shield charms before they left any lesson, and would still end up hung upside down outside of the Great Hall.

"You have to admit, it's a _bit_ funny," Marlene observed as the four of us made our way to our afternoon Charms lesson. In the short ten-minute walk from Gryffindor tower to the classrooms we had seen no less than five people hung upside down.

Caradoc Dearborn was the latest victim, hanging upside down above the staircase, flailing his fists in anger as his classmates passed by chuckling. Most of the Castle seemed to believe it was all in good fun, and only the Prefects seemed willing to help those hit by the spell.

Mary giggled, "Unless you have a fear of heights."

"Oh, it's definitely funny," Lily agreed, "but I have to go and help him, you know." She pointed sadly at the Prefect badge pinned to her chest, looking like she'd rather enjoy the fun than stop it this time. It was the only time I'd ever seen Lily looked burdened by her prefect duties.

"But it's Dearborn," Marlene whined, as if this somehow absolved Lily from her duties. It seemed five years of Caradoc's unrequited love for Marlene had done little to sway her opinion of him.

"Still have no love for Dearborn?" Lily giggled, looking sideways at our suspended housemate. Even from this pitiful situation, I could swear I saw him eyeing Marlene like she was the greatest sorceress of our time.

Marlene raised an eyebrow back at Lily., "It's Caradoc, of course not. He's weird that one. Always a little off, you know?"

"You don't mean dark, do you?" Mary asked, looking a touch worried.

Marlene shook her head. "Godric, no. He's about as far from becoming a dark wizard as Frank Longbottom is. He's just…. odd."

To Marlene, whose beauty, popularity and blood status came naturally to her, being odd was something she couldn't ever imagine. Marlene fit effortlessly into our world. It was a feeling I had never quite been able to master outside of our house. It seemed wherever I was outside of Hogwarts; the orphanage, even my own family, I was an outsider. Odd.

"I wouldn't be so hard on him if I were you," I told her, feeling for Caradoc. "Imagine being the fifth wheel in the Marauder's dorm. I think anyone would be a little odd if they had to live with _them._ "

"She makes a fair point you know," Lily told Marlene happily, skipping off to relieve Caradoc from his jinx.

The rest of us headed towards the Charms classroom. Half the class was being entertained by watching Gwenog Jones and Hexar Smith levitate a quaffle around the room, and take turns catching it. Professor Flitwick's head was buried in a large, heavy book reading something too intently to notice that half his class was reenacting a Quidditch match. It took another ten minutes before Lily scampered back into the classroom with Caradoc Dearborn, the latter still looking slightly miserable. He was walking funny and kicking his feet dramatically as he found his seat.

Lily plopped down in her seat next to me and leaned towards Marlene. "You'll be happy to know that it took me five extra minutes to get him down because a couple of third years kept using the toe biting jinx on him."

"It does make me happy, thank you very much," Marlene said happily from her seat in front of us. Mary shook her head disapprovingly at the blonde.

In class, we were studying the bobble-head charm. Something Mary, Lily, Marlene and I had mastered in fourth year when we wanted to search for Merpeople in the black lake. A feat that had left us soaking wet and disappointed, but accomplished the lesson, so we spent most of the lesson chatting in the back while the Hufflepuffs struggles to keep themselves breathing.

"Why does Amos Diggory keep throwing daggers at you Lils?" Marlene asked leaning back into her seat. "Finally ditch his bragging arse?"

Lily blushed slightly and stared down at her textbook. "Sort of. Though it had nothing to do with the bragging."

"Are you alright?" I asked her, reaching out to squeeze her arm comfortingly.

Lily nodded eagerly. "Oh, yeah. Don't worry. It wasn't upsetting. I'm actually quite irritated with him."

"Intrigue," Marlene whispered carefully, wagging her eyebrows.

Lily looked up from her the bottom of her thick eyelashes, looking around the room to make sure no one was eavesdropping, and then she dropped her voice to a whisper.

"Well it was that article in the prophet," Lily said carefully. "I was talking about it with him, and Amos went on and on about how while he felt for Muggleborns, but he had to admit that the You-Know-Who had a point. The wizarding world would probably be better off if everyone in it had grown up in it."

I gasped before I could stop myself, my hand flying to my mouth. How could Amos say something so disgusting? And to Lily. I wanted to jinx him myself.

"That's absolutely disgusting," Mary said shaking her head.

Lily nodded eagerly, the disgust plainly written on her face. "That's what I thought. So, I told him exactly where he could shove that idea, and reminded him that our current Head Girl is a _Muggleborn,_ before I stormed off."

A wide smile stretched across my face as I pictured that, and how Amos had probably been silenced by the sheer force of Lily's words.

"Good for you, Lily" I told her firmly. "I'm proud."

Lily flashed a smile, her entire face lighting up. "Thank you. I couldn't ever be with someone who believed I wasn't as good as they were."

"Better than they are, probably," I reminded her and Lily waved me off, a smile still lingering on her cheeks as she did.

Lily was probably one of the brightest and talented people in our year. She was constantly fighting it out with Barty Crouch Jr. for top marks. Anyone who believed she wasn't as capable as someone who had grown up in the Wizarding World, was someone who didn't have their eyes open. I saw Lily do things with a wand and a cauldron that grown witches and wizards would be envious of.

We spent the rest of the lesson chatting about the possibility of Mary getting an Owl for her sixteenth birthday while everyone else finished mastering the lesson, until Flitwick dismissed us.

"Ms. Meadowes," Flitwick called, "a moment?"

I waved off my friends and headed over to Professor Flitwick's desk. He was smiling at me, so I knew not to expect anything bad. Maybe another tutoring job.

"Hello, Professor."

Professor Flitwick beamed at me. "Ah, Ms. Meadowes. Excellent job today on the bobble-head charm. I wasn't surprised to see you already mastered it. I have every confidence you'll get an O on your Charms O.W.L."

"Thank you, Professor," I told him happily, feeling a warm happy glow at the idea of passing the exams.

"Naturally," Professor Flitwick said proudly, "and speaking of the O.W.L.s. I've been very impressed with the work you've done with Mr. Black. His marks have improved marginally. So much so, that I think the two of you should focus your tutoring sessions on preparing for the O.W.L. I'm sure with your influence, he will do very well on the exam."

"Thank you, Professor. I'll be sure to work on that with him," I said, nodding carefully. I already had to start studying for my own exam, and helping Sirius prepare would only reinforce the ideas in my brain.

I left the Charms classroom quickly, almost jogging back to the Common Room to avoid a couple of wand-ready second years who looked like they were dying to use _Levicorpus_ on the next person who passed.

When I got back to the Common Room, it was a changed place. Every table, and surface in the room was covered with different colored leaflets and pamphlets, each one a more vibrant color than the last.

Career Choice pamphlets. I had forgotten that was happening soon.

The younger students were pretty much ignoring them, but the fifth years were circling around the flyers, picking up the ones of interest and ignoring others.

A large notice was pinned on the board beside them, displaying the dates and times everyone was to meet with Professor McGonagall to discuss their career options. Mine was Friday at six.

I found my friends walking the length of the room, a collection of leaflets in their hands.

"Can you believe it's this time already?" Lily asked me, slightly frazzled. She had three flyers in each hand, a myriad of choices.

"No, I can't," I said shaking my head. "It's weird, isn't it?"

Mary had one or two flyers and Marlene stood a little ways away, eyeing the nearest pamphlet like it might leap and bite her if given the chance.

I scanned the pamphlets carefully. There seemed to be one for everything from Dragon Catcher to Gringotts Banker to Apparition Test Provider. Across the room. The Marauders were going through the pamphlets slowly. Remus had a handful of

"What do you think?" Lily asked, holding up a soft blue flyer. "Do I have what it takes to be Ministra of Magic?"

"I think you'd make a great Ministra of Magic," I told her, picking up a pamphlet that read _'Could You Fit in at St. Mungos?_ ' and placing it down after reading the first question _'Do you mind witnessing horrific burns or spell damage?'._

We rounded the corner and I finally spotted the pamphlet I was looking for. It was fluorescent green and boldly read; **_"Do You Have What It Takes To Be An Auror?"_**

I picked the pamphlet up gingerly and clutched it to my chest. It felt strangely real now to see it written out in front of me. The dream I'd had for years now.

I took another flyer for a job on the Magical Law Enforcement Division, just for safety and followed my friends to one of the velvet couches to read over our pamphlets.

"Peter Pettigrew looks like he's on the verge of tears," Mary commented looking at Peter with an armful of pamphlets. The one on the ends reading ' _Are you a good fit for a Quidditch coach?"_ and _"Could you train dragons?"_

"He always looks like that," Marlene said, tossing her legs onto the coffee table. "I'd be more surprised if he looked calm and collected."

"Everyone gets a bit stressed out during Career selection," Lily said quietly. "It's hard to choose what you want to do with the rest of your life at sixteen."

"You and Doe have no problem doing it," Marlene reminded her, gesturing to the pamphlets we clutched desperately.

Lily shrugged, realizing she might be right and buried herself into her pamphlet on Ministry jobs, while I carefully opened the one I had been clutching, losing myself in a future where I might be able to help put away the Dark Wizards that hid in the shadows of our worlds.

* * *

"Come on. I _know_ you know this," I pressed Sirius on Friday as we went over the cheering charm. Per Flitwick's request, Sirius and I spent the last two of our tutoring sessions preparing for the Charms exam. Sirius was a bit surly about it, trying at every opportunity to get me to ditch the plan and do anything else.

"Do we _have_ to do this?" Sirius complained, resting his head on his hands. 'The exams are _ages_ away."

"They're only a few months away, actually."

"Do you hear yourself, Meadowes? That _is_ ages."

I leaned back in my chair giving him a warning look. "Do you want to fail your O.W.L.'s?" I asked him, honestly. "Because people who don't study, _fail_."

Sirius rolled his eyes kicking his feet up on the chair in front of him. "I'm brilliant. I would never fail an exam. I need two weeks tops to study this, which means we don't have to worry about it for months."

"Your self-confidence astounds me," I told him bluntly, watching him from the back of my chair.

Sirius flashed me a cocky smile as I reached for my Charms textbook, my auror pamphlet marking the page I had left off on last night.

"What's that?" Sirius asked, nodding at the brightly colored pamphlet. "Why am I not surprised that Doe Meadowes already knows what she wants to do with her life?"

He reached for the pamphlet and I swiped the book out of his grasp, giving him a careful glance.

"Pass your exams and you're bright enough to do whatever you want," I reminded him. "You could know too."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I already know what I want to be. I don't need a pamphlet to tell me. So, come on. What is it then for you? Ministra of Magic. Head of the Magical Games and Sports division?"

Sirius reached for the pamphlet again, and this time was too fast for me to stop him. He ripped the pamphlet from my book with a quick hand, while I reached to stop him a second too late. He chuckled as he kept it out of my reach, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Stupid, Quidditch reflexes," I swore quietly as he grinned at me and opened the pamphlet with smirking eyes.

" _Do you have what it takes to be an auror?_ " Sirius read quickly, his face lit up with excitement, eyebrows raised. "You want to be an _Auror_ , Meadowes?"

I couldn't tell whether the look on his face was simply shock or whether he actually found the idea so entertaining it was funny. I hoped desperately it was the former. I didn't think having a friend laugh at my future plans would do much to motivate me.

I was careful as I met his eyes. "Yes," I said evenly.

Sirius' face was unchanged for a moment, and then a wide smile burst from it, and he let out a chuckle of laughter that had Madam Pince glared at us from her desk.

"That's bloody brilliant," Sirius whispered cheerfully, his eyes locked on mine. "That's what _I_ want to do."

"You want to be an Auror?" I asked in astonishment.

Sirius nodded happily. "Yeah. Thought it would be worthwhile to put my blood traitor status to good use. Might be kind of fun to throw an aunt and or two in Azkaban."

"Or an uncle," I said, letting Aubleus' face flash through my mind.

Sirius' face got serious for a moment. "That's the best revenge there is," he said, dropping his voice to a whisper, as not to be overheard, "through him in Azkaban yourself."

He blinked for a second, resting his head on his hand. "I never thought you of all people would want to spend your life hunting down dark wizards and throwing them in Azkaban. Healer maybe, but never an Auror."

"Does that mean you don't think I can hack it?" I asked, an eyebrow raised.

Sirius shook his head. "Don't be thick. _You?_ Course you can. I've seen you take on centaurs. Much as you hate to admit it you're just as tough and reckless as I am."

I couldn't help the smile that stretched across my lips, as Sirius waggled his eyebrows approvingly. He was one of the few people who had heard what I wanted to be and not thought it strange or mismatched. He seemed to genuinely believe he and I were both just as capable of becoming aurors. An idea I liked. Sirius would make a good one too.

"Well," I said flipping open the book the Charms book dramatically. "Aurors need Charms."

Sirius groaned and dropped his head on the table, while I readied the study notes for the Chapter.

* * *

My talk with Sirius about Careers' had made me dread my Career Meeting a little less. When we finished our tutoring session. I left Sirius in the library and headed for Professor McGonagall's office, still feeling slightly nervous. Marlene was scampering out of the office when they got there her face turned down in either stress, or annoyance I couldn't quite tell.

"Hey Marls," I told her as she headed for me, "How was it?"

"Oh, hey Doe. Thank god," Marlene sighed, chewing on her nails. "It was nerve-wracking. Did you know you need eight O.W.L.s just to write for Witch Weekly? I mean they print ads for Hair Tonic…" She took a deep breath. "and McGonagall lectured me about my Transfiguration grade, so be warned. Not that you have anything to worry about. You're like Lily, and Lupin. Perfect grades. Meanwhile, I'm going to fail out of fifth year."

Marlene had started pacing, back and forth, chewing on her nails as she did. She looked like she was going to pass out from the stress of it.

"Marley, stop worrying," I told her, stopping her by the shoulders so she couldn't pace anymore, "I'll help you study, and so will Lily and Remus, if you ask nicely enough. No one is going to let you fail your exams, okay? We can start as soon as we get back to the Common Room. You're going to be fine."

Marlene took a deep breath and gave a quick nod. "Thanks, Doe," she said gratefully and then darted her eyes towards McGonagall's office. "You'd better get in there, before you're late and that gives her another reason to testy."

"You'll be okay?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow.

I knew Marlene had gone in that room with no idea of what she wanted to do and hoped Professor McGonagall had been understanding of that.

Marlene rolled her eyes, "I'll be fine. Get in there and show off."

I gave Marlene a quick comforting hug and then headed for the office, knocking lightly on the wooden door.

"Come in," Professor McGonagall called quietly from her office.

I could feel my stomach knot from the inside when I opened the door carefully. I had no idea what the meeting was going to be like. People had filtered in and out of her office for the last two days. Some of them had giant smiles plastered across their faces and others returned to the Common Room looking more uncertain than they had before going in.

What if McGonagall didn't think I had what it takes to become an auror? What if she encouraged me to do something else? I took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

Professor McGonagall looked up from behind her glasses and gave me an even, firm face. "Ah, yes. Ms. Meadowes, please take a seat."

She flicked her wand lazily as I sat down in one of the armchairs in front of her seat. I had to sit down on my hands to keep them from visibly shaking.

"How are you, Ms. Meadowes?" Professor McGonagall asked, placing a cup of tea in front of me. It didn't do much to dissuade my nerves.

"I'm well, Professor. And you?" I asked.

McGonagall nodded curtly, "I am quite well. Thank you for asking."

She pulled out a folder marked _Meadowes, Dorcas_ and flipped through it slowly. I knew my entire life was displayed in that piece of parchment, and wondered how it looked from the outside. Was it messy and disjointed, full of grief and sadness? Or clean and unmarked, a hollow image of the person in front of her.

"Let's begin, shall we?" Professor McGonagall asked evenly. "Have you thought about your career at all?

I took a deep breath. "Yes, Professor. I 'd like to become an Auror."

I watched her face carefully looking for any sign of doubt and seeing nothing across her stern features. I knew a lot of people said they wanted to become Aurors, probably because it seemed like a glamourous job from the outside. That wasn't why I wanted it. I wanted it to stop people from being hurt. To stop dark wizards from gaining the power.

Professor McGonagall simply looked at me from behind her eyewear, and eyebrow raised. "You understand that the auror program is a very difficult and competitive program?" she asked, not lowering her eyebrow, "with certain physical and mental requirements that some people simply find too grueling?"

There it was, the doubt.

"I am aware of that," I told her firmly, trying to remain confident even though my insides wanted to burst into tears. "And I know it will be difficult, but it's something I think I have to do. For my parents."

Professor McGonagall's face softened a little and she looked at me sympathetically. "Well then, If you're sure. It's my duty to warn you that they don't take on many students. Maybe four every ten years. And if you are accepted, there is a week training period followed by character and aptitude tests at the ministry, and a mandatory further three years of studies."

She pawed through a stack of parchment in front of her. "In order to be accepted you need at least an E in Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Charms and Transfiguration. But it seems you're on track for that. You do well in Transfiguration and Defense. Professor Slughorn says good things. Professor Flitwick seems to be very impressed with Charms work and your tutoring. I needn't worry about your marks" She flipped through my file again. "It will still be difficult, Ms. Meadowes."

I felt my stomach flip, my eyes stuck on the wooden desk. "Because I'm not Pureblood," I said softly.

It was an unwritten rule that all of the best Ministry jobs were always filled by Purebloods. Nepotism, Connections and Bigotry within the ministry kept the Purebloods at the top, especially for the flashier jobs like Aurors. As much as I wanted to believe that Mad-Eye Moody was above things like that, I knew it might not only be his decision.

Professor McGonagall stared at me carefully her face uneven and unmoving, and then her face sharpened immediately. " _That_ , will not be a problem for you," she said carefully.

"Blood-Status," she said, stating the word like it physically pained her. "Will _not_ make any decision about your future for you. You will work hard and you will be accepted. Understand?"

She waited for me to answer. A firm eyebrow raised at me.

"Do you understand me, Ms. Meadowes?" Professor McGonagall repeated firmly.

"You will not let any more of your life be fragmented over someone's opinion your parentage. Yes?"

I had always thought Professor McGonagall was firm, but fair. An honest, caring person who seemed to be more attached to her students than she lead on. But now, I was sure. Professor McGonagall was a role model. I wanted to make her proud.

"Yes, Professor," I told her, nodding eagerly. "I understand."

"Good," Professor McGonagall said, making a note in my file. "Thank you, Ms. Meadowes. You may go."

I gave Professor McGonagall a quick smile and left the room without another word.

I was going to be an Auror. I would do whatever I had too. Whatever it took to get myself into those black and silver robes. To make a difference. I would do it for Professor McGonagall. For my parents. And for my friends.

So that in the future, we'd be able to live in a world where Blood-status meant absolutely _nothing_.


	16. Marauders Second Christmas

16

Marauder Second Christmas

I woke up on the morning of April 1st, 1976 to a flurry of excitement and nerves in the girls fifth year dormitory. Alice and Rylie, and Lily seemed to be pacing back and forth, trying their best to whisper but failing as Marlene and Mary were stirring besides me as well.

I sat up in bed and noticed the three of them were already dressed and ready to leave, despite breakfast not starting for another half hour. Lily and Alice were usually punctual, but this was taking it to a whole new level. I sat up in bed and rubbed at my eyes, slightly confused as the bounded around the room quietly, gathering their books and bags.

It was still dark outside of our windows. The sun was only just starting to rise, and the color barely stretched above the grounds.

"Are you three alright?" I called sleepily to my dorm mates, stifling a yawn as I did. Mary's cat was curled up at the end of my bed, and watching her owner with as much confusion as I was. It seemed neither of us relished in the idea of being up before the sun.

"Honestly," Marlene whimpered from her bed, stretching her long tan limbs off the other end. Mary seemed to still be sleeping through it. "You lot are making quite a bit of noise."

The three of them stopped running around the room long enough to give Marlene a quixotic look. Alice actually giggled. It was clear we were missing something.

"Have you forgotten what day it is, Marls?" Lily asked her, perching on the end of her bed. "It's April the 1st."

"Oh no," I whined softly. "That's today?" Lily gave me a grave nod.

Now it all made sense to me. I groaned as recognition flooded over me and I rolled out bed to join her. We were already running late. We had to be the first ones in and out for breakfast to avoid what was coming.

"I mean this with all the love and muffins in the world, Marlene," Alice started, her tiny face struggling to hide the shadow of laughter etched upon it, "but how in Godric Gryffindor's name could you have forgotten about the Marauder's Second Christmas?"

"Oh, god. I can't believe it's here already," Marlene swore, covering her face with one of her pillows. She let out a loud groan and rolled out of bed too, walking across the room to wake up Mary. Every single person in this room, hell in the Castle, knew the significance of today, and the importance of being prepared for it.

Today was the Marauder's favorite day of the year; April Fools. The day where they unleashed a hellish reign of pranks and tricks on any suspecting person they passed. It was serious to them. It was like a religion. They never skipped it, and each year the pranks became more ludicrous than the last.

After five years of it, everyone at Hogwarts knew enough to prepare wisely. Keep your wand out all day, and avoid the Marauders to the best of your ability.

I frowned, remembering I had to tutor Sirius this afternoon and hoping I could convince him to cancel it. Even with a library full of witnesses, I didn't trust Sirius as far as I could throw him. Not on Marauder's Second Christmas.

Rylie, Alice and Lily waited for us while we got dressed, and I thought about last year when unsuspecting Carmichael McKinnon had fallen victim to the day and walked around with a giant firework dragon insulting him in old English. I could only hope they'd go easier today.

"How much wreckage do you think they'll cause this year?" Mary asked Lily as Marlene and I stumbled quickly into our sweaters. I raked a brush through my hair twice and decided to leave it be.

"Hopefully, not much," Lily said. "I'll be doing my best to avoid them all day."

"Why do we put up with this every year?" I asked, changing into my uniform skirt. "I'm just saying, everyone's lives would be a hell of a lot easier if we cast a full body bind on the four of them and locked them in a broom closet for the day."

I had to admit, the idea did sound appeasing. Then today could be a totally normal day, without worry that someone who turn your wand into a tea cozy.

Mary raised an eyebrow at me. "You say that like it would be easy wrestling a Marauder into a broom closet."

From across the room, Marlene grinned. "Doe's already done that, hasn't she? Bet she could convince Sirius into another one," she said laughing.

"Very funny," I said, as I threw my copy of Unfogging the Future at her, and watched as she ducked to avoid it.

Marlene giggled as she put on her shoes, joined by my other friends. To them it was funny, because I had already assured them that nothing had happened between Sirius and I in the broom closet. And it hadn't. It had happened somewhere _else._ But they didn't know that and I had no immediate plans to change that.

We took the stairs three at a time, making absolutely sure that the Marauders weren't sitting in wait in the Common Room before we darted across it towards the portrait hole. Otto Bagman Fabian Prewett seemed to be thinking along the same lines as we were, and followed out right behind us, with Frank Longbottom trailing at their heels.

"Avoiding our housemates?" Frank asked Alice as he caught up with us and walked in tandem towards the Great Hall.

Alice shivered slightly, and gave him a tiny nod. "And I would too, if I were you."

Frank chuckled and shook his head. "I'm not worried. I _like_ the Marauders."

"Liking them has nothing to do with it, you know," Marlene shouted back at Frank, "James Potter is _obsessed_ with Lily, and she always gets hits the hardest."

Lily groaned from beside me, and pat her comfortingly on the head. "We'll avoid them all day, okay?"

Lily looked up at me with her wide green eyes. "You promise?"

I nodded eagerly and hooked her pinky finger with mine. "Gryffindor's honor. We'll sit front row center in every class. I'd like to see them try anything with McGonagall or Marchbanks watching."

The Marauder's second Christmas was so well known and feared that every Professor took extra precautions and prepared accordingly. McGonagall made it her mission to stop them from getting away with _anything_ , not that that ever really stopped them. The real danger was in the corridors or Common Rooms.

"And in Herbology?" Mary asked, raising an eyebrow at us as we rounded the corner. 'You know Sprout is always all over the place."

That was true. The greenhouses were too long and too crowded for Professor Sprout to be on top of them today. We'd have to find some other way to keep ourselves prank-free.

"Shield Charms?" I suggested weakly, offering them a strained smile. Even I knew they wouldn't be strong enough to protect us for an entire period. We'd have to be vigilant.

Mary and Lily both sighed as we headed towards the Great Hall, and took our usual seats. Half the school was already there, seemingly doing what we were, and trying to avoid the Marauders, who it seemed were either still asleep or off planning something for the day. I hoped it was the former.

The room seemed to be divided today. Half the students looked miserable and worried at the prospect of the day, and the other half seemed to find it exciting. I guess to some people, the Marauder's antics might be considered funny, but after living with Lily for so long I tended to agree with the nervous ones.

"Surely, you're not that nervous about the day, are you?" Gideon asked Caradoc as he sat down next to him at the house table. I had been watching Gideon out of the corner of my eye and did my best not to stare at them. Even though I was eavesdropping.

Caradoc stared back at Gideon like he had three heads. "Of course, I'm nervous," Caradoc stuttered, "I _live_ with them. I know what they can do. You should all be nervous."

Marlene laughed into her pumpkin juice but was able to pass it off as a cough, throwing me a quick wink as she did. Caradoc had never spoken truer words.

"Think Snivelly is nervous today?" Marlene whispered to me, too low for anyone else to hear. Marlene's beautiful face was filled with a strange kind of malice excitement as she said it. The face was the same one she always made when talking about Severus.

I knew what she meant of course. Severus always got it the worst today. While everyone else was simply fair game to the Marauders, Severus was sought out all day. His pranks were preplanned and severe, usually leaning more towards torture or harassment than lighthearted fun. It wasn't as though he didn't deserve it though, I'd seen him attack them unprovoked hundreds of times. I didn't quite know how to feel about it. I knew it infuriated Lily, but there was something a bit too dark about Severus that stopped me from feeling too badly.

Lily was too absorbed in her conversation with Frank and Alice to overhear what we were saying.

"I would be," I said quietly, an unintended edge to my voice, "if I were him. Then again his new _Slytherin_ friends will probably keep him safe enough."

I thought of him hanging around the likes of Mulciber and Wilkes and any pity I felt for him slowly disappeared. My eyes flew to the Slytherin table and found him instantly. He was sitting right between them, paler than usual and his eyes kept darting towards the entrance to the Great Hall in quick paranoid movements. Searching for the Marauders no doubt. It was unclear which of his emotions was clearer; anger of fear.

We finished out breakfast quickly, desperate to make our way out of the Great Hall before the Marauders appeared. They hadn't shown up to breakfast at all that morning and somehow that was more concerning, than not. The four of us walked in a tight group in the corridor, following close behind the other students, keeping our eyes open and watchful. You could never be too careful on April 1st.

"How did you make out on those finger shriveling jinxes we learned last week?" Lily asked on our way to Defense Against the Dark Arts. "All I could do was make mine wrinkly, and you're good at defense." She looked a little defeated about it as she stared down at her own hand. Each of us were clutching our wands, ready to defend ourselves at a moment's notice.

As we walked by, we noticed Damocles Belby pass by with giant boils spurting from his face. They were green and oozing a thick purple substance that seemed to be steaming. The Marauders had been to him already. They were close.

"I managed to shrink them a bit, but not much else," I told Lily. "I think Remus managed to get it, we could ask him to help, but maybe... _tomorrow_ " I suggested, remembering that despite sometimes seeming like he was coerced into it, Remus was still a Marauder and to be avoided today.

Lily smiled, her face flushing with mischief. "You don't think Remus would try and prank us do you?" she asked carefully. "I mean it's _Remus_. He's a prefect, and our friend."

From her expression, I knew she might have something planned. It made me curious.

"I don't know, Lils. He's pretty loyal to the other Marauders," I told her hesitantly.

Lily shook her head, looking confident. "I bet you and I could turn him. Get him on _our_ side, and find out what the others are planning," she said excitedly. "Think about it, Doe. How fun it would be to stop whatever big thing James and Sirius have planned?"

She was beaming with excitement at the idea, so much so it looked strange to see her like that. I could scarcely imagine how much pleasure it would bring her to put a stop to James and Sirius' pranks.

"It would be fun, Lils, but you have to remember if you mess with the Marauders and they'll get you back, probably worse. Willing to risk that?" I asked her, wiggling my eyebrows.

Lily frowned at her wand. "I guess not. Still would be fun, though. You've got to admit."

I threw my head back in laughter and followed behind her as she sighed about it. As we walked further down the corridor, our noses pickled slightly. A foul smell was filling the corridor, getting stronger the further we got.

It was so terrible, I had to pull the sleeves of my robes over my nose to try and block it out, and Lily did the same. Caradoc Dearborn erupted from the end of the corridor, surrounded by green smoke and coughing.

"Can't take that way to Marchbanks' classroom," he said through coughs, violently shaking his head "someone set off dungbombs everywhere."

"Right, _someone_ ," Lily snorted through the sleeve of her robe. It seemed the Marauders antics for the day had already begun. The five of us headed for a different staircase, knowing we'd be late.

"Is that a hand?" Marlene said quickly, stopping ahead of us, looking at something we couldn't see. I peeked around her shoulder and saw a quick flash of something white, a whisper of a voice and then the entire corridor erupted into light as spells went off.

It had been barely been a second. The corridor had been empty salve for us, and then it was nothing more than an explosion of several spells all at once.

The five of us ducked hitting the floor, but I knew it was too late. I felt the jinx hit me, blasting right through my shoddy shield charm, making my skin vibrate. I swore silently, and looked down, scanning my body quickly for any sign of a jinx and found nothing. Maybe I had been wrong.

"Bloody Hell!" Mary swore from the ground, clutching at her hand. I turned to see the rest of my friends in similar positions. Marlene was buried half behind Caradoc Dearborn who had seemed to have jumped in front of her to protect her from whatever had attacked, and Lily had her hand pressed firmly to her mouth.

"Was that the Marauders?" Marlene demanded from behind Caradoc. "I didn't even _see_ them!"

Caradoc opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't. Instead, he vomited a pound of feathers on the floor in front of her. He had clearly been jinxed. Luckily for her, Marlene seemed to have only caught the tail end of it, because she hiccupped a single feather.

"Of course, it was them" Mary demanded furiously getting to her feet, "look at my hand!"

Marlene's eyes bugged out of her head and her hand flew to her mouth, clearly trying to hide her laughter. "Oh my god Mary," She managed to get out threw chuckles. "You have a hoof!"

My eyes flew to Mary's hand, or where Mary's right hand _used to be_. Now, there was a large brown furry hoof sprouting from her right wrist and she was staring at it in horror.

"Merlin's beard," I whispered, watching as she held it up to the light. She looked like a part centaur, and she was on the brink of tears.

I immediately looked down at my hands to make sure they _were_ hands, and found they looked normal. Did I miss the jinx altogether? I turned to Lily to find her sitting cross legged on the floor, silent. Her hands were fine too.

"Doe!" Marlene said, almost choking on another feather that she plucked out of her mouth, "Look at your hair!"

My hands flew to the top of my head to make sure I still had hair on my head. I wouldn't have put it past them to have magicked it all off. That would be exactly the kind of thing the Marauders would have found funny.

All of my hair was still there, hanging from down my back. I moved towards the dirty mirror hanging on the wall and gasped as I looked back at my reflection.

My hair was blue. Bright, electric blue. The color had started changing at the roots and slowly slid down until my entire head was the electric, violent blue.

"Holy Hippogriff," I exclaimed, running my hands threw it. It. Was. Blue. "My hair is blue!"

Mary stared at me like she wanted to rip all of the hair off of my head herself.

" _Your hair, Doe?"_ she demanded furiously, holding up her right arm. "I. Have. A. _Hoof_."

Marlene spit out another feather behind her, and Caradoc had disappeared, hurling pounds of feathers as he went.

In comparison, my hair didn't seem nearly as bad now. It was a Marauder prank, and clearly a simple one considering Mary's anatomy had been altered, and Marlene was busy coughing up an Owl. I supposed I had gotten off easy. I turned to Lily, and found she was still curled up sitting on the floor, silent and nervous.

"Lils?" I demanded, trying to ignore the hanging locks of blue hair that were hanging around me, "Are you alright?"

Lily turned up to me, looking fine, and said. "Life is always _tough_ , when you act like a _Hufflepuff."_

I stared at her, utterly bewildered. Assuming I had misheard her. "What did you say?"

Marlene was pulling another feather out of her mouth slowly, but still cast a strange look at our redheaded friend, and Mary stared at her, still clutching her hoof.

Lily opened her mouth again, and this time said, "They hit us with a _jinx_ , those slippery little _minx_."

A strangled noise came out of her throat as she scowled. She looked miserable, her mouth hung open like she wanted nothing more to close it. That's when I realized.

I covered my mouth, trying not to laugh. "Oh, Lily. You got hit with the rhyming jinx."

Marlene burst into loud laughter, a feather popping out as she did, and Mary gave a defeated little giggle.

Lily opened her mouth to speak again, struggling as she looked at me and then said. "Never trust a _blonde_ with a _wand_."

The moment the words had left her mouth, she buried her face in her hands, and let out a soft little upset moan.

"Well now, that's just _rude_ ," I told her, chuckling as she narrowed her eyes at me, turning them to emerald colored slits.

Lily looked like she desperately wanted to say something else, but decided against it, keeping her hand pressed against her mouth. Somehow, I think Lily got the worst of it, and I wasn't surprised. You couldn't insult and avoid James Potter every day of the year and expect him to leave you alone, today of all days.

"Did you even see the Marauders?" I asked Marlene and Mary. "How did they get us from so far away?"

I scanned the corridor in the fear that they were lingering somewhere near, ready to strike again.

"Maybe they did a charm or something," Mary said, holding her hoof to her chest, her eyes angry. It looked strange on Mary. She was normally so docile.

Marlene eyed her strangely, an eyebrow raised. "Do _you_ know of a charm that makes someone invisible or disappear? There isn't a charm for that, Mare."

"Then how did they do it?" I asked, looking around the corridor for any sign of it. I could think of nothing. I knew they were animagi, but that didn't mean they could be unseen. Even as a rat, I would have _seen_ Peter.

"Come on," Mary whimpered, casting another pathetic look at her used-to-be-hand. "Let's go to the Hospital Wing. I don't think Marchbanks will mind. It's not as if we can go through lesson like _this._ "

She was having difficulty holding her wand and hoof in her left hand. Marlene nodded, kicking away the tiny pile of feathers at her feet, with a dejected look. Lily gave a little nod, her mouth firmly closed.

"Alright, let's go, then." I said twirling a piece of my blue hair in my hands.

First lesson had already started and the corridors were empty. Marlene and Mary led us towards the Hospital Wing, leaving a trail of feathers as they did.

Lily walked beside me, silent and stewing. I knew that for Lily of all people, not being able to talk was a punishment worse than anything else. She seemed to be suffering in silence rather than speaking in riddle. I suppose she must have thought it would give James more satisfaction if she gave into it.

"I'm sure Madam Pompfrey will be able to fix it, straight away," I told Lily. "It can't be that complicated. They're only fifth year after all"

"I wouldn't bank on that," Marlene said, nodding towards the corridor in front of us. There was a long line of students filing out of the Hospital Wing, each of them impaired with some sort of malady or prank ranging in severity.

The line seemed to go all the way from inside the Hospital Wing to halfway down the corridor. The people at the very end of the line were a group of nervous looking second year Hufflepuffs, who watched us in horror, their faces drifting from the feather that spit out of Marlene's mouth to Mary's hand.

Mary scowled, and headed past the line, pushing her way into the Hospital Wing to see what was taking so long, leaving the rest of us waiting in the line full of anxious students.

"This can't all be from the Marauders, can it?" Marlene demanded furiously. "I mean it's only ten."

Lily gave a tiny, morose sigh, being very careful not to open her mouth.

"They're motivated this year, apparently," I groaned, watching as one of the tiny second years pointed at my head and whispered something to her friend, the both of them giggling to one another.

The more brazen of the three, a curly haired girl with freckles looked at me and said, "We like your hair."

I sighed, knowing just how absolutely ridiculous it looked but knowing full better not to complain when the boy four people ahead of us was being repeatedly pecked in the cheek by a colorful bird that refused to move from his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah. She looks like a damn _unicorn_ ," Marlene hissed irritably at them. "Merlin, I hate first years." She yanked another feather out between her teeth, and gave them a scowl that was enough to make them turn around and not look back.

Lily sighed, "Children are always the first to _grow_ , last to _know_ ," she said quietly, and then covered her mouth again quickly.

A small smirk crossed Marlene's face. Apparently, Lily's inability to refrain from rhyming was enough to soften her at least a little bit.

"If nothing else comes good comes from this day, it will be a little funny to remember Lily like this," she chuckled. Lily threw her a murderous glance, and crossed her arms.

"She sounds like Dr. Seuss," I agreed.

Marlene blinked back at me, "What is a Dr. Seuss?" she asked, staring at me like I had made it up.

I had forgotten that that was a muggle reference. My father had read me the books when I was little. Every muggle kid read them. Mary and Lily would know them. Lily's eyes flooded with recognition, but she didn't dare open her mouth again, and Mary was still gone.

"He writes muggle kids' books," I told Marlene, "they're very popular, and they usually rhyme."

"Like Babbity Rabbity?" Marlene asked again, blinking slowly, as the gears in her head clicked with her combined muggle and magical knowledge.

They were nothing like Babbitty Rabbity or any other kind of story found in Tales of the Beetle Bard, but that would take a lot of explaining and Marlene didn't seem to care very much about it, so I simply shook my head and watched as she blinked slowly in confusion.

"Should we go and check on Mary?" I asked her, seeing the line remained unmoved and she still hadn't remerged.

"Might as well," Marlene sighed, and the three of us pushed past the others into the Hospital Wing.

"There's a line, McKinnon!" Tracey Travers snapped as we passed her, and her eyebrows which had been clearly singed off.

Marlene and I exchanged a look as we kept walking, not doing well at hiding our looks of pleasure at seeing a Slytherin in such discomfort.

"Eat a wand, Tracey," Marlene snapped back, laughing as we made our way to the Hospital Wing.

Inside of the room, every bed was filled with a student complaining or trying to deal with the symptoms of whatever they were facing.

Madam Pompfrey was flitting around the room, wand in one hand, and a pail of potions in the other as Mary followed behind her, arguing in a soft respectful voice.

"I've already told you, Ms. Macdonald, I understand you are concerned about your hand but I have thirty students ahead of you!" Madam Pompfrey said handing a boy whose mouth had became a beak, a dirty black colored potion.

"But Madam Pompfrey, I can't even hold a wand with this," Mary pleaded, holding up her hoof, "I look like a centaur! They're going to send me out to the Forbidden Forest." She used her best wide, eyed pathetic look and Madam Pompfrey seemed to be completely unaffected.

"You've got to give her points for creativity," I told the others, watching as Mary turned her mouth down into a pout.

"One galleon it doesn't work," Marlene whispered back to me.

"You're on," I told her. Lily looked at us reproachfully, clearly disappointed but unwilling to risk her chastising turning into a rhyme.

Madam Pompfrey stopped moving to stare back at Mary, a frown plastered on her wrinkled face. It was the same one I saw her on face whenever one of us was in there after doing something stupid.

"Do you know what day it is, Ms. Macdonald?" she pressed. "You should have been expecting this sort of thing. I have people in here who can't breathe, or see, or talk. They've been transfigured. While I am sure that your…er... _hoof_ is concerning. It is very low on the list of priorities. It is likely temporary and will wear off on its own. Come back after last lesson if it hasn't been fixed by then,"

Madam Pompfrey cast a specific, stern look at three of us waiting for her and added, "That goes for you lot, as well."

Marlene turned to me, triumphant and hand outstretched, the joy of being right written plainly across her face. Sighing, I reached into my bag and fumbled around until I found a Galleon to hand her.

"Thank _you_ very much," Marlene replied happily, pocketing it, as Mary strode over, looking very frustrated.

"Sorry, Mary," I told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I'm sure it'll wear off soon."

Mary sighed. 'It better off I'll have run off and live in the Forest with the rest of the _ponies._ "

Marlene grinned at her, "I'm pretty sure it's offensive to call the Centaurs that, and from what Doe says they're not the friendliest of creatures. If you are going to join them, I wouldn't insult them right off the bat."

"I'll point out the friendliest ones," I joked, "make your transition to the Forest a little easier."

Marlene and Lily both laughed, and Mary offered me a small smile. "Don't make me laugh, I want to be angry."

"It's not worth it," I assured her. "Might as well have a little fun with it, and we'll get it all sorted out later, okay? In the meantime, just be happy you can talk, because I don't think we're going to hear another word from Lily all day."

Lily gave a very specific nod that suggested I was right, and Mary sighed. The four of us made our way to Defense, while trying every charm and counter charm we could think of on ourselves to lessen the effects of the pranks. After trying everything I could think of, all I had managed to do was make Marlene's feathers a little smaller, and remove the hair from Mary's hoof. Nothing I had tried on Lily had worked even a little, and my hair was still blue. Short of shearing it off, I couldn't think of anything that would work.

Everyone was halfway through the lesson when we got there, and Professor Marchbanks looked like she wanted to tell us off for it, but decided against it after she took a long look at us.

"Just take your seats then," Professor Marchbanks said, watching us slightly amused from the beside the chalkboard. In the front row, sat the Marauders, looking far too pleased. Except for Remus, he looked a little remorseful.

Mary and Lily glared at them, while Marlene and I did our best to avoid them. Not willing to give them the satisfaction.

"Is that a hoof, Macdonald?" Narcissa cried out happily, as we passed. So far, she seemed to be unaffected by the Marauder's pranks. I could only hope they fixed that before the end of the day. If anyone deserved to have clubbed feet or stalked by a ghost, it was Narcissa.

Mary ignored her, taking her seat behind Lily and me, facing towards Marchbanks who had gone back to teaching about the counter-jinxes, and was too distracted to notice anything going behind her back.

"Now you really are an animal, huh?" Elizabeth added cruelly to Mary. "Maybe if you're parents hadn't been muggles you'd know a way to fix that."

"Oh, shove it, Burke," I hissed at her, knowing how sensitive Mary was about it already. Not to mention, she feared the Slytherins on a good day. Today, especially she'd be even more upset.

"You're no better, _Meadowes,_ " Elizabeth hissed at me, taking extra care to say my surname like it disgusted her. "At least MacDonald's parents didn't know what they were bringing into the world. Your mother embarrassed all of Slytherin house by fucking a Mudblood."

That shut me right up. My blood seemed to boil as my hand twitched towards my wand sitting on my desk. It took everything I had not to grab it and hex her right where we sat. In the front of the room, Marchbanks droned on completely unaware of what was happening in the back of the room. Lily looked like she wanted to say anything desperately but was avoiding it because of what could come out of her mouth. Marlene actually opened her mouth to say something, but ended up coughing a few feathers into her book bag instead.

Elizabeth smiled, seeing that her comment had hurt me. Glowing with pride, she turned behind her to where Mulciber and Wilkes sat.

"Sebastian?" Elizabeth called proudly, "Who do you think got it worse. Mary or Doe? Granted, Mary now shares the anatomy of a half-breed, which is a step-up from being a Mudblood, but that color blue really does make Doe look disgusting, doesn't it?"

It was so like Elizabeth to push this. Her arrogance and disgusting nature always led her to it. I rolled my eyes, turning forward, completely intending to just ignore them, when Mary turned around in her seat to face them.

"You know, maybe if your families hadn't been sleeping with one another for centuries, you and Mulciber wouldn't have such squat noses or stringy hair," Mary snapped back at Elizabeth, unusually strong. "I hear inbreeding leads to poor physical traits."

My mouth fell open in astonishment at her words. Mary never spoke up brazenly like that, especially not to Slytherins. It was very Gryffindor of her, and I felt proud to have witnessed it.

Marlene seemed to be as shocked as I was, her eyes bugging out of her face as she turned to Lily and me. "Did you hear that?" she demanded. Lily made a tiny incoherent noise.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth and Mulciber were staring at Mary with such a palpable hatred, I could almost feel it radiating towards us. Mulciber's face was white, and Elizabeth seemed to be shaking.

She opened her mouth to say something, but her lips had barely parted when Mulciber placed his hand on hers. He shook his slightly.

"Don't waste your breath, Lizzie," he whispered quietly to Elizabeth, his dark eyes locked tightly on Mary. There was something sinister behind his eyes but Mary didn't shudder away from it. She simply held his gaze and turned around in her seat to face Marchbanks.

"That was brilliant," I whispered to her, still beaming from observing her bravery, "absolutely brilliant. I am in awe of you."

"I'm shaking pretty badly if it's any consolation," Mary said staring forward. She seemed to be purposefully avoiding looking backwards anywhere near the Slytherins.

Lily looked at her happily and placed her hand over Mary's hoof. "When all else looks bleak and _grave_ , the weak and the innocent will become very _brave_ ," she said firmly.

Mary snickered slightly, and then recovered looking at Lily very seriously. "Thank you, Robert Frost." Lily rolled her eyes, and Mary spent the next ten minutes explaining muggle poetry to Marlene.

Meanwhile my brain drifted back to what Mary had said. Inbreeding. It was common among the Purebloods in our world. There simply weren't enough of them to keep the blood lines closed. My mother had told me about in once. Her lineage was full of it, cousins and second cousins. The Greengrass side of my family was no better than Mulciber or Elizabeth's family. I was surprised I didn't have six toes.

The lesson went by quickly, and half the class ducked out in seconds to avoid the Marauders. It was on our way to Herbology that Marlene was mid-sentence telling us about a story about the time she and her siblings had accidently bet with a Goblin, when she stopped talking and burst into laughter, pointing at my head.

"Bloody hell," she laughed, her whole face red. 'Your hair is pink now!"

I stopped walking and sighed. "Tell me you're joking," I said picking up the ends of my hair. I watched in irritation as the color slipped down the strands, replacing the bright blue with a soft baby pink.

I groaned as we made our way to Herbology. I soon learned that whatever charm kept changing my hair color, seemed to work on the hour. In Herbology, it stayed baby pink. In Care of Magical Creatures, Amelia was doubled over in laughter as it changed to a light, mousy brown, and by the time I entered the Great Hall for lunch, it was a dark red almost exactly like Lily's.

"I like the pink better than the red, if I'm being honest," Marlene said as I sat down and served myself a bit of pork at the lunch table.

I gave her a cold side eye that made her chuckle, as she reached for her pumpkin juice.

"How are the feathers?" I asked gesturing to the empty cauldron she had beside her. It was already half full of feathers that she seemed to be coughing up. She reached into grabbed a handful of them and blew them at me while I ducked, still giggling.

"I like the red," Mary said, hiding her hoof under the table. "It's like having two Lily's." She cast a happy smile at Lily who seemed to be reading at the table, taking tiny bites of an apple in front of her.

"Hey Lils," I said offering her a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"An apple a _day_ , keeps the threstral _away,_ " she said, holding up her apple.

"The rhyming is so fun," Mary told me excitedly, "I spent half of Ancient Runes trying to get her to talk more."

She looked pleased about it, and even Lily cracked a tiny smile.

I was about to ask her wat she had said when I stopped to see something even more bizarre. Alice was walking down the space between the house tables carrying a small white duck in her arms. She smiled at me as she passed.

"Why is Alice carrying a duck?" I asked my friends, watching as she placed it on its own seat beside her and fed it tiny chunks of potatoes.

"That's not a duck," Mary said shaking her head, as she downed her entire goblet of pumpkin juice. "It's Frank Longbottom."

"That's honestly Frank?" I repeated, in disbelief.

Mary shook her head and the four of us watched as the duck lapped pumpkin juice out of a bowl that Alice handed him, while Otto Bagman and Landon McKinnon watched on in horror.

"You've got to admit, human transfiguration is really advanced stuff," Marlene added, hiccupping another feather into her cauldron.

"It's got James Potter written all over it," Mary said sighing. "Landon told me he witnessed him turn Peter Pettigrew into a hat the other day. That boy really knows his Transfiguration."

Marlene raised an eyebrow at her. "Hmm. Did my brother happen to tell you that before or after the snogging?" she asked with a smirk.

Mary turned slightly red and took another bite of her food, while Lily and I giggled some more.

"It does seem like the Marauders went all out this year," I said shaking my head, as Amos Diggory came into the room, with his broom seemingly stuck to his hand with a permanent sticking charm that made eating his lunch virtually impossible. "No one got off easy,"

"Coming from you and your cute color changing hair that doesn't mean much," Marlene reminded me. "Maybe I should become friends with Sirius Black too, maybe then I wouldn't be vomiting a pound of feathers."

I shook my head, furiously. "I don't think my being friends with Sirius matters much, Marls. Look at Lily. James adores her and she can't open her mouth without a nursery rhyme coming out."

"I still think you got off easy," Marlene said, and coughed up a particularly large black feather.

"Karma works fast," I told her quickly, and she waved me off.

There was a quick mumble of conversation as the Marauders walked into the room. Every pair of eyes was locked on them, either out of fear or admiration. Sirius and James seemed to be loving it. They took a heavy bow and practically skipped to their seats.

"Speak of the devil and he will appear," Mary muttered miserably her eyes watching them as they sat down beside us.

"How are you today, Ladies?" James asked cheekily as he sat down, his glasses nearly sliding down the end of his nose as he stared proudly at us.

Marlene took the opportunity to cough up another few feathers, and Lily just glared at him. Mary held up her hoof as an answer.

"I like the hair, Meadowes," Sirius said cheekily, picking up a piece of my now red hair and twirling it between his fingers. "Though I suppose we'll have to keep you away from Prongs for the next hour, until it changes. You know how he _loves_ a redhead."

From his other side, James winked dramatically at me and Lily scowled at him from across the table.

"I knew it was you," I narrowed my eyes at him and turned pointedly forward, "I'm mad at you, today and have decided to not acknowledge your existence."

Sirius grinned. "Is that so? Then tell me, how exactly do you plan to tutor me if you're not acknowledging my existence?"

"Change my hair back and we'll find out."

Sirius shook his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about Meadowes, and even if I did. I wouldn't do a thing about it, because no one gets special treatment on this momentous day."

"Momentous?" Mary asked with narrowed eyes. "You lot turned me into a horse."

Remus gave her a pathetic look. "Everything done today is temporary if that helps," he offered her.

"Moony!" Sirius chided, elbowing him in the ribs. "Stop sharing trade secrets!"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Honestly Padfoot, it's not as if they think they're going to stay like that. It probably won't even last all day. They'll be in the Hospital Wing before last lesson."

"Still," Sirius said, pouting at his friend. "You're ruining the fun for everyone."

Marlene and I shook our heads at him, and Remus looked a little comforted. Peter giggled into his arm.

James was leaning his arm on the table and staring Lily down. 'What's wrong, Evans. Haven't you got anything to say?"

Lily looked like she wanted to murder him with her eyes, and I didn't blame her. He was purposefully bating her.

"Come on, Evans," James continued to press, his eyebrows wiggling up and down as he looked at her. "Insult me."

Lily looked like there was nothing more than she wanted to do. I was sure I didn't imagine the look she cast at her wand sitting on the table.

"You haven't got _anything_ to say?" James asked. "Now's your chance. Speak now, or forever hold your peace."

Lily's full mouth rumbled, and it looked like she was fighting tooth and nail to keep it closed. Her fingernails dug into the table as she kept her lips firmly pursed, and then as if it were out of her control the words spilled out like vomit.

"James Potter, James Potter he's handsome and _fun_ ," she croaked miserably, "James Potter, James Potter, my heart he has _won._ "

She looked like she wanted to throw herself off of the Astronomy Tower and glared at James Potter with a frenzied hatred.

Meanwhile, all of the rest of us burst into laughter, unable to contain it. It was a little funny, even if it was bitterly unfair for Lily.

"I've been waiting all day for that," James said, leaning backward, utterly appeased.

Lily rolled her eyes and turned back to the book in front of her, deciding to ignore the Marauders for the rest of the period.

"Probably the only time you'll ever hear her say those words, mate," Sirius told him dejectedly.

James shook his head. "No way. Evans'll come around eventually. You'll all see. You'll be dancing at our wedding someday."

Unable to use her words, Lily tossed a handful of crisps at him.

"Do you think that will be before or after we commit him to St. Mungos?" I whispered quietly to Sirius.

He grinned back at me. "I thought you were ignoring me?" he asked quietly, wiggling his eyebrows.

I shrugged, "I keep figuring if I butter you up enough, you'll change my hair back."

"That's funny," James snorted loudly. "You could take your top off and he still won't do it, Doe. Padfoot and I are serious about this holiday."

Peter giggled and Remus coughed into his goblet, casting a disappointed look at his friends.

"Technically," Sirius butted in happily, "I'm _always_ Sirius."

James ignored him. "See? He's intrinsically ridiculous. He can't be convinced of anything."

Sirius winked at me and I turned back to my lunch, doing my best to ignore the fact that I could see the color of my hair changing again out of the corner of my eye. It was violet now.

As I was mentally cursing the Marauders and my rotten luck, a horrible thought popped into my head. Severus always got the worse of the Marauder's Second Christmas. I turned to the Slytherin table and searched for him. He was sitting in his usual spot and looked relatively fine. A feat considering that three quarters of the Slytherin table were sporting boils or jinxes that prohibited them from eating. Much as I disliked Snape, that made me nervous. He wasn't going to get away from this day unharmed.

The rest of the day was a blur. My hair changed twice more, once a dark gray, and then again, a light green, that I detested because it made me look like a Slytherin.

Sometime before last lesson, Marlene coughed up her last feather and she was in a wonderful mood about it.

In Transfiguration, we were studying how to transfigure items into more than one, using the double charm. It was devilishly tricky and took me half the lesson before I was able to duplicate the snuffbox in front of me.

"Ms. Macdonald, those opera glasses are not going to duplicate themselves!" Professor McGonagall chided carefully as she passed our table. Lily and I had already gotten the hang of the spell and Marlene was trying her best. Mary was still struggling to hold her wand in her left hand.

"But Professor," Mary whined carefully, "I can't do the spell right with my left hand and my right hand is occupied at the moment!"

Professor McGonagall adjusted her eyeglasses and looked down at Mary's hoof with a stern look on her face.

"Well I suppose under the circumstances, you can practice the spell later this evening or tomorrow," Professor McGonagall said quietly, casting a furious look at the Marauder's table. "I do not like this day," she added low enough for only the four of us to hear.

"You're not alone in that, Professor," Lily assured her, her tone tense and irritated. It took a second and then her face lit up with color. She wasn't rhyming anymore.

"Oh, thank Merlin," she said taking a deep breath as she relaxed. "I was going insane without being able to speak? Do you know what kind of torture it was to sit across from James Potter and not say what was on my mind?"

She shuddered and Professor McGonagall seemed to offer her a small smile, before drifting off to correct some of the Ravenclaws.

Lily turned to Mary, her face full of hope. "See Mare? Marlene and I's spells have already worn off. I'm sure you and Doe's will too."

"It better," Mary said, examining her hoof carefully. "I don't think I can put nail polish on this."

The three of us snickered as we went back to finishing the lesson. By the time it was over, my hair was jet black and Mary's hand still wasn't fixed and she headed off towards the Hospital Wing at a run.

"Are you going with her?" Lily asked me, watching as Mary almost knocked over two first years in her haste.

I shook my head, "I've got to tutor Sirius, and anyway it'll wear off, right? Remus said as much," I told them.

I said goodbye to them and headed towards the library, surprisingly I found Sirius waiting for me in the corridor. He blinked quickly when he saw me and then grinned.

"Now the black hair is interesting," he said, walking alongside me with a cocky grin. "Really makes your eyes pop."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Funny. Do you at least know how many more colors of the rainbow I'm going to get through before it wears off?" I asked him, gripping the side of the staircase as it moved beneath us.

Sirius blinked slowly, racking his brain. "Sorry Meadowes, I don't remember," he said plainly. "I'm merely the executioner."

"Well in that case, I'm going to make you learn the most asinine charms spells I can think of for the entire hour," I told him cheekily, as he followed me into the library. "I hope you like cheering charms."

The library was full today, not surprising considering that the exams were getting closer. I knew sooner or later, I would have to crack down and start studying more, but I was avoiding it, and the frenzy that would surely follow. Every person in the room watched Sirius and I as we took our seats at our usual table in the back. Most of them looking at him in fear that he might pull something in here. Even Madam Pince was watching him with watchful, narrowed eyes.

"Not the most popular mate around today, am I?" Sirius asked, plopping down in his chair.

"Ever consider that's because you altered the anatomy of every person in the castle?" I asked him, as we took out of charms books.

Sirius rolled his eyes at me. "Don't be dramatic, Doe. I'd say we only got to half of the castle at most."

He looked thrilled that I had cracked a smile as I opened my copy of Advanced Charms, and I shook my head making sure he knew how stupid I thought the whole thing was.

We set out to work reviewing some of the easier spells, and spent most of the hour doing that. Sirius seemed to be in a particularly unruly mood today, and after every spell he mastered, tried to talk me out of continuing. It wasn't until Otto Bagman strode past us forty minutes later, that he got his wish.

"Hey mate, I just saw Snivellus," Otto said, lingering at the edge of our table. "That was bloody brilliant."

Sirius flashed Otto a wide smile. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Bagman," he said with a casual wink. It was clear from the look on his face, that whatever he had done to Severus was unnervingly cruel.

Otto clapped him on the shoulder and disappeared in between the shelves, in search of whatever book he had been looking for before he spotted him.

" _What_ did you do to Severus?" I hissed quietly at Sirius, rounding on him with a disapproving look.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. 'Why do you feel bad for _him?_ Not you too. Isn't it bad enough that Evans in always hanging around him."

I gave him a knowing look. "You know I don't really give a flying hippogriff about Severus," I told him. "I'm worried about _you._ "

"You worry about _me?_ " Sirius replied cheekily, looking far too excited as he leaned closer dramatically. "Oh, Meadows. I had _no_ idea."

I shoved him hard in the shoulder trying to get him to focus. "You almost killed Snape a month ago," I reminded him harshly, dropping my voice. "Do you really think it's wise to mess with him again? Dumbledore's going to kick you out, I swear."

I sighed, running my hands through my new dark hair. Sirius and his behavior were going to give me an aneurysm. I'd never met a more idiotic, brilliant person. It was like he was determined to see how far he could toe the line, before he went flying over it.

Sirius' mouth curved upward at the ends, trying to avoid smiling as I frowned back at him. "Meadowes, _Relax_. You're going to get worry lines. It's a harmless prank."

I raised an eyebrow. "That's what you said last time," I repeated.

Sirius cracked a smile at me, gathering his hair up and tying it into a knot at the base of his head. "I didn't push my luck, alright?" he told me, shaking his head as if he could hardly believe I was question him, "It was a simple enlarging charm, nothing else. Harmless. Snivellus is still very much intact."

"Where?" I pressed, fearing I already knew the answer before I asked.

"Where what?" Sirius asked, trying to close the Charms book while I was distracted. I stopped him, leaving it open. He wasn't going to distract me out of tutoring. He frowned.

"Where did you cast the enlarging charm on him?"

Sirius flashed me a mischievous smile. "Well let's put it this way, it was on a piece of anatomy that was already so greasy and large it _hardly_ made a difference at all."

"His nose?" I said shaking my head. "That's just mean."

They had enlarged his already, giant hooked nose. I rolled my eyes and Sirius let out a low chuckle.

"Where's your sense of adventure, Meadowes?" he asked. "That's one of the things I like best about you."

"Adventure I understand," I told him, eyeing his grey eyes carefully. "Trips in the forest, that's exhilarating. And the pranks, I'll give you this, it's funny." I said picking up a strand of color changing hair. It made him smirk.

"But," I added quickly before he could say anything else. "baiting Severus just seems like a bad idea. You know how he is. He likes the Dark Arts and so do the people he hangs around with."

I thought of Mulciber and Wilkes and shuddered. I didn't even want to think about what kind of dark magic the three of them knew, or were desperate to try out. Giving them a reason would only make them more willing too.

"I'm not afraid of the Slytherins," Sirius told me firmly, his face earnest than it had been a moment ago. "What? You don't think I can take them?"

Now his face was full of humor again, as he wagged his eyebrows at the fictitious challenge.

I shook my head. "I never said that."

Sirius grinned again, seemingly please by my answer. "Good. I expected a little more from the bird who regular takes down Rabastan Lestrange."

"Please," I snorted, flipping the page of the book in front of me. "I could do that _wandless_ , and I have."

The fear I felt for Rabastan Lestrange wasn't the same kind I felt for Mulciber or Wilkes. Rabastan's only power over me was physical. If it came down to duel, I was sure I would be able to take him down. He was all talk.

Sirius leaned back into his chair and watched me with an entertained smile. He chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes drifting up and down to survey my face very carefully, like it was the most interesting thing he'd looked at that day.

It was so slow and careful, it almost made me self-conscious. "Somehow, Meadowes. I don't doubt that," he said smoothly.

There was something different about his tone, but I couldn't quite place what it was. Before I could ask him about it, he spoke again.

"Your hair's back to normal," Sirius said nodding at the top of my head.

I reached out excitedly and watched as my hair hung from my head was back to its normal light, icy blonde. I let out a sigh of relief, glad that this day was slowly coming to an end.

I winked at Sirius, and added another spell for him to practice that made him groan in annoyance.

"At this rate, I better score an O on my charms exam," he told me. "And when it's over, you're not allowed to even mention the words Charms around me for six months."

I opened my mouth to mention something cheeky about Sirius actually sitting for the exam when the doors to the library opened with a burst of magic. One that was stronger than any student was able to produce. Every single head in the library looked up

Professor McGonagall strode into the room with quick steps, her wand drawn carefully. She headed straight for Madam Pince and whispered something to her in a soft voice.

"What do you think that's about?" I asked Sirius.

Sirius shrugged, "Dunno. But it looks like we're about to find out," he said nodding back towards the two teachers.

Madam Pince appeared to be pointing at us. Professor McGonagall gave her a curt nod and headed straight for our table.

Sirius frowned, as she approached, his face showing that his mind was somewhere else entirely, running through something I didn't understand. "Merlin, maybe she found it," he whispered quietly.

"Found what?" I demanded.

He shook his head quickly and sat up slightly straighter. "Nothing," Sirius assured me confidently, " _But_ if she asks about where I was this morning, say I was with you. Alright?"

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. "You're going to be the death of me, Sirius. I swear it."

"You could do a lot worse, Meadowes," Sirius replied back, and winked at me.

We both waited patiently as Professor McGonagall strode through the aisles of the library and approached our table. Sirius did look a bit more nervous than he hand a moment before, and it made me wonder what _thing_ he was referring too. He would definitely have some explaining to do when we got back to the Common Room. Especially if he wanted me to cover for him.  
But it wasn't Sirius that Professor McGonagall was staring down with a grave face. It was _me._

I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, and there was no way I had broken any school rules, but that didn't seem to matter. It wasn't with anger that Professor McGonagall was staring down at me with. It was _pity._

"Ms. Meadowes," Professor McGonagall said quickly, "I need you to come with me please."

Her tone was just as concerning as her face. Nothing good ever came from ushering someone out of a crowded space. I could feel Sirius' grey eyes boring into the back of my head as I got up.

"Is everything alright, Professor?" I asked, as I gathered my bag and things.

"I'm afraid not," Professor McGonagall sighed and gave a tiny shake of her head gesturing for me to follow her. "There's something you need to see."

It sounded serious. More serious than McGonagall normally was, and that was not a comforting thought. I couldn't help but wish she was yelling at me. This was more terrifying than a hundred lectures.

"Go," Sirius said quickly, thinking along the same line. "I'll bring the books back for you."

I barely had time to nod back at him, before I followed Professor McGonagall out of the library. She was walking briskly, her face filled with a sort of distanced emotion. The thought of it made me chest fill with icy dread. I followed her down two flights of stairs and down a corridor in silence, before I finally got the courage to speak up.

"Professor," I said quietly, as we rounded another corner. "What's going on?"

We had stopped outside of the Hospital Wing. Unlike this morning, there were no lines of students waiting outside. Now, the large oak doors were closed, and Professor McGonagall stopped in front of them, turning to face me.

"Ms. Macdonald is in the Hospital Wing," Professor McGonagall said quickly. "Your presence was requested, along with Ms. Evans and Ms. McKinnon."

"For her hand?" I asked quietly. It seemed like quite a production over a hoof. Especially one Madam Pompfrey had said would only be temporary. I could hardly understand how Professor McGonagall had been sent like an owl to fetch me over that. Mary would never have suggested something like that. She would have hated the attention. I felt a paralyzing fear strike me in the chest as I realized that situation was becoming more unlikely by the second.

Professor McGonagall shook her head quickly. "No Ms. Meadowes, not for her hand," she said evenly. She took a deep breath and then gave me a very motherly look. "Ms. Macdonald was attacked," she said, her voice cracking slightly. "You should prepare yourself."

I felt every breath I had been holding onto bottom out of my chest, and had to resist the urge to let my hand flew out and steady myself.

Mary had been attacked? Was she alright? What had happened? So many questions were racing through my head it felt like it was going to explode. Not that I would have noticed. All I could think about was Mary.

Professor McGonagall gave me a few seconds and then opened the door to the Hospital Wing, her green robes billowing out behind her like a cape. I wasn't sure how my feet carried through the door, my brain was somewhere else. Like I was drifting through fog.

The Hospital Wing was completely empty except for the far-right corner. Several people seemed to be crowded around one bed. Madam Pompfrey came around the other side of it, a wand in one hand a flask in the other. Her face was wrinkled in frustration but seemed to lighten when she saw Professor McGonagall.

"Oh thank heavens, Minerva," Madam Pompfrey said, adjusting her bonnet. "Have you fetched Albus yet?"

"He will be arriving shortly," Professor McGonagall assure her. I didn't linger to hear the rest of their conversation, because the bed curtain had been pulled back and what I saw nearly broke my heart.

Marlene and Lily were both sitting in chairs on the side of the bed, puffy eyed and red-faced, like they had been crying. My eyes flew immediately to the bed, where Mary laid, and I had to cover my mouth to keep from gasping.

She seemed to be unconscious, as her eyes remain firmly closed. Her head was resting carefully on the pillow, her dark hair sprawled out around her like a cloud. The only indication I had that she was sleeping and not dead was the slow rhythmic rising of her chest.

I was about to open my mouth to ask what was wrong with her, when I noticed her arms. Her hands, both of them restored to hands and hoof-free, were resting on either side of her on the blankets but her arms were bandaged tightly with white gauze. All the way from her elbows to her wrists. And I could clearly see the dark stains several layers deep. The stains I knew meant blood.

My stomach bottomed out, and a small noise escaped my throat. I noticed Julie was sitting on the other side of her bed, curled up in a ball in one of the chairs, her hand resting only an inch from Mary's. A tear slid down my cheek, and I did my best to wipe it before another one came.

"Oh, Doe!" Lily said, getting up from her seat to pull me into a tight hug. I barely felt it as she buried her head onto my shoulder and bawled, but I patted her head the best I could, but I was still too stunned from what I was witnessing to do much else.

"What happened?" I whispered, as Lily cried harder, her worry for Mary was almost palpable.

Marlene wiped quickly at her eyes, smudging a bit of black eyeliner as she did. I noticed she was holding her wand rather firmly in her left hand.

"Someone used the Imperius curse on her," Julie answered from the other side of the bed, not taking her eyes off of her sister as she spoke. "Made her slit her arms with some kind of dagger."

My hand shook as I covered my mouth, another fat tear leaking from my eyes as Lily sobbed harder onto me.

"The dagger kept healing the wounds, so she had to keep doing it" Marlene spat. "Some kind of dark magic."

"They had to give her a sleeping potion so she'd stop screaming," Lily sniffed, lifting her head from my shoulder.

I could barely keep my hands from shaking at the thought. My blood was boiling at the thought of Mary having to go through that much pain. I sunk down into the open chair next to Lily and brought my knees up to my chest.

"Is she going to be alright?" I asked softly, knowing very well I wouldn't be able to live with the alternative. I had to sit on my hands to keep them from shaking so much.

Julie gave a tiny nod, looking years older than a third year when she did. "Madam Pompfrey said she should be okay. _Physically_ , anyway."

Physically. Of course. Because there was no way to know how terrified or traumatized she would be when she woke up. I squeezed my eyes to keep from picturing her that way, scared or anxious. The idea of my friend having to go through something like that was sickening. I couldn't even think about it.

Then another emotion ran through me. One so fierce and powerful that it seemed to make my face go instantly hot with rage.

"Do they know who did it?" I asked quickly, my upset replaced with white hot fury. I already knew the answer, even if they didn't. Anyone who had been in Defense this morning knew. I would never forget the way Mulciber and Elizabeth had looked at her. Like she was a problem to be taken care of. This wasn't an accident.

This was revenge.

Lily shook her head, and Marlene narrowed her eyes, her jaw shaking with fury as she looked down at Mary.

"Mary says she didn't see who hit her with the curse," Marlene said, and the three of them exchanged a quick look.

"What?" I asked, wiping at my eyes. I felt like I was missing something.

Lily hiccupped as she wiped away her tears, and shook her head. It was Marlene who spoke next.

"I don't believe her," she said quietly. "None of us do. She told Julie it was Mulciber and then when McGonagall came in asking questions her story instantly changed. Immediately."

"You think she's lying because she's afraid?" I asked, chewing nervously on my bottom lip.

Marlene gave me a curt nod, and wiped at her eye again. "I mean, we know it was Mulciber. He practically threatened her this morning. And you know how afraid she is of him." She threw her hands down in exasperation. She didn't need to say anymore. I knew exactly what she meant.

It was Mulciber. I knew that. He had always been obsessed with Dark Magic, _and_ he hated Muggleborns. The argument between him and Mary had only exacerbated what he was already capable of. It made me sick.

I stroked Mary's hand gently, fighting back the urge to cry again, while Lily broke down and sobbed into the sleeve of her robe. Marlene and Julie, just wrapped their arms tighter around themselves.

The four of us sat huddled around Mary's bedside for hours, sometimes talking. Sometimes sitting in total silence. Mary didn't do anything but sleep. Whatever sleeping potion Madam Pompfrey had given her was strong, and she never stirred. I hoped that she was having good dreams. Anything to keep her from remembering the horrors of what she had experienced earlier.

At one point, Professor Dumbledore had come in said a polite hello to us, and then disappeared into Madam Pompfrey's office with her and Professor McGonagall. They didn't come out for at least an hour.

"No one's going to get in trouble for this if they don't know who did it," Lily said after a while staring off into the direction of the office. "Someone has to say something."

When the door to the room opened, I was fully prepared to speak up, when Marlene jumped up from her seat, crossing the length of the room on her long legs and stopping directly in front of Professor Dumbledore.

"Professor, I don't mean any disrespect or anything," Marlene said firmly, staring at our headmaster as if he were simply one of her Housemates. "but I don't care what anyone says. We know exactly who did this. It was Sebastian Mulciber. He threatened her this morning in Defense. Ask anyone. And I'd be willing to bet fifty galleons that Elizabeth helped. She's an evil little git, that one."

Lily and I looked at each other and had to stifle a laugh. Behind us Julie giggled. You had to admire Marlene's courage if nothing else. It wasn't just anyone who would call a classmate a git to Albus Dumbledore's face.

A ghost of a smile drifted across Professor Dumbledore's wise features as he looked down at Marlene's furrowed brow and crossed arms.

"I can assure you that a full investigation will be had, Ms. McKinnon, the guilty parties will be punished," he assured her. "And while I do admire your colorful vocabulary, might I suggest saying it for your schoolmates, and not in my presence."

"I'll take that into consideration, Professor," Marlene said firmly and turned back on her heels to sit by Mary's bedside again.

Her words had made the four of us smile slightly, something we hadn't done in hours. But after a few seconds, the happiness was once again lifted from the room as we looked at Mary's injured form.

We stayed in the Hospital Wing well past dinner. After dinner, a panicked Landon McKinnon had begged Madam Pompfrey to let him come in and see Mary. Madam Pompfrey refused saying Mary already had too many visitors. He spent fifteen minutes arguing with her before Lily, Marlene and I decided to go back to the Common Room and let him have our spots. Julie didn't move from her sister's side.

The three of us were silent as we made our way back to the Gryffindor Common Room. There was nothing to say. Mary was hurt, and we knew exactly who had done it, and why. Blood Status. So many people had already been hurt because of it, and it felt like the turmoil would never stop.

The only question remaining was, would the guilty parties face punishment.

I didn't think the answer would be no.

* * *

A week and a half later, Mary was still in the Hospital Wing.

Madam Pompfrey had insisted that whatever dark magic the dagger had been enchanted with had made her injuries extra sensitive, and she wasn't being released until they were absolutely sure they wouldn't reopen. Lily, Marlene and I visited her every moment we could, rotating shifts with Landon and Julie so she wasn't alone except for nights.

When she had first woken up, she was panicky and terrified, but after a few hours she seemed to be better, if not a little quiet.

We spent as much time as we could trying to convince Mary to admit she had seen Mulciber curse her. She shot us down every time, admitting it but refusing to share that with Professor McGonagall or Professor Dumbledore.

"But I don't understand," I told her, the morning after the incident, "You want him to just get away with hurting you?"

The three of us had taken the break between classes to try and convince her to come clean to McGonagall and so far, we were having really rotten luck.

Mary let out a deep sigh and rubbed at her eyes. "Of course not, but Doe if I say something he could do it again. He did this because I insulted him. What do you think he'll do if I get him expelled from Hogwarts? He would try to kill me, or get one of his father's Death Eater buddies to do it for him. I'm not making myself any more of a target than I already am."

Marlene, Lily and I exchanged a quick look. We didn't agree with her, but it was hard to argue with something like that.

After that, we stopped bothering her about it so much. The three of us focused instead on making sure Professor McGonagall had every ounce of information she needed on what happened. So much so, that she accused us of hounding her.

It felt like all we could do. The Slytherins had been talking about Mary's attack all week, practically laughing while they did. The day after Mary's incident, Elizabeth and Mulciber had stopped us before potions.

"So, tell us," Elizabeth had called from the opposite wall, twirling her hair as she grinned at the four of us. "How is that mudblood Macdonald?"

Marlene gripped the inside of her hand harder, and Lily ground her teeth together. It took everything I had not to lunge forward and rip her head off with her bare hands. The other Slytherins and Gryffindors watched us with wide eyes.

"It's pity she didn't die," Mulciber said, evenly. His eyes locked on the three of us. "We'd all be better off."

That was all it took. My wand was drawn and I lunged forward pressing it tightly against his throat. Marlene joined me in seconds. Her own wand pointing fiercely at Elizabeth.

Mulciber looked slightly more worried now than he had a moment ago, staring down at the end of my wand. There was nothing like a wand pointed at your throat to quiet someone down.

"Give me a reason," I snapped at him, digging the wand deeper into his throat. "Merlin, I'm _begging_ you to give me one more reason to hex you into next week.

Mulciber's dark eyes flashed back at me, looking very out of place beside his sandy brown hair.

"Have you learned nothing from Macdonald?" he asked me coldly, doing his best to pretend my wand wasn't there. "I will not be respected by bloodtraitors or Mudbloods. You point your wand at me again, Meadowes and you'll get a fate worse than Macdonald's."

I had wanted to hex him right then and there. I would have if Slughorn hadn't come around the corner and broken it up. Sirius had had to pull me back by the waist to stop me from doing what I had wanted too.

What Mulciber deserved.

* * *

"The Professor's aren't going to do anything about it, are they?" Lily asked from her chair in the common room a few days later. Her tears had finally stopped and seemingly turned straight into rage. "They're just going to let him _get away it?_ " Her eyes were lit with an angry fire that seemed to burn continuously no matter what.

Marlene sighed, dropping the copy of Witch Weekly she was reading on her lap. "What can they do, Lily? Mulciber swore to them he wasn't involved, and no one but Mary saw what happened. She refused to give them the memory for the Pensive, so what more can they do?"

"If no one does anything the Slytherins are going to think it's okay to attack people because of their blood status," Lily told her, chewing on her fingernails. "All of this, will only get worse. If we want it to stop we're going have to do something about it ourselves."

Marlene raised an eyebrow at her. 'Are you suggesting we get revenge on Mulciber ourselves?"

Lily's eyes flickered carefully. "That's _exactly_ what I'm suggesting."

That made me drop the Charms book I was reading and turn to my friend. The gears in her head seemed to be turning even faster than usual.

"Are you serious?" I asked her, completely surprised that Lily of all people was suggesting vigilante justice.

She nodded. "Dead serious. This isn't a petty school argument. They could have killed Mary. They need to pay for it." She readjusted in her armchair so she was closer to the two of us. "Anyone got any ideas?"

It was brilliant. Mad, but brilliant. We'd take care of Mulciber ourselves. Scare the devil out of him so he never messed with another muggleborns again.

A small smile crossed my face as the idea popped into my brain. I knew exactly how we could pull this off. We'd need to call in professionals. People who specialized in hell-raising and mischief.

"I have one," I told her, "but you're not going to like it."

I turned and looked pointedly at the Marauders, clustered around the fireplace around an open copy of the prophet. Lily followed my eyes and sighed. Marlene grinned.

"Fine," Lily sighed getting up from her armchair, "But only because it's for Mary."

Marlene and I smiled, and followed her over to the Marauders. If we were going to get Mulciber back for what he did to Mary, there was no one better to help than the Mischief-makers themselves.


	17. How To Scare A Snake

**AUTHORS NOTE: Again, I am sorry for the lapse in updating. If it's any consolation. I was in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and it really helped me figure out a little hiccup I was having in the story. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and just a heads up, the next chapter update has a VERY pivotal scene in it, so stay tuned.**

17

How to Scare a Snake

"I'd like to go on record saying that involving these four is a _bad idea_ ," Lily whispered quietly as the three of us rounded another corner, our robes billowing out behind us as we did.

We were practically tiptoeing around the castle in our efforts to be inconspicuous, and Lily's hesitation was written plainly across her face. She had spent the last ten minutes whispering warnings to us.

I understood where she was coming from. It was hard not too, with the Marauder's track record.

"Yes, you've made that very clear," Marlene reminded her, "but we've already decided."

Lily sighed and nodded her head, remembering that she had already agreed. It was too late to back out now.

I peeked around the corner to make sure there wasn't anyone to see us. That was one of the key parts of what we were doing. We couldn't be _seen_.

"Where are we meeting them again?" Marlene whispered to me, her eyes scanning the corridors carefully. There wasn't much point to it. There was no one lingering in the hallways anyway. Most of the castle was still at breakfast. It was too early for anyone to be wandering around.

Our morning Defense class had been canceled by Marchbanks for an unknown reason and we had decided to use the time to orchestrate our plan.

"Here," I told her, stopping in front of the specific bathroom Sirius had described. A girl's bathroom. It was _so_ Sirius. I almost wanted to laugh.

Marlene blinked at me, as we silently crept up the stairs. "But isn't that...-''

"Moaning Myrtle's bathroom," Lily said nodding along. She stared at the door ahead of us with uncertainty. "I suppose they thought we wouldn't be overheard there?"

"They'd be right, then," I said, nodding them forward.

It was sort of genius. No girl in Hogwarts had been in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom for years. Even first years knew better. It was worth the walk up to the third-floor to not have some wailing at you when while you were trying to pee. The only other time I had ever been in there, Myrtle had spent fifteen minutes telling me about how she had stalked Olive Hornby at her wedding, the birth of her first child, and at every major meeting she had at the ministry.

No one was going to risk that. It was the perfect spot to be plot without fear of being overheard.

"It's now or never, I suppose," Lily said, and pushed open the bathroom door with a heavy sigh.

The bathroom floor was covered in a thin layer of water, probably left over from a flooding the night before, and we splashed through it as we crossed further into the room.

Marlene lifted the edges of her robes immediately wrinkling her nose as she did. "Ew," she said looking down at the ground with disgust.

"It's only a bit of water, Marlene," James said quickly, hanging off the edge of one of the stalls.

The Marauders were already there, waiting for us. Remus and Peter leaned against the sinks, and Sirius was sitting high in the window sill. He looked up lazily to acknowledge us when we entered.

"It's _bathroom_ water, James," Marlene reminded him. James rolled his eyes and flicked his wand casually, " _Evanseco,_ "

The water disappeared immediately, leaving the stone floor bone dry. Marlene smiled back at him, and dropped her robes with a triumphant smile. "Thank you, James."

James nodded, though his eyes seemed to be trained on Lily instead. She was pretending not to notice, and had flitted over to say hello to Remus.

"I still can't believe you three are doing something like this," Remus said shaking his head disapprovingly. Lily gave him a look that suggested she agreed, but kept her mouth closed. Probably afraid Marlene would say something if she didn't.

"Well now that the gang's all here," Sirius said, jumping causally down onto the floor, sticking the landing perfectly. "Should we get started on the take down?"

Lily and Remus both rolled their eyes and James and Sirius exchanged a quick slap of appreciation. They already looked far too thrilled about it. Maybe Lily was right.

When I had first brought the idea up to them yesterday, they had been overjoyed at the idea. James especially. He swore he'd do anything we asked if it meant Lily would be involved. Especially in something like this. They were the ones who had already been planning. They had only spent an hour in their dormitory before Sirius had come flitting down the stairs telling me we had to meet here.

"Take down?" I asked Sirius as I leaned back against the sink. It didn't seem like the right word for what we were doing. We wanted to make Mulciber _pay._

"Do you have better word for it?" Sirius asked me, watching me with a raised eyebrow. "I thought about using Macdonald vs. Slytherin Revenge Plot, but Prongs said it was a little wordy."

"Just a bit," James assured him, clapping him on the shoulder. "We needed something snappier."

"Well in that case," I said shaking my head, a small chuckle escaping my lips. Sirius beamed back at me.

"I like the name," Peter added extemporaneously. Marlene eyed him like he was a rodent, and I had to stop myself from laughing at the irony of that.

Lily was the only one who seemed to be focusing at all. She let out a tiny sigh and then headed straight for the door, her wand raised.

"Leaving already, Evans?" James demanded. He tried to keep his mask of bravado but I thought he still looked a little crestfallen at the possibility. "We haven't even gotten started, yet."

"I'm not leaving," Lily said firmly, keeping her back to him and raising her wand. "If we're going to do this, we have to take some precautions. I'm casting a silencing charm on the room so no one walking by can hear us. _Muffliato!_ "

"Oh, good idea," Remus told her nodding. "Maybe try a detection charm too? It'll tell us if someone's coming."

"No one's coming," Sirius said shaking his head at their foolishness "We're in hear all the time and not once as anyone ever come in. You know that, Moony."

"It doesn't hurt to try," Remus told him, blushing slightly. He actually seemed embarrassed about being so sensible and thorough. I guess around the other Marauders that was something to be shy about. Strange as it may be.

"Hold on," I said, looking at Sirius, as something slowly clicked in my head. "How much time do you spend in a _girl's_ lavatory?"

There was a collective chuckle between the four of them, and Sirius smirked at me. It was clear this was not their first time here.

James grinned. "Don't ask questions you don't want the answer too, Doe."

He and Sirius exchanged another sly smile, and then James vision drifted back to where Lily was casting another detection charm.

"Merlin," he swore, "you're really afraid of breaking the rules aren't you, Lily-pad?"

Lily frowned at the nickname. "I am a _prefect_ , Potter," she said crossing her arms, "I don't want to get caught just because you're lackadaisical about punishment."

"You think I'm not taking this seriously?" James demanded of her, his glasses sliding down his nose as he tilted his head at her.

"That's exactly what I think," Lily told him, frowning. "You don't exactly have an excellent track record when it comes to this type of thing."

Sirius rolled his eyes and gave me a pointed look, that I ignored. He often judged Lily on how irritated she got with James. Something that I didn't think was very fair considering how much James put her through.

Every single person in the castle _adored_ Lily. It was only around James, that she became grumpy or irritable.

"Alright, _alright_ ," Marlene said, diffusing the tension, "Let's all remember why we're here, for _Mary_."

James and Lily both stopped glaring at one another to look at Mary. A trace amount of guilt on their features. They were bickering when we had bigger things to do. More important things.

"She's right," I told him, nodding carefully. "We have to focus on getting them back."

The boys exchanged a look among them, sly smiles stretching across their mouths.

"We have a bunch of ideas," Peter said quickly, "Like dungbombs in their robes or maybe release snakes in the Common Room. Ooh! Or maybe Peeves could do something for us."

Lily, Marlene and I exchanged a quick look, our discontentment written on our face. This wasn't small, what Mulciber and Elizabeth did. The punishment had to fit the crime.

"We need to do something big to get them back," I told the four of them. "Not dungbombs or silly pranks. We need to do something serious. Something that makes them think twice before they hurt someone based on blood status."

It was quiet for a minute. The Marauders stared back at me, studying me and my reaction.

"I've never liked you more, Meadowes," Sirius said carefully, nodding evenly. Lily looked from him to me with a raised eyebrow, that I pointedly ignored. She always had a hard time understanding Sirius and I's relationship.

"So," James said evenly. "It's time to plan then. Does anyone have any ideas?"

Everyone in the room looked around, wracking their brain as they thought. It had to be something that would make the Slytherins take notice. And Slytherins only responded to fear. They needed to be _scared_.

"Isn't that supposed to be your area of expertise?" Marlene asked them. "Don't you thrive on mischief and rule-breaking?"

"Thrive is a strong word," Remus said quietly.

"We do," James said, talking over him. "And if you want us to decide, then we will. But something tells me you three should be the ones with final say. Mary is your friend."

All I could think of was Mary. Lying in the Hospital bed, arms bandaged and terrified. All because she was a muggleborn. That terrified them; muggleborns. And they're dirty blood.

That was it.

"Blood," I said quickly, the idea growing larger and larger before me. "That's what scares them most. Muggleborns and their 'dirty' blood. That's how we get them."

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "What are you suggesting? We fill their Common Room with blood?"

I nodded eagerly. "Exactly. We could get it from one of those giant leeches in the black lake. One of those things is like the size of a Labrador, it could easily fill a pail with blood, and we could double the rest. The Slytherins won't know what it's from, and it will terrify them."

The others stared back at me like I had three heads. Peter's mouth actually hung open in utter shock.

"Are you _mad?_ " he asked, his face red and confused. "You must be mad."

"No, Wormtail," James said shaking his head at his plump friend. 'She's right, it's brilliant. They don't respond to things like we do. They fear death, and injury. Blood is the perfect thing to shake them to the core."

Sirius nodded. "Trust me, it'll work. Slytherins are spineless."

Marlene shuddered, "It's just _so_ gross. But if it makes them stop, I suppose it's worth it."

Lily was staring at the wall in front of her, her eyes glazed slightly, like she was deep in thought. After a moment, she gave a quick nod. "We should post pictures of famous Muggleborns too," she said carefully. "Really throw it in their face that all of this blood status talk means nothing. That muggleborns are just as talented as they are."

It was perfect. Lily had found the perfect counter balance to the blood. It would terrify and enrage them. It would confront their bigotry head on.

"That's absolutely genius," Remus told her, proudly. "How did you come up with that?"

Lily smiled. "It was the Slytherins who gave me the idea actually. When they posted those stupid fliers about me. I figured this way, we could give them a taste of their own medicine."

"Brilliant, Lils," I said shaking my head in astonishment.

I didn't understand how someone who could be so against breaking the rules could be so good at it. Turns out, Lily had a touch a mischievous streak in her. She smiled back at me, pointedly ignoring the look of pure astonishment James was flashing at her. It seemed as if she had genuinely enjoyed being able to contribute to the plan.

"You know, "James said quietly, looking at Lily with more admiration that I'd ever seen. "I may have judged you prefects too hard, Evans."

"Thank you," Lily told him, offering him a smile. A _real_ smile. I was floored.

James grinned, and the seven of us sat down and hashed out the plan.

We needed to figure out several things. When we would do it, where we would get the supplies and how we would avoid getting caught. What we were doing was going to be breaking about seven school rules. Not that that seemed to be deterring anyone in the room. Even Lily and Remus seemed to be abandoning their Prefect principles to join in on it. I assumed this was because it was for Mary. She really had been innocent in the whole thing.

The part I had thought would be the most difficult was actually getting into Slytherin Common Room, but the four of them assured us that would be the easiest part of the plan.

"We've done that loads of times," James said shaking his head with laughter when Marlene brought it up. "The really tricky part will be making sure we have alibis. That's going to take some orchestrating."

"Isn't it hidden though?" Lily asked. "There so secretive about it. I mean I know it's somewhere in the Dungeons, but Sev hasn't even told me anything else about it."

"Seems Snivellus doesn't trust you very much, does he?" James asked wiggling his eyebrows. Lily rolled her eyes. "How _did_ you find out where it was?" she asked, a thin red eyebrow raised at him, her curiosity overpowering her indifference towards James.

"Trade secret, sorry Evans," James told her, a cocky grin stretching across his face. "Of course, I _could_ tell you, over a butterbeer at Hogsmeade perhaps?"

"Hogsmeade isn't even open to us right now," Lily reminded him flatly.

James only grinned harder. "That's not a no."

"That's not a yes, either, Potter."

"Don't worry, I'll wear you down," James told her happily, stroking the side of her cheek with quick fingers before she could swat him away.

Lily looked thoroughly irritated but I could swear I saw the slightest ghost of a blush linger on her cheek where he had touched her.

"We've known about it since second year," Peter offered up, attempting to break up the brewing tension between Lily and James. Sirius actually looked disappointed at that.

"Thanks to me," Sirius said proudly. "and Zinnia Flint's absolute fascination with me." He leaned back against the wall, a confident grin plastered on his face at the memory of one of his conquests. I had to resist the urge to give him a good kick in the shin.

"You know, you're actually foul," Marlene told him thinking along the same lines. "You make me look like the Virgin Mary."

Sirius snorted, "Don't be silly, Marlene. I could _never_ do that. Like me, you have a reputation forged into the stone walls of this castle."

Marlene narrowed her eyes at him for a moment and then tossed her hair over her shoulder confidently. "You're just jealous."

"Can we focus please?" Remus pressed, quill in hand "I'd really rather make sure that this plan is right. I don't fancy ending up in detention until Seventh year." He had been dutifully writing down every part of the plan so far, and looked exasperated at the idea of another row brewing between the eight of us.

'Right. Sorry Lupin," Marlene said and nodded along.

It was another half hour before we had most of the details hashed out. It had seemed like it would be impossible to pull off until James unearthed something from his robes pocket that quieted me and my dorm mates immediately.

The folded stack of fabric appeared to be a simple dark, velvet cloak, until it was unwrapped. James shook it out and let it flow onto the ground in a slow, gliding motion, making the fabric float effortlessly. Once he did, it was silvery and beautiful. More beautiful than any other cloak I had ever seen. It took a few seconds for me to understand what it was.

"You have an invisibility cloak?" Lily whispered, her fingers reaching out unthinkingly to stroke the soft fabric. Her face was twisted with amazement I had only seen her have when Flourish and Blotts had the yearly summer sale. James looked thrilled he had managed to impress her, and wiggled his eyebrows confidently, his eyes locked on my best friend.

"Never thought you'd be so willing to touch something of mine, Evans," he replied cheekily, eyeing her under his glasses.

"I wouldn't get _too_ excited, Potter," Lily said, running her hand over the soft fabric, like it was a precious creature. "It's unlikely to ever happen again."

Sirius sighed and clapped his black-haired friend on the back. "Rotten luck, Prongs." James ignored him, staring at Lily as she played with the cloak in absolute astonishment. It looked as if he was actually excited to just to watch her become excited. I couldn't help but think about how pure that was. Sirius caught sight of the dopey look on his best friends face and rolled his eyes, flashing me a look that suggested he wanted to vomit. I cracked a smile.

"No wonder you four have been able to get away with murder," Marlene said shaking her head as she stared at the invisibility cloak, "One of these definitely comes in handy when you're pranking everyone in sight."

She was right. Suddenly everything made so much sense. I never understood how the Marauders were able to get away with so much without being caught. Like on April Fools. I felt a cold, unnerving feeling run through my chest thinking about how many times they had been under it without our knowledge.

"It is really amazing," I said, watching it in awe. It was exactly what we needed to pull off something like this. James had just made sure this was possible. "There rare, aren't they?"

James nodded, "You're lucky we're even showing It to you, birds," he said taking it back carefully from Lily. "It's a real waste that you know about it, but I doubt we'd be able to pull of something like this without it."

Lily pursed her lips at him. 'Why? Because now you can't use it to pull things over on _us?_ "

James grinned, looking pleased she was on the same page as they were. "Exactly, Evans. So, astute, as usual."

Lily rolled her eyes, and busied herself with helping Remus make a list of supplies, doing her best to avoid the puppy-look James kept flashing her. After that, we all focused, doing our best to make sure we had covered every basis, and assigned everyone a proper job. By the time we finished everything, we were almost late to Potions.

"So, we meet back her tomorrow," James reminded everyone as we gathered and hid all of the notes we had drawn up. "You all know what you need to bring."

Things were moving fast. We had planned on executing the plan tomorrow night, and everyone still seemed a little unsure about it. But I knew we needed to move fast and we would have to put our faith in the Marauders. If they knew how to do anything well, it was mischief.

The rest of the day disappeared before us. It was hard to focus on anything when we knew what we were planning to do the next night. Lily in particular seemed to be having the most difficulty with it. She spent half of our double potions lesson glaring at Mulciber and Elizabeth from her seat beside Severus. It seemed as if she was reigniting the fire of rage inside of her. Like if she looked at both of them, and remembered why she hated them, breaking the rules would be easier for her.

We didn't see much over her after that. She disappeared after dinner with Remus to the library to find the famous Muggleborns they wanted to plaster all over the Slytherin Common Room walls. They had come up with a good cover too, studying for the O.W.L.s. Anyone who knew Lily or Remus wouldn't think it odd at all. In fact, it was probably what they should be doing anyway. They wouldn't look evenly slightly out of place, buried between the stacks of books in the library.

James, Sirius and Peter were up in their dormitory putting the finishing touches on something they wouldn't tell us about, but assured us would be extremely helpful. All we had seen about it, was the three of them clustered around a fraying piece of parchment.

Marlene complained, saying she didn't know what a ruddy bit of parchment was going to be able to help us with, but it peaked my curiosity a little. Was this the same ruddy bit of parchment they had been chasing in the Forbidden Forest on Halloween? If it was, it was clearly important.

As for Marlene, and I. We were taxed with one of the more disgusting bits of the plan. Not that I could complain. It had been _my_ idea.

Still, that didn't lessen the disgust I felt, as I climbed into the shallow banks of the Black Lake on Friday night. Dinner had just ended and the sun was barely starting to set. Leaving the grounds still somewhat visible.

I borrowed Lily's pair of yellow wellington boots, and slowly trampled through the murky water, my wand drawn and ready for any appearance of the creatures we sought out.

"I would just like to remind you how absolutely absurd you look right now," Marlene called from the edge of the lake. She was sitting cross legged on the bank, a thick fuzzy jacket wrapped around her, watching in horror as I padded down the lake. She had firmly refused to set even a foot in the lake.

I had to admit, it was pretty terrible. The water was too dark to see anything in front of me and it didn't help that the air outside was still pretty chilly. Wasn't it supposed to be spring already? Why was it so cold still?

"It's for Mary," I reminded her, trying to hide how gruesome I found the activity as I moved forward through the water hesitantly. In my hand, I clutched the tiny vial of toad's blood I had nicked from Slughorn's stores during Potions earlier in the day. One quick scan through _Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them_ taught me everything I needed to know. All I had to do was crack the vile, douse my hand in the blood and bravely plunge it into the murky water. After that the giant leeches would find me. Supposedly. But I was still a little hesitant.

"You don't think there are sharks in here, do you?" I asked Marlene quickly. _Hogwarts, A History_ had mentioned all kinds of creatures that resided in the lake, like Merpeople and grindylows, but none of them had mentioned sharks. I knew enough from the orphanage's summer trips to the sea, that plunging a bloody hand into shark infested waters wasn't a good idea.

"Sharks?" Marlene asked, confusion crossing her face, "What in Merlin's name is a _shark?_ "

I had to resist the urge to laugh at her, biting my bottom lip as hard as I could to keep the sound from coming out. Nothing entertained me more than Marlene's honest confusion at Muggle things. Two years of Muggle Studies seemed to have had no effect on her knowledge of muggles. I supposed I wouldn't know half as much as I did if it hadn't been for the Orphanage. If my parents were still alive, I'd probably be just as blissfully ignorant as she was.

"Sharks are a sort of an underwater creature," I told her "like really big fish with lots of teeth."

I only knew so much about them because the movie _Jaws_ had just come out during the summer, and every single child in the orphanage had begged Mrs. Churchmire to go over and over again.

"They sound silly," Marlene pointed out eyeing the water hesitantly. "Probably a good question for Hagrid though. Remind me again, why you didn't ask him to help you with this? Aren't you two close?"

I frowned, scrunching up my nose a little as I cracked the vile of blood over my hand. It dripped ominously over my fingers and looked like I had been involved in some kind of accident. It turned my stomach to see it like that.

"I figured the less people who knew about this, the better," I said, bravely shoving my hand into the water. Marlene shuddered from several feet away.

The water was cold, and far too murky for me to even see the outline of my hand under the surface of the water. I felt a little stupid for a moment, letting it dangle in the lake, while Marlene watched with mild discomfort. I clutched my wand tightly in my right hand, ready to use it if anything unfriendly came swimming by.

I looked at it carefully while I waited. I'd always liked my wand. 11 ½ inches of vine wood, with a unicorn tail hair core. It was decorated with a black, spindly vine, that wrapped around the entire base, with tiny, almost imperceptible leaves scattered across it.

I wondered idly how long I'd have to stand there, kneeling over the frigid water, when I felt something swim past my legs. I shifted, and Marlene watched with a raised eyebrow as something latched down onto my hand. I bit my lip and waited until I felt the creature break the skin, before I yanked my hand upward, lifting both into the surface of the air.

"Ew, ew, ew!" Marlene cried, bringing her knees to her chest as she squeezed her eyes closed in discomfort.

The leech was the size of a schnauzer and let out a tiny screech when it hit the air. The creature was almost amorphous. It's body was black as night and covered in a kind of strange slime. It stayed firmly planted on my hand as it thrashed about it the air, making a strange breathy noise. I struggled with it for a moment, trying not to fall backward into the lake.

" _Petrificus totales!"_ I shouted, pointed my wand at the struggling creature and casting the body-bind spell. Instantly, it's body went slack as the curse bounded over it, binding it carefully.

I took the opportunity to yank it off of my hand and shove it into the burlap bag I carried on my shoulder. Its sucker left a nasty red mark the size of a galleon on the back of my hand.

I carefully trudged back through the lake towards the bank, pocketing my wand in one of my wellies, and using both my hands to keep the bag on my shoulder closed. I had no idea how long a body bind curse would work on a dog-sized leech, and didn't relishing the idea of chasing the thing up and down the castle.

"That was bloody disgusting," Marlene said covering her nose and mouth with the back of her hand as I approached.

"Well let's hope it's good and _bloody_ ," I said with a smile, as we headed back towards the castle. "I don't fancy doing _that_ again."

"Don't blame you for that," Marlene said shaking her head in disgust as she looked at the burlap sack. "You must really care for Mary."

"You know I do."

We walked quickly as we made our way back to the castle, trying not to draw too much attention to ourselves as we headed back inside. It wasn't exactly prime weather to be outside, and we didn't want anyone to wonder why we had been out there.

We had just made it to the marble staircase when we almost barreled straight into Gideon and Fabian Prewett, talking earnestly with one another. Gideon was still dressed in his school robes, but Fabian was wearing his Quidditch clothes.

Right. I had forgotten the Gryffindor team was practicing tonight. Sirius had told me that earlier in the day. I said a silent prayer to myself, hoping none of them had flown high enough to see the lake, or what we were doing that. Hopefully, James and Sirius had had enough fore thought to prevent that.

Gideon smiled when he saw me, stopping his brother from walking past. Fabian looked like he was chuckling at something I didn't quite understand. He leaned against one of the banisters of the stairs, watching his twin with an unprecedented amount of entertainment.

"Hey, Doe!" Gideon said brightly, his blue eyes crinkling. "Had a good evening, did ya?"

If it had been any other time. I probably would have loved that he had taken the time to stop and talk to me, but I felt the urgency of the situation rearing its ugly head.

I could already see the amusement on Marlene's features, as she watched me. I knew she was wondering if I was going to make a fool of myself in front of Gideon like I always did.

"It's been good," I said, smiling back. I tried to keep my voice even, and calm. "How was yours?"

"Excellent," Gideon said, his wide smile showing off his very white, even teeth. It was a great smile. The kind you wanted to keep looking at. "I just watched Fabian get his arse reamed out by Landon McKinnon, very entertaining. You'd have loved it."

Fabian rolled his eyes. "Hardly. It's not my fault that Landon has his head shoved up his head so far he can hardly see the snitch."

Fabian's eyes fell on Marlene, "Oops. Sorry McKinnon," he said quickly seemingly just remembering that Landon was her brother. Marlene waved him off, unconcerned. She had said far worse before breakfast.

"Sounds fun," I told Gideon, very aware of just how well his Gryffindor sweater seemed to fit over his muscled chest.

On my shoulder, the bag started to twitch slightly, and all of the color drained from my face. The spell on the leech was starting to wear off. It twitched violently again and I had to grip the bag tighter on my shoulder. Marlene noticed, her eyes widening uncomfortably beside me.

"Everything alright?" Gideon asked again, his eyes drifting from the wellington boots on my feet, to the bag on my shoulder. "Should I even ask what's in there?" he said nodding at the bag.

It had just given another lurch that almost ripped it from my shoulder.

"I wouldn't," I told him, clutching it tighter, to keep it from moving. The very last thing any of us needed was to involve more people in what we were doing. Although I couldn't help but wish I could tell Gideon. If anyone knew anything about dealing with a magical creature, it would be him. He would no doubt be a tremendous help with what we were about to do.

"We should go and visit Mary," Marlene said pointedly, her eyes locked on mine as she forged our excuse. "Before the Hospital Wing closes."

"Right," I told her nodding, and doing my best to calm the bag. It had taken to thrashing on my shoulder. "See you around, Gideon. Fabian."

Marlene and I gave the twins a quick wave goodbye and then took the stairs two at a time as we headed back up.

Gideon and Fabian watched us with a mild confusion as we disappeared around the corner of the corridor. I was almost positive I heard Fabian whisper "odd birds" before we had fully disappeared. I did my best not to think about that as I headed for Moaning Mrytle's bathroom.

What I was doing was too important to worry about whether or not Gideon Prewett thought I was strange. Even if it did make me slightly disappointed.

"So, you're okay, then?" Marlene asked me quickly, once we headed for the door. "You and the others can handle this part?"

She was looking at the bag on my shoulder like it might make her vomit. She wouldn't be very much help here. I gave her a quick nod, "Yeah. Go and help Lily and Remus." Marlene gave me a grateful look and disappeared back towards the direction of the Common Room.

I made sure no one was looking before I pushed open the door to the girl's lavatory, my bag thrashing back and forth as I did.

There was chatter in the room as I entered. James and Sirius were sitting lazily on the floor, wearing their Quidditch clothes. Both of them were covered in several grimy layers of sweat and dirt that looked like it had been caked on. Peter sat a few feet away from them, listening to them retell every minute of practice with a gooey, lovey look plastered on his round face. He always looked at them like they were gods.

"Finally, Meadowes," Sirius said, looking up from his conversation with James. "Where have you been? And where's Marlene?"

I rolled my eyes and took a seat down on the floor, in front of the large silver bucket that had been laid out.

"It took quite a while to wrestle this out of the lake," I reminded them, unearthing the leech from the bag. It seemed to be spitting at us now. Peter jumped back three feet when he saw it, causing James to laugh mercilessly. "It freaked Marlene out too much, so she went to help Lily and Remus."

I took out my wand and cast another body bind curse. The leech stopped thrashing and remained immobile once again.

"Marlene pretending to study?" James snorted, looking amused. "We might as well just tell the entire Common Room what we're doing."

"Don't be mean," I warned him, readying the leech over the silver bucket. "Marlene can be very astute when she want's too."

James gave me a knowing look. "Come on, Doe. I've known Marlene years longer than you. She's pretty and cool alright, but that bird has a head full of fluff."

"I don't think that's true."

In fact, I thought it was a little rich coming from someone who was friends with Peter Pettigrew. _He_ barely knew which end of his wand to hold. Sure, Marlene had always valued her social and romantic connections above anything we learned in class, but she was not stupid. Sometimes she even had strokes of pure genius.

I pulled out my battered copy of Fantastic Beasts and left it open beside me as I studied up on the proper way to milk the leech of the blood it was holding onto.

"You sure you know what you're doing, darling?" Sirius asked me, as I grasped the leech round the middle, not taking my eyes off the page in the book.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "How much experience do _you_ have with milking leeches, Sirius?" I asked, doing my best to keep the thing from wriggling in my arms. "If you'd prefer to take over, by all means, go ahead."

I gave the leech a good squeeze and a copious amount of blood came squirting out of the hole in the front of its face, splattering into the pail beneath him.

"Brilliant," James said his eyes locked on it.

"No thanks," Sirius said, shaking his head as he watched the leech exit more blood. "I'll leave this to your capable hands." He winked at me, flashing one of his classic Sirius grins. I responded by giving the leech another fat squeeze. Peter could hardly handle it, and disappeared into one of the stalls to vomit. Sirius laughed as the corners of my mouth turned upward into a smile. Peter was so woefully useless sometimes.

It was another half hour before the leech finally gave us enough blood to fill the pail. When it had finished, Sirius and I managed to wrangle it into one of the empty toilets and flush it back to the Black Lake.

"And you're absolutely positive no one will find this?" I asked Sirius, as we stashed the pail of blood in one of the stalls, behind a broken toilet. We needed to keep it safe. Tomorrow, in the Slytherin Common Room, we'd use the doubling charm to fill the entire floor with it, but we couldn't do that unless we had this one. I didn't fancy having to find another leech.

Sirius rolled his eyes at me. "If you keep worrying like this, you're going to look fifty by the time you're thirty," he said pointing one of his long-tanned fingers between my eyes. "And then you won't be able to use that face of yours to get out of trouble, and I'll definitely be the most attractive person in this friendship."

I snorted, letting a tiny laugh escape my mouth. "When do I ever try to flirt my way out of trouble? I think you might be confusing me with you."

"She has you there, Padfoot," James pointed out, shaking the invisibility cloak out with one quick movement.

Sirius placed a hand over his heart and wiggled his eyebrows happily. "Does that mean you two think I'm pretty?" he gave a casual flip of his hair that reminded me of Marlene. "I'm downright _flattered._ "

" _I_ happen to think you're _very_ handsome," a high-pitched voice called ominously from one of the closed stalls.

The four of us spun on our heels and turned to watch as the slippery, translucent frame of Moaning Myrtle float up from the stall and stopped in front of us. She was looking directly at Sirius and twirling one of her ponytails in her hand as she looked at him, doe-eyed. I let out a breath of relief, glad it was just her and not someone who could ruin our plan. A new annoyance filled me as I realized that we now had Myrtle to contend with.

"Hello, _Sirius,_ " she said, her voice turning into a purr as she did. "Come to visit me again, have you?"

"Of course, Myrtle," Sirius said smoothly, his voice turning to velvet. The way it always did when he was flirting with someone. His eyes softened and his smile spread into an attractive grin. Even though I knew him well enough to be unaffected by _those_ grins, I had to admit he was damn good at them. "You know I like to pop in every now and then."

Myrtle let out a high-pitched giggle as she flew around the room. If there was any color left in her dead face, I knew she'd be blushing.

So that was how they were able to come in here so often. They flirted with Myrtle. It was genius. All they had to do was flash her a couple of those Marauders smiles, and her attention-starved translucent self would do anything they asked. I shook my head, _boys._

"Hello James," she said floating right by James' left shoulder. She beamed at him too, but with slightly less longing than when she looked back to Sirius.

"You've brought a girl with you," Myrtle said evenly, her expression changing as she eyed me apprehensively.

"Hi, Myrtle," I said, trying to sound as polite as I could. "I'm Doe."

I offered her a smile, and she frowned back at me. Her dislike and annoyance written plainly on her face.

"I know who _you_ are," she snapped at me, her tiny mouth turning down into a snarl. "You hang around with that other blonde girl. The one with the long legs and short skirts. The _mean_ one with all the siblings."

I blinked slowly at Myrtle as she glared at me. She hovered right by Sirius watching him out of the corners of her eyes.

"You don't mean... Marlene?" I asked her, shocked that anyone could find Marlene even remotely mean. People usually adored Marlene. You either wanted to marry her or be her. We called in the McKinnon Effect in our dormitory.

Myrtle let out an irritable yell and spun around the room faster. "Mar- _lene_ ," she snapped, breaking her name into two. "She's exactly like all of the others. Like Olive Hornby. Pretty girls are always the _meanest_ ," She floated right beside me, standing so close I thought she might float through me.

I had no idea what to say. I had a sinking suspicion that whatever I said would only enrage her more.

"I don't think that's-" Myrtle cut me off mid-sentence.

"I suppose you're mean _too_ ," she said surveying my face, "with hair and eyes like that. Olive Hornby had big blue eyes too. She loved bringing that up! Reminding me that ugly glasses like mine would hide her eyes!"

She let out a loud wail and shot upward towards the roof. Her cries soon filled the entire room.

"Aw come on, Myrtle," Sirius purred softly, turning on the charm for the ghost. "No one here wants to be mean to you. Doe's nice, honest, even if she is good-looking. We wouldn't have let her in otherwise."

It was strange to hear Sirius refer to my physical appearance in a complimentary way without the usual insinuation or cheek after it. Something in my chest fluttered at the mention of it, for a reason I didn't quite understand.

Myrtle sniffed softly and floated back down to look at Sirius again, her eyes filled once again with desperate longing as her mouth turned into a thin smile.

"You promise?" she sniffed, wiping at her eyes. From her other side, James gave a hearty nod.

"Course, Myrty. Have we ever lied to you?" he pressed. Myrtle shook her head at them and giggled.

That seemed to calm her. She threw one more lofty look in my direction and then turned back to Sirius, twirling her ponytail once more.

"Listen, Myrtle," Sirius said firmly. "We've left something in here we don't want anyone to find, alright? Can you make sure no one goes into that stall over there?"

Myrtle followed his gaze and gave a triumphant nod. "So, you're coming back then?" she asked excitedly, hope rising in her eyes.

Sirius nodded. "Tomorrow,' he said and added a wink. Myrtle giggled again.

I wanted to roll my eyes. Of course, Sirius could even charm a ghost. I reminded myself to tear the mickey out of him later for it

"We should be going, but we'll see you tomorrow," James said and stretched out the Invisibility cloak. Myrtle watched them waving and giggling as the four of us clambered under the cloak.

I watched in absolute disbelief as our bodies disappeared from view the moment we crawled underneath it. It was absolutely brilliant.

"Cool, isn't it?" Sirius asked as Peter, finally scampered underneath it.

"There are no words," I told him shaking my head.

It was a tight squeeze with four of us under the cloak. James assured me that three fit no problem, but when four people were under it, someone's feet always ended up showing. Since, it was after curfew, there was no one to witness James' feet.

We made it all the way back to Gryffindor tower, almost completely invisible.

It had renewed my confidence in our plan. If we had this cloak, we'd be able to pull this off.

* * *

We made sure to visit Mary in the Hospital Wing first. After all, the entire reason we were doing this was for her. It was late afternoon on Saturday. Julie and Landon had finally left her bedside, and the three of us were curled up around her, watching as she snacked on some leftover Cauldron Cakes that Julie had brought her.

We only had about an hour. We had decided yesterday that the only way to pull this off was at dinner. It was the only time that all of Slytherin would be in the Great Hall and free of their Common Room. We'd have to work fast too. We managed that we'd only have about a half hour before people started trickling back in. We had spent half the night yesterday working out a way to make sure we'd all have alibis. We all had a job to do. One's we were committed too.

"So you're not going to tell me where you lot have been the last few days?" Mary asked us, sitting up with her eyebrows raised accusingly. Her arms were still bandaged, but seemed to be healing nicely. It still pained me too even look at the bandages. Lily seemed to be actively avoiding looking at them too. They were painful reminders of what Mary had been through already.

The silver lining was that Mary was in good spirits. It was the only thing that made us feel even slightly better.

"Just around," Marlene lied quickly, so convincingly _I_ almost believed her. "Lily's been a tyrant about trying to get us to study for O. . You know how she is." She cast a very specific smile at Lily.

Lily looked like she wanted to disagree for a moment, but then remembered why Marlene was lying and gave a convincing little nod, her face lit up with enthusiasm.

"I mean we have to start studying soon," she added effortlessly, "they're right around the corner."

Mary looked unconvinced and scanned my face for any sign of hesitation. She knew I was the one who usually broke first. I offered her a smile and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Don't worry, Mare," I told her, beaming at her. "I'm sure the moment you're out of this bed Lily'll shoved a Transfiguration textbook into your arms."

"Oh _goody_ ," Mary said, twirling her fringe out of her eyes unenthusiastically. "You guys are really excellent at motivating me to get out of here, you know that?"

She said it jokingly but it was clear in her eyes that Mary was desperate to get out of the Hospital Wing. I didn't blame her. She had already been in here for almost two weeks. Even I was sick of looking at these same four walls.

"Something tells me you'll be dying to get out this bed, very soon," Marlene said, catching my eyes carefully. Lily flashed her a warning look and Marlene turned back to Mary very casually.

"Plus," she said, lifting one of Mary's bandaged hands. "You're in desperate need of some new nail polish."

"Well in _that_ case," Mary said as she rolled her eyes. The rest of us joined in her laughter as Marlene pulled out a bottle of thick red polish and went to her work on her nails.

"That's a pretty color," Mary said happily, watching Marlene spread it slowly across each one of her nails.

"Thanks," Marlene said happily. She made a point of looking to me and Lily. "It's called _Blood_ Red."

The irony was not lost on Lily or I. Lily smiled softly as she twirled her wand through her fingers. And I beamed.

"I think it's perfect," I told her quietly.

We only stayed another hour. It was nice being with Mary, and we would have loved to stay even longer, but we had to wait for the moment. The perfect moment. The one James and Sirius had ensured. The closer it got, the more Marlene started to look the heavy golden watch situated on her wrist.

Lily tried to be discreet too, but her eyes kept flying to the clock hung on the wall by Madam Pompfrey's office. We could hear her in there, organizing something while she hummed in a soft voice.

Lily and Marlene were starting to look nervous. I tried to make sure they kept calm and waited for the moment. We had to wait. For Remus.

It had all been prearranged yesterday. If we were going to get away with this, we would all need alibi's. Surely, once the Slytherins got back to their Common Room and found it mutilated with blood and fliers, they'd send for Slughorn. It wouldn't be lost on anyone that we wouldn't be there. We need iron-clad alibis for not being at dinner.

Ours were simple. We would be 'staying with Mary in the Hospital Wing'. The boys would be causing trouble half-way across the castle. The only trouble was making sure that Madam Pompfrey wasn't in the Hospital Wing and Filch was in the corridor with the boys. They had to be able to vouch for us. That's where Remus and James came in.

It was only a minute till when Remus came bursting through the door, a frenzied look on his face. He had barely made it. Dinner had just started.

Marlene, Lily and I exchanged a quick look of appreciation.

"Madam Pompfrey!" Remus called frantically, giving a wonderful performance. His frantic anxiety actually looked real. "Madam Pompfrey please we need your help!"

Madam Pompfrey burst through the door of her office, clutching at her bonnet. She always took student injuries seriously, especially when it came to someone like Remus. He was a prefect after all.

Marlene let out a loud, dramatic cough, ensuring Madam Pompfrey looked at us for a fraction of a second, solidifying our alibi. When she turned back to Remus, Marlene winked at Lily and I.

"Please, Madam Pompfrey," Remus repeated, sounding even more desperate this time. "It's Peter Pettigrew! He's tried a weight-loss spell and I think it's backfired, he's screaming in the astronomy tower!"

Madam Pompfrey clutched at her chest. "Good Heavens! What is it with that boy?" she said shaking her head. "Has he no sense?"

Remus made a pleading face. "Please, Madam. He's in pain."

Madam Pompfrey gave him a curt nod and ushered out of the Hospital Wing behind us, giving a quick wink before he rounded the corner. The moment the door was closed, Marlene and I got to our feet.

"Come on," Marlene said, getting to her feet and drawing her wand..

"Are you lot going off to dinner?" Mary asked, slightly confused.

Lily shook her head, "I'm not. I think I'll stay and keep you company."

It was what we had decided the day before. Lily and Remus were prefects. No one wanted to risk them losing their badges, so we had found a way to keep them out of the Slytherin Common Room. Lily had already done her part by making the fliers. She had shoved them roughly into my bag this morning. I readjusted my bag on my shoulder, peeking slightly to make sure they were still in there. The stack of cream colored fliers were tucked safely between my Transfiguration and Divination textbooks.

Mary looked thrilled at the idea of having company, so Marlene and I ducked out the room without another word. We had to make it to the Dungeons without attracting notice.

It was difficult not to break out into a run. Marlene and I did our best to walk evenly and keep up with the flow of the other students heading for the Great Hall. We had to go unnoticed. That was crucial.

"This is kind of fun, huh?" Marlene whispered to me, as we walked a few feet behind a group of third year Hufflepuffs. She was doing her best to inconspicuous, but I could see the smile breaking through the corners of her mouth. Of course, Marlene would relish in this.

Her smile was infectious and I offered her a matching one.

"It'll be even more fun when we finish it," I told her. She beamed.

We walked slowly behind the last group of people in the hallway, making sure no one was watching us. The moment it was clear, we broke out for a run across the Entrance Hall, heading down the stairs toward the Dungeons.

It was dark down here, and I lit my wand to give us a little bit of view. I hoped desperately that all of the Slytherins were already in the Great Hall. If we ran into one of them down here, it would definitely end very badly for us.

We followed James and Sirius vague instructions of where their Common Room was, making two turns past the potions classroom and stopping before we got to the portrait of the two-headed snake. We made sure to stop a few feet before it, so we could hide behind a pillar.

A cold breeze seemed to be lingering down here, and Marlene gave a frightful shiver. It only to the ominous environment, making Marlene and I more nervous. I didn't understand how Slytherins could spend all their time somewhere so drafty and unwelcoming. No wonder they were so mean.

"How long do you think we should wait?" I whispered to Marlene. We half crouched behind a cement pillar, peering around the corner every so often for any sign of James and Sirius. I had never been so anxious to see their faces befoe.

"Dunno," Marlene said, looking again. "This is the spot, right?"

Her words were answered with a fluttering sound and a strange sensation as something thick and heavy flopped over us. I caught only a quick sight of a pair of legs before the heavy thing enveloped us, and James and Sirius came into view.

They had draped the invisibility cloak over us, and now underneath it, we could clearly see them both.

"Thought we ditched you birds?" James asked with a cheeky laugh. He was holding the cloak up with his wand hand and in the other he clutched the pail of leech blood.

Sirius was grinning, a strange mixture of excitement and nerves etched across his face. One I had seen too many times before he did something stupid.

He did like an adventure. I suppose this was exactly the sort of thing he'd enjoy. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the same excitement bubbling in my chest too. It was important what we were doing. Reckless and maybe a little stupid too. But important.

"Sort of," I told him, making sure we all stayed crouched down and invisible.

Sirius snorted. "Have you met us, Meadowes? No way we'd skip out on a chance to give those sniveling little gits what they deserve," He offered me a cruel smile. "We _would_ have been sooner but Myrtle was feeling a touch clingy tonight." He shrugged simply.

"Yeah, I hear that happens occasionally when you've been dead for twenty years," I reminded him. By now, Myrtle was starved for attention. I was surprised they were ever able to get out of that bathroom.

Sirius grinned. "How is it my fault that no woman, can resist my charms and good lucks? Alive or _dead_ it seems." He flipped his hair over his shoulder confidently.

Marlene and James both rolled their eyes in tandem, clearly not in the mood for one of Sirius' diatribes.

"Come on," James said before I could interject, ushering the four of us forward. "As much as it pains me to say, we don't have time for one of your soliloquies, Padfoot."

"There's always time for a soliloquy, Prongs," Sirius told him firmly, ignoring it as James gave him a shove forward.

The four of us crept silently down the corridor, doing our best to keep our footsteps tiny and quiet. We stopped in front of a seemingly empty part of the stone wall. It looked like nothing had ever been hung there and nothing ever would. The bricks didn't have a speck of dust on them. James carefully lifted the cloak off us and took a step towards it.

"What if there are Slytherins still in there?" I asked hesitantly, a tiny bit of fear bubbling up at the idea.

James shook his head, and Sirius answered for him. "They're aren't, we checked." James shot him a warning look.

"Checked what?" Marlene asked curiously, echoing my thoughts. Had that been what they were doing before they met up with us? James simply shook his head. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

Whatever they had done to check, they seemed firm on it. We would have to trust them.

He took a step towards the stone wall and placed his wand carefully on a specific stone. He tapped it twice and quietly whispered, "Pure-blood."

A great black door instantly appeared, with a silver, snake-shaped door handle. It looked like exactly the kind of door the Slytherins would like, ornate and gaudy. Though it was nothing compared to their password. That one made me grit my teeth a little.

 _"_ _Pureblood?"_ I repeated, equally disgusted and astonished. My face turned down into a frown. "That's their password? How _subtle_." I shook my head in annoyance.

"Isn't it though?" Sirius said sarcastically, eyeing the door just as darkly as I had. James ignored us, and yanked the handle open, and revealed a set of dark stone staircases.

Every fiber of being raged at the idea of heading down those stairs, but I did my best to ignore the feeling. I had to silently remind myself over and over again why we were doing this.

It was eerily silent on the stairs, as we moved. I only heard the sound of our footsteps and the sloshing of the blood in the pail, until the Slytherin Common Room came into view.

The sight of it nearly made me gasp. It was everything I had been expected, and worse.

The room was emitting a green twinge over every square inch of the surface. At first I thought it must be a trick of the light, but then I realized it was because _everything_ in the room _was_ green; The light, the furniture. _Everything._

Dark and unwelcoming didn't begin to describe it. A shiver ran down my spine.

The walls, ceilings and floors were all made out of a dark, cold stone that clattered when you walked on it, and made the room look murky.

The furniture was all smooth dark wood, and black leather couches. Each of them looking immaculate and unblemished, as if they had never once been used by a student.

Every few feet was a stray iron chair or tufted green velvet stool, and even those looked brand new. A thick crystal ball sat atop each of the tiny stone tables, along with a green lantern. The whole room felt very antiseptic. It looked much more like a frigid hotel than a Common Room. Even my Orphanage looked friendlier than _this_ place.

There were seven black doors on either side of the room. One for each year. It looked strange laid out like that. I was so used to the sprawling staircases and floors of Gryffindor Tower.

There was one fireplace in the back of the room but it didn't seem to be lit, and it was adorned with malicious looking stone serpents. Hanging above it was an oil painting of Salazar Slytherin, sneering down at us amidst the darkness.

The only light that seemed to be coming into the room at all, was from the giant window's lining the back wall, all of them giving off a greenish, murky view. It took me a few moments of watching to realize what the view was in fact, the Black Lake.

The room bore no resemblance to the bright, warm happy atmosphere of Gryffindor Tower. There was no light or warmth here. Even being in here for a moment made me want to turn and around and sprint for the Fat Lady, back where everything felt right.

"Cheery, isn't it?" Sirius asked bitterly, looking around the room as if it were a cell in Azkaban. Not that I blamed him much. The room made me want to shiver.

"It's terrible in here," I said wrapping my arms around me for warmth. The entire room seemed to be giving me an unstoppable case of shivers.

"Sort of explains the Slytherins a bit, doesn't it?" Marlene said, taking the stairs three at a time. She made her way around the room, studying it with a sneer on her face. "Don't know how anyone could _live_ here."

She picked up one of the crystal balls and then placed it down quickly as it filled with thick black smoke.

"Marlene," James called sternly. "Do you want to come and help or continue shopping around the Common Room?"

Marlene rolled her eyes and grabbed the bag off my shoulder unearthing a stack of fliers that Lily had made the night before. Each one bore the face of a famous Muggleborn witch or wizard on it. They reminded me a bit of a giant chocolate frog card. It made sense, coming from Lily.

"She really outdid herself, Evans did," James said looking at the posters with admiration.

"That she did," I agreed, as Marlene set to work putting them up on every available surface. She seemed to take pride in decorating every inch of the Slytherins cold, bare walls with the smiling faces of the people they detested.

"Come on, McKinnon," Sirius said, following her with another stack. "I'll show you the permanent sticking charm." From the stories he had told me over Christmas break, Sirius had hefty amounts of experience with the charm. Having decorated every inch of his bedroom with various posters of muggle motorbikes.

Sirius followed Marlene down to the floor and together they began repeating the incantation to make the fliers stay up on their own. While they did James turned to me, the pail of blood in his tanned, calloused hands.

"We're using the doubling charm on this, right?" James asked me, "Before or after we drop it on the floor?"

"After," I assured him, taking out my wand, "unless you want a hundred pails to dispose of."

James nodded and wagged his finger appreciatively. "That's smart, Doe."

He looked far too thrilled to be clutching the pail of blood in his hands. Eyeing the room around him like it was in desperate need of our redecorating.

"Do you want the honor, or should I?" he asked happily, waving the bucket back and forth.

It didn't matter to me much who was the one to dump the blood. As long as the Slytherins finally had to pay for what they had done, I didn't mind if James was the one who carried it out.

"I think I'll let you do the honors," I told, cracking a small smile at the look of pure delight on his thin face. "You hate them nearly as much as I do."

"Nearly?" James asked, beaming happily. "I _highly_ doubt that. But you and I can discuss who hates the Slytherins more another time. For now, let's enjoy how absolutely beautiful _this_ is."

James beamed and took great pleasure in dropping the entire pail of blood on the floor in front of us. The blood splashed on the floor in a thick, wet mess. Whatever stone the floor was made of didn't seem to be very porous, and the blood simply pooled on the ground delightfully.

"Merlin that's fantastic!" Sirius said approvingly from a few feet away. He and Marlene had just finished putting up the last of the posters and watched us happily. All across the room, the walls were littered with the smiling faces of a hundred muggleborns.

"Those aren't coming down for a while," Sirius assured us, as he came trotting back over with a wide smirk on his attractive face. "They'll be trying to rip them down until Summer _at least_."

He and James exchanged a quick happy smile as they gazed upon the walls of the Common Room.

"Now here comes the _really_ _fun_ part," I warned them, brandishing a wide smile. I took out my wand and pointed it right at the puddle of blood on the floor.

" _Gemino!_ " I said, reciting the doubling potion.

The puddle of blood doubled instantly, and the two large puddles joining together satisfyingly. James grinned and followed after me, doubling it again. " _Gemino!"_

The puddle of blood grew another few inches, while James looked on proudly. Marlene and Sirius took out their own wands and began joining us.

The entire room was a cacophony of incantations as the four of us mastered the doubling charm, and moved onto trying the enlargement charm. Before we knew it, the entire floor was covered in a thin layer of thick red blood, that only rose higher and higher with every spell we cast.

We had to stand on the furniture, balancing on the leather couches and velvet stools to avoid getting the bottom of our jeans and shoes drenched in blood. We had already filled the floor almost two inches with the stuff, and stood back on the stone steps to admire our work.

"I'm going to go dump an extra vile or two in Elizabeth's bed," Marlene said, her eye's narrowed as she took a flask-full of the thick blood and hopped from chair to chair. She headed straight for the black door with the thick silver 5 emblazoned on it.

"Do me a favor and stop by _Mulciber's_ next," I added quickly. If anyone deserved a bed full of blood, it was him.

"You know what I think this needs?" James asked. He raised his wand and whispered a quick incantation. A thick stream of blood rose from the floor and drew on the stone wall in front of us, drawing words in simple even letters. It took a moment for the words to finishing etching themselves onto the wall, but once they did, the words were clear as day;

 _Since You Care So Much About Everyone's Blood, Feel Free to Inspect This_

"I think that may have been the little touch it needed," James said evenly, not taking his eyes off of the words on the wall. His eyes were trained on his work proudly.

"Spooky, Prongs," Sirius said eyeing it with reverence.

He finally looked away long enough to stare down at a crumpled piece of parchment in his hands. Sirius stared at it carefully, his eyes focusing on something that was obstructed from the rest of us. For a second, I could have sworn I saw something moving across the page. I blinked unsure of what I was seeing, before Sirius crumpled up and shoved it back into his pocket, his eyes going wide.

"Someone's coming," he said, speaking straight to James. His tone was tenser than it had been a moment ago.

"How could you _possibly_ know that?" I asked, more confused than ever.

"Just one of my many genetic gifts, Meadowes," Sirius was, still looking at James for guidance.

James looked worried for a second, and narrowed his eyes. "Who and how far away?" he asked, his wand was drawn now. He yanked the cloak out of his pocket as he called loudly for Marlene.

"Just Rabastan Lestrange," Sirius said quickly, his dislike for our schoolmate written plainly on his face. "he's leaving the Great Hall now. He'll be here in two minutes."

I didn't stop to wonder how Sirius could have possibly known all of that while he had been in the room with us the whole time, because the moment I heard the name Rabastan, my eyes had narrowed in concentration, focusing.

" _Rabastan_?" I repeated, shaking my head. "Leave it to me."

It was probably the only time I history I had actually been glad that Rabastan had a strange obsession with me. If anyone could distract him for a few minutes, it was me.

I made sure I had my wand firmly in my hand and took off for their stairs. Sirius shook his head furiously and followed right behind me.

"Are you _mad_ , Meadowes?" he demanded, grabbing my forearm. "He tries to do you in every time you're alone with him. Are you _trying_ to end up hexed?"

"Technically he tried to do _you_ in," I reminded Sirius with a tiny smile. "He _likes_ me. I can distract him while you lot finish up, and get out of here."

As much as I hated the idea of willingly spending more time with Rabastan, I needed to give the rest of them more time. Creepy and terrifying as he may be, I'd rather talk with Rabastan in the hallways then have him find us here.

Sirius looked annoyed. His brows furrowed grumpily as he shook his head. "This is a _stupid_ plan," he mused bitterly.

"It's the only one we've got, Padfoot, let her go," James told him in a firm voice, jumping the furniture in search of Marlene.

I offered Sirius a comforting smile that he ignored and headed for the door. I could still hear him swearing as I ran up the stairs as fast as I could. It was a touch insulting that Sirius didn't think I could handle Rabastan on my own. He'd seen me hold my own with him at least twice now. Did he really believe that I couldn't handle one Slytherin for a couple of minutes? That would be easy.

I ignored how my lungs screamed inside my chest as I tore down the corridors of the dungeons as fast I could. I kept my wand clutched firmly in my hand. I needed to be as far away from the dungeons as I could when I ran into Rabastan. There couldn't even be a whiff of suspicion that I was anywhere near the Common Rooms. At least if I wanted to get through this without a detention.

I managed to make it up the staircase and into the entrance hall, clutching at a stich in my side, when I barreled straight into Rabastan. He had been distracted, reading a piece of parchment. He instantly reached out to knock back whomever had pushed into him. His hands locking around my shoulders.

I saw the creepy, malicious excitement spread across his face as he realized it was me, and did my best not to visually shiver. The trick with Rabastan was making sure he didn't see that anything he did had any effect on me.

His eyes, as bright green as mine were blue, lit up with an eagerness that made my blood run cold. It took all of my focus to keep my face even and unaffected. I needed to focus. I had to give the other some more time.

Rabastan's grip on me tightened and his hands slid down from my shoulders, slowly making their way down my arms and stopping on my hips.

"Doe," he purred softly, his grip on me tightening as he spoke. "Seems it's my lucky night running into you."

I struggled against his grip, my eyes locked on his. I knew I needed to distract him, but that didn't mean _he_ needed to have his hands on me either.

"Lucky?" I huffed irritably, "More like a cruel joke of fate if you ask me."

Rabastan grinned wider did seem to love when it when I was cruel to him. It made me wonder idly what he would do if I was actually nice to him.

"I don't know how you figure it's cruel," Rabastan said, as I yanked away from his grip on me. "Any fate that lands you and I alone together is a fate that _I_ celebrate wholeheartedly."

I rolled my eyes as he brushed a piece of dark hair out of his eyes. His full lips were slowly stretching into a sultry smile, and his eyes were narrowed in on me with an intensity that made me want to run in the other direction.

But I needed to keep him talking. For as long as I could. I didn't leave like I wanted too. I crossed my arms and kept my eyes trained on his, determined to keep him focused on me.

"Don't you have to actually _have_ a heart to do something wholeheartedly?" I asked him firmly, watching as he continued to grin. "I don't think the lump of stone in your chest would qualify."

Rabastan chuckled softly, running a large hand across his very square jaw. It irked me just how handsome he was. No one that cruel should have a face like that. He seemed to know just how attractive he was too. He made sure to give me a long, smoldering look before he spoke again.

"You always have had a way with words, Doe" he said softly, almost to himself.

"My words are nothing compared to what I can do with my wand," I reminded him, twirling it in my hand for emphasis "or have you _already_ forgotten about my stinging jinx?"

Rabastan raised an eyebrow. "You mean that shameless bit of flirting you got up to Hogsmeade?" he asked sensually. "That was foreplay, Pet. You are excellent at teasing me with your feigned indifference."

He circled me slowly, inspecting me from every angle. The smirk never left his lips.

 _Keep him talking_ , I reminded myself. I had to say whatever I could to keep him focused.

"Feigned indifference?" I repeated, pressing my lips into a firm line. "That's a funny way of pronouncing _unadulterated hate_."

"Hate?" Rabastan gave a sultry laugh and shook his head at the ceiling. "You don't have an inkling of what hate is, my love. To truly hate someone, you have to feel it in your bones, in your _blood_ ," His damnable fingers traced their way across my forearm before I could move away. "It fills you up in every way. It's a frenzy. _Fervent_ , even. A pure, unsullied emotion."

"Are there any more adjectives you'd like to use?" I asked him sarcastically, my eyes narrowed. "Or can you skip to the point?"

Rabastan either didn't hear me or didn't care because he kept talking, pacing around me slowly. His hands still only inches from me. It was almost like he was dancing, while I was stuck frozen in between him.

"You wouldn't be able to stand here if you, really, _truly_ hated me," Rabastan murmured evenly, his eyes locked on mine. "That's how I know that you do not in fact _hate_ me, regardless of what spills out of that full, delicious mouth of yours."

There was no way I'd ever speak the words, but I couldn't help but think them. Rabastan was right. I didn't _hate_ him. I abhorred him. Dislike and disgust filled my head every time I even thought about him. But hate? I didn't hate him. There was only one person in this world I truly hated; Aubleus.

Whenever the face of my parent's murdered flashed through my head, I felt a rage so unparalleled I didn't know how to categorize it. It made my vision blurry and could make my knees weak. That was hate. Rabastan was foul, but what I felt for him didn't hold a candle to the way I felt towards Aubleus. Not that I'd let _him_ know that.

"I'm pretty sure absolute disgust would be enough for any sane person to take a hike," I told him firmly, swatting his hand away from my waist. "I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that you fall into the category of mad."

Rabastan let out a low, happy laugh. It didn't matter what I said. It only seemed to please him more. So long as he kept talking, it didn't matter.

"It's a shame really that you _aren't_ a Pureblood," He said _tsk_ ing slightly. "Think of the beautiful children we could have had if you were." His fingers traced my cheek and I slapped his hand away with all the force I could muster.

"Thank Merlin for my dirty blood then, huh?" I said, throwing him the most murderous grin I could muster. "Being a Half-Blood comes in handy every now and then. Especially if it means never having to spend my life with the likes of _you._ "

He grinned again. "You make it sound as if marriage is our only option, Pet." He shook his head lightly. "I suppose we'll have to settle for stolen moments in the room of requirement. Care to join me there now? We have _hours_ before curfew. Plenty of time to get into some trouble."

I had to choke back the vomit that formed in the throat at the idea of _that._ There was no universe where I would ever willingly let Rabastan touch me. Somehow deep down I think he knew it too. The lustful look in his eyes was too violent for him to think I'd ever willingly agree. That would take the fun out of it for him. I shivered involuntarily at the thoughts that were probably playing in his mind.

"You'd love it," he purred again, ignoring the look of loathing I had on my face. And the rolls of my eyes that accompanied it.

"You know," he said evenly, "I just learned how to do a proper Patronus the other day? Want to know what memory I choose?"

Even under his sweater I could see the tensing of his Quidditch-muscled arms. The ones that twitched in my direction.

"Not particularly," I told him, silently hoping that the other were hurrying up. The idea of talking to Rabastan for any longer was deeply unsettling. Other people had just begun to leave the Great Hall, among them were other Slytherins. I hoped the others had already left there Common Room.

"It was a dream, actually," Rabastan whispered, a lewd look in his eyes. "One of you and me in bed _together_."

I wanted to vomit right then and there. I opened my mouth to counter something back to him, when Rabastan's head snapped forward immediately, as if he had been hit in the head with something heavy. He involuntarily cried out in pain for a moment, his eyes sparkling with venom as he searched for the culprit. He grimaced when he saw nothing in the vicinity.

The corners of my mouth turned upward into a smile. I knew exactly who had hit him. Rabastan would have a hard time finding someone, invisible.

"Who is there?" Rabastan snapped, searching the empty air for any sign of his attacker. His wand clutched fiercely in his hand.

The only response he received was a punch to the stomach. Rabastan lurched forward, doing his best to stay grounded as he heaved quickly. It was hard to tell whether it was James, Sirius or Marlene under there. Possibly, all three. Whoever it was, had impeccably aim.

I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing, letting only the tiny trace of a smile cross my face. Rabastan's cruel face looked up at me a second later, still clutching at his stomach. I could tell he was absolutely furious.

"What are _you_ doing?" he demanded of me, his face hard. Any longing or desire for me that had lingered there a moment ago was gone now. His wand twitched in my direction.

"I'm not doing anything," I told him innocently, taking great pride in the words. "I'm been with you this whole time, Rabastan." His upper lip curled.

He was still half bent over, holding his stomach, when something came behind him and slammed into his knees. Rabastan was instantly knocked to the ground. He landed on his arse, his wand bouncing a few feet in the opposite direction. Bright green sparks emitting from the top as it did.

"So, help me," he spat angrily, looking around him furiously at his unknown attacked. "I will make it my personal mission to murder you, whoever you are."

There was a whisper of an incantation to his right, and by the time Rabastan had turned his head to look, a puff of violent purple smoke had formed between us. It obscured any view he had of the corridor.

I felt something heavy drift over me and I realized it was the cloak. I crouched down and found Marlene, James and Sirius crowded underneath it. Sirius had his wand in his hands and a confident smile plastered across his face.

I turned forward and saw why. Rabastan's eyebrows were seemed to be magically getting bigger. They were growing at an alarming rate, growing outward so that they passed his cheekbones.

I covered my mouth so I didn't laugh, and Sirius grinned, pressing a finger to his mouth to remind me to stay quiet. Marlene seemed to be having an immensely difficult time keeping from giggling. James watched the whole thing in delight.

"Doe!?" Rabastan called angrily, moving his extremely long eyebrows out of the way of his mouth, as he searched the entrance hall wildly. "Where did you go!?"

Other students had started filing out of the Great Hall now and were staring at Rabastan in disbelief or pure amusement. He glared at them, getting up and stalking back towards the Slytherin Common Room.

I wanted to stay a moment longer and watch, but I felt the other start to move beside me, and followed their lead. We had to be careful, meandering down the corridor, to not hit any other students.

We made it back to the Hospital Wing corridor virtually without being seen, and the moment the coast was clear, James threw the invisibility cloak off of us.

I let out the high, happy laugh I had been holding onto while we walked, my head thrown back in pure joy.

"That was absolutely amazing," I said, the color rising to my cheeks. "There will never be anything sad enough, ever that makes me forget how amazing it was to see Rabastan Lestrange knocked on his arse."

Sirius flashed me a cocky grin. " _You're welcome,_ Meadowes."

"Don't forget that we helped, Sirius," Marlene pointed out, crossing her arms. "You love to take the credit for everything, don't you?"

"I hit first McKinnon," Sirius reminded her. "If you hadn't been so concerned with whether or not the invisibility cloak was messing up your hair, you could have taken credit for the first punch."

Marlene ran one thin, tanned hand over her head of perfect hair and sneered at Sirius.

"I should have known it was you," I told Sirius, shaking my head. "Who else would be that reckless?"

"I _selflessly_ defended your honor, Meadowes," Sirius said clutching dramatically at his chest. "I was your _hero_. Is this how you treat your Knight in shining armor? If so, you are going to have quite the sad Fairytale, darling."

"It doesn't count if you hate Rabastan too," I reminded him with a sly smile. "I bet you would have done the same whether I was there or not."

Sirius shook his head, pretending to be dejected. "Codswallop." Marlene rolled her eyes and gave me a look that suggested she wanted to kick Sirius in the shins.

"As fun as it is watching you two go on and on all night," James said quickly, casting a disapproving look at Sirius and me. "We have alibis to secure." He tapped the gold wrist watch on his arm carefully.

Sirius flashed his friend an unfavorable look. "Of all people, it's disappointing to see you end the fun, Prongsie."

"It'll be fun if we pull it off, Pads" James reminded him firmly. Sirius sighed, looking slightly dejected.

"He's right," I said throwing a furtive look at the closed Hospital Wing doors. "We should all get out here before it's too late."

James nodded, and grabbed Sirius by the upper arm. The two of them, draped the cloak back over their heads and disappeared from sight.

"Is it wrong of me to sort of hope they don't make it in time?" Marlene asked shamelessly as we pushed open the door to the Hospital Wing. "It might be fun to watch McGonagall tear the mickey out of them."

I raised an eyebrow at her, trying to hide how funny I found her comment. "You know you sound an awful lot like Lily right now," I told her, chuckling.

Marlene trotted into the Hospital Wing and stuck her tongue out at me, disagreeing with the assessment. I smiled and elbowed her playfully in the ribs.

I let out a sigh of relief as I realized the Hospital Wing was empty, salve for Mary and Lily. They were both exactly where we had left them. I stole a quick glance at the clock on the wall. We had only been gone for half an hour.

"Not bad timing, huh?" Marlene whispered playfully in my ear, as we walked towards our friends. "Were decent at this mischief making, aren't we?"

I flashed her a wide smile. "Maybe even better than _they_ are," I whispered.

Marlene knew exactly what I meant and wiggled her shoulders happily as we took our seats by Mary's bed.

"There you are!" Mary said happily. "We were wondering when you'd come back."

Just looking at Mary's smiling face, reaffirmed everything we had just done. There was no better reason than her to put the Slytherins in their place.

"How was dinner?" Lily asked quickly, her eyes wide and searching for answers. She was practically bouncing up and down in her seat, obviously desperate to know if we had accomplished what we wanted too.

Marlene tossed her legs onto the edge of Mary's bed, and caught me eyes.

"Oh, it was _excellent_ ," Marlene said confidently, giving Mary's shoulder a confident smirk plastered across her beautiful face. 'Wouldn't you say so, Doe?"

Mary eyed her like she had three head, clearly confused about why Marlene was so thrilled with dinner.

Lily looked instantly relieved, and Marlene was having trouble hiding her delight. I felt an upsurge of joy as I realized we actually had done it. We had actually pulled it off. As long as everything went well on the Marauder's end, we stood a real chance of getting away with it. I could hardly sit still thinking about what the Slytherins were probably doing right now as they step foot into their Common Room.

"Definitely," I agreed, smiling widely. "It was one for the books."

Mary looked even more confused now. "You three are acting strangely," she said observing us with a perplexed smile. "It's a good thing I like you all so much. Otherwise I'd think you were absolutely mad."

"There's nothing wrong with being a little mad," Marlene winked at her. Mary chuckled and made room so she could curl up beside her on the bed.

Lily watched them with a happy look on plastered dreamily on her face. She caught my eye and the two of us exchanged a jovial smile. This is how we always felt when the four of us were happy and united. There was nothing more important to us than each other. It was the reason we had done what we had today.

The door to the Hospital Wing slammed open and Madam Pompfrey stormed back into the room, her face flushed with annoyance, as Peter and Remus skipped into the room behind her.

"Honestly, you boys," Madam Pompfrey said shaking her head as she busied herself with cleaning up the beds closest to her.

I had no idea what the two of them had done to make her look so flustered, but it seemed to be have worked in our favor. Peter was groaning as he laid down on one of the empty beds, but Remus turned to the four of us and gave a quick, dramatic wink.

Maybe we would get away with it after all.


	18. Betrayal

18

Betrayal

Mary was released from the Hospital Wing the next morning.

It was a welcomed surprise for the rest of us. It hadn't been the same in our dormitory with her gone. Mary kept the balance in our foursome. Without her, everything felt disjointed and wrong, like there was a missing personality. The needed fourth block to keep our tiny house standing. Alice and Rylie had spent the better part of a week making sure Mary's bed was left impeccable, and Alice even took to conjuring fresh flowers in a vase by her bed every day. Needless to say, everyone was glad to have her back.

It was perfect timing for her rearrival too. The entire school knew what had happened to Mary the week before, and _exactly_ who had done it. No one in Gryffindor Tower needed any more proof of what the Slytherins were capable when it came to Muggleborns, we had all seen it first-hand. Even if they didn't agree with it, everyone knew why Mary had kept quiet about what had happened to her, and were anxious to see her come back.

Mary seemed to be the only one who was still a little hesitant. While she was absolutely sick of the Hospital Wing. I knew she was terrified of seeing the Slytherins again after what she had been through. She was still scared.

But I doubted the Slytherins would come within one foot of her after what they had found in their Common Room yesterday. As soon as Mary heard about _that,_ I was sure she would be fine.

"Merlin am I glad to finally be rid of that place," Mary told us the morning she was released, throwing a grateful look at the Hospital Wing doors as they closed. "I've been dreaming of a having a meal in the Great Hall _all week_."

"You've been dreaming of stale eggs and kippers for a week?" Marlene snorted as she adjusted her Gryffindor tie lazily. "That's just _sad_ , Mary."

The four of us walked in tandem towards the Great Hall, elated that we were all back together again. It was hard to be in a good mood crowded in the Hospital Wing, under Madam Pompfrey's watchful gaze. It had been days since we had been able to talk about anything, and Mary in particular seemed euphoric about being free and clear at last. She was practically skipping down the corridor.

"Don't forget the toast," Mary added eagerly, walking backwards so she could face Marlene. "It wouldn't be Hogwarts breakfast unless one of us consumed our weight in toast."

"Bet we could even rustle up a waffle or two," I told her cheerfully, watching the smile growing wider on her face.

Mary's eyes softened at the possibility. "Oh, Doe. Don't _tease_ me."

The four of us all laughed as she placed her hand carefully over her heart and stared off dreamily towards the direction of the Great Hall. She even twirled as she walked. She seemed to have let the events of the week before slip from her mind during the night. I was sort of glad that was her attitude about the whole thing. There was no point in her harping on it. Especially not now. The Slytherins would be keeping their distance for a while.

The Entrance Hall was packed full of students heading into breakfast. It was more crowded than I had ever seen it before. Everyone seemed to be talking in obnoxiously loud voices as they pushed into the room. The chatter was so thunderous, you could barely hear the person beside you. Whatever they were talking about was clearly _really_ interesting.

" _What_ is going on in here?" Lily asked loudly, as we fought past a group of Ravenclaw first years, to get through the doorway. The group of them were talking so earnestly they hadn't even been paying attention to where they were walking. Marlene took great pride in shoving them out of her way. There was nothing she disliked more than first years. Probably because she was the youngest member of the McKinnon brood.

"No idea," Mary said shaking her head, as we headed for the House Table. We could hardly hear her over the cacophony of chatter that seemed to fill the hall. "but I've been a little incapacitated for the last few days. Did I miss something _big?_ "  
"Are you asking if someone _died?_ " Marlene asked, letting a dark, jaded chuckle escape her lips. "Because if they had, we wouldn't know. We've spent most of our free time lately up in that dodgy Hospital Wing with you."

"Something I'm very thankful for," Mary reminded her, taking her usual seat at the table, rolling one of her uniform sleeves up and out of her way.

Her arms barely held any trace of the scars that were so bright and vibrant a few days before. Madam Pompfrey had worked wonders.

The talking in the Great Hall hadn't quieted at all as we all crowded around the table. If anything, it had gotten louder. It seemed every other person in the hall was engaged in a close, loud conversation about something that was taking all of their attention.

Up and down every house table, people whispered to one another, some looking thrilled and otherwise quite put out. Their eyes all darting in the same direction, towards the Slytherin House Table. My eyes barely scanned the Slytherin table when I remembered exactly why each of the Slytherins looked so put out.

This was the first time any of us had seen them since dinner. Now the constant chatter in the Great Hall made sense. The Slytherins had seen their Common Room, and now all of the Hall knew exactly what had happened to them.

A devilish smile crossed my face as I turned back to my friends. "Look at the Slytherin table!" I told them excitedly.

"Merlin, that's lovely," Marlene said happily, her eyes already trained on them. She grinned as she carefully buttered the piece of toast in front of her.

Even Lily seemed to be smirking a little as she looked up from the Potions book open on the table. "They do look a little unhappy, don't they?" she whispered happily.

Unhappy was putting it _mildly._ Every single person at the Slytherin table looked enraged. They scowled at their plates and the other house tables, as if they were searching for the exact people responsible for their moods.

The Purebloods at the table looked the most irate. Narcissa was practically spitting with anger as she served herself breakfast. She kept turning to hiss things at Tracey and Elizabeth, her face flashing with different shades of rage. Elizabeth was dead silent, stabbing a piece of breakfast sausage with a knife. It made me think that Marlene had managed to get around to dumping the blood on her bed after all.

Further down the table, Snape was clustered around the other fifth year Slytherin boys their head all practically pressed together as the whispered about something angrily, Mulciber was among them. It was impossible to miss the fury stretched across his thin, harrowed face.

"I'm glad they're furious," I said firmly, "I don't think I would have _really_ felt satisfied if they didn't look quite so put out."

Marlene threw her head back into laughter and Lily smiled at her textbook. I snuck one more look back at the Slytherin table and found Rabastan Lestrange staring right back at me. He didn't look quite as enraged as the others at the table, but there was no mistaking the look of irritation drawn across his handsome features. It wasn't the usual cocky smolder he gave me. This was crueler. I wondered if he knew somehow that I had been involved. The glare he was throwing me certainly seemed to suggest so. His gaze didn't falter or change as I looked back at him. I rolled my eyes and turned back to my plate, content to ignore him. Rabastan Lestrange didn't scare me.

"I think we might actually have irritated them even more than we thought," Marlene observed astutely. "I mean look at Elizabeth Burke. Have you _ever_ seen her so quiet?"

"What _are_ you three going on about?" Mary asked again, frowning as her frustration clearly grew. "What happened with the Slytherins?"

Marlene caught my eye and raised one of her eyebrows. I knew she was asking whether or not we should tell Mary what we did.

"We might as well tell her," I said eagerly, seeing the desperate confusion that Mary seemed to be emitting. "She'll find out in a minute anyway."

"Oh, let _me_ tell her," Marlene begged, excitedly, "Pretty please!" She clapped her hands together eagerly when Lily and I nodded in unison.

Mary looked ready to lob the piece of toast in her hands straight at us. "Tell me _what?_ "

Marlene opened her mouth to answer and promptly shut it as someone walked towards us. Mary groaned in annoyance, and then stopped the moment she turned around and saw who it was.

It wouldn't have mattered if Marlene had continued to talk anyway, because the second Landon walked by, Mary's attention snapped towards him.

"Madam Pompfrey finally decided to spring you, did she?" Landon asked Mary cheekily, his entire face lighting up with excitement as he looked at her.

" _Finally_ ," Mary agreed, her fingers dancing across the tabletop beside her. "I was getting really tired of having to look at you over Julie's shoulder."

Julie had hardly left Mary's side the entire time she had been in the Hospital Wing. Even Marlene, Lily and I and I had had to fight her over spending time alone with Mary. I didn't even want to imagine how hard it had been for Landon to have seen her.

"Don't seem to have that problem now do we?" Landon snorted, nodding further down the table where Julie sat with the rest of her third-year friends.

After Mary's release, Julie had gone back to her usual pattern of ignoring her sister's existence within the castle walls, without so much as a glance in Mary's direction.

Mary shook her head confidently. "Seems we don't."

Landon answered her by reaching out to grasp her face in her hands, planting a long dramatic kiss on her lips. Even from our seats, we could see Mary blushing fiercely.

Marlene made dramatic retching noises in her goblet of pumpkin juice beside her. "Some of us are trying to _eat_ here," she reminded them. "I don't need to watch my brother sucking face while I'm having breakfast."

Landon let go of Mary's face and rolled his eyes at his younger sister.

"Isn't that a little rich coming from you, Marls?" Landon asked, taking the seat beside Mary. "I've spent half my time at Hogwarts listening to stories of your famous bed-hopping in the Quidditch locker room. Those aren't exactly details that, as your brother, I want to hear."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "I may be a bed-hopper Landon but I never dated one of your best friends," she pointed out, turning back to her breakfast with a righteous look on her face. Mary flashed her a warning look and I was pretty sure she kicked her under the table.

"Yeah?" Landon asked loudly, "What about Sturgis Podmore?"

Marlene snorted in response. " _Please_. You and I both know you were never friends with Sturgis."

Both Marlene and Landon chuckled a little, and the rest of us could hardly keep from chuckling too. It was clear from the haughty way Marlene spread jam over her toast that she hadn't given Sturgis a second thought since she had broken things off.

"So, I take it you all heard about the Slytherins Common Room?" Landon asked, serving himself a Hagrid-Sized portion of eggs. "Everyone's been talking about it. The Slytherins have been in a foul mood all morning. You should have heard the tirade that Antonin Dolohov and Sebastian Mulciber went on this morning."

Marlene and I exchanged quick look over the stack of waffles. Lily did her best to keep her nose buried in the book in front on her, but I could see the color rising in her cheeks.

"What happened to their Common Room?" Mary asked, hanging on Landon's every word.

Landon grinned. It wasn't clear that in the wake of losing a Quidditch match to Slytherin and having his girlfriend attacked, he had very little sympathy for our emerald-clad schoolmates.

"Someone filled their entire Common Room with blood," he whispered ominously, not trying to hide his pleasure at the idea. "And they hung up all these posters of famous muggleborns with some eerie warning on the wall." He laughed as he took a hearty swig from his goblet. "It was pretty brilliant, Mare. Exactly what those prejudiced little bastards needed."

I had to take a huge gulp from goblet to hide the look of absolute elation I was wearing now. Nothing made me happier than knowing exactly how much we had inconvenienced the Slytherins.

"Holy Hippogriff." Mary's eyes were wide as saucers as she listened to Landon's words. "Do they know who did it?"

Landon gave Mary a very knowing look. "Come on, Mary. Everyone knows who did it. It was the Marauders."

This time, I choked on my pumpkin juice.

" _The Marauders?"_ Mary asked, blinking slowly at him. "How do you know it was them?"

Now, even Marlene was watching Landon with a firm, uninterrupted gaze. He seemed to notice he had the attention of all four of us now, and grinned.

"Well come on, it's always them, isn't it?" He asked. "Who else would have the balls to sneak into the Slytherin Common Room and pull off something like that?" Landon chuckled as if that had been obvious.

"And anyway," he added quickly, not noticing the look that three of us exchanged. "They were the only ones that any one remembers missing from dinner last night. Well, except _you lot_."

Lily was now trying so hard to look normal, I could see the muscles in her face straining with extreme difficulty.

"And I don't think you three have been off sneaking around the Slytherin Common Rooms, or have you?" Landon laughed lightly, as if the idea were absolutely absurd.

Lily straightened the prefect badge on her school robes with shaky fingers. Her green eyes darting once from Marlene and then too me.

"You caught us," she joked, laughing as she smiled at Marlene's older brother. I wondered if I was the only one who noticed that her voice was slightly strained.

I kept my face very even, doing my best not to give anything away. This was the only reason I wasn't worried about our absence from dinner the night before. Even Marlene's own brother laughed at the possibility of the three of us having anything to do with what happened to the Slytherins. No one suspected us.

It seemed everyone believed it to be the Marauders. I hoped that they had been able to secure their alibi's. I knew the Slytherins wouldn't just let this go. By now, they'd already complained to their Head of House, Professor Slughorn, and he would be working to find the guilty culprits.

Landon smiled at the three of us and moved on to telling Mary about the new Quidditch book he read, but Mary only seemed to be half-listening. She kept throwing furtive glances at Marlene, Lily and me. She seemed to know she was still missing a piece of the puzzle. I was sure the moment Landon left the table, she'd be bombarding us with questions once again.

Landon stayed sitting with Mary for the rest of the breakfast, and spared us from her impending investigation.

The rest of us kept quiet, not wanting to do or say anything that might draw any unnecessary attention to ourselves. As Landon had pointed out, we were one of the few other people who hadn't made an appearance at dinner last night.

Lily kept herself buried in her potions book, and Marlene stared off into space, her eyes drifting aimlessly back to Baxter Thornbottle.

I let myself glance around the room. Landon seemed to be right. Everyone was talking about the Slytherins. Gideon and Fabian Prewett had started a raucous conversation about it with the rest of the Sixth years, and the tiny first years at the very end of the table were whispering about it in hushed voices.

Hestia and Emmeline were standing in one corner of the room, arguing in soft voice. The latter seemed furious. Emmeline kept shaking her head at whatever Hestia was telling her and eventually crossed her arms as she scowled. I felt a little bad that our Common Room stunt had stirred up trouble between Hestia and Emmeline. Emmeline was one of the few Slytherins who I could actually stand.

There was a soft hooting from further down the Gryffindor Table that drew my attention away from Hestia and Emmeline.

The Marauders had just walked into the Great Hall to a mixed greeting, and they seemed to be very aware of it. All of the sixth year Gryffindors and a couple of the older and younger students down the table had broken into a soft applause. Unlike usual, the four of them didn't bow or make a scene about it. They simply headed for their usual seats at the table. I supposed they were doing the same as we were, trying not to draw any unnecessary attention. Every single person at the Slytherin Table glared at them as they past. Everyone seemed to be looking at the Marauders. One quick look at the Staff table confirmed what I had already known. Both Professor Slughorn and Professor McGonagall were both eyeing the Marauders with a firm look.

"Well, well, well," Landon whistled as they took their seats beside us, quietly. "If it isn't the Slytherins biggest enemy?"

I felt each pair of the Marauder's eyes meet with ours before they spoke, answering a silent question.

Sirius flipped his wavy hair out of his eyes lazily. "What _are_ you going on about, McKinnon?" he asked in a confident voice that suggested he knew _exactly_ what Landon was talking about.

"Honestly," James added, after a hearty swig of Pumpkin Juice. "Have all those bludgers to the head during Quidditch practice finally made you gone barmy?"

Peter snorted so hard he had to grip the table for support. Remus gave a lofty sigh with a look in Lily's direction.

Landon shook his head. "Okay fine, don't admit it, but I just hope you lot covered your tracks. I bet McGonagall is going to be on the war path about it. It's not like you just set off dungbombs down there."

Sirius rolled his eyes at Landon. "That's your problem, Landon," he said taking a large bite of kippers from his plate. "You let things worry you too much. I'm not afraid of Minnie. And anyway, why would we be? We haven't done anything."

" _Sure_ ," Landon snorted, turning back to his conversation with Mary.

Sirius shrugged and his gaze made his way from Landon, to me. He caught my eyes and offered me a large wink.

I knew the meaning of that. He wanted me to stop worrying. The Marauders had covered their tracks. I sincerely hoped that was true. I was having trouble ignoring the piercing look that Professor McGonagall was still eyeing them with from the Staff Table.

It seemed that the only thing anyone wanted to talk about for the rest of the day was what had happened to the Slytherins. The general consensus was the same. Everyone thought it had been a brilliantly executed plan. One executed by the Marauders.

Every Hufflepuff in our morning Divination class spent the period exchanging hushed whispers and points at the Marauders table, while we deciphered our latest dream, and even the violent, and bloody Goblin Riots we were discussing in History of Magic didn't seem to be enough to keep the Ravenclaws from gossiping about it from the back of the room.

Even Professor Flitwick took a minute out of our Charms lesson to comment on how strong the doubling and permanent sticking charms that were used in the Slytherin Common Room were, not that he supported what had been done of course, just the excellent wandwork.

The Marauders didn't seem to be bothered by the gossip in the slightest. They seemed to be reveling in it, actually. All four of them sat through the classes, chatting happily as if nothing had happened. That was the only thing that relaxed me even slightly. If the Marauders looked that unconcerned then there was only one reason. There was no way that it could be proven we were anywhere near the Slytherin Common Room.

By the time Care of Magical Creatures rolled around, I was glad to be outside and working with my hands. We were covering Bowtruckles today. The tiny, stick-like creatures were pretty docile unless you tried to rip one of their limbs off like Jonas Avery did. He had ended up with a Bowtruckle arm in his eye socket and had to be rushed to the Hospital Wing.

"So, what you're telling me is that, despite him now being on of you're very good friends, you have no idea whether or not Sirius Black and the rest of his band of mischief makers had anything to do with what happened in the Slytherins Common Room?" Amelia asked me, holding the Bowtruckle so I could sketch it on the parchment in front of us.

My cheeks flushed a little pink as I looked back at her. "I'm not confirming or denying, anything, Ames," I told her firmly, turning back to the drawing in front of me.

Amelia let the Bowtruckle scamper up and down the length of her arm. "You do know _something_ , then?" she pressed, her smile widening as the possibility.

I didn't want to lie to her, and as much as I wanted to tell her the truth, I knew the fewer who knew about our involvement, the better.

"Why do you care so much about who did it?" I asked her honestly, trying to distance the conversation from what I knew, "You're a Hufflepuff. It wasn't your Common Room that got trashed."

Amelia grinned, flashing me her very white teeth. "Because, Doe. It was pretty brilliant, don't you think? The Slytherins finally got a taste of their own medicine, and I wanted to make sure who ever had done it knew just how brilliant I thought it was."

Brilliant. She had called the plan, brilliant. It was hard not to tell her right then and there about my involvement in it. I certainly wanted too, but instead I gave her a wide, delighted smile.

"How about this? I'll make sure the message gets passed along, alright?" I told her. "And I'm sure they're grateful that's how you feel about it."

It didn't need to go any further. I already knew how appreciative she was.

Amelia's eyebrow raised, and she seemed to sense what I was getting at. My subtle hint was all she needed to confirm what she had already been thinking.

"You're sneaky, I'll give you that," Amelia chuckled, watching as the Bowtruckle tried to bury itself in her mane of curly hair.

We were curled up far enough away from the other groups of people that neither of us had to worry about being overheard.

"How did your career selection go?" I asked her, changing the subject before she could ask me anything else about the night before. "Did Sprout give you a hard time?"

This seemed to brighten Amelia up a bit, her face changing immediately as she prepared me for a long story.

"Thank Heavens, no," Amelia said gathering her hair into a low bun, so the Bowtruckle had no choice but to curl up on her shoulder. "Professor Sprout seemed fine with me joining the ministry."

"Probably because she knows just how annoying you'd be if she said any different," I reminded her. Amelia chuckled and tossed the Bowtruckle at me so fast I had to throw myself at the ground to keep it from scampering off.

"It's one of the best parts of being a Hufflepuff that Edgar isn't my house," Amelia added, as the Bowtruckle swung from a lock of my hair like a rope. "Professor Sprout has only ever had to teach Edgar in Herbology so she's not constantly comparing me to him and his brilliance." Amelia rolled her eyes dramatically, though there was no malice on her face. She still wore a smile.

"And Herbology is about the only thing I'm better than Edgar at," she added proudly.

"Wish I could say the same," I said sadly, thinking of my abysmal Herbology skills and terrible luck with anything that even remotely resembled it.

Amelia let out a light laugh, "Bet you're bummed you need N.E.W.T. level Herbology to be a Auror, huh?"

I met her eyes with a dark look. "Oh, you have no idea."

"Never too late to switch your career choice, you know," Amelia joked heartily, knowing first-hand how unlikely it was. "You could be a Madam Malkin's model or something. Don't need an O.W.L in Herbology for that."

"How _hilarious,_ Bones," I told her rolling my eyes as she laughed loudly.

A tiny first year, Hufflepuff from the look of his robes and tie, scampered down the grounds at a quick pace and almost barreled straight into Professor Kettleburn. He spoke quietly to the Professor and then waited silently beside him as Professor Kettleburn put down his armful of Bowtruckles and spoke to the class.

"Would, Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew and Ms. Meadowes please follow this young man back to the castle," Professor Kettleburn said evenly, looking slightly displeased at the first year for having interrupted his lesson, "It seems Professor McGonagall needs a word with you. And I'd bring your things if I were you. I doubt you will return in time to complete the lesson."

I felt a tiny flare up of nerves at the idea of being summoned from class with the Marauders, but squashed it as best as I could. Professor McGonagall wanted a word with all five of us? How could it be about anything else other than the night before.

"Good luck," Amelia told me, as I handed her off the Bowtruckle and the assignment. I could see from the look in her eyes. She too, knew exactly what this meeting seemed to be about.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed for the four Marauders. All of them gathered around the tiny first year, looking mildly annoyed.

"What could _you_ have possibly have done?" Tracey Travers sneered at me as I passed her. "Not exactly a poster child for trouble-making, are you?"

I ignored her, clutching my copy of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ tighter as I joined the others.

The tiny first year didn't even look at us as he led the five us back to the castle. He walked several feet ahead of us, far enough for the five of us to talk without him hearing a word of what we said.

"Just keep your cool," Sirius whispered quietly to me, as the five of us walked in tandem. His eyes were trained on the first year in front of us, but he seemed pretty calm overall.

James nodded. "Padfoot's right. Everything will be fine."

"Or it won't and we'll all be expelled," Remus said morosely from James other side. Out of all of us, Remus looked the most concerned by far. His eyes were glued to our first-year escort.

"Cheery thoughts, Moony," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"It's possible," Remus reminded them. "This was a little more serious than dropping dungbombs in there."

" _Serious_ did you say?" Sirius asked excitedly. Remus threw him an exasperated look, and for a moment I was sure he was going to snap something at him. But Remus simply shook his head and looked forward again.

"Probably not the time, Sirius," I whispered him to him quietly. Sirius kept grinning.

I noticed that beside him, Remus looked a lot less confident than his other friends did.

"What are the chances this has nothing to do with last night?" I asked quietly, knowing they were low.

Sirius cracked a smile. "That depends. Have you caused any other trouble you've neglected to tell us about, Meadowes?"

"Not that I can remember off the top of my head," I told him. "But if I think of any I'll be sure to let you know."

Sirius chuckled, and James face filled with more color. Remus gave another little dejected sigh.

"Look at it this way," James said confidently as we rounded the corner. "We will either get away with one of the best pranks we've done, or we'll be expelled. A fifty-fifty chance is nothing to scoff at."

"I'd have liked a little better odds, though" Remus reminded him.

"Expelled?" Peter asked nervously. "Mum'll kill me if I'm expelled."

I nervously yanked the ribbon out of my ponytail and let my hair hang loose at my shoulders, preparing myself for what we were no doubt about to face. I always felt better when my hair was down.

"We all need to stop worrying," I said, channeling whatever stored Gryffindor courage I had. "We are going to be _fine_."

Even though I had said the words, I wasn't sure if I meant them. I didn't regret what we had done the night before. It had been the right thing to do.

"Here, here," Sirius agreed.

The tiny first year rounded another corner and stopped in front of Professor McGonagall's office.

"Wait here, please," he said and disappeared down the corner again.

Lily was sitting on one of the concrete benches in front of McGonagall's office, staring down at the door in front of her. I could see the fear building in her eyes as she stared down Professor McGonagall's office.

I took the seat beside her, and took one of her hands in mine. I could already see they were shaking.

"Oh, good, Doe," Lily said relaxing as she took in the sight of me. Her eyes widened for a moment when she saw the rest of the Marauders lingering too. Peter and Remus had taken seats on one of the other concrete benches, and Sirius and James paced slowly by the door.

"They went and got you lot, too?" Lily asked nervously. "They sent for me in Arithmancy. Mary was with me, so she'll definitely be asking questions now too. You don't think they've figured it out do you?"

Her voice had reached such a high decibel it sounded more like a squeak than talking. She took to nervously chewing on her nails.

I gave her a hand a good squeeze, but only the corners of her mouth seemed to turn into smile. She still looked too nervous. I wished there was a way to convince her that I knew we would be okay. If there was one thing I knew about the Marauders, it was that they planned their mischief well.

"Evans, we are going to be absolutely fine," James said firmly, pushing his glasses up on his face. "So long as we all keep a united front."

Lily blinked at him. "United front? What do you mean by that?"

I could see her desire to argue with James threatening to outweigh her nerves on the given situation. I couldn't help but think a Lily and James row right now, might be a little welcomed. It would certainly help to distract her.

"It means no matter what they say to us, no one goes ratting on the others," Sirius said firmly.

Lily narrowed her eyes at Sirius, "Are you suggesting _I'm_ going to be the one to turn on all of you?"

I knew the hostility in her voice when she spoke to him was a relic of what had happened during the incident at the Whomping Willow with Snape and Sirius.

"You certainly look the most nervous," Sirius pointed out, leaning his weight on the edge of the bench beside me. I gave him a sharp jab in the ribs with my elbow, and he looked down at me with a curt eye roll.

"That's because _I'm_ a prefect," Lily reminded Sirius harshly. "I have more to lose than you do!"

"Trust me, Lily," Sirius said darkly, his eyes narrowing. "No one here has forgotten you're a prefect. It would be pretty hard with how often you go on about it."

Lily's green eyes turned to slits, and she flashed him a look of hatred that she usually reserved for James.

I offered her a pleading look. The last thing I needed right now was to break up a fight between her and Sirius. They were both my friends. I didn't relish the idea of having to choose sides in _that_ fight.

"Can we all just get along, please?" I asked, bringing my knees to my chest so I could think. "Fighting won't help us any."

Remus nodded in agreement, "I second that."

Sirius and Lily both looked over at me wistfully, before going quiet. I breathed a sigh of relief.

James smirked, watching both of our best friend's sneer at one another. "I have to say, it's a little refreshing to be on the other side of that for once," he chuckled. Lily flashed him a scathing glare.

"I don't care _who_ needs me there is no reason for you to _shove me_ ," a loud, confident voice bounded firmly down the corridor, drawing everyone's attention upward.

Marlene rolled her eyes as she stepped away from the tiny first year who led her, focusing instead on the six of us. The first year looked absolutely terrified of her as she stood beside James, making me wonder how rude Marlene had been on her walk up.

He barely looked in her direction as he gave one quick knock on Professor McGonagall's door, and headed the opposite way down the corridor. He practically took out in a run to get away from us.

"What did you do, Marlene?" James asked, having trouble hiding his laughter "jinx the poor kid?"

Marlene fluttered her eyelashes at James and took a seat on the other side of Lily and me.

"How is it my fault that first years are that fragile?" Marlene asked, shaking her golden head, slightly perplexed. "I mean, one firm word and he's reduced to _tears_? No wonder he's a Hufflepuff."

Her comment cracked a smile on everyone's face and James looked especially entertained. "You McKinnon's are something else."

Marlene opened her mouth, about to launch on a diatribe that defended her family name when the door to Professor McGonagall's office opened.

Two Ravenclaw third years scuttled out, not looking at anyone in the hallway for more than a second. That was odd. What was Professor McGonagall doing talking to two third years from another house? If they had done anything to warrant a teacher meeting, wouldn't it have been with Professor Flitwick?

A tall, dark-haired figure walked out of the office next, and the sight of them almost made me bare my teeth. I could think of absolutely no reason why Professor McGonagall would have him in her office.

"Hello, Doe," Rabastan said, as he exited the office, his green eyes fixed on me with more malice than usual.

James sighed. Sirius let out a strange noise from the back of his throat. Peter eyed Rabastan with a strange, reverential fear. Both of my friends had taken to looking at me instead.

"Hello, _Satan_ ," I said evenly, determined to keep my cool. "Or is it _still_ Rabastan? Sorry I always forget which one you go by now."

Both Sirius and James chuckled from beside me, and I smiled knowing that if they were laughing that the jab had to have affected Rabastan at least a little.

Rabastan shook his head and let out a dark little laugh. "You know, Pet. I don't really mind what you call me, so long as you're _moaning it in my ear."_

Lily let out an audible gasp of disgust beside me, and Marlene shook her head furiously. Each of them hated him almost as much as I did, sometimes I thought even more. By now, I was used to the depravity and disgusting nature of the things Rabastan said. But to the people like Lily and Marlene who rarely heard them, they had his desired effect. I had long since been offended by them.

I rolled my eyes at Rabastan's cocky expression. "You _wish_."

"Yes, he does," Sirius almost snorted, his own eyes trained on Rabastan too.

A ripple of fury seemed to cross Rabastan's features at Sirius' words. It took him a second before he could calm it. Lily was still watching Rabastan with a horrified expression, and he noticed.

"Got something to say, _Mudblood?_ " Rabastan hissed in Lily's direction. Her mouth closed immediately, her eyes full of fury.

Rabastan flashed her a wicked smile. His use of the slur had the desired effect on Lily.

"I enjoyed seeing you flat on your arse, Rabastan," James snapped quickly. It was impossible not see the wand that was settled in James' calloused hand, ready to aim and fire. "It would be a shame if it happened again."

Rabastan's green eyes flickered. "Is that an admission of _guilt,_ Potter? If so, I'd save it for your Head of House. She seemed very keen to hear what _I_ had to say."

A flash of fury ripped through me as Rabastan smiled at the group of us. So that's why he had been in there. He was giving Professor McGonagall evidence _against_ us. It made me want to leap up and hex the grin right off his stupid face.

Rabastan's evil smile, widened as he spoke to all of us. "If I were a Gryffindor, I'd watch my back. When we fill your Common Room with blood, it'll be _your own_."

Lily gasped a little, and Marlene's eyes widened. Only James and Sirius seemed to be completely unaffected by his petty threat.

"I'm shaking in my robes, Lestrange," James said flatly. He couldn't have looked less terrified if he tried.

Rabastan stole one last cruel look at me before he turned and disappeared down the corridor. The second he was gone, I was on my feet, staring off after him with the heat of hate flooding through me. It's like he was actually doing his best to make sure I loathed him.

"Rabastan is a real piece of work, isn't he?" Remus said quietly after a minute. His words seemed to echo what everyone was thinking.

Sirius snorted. "Trust me, Moony, you have no idea."

In front of us, the heavy wooden door to the office opened, and Professor McGonagall's stern face appeared.

"Come in and take a seat," she said coarsely, holding the door wide enough for us all to file in.

While normally, two velvet armchairs sat in front of her desk, today they were replaced with seven wooden chairs that looked as if they had been transfigured only moments before. The seven of us took our seats quietly, as Professor McGonagall sat down in front of us.

"I suppose I don't have to tell you lot why I've called you here," she said looking down the front of her spectacles. It was a look of disapproval I had only been on the receiving end of once before, when Sirius and I had snuck out into the Forest on Halloween. Lily, Marlene and I shuddered under the weight of it, but from the way, the Marauders sat up straight, it was clearly something they had grown used too.

"Someone had defaced the Slytherins Common Room," Professor McGonagall repeated, "And while the motivations behind this maneuver may have been righteous. It was not the way to go about it. School rules were broken and property was damaged. I am forced to seek the guilty parties and exact punishment."

Her eyes were unrelenting behind the foggy glass of her eyewear. She stared down at James and Sirius with an unyielding gaze.

"Sorry, Minnie," Sirius started, his mouth turned down into a cocky smile. "But I'm failing to see what this has to do with us?"

Professor McGonagall looked ready to lob her wand straight at his head. "Who _else_ would it be?" she demanded evenly. "I have come to realize that in five years of education you lot, that nine time out of ten you four are always the culprit."

James grinned at her, "Doesn't that mean ten percent of the time we're completely innocent?" he asked cheekily. "This is clearly one of those times, Professor."

It was amazing to watch. Five years of causing trouble had clearly overly prepared the four of them for this moment.

I had to cover my mouth with my hand to hide the pure shock and delight from pouring out of me. Beside me, Lily looked absolutely shell-shocked, and Marlene was giggling. Professor McGonagall let out a low sigh.

Sirius nodded eagerly at Professor McGonagall. "Honestly, Minnie. We're innocent. I'm offended our good names are being slandered this way."

"I don't blame you, of course," he added cheekily, "You are only one wonderful woman, lost in the cogs of a bureaucratic machine."

Professor McGonagall was clutching the quill so tightly in her hand it looked like it was about to snap in half. Not that I blamed her. She was doing remarkably well up against the two of them.

"Surely Professor, you must have some kind of concrete evidence if you're throwing such serious accusations around," James pressed.

Sirius' face turned down into a pout. It looked as if it physically pained him to not be allowed to make a pun about his name. To his credit, he stayed quiet.

Professor McGonagall fixed her steely eyes on James as she spoke. "The seven of you are the only ones who weren't at dinner during the time of the incident," she said firmly.

She looked at them carefully, daring them to correct her. Her long fingers closed over her wand.

"During dinner, you say?" Sirius asked. McGonagall gave a curt nod.

"Well there you go," James said, smiling broadly. "Couldn't have been us. Sirius and I were too busy filling the trophy room with Dungbombs."

Sirius gave a firm shake of his head. "Right you are, Prongs. Filch caught us in the act. Rather unfairly gave us a detention of Friday night for it. You can ask him. I'm sure the old wanker would love to give you all the details."

Professor McGonagall looked stunned they had such a concrete alibi. I was too, for the most part.

"And how do I know you were in fact there the _whole time_?" Professor McGonagall pressed.

Sirius smiled at her. "Simple. The knowledge that two young, courageous Gryffindors would never lie to you, Minnie. We respect you far too much."

Professor McGonagall didn't look convinced at all. If anything, she looked more furious.

"There were about a thousand dung bombs in those trophies," James added quickly. "It took us the whole time. Trust me, that room smelled worse than Severus Snape's hair on a hot day."

Marlene laughed so loudly, it caused Professor McGonagall to give her a cold glare. Marlene managed to conceal it by turning it into a cough. Meanwhile, Lily was staring at James like she could murder him with her bare hands. I suppose she hadn't found the joke very funny.

Professor McGonagall seemed to have accepted their alibi, or could find no hole in it big enough to catch them. She rounded on Peter and Remus, both of whom were red-faced and nervous.

"And you two?" Professor McGonagall asked curtly, "Where were _you_ during dinner?"

Remus offered her an honest look. "I had to skip dinner, Professor. Peter tried to do his own weight loss spell and it went badly wrong. I went to fetch Madam Pompfrey. It took her almost the whole half hour to sort him out."

"He's right," Peter said lifting up his light gray sweater to reveal a splotchy red scar round his middle.

Professor McGonagall sighed. Lily shuddered in her seat at the sight of it. I had to commend Peter on his dedication to the alibi. Whatever he had done to get _that_ scar looked like it had been very painful. With proof like that, and Madam Pompfrey corroborating story, it would be hard to disprove that. Especially on the word, of a prefect like Remus. McGonagall looked very irritated that the four of them had managed to skate by and rounded on Marlene Lily and me.

"You three, however unlikely it might seem, also weren't at dinner," she said firmly. "Where were _you?_ "

Lily answered before Marlene and I had the chance to open our mouths. "We were with Mary in the Hospital Wing, Professor."

 _"_ _The entire time?"_

Lily gave a firm nod, and as she did Rabastan's cruel face flashed through my face. He hadn't seen much but he had seen _me_. That was the chink in our armor.

"I left to get dinner," I told Professor McGonagall quickly, ignoring the looks of bewilderment that crossed the others face.

"I don't recall seeing you at dinner, Ms. Meadowes," Professor McGonagall suggested, giving me a firm look. Behind her, James and Sirius were wide-eyed and shaking their heads at me.

"That's because I never actually made it there," I told her, nodding along firmly. "Rabastan Lestrange stopped me before I could make it to the Great Hall. By the time I was able to get away from him, dinner was over."

"Mr. Lestrange is singing quite a different tune," Professor McGonagall told me evenly. "He claims that _you_ kept _him_ , and that some invisible assailant attacked him."

I raised an eyebrow, doing my best to seem as shocked as I could. "An invisible assailant? He sounds a little mad to me."

"Isn't that one of the first signs of impending insanity?" Sirius added quickly, nodding his head eagerly, as he backed me up. "Seeing and hearing things the no one else can?"

"It is," James nodded. "Surely the word of someone in your own house trumps that's of someone whose concocted an unbelievable story?"

Lily watched the two of them like she could not believe what was happening in front of her eyes. Professor McGonagall seemed to be looking at them the same way. Her eyes narrowed as she looked from each one of us to the next. After a few, everlasting seconds of silence, she let out a low sigh.

"Very well," she said coarsely. "Seeing as you all seem to be able to account for your whereabouts, I have no choice but to let you go."

She cast a dark look at the seven of us. "But be warned," she added quickly, "I will be keeping an eye on you from now on. If I get so much as a _whisper_ of trouble from any one of you..."

There was no need for her to attach a threat to the end of her sentence. Every one of us had known Professor McGonagall long enough to know how firm she was, especially with those of us in her house. She didn't make idle threats.

We all rose and headed for her office door, silent as Professor McGonagall's stern look lingered on us. Just before we left for the corridor, James turned and gave Professor McGonagall a sympathetic look.

"I wouldn't worry too much about what happened to the Slytherins, Professor," James told her bluntly, "Whoever did that to them, probably realized they deserved it after what happened to Mary Macdonald."

It was bold. I would give him that at the very least. James had practically admitted what he done to McGonagall and why.

I expected her to rage back at him, and saddle him with a month's worth of detention, or take a hundred points from Gryffindor at the very least.

But to all of our surprise, she simply pursed her lips and gave James a very knowing look.

"I don't doubt it, Mr. Potter," she said carefully, and with one flick of her wand the door to the office slammed shut leaving all of us in the corridor completely stunned.

There was silence for a second as everyone stared at one other, completely floored, and then Sirius spoke.

"Well, that went well," he whistled happily, looking much more relaxed than he had a few minutes before. Beside him, Remus looked like he was going to leap for joy. James was the only one who looked unaffected.

"Well?" Lily whispered panicked, "McGonagall looked like she was going to throw each one of us out of the castle!"

"But she didn't," James pointed out, heading in the direction of Gryffindor tower, as the rest of us managed to trot behind him. "That's the key thing to remember."

We had been waiting for so long that last lesson was already over. Any second now, the castle would be full of students returning to their dormitories.

"How did you two manage to fill the entire trophy room with dungbombs?" I asked James, knowing full well they hadn't had enough time after what we had done in the Slytherins Common Room.

James gave me a confident smirk. "Easy. Suggested to Peeves that it might irritate Filch and he jumped right to it. We made it back to the trophy room when he was finishing up and took over before Filch got there."

It was clever. I could hardly believe how well their minds seemed to process mischief. I

"I still can't believe we got away with it," Marlene said shaking her head. "We actually got away with it."

"Not if you keep shouting about it to the entire castle," Sirius reminded her, taking the stairs three at a time.

I shook my head. "No, I really think we're okay," I told him. "If Professor McGonagall didn't do anything after what James said, I don't think she ever will."

"Probably because she agrees with what we did," Peter piped up happily. "I mean I know she's Deputy Headmistress and all, but she can't be thick enough to like the Slytherins, can she?"

"No one like the Slytherins, Wormtail," James said casting a very specific look at Lily. She ignored it and bounded forward towards the Portrait of the Fat Lady without another word, the image of Severus Snape no doubt flashing through her mind.

Half the house was in the Common Room when we climbed back through the portrait hole. Krysten Morris was standing in front of the fireplace telling one of her usual, overly-animated stories and had gathered a small audience of avid listeners.

Mary was in the opposite corner, pacing the room in front of an armchair where Landon sat talking to her in a quiet voice. When she spotted us heading over, she gave Landon a firm kick in the shin and sent him in the other direction. He rolled his eyes, but didn't put up much of a fight, joining Frank Longbottom on the other side of the room.

Mary's face was turned down in frustration as we approached her. Her thin, muscled arms were crossed as she raised a thick eyebrow at us. She looked a touch like an irritated Hippogriff, and even Marlene recoiled slightly knowing what was coming.

" _Where_ have you lot been?" she demanded furiously, her voice reaching so loudly, I wouldn't be surprised if they could hear her in the Owlrey. "And don't give me some wishy-washy answer like you have been all day. Something's going on with you three and I want to know what it is."

Marlene let out a defeated sigh, and dropped down into the chair Landon had been occupying a minute ago. Lily joined her, curling up on one of the arms.

Mary turned defiantly to me. "Well?" she asked.

I nodded towards the loveseat on her other side, making sure we were far enough away from a pair of first year's boys who were watching with mild interest. Mary followed me and the moment we were both sat, turned back to me for answers.

"It was us," I whispered quietly, after I was sure no one was listening. "We helped the Marauders. It was our idea."

Mary looked confused for a moment. She opened her mouth to ask another question, and then promptly shut it. Her eyes wide as saucers.

" _You?_ " She whispered hoarsely.

Form the other side of the chair, Marlene chuckled. "Yup." Lily gave a firm nod in agreement.

Mary looked like she was having difficulty keeping it straight. "But why would you do something like that?" she asked quickly. "Aren't you worried about detentions or losing points?"

Marlene snorted from the armchair. "Please. We're not getting caught, Mary. Professor McGonagall already called us into her office and per usual, James and Sirius talked our way out of it."

Marlene nodded over towards the other side of the Common Room where the four Marauders were seated on one of the couches, tossing around a golden snitch and looking very relaxed. Those were not the faces of people who were worried of being tossed out of Hogwarts. Mary seemed to sense this and turned back to us, less frantic than she had been a moment before.

"But I don't understand," she said quickly. "Why would you lot get involved in something like _that?_ " She looked genuinely confused, as if none of this made any sense to her.

"Isn't it obvious, Mare?" I said firmly, amazed that she hadn't put it together yet. Mary was usually very on top of things like this. "We did it for you. Because the Slytherins had to know what they did to you was wrong."

Mary was silent and unmoving for a moment. Her face was blank as she stared back and forth from me, Lily and Marlene. Then her face screwed up for a moment and she began to sob.

"I….. don't…know what to…..say," she blurted, wiping her face with her hands as the tears continued to flow. "You three….are such…. _sniff_ …good… _friends!_ "

"Aw, Mary. Don't cry!" Lily said, practically flying from her spot in the charm to be at Mary's side. Marlene followed suit, and the three of us were now curled up all around Mary as she continued to hiccup and cry.

Mary stopped sobbing long enough to throw her arms around the three of us, pulling us into a bone-crushing, tear filled, hug.

"I don't deserve you lot," Mary wailed, not loosening her grip on any of us.

"Don't be thick," Marlene told her sternly. "Of course, you do."

"I swear it, Mary," I added. That only seemed to make her cry harder. The four of us ignored the looks we were getting from the two first year boys and stayed curled up on the floor, letting Mary cry it out until she seemingly ran out.

None of us minded. We were just happy that she was happy. We spent the rest of the evening curled up together on the Common Room floor, talking and laughing. For the first time in a while, we had nothing dark or terrible looming over us, and we made a point to enjoy it.

* * *

A new sort of trepidation had filled the castle in the last few weeks. It seemed very apparent, that everyone in fifth year hadn't realized just how _soo_ n O.W.L.'s were approaching. They were only a few weeks away now, and everyone had become very panicked and nervous, carrying around old Charms notes with them everywhere they went and reciting the twelve uses of Dragon's blood under their breath as they moved between classes.

Our teachers seemed to sense this change and responded by assigning more reading and reviews then I had ever before had to do at Hogwarts.

As a former examiner herself, Professor Marchbanks seemed to know quite a bit about the exams alternating between reviews easily.

Professor McGonagall had us re-reading a hundred pages a night and reviewing three spells every class. Professor Flitwick spent each of his classes, going over five charms spells we had already learned, and Professor Sinistra was giving us weekly quizzes on Astronomy, forcing us to memorize all of the planetary movements and moons.

To my horror, Professor Sprout's reviews had even included having us take common O.W.L. level plants back to our dormitories to study them for longer. There was a nasty potted seedling of Devil's Snare sitting on my nightstand that hissed at me every night when I tried to feed it.

But the teacher's studying method were nothing compared to what the Prefects were doing. You hardly ever saw them anymore. Each of them seemed to spend every free moment they had buried in a book.

Lily especially had taken a very organized, and practical approach to studying. She never went anywhere, even meals, without a stack of textbooks and leaflets of notes. She had even made Marlene, Mary and I each a detailed study schedule that was so time-consuming and arduous, Marlene resorted to crying into her arm when she saw it.

"I'm going to fail everything!" Marlene had cried, her golden head bobbing up and down with each sob. "There's no way I can learn all of this in time!"

"You don't have to learn it all," I had reassured her, patting her head. "You already learned it, Marls. Think of this as a refresher."

Marlene had looked at the study schedule, which had allotted six hours of Potions studying that evening and gave another sad wail. "I'm going to be a dishwasher at the Leaky Cauldron!"

Landon then, who already was spending every night helping Mary study his old notes and reviews, offered his teary-eyed sister his Potions notes from the year before.

But even Marlene wasn't as badly off as Peter Pettigrew. He spent half his time sobbing over his notes and accidently setting things on fire every time he tried to practice any spell with his wand.

Some people, like Mafalda Hopkirk and Odie Macmillan were forming giant study groups in the library, where they spent hours going every question on every exam we had ever taken. I found the groups to be distracting and a little redundant. There were too many people involved to get any real studying done.

I spent most of my time studying on my own or with Sirius on our own during our regular tutoring sessions. Sirius complained endlessly about it, only studying for the first fifteen minutes or so and then using the next hour and a half to try and distract me with small talk. When Sirius and I finished and he headed back to the Common Room to find James, I would join Lily and Remus in the back of the library, where the two of them were always buried behind giant stacks of textbooks. I liked studying with the two of them. Unlike Sirius, I didn't have to prod them in it, and we worked well as a team.

While all of the fifth years were stressed, no one seemed more overworked than Amelia. She spent every Care of Magical Creatures lesson we had practically on the verge of a breakdown.

"How am I supposed to get twelve O.W.L.s?" Amelia demanded nervously as Professor Kettleburn gave an insightful review on Unicorns. "Edgar got Twelve O's, so you know my parents are going to expect that from me too! And I'm probably going to fail!"

"Amelia, you are not going to fail," I told her firmly, holding her shoulders. "You're brilliant, and you still have loads of time to study."

She had looked on the verge of a panic attack so I had invited her to join Lily and Remus in the library when we studied, and promised her that she could come with me to Hagrid's on Friday night to review for Care of Magical Creatures.

When Friday rolled around, Amelia and I followed Hagrid around the grounds in our jackets as he tended to a colony of flobberworms, listening intently as he went on and on about the Magical Creatures we were most likely to encounter on our exams. Hagrid knew as much as Professor Kettleburn about all the creatures we had studied, probably more, and by the end of the night we felt immensely more prepared than we had before. Amelia was so thrilled she had given Hagrid a giant hug, making him beam with pride.

I was tired, hungry and exhausted when Amelia and I bade goodbye at the stairs and I headed back for the Common Room, clutching a giant Defense Against the Dark Arts book in my arms. I was only half-finished with it and Professor Marchbanks had _strongly_ suggested we finish it before class on Monday.

Marlene was heading for the stairs at the same time I was, a flustered irritated expression on her face as she did. A group of people were behind her, all of them having come from an empty classroom on the first floor.

Professor McGonagall had forced anyone who had gotten lower than an A on the last Transfiguration review to sit through an additional study session, and Marlene, having gotten a P, despised them.

"How was your study session?" I asked, already knowing the from the look of pure annoyance on her face.

"Awful," Marlene swore sourly. "Everyone in there is still better off than me. Even Xeno Lovegood. They all think I'm stupid. You should have seen the pompous look that Hexar Smith gave me when I missed the question on transfiguring mice into snuffboxes." Marlene gave a sad eye roll.

"You are _not_ stupid, Marlene" I told her, stopping on the stairs and taking her arm so she had to look me in the eye. "Okay? And I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. You are smart, and you're going to pass."

Marlene's eyes brightened, the trace of a smile appearing on her face at my words.

"We can go right up to the Common Room and study together for the rest of the evening if you want," I told her, mentally putting off finishing the Defense book for tomorrow.

Marlene gave a dejected nod. "Thanks, Doe. I really appreciate it."

I gave her a wrist a squeeze and nodded, the two of us heading back up the stairs. We had only climbed three of them when a loud voice called out behind us.

 _"_ _Hey Doe! Doe! Hold on a moment!"_

Sybil Trelawney was racing up the stairs behind us, her eyes screwed up in concentration behind the thick reflective lenses of her glasses, and her bushy hair billowing out beside her. She had clearly just come from the Transfiguration review. Her arms, covered up to the elbow in wooden and gold bangles, we're clutching several Guide to Transfiguration volumes.

I sighed, as I waited for her to catch up to us. I rarely had the patience to deal with Sybil on a normal day, especially not one where I was already hungry and exhausted. It wasn't that Sybil wasn't a nice person, she just lacked tact. She always telling someone some ridiculous, and usually dire predication she had about them, that most of the time came off slightly rude. Marlene, who had a particular dislike for her, stared down at her haughtily as she approached us.

I did my best to manage a smile, as Sybil stopped in front of us, catching her breath and clutching at a stitch in her side.

"Hi Sybil. How are you?"

She clutched at her chest, one hand on her hip. "Oh, not very good, I'm afraid. It's the stress of all these exams in the air. It makes my inner eye act up. Too many predictions for me to manage. I just saw about an hour ago that poor Odie Macmillan will be failing his Potions exam." Sybil gave a sad shake of her head.

I didn't quite know what to say to that. I was pretty sure Odie Macmillan was a decent student and doubted that he would be failing any of his exams, no matter what Sybil's inner eye told her.

"Maybe your inner eye should mind its own business," Marlene snapped quietly under her breath. She grinned as I faked a cough to hide the giggle that had fallen from my lips before I could stop it.

Sybil didn't notice. She was staring too intently at me, surveying me in a way that almost made me uncomfortable. She gave me a sad, reproachful smile, her eyes twinkling beneath her massive glasses.

"That must be tough," I told her softly, desperate to get her to stop looking at me like that. "So, what can I do for you?"

Sybil's face changed instantly. She no longer looked happy or like she was in the mood to chat. With a strange amount of urgency, she reached forward to and locked her hand around my forearm in a vice-like grip.

"I had a premonition about you, earlier" she warned me in a strange voice, her heavily ringed fingers still clutching at me.

Her eyes had gone glassy and her face was white. I desperately wanted to rip my arm away from her but couldn't find a way to do it without being rude.

"Very soon, one of your friends will betray you," Sybil said ominously, "I would be very careful if I were you."

Sybil's eyes were pouring into mine as she spoke. Marlene let out a shriek of derisive laughter and ripped my arm free from Sybil's grasp, stepping in front of me.

"Sod off, Sybil," she snapped at her, her face twisted with annoyance and rage. "Haven't you got anything better to do than run around ruining people's days?"

Sybil yanked her arm away from Marlene and held her head high, sniffing at her like she was a flobberworm.

"Just because you are too ignorant to appreciate my predictions, doesn't mean that everyone is," she said firmly, the dreamlike quality of her voice replaced with something much harder.

" _Predictions,"_ Marlene snorted, her amber eyes rolling. "Right. More like lies. If everything you say is true, I'll be dead before I'm thirty."

"You would think you'd take my warnings to heart, Marlene," Sybil said shaking her head. "And anyway, I didn't come here for _you_." She turned pointedly away from Marlene to face me, her expression considerably nicer. "I hope you heed the warning, _Doe._ "

She was looking at me again with that strange expression so I gave a firm nod of my head, doing my best not to visibly show just how mad I thought she was.

"Well thanks, Sybil. I…uh…appreciate the gesture," I said, giving her a small smile.

Sybil let out a lofty sigh and nodded her head. She turned on her heels, making sure to give Marlene a cruel look before she skipped back down the stairs and made her way in the direction of Ravenclaw tower. Once she was out of earshot I shook my head. "What a nutter."

Marlene nodded eagerly as we headed back up the stairs toward the Common Room. "Honestly. You know in that tutoring session she told Xeno Lovegood that she predicted he would get the answer wrong? He wasn't even paying attention! Anyone could have guessed that. I swear she just runs around doing it for attention. Just because her great, great grandmother was a seer, doesn't mean she is. What kind of gift skips _three_ generations!?"

Marlene ranted about Sybil until we made it to the Fat Lady, still laughing slightly as she recounted some of her more ludicrous predictions she had made over the years.

"Slytherins suck," I told the Fat Lady, repeating the password that Frank Longbottom had changed two mornings ago.

"Astute observation," the Fat Lady said, swinging open carefully.

The Common Room was crowded tonight, just like it was every Friday Night. The fifth years were easily distinguishable, because instead of enjoying Fabian and Gideon Prewett's faux duel with umbrella's, they were the ones buried in books.

Alice and Rylie were sitting on one of the couches in the far corner of the room, reciting facts from the Goblin Wars of 1812, and Caradoc Dearborn had a Potions book open in his lap listening intently as Hestia told him what she could remember from last year's exam. Remus and Peter were sitting on another couch across from Mary and Lily, all of them buried in books of their own. Even James was sitting cross legged on the floor, reading a battered set of defense notes.

The only fifth year in the entire room who seemed not be studying at all, was Sirius. He was sitting in one of the large, squish armchairs, legs hanging lazily over one of the arms. He wore a haughty expression, slowly tossing his wand in the air and catching it with ease.

"You're not studying?" I asked him, curling up on the floor in front of his chair. Marlene sat down beside me.

" _Please_ don't get him started," Remus begged from the couch, his eyes darker than usual. It made me wonder if the full moon was coming soon.

Sirius rolled his eyes at his friend and turned to face me. "No, Meadowes. I don't need to study. I'm going to get an outstanding in everything."

"Yeah?" I asked raising an eyebrow in his direction. "How do you figure that?"

Sirius' eyes twinkled with excitement. "I was hoping you'd ask that," He ruffled the top of my head, and flashed me a confident smile. "You see, darling Doe. I am rather brilliant."

Both James and Remus groaned, not looking up what they were reading. Peter giggled.

"You're also lazy."

"I resent that, Meadowes. Stop trying to diminish my natural intelligence."

"It's going to be interesting to see you as a fifth year again," I told him opening my notes to find some things for Marlene to study.

Across from us Lily let out a tiny sigh and closed her copy Intermediate Transfiguration, her fingers moving to rub at her temples.

"You know Evans, I'm pretty good at Transfiguration," James grinned from his armchair. "I could help you study. A little private session, you and me."

Lily scowled at him. "I would rather fail than get help from you, Potter."

"You and I both know that a lie. You've never failed an exam in your life, Lilykins," James winked at her seductively. Lily scowled again and reopened her book, determined not to look back up from it.

Remus was now filing through a folder, and unearthed a large set of Herbology notes. "I found those notes you asked for yesterday, Doe," he said handing them to me across the coffee table.

I took them gratefully, knowing full well that Herbology was one of the exams I needed to practice the most for. I was having nightmares about the practical already.

"Thank you, Remus. You're a lifesaver," I told him.

"That's what my friends call me, Remus Lifesaver Lupin."

"Well, it suits you."

I spent the rest of the evening trying to explain most of our fourth year Transfiguration curriculum to Marlene for hours while she stared back at me blankly. Eventually James took pity on her, and gave her a very detailed set of his transfiguration notes, sitting with her and explaining everything she had questions on. It was a kind thing of him to do, and I noticed that while he did it Lily stared at the two of them with a strange little expression on her face.

Halfway through, Sirius announced he had an errand to run and headed off towards the Portrait Hole with a confident stroll.

"Yeah if you can classify sneaking into Tydie Fuller's bed an errand!" James had called to him. Sirius flashed him a cocky smile and disappeared from the room.

Most of the fifth years stayed up well past midnight. It was until the clock started inching past two that Lily and I finally gave up and followed Marlene and Mary up the stairs to our dormitory, falling asleep the moment our heads hit the pillow.

I knew I was dreaming the moment the fuzzy scene entered my head hours later, like it had been hovering there all day, waiting for me to dare and fall asleep.

 _"_ _You dare bring her here, Aurelia?" the man hissed at my mother in the alley. It was warm. Warmer than I remembered. Summer time._

 _We were standing in one of the alleys off of Diagon Alley. My mother clutched at my shoulder, keeping me firmly behind her, as she hissed at the man in front of her. I could hardly be older than eleven._

 _The man stood taller than us both, a brute of a person. He looked exactly like my mother, though his face was covered in a fur of thick blonde facial hair. He wore thick black and green velvet robes, clutching a heavy black, hawthorne wand. He stared back at my mother and me with absolute disgust and fury._

 _"_ _I will not be afraid to take my family_ _ **anywhere**_ _, Auberon," my mother snapped. "I find it truly disgusting that after all this time, you copy mother's prejudice."_

 _I noticed her wand was clutched firmly in her hand as she spoke to him_

 _"_ _Mother's prejudice?" Auberon demanded, letting out a cruel laugh. "Has that_ _ **Mudblood**_ _been confounding you, Aurelia?"_

 _My mother gave a visual shudder at the word. I had no idea what it meant. I was confused._

 _"_ _You're the one who dirtying the family's name," Auberon continued, seemingly pleased to see my mother rattled. "Soiling yourself with that glorified muggle, and parading your half-blood abomination in the streets like it isn't an embarrassment to all of us!"_

 _My mother shuddered again, pulling me further behind her. "How. Dare. You." She hissed, baring her teeth, her wand raising._

 _Auberon barely looked at it. "I'll be telling Aubleus I saw you," he said cooly. "he's been dying to see you. Says he owes you one for what you did to mother and father."_

 _This was the only time I had ever seen any fear register on my mother's face. "If you tell him you saw me, you know what he'll do, Auberon. You know how far he'll take it. What he always does," her voice quivered. "I'm your sister."_

 _"_ _I have no sister," Auberon said. "You deserve what's coming, Aurelia."_

I woke up screaming. My hand clutching desperately at the sheets as my throat felt raw. My chest was rising and falling, as I sat up. That was another memory. That had happened. The summer before I started Hogwarts. I _remembered_ it.

My uncle Auberon had threatened my mother. He had told Aubleus where to find her. My heart raced in my chest. But I had already known these things. I had seen them before.

 _It was nightmare_ , I reminded myself quickly, wrapping my arms around my legs. Just a nightmare. There was light pouring in from the window beside me, reminding me that it wasn't that summery day four years ago in Diagon Alley. I was at Hogwarts.

"You okay?" Marlene asked sleepily, rolling over to look at me. Her eyes were drooping slightly as she slowly blinked. Mary and Lily were fast asleep beside her, and Rylie and Alice's beds were already made and empty. They were always up early on weekends.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to sleep, Marls."

Marlene was still sleepy enough that she rolled back over in bed and was snoring again in seconds. I ran my hands over my face trying to calm myself down. It had been a few months now since I had had one of those vivid nightmares about my parents, and I hadn't been prepared for it.

I supposed it was the stress of exams that had caused it. Lack of sleep and stress were always triggers for my nightmares. I hoped desperately that once the O.W.L.s were over, I wouldn't have to deal with that again.

I decided to take a hot shower while everyone else was still asleep. The steam helped clear my head and I did my best to let the vivid images of the nightmare drift out of my head, as I brushed my hair and put on some dry clothes.

The Common Room was relatively empty when I skipped downstairs. Only a few stragglers here and there were scattered around. I decided to try and get some homework done while I waited for my friends to wake up for breakfast.

All of the studying for the O.W.L.s had been such a priority that I had neglected to finish my labeled sketch of the Bowtruckle for Care of Magical Creatures. I took out the parchment and my book and went to work at trying to replicate the drawing from memory.

"The body needs to be a little longer," a chipper voice said behind me, as my quill sketched across the parchment.

Gideon Prewett was leaned over the back of my armchair, smiling widely as he pointed to the Bowtruckle's middle section with a freckled finger.

I felt the color rise to my cheeks at his appearance, trying my best not to act too nervously. I was very acutely aware of the fact that my hair was still damp from the shower and I was wearing an old Hogwarts jumper from third year. It seemed a cruel twist of fate that very time Gideon and I were together, it always managed to be when I was doing something or looked ridiculous.

"Oh," I said surveying the sketch with the new information. "Thanks. It's been awhile since I had seen them."

I quickly fixed the drawing, feeling a touch of nerves as Gideon smiled down at it, still leaning over the back of my chair for support.

"No, problem. I love bowtruckles," Gideon told me happily. "Cute little things, aren't they?" He seemed genuinely happy to be talking about them and smiled at me with more enthusiasm than I had been expecting.

"When they're not flashing those claws about, they're downright adorable," I agreed.

Gideon let out a low chuckle, amused. "They only attack when provoked, Doe. I don't think you've got anything to worry about unless you're dumb enough to go ripping off one of their twigs."

I cracked a smile. "Trust me, I don't plan on it."

Gideon smiled appreciatively. "Good to hear. I'd study up on them if I were you, They're nearly always on the O.W.L.s. Last year we had to feed them wood lice during the practical and Otto ended up with a bad case of lice for the rest of the week."

I laughed, imaging the idea of Otto Bagman fishing through his hair with a comb and using his extensive vocabulary of swear words to curse both the Bowtruckles and the O.W.L.s.

"That sounds like something that would happen to Otto," I said, smiling.

Gideon grinned, his smile stretching to reveal his dimples. "Doesn't it? Still didn't miss the Quidditch game that weekend though."

"Well _that_ doesn't surprise me one bit," I told Gideon with a careful shake of my head. "I'd be downright disappointed if he let a tiny bit of wood lice keep him from the stands."

"He's nearly as dedicated to the game as you are," Gideon offered cheekily, wiggling one of his thick ginger eyebrows at me.

"Only nearly."

Gideon brandished a wide smile, and I felt a little color rise to my cheeks. His hair was hung loosely around his shoulder, looking particular nice today.

"You know," Gideon said quickly. "If you need any help studying for the O.W.L.s I'd be more than happy to help. I got an O on my Care of Magical Creatures exam last year, and I wouldn't mind going over some of it with you. It would be fun, even."

He looked very casual about it. A smile stretching across his handsome face as he spoke.

The offer took me by surprise. I studied his face for half a second trying to decipher whether he was simply being kind by offering or if this invitation meant something a little more. I certainly hoped it did.

"Yeah, I'd like that," I said brightly. "Thanks, Gideon."

"It's no problem, Doe," Gideon pressed firmly. "Spending time with you is certainly no skin off my back." He chuckled as I felt my cheeks burn bright crimson.

Before I could say anything else, the door to Common Room opened and Sirius scampered back through the portrait hole, still wearing yesterday's robes.

He gave a long, loud yawn as climbed in, and made his way towards Gideon and I, an eyebrow raised as he did. Gideon seemed to shift slightly, so that he wasn't draped as comfortably over the back of my chair as he had been a minute ago.

"Morning Prewett," Sirius gave a quick nod in Gideon's direction, flashing Gideon a smirk that the sixth year didn't seem to fully return.

"Sirius," he said evenly, only the corners of his mouth seemed to be turned into a smile. He looked sufficiently less thrilled than he had a moment before.

Sirius plopped himself down on the side of my armchair so he was half-leaning on me. "Morning, Doe," he said lazily, stifling a loud yawn.

Gideon seemed to stiffen slightly, casting a look between Sirius and I.

"I'll see you two around later," Gideon said enthusiastically. "Let me know if you need that help, Doe."

"I will. Thanks, Gideon!"

Gideon smiled at me once more and then disappeared back through the portrait hole. Beside me Sirius let out another yawn.

"I didn't know you and Prewett were friends."

I gave a small nod, feeling strange trying to explain how I thought about Gideon Prewett. Friends of not, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach that I didn't quite understand at the idea of talking to Sirius about him. "Sort of," I said evenly, "He's nice."

Sirius gave a noncommittal shrug, and let his head fall onto the back of the chair. "Merlin, I'm tired."

"That's probably because you spent all night with Tydie Fuller," I told him, surveying his disheveled appearance with slight judgement. "It's interesting catching you in your walk of shame."

" _Shame?_ " Sirius snorted, looking highly amused as he let his head drop onto my shoulder. "Never, Meadowes. It's a walk of pride. Have you seen Tydie Fuller lately? She's nearly as fit as _you_ are."

"Flattering me won't make think you're any less foul than I already do."

"Who are you kidding? Yes, it will."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You know, one of these days you're going to cycle through all of the girls in this castle who are willing to sleep with you, and then what will you do?"

"Dunno," Sirius said, giving me a look that suggested this was highly unlikely. "Chuck myself off the Astronomy Tower?"

"Well, if you do, leave me your broomstick in the will, would you?"

Sirius' shoulders shook as he threw his head back in laughter. "You know what, Meadowes? I reckon the longer we're friends, the more like me you're becoming."

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Of the highest order, darling."

* * *

Sunday was the first truly warm day we had in the castle for weeks, and every one of the fifth years were far too busy to properly enjoy it.

Sirius had suggested a game of Quidditch on the pitch but everyone was far too busy studying to for the exams to even consider it, though James eyes did sparkle before he turned the idea down.

Some of the Hufflepuffs had decided to bring their notes and spokes out on the grounds to soak up the sun while they studied, but soon it became too noisy and windy for that idea to take root.

Lily, Marlene, Mary and I had decided to spend the morning in Slughorn's classroom, trying our hands at some of the Common O.W.L. potions. Lily of course, had mastered everyone and still managed to make sure the three of us had gotten down the basic principles. By the time we left the classroom for lunch, even Marlene was more relaxed than she had been before.

"Did you see my potion?" she boasted happily, skipping down the corridor on long legs. "It was the right shade of violet and everything!"

"It was excellent, Marlene," Lily agreed. "You're really improving!"

I nodded eagerly. "Honestly, Marls. If you keep this up, I bet you'll get an E on the exam."

Mary snorted and flashed a grin at the pair of us. "Let's not get carried away now," she joked, "It's still _Marlene_ after all."

Mary had to jump three feet into the air to avoid the quill that Marlene tossed at her, chuckling away. "I resent that, Macdonald," she said confidently. "I am going to fine. At least better than Reggie Cattermole at the very least."

"That's the goal, isn't it?" Mary agreed. "To always do better than Reggie Cattermole?" Marlene gave a firm nod and skipped ahead.

"I thought it was just to pass period?" I asked, "Why bring poor Reggie into it."

Marlene gave an enthusiastic eye roll. "Because, sweet Doe. Reginald Cattermole is the yardstick for failure in terms of our magical education."

"Oh, of course. How could I have _possibly_ missed that?"

"No idea, really."

The Entrance Hall was littered with people when we approached it. Lunch was almost over now and most of the school seemed to have left the Great Hall already. But a strange number seemed to be lingering in the entrance.

All of them were clustered in tight groups whispering about something with a strange sense of urgency that the made the four of us stop dead in our tracks. Whenever people were whispering like that, it never meant anything good. In Hogwarts, gossip spread like Wildfire. Lately, it seemed like it was very rarely good news.

"No one else has died, have they?" Mary asked quickly, her tone filled with morose. I could tell from the look on her face that she couldn't handle any more death or tragedies with the weight of exams still hanging in the air.

"We'd have heard about it in the Daily Prophet this morning if they had," Lily pointed out, watching as the groups of people gossiping were slowly stopping.

"Maybe they've cancelled our exams," Marlene said hopefully, an excitement forming in her eyes at the possibility.

I shook my head. "There'd be cheering if that were the case. Everyone looks a little quiet for that, don't you think?"

Marlene sighed dutifully. "Shame."

The longer we were stopped in the Entrance Hall the more the gossip and chatter immediately started to die down. In fact it seemed like everyone in the hall had suddenly turned to whispers or gone stark silent as each of their faces turned towards us, their eyes skipping over Lily, Marlene and Mary….

"Are they looking at…..?" Lily began, noticing the same thing I was.

"Us," I answered quickly, feeling every pair of eyes focus on _me._

I felt my chest tighten with nerves, unsure of why the groups of people were suddenly looking at me with such pitiful and interested expressions.

Every voice had turned to whispers now, behind hands and directly into each other's ears. It seemed everyone in the entrance hall was now staring at me.

Marlene looked perplexed. "Why are they all looking at you like that?" Marlene asked, as the staring continued, making me shudder.

I shook my head, still just as in the dark as she was. But whatever it was, it couldn't be good. I didn't like the looks that people were giving me. A couple of students had the decency to slink past while they stared, but others stayed huddled in the corners, practically pointed as they whispered.

"Honestly," Lily pressed. "What's going on here?"

Damocles Belby seemed to answer the question, striding over to us with his friend Thomas Nott at his sides. I had a particularly strong dislike for Belby ever since I had found out about _Don't'kiss Meadnos_ and raised an eyebrow at him as he stopped in front of me, staring like everyone else was.

"So, is it true then?" Belby asked rudely at me.

I blinked at him, having absolutely no idea what he was talking about. I hadn't spoken to Belby in weeks, and certainly not about anything regarding _me._ Suddenly, the entire situation was starting to make me extremely nervous. What was this all about? Why was everyone looking at _me._

"I'm not a mind-reader Damocles," I told him quickly, trying to hide the fear lodged in my throat. "You're going to have to be a bit more specific."

Everyone in the hall wasn't just looking at me now. They were staring, blatantly. Their eyes were wide as they observed every second of our exchange.

Belby looked annoyed, as if I should have known what he was talking about from the get go.

Belby's eyebrow raised to show his peaked curiosity.

"Is it true you live in an _orphanage?_ " he asked, a clear sneer in his tone.

The question felt like someone had come up behind me and knocked into my knees. It felt like a heavy weight had slipped onto my chest making it so that I couldn't breathe, or talk, or move.

I was frozen, stunned silent by shock. My lips seemed to unfreeze first, as I could feel the bottom one quiver. I was vaguely aware of the feeling of Lily's hand on my arm, and of Marlene saying my name softly in the background. Not that I seemed able to respond. My brain was spinning too fast for my body to catch up. My heart was beating too fast.

So _that's_ why everyone was looking at me. Why they were whispering and staring. Everyone in the hall knew that I had no _home_. No _family_. No one outside of these four walls who cared whether I lived or died. By dinner, everyone in the castle would know.

It took seconds for the feeling to lift and the shock to turn to pure undiluted rage. My heart was pounding so fast, with the speed of my fury that I could hear it ringing in my ears like a screeching alarm.

"I'll take that as a yes then," Belby said pompously. Marlene looked like she considered decking him in the face for a moment. Lily and Mary were too busy watching me. My lips twitched slightly. I could only think of one thing now.

"Who told you that?" I whispered to Belby, my voice cracking as I did.

I feared I already knew the answer. I could hear his name echoing in my head over and over, but I still desperately hoped for an alternative.

"Sirius Black told me," Belby said, almost proudly. "Not that it matters much."

At my sides, my fingers curled into fists. A wave of betrayal washed over me for a moment, stinging and biting at my cheeks as they flashed pink, as my lips parted, my mouth hanging open in surprise. I only allowed myself to feel it for a minute, before I turned on my heels and headed for the Common Room, desperate to find the person who had betrayed my trust.


	19. Cold

**Authors Note: Sorry for the long update. I will have another one up very soon to make up for it! Also, hang in there. I promise whats going on with Doe and Sirius won't last forever. It's a long story.**

19

Cold

The ringing in my ears didn't stop as I sprinted my way back towards Gryffindor Tower. It had only intensified, pounding so hard against my skull and ear drums that I was having difficulty hearing even my own thoughts raging inside my head. Not that they were pretty. Every single one of them was a swearing string of insults ready to fling themselves at Sirius Black the moment I found him.

It was all I could focus on. He had to be around somewhere. I'd check the Common Room first, and then maybe the grounds. I didn't care where he was. I'd find him. If he was practicing Quidditch, I'd grab a broom and round on him in the skies.

The rage twitching in my fingertips was slowly inching up through my fingers and hands, making it hard to even hold my wand as I walked. I could hardly believe the anger that was ripping through my body. I had only ever felt like this when I thought of Aubleus. I never thought this feeling would return when thinking of a house mate. Someone, who up until a few seconds ago, I had considered a _friend._

"Doe, hold on!" Lily called trotting beside me, doing her best to keep up with my strides. "What are you doing?"

"Isn't is obvious?" I asked as I pushed my way through a group of giggling first years. They took one look at my murderous expression, and parted. "I'm going to find Sirius, and _kill him."_

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my friends exchange a look between the three of them, and I didn't care.

The hate that was lodged in my throat this whole time seemed to have finally ripped open into my mouth, making me feel like I could spit fire.

"Are you sure you want to confront him now?" pressed Lily. "Shouldn't you take some time and cool off?"

She had stopped in the middle of the corridor, her tiny hand clasped around my forearm in an attempt I'm sure to calm me. But it only made me want to toss it off.

"No," I told her firmly, struggling to keep my rage from spilling out at her. "I don't want to _cool off_. He told everyone about the orphanage!"

Lily opened her mouth and looked like she wanted to say something else, but Marlene grabbed her back with a tiny shake of her head. Mary looked uncertain of what to do.

I didn't wait for any of them to give me any more well-meaning advice. I turned straight on my heels heading back for the Common Room.

The Fat Lady didn't hold me up today with any meaningless chatter. She seemed to sense that I wasn't in the mood for it, and swung open as soon as I uttered the password.

The Common Room was fairly crowded, though quieter than it usually was. All of the fifth and seventh years were busy studying for exams and it seemed as if the rest of the House was listening to an Ireland Quidditch match on the Wizarding Wireless.

But it was only the back corner of the room that interested me. The Marauders were sitting with Caradoc and Frank, an assortment of textbooks and quills spread all around them. Most of them looked anxious and stressed, but Sirius sat on the corner of his chair, apparently telling an animated story with his hands.

I felt a tremor of fury seeing the smile on his face. How could he be sitting there so bold, after what he had done?

I crossed the room in seconds, while my friends clambered through the portrait hole, watching in horror as I approached Sirius.

"…...so then Prongs and I ducked under the staircase to hide from Filch, but the trouble is it started to move!" Sirius guaffed, and the others laughed, enjoying the anecdote I walked in on.

Sirius smiled when he saw me.

"Hey, Meadowes. What's with the face?" he asked, surveying the half-scowl, half-pout pressed upon my features. He seemed completely normal.

" _Hey?_ " I asked in absolute disbelief at the size of his balls. "Are you kidding me? That's _all_ you have to say to me?"

I thought it was a miracle I had managed to keep my cool. I had been sure I was going to shout or cry, or both.

Everyone in his group was staring at me now, and some of the people clustered closer in the room looked on with mild interest. I barely noticed any of them. I was too focused on Sirius.

"Should I be saying something else?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. "Were you hoping for something dirtier? Because say the word, Doe." He flashed me a cocky smile, the one he usually wore when he was about to flirt or make some otherwise cheeky comment.

My mouth fell open in disbelief. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. Either Damocles was lying and Sirius had no idea what I was talking about, or he was the most, selfish apathetic person I had ever met. I hoped for the former, even though I knew how unlikely it was.

I could feel all of the emotions I had submerged threatening to spill back over. I had to cross my arms in order to keep from crying. How could he sit there and act like he hadn't betrayed every trust I had put in him?

Sirius blinked in confusion. "Honestly, Meadowes. I have no idea what you're talking about. What's got your wand in such a knot?"

 _Maybe he doesn't know what you're talking about_ , piped the tiny voice in my head. The hopeful optimistic one who wanted to believe that friendship and loyalty were iron clad agreements. But I knew better than that. How else would Damocles have known? The only other people who knew were teachers, or my friends. Both of whom I knew would never dream of divulging my secret. It _had_ to be Sirius.

My voice was hard, barely above a whisper when I answered him. "Did you or did you not tell Damocles Belby that _I live in an orphanage_?" I hissed. The words felt like they burned my throat on the way out. I had never said them above a whisper before.

Sirius' face changed immediately. Any color or trace of humor that had been there a moment before, promptly disappeared. His eyes widened, and he turned back to James for a fraction of a second, before he spoke to me.

"Listen Doe, what you have to understand about that," Sirius started, but I cut him off.

 _"_ _Did you, or didn't you?"_ I demanded, biting the inside of my cheek. I was sure all of the Common Room was staring at us now, but I didn't dare look up to find out.

"It just sort of slipped out," Sirius said firmly, his eyes locked on mine in a strange sort of desperation. "Belby was going on and on about how you don't do anything in the summers, and how you never come to Dearborn's parties and he called you uptight, and it was driving everyone mad. I was defending you when I told him it wasn't your choice, because of where you lived. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, honest."

I didn't have to look up to know that everyone in the room was staring. The entire Common Room had gone eerily silent as everyone quieted to watch the scene that was enfolding in front of them.

The tiny sliver of hope I had been holding on to, the one that had hoped this was all some egregious misunderstanding and that Sirius had been innocent, shredded in front of me.

"Not a _big deal?"_ I demanded, my voice cracking as I became more upset. "How could that not be a big deal? I _trusted_ you, and you swore you wouldn't say anything!"  
Sirius blinked, watching in horror as I became more upset. Lily was hovering a few feet away beside Marlene and Mary, looking like it took everything inside of her not to leap forward and rip me away from Sirius.

"Belby _swore_ he wasn't going to tell anyone," Sirius offered up, as if this somehow absolved him from guilt. He was watching me with an almost unreadable expression.

"Well he lied, Sirius!" I snapped, my voice now breathy and barely audible, "He told the entire Great Hall!"

A few fat tears leaked from the corners of my eyes before I could stop them, and they rolled down the length of my cheekbone. I gave a tiny shake of my head, and wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

I wasn't going to do this. I was going to sit here and cry in front of my entire house. I felt more tears forming in the brim of my eyes and I bit my lip to keep them from flowing. I would make it back to my dormitory before I cried.

I turned on my heels and headed straight for the girl's staircase, ignoring the blank, expressionless looks of everyone in the room as I did.

"Doe, hang on!" Sirius said bounding after me, seemingly unaware the entire room was watching the two of us. His long legs reached me in half the time. "I didn't mean to say anything, alright? I wish I hadn't. I'm sorry."

He grabbed the length of my arm to keep me from leaving, holding me in place in front of the girl's dormitory.

" _Sorry?"_ I demanded, unable to stop the next tear before it slid down my cheek. "You callously betrayed every trust I put in you, and you expect me to just _accept_ your apology?"

Another tear leaked from my eye and it only made me angrier. I hated to cry in public. Even at my parent's funeral, I had managed to keep it together and wait for home. But one fight with Sirius Black and I was crying for the whole Common Room to see. It only made me hate him more.

"I _am_ sorry, though," Sirius pressed, firmly, still gripping my arm. "I swear it. I didn't mean to say anything. It was stupid."

"Sod off," I snapped through clenched teeth. Sirius didn't let go of my arm. I just wanted to get away from me. I never wanted to see his face again.

"I'm not joking, Sirius," I said, drawing my wand and holding it up to his face. "Let go of my arm, or I'll hex your hand off!"

Sirius eyed me and my wand carefully for a minute, his grey eyes flickering strangely, before he dropped my arm and took a step back. He looked a little hurt, like my words had somehow offended him. I could hardly believe it. _He_ was hurt? After what he had just put me through?

I kept my wand held up for a moment, and then dropped it. I didn't look back as I climbed the stairs three at a time. I didn't stop until I made it to my dormitory and onto my bed.

There, head buried deeply into my pillow, I let myself cry. All of the emotions I had been doing my best to hide a minute ago, slowly leaked out, drowning my pillow in tears

I couldn't believe how quickly everything had imploded. An hour ago, everything had been fine. My biggest concern had been whether or not my Herbology exam would have a question about devils' snare. And now? Everything was broken. By morning the entire school would know more about my life than I ever intended. Being an orphan was pitiable enough, but living in an orphanage would make people see me differently.

That alone was enough to make me never want to get out of bed. But thinking about the way it had been found out only made my stomach sicker.

 _Sirius_ had betrayed my trust. Sirius was the reason I was in this mess. I felt another wave of betrayal wash over me at the thought. We had been getting so close, he and I. I had felt almost as close to him as I did Lily. Sometimes even more. There was indescribable feeling of comfort I had felt when I was around him, like he knew what I had been thinking most of the time.

I had thought we understood each other. We both had gritty, hard home lives and had confided in one another about our secrets. I had never thought he'd share them. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing the same. Loyalty was too important to me. It was a terrible feeling to be so wrong about someone.

I didn't know how long I stayed up there by myself. After an hour or two, I was mostly cried out, but I didn't get up from the bed. There was no way I could go downstairs and face all of those people who had just witnessed the scene I made. And I definitely didn't want to see Sirius' face. I never wanted to see him again.

I wondered idly how long I would be able to stay up here, before I had to face the music. I supposed maybe the night. Tomorrow I had classes, and I'd never risk skipping any of them this close to the exam. It didn't matter whether or not my personal life was falling apart in front of me, I wouldn't let that tarnish my spotless academic record. I wouldn't let Sirius ruin that for me too.

The wrought, silver framed photo of my parents that sat comfortingly on my nightstand seemed to mock me. I didn't have any desire to look at their faces right now. I missed them desperately and I was already to upset. I didn't need to feel grief right now too.

A knock on the door drew me out of my thoughts. Whoever it was, had knocked lightly, in an attempt to be polite.

I shifted so I was sitting up and wiped the dried tears from my face. I knew it didn't matter anyway. My eyes were probably giant, puffy, and red by now. Anyone who saw me would know I had been up here crying. There was no sense in trying to hide it.

"Come in," I cried hoarsely, my throat felt like it had been run raw.

The door cracked open slightly, and Lily's fiery red hair peeked through it. She looked pale, like she was nervous. I hoped she wasn't afraid of me.

"Do you feel up to talking?" she asked nervously. Her voice sounded odd, almost like she was talking to a child rather than her best friend.

I gave a tiny nod of my head and Lily quietly padded into the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, quietly sitting down beside me. "I was really worried about you, but I didn't want to intrude if you needed some space."

Lily's hand found mine, and clutched it tightly, as she watched my face for any signs of impending depression.

"I'm...okay, all things considered," I whispered quietly, doing my best to avoid looking her directly in the eyes. Lily had an uncanny ability of seeing straight through me, especially when I was hiding how I was feeling about something. It wasn't intrusive. She only meant it out of kindness. It was the same thing my mother used to do when she was alive. I often thought Lily was going to make an amazing mother someday if she had already mastered that so early.

"You have every right to be upset, you know," Lily told me, brushing some of my long, silvery hair off my shoulder. "You don't have to pretend you're not in front of me. I'm always here for you, no matter what. So, if you want to cry or scream or call Sirius Black every foul thing you can think of, I will sit here and listen to every word."

I could tell from the look on Lily's face that she meant every word with her whole heart. I squeezed her hand hard, and let a couple more tears slip down my cheek. Lily let her head drop onto my shoulder, while I let the last few tears fall from my lashes.

"Everyone knows, Lily," I whispered quietly, trying to keep from shaking. "They all know that my mother's family despises me. That I don't have any family that wants anything to do with me."

Even saying the words hurt more than I imagined. My father's family had died before I was even born. There weren't any of them around to take me in, even if they had wanted too. But my mother's family was huge. Full of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who didn't give a damn about me. I never particularly cared for my mother's family, especially after what Aubleus had done, but it was a whole new kind of pain to be eleven years old and know that they would have rathered you dead too.

"You do have a family who cares about you, Doe," Lily said firmly, grasping my hand even tighter. "It's us. _We_ love you. Mary, Marlene and I love you so much, we'd give one of our lives for yours, and we know you'd do the same. What's more family than that? Who cares about blood family? Half the people in the castle who come from big families can't stand them. The people who you choose are the ones that are truly important."

Her words made another tear slip down my cheek. "Thank you, Lily," I told her, hiccupping slightly. "I do love you three, more than anything."

Lily wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. "I know that. And I know it doesn't lessen the pain you feel right now, but I just needed you to know that we will always be here for you. No matter what _ever_ happens, you can count on us. So, who cares what anyone else thinks about it okay? We're all that matters."

I nodded, wiping my nose and mouth with the back of my hand. Most of my trepidation at facing the rest of the school had disappeared, though I couldn't quite shake the feeling of betrayal that lingered. Every time I pictured Sirius' face, it stung more and more. Another knock at the door pulled my attention back to the present.

"That's Mary and Marlene," Lily said quickly. "I told them to wait until I talked to you before coming up."

"You didn't have to do that," I told her, feeling silly that I had made my roommates so nervous. "Come in you guys!"

The door opened, and Mary and Marlene bounded in, their arms laden down with plates of food and flagons of pumpkin juice. They both smiled at me brightly.

"We didn't think you'd want to go down to the Great Hall for dinner," Mary said placing the food down. "So, we've brought it to you."

Marlene surveyed me with a raised eyebrow, "And from the state of your eyes, I'd say we made the right decision."

I let out a little laugh and Mary elbowed Marlene in the ribs.

"Ow," Marlene rubbed her rib uncomfortably, as she sat down in front of the food. "What?"

Mary shook her head. "Honestly, Marls. Do you think insulting her is the way to make her feel better?"

"I wasn't insulting her. Her eyes _are_ red. That's what happens when people cry, Mary. Doe's not a bloody idiot."

 _"_ _Still."_

I smiled at the two of them, as Lily and I joined them on the floor by the food. "Honestly, you two. I'm okay, I promise. I don't need to look in the mirror to know the state I must be in," I admitted, twirling my hair into a high ponytail. "And thank you for bringing the food. I don't think I can handle the idea of the Great Hall until tomorrow."

Marlene threw Mary a triumphant smile. " _See._ She's going to be fine, Mare. Doe's tougher than you think."

"I never said she wasn't tough," Mary said, throwing me a sympathetic glance. I returned it with a smile.

I didn't have much of an appetite, but I forced myself to eat a couple bites of the sandwich my friends brought, and downed an entire glass of Pumpkin Juice. I leaned backward against the edge of the four-poster and watched my friends while they ate.

"So," Marlene said when she finished eating. "When are we planning on murdering Sirius, then?"

Lily and Mary both flashed her a warning glance, but Marlene seemed to ignore them.

"Are we just supposed to pretend that he's not the biggest prat in the world?" Marlene asked firmly. "Because I sincerely doubt Doe's forgotten about it already."

Mary sighed, and Lily looked guilty. I knew the two of them thought it unwise to talk about it so soon. Like the sound of his name might send me spiraling into a depression or something. I didn't think it mattered. There hadn't been a moment since I found out that he was responsible, that I wasn't actively hating Sirius Black.

"I haven't forgotten," I said darkly. "I'm furious with him."

I took to looking down at my fingers. I didn't want to cry again.

"That's good, at least," Mary piped up quickly. "It's better to be furious than to be upset."

Marlene nodded firmly. "We could go downstairs and hex him now if you want. He's sitting in one of those armchairs by the girl's staircase waiting for you to come down," she rolled her eyes. "I told him you wouldn't talk to him until Hell freezes over," Mary added proudly.

I looked up from the bottom of my lashes, my expression murderous. "Probably not even then," I muttered angrily. "I cannot believe I was stupid enough to think I could trust him of all people. He probably told the rest of the Marauders the second I told him."

"He's a git," Lily said, immediately agreeing with me. "You were a good friend to him, and he didn't deserve it."

As much as I hated to admit it now, I hated that I wouldn't be able to talk to Sirius any more. The last few months had been some of the happiest I had felt since my parents died. I like having someone I was close to outside of my friends. It had felt right somehow.

And now, it was all ruined because he couldn't keep his fat mouth shut. It made me want to hex his attractive smile right off his face. If I had been given the choice in that minute between being locked in a room with Rabastan or Sirius, I would have chosen Rabastan every time. And that was saying something.

"Are you really not going to talk to him, again?" Mary asked quietly, sipping from the glass in front of her.

It was a strange question coming from her. I never really got the impression that Mary liked Sirius very much. Marlene was the one who liked him. Lily and Mary always seemed to be annoyed by his presence. It was strange to hear a trace of a sympathy for him in her voice.

"Not willingly," I said honestly, bringing my chin down to rest on my knees. "Trust is too important to me. There's no point in a friendship without loyalty, Mare."

Mary gave a tiny nod. "I know, it just seems odd. You and Sirius really seemed to be getting on well. I didn't think he would do something like this."

"Yeah, well…." I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

I hadn't thought Sirius would do something like this either. That's what made it so terrible. It would be like if Mary or Marlene had done it. I had thought of them the same way. It made me feel incredibly stupid.

I weighed my wand back and forth thinking of how wonderful it would feel to use the Bat-Bogey hex on Sirius, and then frowned remembering that that would be mean I had to be in the same room as him.

The door creaked open again. Rylie and Alice were quiet as they softly scampered into the room. Alice flashed me a kind smile as she entered, and Rylie seemed to be going out of her way to avoid looking at me, like she thought if she did, she might say something offensive.

I cast a sidelong look at Lily, and she shook her head to encourage me. I knew if _Rylie_ , my own dormmate, was acting like this, tomorrow was going to be absolute hell. If I even thought about it for longer than a second, my eyes began to fill up with tears.

Even though it was early still, I made a point of getting ready to go to bed. I felt a tiny bit better after a shower and fresh pajamas. Mary and Marlene kept up a constant stream of light-hearted conversation. Something I knew was to keep me from bursting into tears, or even having the time to think about what happened.

Not that I needed it. I couldn't _stop_ thinking about. About the smug look on Belby's face. The whispering and pointing of everyone in the Entrance Hall. And worse, the expression on Sirius face, as I cried in front of him. I hated him for that.

I was just about to crawl into bed when I felt a light tapping on my right shoulder.

"Doe?"

Alice was standing behind me, her bottom lip hung nervously. She was wearing her favorite pair of pink striped pajamas. Her short hair arraigned neatly in tiny silver rollers.

"Hey, Alice," I said happily, trying to offer the biggest smile I could. Alice returned the smile and her shoulders relaxed a bit.

"I just wanted you to know, that I think you're a really strong person," Alice said softly, but very firm. "You've been through a lot. More than I even knew, and you're still always kind, and generous. Anything I learned today, didn't change any of those things."

I felt my cheeks redden nervously. "Thank you, Alice. That means quite a lot."

Alice flashed me another soft smile. "Don't even think on it."

Lily looked onward from her bed with a content expression. I knew what she was thinking, that what Alice had said had proven that people didn't care where I grew up, but I knew this was naïve. Alice was a kind person. Things like that didn't matter to her. I couldn't necessarily say the same about the rest of the castle.

I slept restlessly that night, tossing and turning over and over as I had a nightmare about Damocles Belby drowning me in the Black Lake while half of Slytherin House watched and laughed. I didn't need a seer to decipher what _that_ was about.

I took my time getting ready the next morning, trying to do my best to draw out the moment I would have to go downstairs to breakfast and face everyone.

Marlene, Mary and Lily were all clustered around the room, fully dressed and clearly ready to head down to breakfast. I had told them at least five times to head down without me but each and every time they swore they'd rather wait for me.

I knew they were being kind. Making sure I went downstairs and got something to eat instead of skiving off the Great Hall altogether.

"That's the _third_ time you've brushed your hair this morning," Marlene mused from the corner of the room, disapprovingly. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Doe."

"I'm getting ready," I told her, raking the brush through my hair again. Had it really been the third time I'd brushed it? Probably. I really was dreading leaving the dormitory.

Marlene cocked an eyebrow at me. "You're more than ready. You're _stalling._ "

She was right. The color that rose to my cheeks betrayed me, and Marlene gave a firm nod.

"It isn't going to be nearly as bad as you think it will," Mary added supportively from her bed.

She was smiling brightly like she truly believed every word.

Lily nodded in agreement. "Honestly, no one in that Hall who you consider a friend will care about that. I promise."

I felt the icy dread creep back into my chest at the thought of going down there and did my best to push through it, giving a falsely eager nod.

"You're right," I lied through my teeth. "I'm sure it will be fine."

I could actually feel my hands shaking as the four of us headed down the stairs of the twisting stone staircase down to the Common Room. Luckily, we had left late enough that the entire Common Room was empty. All of the house was already down for breakfast. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"So, I was thinking that if it works for everyone, tonight we should probably work on that review Professor McGonagall assigned," Lily went on quickly, launching into a conversation about our O.W.L.s that carried us all the way to the Entrance Hall. I was silently grateful for it. It kept me distracted until we reached the Great Hall.

Mary seemed to sense my hesitation, and took the first step inside, leading the four of us to our usual spot. From the moment I entered the hall, I kept my eyes trained on the Gryffindor House Table, doing my best to ignore the sweeping looks and whisperings that had begun the second I took a step into the Great Hall.

One quick peek across the room confirmed my worst fear. _Everyone_ was looking at me. It seemed as if up and down the House Tables, each and every person's gaze drifted towards me and didn't move. It was actually impressive how quickly the news had managed to spread. How was it that this many people all knew about it? It had only happened the night before. I shook my head remembering that this was always how quickly things spread at Hogwarts. If the gossip was interesting enough, everyone would know.

I could hear the whispers now as I passed. _Doe Meadowes, she lives in an orphanage, you know. Sad isn't it?_ Their words cut through the tiny wall I had managed to build on my way down here. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep it together.

"Don't look at any of them," Mary said firmly as we made our way between the tables.

Students all across the hall were all looking at me, just like I knew they would. Even at the Gryffindor table, people stared at me. The politer of my house mates looked away after a second, but some of them didn't seem to care, and continued to stare unaffected.

I didn't dare look to the Slytherin table, sitting with my back to them. I didn't need to see the malicious excitement on their faces.

"Everyone is looking at me," I whispered miserably under my breath as I reached for the tray of eggs placed in front of me. Dirk Creswell watches and whispered something to Tiberius McLaggen as I did.

"Not everyone," Lily said hopefully. "Mafalda Hopkirk is reading and Xeno Lovegood isn't even looking in this direction."

Two people out of the entire hall wasn't exactly odds I wanted to stand behind, but it was better than nothing.

"I suppose that's a start," I said quietly, watching as Krysten and Nora both snuck a look over at us, and whispered something. Otto elbowed Krysten in the ribs and I looked away, before they noticed.

This feeling was miserable. I just wanted to disappear, so that no one would whisper. I couldn't help but think of how handy James' invisibility cloak would be right about now.

The idea reminded me of something, and drew my eyes up to the Marauders usual spot. There were only three of them sitting there. Peter, Remus and James were shaking their heads at something. I only had a second before I realized why.

Sirius was heading over to where we were sitting, his face screwed up and his lips pursed.

"Tell me he is not doing what I think he is," I said furiously.

"He's not coming over here, is he?" Lily asked in amazement, her face filling with a strange amount of rage. "He can't be that stupid, can he?"

"Apparently," Mary said, shaking her head as Sirius stopped right behind Marlene and me. I gripped my fork tighter, and prayed to Merlin he'd walk away. The last thing I wanted to do was cause another scene in public, but there was _no_ way I was going to deal with Sirius either.

"Doe?" Sirius asked quietly, talking to the back of my head. "Can I have a minute?"

I could feel all of the pairs of eyes in our vicinity lock on us immediately. A quiet hush seemed to be starting to slowly fall over the Hall. I wasn't going to give any of them the satisfaction of knowing any more about me than they already did.

I didn't turn around when I answered him. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"Go away, Sirius," I said quietly, taking another bite of eggs. I could already feel the tears brimming in my eyes and blinked them back as quickly as I could.

Sirius didn't leave. His brow furrowed and he sighed. "I only need a minute. We can go out into the Entrance Hall-"

"Piss off, Black," Marlene snapped before he could finish his sentence. She looked up at him with such a venomous expression, even I was surprised. Marlene had always been very fond of Sirius. It was strange to see her look at him with such loathing.

"Doe," Sirius pressed. I gave a firm shake of my head. "I said no."

I refused to turn around. I wasn't going to look at him. He didn't deserve it. And I was sure if I did, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from crying again.

Sirius seemed to take the hint. He gave a lofty sigh and walked away, not stopping until he left the hall. His friends followed after him. Once he had left, the conversations in the hall seemed to start up again. I didn't even care if they were talking about me at this point. I was just glad Sirius was gone.

"Are you okay?" Mary asked quickly, her eyes wide. I gave a quick nod and nibbled on my toast, ignoring the looks that some of the Hufflepuffs were giving me over her shoulder.

"What a git," Marlene hissed shredding the pancakes in front of her. "Coming over to you like that, as if you'd actually want anything to do with him. Is he mad?"

"It's appalling," said Lily. Somehow, she looked even more furious than I was. I knew how she felt about Sirius, especially after what he had done to Severus. Now, after hurting both of her friends, it seemed that Lily had no desire to pretend she didn't like Sirius. I wondered if she hated him more than James. I actually cracked a smile at that. I doubted there was anyone Lily hated more than James.

"What?" Lily asked, reading my smile with a confused look. I gave a gentle shake of my head. "I was just thinking about something funny."

"Well as long as you're not thinking about pitching yourself off the astronomy tower, I'm elated," Lily said happily, filling my plate with a generous amount of food. "Now eat something."

I rolled my eyes, taking another bite. "Rest assured, the only person I want to toss of the astronomy tower is _Black_."

I gave me an immense amount of pleasure to refer to him by his surname. Partially because I knew how much he would hate it if he knew.

"Now that's an idea," Mary piped happily. "We could do it before Transfiguration. Bet McGonagall would even go easy on you. Merlin knows, she's wanted to toss Sirius off the astronomy tower loads of times."

"Filch might even help," Lily suggested, throwing an irritated glance at a couple of third years who were pointing and whispering at me.

I pretended not to notice them and scrunched up my nose in disgust. "I don't think I'd ever stoop low enough to ask Filch for help."  
My friends burst into quick laughter, harder than I expected, and it made me smile a bit. It didn't matter if everyone in the hall was staring at me, if I had the three of them. They would make the day bearable. After that, we did our best to try and enjoy breakfast, while simultaneously ignoring the looks from everyone else.

The rest of the day was one of the worst I'd ever had at Hogwarts, except for the day I had found out my parents were murdered. Everywhere I went, people whispered and followed me around, watching like I was an exhibit in a zoo. It was impossible to ignore.

I did my best to try and move past it, but some of it was blatant it set my teeth on edge. Even classes, where we were bogged down with O.W.L review work, were miserable.

In Transfiguration, half the Ravenclaws kept looking up from Professor McGonagall's review to watch me out of the corner of their eyes. Imogen Warbeck and Kyla Davies spent half the period gossiping about it, while Lily threw them looks of disdain and reminded me that they were simple, shallow girls. They weren't the only ones. Damocles Belby in particular seemed to revel in telling anyone who would listen exactly what Sirius had told him. He went on about it for half the period until Sirius turned around in his seat and swore he'd hex Belby's eyebrows off if he didn't shove it.

He had turned pointedly to me that at point, and looked at me for an uncomfortable amount of time. He'd spent the better part of the period doing it. As if it wasn't bad enough that everyone else was staring at me, I now had to deal with Sirius too.

Every time I dared to look over at the table where Sirius and the rest of the Marauders sat, I found Sirius leaning back in his chair, watching me with a frustrated expression.

The corridors between classes were the worst. There, no one tried to hide exactly what they were saying. Every time I passed by a group of people, I could hear exactly what they thought about me and my situation. It seemed common courtesy had gone out the window.

It made me extremely grateful that I had my friends. Each one of them clung to me all day, doing their best to distract me or shout at the people who lingered.

"I swear they talked about me less when my parents died," I huffed as the four of us trudged down towards the greenhouses for Herbology. "How is that possible?"

"Probably because all we hear about now is whose died or gone missing," Mary offered. "Everyone is grateful to have some gossip that doesn't involve a funeral."

"Not that it makes it okay," Lily added before I could say anything about it.

We were walking a few feet behind the Marauders, making sure to keep our distance. Sirius had already tried to catch me alone after Transfiguration and wouldn't sod off until Lily threatened to go back and fetch Professor McGonagall. I didn't want to give him another chance to try and talk to me.

When we got to Greenhouse Four, Amelia was standing alone beside the door. I sighed, knowing exactly why she was there and who she was waiting for. She cast a long, foul look at the Marauders when they passed, making sure to glare carefully at Sirius.

So, she did know. I felt a pit form in stomach at the thought of having to talk to Amelia about it. Out of all the people I had had to lie to over the years, Amelia was one of the ones I felt the most guilty about. I had grown up with her. Lying to her had felt like lying to family.

"Go ahead," I told my friends as we approached her, "I'll meet you lot inside."

My friends each nodded and flitted into the greenhouse without another word while I walked over to Amelia.

Amelia's face was very even, her lips pulled into a tight line. I could see the confusion and hurt etched into her brown eyes. It made me uncomfortable to see Amelia look anything other than absolutely joyful.

"Hey Aimes," I said half-heartedly, as Caradoc Dearborn passed by us. Amelia didn't smile, her mouth turned downward into a frown.

"Why didn't you tell me, Doe?" she asked sadly, her wide mouth quivering. "Did you think you couldn't trust me?" She was hurt. That much was clear in her face.

That was the exact reaction I had been afraid of. I had only kept the secret from her to minimize the amount of people who knew. It had nothing to do with how I felt about her personally. I knew I could trust Amelia with anything. I'd known her since I could crawl.

"It wasn't like that, Amelia. I promise," I said firmly, fighting back the urge to cry again. "I was just embarrassed and scared, and I didn't want anyone to know. You and Edgar remind me so much of when everything was normal and happy in my life. I think if I had told you about the orphanage it would have felt like it was destroying the last bit of home I still remembered."

This softened Amelia a bit. The frown disappeared from her freckled face and she let out a low sigh.

"I could have helped you, you know," she said quickly. "Mum and Dad too. Merlin, I bet they would have taken you in if they'd known."

I shook my head quickly. "I didn't want that, Amelia, as kind as the offer is. Ever since I lost my parents, I felt like a burden. I didn't want pity from everyone. I liked that you still thought highly of me."

"Living in an orphanage doesn't change the way I think about you," she said quickly. "I don't think it does for anyone. Not anyone in Hufflepuff anyway."

"It hasn't stopped half the castle from pointing and staring at me, though." I replied miserably, kicking a pinecone at my feet.

"Who cares," Amelia said confidently. "Anyone whose pointing and staring isn't worth keeping around."

She had given me the same solid advice that Lily, Marlene and Mary had.

"And anyway," Amelia added quickly. "For some people, it only made them like you more. Odie Macmillan went on a ten-minute diatribe in the Common Room this morning about how he'd still like to shag you any time, and how Sirius Black is the biggest prat in Gryffindor."

" _That_ ," I said with a smirk, "makes me like Odie a bit more."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't let him hear you say that. He's already planning how he'll ask you out. I told him to wait until all of this dies down. That should buy you a few days at least. So, you're welcome." She chuckled and then her face softened again. I could see the question forming on her lips before she even asked it. "Have you spoken to Sirius?" she asked hesitantly.

"No," I told her shaking my head firmly. "And I don't plan on it, ever again."

"Well, good," Amelia nodded eagerly. "What he did was shite. I don't blame you."

A few more Hufflepuffs staggered past us and into the Greenhouse. We only had a minute before class was going to start.

"Come on," Amelia said leading me towards the door to the Greenhouse. "We don't want to miss out on a chance to have some mild, docile plant to take a swipe at you, do we?"

"You're cruel, Amelia," I told her shaking my head as I followed her into the class, feeling marginally better about the whole situation.

The rest of the day seemed to melt away. No one said anything about me in Divination, though Sybil Trelawney did make a point of stopping me at the end of class to remind me about the prediction she had made, coming true. I had had to physically drag Marlene away from her to keep her from hitting Sybil straight in the face.

The part of the day I was most dreading was Potions. I just knew the Slytherins were going to be terrible about it. The never missed an opportunity to make Gryffindors miserable. My news had given them the perfect ammunition to harass me with.

I made sure to show up only seconds before class started, to avoid them in the corridor, sliding into my shared desk with Marlene just as Professor Slughorn had begun his lecture.

"Smooth," Marlene had chuckled lightly over her cauldron, "but you can't avoid the Slytherins forever. Trust me, they'll be waiting for you the moment class is over."

"I know," I told her opening my book, "But it'll be much easier to hex them if Slughorn isn't about to wander around the corner and stop me."

"Excellent point, Meadowes."

I let myself sneak one look over to the Slytherins side of the room and found several pairs of eyes looking back at me.

Just the excitement alone that lingered in Narcissa's eyes made me want to shiver, and Elizabeth's cruel smile didn't assuage my fears. I knew I would never back down from a fight with the Slytherins if one emerged, but after what had happened with Mary, I was looking forward to it less and less.

In the front of the class, I could see Lily glaring back at the Slytherins. Every so often she would turn to Severus beside her and say something sternly, gesturing back at his housemates, and then at me.

"You think Lily is trying to get Snape to stop them talking about you?" Marlene snorted, thinking along the same lines.

I rolled my eyes. "I hope not. If she is, she's wasting her time. There's no way Severus would do anything to jeopardize his status with the Slytherins, even if it was _Lil_ y who asked him too."

The idea of Snape doing anything for me, was laughable. He didn't even like me. He only ever put up with my presence because of Lily, and still looked annoyed when I deigned to spend time with my own best friend. He wasn't any better than the rest of the Slytherins.

The potions lesson lasted a long while. Professor Slughorn told us the potions we were reviewing today almost always ended up on the O.W.L.s and refused to end class until everyone had made a potion that would earn them at least an A. Something that proved to be very difficult. Evan Rosier's cauldron kept bubbling over and would occasionally shoot jets of fire across the room. After the third time it set Zinnia Flint's robes on fire, Slughorn let us go.

"At the rate he's going, Evan's going to be lucky if he can pass the potions O.W.L at all," Lily said shaking her head as she joined us at out desk with Mary. The back of her robes were slightly singed from his cauldron and smelled faintly of a campfire.

"Bet he doesn't," I said, "I overheard him say in defense he hadn't started studying at all. Thinks he'll be able to skate by on memory."

Both Lily and Mary shuddered violently, and clutched their textbooks closer to them for comfort. Lily's grueling study schedules she had probably over prepared us. I couldn't imagine not studying at all. It was too arrogant. Then again, arrogance was something the Slytherins knew all too well.

"Bet even _I_ do better than him," Marlene said twirling her wand with a look of pure elation. She clearly was thrilled to have not been the worst in class.

I opened my mouth to remind Marlene once again that she was not going to fail her exams when something made me shut it immediately.

Narcissa, Elizabeth, Sebastian and Evan were all lingering outside of the Potions classroom. It was impossible to not know why they were there. Each of them was eyeing me with a feverish, grim smile. They had planned this moment. They were excited for it. I rolled my eyes, having known this was coming from the moment I had woken up this morning.

"Oi, Lizzie," Narcissa said dramatically, her voice rising loudly. "Can you imagine anything worse than living with a bunch of muggles in some dingy orphanage?"

Elizabeth's entire face lit up with vindictiveness, her dark eyes locked on me as she spoke. "I can't, actually. It's far too pathetic." She flashed me an even-toothed smile.

"I mean at that point why not just become a House Elf?" Evan added. "At least then you get to live amongst Wizards."

I felt the rage threatening to spill over inside of my chest. I knew what they wanted from me. They wanted me to get upset. It would make them happy. I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction. No matter how much it bothered me.

"That's a pretty ironic statement from the wizard who almost burned down the Potions Classroom a few minutes ago," I said confidently, watching the fury rise to Evan's high cheekbones. Beside him, Narcissa seethed.

"You'd think living with Wizards, and getting a _whole summer_ to practice, would make you better at magic than me, not worse," I added quickly, my hand twitching towards my wand.

Marlene snorted so loudly it echoed through the corridor. Narcissa looked like she'd like nothing more than too hex us both. The silvery wand in her hand moved slightly.

"You better watch your mouth, Meadowes," Sebastian snapped. "Things get dicey when people like you say things like that."

"Going to put her in the Hospital Wing like you did Mary," Lily snapped bravely at Mulciber. "Because I thought you lot had already learned _that_ lesson."

Sebastian sneered at her, his upper lip twitching at the memory of their ruined Common Room. Mary was silent behind Lily, looking like she'd rather run for the safety of our own Common Room then spend even a minute more talking about what had happened to her.

Elizabeth gave a tiny shake of her head and placed her hand carefully on Sebastian's shoulder. It seemed to calm him slightly. It looked like they were plotting something. Narcissa was the only one who seemed ready to continue lobbing insults. She took a dainty step forward and brushed her blonde hair out of her face. It was strange to look at. Her hair was almost the same color as mine, odd considering that most of her family had such dark hair. It was strange to see a familiar trait on someone I hated so much. Though we looked nothing else alike. Her eyes were dark and heavily lidded, just like her sisters, and her chin was sharp and narrow.

"You know, Doe," she said carefully, "My sisters and I run into members of the Greengrass family abroad all the time. Bet they'd _love_ hearing about where you spend your summers. Might be useful information, don't you think?"

My heart skipped. Too quickly. I didn't have time to hide the paralyzing fear I felt on my face. Narcissa's smile widened as she realized she had struck a chord. She had hit her mark.

Beside us, none of the other's seemed to understand what was happening, or why I had gone so quiet. But Narcissa did. She knew what it meant.

"Are you threatening me?" I asked her evenly, my wand suddenly felt weightless in my hand. It would be so easy to use it. To jinx that smile right off of her face. But I knew better. It would only give her exactly what she wanted.

"Me?" Narcissa asked, false innocence dripping from her words. "Of course not. I wouldn't be doing anything at all. Just sharing information with certain interested parties."

"There's a loyalty among the Pureblood community that you couldn't understand," Evan said echoing her words.

Marlene rolled her eyes beside me. I knew as the only Pureblood one among the four of us she had probably heard things like this a thousand times.

"I think I understand it just _fine_ ," I murmured, desperate not to let them see one ounce of the fear they had caused in me. I knew what they considered loyalty. It was the kind of sick twisted mindset that had landed me in that oprhange in the first place.

Narcissa and I locked eyes for a moment in silence while everyone else in the corridor just watched.

"What's going on here?" A soothing voice droned as they came around the corner, breaking up Narcissa's and I's staring contest.

Rabastan Lestrange was probably the only person I wanted to see less than the Slytherins in front of me. I let out an irritated sigh as he grinned. I was hoping to have a few more hours before I had to deal with him.

"Ah, I see," he said, looking from the Slytherins to me and my friends. No one needed to explain anything to him. He looked thrilled to have walked in at this moment, pushing past Narcissa to make his way towards me. He didn't walk. He strutted confidently. Lily let out an angry, breathy noise. Her distaste for the Slytherin chaser, clear as day.

"I heard, of course, about you're unfortunate living situation, Doe," he said clicking his tongue in false sadness. "You're quite the talk of the castle at the moment, aren't you? It almost disappoints me. I quite like being the only one fascinated with you. Sharing is something I rarely enjoy."

"The only unfortunate part of her life is that she's stuck her talking to you, Lestrange," Marlene snapped loudly. "Don't you have anything better to do with your time than harass people who cant stand you?"

Rabastan rolled his eyes at Marlene. And Narcissa let out a breathy little cough. "Like anyone would take advice from you, McKinnon. You've been with more Hogwarts boys than the sorting hat."

Marlene's amber eyes flashed with absolute hatred as she glared at Narcissa. "Oh, good one, Narcissa. Did you spend a whole minute on that one?"

Rabastan looked idly irritated at Marlene and Narcissa's snippet and his eyes darted back to me while they argued in highpitched voices.

"You know, Doe," he purred. "You could always stay a few nights in my bed. At least then you'd be sleeping amongst _wizards_." He shuddered as if the idea of living under the same roof as muggles was some great travesty.

"I wouldn't hold your breath if I were you," I told him, my upper lip curling in anger.

Rabastan grinned. "One of these days, you'll be singing quite a different tune, Doe. Don't you worry."

He was so god damn overconfident it made me blood boil under my skin. Even Lily was scowling at him, and she hated confrontation with the Slytherins.

Shaking with irritation, I gripped my bag tighter and turned around, stomping back towards Gryffindor Tower. I heard my friends traipse after me, catching up to my strides before I even made it to the staircase. I had to leave then. If I didn't I thought I might actually hit Rabastan. He had a very reliable habit of making me more furious than ever. All I wanted to do was head back to the Common Room. At least there I could bury myself in a book and not think about any of this.

Technically, I was supposed to be tutoring Sirius right now, but there was no way I was showing up to that. Not after what he had done. He was more than capable of studying alone. If it became a problem, I would talk to Flitwick myself.

"Stupid, slimy, slithering gits," Marlene swore loudly as she caught up with me on the stairs. The others were just behind her. "Why do they have to make it their mission in life to be so terrible?"

Lily's shrugged, unsure of how to answer her question. I could still see the lingering hate in her eyes.

"Who knows. Years of indoctrinated arrogance and inbreeding?" Mary suggested beside her.

Lily and I both chuckled softly.

"Hey now," Marlene warned jokingly. "A little inbreeding now and then doesn't hurt anyone."

Mary threw her a smile. "Says the Pureblood. Was your mother's maiden name McKinnon too?" she teased.

The two of them ducked away from one another to avoid the elbowing that was sure to come. Lily took one look at them and shook her head, a soft smile lingering on her lips. It fell when she turned back to me. Mary and Marlene were hung back, still laughing and play threatening one another. Lily watched me, pursing her lips.

"What was Narcissa talking about back there?" she asked me softly as we walked. "What was she threatening with you?"

I felt some of the color rise back to my cheeks as the familiar twinge of fear and fury crept back into my mind. Narcissa's threat had been lingering there the whole time, but Lily had brought it back to the foreground of my thoughts.

I did a quick double take to make sure no one was around and then dropped my voice to a whisper. "One of the reasons that I kept the whole thing a secret was out of safety," I told Lily honestly. "Dumbledore didn't want Aubleus to know where I was. In case he ever came back to finish off the rest of the Meadowes family. A muggle orphanage was the last place he'd look. That's why I never tried to move in with any wizard families. As much I disliked the orphanage, I always felt safe there. Narcissa was threatening to tell my mother's family, knowing full well that if they had contact with Aubleus, they'd tell him."

That was the heaviest secret I had kept from my friends, and letting it out instantly made me feel as though a weight was lifted off of my chest. It had been difficult to understand when I was eleven, but now the seriousness of the situation wasn't lost on me. This was life and death. The only thing that stood between me and the end of a wand, was the whim of one of my uncles.

Lily's eyes moved very quickly back and forth for a moment, her lips hung open as she processed what I had told her.

"So Narcissa wasn't just posturing back there then?" Lily asked quickly. "She was genuinely threatening your life?"

"Indirectly, I guess. I don't think she plans on doing anything herself." That was always Narcissa's way. She never did anything herself. She relied on her sisters to do her dirty work when they were here, and now it seemed she had moved onto letting Elizabeth and Sebastian carry out her whims.

"But still," Lily said, her green eyes widening in fear. "If she tells the other Greengrasses about it, they could tell Aubleus right? That _would_ put your life in danger."

I had never heard Lily mention Aubleus by name. The topic rarely came up between us but when it did she never said his name. I suppose it had always been for my benefit, but now she seemed too worried for that to matter.

"No more than usual," I said, trying to minimize her fears, "It's all over the school now. People gossip. Whether or not Narcissa says anything to them, I'm sure they'll find out eventually. I don't care, one way or the other. If a time comes when I have to face them, I will."

I spent every summer worrying about it anyway. This had hardly changed anything. I was hardwired to keep my wand close.

Lily looked torn between being sad and angry. "Can't Dumbledore do something? There has to be a place you can go instead. Somewhere in the Wizarding world. Somewhere safer."

I was shaking my head before she finished speaking. "It doesn't matter where I am, Lils. Aubleus is twice my age and not afraid of using Unforgivables. If he wants me dead, I'm sure he'll find me. I just have to hope he doesn't care about my life enough to do anything about it."

After all. It had been over four years. Perhaps, senselessly murdering his sister and brother in law had satisfied Aubleus' desires. It was heinous to even think about. Let alone _hope_ for.

"That's not fair, at all," Lily said wistfully. "Why should any of this matter? You didn't do _anything,_ and now you have to worry about your life because your Mum happened to fall in love with a Muggleborn." I could see the anger in her face. It was the same look she got every time one of the Slytherins tried to tear the mickey out of her about her blood status.

"That's the world now, Lily," I answered. "If we want it to be any other way, we have to fight for it. It's the tiny battles that change people and their mindsets."

"I suppose that's true. It still doesn't seem very fair to me."

Marlene and Mary had pushed us, still arguing good-naturedly about Marlene's family.

"All I'm saying Mary," Marlene chuckled loudly, "Is that maybe you should think about whether or not you want inbred children before you continually shove your tongue down Landon's throat."

Mary flashed her devilish smile. "Can't say I have time to think about much when Landon is around."

"Ew. That's my _brother._ "

"But he's my _boyfriend._ "

It was also entertaining to watch the conversations that Mary and Marlene had about Landon. For the most part, Marlene was decently supportive about the relationship, but she never wanted the details. Which was surprising coming from her.

We had just made it to the thickest part of the entrance hall, were students from later lessons where heading back towards their common rooms. The moment we had wandered back into the groups of people, the staring and whispering started up again.

I narrowed my eyes and did my best to ignore it as Gwenog Jones whispered something to Hexar Smith and both of their eyes locked on me instantly. Odie offered me a kind smile when I passed, and I tried to keep my return smile short, remembering what Amelia had said about his crush on me. The last thing I needed right now was to worry about finding a polite way to turn down Odie Macmillan.

"I bet it's hard living like that all summer," Scarlett Kellman whispered to Tydie Fuller when I passed by. She didn't even attempt to lower her voice.

I gritted my teeth and kept walking past the groups of people clustered around. I just had to make it to the Common Room. At least the people in Gryffindor would _try_ not to stare.

"Doe! Hey Doe! Hold on a minute!"

Whoever it was, I wasn't interested in talking about my personal life. Every single person who had stopped me in the last twenty-four hours had either pitied me or asked me insanely inappropriate questions about my living situation. I didn't feel like explaining myself any further. The constant chattering and staring had really worn my patience thin.

"Yeah, I live in an orphanage. Got anything to say about it?" I demanded, spinning around and rounding on whoever it was, my wand clutched ready at my side. After dealing with the Slytherins I was on the defensive.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to bother you," Gideon said quickly, his hands raised defensively in front of him. He looked a bit embarrassed. I felt a pit form in my stomach as I realized it was Gideon. I had thought it was some fourth year come to bother me about the orphanage. Now, I was mortified.

"No, you didn't," I said quickly, shaking my head and hoping I wasn't blushing too hard. " _I'm_ sorry, Gideon. I thought you were somebody else."

Lily was a little ahead of me, having caught up with Mary and Marlene. She took one look at Gideon and I, and pushed the other two ahead, giving us some privacy that I was thankful for. This whole situation had already been shameful enough.

Gideon shook his head and offered me a good-natured smile that made his dimples show. "You don't have to apologize to me, Doe" he said quickly. "I can hardly imagine the day you've had. I think anyone would be a little uneasy."

He was being so kind and understanding that it only made me feel worse that I had accidently snapped at him. Today really was shaping into an awful day.

I did my best to smile back at him. "Well, thank you. I appreciate it."

"Don't mention it," he added, in a light tone. "Do you mind if I walk with you to the Common Room? There was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh, yeah. Sure," I told him, following him back up the stairs and towards Gryffindor Tower. It was a feat to walk in tandem with him, Gideon was tall, and each one of his strides was about three of mine. He seemed to be doing his best to walk slower than usual though. I didn't mind in the slightest. I liked Gideon. He kept his eyes trained on me as we went.

The people who passed by us, didn't stare or whisper like they had been all day. I didn't know if it was because Gideon had a sort of commanding presence, or because of the Prefect badge fixed to his school sweater, but whatever the reason, people stopped staring when he was with me.

"I know the last two days have kind of sucked for you," Gideon said quietly as we walked.

I nodded, avoiding his eyes. "A bit, yeah," I said quietly.

That was the understatement of the century, but I didn't want to complain. It wouldn't help any.

Gideon frowned. "I figured. People can really be thick sometimes. You would think they'd mind their own business, but I suppose that might be a lost art." He shook his head, slightly disappointed. "But I wanted you to know that Fabian and I talked to the Gryffindor Sixth and Seventh years, and the prefects. No one will be talking about it in Gryffindor. I made sure of that."

I blinked back at him in surprise for a moment, as I struggled to find the right words. It had come out of nowhere. Gideon had always been nice to me but this gesture was something entirely different. He had gone out of his way to make my life a bit easier. It wasn't something I was used to people doing for me, besides my friends.

"You really did that?" I asked, before I could stop myself, overwhelmed.

Gideon gave a firm nod. "It was the least I could. I wish I could have done more. Fabian suggested jinxing some of the chattier third years mouths closed, but I thought that might be overreaching a tad." He smiled.

I chuckled, thoroughly enjoyed feeling something other than fear, anger, or sadness. "You might lose your prefect badge if you start jinxing third years."

"Might be worth it though," Gideon suggested wiggling one of his ginger eyebrows. "Fabian's always calling me a traitor for choosing to be rule-abiding. Thinks I'm wasting my talents."

He stopped when we got to the Portrait of the Fat Lady, kindly giving her the password. She didn't seem to give Gideon any trouble about it. I didn't think I imagined the wide smile she flashed him or the high pitchy quality her voice took on when she spoke to him. Maybe I wasn't the _only_ one who had noticed how attractive Gideon was. In fact, as we crawled through the portrait hole and into the Common Room, I noticed Nora and a pair of fourth year girls eye him with interest.

"Looks like the daily studying circle has already commenced," Gideon pointed out, nodding in the direction of the couches where all of the fifth years were circled around a cluster of textbooks and notes. Some of the sixth and seventh years seemed to be lending a hand too. Hestia and Krysten were sitting on the floor with Marlene, looking like they were talking her down from another exam related meltdown. Otto and Fabian were helping James explain what looked like Peter with what looked like a tricky transfiguration spell. And the McKinnon brothers were quizzing Lily and Mary on potions ingredients.

Sirius was nowhere to be found. Something I found myself relieved about. I had spent half the day with him watching me and I didn't want to have to spend the rest of the evening that way too.

"Do you still want to review for your Care of Magical Creatures exam?" Gideon asked hopefully, balancing a very worn copy of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ on the tip of his wand.

He delicately spun the book and I a smile formed on my face. "You really think I'd deny you the chance to re-read your bible?" I asked plopping down in the armchair across from him.

"What's a bible?" Gideon asked, confusion furrowing his brows. I had momentarily forgotten he was a Pureblood, and the religious reference was lost on him.

I shook my head as I chuckled. "Don't worry about. Let's start on Nifflers okay?"

* * *

"I'm telling you!" Otto shouted firmly three hours later. "Professor Marchbanks used to be a fox. You can still see it there in her features! She was probably beautiful once."

"She's like a hundred and ten, Otto," Fabian said shaking his head.

"When she was younger obviously!" Otto defended himself, as Remus and James shook their head disapprovingly.

We had spent nearly three hour all studying together for the exams before the conversation had drifting off into small talk. The textbooks laid open and forgotten in front of most of us. Everyone, except Lily and Remus, had welcomed the distraction.

It had been nice for me especially. Whatever Gideon and Fabian had said to our fellow Gryffindors seemed to have worked. I had been in the Common Room for hours now and no one had stared at me or said about a word about the orphanage. Probably because Sirius wasn't here. I didn't know where he was and I didn't care. The other Marauder seemed to be smartly avoiding the topic.

"I don't know, about that Otto," Gideon said shaking his head. He had gathered his long red hair into a ponytail that framed his face nicely.

"Oh come on, Gid, you've got to agree a bit." Otto said, flashing him a cocky grin. "Marchbanks was a blonde. You love a blonde, don't you?"

He and Fabian both chuckled a little loudly, and color flashed across Gideon's freckled cheeks as he quickly looked back down at the open page on Nifflers in front of him.

"You will try and shag anything that moves, won't you?" Hestia asked Otto in disbelief, shaking her fringe out of her eyes.

"I'd shag _you_ any time if you're offering Jones."

"I wasn't, Bagman. But good to know."

From two seats away, Carmichael gave a lofty sigh and watched Hestia out of the corner of his eyes.

"If we're talking about teachers who tickle our fancy," James added quickly. "You can't go wrong with Professor Wharton."

"Is that the Arithmancy teacher with the red hair?" Marlene asked, shaking her head. "Merlin, James. You _do_ have a type."

James turned and flashed a cocky smile at Lily, pushing his glasses up higher on the face of his wand. Lily didn't look up from her book, but I could see the trace of annoyance flash across her eyes.

"Alright, here. This should do it for you," Landon told me handing me my copy of Herbology notes. He had gotten an E on his Herbology exam the year before, and offered to circle everything he thought might be important. I had a sinking suspicion his quick, offer of help had more to do with his pitying of me, but I didn't question him on it. I was just grateful he was doing it quietly.

"Thanks, Landon. I owe you one," I told him honestly.

"Nah, you don't," Landon said waving me off, as he slung one of his arms over Mary's shoulders, "Just keep coming up with those catchy slogans to shout at the Quidditch matches."

I grinned. "So, you liked McKinnon for the Winnin', did you?"

"Oh, immensely."

"Personally," Fabian interjected quickly. "I was a fan of Marlene's _'Come on Prewett, Just Do it.'_ "

"It was simple and to the point," Marlene reminded him, pulling out one of her classic Marlene smiles. "And can be used you in many different situations." She fluttered her eyebrows suggestively and Fabian grinned. Landon reached over to kick his dormmate in the shins.

Everyone chuckled slightly as Hestia had to curl up between her teammates to stop any fake fighting from ensuing, while James watched on with interest.

His face brightened as he looked past us to the portrait hole. "Oi, Padfoot! Come joy in. We're watching Jones take on McKinnon and Prewett."

The moment he had spoken, I felt my shoulders tense up. Sirius had returned to the Common Room.

"Which McKinnon and which Prewett?" Sirius asked cheekily, as he approached. "Because Marlene and Gideon make a much more interesting watch than Fabian and Landon."

"Care to place a Galleon on that?" Landon asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'd put _ten_ on that," Sirius said as he leaned against the wing of my chair. I had already felt Lily and Mary's eyes on me the moment they heard James address Sirius. I was doing my best not to fly off the handle or get to upset. I slowly gathered my books in front of me. If Sirius planned on joining this group than it was time for me to leave.

Sirius seemed to sense this and looked down at me. "I waited for you in the library," he said carefully. "You never showed."

So, he had been waiting there for me? Could he really believe after all that had happened I was going to come and tutor him?

The group around us had gone silent, watching our interaction with their complete attention. I supposed that to them this was interesting. My friends each looked irritated. Gideon looked a bit uncomfortable. He was watching Sirius with a careful glare.

"Astute observation," I said sarcastically, gathering my bag in one hand. "You should become an auror."

Sirius rolled his eyes at the slight, giving me a familiar knowing look. "I needed to talk to you, Meadowes. I know you're mad but I didn't think you'd skive off tutoring."

"You're more than capable of taking care of yourself, Sirius," I told him. My voice had reached an eerily even tone, and even I could hear the lingering hostility in it. "You never needed a tutor anyway."

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "Don't you think this is getting a bit ridiculous? Are you really going to avoid me forever?"

"That was the plan. Yeah."

I was furious he was choosing here and now to have this out. It had been barely two days since everything had blown up in my face and he wanted to sit and have a chat in front of the entire Common Room.

"You have to at least let me explain myself," Sirius pressed, his full lips pulled into a firm line. "Isn't that what you're all about? Hearing people out. Aren't you the one who's always going on about loyalty?"

Hestia let out a low whistle and eyed Sirius like he was a dead man walking. Remus gave a disappointed shake of his head. I didn't know what to say. I had no words.

"Mate," James said warningly. He must have seen the pure, undiluted rage crossing my face. Sirius looked over at James for a fraction of a second, and then regret clouded his expression.

"I just need five minutes," he pleaded, more kind than he had been a second before. "Just hear me out for five minutes and then you can feel free to do or say whatever you'd like."

"I think she's made it very clear she'd like you to leave her alone," Gideon said evenly from his armchair. He was looking at Sirius with a strange hard expression. Sirius said nothing, he was too busy waiting for me. I felt the pit of upset forming in my stomach again as I looked at him. The unshakeable feeling of betrayal filling my mouth. The idea of discussing it any further actually threatened to make my cry again but I didn't want to cause any more tension in the Common Room. It wasn't worth it. Shaking my head, I said. "Fine. _Five_ minutes."

I walked back to the through the portrait hole quickly. I wasn't going to have this conversation here for everyone else to here. It was _our_ business. And I wasn't sure of my ability not to cry again.

Sirius didn't say anything. He simply followed me silently. As we left I distinctly heard James turn to Marlene and say. "A Galleon says she forgives him."

The last thing I saw before the portrait of the Fat Lady swung closed was Marlene shake her golden head furiously. "You're on, Potter. There's _no_ way…..."

The moment the Portrait hole was closed I turned to Sirius. "Go ahead, then."

Sirius paced slowly in front of me, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "I wanted to tell you I'm sorry," he said carefully. "I've been trying to tell you how sorry I am for two days now, Doe. I really am. I know I made a bloody mess of things, trust me. And all I've wanted to the last few days is talk to _you_ , about it."

He stopped and surveyed my face for any sign of emotion. I did my best to keep it as even, and unreadable as I could. I still needed time to think.

"Come on, Meadowes," Sirius pleaded, his cheekbones becoming more pronounced as he frowned. "You know I'm reckless, and a bit irresponsible. Bloody hell everyone in the castle knows _that_. It's part of my charm. It used to be one of the things you liked about me." He paused to offer me a cheeky smile I didn't return.

"It doesn't excuse what I did," Sirius continued, sensing that his charisma wouldn't dig him out of this hole, "but you're the only real person I've ever had to keep secrets for, outside of the other Marauders. And I guess it was just a little new for me."

He let out a lofty sigh. "I don't want to have ruined things between us. James and Remus already think I did. I _like_ having you around, Meadowes. "

He looked up at me expectantly. His grey eyes were almost penetrating.

"Are you done?" I asked quietly, my voice was barely above a whisper and had started to crack. Sirius nodded.

I felt my shoulders move as an upsurge of emotions ripped through me again. My eyes threatened to fill back up with tears, so I dug my nails as deeply as I could into to keep them from spilling over.

"So?" Sirius asked hopefully, "Am I forgiven?"

I couldn't. I couldn't forgive him for this. I wasn't even sure why, but even looking at Sirius face right now sent a shiver of pain right through me. It actually hurt.

For some reason, this betrayal had broken me. It had _shattered_ me. More than I was even willing to admit. I didn't know why, but it was so much worse that it had been _him_ who had betrayed my trust. There was something about him that had made everything feel amplified.

Sirius and I had become unlikely friends this year. We had grown to respect and understand one another in a way I didn't think any of our other friends could have understood. The pain and contention of our childhoods had brought us together. We were similar. We had bonded. In a world, where I could only ever trust a handful of people, I had found another person to lean on.

And in a matter of minutes, Sirius had managed to crush that bond like a sugar quill. It made me feel stupid. Disposable. Naïve. And hurt. I never wanted to feel that way again.

My bottom lip quivered uncontrollably, and I wiped at the corner of my eyes. "I appreciate the gesture, Sirius," I said quietly. "But I don't have any desire to be friends again. There are too many people in this world who are trying to do us harm and betray one another, for me to waste a single second worrying about whether or not I can trust the people around me.

I don't have any family. I have no one outside of this castle. So I need to be able to trust the ones around me. II never have to worry about Lily, or Mary, or Marlene turning on me for any reason. That is what I need. So, you're off the hook. I'm not mad. I won't be screaming at you in the corridors. I'll be civil, but that's it."

Sirius stared back at me blankly, his face screwed up in a strange look. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. It took a second for him to register what I was saying and then his features changed immediately. His brow furrowed, his mouth pulled into a tight line, and his eyes darkened. He looked incensed. It was a face I'd only ever seen him give Slytherins. This wasn't the Sirius that I had known. There was no joy or mischief on his face. I barely recognized him.

"If that's what you want," he said coldly, and then turned and left.


	20. Riddle Me This

**Author's Note: Dear readers, those who love Sirius and Doe. I promise things won't last forever. Hang on.**

20

Riddle Me This

"Is it cruel that I'm slightly relieved?" Mary asked later that evening as the four of us headed into dinner. "I mean don't get me wrong. I'm sad that _you're_ sad, but I'm not exactly depressed over the fact that Sirius won't be hanging around anymore."

"No, it doesn't make you cruel," I sighed, not looking up from the untouched plate of food in front of me. "I know he wasn't your favorite person in the world."

"You seem upset about it," Lily said quietly.

I shrugged. "There's no use crying over spilled potion, Lils."

I twisted my fork between my fingers as I spoke. I hadn't had much of an appetite today. It had been a long, arduous day that only been made worse by the conversation I had had with Sirius earlier. It had exhausted me in a way I could hardly describe.

He had upset me. Angered me, and the worst part was I still wanted to abandon my every principle and forgive him. Because as much as I hated to admit it, I actually sort of _missed_ him and his company. I hated that feeling the most. If I didn't like spending time with him than I'd have no problem right now. It would be so much easier to hate him.

My eyes drifted further down the table to where Sirius sat. He was with the Marauders talking to Marlene's brothers. I wondered idly how he was doing. Did he feel as conflicted and miserable as I did? Part of me hoped so. The idea of him being completely unaffected at the ending of our friendship knotted my stomach. I watched him for a moment longer. He did look a little crestfallen. He wasn't the charismatic, animated Sirius that he normally was.

He looked up for a fraction of a second and caught my eye. He raised one eyebrow at me, and I turned back to my plate of food, slightly abashed.

"Well I still think the situation is rubbish," said Marlene. "I mean I do feel for him a bit, but every time I do I remember this whole thing is his fault."

"You feel for _him?_ " asked Lily in utter shock. She looked torn, taking turns looking from Mary to me. I knew she was thinking along the same lines as Mary, but didn't want to be the one to say it.

"Course I do," Marlene nodded. "Can you imagine what it would feel like to have Doe not want anything do with you?"

She placed a quick kiss on the top of my head, that made me smile, and Lily's face filled with understanding.

"Very smooth, Marls," Lily said, giving a tiny roll of her eyes. "Someone's obviously vying for favorite." Marlene winked back at me. I was just glad the conversation was moving into a different area.

Sirius been the only topic of conversation since I had filled them in on the conversation we had had by the Fat Lady, and it was growing tiresome. I was really sick of talking about me, and my problems.

The staring and whispering was still just as bad as it had been this morning, and it was really starting to get to me. The Gryffindors seemed to be the only ones who weren't doing it anymore. The rest of the school was still thoroughly enjoying taking part in the gossip. Something I didn't understand.

"I understand it's ridiculous to think people won't talk about it, but can't they at least have the decency to do it behind my back? Not out in the open where I can see them?" I said watching out of the corner of my eye where a pair of fourth year Hufflepuff boys were whispering to one another as they stared at me. They only looked away when I glared at them.

"Just ignore them," Marlene huffed confidently. "It'll have to stop eventually."

"I wouldn't bank on that if I were you," Antonin Dolohov said happily. He happened to be walking past the Gryffindor table at that exact moment and looked thrilled to have overheard. His squished, pimply face was gleaming with cruelty.

"No one invited you into the conversation, Dolohov," I reminded him. I was not in the mood to deal with any more of the Slytherins today. Narcissa and her merry band had already worn my patience too thin.

"All I'm saying," Antonin started happily, "Is that the other houses might stop talking about you eventually, but Slytherin won't. You earned this. This is what happens when your foul mother decides to breed with a _Mudblood_." He looked pleased with himself, and eyed Mary and Lily with disgust to make his point.

It was the last straw. After dealing with this same kind of talk all day, I couldn't take it anymore. They could say what they wanted about me but they were not going to blame my parents for my situation. None of this was their fault. This was no one's fault but the arrogant, cruel man who had taken my parents from me. The same kind of blood-status obsessed, Slytherin elitist that Dolohov was. I wasn't going to let them get away with it anymore. I was _done._

"You know, Antonin. I'm rather glad my mum married a Muggleborn," I told him loudly, loudly enough for people in the surrounding area to hear. Those who were already eavesdropping we're listening more intently, and several other heads turned in our direction. Good. I wanted them to hear this. Dolohov deserved it.

"Yeah?" Antonin asked coldly. "Why's that, Meadowes?" He looked smug. Arrogant. It only filled with more pride.

"I mean your mum married a Pureblood and look how _ugly_ you turned out," I finished confidently.

My words had an instant effect. All across the hall, people burst into laughter. It was hard to hear anything over the sound of it.

Lily had snorted so loudly she had begun to choke on her Pumpkin Juice. Marlene happily clapped her the back as she threw her head back in laughter. Even Mary was giggling, joining in with the sweeping laughter that had crept along the Gryffindor table.

Each of the Marauders seemed to be delighted, boasting wide smiles and echoing loud laughter through the hall. I knew why. That was the kind of thing the Marauders would say to Slytherins. The rest of us were usually more dignified when we dealt with them. But it felt really good to not be dignified for once. That was something I had learned from Sirius. One quick look at him told me that even Sirius had managed a wide smile. It faltered slightly at the end as if he had suddenly remembered that he wasn't supposed to be proud of me anymore.

I didn't think too much on it, turning back to Antonin. He was giving me such an intense look of loathing that if his wand had been in his hand I knew there was no way I would have escaped a hex. Teachers present or not. Across the hall, each one of the Slytherins looked like they were considering it too.

Antonin's upper lip twitched in anger. "I'm not surprised that someone like you has to resort to petty insults. All that dirty muggle blood has no doubt diluted your magic."

"Oh, come on," Lily hissed, shaking her head. "You can't honestly believe that, can you Antonin?"

"Course he can," Marlene said evenly. "He doesn't have the capability to understand very much. If he did he'd have managed more than four O.W.L.s. last year." Marlene smirked at him. "Purebloods chat remember, Dolohov? Your mum went _on and on_ about your exam failures at every outing this summer."

Lily giggled so hard at that she had to cover her mouth to keep the sound from echoing too loudly. Half the hall was watching us, utterly entertained. James was watching the scene enfold in front of him like he'd like nothing more than to join in.

"At least I don't spend my summers in some foul, dirty little muggle hellhole," Antonin snapped, flashing a triumphant smile in my direction. Marlene let out a breathy noise.

It didn't seem to matter to Antonin what any of us said. All that mattered to him was that Lily was a muggleborn. That my dad was one. That I lived in an orphanage. As if any of these things had any impact on anything that mattered. Blood-Status didn't affect anything. Not magical ability. Not content of our character. _Nothing._

"That's right," I said getting to my feet, letting my voice echo through the hall. "I live in an orphanage full of muggles! So what? It doesn't make me any less of a witch. The only difference between a witch and a muggle is the magic behind the wand. That's it. Blood Status means _nothing_ " The entire Great Hall was watching us now, and I didn't care in the slightest _._ "I'll go wand to wand with any one of you who believes differently. So please don't _whisper_ about it for my benefit. I'd be more than happy to describe the life of an orphan for any one of you. Because at the end of the day, I would much rather live in an orphanage full of muggles than live with a family like yours, Dolohov."

I could still feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins as I sat back down in my seat, not taking my eyes off of Antonin at all. I was amazed that he was still staring back at me. I was sure I would have the end of a wand pointing back at me by now. All he did was glare. That's what all of Slytherin house was doing too.

"Here, here, Meadowes," James called appreciatively down the table. Antonin was white with anger. He said nothing as he left the hall. I knew it wouldn't be the last I saw of him. I'd have to be careful, but it didn't matter, that had felt good.

My words had seemed to have some sort of effect on the room, and as everyone turned back to their conversations, I noticed less eyes lingering on me. Though the one pair that I couldn't shake was Sirius'. His eyes had been glued to me from the moment I stood up, and hadn't drifted away yet. His face was utterly blank. Completely unreadable. Not that I wanted to know what he was thinking anymore. I was sure it wasn't kind.

"Merlin's Beard," Lily said shaking her head in appreciation. "That was bloody fantastic."

I could still feel the heat flooding through me, pounding in my cheeks. "I just want the whole thing to be over. So, we can all go back to talking about whatever ludicrous things Filch is doing or who Marlene's sleeping with, or Quidditch. Bloody hell, I'd even take a conversation about You-know-Who right now."

Marlene snorted. "Sounds to me, like we just had one." She looked amused. Her expression making her look older and wiser than I often saw.

I blinked quickly, confused. "What do you mean?"

Marlene exchanged a quick look across the table with Lily, both of them seemed to know something that I didn't. Lily raised a red eyebrow at me, while Marlene smirked.

"You didn't notice?" Lily asked me, "That little speech you gave sounds an awful lot like something Dumbledore would say. That bit about Blood Status not meaning anything?"

"It doesn't," I said quickly. "You know that. Look at how good you are."

Lily nodded, still looking amused. "I _do_ know that. All I'm saying is that you sounded like someone who plans on doing something about all this. Like you mentioned earlier. Doe, you sounded... well you sounded like… _an auror._ "

This time, I was sure I was blushing. I could hardly hide the small smile that crossed my mouth at her words.

I hadn't meant to sound like anything. I was just voicing what I thought. I had just gotten so fed up, I said the first things that came to mind.

And those words had sounded like an auror. It meant more to me than I could describe.

It was the only bright spot to come out of the otherwise, terrible day.

* * *

I noticed the following days that people stared and whispered at me way less than they had before. I didn't know what had caused it. Whether it was the speech I had given in the Great Hall or Fabian and Gideon's constant pestering of anyone they caught doing it, but something had miraculously made the school seem immediately disinterested in me. Whatever the reason, I was extremely grateful. Our exams were right around the corner and it made studying for them much easier when I didn't have to worry about whether the people sitting beside me in the library were whispering about me and my home life.

Luckily for me, most of the fifth years seemed far too busy cramming last minute for the exams to worry about anything else. Lily spent all of her time buried in a textbook or off in an empty classroom going over Potions notes with Severus. Marlene was now having daily crying fits over the state of her grades and Mary spent every free moment she had pressing Landon for every detail he could remember from his own exam.

Studying was a welcomed distraction for me right now. My fight with Sirius had been weighing heavily on my mind. We hadn't spoken two words to one another since we had fought in front of the Fat Lady, but that didn't mean I hadn't seen him. He seemed to be _everywhere_ lately.

Like someone had relit a fire under him, Sirius had once again become the over-sensationalized dramatic version of himself that I had known for the past five years. He was impossible to ignore. He seemed to spend every free moment he had with the other Marauders doing anything they could for attention. Even with the exams approaching steadily, they were setting off pranks daily that had put Filch in such a foul mood that people would leave the corridor if they saw him approaching. They had also taken to hexing the people who annoyed them in the corridors so often that both Caradoc Dearborn and Bertram Aubrey practically lived in the Hospital Wing. Snape in particular seemed to be getting an unfair amount of their hexes and had started to avoid the areas near Gryffindor tower, something that seemed to anger Lily in particular. Their arrogance was almost palpable.

James and Peter seemed thrilled by it. Without any other distractions, Sirius and the other Marauders had gone back to being adored by the rest of the school. The times I did see Sirius, he was either glued to the Marauders causing some sort of ruckus, or sneaking around dark corners of the castle snogging whichever one of the many girls that seemed to be begging for his attention lately. And even though our exams were only a week away, I hadn't seen Sirius crack a book once. He spent most of his time in the Common Room with James boasting that he knew everything and didn't see the point of studying. Usually going on and on until Remus got annoyed, or Lily stomped upstairs for some peace and quiet. Not that anyone else minded. The rest of the school seemed to be enjoying the antics of the Marauders more than ever. To them, the Marauders were the height of cool. They could do no wrong.

The whole thing irritated me to no end. In the last few months, Sirius had become someone I actually liked. I had learned that underneath the bravado and overconfidence there was actually someone very nuanced and clever. This new version of him, the one who started fights with Snape and acted arrogant, was someone I didn't want to be around.

Sirius barely looked in my direction now, and when he did the looks he gave me were nothing short of cold indifference, something I found highly ironic considering it was him who had caused this rift to begin with. If he hadn't told the entire school I lived in an orphanage, everything would be fine right now. This was his fault. Not mine.

"You know Sirius just being like this because of you," Remus said quietly one evening as he, Lily, and I studied for History of Magic in the library. The library was even more crowded than usual, full of fifth and seventh year students studying for their exams. Carmichael McKinnon was buried behind a stack of books so tall you could only see the top of his head. Every so often he would twitch slightly and you could hear him mention a random charm or goblin name under his breath.

"Because of me?" I asked emus looking up from the chapter on the Statue of Secrecy. "How am I responsible for how he's acting lately?"

Remus gave me a knowing look from behind his reading glasses. "Because Doe, Sirius has the emotional intelligence of a child sometimes. He knows he messed up by doing what he did to you, and since apologizing isn't working, he's trying a new, albeit stupid, method," Remus dropped his voice to a whisper. "It's exactly like what happened in January with Snape, except now he doesn't have you to tell him how ridiculous he's being."

From beside Remus, I saw Lily's eyes darken at the mention of the incident with Snape, and I choose not to comment on it. None of us seemed up to that conversation.

"I think you're giving him far too much credit, Remus," I said shaking my head angrily. "Sirius doesn't make any decisions because of anyone. He knows exactly what he's doing. He's doing what he wants."

Remus looked like he wanted to say more, but his bottom lip and refrained, turning back to his History of Magic notes. He didn't bring Sirius up again that evening.

The next day was filled with more helpful distractions. Lily, now increasingly worried about the amount of days left before exams had taken to reviewing flashcards with Marlene, Mary and I at every available moment. It had been days since any of us had discussed anything that didn't have to do with exams, and were actually pleased when during our Charms lesson, Professor Flitwick had left the lesson early and told us we could all sit and do what we like.

"You know," Marlene yawned, stretching her arms across the back of her and Mary's desk. "I don't think I like being a fifth year very much"

She looked particularly exhausted. Paranoid that she wasn't going to pass a single exam, Marlene had been staying up half the night with a Defense textbook in her lap under wand light. Her normally perfect skin was patchy and she had dark circles forming under her eyes. She looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Me either, Marls," I told her, letting her rest her head on my shoulder. "Remember last year? It seemed like it was all Quidditch and Hogsmeade visits."

"Mm, Hogsmeade," Mary said longingly, her eyes glazing over at the thought of Honeydukes chocolate and butterbeer. "Merlin, I miss that village. What are the chances Dumbledore reinstating visits next year?"

"I suppose that depends on how bad everything with You-Know-Who gets over the summer," Lily said frowning at the open Transfiguration textbook in front of her. She had been having trouble with some of the Transfiguration spells all week and flat out refused to ask for James' help every time he offered.

"I still think he overacted by cancelling the visits," Marlene said, her eyes closed as she rested.

"There was a murder, Marlene," Mary reminded her firmly. "A Death Eater shot the Dark Mark into the sky. While half of Hogwarts was in the village!"

Marlene's eyes lazily drifted open. "So? Every other article in the prophet is about You-Know-Who and his mark. We can't go a week anymore without hearing about it. I don't think cancelling the trips to Hogsmeade if going to change that. If he's really that powerful and wants to kill one of us. I sincerely doubt the Hogwarts gates are going to stop him."

Unfortunately, truer words had never spoken. Marlene was right. As chilling as the thought was, if You-Know-Who wanted someone dead, they probably would be. Dumbledore would be the only person in the world able to stop him. If he managed to get through the gates of Hogwarts, I shuddered thinking of the carnage he could cause before he met the Headmaster.

"Do you think it's possible that Imogen Warbeck could be wearing anymore makeup?" Marlene asked at lunch that day, staring over at the blonde Ravenclaw. "I mean it's a wonder she's can even smile with that much lipstick on."

"It doesn't look like she's wearing that much to me," I shrugged looking up from my defense against the dark arts notes.

Mary nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I like the color anyway."

Marlene narrowed her eyes at us and forcefully stabbed a piece of chicken on the plate in front of her. "Well _I_ think she looks like a _tart._ "

Mary, Lily and I exchanged a quick look as she did. Marlene had been in a bit of a mood all day, and was clearly looking for something to complain about. Exhaustion and the stress of the exams was slowly getting to her, and it looked like she was about to snap.

"Are you alright, Marlene?" I asked her, resting a hand on her shoulder. She let out a loud, hearty sigh and rested her head on her arms.

"No," she whimpered quietly. "I'm just sick of this feeling of stress and everything. I'll be better as soon as all of the exams are over. If they ever end."

"They'll be over soon enough," Lily told her comfortingly, taking a piece of lemon pound cake and placing it on Marlene's plate for her. Marlene smiled gratefully at it and took a bite. She seemed to relax a little as she did. Her shoulders dropped and the frown fell from her face.

As she did, Frank Longbottom and Alice skipped by the Gryffindor table together. The two of them seemed to be getting stares of disbelief from people up and down the House Table. Krysten and Nora whispered something to one another heads bent together, and Tiberius McLaggen gave Frank an appreciative heads up.

At first, I didn't realize what was causing most of her house to watch the two of them with such interest. It wasn't strange to see Frank and Alice together. They were friends. They were together all the time.

It wasn't until my gaze fell upon their interlocked hands that I realized why everyone looked so interested and excited.

"Alice and Frank!" I exclaimed happily. "That's brilliant."

"Holy Hippogriff!" Marlene said, her face now shining with pure excitement and joy. "They're _finally_ together."

The two of them had taken seats down by the sixth year Gryffindors. Both of them pink-faced and clearly a little embarrassed at the attention they were receiving. Beside them, Rylie was smiling but looked a little crestfallen.

"Good for them," Lily said watching them with a happy smile. "They're made for one another, those two. I don't know two sweeter people."

"Plus no one was buying that they were just friends anymore," Mary snickered quietly, throwing a happy smile across the table to her boyfriend. Landon saw her and returned it with an overenthusiastic wink that made Marlene roll her eyes dramatically.

"I want someone to look at me like that someday," Lily said sweetly, resting her head on her hand as she watched Frank beam at Alice.

It was hard to ignore the look of pure adoration and love that he was watching our dorm mate with. I immediately understood what Lily meant. There wasn't even a sliver of doubt in Frank's eyes as he looked at Alice.

"Technically, someone already does," Mary pointed out, "Potter."

" _And Snape_ ," Marlene said under her breath so quietly that only I heard it, before she turned it into a cough.

Marlene and I were the only ones who seemed to think that Severus loved Lily. Lily was too blind to see it, and Mary didn't care enough about it to have an opinion. But to me, and Marlene, it was obvious. Snape was just as in awe of Lily and James was. The only difference was that Snape would never admit it like James so brazenly did.

Lily sighed, seemingly unaware of what Marlene had said. "Not like that. Potter is obsessed with me, there's a difference between obsession and love. It doesn't count if it makes the other person want to throw up."

"Want to throw up?" James asked, dropping into the seat beside Lily at the table. "You wouldn't happen to be talking about _Snivelly_ , are you?"

He and the other Marauders took seats right beside us at the table. Peter was giggling at James joke, and Remus was quiet. Sirius was looking at James, almost as if he was purposefully avoiding looking at me. I wanted to roll my eyes. _How mature._

"Can't blame you if you were, Evans," said Sirius with a triumphant smile. "Snivellus' hair alone makes me want to puke."

Lily's eyes turned to slits and she got same look she always got when James or Sirius made some joke at her friend's expense. "Actually, Potter," snapped Lily. "I was talking about _you._ "

James rolled his eyes and clutched at his heart. "Oh, Evans. How you _amuse_ me."

His eyes drifted over to the open Transfiguration textbook in front of her, and his dark eyes filled with an excited glimmer.

"Having trouble with the Bluebell Flames Spells, Evans?" he asked eagerly. "I could help you, you know. I happen to be excellent at the spell. McGonagall herself couldn't conjure better ones." He stopped to grin at her as he ruffled his hair in the back. "I could always give you a little private tutoring session if you'd like."

"I'd rather eat my wand, thanks," Lily said, with no trace of humor in her voice. She already had her wand in her hand and I noticed with every word James said, it twitched more in his direction.

James frowned. "Come on, Evans. Lighten up a bit, would you?"

"Lighten up? Me?" Lily demanded, her voice rising. "That's rich coming from you of all people, Potter. You're the most arrogant, self-obsessed person in Gryffindor!"

James shook his head. "Second best, I'd say. Padfoot's twice as self-obsessed as I am."

"You would be too if you were half as good-looking as I am, Prongs," Sirius said confidently.

I had started to choke on my Pumpkin Juice at his words. Sirius noticed and narrowed his eyes at me.

"Have something to say, Meadowes?" Sirius asked carefully. There was no trace of friendliness in his tone as he said my surname. He raised an eyebrow at me angrily.

I was very aware of our friend's eyes on us when I answered.

"No," I said carefully, looking him directly in his eyes. "I think James' summed it up pretty well."

Something flashed across Sirius' eyes. "You think I'm arrogant?"

"You answered that question better yourself than I ever could," I told him taking another sip from my Pumpkin Juice.

Even James seemed to sense the building tension between Sirius and I and turned back to Lily. No doubt grateful it wasn't the two of them fighting this time. I could still see the look Sirius was giving me, and it made me want to toss my wand at him. He was acting like a child.

"Come on Evans," James pressed. "You really want to let Frank and Alice be the most notorious couple in Gryffindor. Bet more people would talk if you and I got together."

Lily snorted. "I bet they would. Because everyone in this castle knows that you'd have to use the Imperius curse on me to _ever_ get me to go out with you."

"You might like me if you tried," James told her confidently. "Everybody likes me."

Lily scowled. "Just because you're obsessed with yourself, Potter. Doesn't mean everyone is."

Lily and James continued to bicker for the rest of the lunch period. I chatted with Marlene and Mary while did, doing my best to ignore the looks that Sirius was giving me across the table.

Lunch was almost over when a tiny second year Ravenclaw boy with sandy blonde hair, drifted over to the Gryffindor table and tapped me on the shoulder.

'Are you Doe Meadowes?" he asked me quietly, clutching a tiny brown rolled up piece of parchment in his hand as he did.

I nodded. "Yes, I'm Doe," I told him carefully.

He thrust the rolled up bit of parchment into my hand and then left the hall quickly. Marlene eyed in strangely.

"That a love note?" she teased, watching as the boy disappeared through the Great Hall doors.

Lily had now stopped arguing with James long enough to look on with interest.

"Right," I snorted, unrolling the parchment quickly. With all that was going on right now, I didn't have time for that even if I had wanted too.

The parchment was actually a rolled up piece of Hogwarts stationary where a ntote was scribbled in fine, even handwriting. It read;

 _Ms. Meadowes,_

 _I would like to speak with you this evening at eight o'clock in my office._

 _The password is Fizzing Whizbee's._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Professor Dumbledore._

"Dumbledore?" Marlene asked reading the note over my shoulder. "What in the Hufflepuff does he want to talk to you about?"

"Haven't done anything cheeky have you, Doe?" asked James from Lily's other side. Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"I don't know," I said shaking my head, as I looked back at Lily. "You don't think this about what I said in the Great Hall the other night, do you?"

A couple of days had passed since the incident with Dolohov, and every since I had been getting pretty nasty looks from the Slytherins but none of our teachers had said anything about it. I had figured if I as going to get in trouble for it, I would have already lost points. But this scroll in front of me was suggesting otherwise.

"Probably," Marlene answered for Lily. "I mean it was quite entertaining and all, but you did insult Dolohov in front of the entire staff."

I felt a lump form in my throat. It had felt so good to insult Dolohov and finally say all the things I had been meaning too, but now the idea of facing disappointment from Dumbledore was putting a damper on it.

"Worth it thought," James said appreciatively, "Even if you do get a detention. It was pretty brilliant."

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Remus added.

Sirius said nothing. He just watched me with a furrowed brow.

'Not that you ever would, Moony," James chuckled shaking his head. "Don't want to lose that shiny prefect badge, do you?"

Remus rolled his eyes at his friend, but his fingers did trace over the scarlet and gold badge pinned to his chest as he did.

"I've never been to Dumbledore's office," I said quietly looking at the scroll. "At eight tonight."

"I have," Marlene said quickly, "It's over on the sixth floor. You know that divot with the giant Hippogriff statue? That's the entrance."

I didn't ask her why she was in Dumbledore's office or how that had never come up before now. I was too nervous about having to face Dumbledore to think about much else. I hoped he wasn't too disappointed in me. I already had so much else going on that if Dumbledore was upset with me too, I didn't know how I'd manage it.

"The Password is Fizzing Whizbee's?" Mary asked, finally getting around to read it. "Why on Earth would it be that?"

"It was Cockroach Cluster once when I went in," James added. "And Lemon Clusters. I think Dumbledore might have a thing for Candy if we're being honest."

"He's like Moony," Sirius chuckled.

James shook his head. "Moony is a chocolate enthusiast. He doesn't specialize in all candy varieties. Suggesting otherwise is insulting, Padfoot."

"What an egregious mistake," Sirius said sarcastically, a smile plastered across his face.

I didn't hear anything else any of them said. My head was too far away thinking about what I would have to discuss with Dumbledore later that evening.

I barely paid attention in most of my other classes that day. History of Magic was as dull as ever, and Professor Binns seemed wholly uninterested in our upcoming O.W.L.s. He didn't seem to be reviewing at all, and plugged on with his lessons as usual.

Herbology was its usual amount of torture. Professor Sprout had received a small number of Mandrakes from a former student and had as take care of them for practice. As terrible as I was at Herbology, Mandrakes were one of the few plants I seemed able to handle, and the lesson wasn't terrible. Professor Sprout even awarded me ten points to Gryffindor when I managed to get my mandrake to sleep first. Everyone else seemed to hate the plants, though. Even the Hufflepuffs. Professor Sprout was taking her time making the rounds to check on each table's, giving us a little time to talk amongst ourselves. By the end of the period, Mary had ripped the earmuffs from her head and scowled at her snoring Mandrake.

"If this is anything like what taking care of an infant is, count me out," she huffed in exasperation.

"Something tells me your baby would be cuter than this," I said eyeing the snoozing, wrinkled plant with disinterest.

"I would hope so," Mary said firmly. "although I still don't know if it's for me. It's just so much work. Marlene, I don't know how your mother had six children."

"Firewhiskey and House Elves," Marlene answered unabashed. "That, and my Grandmother McKinnon would have disinherited her if she didn't have an entire brood of Pureblood heirs."

"Is that a big deal in the Pureblood community?" Mary asked her quietly. "having heirs?"

Marlene rolled her eyes and nodded. "Of course. They're all obsessed with having as many little Purebloods to carry on their name as possible. They figure the more they have, they'll start to outnumber the Muggleborns." Marlene rolled her eyes at the idea.

Something about this answer made Mary frown. I wondered if she was thinking about a future with Landon. It made me think about how my father must have felt when he married my mom. My heart ached with grief for a moment as their faces flashed through me. I made a mental note to talk to Mary about it later.

"Makes sense when you think about it," Lily said evenly. "That explains why so many of the Slytherins have such rubbish families. Half of them probably wouldn't have had kids if it weren't for the societal pressure."

"Motherhood isn't for everyone," I said quietly. "Narcissa's parents for instance could have just played Wizard's Chess that night."

Marlene burst into such loud laughter that Caradoc Dearborn's eyes flew up to meet her, and some of the Hufflepuffs did too. At the Marauders table, even James looked up with interest.

"It's funny because as bad as Narcissa is, Bellatrix is ten times worse," Marlene said shaking her head. "It's like she's gotten crueler since she left school."

Bellatrix had been a seventh year when we first years, and the one year alone of having been in school with her taught me everything I needed to know. She was one of the cruelest most vile people I had ever met. She made Rabastan look friendly and charming.

"Do you see her often?" I asked.

Marlene shrugged. "Every now and again, at those heinous parties my Grandmother has. The Black's always go, and Bellatrix is always as foul as usual. Luckily, last year it got cut short because Meredith set fire to Ines Rosier's skirt."

"Good for Meredith," I said, thinking of how disgusting Evan Rosier was. If his sister was anything like him, she probably deserved it.

"She was certainly proud of it," Marlene chuckled. "Gran flew around the yard and chased her with a goblin-made sword until Landon wrestled it away from her."

It was stories like these that sometimes made me equal parts envious and pitiful towards Marlene's family. I had always been jealous of Marlene's big family and all of her siblings. It seemed like a fantastic way to grow up. But I could never quite get over how irritating it must be to have to attend those ridiculous Pureblood events all the time. I got the impression these weren't very important to Marlene's parents, and Blood status clearly meant nothing to her siblings. Which meant that it was her grandmother who was pushing for it. I had met Grandmother McKinnon twice in my life, and both times she had been very cold to me, most likely because of my mother and her choices. Though it was nothing compared to how she treated Lily and Mary. I supposed she thought her Granddaughter could do better than two muggleborns and a half-blood for friends.

Across the room, Amelia and her friend Charity were shaking their heads at something Odie Macmillan and Amos Diggory were saying.

Professor Sprout was now reaching our table and I took the opportunity to pick up our clippers and shovels and return them to their pegs on the wall. I had to pass the Marauder's table on my way there and noticed that James was making the mandrake levitate to the delight and amusement of Peter. Sirius looked bored and Remus was finishing the assignment.

I hung each pair of scissors up on their pegs, still distracted by my meeting tonight with Dumbledore.

"I'm started to think your luck with Herbology might have turned around," Odie said beside me.

He was hanging up his table's tools as well and offered me a wide smile. His appearance had startled me. I hadn't seen him come up, and hadn't had very much interaction with him since the party in Gryffindor Tower.

"Sorry, what?" I asked again, trying for the third time to hang up the same pair of clippers.

"You're mandrake, Doe," Odie said, his smile stretching wider. "You managed to get it into the pot and asleep pretty well. I think that means you're luck with Herbology might be changing."

"Oh," I said, nodding along remembering that I had spoken with him about my abysmal Herbology skills. Most of what I had said that night was still a blur. "Right. Yeah. I doubt it, but it might be helpful with the exams coming up."

Over Odie's shoulder, I could see Amelia flashing me a sad, sympathetic look. I blinked back at her.

"So," Odie pressed on happily. "How is your exam studying coming? I've been getting in about five hours a day. What about you?"

Amelia was now furiously shaking her head behind Odie's shoulder and mouthing something I couldn't read. I couldn't for the life of me understand what she was trying to tell me and it kept distracting me from what Odie was saying.

"Yeah… well…. a fair few… I'd reckon," I said, doing my best not to appear rude. Amelia had resorted to hand signaling now. Beside her, Charity was giggling. Now, I was getting more confused.

Odie offered me another smile, despite how twitchy I was being and I started to feel a bit guilty and tried to focus on what he was saying again.

"I actually wanted to ask you something, Doe," Odie told me, standing up a bit straighter as he did. He rested one of his hands down on the table besides us. "I was wondering if maybe when all of this O.W.L stress is over, if maybe you'd like to go out sometime? We don't have any more Hogsmeade visits but maybe we could do a picnic on the grounds or something. The weathers going to be downright lovely soon."

Now I understood Amelia's desperate attempts to get my attention. She had known this was coming. That Odie was going to ask me out. I resisted the urge to sigh.

"Oh….um…I..." I stammered, trying to give myself a moment of thought before I answered. In truth, I had no desire to go out with Odie Macmillan. He was nice and cute enough, but there was nothing that drew me to him. I had been drunk on firewhiskey the night I had danced with him in Gryffindor tower and even now I couldn't remember why I had done that.

The problem was that I didn't like Odie. There was no spark. I simply wasn't interested in him. It wasn't like how I felt about Gideon. Or the vague recollections I had about kissing Sirius. As much as I wanted to forget about _that_ memory, I still knew it had been fantastic snogging. Not at all like what it would be to snog Odie.

"I'm really flattered, Odie," I said quickly, feeling like a git, "But I have a lot going on right now, and um…. I'm not really looking for anything. I'm sorry."

It felt like a cheap excuse and I could see the disappointment written across Odie's face as he looked down at me. Every ounce of hope and excitement immediately drained from his features.

"Okay," he said sullenly. "If that ever changes, let me know. Good luck on your exams, Doe."

"You too, Odie," I told him, and watches as he sulked back to his table full of Hufflepuff boys. The moment his back was turned I flashed Amelia the bird, and watched as she and the other Hufflepuff girls giggled.

Professor Sprout had already come and gone by the time I made it back to my friends table. They had one of the Daily Prophet crossword puzzles open and half-filled in on the table.

"Four letter word for the charm that shoots birds from your wand?" Mary asked aloud.

"Avis," I told her plopping down on my stool. I had just read that in my notes this morning.

"Thanks," Mary said scribbling in the answer. "Damn it. Lily does Polyjuice Potion two L's or just one?"

"Just the one, Mary," Lily answered with a giggle, filling it in for her.

She turned back to me and raised a red eyebrow. "Why do you look so guilty?" she asked. "You look exactly like Pettigrew that time in third year when he accidently cast the vanishing charm on Marlene silver hair combs?"

" _Accidently_ " Marlene snorted beside her. "Fat chance. That was a personal attack."

Lily ignored her, looking at me like McGonagall did when she needed information from one of us.

I frowned, scrunching up my nose. "Because Odie Macmillan just asked me out"

"He asked you out _during class_?" Marlene asked in disbelief, shaking her head at the rookie mistake. "How brave."

"Where you kind when you turned him down?" Lily asked hopefully.

"What makes you think she turned him down?" Mary asked.

Marlene laughed. "Come on, it's _Odie_. Of course, she did."

Now I felt even worse about it. Poor Odie. I hoped he didn't like me that much. Maybe I'd ask Amelia if she knew anyone he could set him up with.

"I was very nice. I told him I had too much going on to date anyone right now."

"Too much going on?" asked Marlene with a smirk. "So, if Gideon came up to you in the Common Room and asked, you'd tell him the same?"

I turned a bright shade of red and Marlene giggled quietly.

"Oh, bug off, Marlene."

The rest of the day passed with incident. If you didn't count Marlene relentlessly teasing me for the way I had turned down Odie. She relished in saying, " _I know you have a lot going on right now Doe, but could you possibly pass me that quill?"_

We spent all of the time from last lesson to dinner studying for exams again, though it was hard to focus tonight. The Marauders had charmed one of the mirrors in the Common Room to insult anyone who passed by it, something I had learned when it had gasped and told me I must have cast an incorrect enlarging charm on my eyes and advised me to seek a healer. The rest of the house had adored it, and crowds of people stood around while everyone took turns stepping in front of the mirror to be insulted. The resulting laughter was too loud to get anything sensible done.

"Why would anyone want to be insulted?" Lily asked, shaking her head at it. "It told me I might have spattergroit." She traced over the collection of freckles on her nose with a frown.

"They must think it's funny," Marlene shrugged tossing her legs over her armchair casually.

"It's pretty decent magic," I said watching as each of the Marauders burst into loud laughter as Carmichael stepped away from the mirror. The one thing I couldn't deny was how brilliant with a wand each of them were, with the exception of Peter.

"Landon said that they told him they got the idea from some Mirror hidden in the castle," Mary added quickly. "The mirror of Erised"

"I read about that in Hogwarts A, History!" Lily exclaimed, "Apparently the mirror is supposed to show you what you want above all else."

"Above all else?" Marlene asked, perking up. She looked suddenly a lot more interested in the conversation. "That could be interesting."

"What else could you possibly need?" Mary asked jokingly. "You're a beautiful, leggy blonde Pureblood with boatloads of gold."

"A couple of Outstanding O.W.L.s wouldn't hurt," Marlene shrugged.

We all chuckled and Marlene smiled. A mirror that showed you what you wanted above all else in the world? That could be interesting. I let my mind wander about what I would see in the mirror. My parents? I didn't see how. They were dead. Nothing I, or anyone else did would bring them back. Suddenly, the mirror lost a bit of its appeal.

The others were still discussing the Mirror of Erised with mild interest when I looked up at the clock and realized that I was running late for my meeting with Dumbledore. I could still make it on time if I left right now, and ran.

"I got to go, I have that meeting with Dumbledore," I told my friends jumping out of my seat in one quick motion.

"Good luck!" Lily called as I dove out of my seat and out of the portrait hole.

The walk to Dumbledore's office felt like it disappeared in seconds. I was becoming more and more nervous as I made my way there. What if Dumbledore wanted me to explain myself? Would I be able to tell him why I was so irritated with the Slytherins? Or did he already know?

My relentless internal dialogue took me all the way to the statue of the Hippogriff that guarded his office.

"Fizzing Whizbee's" I told it, feeling a little stupid talking to a concrete statue of a mythical creature. For whatever reason, the moment the words had left my mouth, the statue sprung to life and began to twist revealing a rising set of concrete stairs. They begun to move like escalators in a muggle building. I quickly jumped on one of the lower ones and stood as it slowly carried me to an ornate wooden door.

I hesitated for a moment before I reached out and quietly knocked on the door.

"Enter," a calm voice called from the other side of the door, and the door slid open without me laying a finger on it.

I took a step forward and stopped amazed at the room in front of me. Dumbledore's office was a wide circular room filled with the most decadent decorations I had ever seen. One wall was covered entirely in glass cabinets housing all kinds of interesting trinkets and devices. The other wall was filled, floor to ceiling, with leather-bound spell books. The walls were littered with portraits of former headmasters, some of the asleep and some of them watching me with interest as I took a step forward.

A thick dark wooden desk rested in front of the bookshelves. On one side was a small, empty wooden chair, and one the other a throne chair were the headmaster sat waiting.

"Ah, Ms. Meadowes. Do come in and have a seat," Professor Dumbledore said, gesturing to the seat in front of him.

"Thank you, Sir," I told him taking the seat. My anxiety was growing by the moment.

Professor Dumbledore's desk was littered with pieces of parchment, daily prophet articles and photographs, arraigned carefully in a specific order. Like he had been working on something before I had arrived. One of the photographs I looked past quickly looked vaguely familiar but I wasn't focusing on it.

Professor Dumbledore smiled at me and offered me a small silver tin full of yellow candies.

"Would you like a lemon cluster?" he offered kindly. I smiled thinking of what James had said earlier. I nodded and took one, letting the candy sit on my tongue while my headmaster smiled.

There was a moment of silence as Professor Dumbledore leaned back in his chair to watch me for a moment, a thought forming between his silvery eyebrows.

Resting on a golden perch beside him, was an orange and red feathered Phoenix who chirped happily at me. In one corner of the room, there was a tall planted violet colored tree. My mother had had the same one in our living room at home. The sight of it filled my chest with longing. Longing for both of my parents. Sometimes the pain of being an orphan came in waves.

"Do you know why I've asked you to come down here tonight, Ms. Meadowes?" Professor Dumbledore asked softly. His expression was calm, but otherwise unreadable. The pit in my stomach intensified, and my cheeks turned pink.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "To discuss my outburst in the Great Hall, Sir?"

Dumbledore chuckled softly and shook his head. "I don't really think that qualifies as an outburst, do you? I once witnessed a soliloquy from a Hag inside of the Hog's Head that made even my pinks turn pink. Talk about an outburst," Dumbledore shook his head, amused. "But alas, that is a story for another time."

Dumbledore shook his head. "No, Ms. Meadowes, was speak the truth as you know it, albeit perhaps a tad louder than most…-"

I threw him a sheepish look.

"…But ultimately what you did in the Great Hall was _decide_ to be on the right side of this Blood Status issue. There will come a time very soon where everyone in our world will have to choose between what is right, and what is easy. I have my every confidence that you will make the right choice when that time comes."

His words hung in the air for a moment while I processed them. I blinked. Dumbledore liked what I had done? He thought it had been right. I felt an enormous weight lift off of my chest at that idea.

"So, I'm not in trouble then?" I asked, much more relaxed then I had been a moment ago.

Dumbledore smiled and shook his head. "No Ms. Meadowes. I am quite sure Mr. Dolohov's bruised ego will heal well enough on its own."

I let myself chuckle. It was strange to hear something like that come out of Dumbledore's mouth. I knew he was much more relaxed than the other professors but it still was fun to hear.

"The only reason I called you down here this evening, Ms. Meadowes is to make sure you were all right," Professor Dumbledore said kindly. "As Headmaster of this school, I hear things."

I had figured as much, but it was still odd to know that Professor Dumbledore was well aware of the goings on in our personal lives. I didn't know If I was supposed to comment on what he said or not. I felt my eyes get wider as I waited.

"You're safe at that orphanage," Dumbledore added, surveying me with a dream-like quality in his eyes. "Safe from your uncle and any others who seek revenge for something out of your control. I know it may not be the most pleasant place to spend your summers, and I admire how valiant you are about your time there."

"Thank you, Professor," I told him. It was humbling to hear him speak about what I did as anything other than a punishment.

"I would like you to remember Ms. Meadowes, that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. There are things to hold value too; kindness, courage, power, ability, talent, family. But things that are out of your control? Those are not things to let others judge you for. That is their folly. Do you understand?"

I gave him a solid nod. "Yes, Professor. I understand."

"Good. Then I see no point in keeping you further. Thank you for sharing your time with, Ms. Meadowes."

I felt instantly relieved as I got to my feet. I had come in here this evening expecting to be lectured. To lose points or receive a detention. I had spent an entire day dreading this meeting only to have a pleasant and enlightening conversation with the headmaster. I felt stupid for having thought otherwise.

I moved my chair heading to leave when I once again caught a glimpse of the photograph on Dumbledore's desk. It was an older photograph, picturing a gaggle of Hogwarts Students surrounded by Professor Slughorn. Judging from the uniforms, I'd say it was the taken some time in the forties. I knew enough from the set-up to know it was taken at a Slug Club dinner. There were several people in the photograph; Ten boys and one blonde girl. Most of the boys seemed to be from Slytherin house, boasting emerald and green ties. But one of them in particular stood out. A boy with dark hair, dark eyes and pale skin. He had full lips and heavily pronounced cheekbones. He was handsome, but there was something in his expression, even in the photograph, that immediately stopped anyone from noticing.

The face was familiar. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and a cold shiver run down my spine. I had seen that face before. My mouth hung open in surprise as I thought about it. It took me only seconds to remember _exactly_ where I had seen his face, and the fearful chill that accompanied it.

September 1st. That was the man I had seen outside of my orphanage on the way to Hogwarts. The one who had known I was a witch.

"Excuse me, Sir?" I asked quietly, stopping. "I don't want to intrude,

professor. But do you know this boy's name?" I pointed to the boy in the photo I recognized. The photo was moving. Like all Wizard photos did. The boy kept blinking slowly and angrily at me. It gave me the exact same shuddering feeling that meeting him had.

Dumbledore looked up immediately from the copy of the prophet he was reading, his eyes wide and focused.

"This boy?" Dumbledore asked breathlessly, looking where I pointed "Do you know who this is, Ms. Meadowes?"

I shook my head. "Not exactly, Professor. I've seen him before, but I don't know his name."

"You've seen him?" Professor Dumbledore asked, hanging onto my every word. I'd never seen him look quite so focused before. "When?"

"On the first of September," I told him quickly. "When I left the orphanage, he was just standing there looking at it. I got a funny feeling from him. I thought Aubleus might have sent him. He started talking to me about what it was like living with muggles. He seemed to know I was a witch, but I wasn't in robes or anything. I don't know how he knew. I figured he must be a Wizard, because he had a wand and he knew about muggles and such."

I was babbling, trying to desperately to shake the chilling feeling that seemed to linger over me since I saw his face again.

Dumbledore didn't seem to mind how much I was talking. He was clinging to every word, his face blank and emotionless. His wrinkled, ringed hand was pressed against his temple and he looked deep in thought. When he did turn back to me, his face was hard.

"This boy's name is Tom Riddle," he said quietly, examining the photo by its edges. "I do not think your uncle sent him there. He likely visited that orphanage because that was where he grew up. Like you, Tom Riddle spent his summers away from Hogwarts at Wool's Orphanage for Unwanted and Discarded children."

Another weight lifted off of my chest. This man, this Tom Riddle hadn't been sent to the orphanage by Aubleus. He hadn't wanted me dead. He was simply visiting the place he grew up in. It still didn't explain how he knew I was a witch. Perhaps he had a good eye for that sort of thing, or he put two and two together. It was September 1st after all. He must have assumed I was heading to Kings Cross. But known of that mattered. He hadn't been sent to kill me.

"So he isn't dangerous then, Professor? He went here too," I said, relieved.

But Dumbledore was already shaking his head before I had finished my sentence. "I am afraid Ms. Meadowes that while he did attend Hogwarts, Tom Riddle is _very_ dangerous. You see, the boy I knew as Tom Riddle, is now better known as Lord Voldemort."

Any happiness or relief I had felt a minute ago had evaporated instantly. I felt as though I had been kicked in the back of the knees.

 _Voldemort._

The man I had run into at the beginning of the summer was Voldemort. You-Know-Who. He Who Must Not Be Named. I had _spoken_ with the man responsible for so many disgusting, egregious crimes they couldn't be named. The tyrant who was seeking to rid the world of Muggleborns. Of people like my father, my best friends.

I had spoken with Lord Voldemort. He had tried to commiserate with me about the perils of living amongst muggles.

I felt like I was going to be sick, and reached out to hold the back of chair for support. This couldn't be happening. It was vile. It was horrifying.

"May I ask," Professor Dumbledore began, "That this information does not go very far. I would like to ask that you not spread beyond the confines I daresay of your closest confidants. Whereabouts of Lord Voldemort will only spread panic and fear among some in our ranks. I would to like to minimize this."

I nodded eagerly, still feeling dizzy. "Yes Professor. I understand."

"Thank you, Ms. Meadowes," he said bowing his head slightly. "I take it that you have had a long day, only made longer by this conversation. I suggest you head back to Gryffindor Tower."

"Thank you," I told him and gave him one more nod.

I could hardly believe my legs could carry me out of Professor Dumbledore's office and back through the castle. My head was spinning, suddenly feeling far too heavy. Up until now, Voldemort had been a fear. A nightmare. He hadn't felt real. I had hoped this would all work itself out. That he would go away.

Now, he was real. He was a memory I had. Someone I had seen. Spoken too. He had seemed somewhat normal to me. Scary and frightening, yes, but a wizard like any other. That only made it scarier.

I rounded the corner towards Gryffindor Tower with my head still spinning. I couldn't get it to shut up about what Dumbledore had told me. What I knew now. I was so distracted by the thoughts racing through my mind that I didn't notice the pair of people snogging in the dark until I almost ran into them.

Whoever they were, they were brazen. It was only minutes until curfew, and while I was sure that Filch would have to let me slide if I said I was meeting with the Headmaster, I wasn't sure he would let these two go so easy.

Going past them was the only way to make it back to Gryffindor Tower in a reasonable amount of time, so I pushed forward. It wasn't until they broke apart for a second that I saw who it was.

Sirius was tightly wrapped around a girl with long brown hair, snogging her fiercely. It was until she laughed, turning to face me that I realized exactly who she was.

I recognized her green eyes and pouty lips. The Hufflepuff tie slung around her neck. It was that fourth year Amara Selwyn. Her face flashed through my head for a moment. A hazy memory of her flirting with Sirius during that party in Gryffindor Tower.

I felt a fury of unexplainable anger rear up in my chest at the sight of them. I didn't know why exactly but something told me they were here on purpose. Sirius knew exactly when I'd be in this corridor. I didn't know how or why, but somehow, he knew this would annoy me. He had to have planned it. Had I ever told him Amara irritated me? I must have. How else would he have known?

Sirius kept his hands resting on Amara's hips as he threw a look in my direction. Did I imagine the cocky grin on his face?

"Oops," Amara giggled seeing the sight of me in the hallway. "Looks like I should get back to my Common Room before Filch finds us."

"See you around, then," Sirius said confidently. Amara let out another giggle that made me roll my eyes. She cast another side-long, flirty glance at Sirius as she passed me, and then rounded another corner out of sight, leaving Sirius and I alone in the corridor.

Sirius leaned back confidently on the wall, eyeing me with reproachful. He still wore a sultry, cocky smile.

"Cat got your tongue?" he asked, surveying me carefully as I shook my head at him.

"What happened to using those broom closets' you're so fond of?" I asked him irritably. "Not everyone wants to catch you with your tart of the week, you know."

"Funny," Sirius said carefully, "For a moment there I thought I heard you talking to me, but that can't be, can it? I must be hearing things. You can't be talking to me. Seeing as we're not friends anymore."

"Mature, Sirius," I said shaking my head in complete disbelief at his gall. "Real mature."

Sirius shrugged and pulled out a cigarette from his robes pocket, lighting it carefully with the end of his wand. He made sure to keep eye contact with me as he brought it to his lips.

So he was smoking now too? I had to resist the urge to smack it right out his hand. But then I remembered, he was right. We weren't friends anymore. What he did, no longer concerned me. I shot him a disappointed look and stomped off towards the Gryffindor Tower.

When I got back to the Common Room, most of the house was still up and crowded around the fire. My friends were nowhere to be seen, so I quickly jogged up the stairs towards our dormitory.

When I opened the door, I found my three friends clustered around an open copy of Hogwarts A History. Lily was clutching something silvery in her hands, that greatly resembled James' invisibility cloak. All three of them looked up mischievously as I entered and closed the door behind me.

"What are you three up too?" I asked, confused on whatever I had just walked in on. I could see the looks on their faces. They were looks I knew well. The three of them were planning something.

Lily smiled widely. "What would you say if I told you that we were planning on sneaking out of the dormitory and finding the Mirror of Erised?" she asked mischievously.

My head was still spinning and pounding. I was exhausted, stressed from studying and very overwhelmed. In the last week, the entire school had found out about the orphanage, I had stopped being friends with Sirius, I had gotten in a screaming match with Dolohov in the Great Hall, spent every moment of my free time studying, found out that I had spoken to most evil, murderous wizard in a hundred years, and walked in on Sirius and Amara. I was so emotionally drained and exhausted I was desperate for a distraction. Desperate to do anything fun that would take my mind off what was weighing it down.

I plopped down on the floor in the open spot beside them.

"I would tell you, I'm in."


	21. Snape's Worst Memory

**Authors Note: The update time on this chapter was terrible I am so sorry. Blame Christmas time. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Some more VERY exciting Doe/Sirius stuff is coming soon. Please Review! and Enjoy!**

21

Snape's Worst Memory

"Tell me again how you decided to do this?" I asked curling up against the base of Marlene's four poster. "Not that I'm not thrilled about it."

We had spent the better part of the last hour curled up around Lily's battered copy of Hogwarts, A History, doing our best to ascertain exactly where the Mirror of Erised was located, and hashing out our plan.

The Mirror was supposedly stashed in the Room of Requirement. A room that was infamous around the castle for only appearing to those who had real need of it. Something that I thought might prove slightly difficult, but the others had been planning for this for hours.

When I had come back from Professor Dumbledore's office that night I hadn't expected to find my friends hashing out a plan to sneak around the castle at night. Especially not Lily. I had barely seen her since she had begun cramming for O. , so it seemed especially strange that she was the one who had suggested it.

A wide grin formed on Lily's face as she looked from Mary to Marlene. It was the happiest I'd seen her look in the last month.

"Well," she said, flipping one of the worn pages of the book carefully. "We were talking about the Mirror earlier, and it was so fascinating I couldn't stop thinking about it, you know? Like it's truly brilliant magic when you think about it. And you know I had a basic idea of where it was from reading but I needed to know exactly where it was, so I asked Potter-…."

"You asked _James?_ " I demanded, absolutely floored. "You actually asked _James Potter_ for help?"

The idea seemed incredulous to me. Even more ridiculous than sneaking out of our dorms to roam the castle at night.

Lily flashed me a guilty look, still pink-cheeked. "Well I didn't want to ask Potter, _obviously,_ " she said shaking her head a bit to dramatically to be convincing, "I went over there to ask _Remus_ , but Potter overheard and started pestering me about it, so I asked him, and he told me exactly where it was."

" _And_ gave her his invisibility cloak," Marlene added quickly with a very impressed tone.

"Good thing too," Mary nodded eagerly as she laced up her sneakers, "I don't know how we'd pull this off without it, mind you…"

Having James' invisibility cloak would make what we were about to do a hundred times easier. Not that I was surprised he gave it to her. James was always looking to do Lily favors, in order to soften her on him. She was the one who rarely let him.

"Well color me surprised, Evans," I said slightly impressed. If Lily was able to willingly take help from James then their relationship was better off than I thought.

Lily blushed, and busied herself with straightening the arm of her uniform sweater. "I just thought after all the stress of exams and everything that this might be something fun we could do to take our minds off it. Marlene looked ready to throw herself into the Gryffindor Fire earlier."

"You would be too if you realized you had barely learned a thing after five years of school!" Marlene said pitifully from the corner. She wrapped her arms around her legs and Mary pat her head comfortingly.

"It's just exam nerves, Marley," Lily added, throwing a sympathetic glance in her direction. "I think this will help squash them a bit."

Marlene grinned happily, running her wand threw her hands. "It's worth it just to see you abandon your Prefect ideals, Lilypad."

Lily's face turned upward into a confident smirk as she ran her finger over the shiny prefect badge pinned to her sweater. "Some things are worth a little rule-breaking don't you think? As long as no one gets hurt. Well, that and I figured if we get caught we could always find some way to blame Potter. It's not as if McGonagall or Filch wouldn't believe us." She grinned confidently.

"Very true."

We spent the next half hour curled up on one of the Common Room couches waiting until everyone else went back up to their dormitories. It seemed to take much longer than usual, with all the fifth and seventh years cramming for their exams.

Rylie and Alice seemed to take the longest, stretching it to almost past midnight before they gave up on their studying by the fire. Marlene had fallen asleep while she waited.

When the Common Room was finally empty, Lily unearthed the silvery invisibility cloak from her bag and shook it out.

"Do you think we'll all fit under there?" Marlene asked, yawning and stretching from her nap. Her legs were the longest out of all of us and stretched across the carpet.

"The Marauders manage," said Lily confidently. "I suppose they crouch? Both James and Sirius are taller than you though, so we should be fine. I'm determined to make it work."

"If Lily's determined, you know it will happen," Mary said with a smirk.

The four of us squished as close as we could together as Lily tossed the cloak over our heads. Thankfully, it seemed we were just the right size to all fit comfortably under the cloak. Only the very front of our toes were visible when we walked, and we all agreed it was highly unlikely that in the dark of the castle, anyone would be searching for our toes.

It took longer to creep through the silent castle under the cloak. Each of our steps had to be in tandem and we did our best to keep the sound from echoing across the stone walls.

"How do the four of them this do this so often?" Marlene hissed quietly as we barely managed up a set of stairs. "I keep feeling like I'm going to trip one of you."

"Persistence and a general love of rule breaking, I'm guessing," Lily answered with a chuckle as we crossed the corridor slowly.

"Well remind me to compliment them on their skills the next time me see them," Marlene added, creeping along with caution."

"Right. As if their heads need to be _any_ bigger than they already are."

"Maybe we should whisper," I suggested quietly, hearing their voices echo slightly down the corridor.

I could sense the usual Marauders bickering about to start between Marlene and Lily, and though it was usually good-natured we didn't have time for it tonight. But I didn't need to worry about it. One stern look from Mary was all it took for the two of them to drop it altogether.

We rounded another corner and all four of us stopped immediately. Four shadowy figures stood at the end of the corridor, whispering at one another in quiet voices, their shapes illuminated only by the moonlight shining through one of the large bay windows.

"But I don't understand _why_ ," one of the voices whined loudly. Too loudly. It echoed down the corridor and the others all hissed.

"Merlin, will you shut it, Zabini?" another voice whispered crossly at the first. "Are you _trying_ to be overheard?"

"Daft girl," said a third. I recognized that voice. It was Rabastan. I'd heard it enough times to have recognized it in my sleep.

"We shouldn't have brought her," snapped a fourth. "I told you she'd do this, Walden."

My ears perked up at the sound of it. There were Slytherin Sixth Years out in this corridor. Something told me that they four of them were not out of bed after curfew to go on a playful adventure like we were. We had stumbled on something.

I turned to see looks of interest and curiosity on my friends faces too. With the exception of Mary. She looked just as terrified and put off as she always did when there were Slytherins around.

I was now far too curious to turn around and go the other way to the Seventh floor. I wanted to know what these Slytherins were talking about.

Eyeing my friends silently, I pressed a finger to my lips and nodded in their direction. Mary looked disheartened but the other's understood and crept forward and quietly as we could, crouching so they wouldn't see our feet.

We stopped when we just behind the group of them. The light from the window was brighter here and we could see each of them in perfect detail.

Sabrina Zabini was leaning against the far wall, under the arm of Walden McNair, who looked enormously pleased with the good fortune of being in her presence. Sabrina was incredibly beautiful with long dark hair and flawless brown skin. Her eyes were narrowed, framed by thick black lashes that kept touching her cheeks as she rolled her eyes.

Sabrina went through men faster than Sirius did with women, and Walden's large ears and overly narrow face weren't up to her usual standards. He seemed to sense this, as he kept staring down at her formidably curvy frame with the look of man who had been just given a sack of Galleons.

Rabastan and Antonin Dolohov stood in front of them. Rabastan was no longer wearing his school uniform, having traded it for a velvet smoking jacket that looked very out of place at Hogwarts.

My heart skipped nervously at the sight of them. I never wanted to run in to Rabastan knowing what that usually led too. And I had recently made enemies with Dolohov too after what I had said to him in the Great Hall the other night. He was a hotheaded Slytherin, not evolved enough to get over something like that. It was only a matter of time before he came collecting for _that_ embarrassment I had caused him.

Between the two of them, I knew enough to know how safe I was under the invisibility cloak right now.

"I just don't understand why we can't talk about this in our own Common Room?" Sabrina demanded, pressing a cigarette in her hand to her mouth.

"Because Sabrina, not everyone in Slytherin thinks we way _we_ do," Rabastan remind her calmly, straightening his collar.

"You really want mudblood sympathizers and Gryffindor-lovers like _Emmeline Vance_ overhearing _this_ conversation?" Antonin added.

Beside me I felt Lily tighten angrily. Her eyes narrowed in frustration at Antonin. Her tiny pale hand clutched her wand tighter.

" _Vance_ ," Sabrina snorted, taking another puff from her cigarette with a haughty, irritated look on her face. "You know I am so sick of everyone _idolizing_ that slag just because she comments on the matches. She's not even _that_ good-looking."

Sabrina's jealousy was written all over her face. It was clear from the look on Sabrina's face that she detested her house mate for her good looks.

The other sixth-years looked irritated, rolling their eyes at her obvious vanity.

"Why does it even matter to you, Sabrina?" Walden asked, stroking her arm with a kind of reverence. "She's _a half-blood_. No one with any standards whatsoever would want to go near her."

"Except maybe Rabastan," Antonin chuckled darkly. "He's the only Pureblood I know regularly chasing after half-blooded little tramps."

"Only the one, Antonin," Rabastan corrected him coolly, his eyes suddenly focused with a renewed sense of purpose.

I felt the gaze of my friends move to me, as I realized Rabastan was talking about _me_. It made my wand hand shake.

"You're odd, Rabastan," Walden said, taking a puff from Sabrina's cigarette. "Even for a Lestrange. Thought I suppose you do have a family history of getting women the easy way, don't ya?"

"You better watch your mouth, McNair. Unless you want me to start a conversation about _your_ family history. It's not nearly as clean as mine." Rabastan snapped, more irritated than he had been a moment ago. Whatever Walden had said had clearly sparked some kind of rage inside him. I wish I knew what they had been talking about. I'd love to have information that could make Rabastan look that put out.

"Easy Lestrange, I was _joking_."

There was a haze of smoke between the four of them, from the cigarettes nestles in Sabrina and Dolohov's hands. I watched in horror as the smoke made its way towards us and parted on other side of the cloak, slightly revealing our presence. Lily eye's widened in fear too, seeing it also, but the others were so engrossed in their conversation they didn't notice.

"Can we get back to the point of this little meeting?" Antonin hissed angrily. "I don't fancy a detention from that scraggly little squib of a caretaker."

"Right," Rabastan said steadying himself. " _Well_ , I heard from my brother, Rodolphus that the Dark Lord is having another one of his recruiting bouts this summer, and he's even considering taking on wizards still in school."

Lily in took her breath so quickly, it made a little noise and she covered her mouth with her hands. Marlene grabbed her shoulder for support, but the group in front of us didn't hear it.

I was too engrossed to have noticed. You-Know-Who was recruiting? How could any more people be swayed to join his disgusting revolution?

"Oh, come off it, Rabastan," Walden said shaking his head. "Why would You-Know-Who want followers who aren't even of age?"

He pulled Sabrina closer to him, looking thoroughly unconvinced. Sabrina looked uneasy, taking another puff of her cigarette as her eyes darted back and forth from Rabastan and Antonin.

Rabatsan's eyes narrowed at them both in irritation. "Because there is strength in numbers, you blistering idiot. He's the most powerful Wizard in the world. He needs huge numbers at his disposal for what he has planning in the future. He knows better than anyone that trust and loyalty should be placed in good Pureblood families. He's wants to groom the right kind of followers to join him, even if they're still in Hogwarts. And considering half of their relatives are already with him, there's no harm."

Under the cloak, both Mary and Lily looked like they were going to be sick. Marlene was staring back at them with a steely hatred. I understood exactly what they were feeling. It was revolting enough to know that You-Know-Who and the people who believed like him were out there, but to know they were right under our noses. Sharing the Great Hall with us? That was a whole new kind of horrifying.

Walden stared back at Rabastan silently, having realized his mistake.

"So, if I were you lot, and I wanted to secure myself a spot in his ranks upon leaving this ridiculous place, I'd make sure that your allegiance is well- documented," Rabastan said sternly.

Sabrina took another nervous puff of her cigarette. Her right leg had started to bounce nervously.

"I suppose your spot is already secured then?" Antonin asked. "Your father and brother are already among his most trusted, aren't they?"

Rabastan rolled his eyes. "If you want to be a part of this Antonin, I suggest you work on tightening your tongue. It doesn't do well to run around bragging." He shook his head. "But yes, I am not worried about my place. I have proved myself beyond worthy, and will only continue to do so in service of the Dark Lord and his infinite wisdom"

His eyes glazed over at the memory of something, and a grin spread across his cruelly, handsome face.

"But you haven't joined up yet, have you?" Sabrina asked, the cigarette dangling from her full lips.

Rabastan looked annoyed at her. As if he hadn't wanted her here in the first place. "Not _yet_."

He said it as if he were hopeful that this fact would change soon. It made me shiver. I didn't know why I was surprised. Rabastan was exactly the kind of person who would join a cause like Voldemort's.

"Well I personally can't wait to try and join up," Antonin said excitedly, "Who else do you think

will try?"

Rabastan shrugged. "You never can tell. Half the house believes the same things we do, but are too cowardly to do anything about the mudbloods themselves." His eyes rolled. "Rosier and Avery definitely. Their fathers will insist on it. Nott and Wilkes most likely too, you know how they hate to be left out, even if they are completely daft."

They all chuckled. It made me want to kick them. They weren't even loyal to their _own_ people.

"And Burke certainly seems passionate about the cause. Travers too. Selwyn won't. Her family maybe, but she's not a joiner. The Carrow's, I'd say yes. Montague, maybe. Mulciber definitely will. He's proven himself a hundred times over with what he did to that filthy Mudblood Macdonald."

Mary had gone completely still, fear etched across every inch of her face as she unconsciously reached out to hold her scarred forearm carefully. Every single one us under the cloak were filled undiluted rage. Marlene's wand was now in her hand. Lily had only lowered her own to wrap her arm around Mary.

"Shame really, he didn't get to finish the job," McNair said chuckling.

It took everything I had not to hex him right then and there.

"What about Narcissa?" Sabrina asked carefully. She looked strange like she hadn't expected this topic of conversation to come up when she agreed to come up here. Her face was drained of color and her voice had become breathy and uneven.

"Who knows," Rabastan said shrugging. "Her sister Bellatrix has already proven her dedication to the Dark Lord beyond words, and Narcissa seems to be on the _right_ path but look what happened with Andromeda and Sirius-"

They all hissed again. It made me smile. I'd never been prouder of Sirius than I was in this moment. Being a 'blood-traitor' and betraying his family name was one of his most admirable qualities. I knew he'd be pleased if he heard the way they spoke about him now. I wished momentarily that I could tell him about it, but knowing that he wouldn't want to hear anything from me anymore. The thought depressed me.

"And little Regulus?" Sabrina pressed. "What about him?"

Rabastan shrugged. "Too young to tell. He seems eager when we speak to him about the message, but I suppose his blood traitor brother is still encouraging him to follow in his _filthy_ footsteps."

This conversation had only made my stomach knot up more. It was terrible knowing the foul thoughts that lingered in the Slytherin Dungeon and just how many people seemed to believe them wholeheartedly. I was about to suggest that we abandon our eavesdropping and head for the Mirror instead, when we heard something that I knew we'd never walk away from.

"What about Snape?" Antonin asked. "Flighty little thing he is. He seems willing, but he's always running around with that ginger-haired mudblood."

Lily's hands had begun to shake. I grabbed her hand to comfort her.

"Snape is a tricky one," Rabastan purred, mulling it over. "He _is_ talented, and passionate about the Dark Arts. I think that mudblood is no more than a soft-spot. Perhaps red-heads are his _thing_." Rabastan chuckled, like the idea revolted him. Lily's lips pursed into a thin, white line. Her eyes lit like a furious fire.

"Anyway, I spoke with him last week about all of this," Rabastan added casually, "and he told me he would do what he could. Even said he'd accompany me to a meeting over the summer. So, I suppose his loyalty lies with the cause. Anyway, I'm sure when the time comes, everyone will make their choice. Even Snape."

His words hung in the air for a moment, the weight of them weren't lost on anyone.

Snape had always dabbled with the Dark Arts. Everyone knew that. But until now, Lily had always claimed he'd _never_ act on them. That he was misunderstood. Bullied by the Marauders. After all, no one could choose their house. Or the people in it.

But now that wasn't the case. Snape _was_ acting on them. He was hanging out with future Death Eaters. He was interested in Voldemort. He was going to join up.

I didn't even have to look at her to know how upset Lily was. Her entire body had tightened with fury, and a furious snarl had escaped from her lips.

All four of the Slytherins faces turned in our direction. They had all heard her and had gone silent.

"What was that?" Antonin asked anxiously. Rabastan's eyes turned cold as one hand reached out and grouped the air, only inches from where the cloak was. Each of us took a minuscule, silent step away from him.

"We should go," Sabrina said quickly, her anxiety turning to full on fear, "before someone comes around and finds us."

Rabastan's eyes were scanning the corridor with a strange fury. Like he knew someone was there, and he didn't want to let it go. He stared wildly around for a few seconds while the others grew irritated.

"Fine," he said quickly, scanning the corridor one last time. I could even feel the paralyzing stare through the cloak. "Let's go."

Sabrina dropped her cigarette on the stone floor and stamped it out with her foot, and the four of them leisurely walked down the corridor and out of sight.

Only seconds after they were gone, Lily ripped the invisibility cloak off the four of us, her eyes wide and full of tears.

"How. Could. He?" She demanded tearfully, her chest rising and falling as she paced the floor with tiny steps. Her whole body seemed to be shaking with fury and upset. She looked like a wild animal that had been finally set loose.

"I mean I _knew_ he was hanging around with Mulciber and Wilkes," Lily continued, her voice becoming more frantic with every word. "But _Rabastan?_ Talking about joining _Voldemort?_ That's…well that's just _disgusting_."

No one knew what to say. It was common knowledge that none of us were particularly fond of Snape. I had always suspected something like this was coming, and never worried too much about it. I only cared that it hurt Lily.

"Maybe Rabastan's full of it," I suggested half-heartedly. "He spends half his time in this castle lying through his teeth."

Even as I said the words, I didn't believe them. It was highly unlikely that Rabastan was lying. Snape seemed exactly like the kind of weak-minded individual who could be swayed by the promise of dark magic and power that Voldemort offered.

"Do you think so?" Lily asked quietly, her voice cracking. A tiny sliver of hope hung on her face. The last shred of hope that believed her childhood friend hadn't completely given over to the Dark Side.

Marlene and Mary were silent beside me. I had a sinkinging suspicion that all three of us were on the exact same page. I didn't want to lie to Lily, but I didn't want to destroy her either.

"I really don't know, Lily," I told her honestly. "I don't know Snape. You do. If you want my advice, I think you should talk to him about it. You can't get upset about anything until you know if it's true."

"Yes, you're right. I have to talk to him. Maybe he can straighten this whole thing out," Lily said nodding her head slowly, "Because if it is true….."

Her words hung in the air, unfinished. All four of us knew exactly what it would mean if it were true. If Snape really had joined the likes of Rabastan Lestrange, then his friendship with Lily was over.

Lily nodded again, more fiercely this time. "Right. Well let's get back under this thing and find the mirror, shall we?" she asked, fanning out the invisibility cloak in her hands.

Mary and I exchanged a quick look.

"Are you sure you're still up to it, Lily?" Mary asked hesitantly. "No one would blame you if wanted to go back to the dormitory and turn in."

Lily shook her dark red hair with a strange amount of certainty. "No. I appreciate it, but no way. We came out here to have fun, and that's what we're going to do. This is exactly what we need."

I knew enough about grief and sadness to know than when someone wanted a distraction, you should always give it to them. If finding the Mirror of Erised would cheer up Lily, then I wanted to do it with her.

"Alright, then," I said encouragingly, doing my best to lighten the mood. "Let's go find out our deepest desires."

The four of us curled up under the cloak again and quietly made our way to the Seventh Floor, not stopping and not saying another word. Luckily, we didn't run into any one else on our way there. Very abruptly, in the middle of the corridor, Lily led us over to a blank wall and stopped, pulling the cloak off of us.

"This is where it's supposed to be," she said eyeing the wall with hesitation, "That is if Potter isn't pulling one over on us."

Her eyes glazed over, no doubt thinking that that might very well be a possibility.

"What do you have to do again to make the room appear?" asked Mary hopefully. From her tone, it was clear she was trying to be a bright and chipper for Lily as possible.

"You just have to really concentrate on what you need and the room will appear and make it happen."

"It works just like that?" Marlene asked mischievously, a grin spreading across her face. "That could be _very_ convenient. Definitely would have helped me and Baxter Thornbottle out last week."

"If you keep thinking like _that_ , the room is going to turn into a bed chamber, Marlene," Mary warned her. Marlene winked in response.

Lily didn't seem to hear them. She was staring at the blank wall completely focused. She let her eyes slipped closed and her mouth parted slightly. She was extremely determined for this outing to go well.

It didn't seem fair to have her be the only one trying. So, I followed her lead and closed my eyes too.

 _We need to use the Mirror of Erised_ , I thought firmly, doing my best to clear my head and focus. _We really need a pick-me-up._

A sound of crunching stone made my eyes flutter open. A thick set of ornate iron doors had formed in the wall in front of us. Forged into the wall that only moments before had been made of nothing but stone, the Room of Requirement had revealed itself.

It was rare spending so much time in a place like Hogwarts, to see any kind of magic that was new or fascinating to us anymore. It was one of the casualties of the castle. But the magic of the Room of Requirement had somehow managed to surpass this, and render appreciation from each of us.

"Brilliant," Marlene said appreciatively.

Mary stared up at the mirror as if she had never seen anything so fascinating in her entire life.

Lily looked especially thrilled. She moved forward tentatively, opening the door excitedly. The rest of us followed after her into the room, still staring after the doors with a mixture of curiosity and astonishment.

The room that we entered seemed a little dull in comparison to its entrance. It looked like any of the other empty classrooms in the castle, an expansive room of stone walls and floors. I had expected something just as impressive as the doors. This room was dark, with almost no light as we made our way through it.

"And you're sure it's in here?" Marlene asked, as we walked deeper through the shadowy room. Hesitation was written across her face.

"No idea, actually," Lily said, leading the way.

Light had started to shine through the room the deeper into it we went. After a few more steps we realized why.

Leaning against the furthest stone wall, and throwing off a gleaming light of its own, was a stately gold mirror. I now understood why the room was empty. There was nothing that could be placed in this room that could even compare to the mirror. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on.

The glass of the mirror was shining and so clear it reflected the entire room back in it, including each of us, though I doubted any one was paying any attention to what we looked like with such a beautiful ornament before them.

It had gold turrets and carvings atop it that stretched all the way to the top of the vaulted ceiling. Each of them seemed to be engraved with some sort of curly writing that I thought might be in Latin. It was imposing, too, standing twice as tall and wide as any one of us.

If the Mirror was very old, it certainly didn't look it. There was not a trace of time on its gilded frame or smooth surface. It looked like it had been bequeathed from the Heavens, like Merlin himself had bequeathed it to this very room only moments before.

It seemed to be giving off its own source of light. The glassy surface threw a bright, shiny haze of light around it, like a halo.

The mirror had rendered each and every one of us silent. We simply stared up at it, floored. That had to be part of the magic of it. It was drawing us towards it. I had an instant longing to touch it. To _see_ it. It felt like every fiber of my being _needed_ to stand before it and look into its polished, lustrous reflection.

Each of us stood hesitantly by the door, watching the mirror with reverence. I couldn't help but think that Hogwarts, A History hadn't done it justice.

"Who wants to go first?" Lily asked, staring directly at it, her eyes glued to it like it was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen.

"You," Mary said quickly, her eyes glued to the mirror. She couldn't tear her eyes away from it.

"Definitely you," I added, still feeling the unshakeable draw the mirror seemed to be giving off. This whole thing had been Lily's idea. She definitely deserved the first look.

Marlene was staring at the mirror with appreciation, but she didn't seem to have the obsession with it that the rest of us did. She looked a little unimpressed.

Lily gave a sharp, eager nod and practically skipped over to the mirror. She lingered at the edge of the light it gave off for only a moment before she readied herself and took a proper step towards it.

I watched as she stared deep into the reflective surface of the mirror for a moment her eyes concentrating. It was only a second before her mouth popped open in surprise, her entire face filling with emotion.

" _Oh_ ," she whispered happily, her entire face flickering quickly with emotion. "Oh, _Wow_."

The only thing I could see in the mirror was Lily's reflection, and a little behind her, Mary, Marlene and me. However, the magic of the mirror operated, I couldn't see what Lily was seeing.

"Is it cool?" I asked her softly, seeing the look of pleasure forged on her features. Lily gave a very eager nod.

Lily smiled brighter, staring deeper into the surface of the mirror. Her entire face was lighting up now. She was staring as deeply as she could at the mirror. Her hands moving delicately at her sides as her smile grew wider and wider. Whatever it was she was seeing, was elating her. It was almost contagious. I could feel the corners of my mouth turning up into a smile as I watched her.

"You're killing me with the suspense Lily," Marlene pressed her impatiently. "What do you _see?_ "

"I see me," Lily said, her voice soft and melodious. "I'm sitting with on the floor of a living room, with a beautiful dark-haired baby." She continued to watch the mirror, a dream-like quality forming on her face.

"You're a mom, Lily!" Mary clapped happily.

" _A baby?"_ Marlene asked in equal parts horror and shock. "Merlin, I hope you're old."

Lily didn't dare look away from the mirror as she spoke. "I'm a bit older, I suppose. My hair's longer. Oh look! Petunia's there too! She actually looks pleased. And you three! You're all on the couch. And my parents are there too! And Severus!" Lily's chest rose in excitement, as she bounded up and down. "Everyone looks so happy!"

What Lily was seeing made perfect sense. Lily, who loved first and foremost, saw everyone that she cared about surrounding her. Each of them pleasant and getting along, even those like Petunia and Severus who it seemed highly unlikely would ever be sitting among people like Mary and I willingly.

Lily's hand was now resting on her chest as she started to sway in front of the mirror. Her eyes actually looked a little misty as she watched.

"Tell me, Lils," Marlene started mischievously. "Is there a husband in that picture of yours? Perhaps messy-haired glasses-wearing wearing one that answers to the name of Potter?"

I had to admire Marlene's brazenness. Lily didn't turn away from the mirror but a dark blush had started to cross her cheeks.

"I can't see his face. His back is to me," Lily said quickly, so quickly it sounded an awful lot like a lie. Her eyes didn't move from the reflection. She was clearly enjoying it too much to look away.

"Sure, Lily," Marlene joked, obviously unconvinced. "You keep telling yourself that."

This time, with difficulty, Lily forced her gaze away from the mirror to raise an eyebrow at Marlene.

"If you honestly believe that Potter is what I want above all else, then you're just as cracked as he is, Marlene."

"I'm going to put that in my speech at your wedding."

Both Mary and I chuckled softly as we looked at one another. At the very least, Marlene was doing an excellent job at distracting Lily from what we had heard about Snape. Though, if she kept going like that, she ran the risk of Lily hexing her. Nothing got Lily going more than suggesting she end up with James Potter.

"Looks like it's your turn then, Marlene." Lily shook her head and stepped away from the mirror, casting one more longing look at it. "I _hope_ you see Caradoc in there."

Marlene snorted. "Fat chance of that."

Lily grabbed Marlene and dragged her into the light in front of the mirror, making sure she was looking into properly and then stepped back.

It was clear from the uncertainty in her eyes, that Marlene had her suspicions about the mirror. She straightened herself as she looked at it, playing with and fluffing her honey colored hair. She pursed her lips and continued to stare at her reflection as she would have in any other mirror.

I could see the exact moment that the mirror revealed itself to her. Mid hair flip, Marlene immediately stopped primping herself. The confident sultry look fell from her face and her jaw hung open. She was stunned.

"Well my boobs have gotten bigger," she joked hesitantly, still taking in whatever she was saying. "Oh, Merlin. _Wow._ "

Marlene immediately jumped up and down in place, squealing with absolute delight. The sound of it ricocheted through the empty room like a peal of bells. Her uncertainty had been immediately replaced with the usual level of Marlene enthusiasm.

"I'm a bride!" she shrieked happily. "I'm in a huge, white wedding dress, all made up. And blimey! My veil is twenty feet at least! It's being carried by unicorns!"

Marlene shrieked with delight again and actually stroked the mirror's surface, her eyes locked on the mirror like it was her newest conquest.

"Unicorns?" Lily asked happily. "That sounds beautiful!"

"It is!"

"And there's ballerina's dancing. And a chorus of pixies singing from the trees. And blimey, like two hundred guests. It's even bigger than Meredith's wedding!" Marlene's smile was stretching so wide it looked like it might crack her face in half. I'd never seen her looks so delighted before. "Oh, and there's the groom! Of course, his face is all blurry. Hmm? I suppose it would be _too difficult_ to just show me who it is, huh? Never mind though. It doesn't matter! I'm getting married!"

It was strange how powerful the magic of this mirror seemed to be, and how deeply into people's souls it was able to reach. Marlene, who avoided commitment and partners like the plague, had the desire to settle down. She _craved_ a steady partner someday. A soul mate to love and cherish. And in true Marlene fashion, a giant over-the top celebration of her and her love would follow. I didn't expect any less from her. Marlene didn't do anything perfunctory.

"So, I take it it's not Caradoc Dearborn then?" I joked happily.

Marlene didn't look away from the mirror as she snorted. "He wishes."

"Yes, he does," Lily nodded eagerly, shaking her head at the magnitude of poor Caradoc's unwavering obsession. He made even James look subtle.

Marlene stayed firmly planted in front of the mirror for several more minutes. Sighing with delight every now and then. We let her take her time. Marlene very rarely looked this pleased. And everyone seemed to be happy about the subject matter,

"Is it time for us to choose our bridesmaids dresses yet?" Mary asked her after another moment passed.

Marlene grinned into the mirror. "They'll be pink, of course. I wouldn't want you to clash with the pixies."

"Or the _unicorns_ ," I chuckled at the absurdity. If Marlene really did have a wedding. Unicorns would probably only be the beginning. She'd probably have Goblins in the corner hand-making gold place settings.

Marlene transfixed me with a wide grin. "You're only laughing because you haven't tried it," she assured me, "You have to come here."

She cast a long, wistful look into her reflection and then pulled herself away from the mirror, reaching for my hand.

"Oh," I said quickly, " uh…"

The magic of the mirror seemed to be more powerful than I had ever imagined, and now the idea of facing it seemed much more terrifying than it had before. Would if I saw something I didn't like? Or something that upset me. I would probably end up seeing my parents, and that would only do more hurt than good. I wasn't sure if that was something I wanted to see. It was painful enough already.

"You _have_ too," Marlene said firmly, dragging me over to the mirror with a concerning amount of strength. "It's brilliant. Trust me."  
She was forceful, pushing me directly into a prominent spot in front of the mirror and stepping back. I took a deep breath as I approached the mirror even closer. I had to face the fact that I couldn't control what I was going to see.

For a minute, all I saw was my own reflection. My white-blonde hair hung long, framing my pale skin like a curtain. My eyes, already abnormally large on their own, were wide with uncertainty and nervousness. It was easy when to forget that this was a magical mirror when looking at your own reflection. My imperfections still stood out to me like usual, flooding into my brain as I stared; Are my eyebrows too dark? Is my top too full to match the bottom?

And suddenly, none of it mattered. The reflection in the mirror had changed and silenced any lingering thoughts about my face that I might have had. My mouth fell open with surprise as I stared at _my mother_.

My heart immediately ached at the sight of her, sending a spike of both grief and excitement down my chest at the same time.

She was younger here, younger than I remembered her in life. In her late twenties. Maybe thirty. Her hair was cut and expertly styled, sitting just past her shoulders. Her blue eyes just as bright and wide as I remembered, sparkling back at me. It was clear she was an adult. The subtle differences between teenager and woman, showed in her curvier figure and the way she carried herself. Faint lines etched into her face, showed the beginnings of the aging process, and still hadn't detracted from her beauty. Her lips were full and curved into a wide smile as she beamed back at me.

She looked happy. _Really_ happy. It made me miss her all the more.

"What do you see?" Mary asked quietly, trying her best not to pry.

I could barely speak. "I see… my mom." I could hardly tear my eyes away from her.

She carried herself confidently. There were two other people on either side of her, one of them even had his arm around her, but I was too busy looking at _her_ to notice them.

She wore tall, laced, leather boots and thick woolen robes embroidered with silver stitching. The breast of the robes was littered with ribbons, pins and badges. Awards. The largest of the badges was a heavy, silver one that had one word etched into it in thick black letters; Auror.

 _Auror?_ That didn't make any sense. My mother had never been an auror. If she had, I would have known. She had worked at Madam Malkins. It was the only job she could get after she had 'disgraced' her family.

I stared closer at the woman in the reflection, growing even more confused by the second. My mum had a cluster of freckled across the bridge of her nose, she'd had them since childhood. This woman, didn't have any. Her nose was different than my mom's too. Smaller, and more upturned. Her jaw was squarer too. Like my dad's.

Realization hit me so hard, I felt like I had been hit with a jinx. My mouth fell open in shock as I looked back at the woman in the mirror and realized exactly who she was.

"It's not my mum, actually," I whispered quietly. "It's… well... it's me."

The woman reflected in the mirror was _me_. There was no denying it. My features were reflected back to me, disguised slightly by age, but still clearly mine. I didn't know how I hadn't seen it before.

"I'm an Auror!" I said happily, a wide smile creeping up my face as I felt an upsurge of pleasure.

"Wow!" said Lily, clapping her hands together excitedly. "That's brilliant!"

Marlene chuckled. " _Of course_ , you are."

Now that I knew the woman in the mirror was me, after all, I felt elated. It was surreal looking at myself like this. As an adult. As an accomplished auror. It was everything I had ever wanted. I could have looked at it all day.

After another minute, I finally tore my eyes away from the reflection of myself to look at the other people on my either side. The one on the left I knew instantly. The large, blonde, one-legged shape of Mad-Eye Moody was easily recognizable. He wore the same black Auror robes I did, with double the badges. He was shaking my hand proudly. I cracked another smile at that.

In his other hand, he held a copy of the prophet which headlines; MURDERER AUBLEUS GREENGRASS CAUGHT AT HANDS OF YOUNG AUROR.

I had caught Aubleus. My heart soared again. I wanted this to be real, desperately. This mirror was reaching into the deepest recesses of my heart and displaying them for me.

I let my eyes drift slowly to the person on my other side and blinked quickly. He had his arm around my waist. When I had thought this was my mother, I had expected that man to be my father. Now that I knew it was me, I felt a twinge of nerves and embarrassment course through me. My cheeks turned pink at the idea of Gideon's face being there. Maybe I'd get lucky and it would be a blurred face like Marlene's.

I slowly forced myself to look at the man there, dressed also in auror robes and similarly aged to my reflection. He was good-looking, with sharp cheekbones, and pronounced grey eyes. A thin mustache and shadow of dark facial hair drew attention to his full, pink lips. His dark hair was tied up, but I could still tell it was curly and fell to his shoulder at least. His arm didn't move from my waist.

It was _Sirius._

Aged slightly and looking happier than I had seen him in days, but Sirius Black nonetheless. He kept beaming down at my reflection with pride and admiration. His arm wrapped around my waist like it was permanently _fused_ there.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My deepest desire was to have Sirius in my life in adulthood? How could this be possible? I wasn't even speaking to him right now, let alone being friendly. And the placement of his arm in the reflection seemed to be telling its _own_ story.

I had to forcibly remind myself that this mirror _didn't_ show the future. It only showed us what we wanted. Not that that was much better.

I narrowed my eyes at the reflection, suddenly very irritated with my subconscious, and the mirror by extension. Would it have been that difficult to have just shown me _alone?_ Clearly, I needed to have my head shrunk. Or I was running a fever. Maybe I was hallucinating that part of the reflection.

"What are you seeing now?" Marlene asked curiously, watching the change in my reflection.

"Nothing interesting," I said, still glaring at reflection-Sirius.

"Okay, whatever you say."

This reflection was making less sense to me the longer I looked at it. Sure, I missed Sirius a little, and had things I wanted to tell him, but that didn't matter. I had to ignore that. He had betrayed my trust. I had reason to be angry with him. Even if I _had_ wanted to end our fight, he was acting so testy and infantile I refused to give him the satisfaction.

I focused instead on the other part of the mirror. Me, as an auror. Me with Moody. _Not_ me looking at Sirius Black like he was Godric Gryffindor himself.

It was then, looking at the reflection of myself, with a mentor, a career, and someone I cared for that I realized exactly what it was that I wanted; _a future._

I understood it in some sick, twisted sort of way. Becoming an orphan at eleven had taught me that life was short and quick. It could all be taken away in a moment. My family, the people who were supposed to help me build my future, had been cruelly ripped away from me, shattering that dream. It made sense that the thing I wanted more than anything else, was the chance to have a future of my own.

Any hostility I had towards the mirror or what it showed me, dissolved instantly. What I was seeing, was comforting. I supposed it was a nice idea, even if the sight of aged Sirius made my chest tighten uncomfortably. I gave the scene before me one last fleeting look, and a smile to match before I turned away from it.

"All yours, Mary."

Mary, who had waited patiently for all three of us to look into the mirror, had practically skipped over to the gilded mirror, beaming at it like it was the most exciting thing she had ever done.

"Exhilarating, huh?" Lily asked, as I stood beside her. She still looked flushed, her cheeks pink and happy. Marlene was staring off into the corner, still clearly thinking about what she had seen.

I nodded eagerly at Lily, my heart and head still racing in equal measure. "It was fantastic, Lily," I told her firmly. "Probably the best idea you've ever had. Thank you."

Lily gave a noncommittal shake of her head, still smiling. You don't have to thank me. It was just a suggestion. I suppose you could thank James. But who really _wants_ to ever thank Potter? He always manages to turn it into a hour long affair…"

"Are you implying that James Potter can't gracefully take a compliment?" I asked in false horror. "How dare you, Lily? That's blasphemous!"

Lily snorted before she could stop herself. "Forgive me. I don't know _what_ I was thinking."

"So, help me, Mary. If you see Landon in there, I do not want to hear about it!" Marlene called to her from the corner, looking horrified at the thought.  
Mary grinned mischievously into the mirror. "So, I'm not supposed to tell you that he's naked and making me a cup of tea?"

Lily and I both burst into laughter as Marlene turned three shades of green, and proceeded to pretend to vomit in the corner of the room.

"I hate you, Mary."

"I love you too, Marlene."

Mary turned back to the mirror, engrossed once again in her own reflection, as Lily shook her head. After a moment, Mary let out a shriek of surprise, her dark eyes lighting up at what the Mirror was showing her. She tore herself away from it long enough to look at each of us for a second, shouting "Blimey! I think the war's over! Yes, it is. I can see it on the prophet. It says Dumbledore defeated You-Know-Who!"

She had turned back to the mirror immediately, a smile crossing her face as she continued to stare.

I couldn't stop myself from thinking about what I had seen as we waited for Mary to finish. The idea was too addictive. It was exactly what I wanted. Even when it came to Sirius I supposed. As angry as I was with him, I did miss him a lot. I wanted this fight to be over. The moment he started acting like an adult again, I would talk to him about it. I liked the idea of someday having a future that Sirius was a part of. One way or another.

"Lily?" I called quietly. She was watching Mary with a soft smile and turned to face me quickly. "Yeah?"

I shifted on my heels. "Do you think that what we saw in that Mirror could really happen?" I asked her quietly, feeling an intense amount of hope at the idea. "I know it doesn't necessarily show the future, but it's possible, isn't it?"

Lily chewed on her bottom lip for a moment as she pondered the thought. She was weighing it back and forth, her head turning as she mulled it over.

"I don't see why not," she said after a minute. "I know some people see things that could never happen, like seeing dead loved ones. But if it _is_ possible, then it could always happen. I mean, if you want something bad enough, you can usually make it happen."

She stopped for a moment, her eyes sparkling at an idea, and then turned back to me.

"Why?" she asked comfortingly. "Are you worried about becoming an auror?"

I immediately felt a blush cut across my cheeks. I had been thinking more along the lines of the Sirius issue, but didn't know if I wanted to tell Lily that. Becoming an Auror seemed a hundred times easier than sorting out all of the issues I had with Sirius.

"Or is it _other_ things?" Lily asked with a raised red, eyebrow. From the expression on her face, it looked like she knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Yeah," I said nodding my head nervously. " _Other_ things."

"Well," Lily said turning back to face Mary. "Can I just say that if you ever did want to resolve the situation with the _other thing_ , I think he'd be more than willing. He's been downright irritating since everything between you went sour."

. I had no idea how Lily knew it had been Sirius I was talking about, but she seemed absolutely sure. She always had had an uncanny ability to always know what was going on with me. She sometimes knew me better than I did.

"Maybe," I sighed. The situation seemed more complicated every time I thought about it. I wasn't any closer to a solution now then I had been when it first happened.

Lily squeezed my shoulder comfortingly. "Either way, it'll all work out, you know. And if it doesn't, you always have the three of us."

I flashed her an honest smile. "Yeah, I know. I wouldn't be able to get through each day if I didn't."

Across the room, Mary had just torn herself away from the Mirror, looking extremely pleased. She had spent the longest out of all of us, looking at the reflection, but no one minded. We all knew how intoxicating and satisfying it was.

"Finally tore yourself away, did you?" Marlene joked, lifting herself from her crouched position on the floor.

Mary grinned at her. "Yes, I am. I figured why keep staring at your naked brother in the mirror when I can go and see the real thing?"

"EW!"

Lily and I had to duck out of the way as Marlene lobbed her wand at a chuckling Mary. It missed her by inches and sent gold sparks shooting across the room when it hit the stone floor. Mary smiled at it triumphantly, obviously pleased with herself as Marlene elbowed her in the ribs.

Lily shook her head at our dorm mates, but could scarcely hide her smile. "Come on, let's get out of here, before Filch shows up."

* * *

What we had seen in the Mirror of Erised had elated all four of us so much that we were in a considerably better mood for the next few days than most of the other fifth years.

Lily had even been cordial when she returned James' invisibility cloak to him the following morning. And to her credit, didn't hex James when he asked if she had seen _his_ face in the Mirror.

The joy from the Mirror had served as a nice distraction from our exams, but the moment we were back in classes it was impossible to forget that the exams were coming. On our Friday morning Transfiguration lesson, Professor McGonagall had explained exactly how our exams would go. They would take place over the next two weeks, with theory portions in the morning and the practical's in the afternoon. That, seemed to ease some of Odie Macmillan's stress, but had reduced poor Pandora Rabnott to tears.

Our first exam was Charms and set to take place bright and early on Monday morning. I didn't mind starting with Charms. I liked charms and was pretty decent at it, but for others like Marlene who always regarded the lessons as a perfect place to chit chat, it was foreboding.

We spent most of the weekend curled up in the Common Room, pouring over five years of notes and textbooks. Marlene was skipping meals to cram in more library time, and Mary had been shut up in Landon's dormitory forcing him to quiz her with flashcards.

Lily and I had joined forces with Remus, commandeering an entire corner of the Common Room to study.

Remus ended up being a great study partner. He was a great listener and would review whatever you needed too. The two of us often studied one on one when Lily would leave to review with Severus in the library. Something Marlene gritted her teeth over.

What we had heard in the Hallway the other night seemed to have been resolved in Lily's mind. She had gone and found Severus bright and early the next day, and had come back a few hours later after in a perfectly fine mood, making me wonder what kind of lies he had fed her.

As hesitant as I was to believe that Rabastan was telling the truth, it seemed more than likely that he was. Severus had always been strange, but this had moved past strange. He seemed dangerous now. Especially if he was lying to Lily.

There wasn't a doubt in my mind that Severus Snape was aligning himself with Death Eaters, and as much as I wanted to discuss with Lily, I decided to keep my mouth shut until after exams. Lily was stressed enough without worrying about the morality of her childhood friends.

James, Sirius and Peter had tried to join us in studying several times over the weekend but left every time when Lily threatened to turn Peter into a pocket watch. I was glad for that. The Marauders, apart from Remus, tended to be a bit distracting in general, but Sirius especially. Ever since I had seen his face in the mirror, I didn't know how to behave around him. I wasn't as angry as I had been before, but I certainly wasn't ready to forgive him wither. It left me confused and conflicted, and I didn't have time to be either. I needed to focus on my O.W.L.s.

The Gryffindors weren't the only ones who were completely engrossed in their studying. It didn't seem to matter where you went in the castle during the weekend, every five feet there was a cluster of fifth years sobbing into a textbook or desperately trying to levitate a galleon.

Every conversation seemed to be composed of people silently whispering the twelve uses of Dragon's blood or embarking on the impossible task of keeping Goblin names straight.

By the time Sunday night rolled around, there wasn't a single fifth year who looked calm or rested. The tables in the Great Hall were littered with open textbooks and quills. The sixth and fourth years looked sorry for the rest of the rest of us, and the Seventh years were just as stressed. Carmichael McKinnon kept sighing into a copy of Advanced Runes Translation.

"You'll make it through fine. The exams always seem harder than they are," Hestia assured Lily, who was attempting to eat without tearing her eyes away from the Transfiguration textbook in front of her.

"Don't lie to her, Hest, they were absolutely brutal," Otto said shaking his head as he took a sip of Pumpkin Juice. He looked physically pained as he watched Caradoc Dearborn throw a leaflet of notes away in irritation.

"Especially that History of Magic one," Fabian added seriously, looking white at the memory. "Nearly killed me that one did. I only finished about half the questions."

Fabian was sporting a fresh black eye from Quidditch practice the day before and still looked more apprehensive at the idea of exams. I suppose given the choice, I'd rather dodge a bludger than sit through my Herbology exam.

Marlene let out a loud groan and let her head fall onto the open book in front of her, utterly exasperated, and began to sob.

"The Potions one was the hardest," Krysten said, as she applied a fresh coat of lipstick to her mouth, she only seemed to be half-listening to the conversation. "Dropped that class the moment I was able too."

"No way," Nora said beside her. "Potions was easy compared to Charms." She shuddered visibly.

Beside her, Gideon shook his head. "Transfiguration was hand's down the hardest of the bunch."

"I thought Divination was terrible myself," Landon said, joining the table with Mary at his side. She was buried so deeply in a copy of notes that he had to physically help her onto the bench.

"You lot are _not_ helping, you know," I pointed out, looking up from my defense notes. "You're going to reduce Marlene to hysterics."

Marlene hadn't remerged from her dry sobbing. Her face was resting in her book, only a mass of bright, yellow hair was visible. Lily pat her head over my shoulder.

"Like _you_ have anything to worry about," Gideon said, cracking a smile in my direction. "I saw you last week. You knew everything already. You're perfect, Doe."

Beside him, both Nora and Fabian looked up with interest, and Otto raised an eyebrow, as my cheeks turned slightly pink.

It had been quite the compliment. I knew he had been referring to my knowledge about the classes, but the way he had said it sounded like he meant a little more than that.

Across the table, I thought I might have seen Sirius look up from whatever piece of parchment was holding the Marauders attention.

"We'll see if you still feel that way after I fail all of my exams," I joked, offering him a smile and then immediately looking back down at my notes.

"If anyone is failing here, it's me," Marlene said miserably, finally rejoining the conversation. "I bet even Reginald Cattermole does better than me."

She shot a look at the Hufflepuff table, where Reggie was sat alone, pointing his wand at the goblet in front of him. In seconds, he had managed to set fire to it.

"I _highly_ doubt that," Otto chuckled across the table, watching as Charity Burbage dumped half a flagon of Pumpkin Juice on the goblet to keep it from setting their house table aflame. "That blokes a real duffer."

"Yeah, well. So am I, apparently."

"You are not a duffer, Marlene," Caradoc said firmly from two seats away. He had clearly been eavesdropping, as he always did when it concerned Marlene. Marlene cast one odd look at him and then turned back to the rest of us, as if he had never spoken at all.

"Don't worry sister," Landon said clapping Marlene on the back. "If you fail, you can always marry rich."

Marlene's eyes narrowed at him. "If you say that one more time I am going to bury my wand up so far up your- "

"I beg of you, _please_ don't finish that sentence," Lily implored softly, looking up from the top of her book.

Marlene opened her mouth to say something cheeky when her amber eyes went wide as an owl's. She let out a shriek that caused half the table to look up in earnest.

"Look!" She screeched pointing at the doors to the Great Hall.

Four aged witches and wizards had sauntered into the Hall, shedding off tremendous coats. Each of them were wearing thick velvet purple robes with matching flat circular hats. They looked to be at least a hundred years old, though they did seem rather spry for their ages.

"Are those the examiners?" Lily asked nervously, clutching her wand for support.

Gideon nodded. "Yeah I recognize them from last year. That one with the silver ponytail's name is Tofty. He ran my defense practical."

The one named Tofty, was now engaging in a tight, very friendly hug with Professor Marchbanks, who had left the high table with Dumbledore to greet them.

"Make sense that Professor Marchbanks knows them," I said watching as Professor Dumbledore conjured four additional chairs in the front of the room for them. "She used to be an examiner too, didn't she?"

"She was mine for Charms," Hestia said shaking her head. "And she's a tough old bird, let me tell you. Flat out told me I'd better hope for Quidditch fame with my shoddy wand-work."

"She actually _said_ that?" Lily asked, her eyes wide with disbelief. Hestia nodded.

"I'm doomed," Marlene whined again.

"To be fair Hestia, you're dead awful at Charms," Landon reminded her. She narrowed her eyes at him with such venom it made Otto look green.

"Good on a broom though!" Landon added encouragingly, making her eyes soften again.

" _Great_ , actually," I assured her. Hestia smiled and took a large bite of carrots, looking haughty as she did.

As the examiners took their seats and began to eat, the conversation drifted away from exams and moved onto Quidditch. A topic I normally loved discussing but found myself too worried to get deeply into.

By the time the next morning rolled around, there was a palpable tension in the Great Hall. Our Exams began right after breakfast, and the Hall was a buzz with people nervously discussing the exams or quizzing one another last minute.

"Make sure you eat something with protein," Lily reminded us, scooping hearty amounts of eggs and sausage on our plates. "Brain food."

Mary frowned as she bit into a kipper. "At this point, I sincerely doubt a kipper is going to save me, Lils."

"Well try anyway."

I closed the open Charms book in front of me and took a big bite of eggs. "That's it. I'm officially done studying for this. I either know it or I don't."

"You _do_ know it," Lily reminded me. "We are all going to be fine."

"Say that again, slowly," Marlene said, downing her entire glass of pumpkin juice. I'd never seen her look so stressed before. Her right leg was bouncing up and down with nerves.

When breakfast finally ended, McGonagall ushered all of the fifth years into the entrance hall to wait and disappeared into the Great Hall with the examiners.

Lily, Marlene, Mary and I sat cross-legged on the floor, our heads leaning back against the stone wall trying not to worry about what we were going to do.

The Marauders were standing on the other end of the corridor where they had assembled a crowd of people. It seemed James had transfigured Peter's book bag into a swan, and the other fifth years were watching it run around and caw, grateful for the distraction. My friends and I had no interest in joining in. It would mean close proximity to James, which Lily didn't want, and Sirius, which made _me_ anxious. So, we opted to sit as far away as possible. Thankfully, Marlene seemed to be too nervous to complain about this.

"The worst thing that happens is we fail and have to take them, again right?" Mary asked quietly.

She looked like she was trying to be optimistic, but it didn't reach her eyes. "That's not so bad, right?"

Lily gave a grave nod. "You have to repeat the year, though."

"Be a fifth year again?" Marlene asked, floored. "I'd rather die. I think I'd just drop out and move to America or something."

"What would _you_ do in America?" I asked, chuckling at the ridiculousness of the idea. "Go to Ilvermony?"

I didn't know much about the wizarding school in North America. Any foreign wizards our age I had ever met had come from Beauxbatons or Durmstrang.

"Ilvermony? _Please_." Marlene shook her head confidently. "There's no way I'd go to a _different_ school. I'd be an actress. All the muggleborns in my muggle studies class are always going on and on about them. They're all incredibly beautiful, of course."

Lily and Mary had both been overcome with a fit of giggles as Marlene detailed her plans for a life in Hollywood, and accidently called movies, _smoothies._

"I suppose she could always be in _Bewitched,_ " Mary said with a laugh and Lily responded with a hearty chuckle. "Good one, Mary. That's funny."

Marlene turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "What in the Merlin's name are they going on about? What's _Bewitched_?"

Marlene often turned to me for information on Muggle things. I knew some of them from the orphanage and my dad before that, but I didn't know everything. And I had no idea what this Bewitched was.

"No idea, Marls," I said shrugging.

Whatever it was, it had delighted both Lily and Mary, and it took another minute before they had stopped laughing long enough to rejoin the conversation.

"Not to crush your plan, Marlene, but do you know the first thing about how muggles make movies?" Lily asked with a giggle.

"I know enough," Marlene said half-heartedly.

"Do you know what a VHS is?" I asked, unable to stop chuckling at the idea of Marlene surrounded my muggle technology.

I'd once seen her become absolutely astounded at one of Lily's desk lamps, flipping the switch over and over until the poor thing short-circuited.

Marlene blinked at me. "Please stop trying to ruin my back-up plan, Meadowes. It's all I've got."

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry. If you do fail all your exams, which you won't, but if you do, I'll teach you what I know about muggle movies okay?"

"Deal."

No one had time to say anything else. Our happy conversation had distracted us all it was capable of doing, and now it was time to the take the exam. The doors to the Great Hall had opened and Professor McGonagall was now ushering us all into the room. The nervous flutters had returned, and everyone had taken to saying a few final words of good luck as we headed inside.

The Great Hall had been transformed before our eyes. Instead of the usual four long house tables, now sat a hundred tiny single desks, arraigned in four long rows. McGonagall ushered each of us into an empty desk and when everyone was seated she took to the front of the room.

"Now, I know you are all nervous, but you needn't be," she said firmly, readjusting her glasses. "I have my every confidence that you will all do fine. You have two hours."

At her words, a large clock in the front of the room clicked loudly and begun to move. She flicked her wand quickly and a hundred rolled up scrolls, quills and ink levitated down the rows in front of us.

The moment my scroll landed in front of my I opened it and found a hundred and fifty evenly printed questions;

1) What is the charm used to light your wand?

2) What charm would you use to make your quill slow dance?

3) What charm is used to make something explode?

I took a deep breath, relieved that I knew the first few answers and started to scribble away. Time passed quickly, and by the time the two hours were up, I had checked my answers twice, satisfied that I passed this exam.

Professor McGonagall had summoned the exams the moment the clock ran out and there were cries of protest as she did. Della Templeton looked like she was going to run after hers but took to nervously hiccupping instead. It took nearly ten minutes to make sure all of the exams were accounted for, and then the group of us were ushered back out into the Entrance Hall to wait for the practical's.

"That wasn't nearly as bad as I expected," Lily said as we left the room. "Did you remember the charm to make a cantaloupe dance? I had _no_ idea."

"It's _groovium fruits_ ," I told her quickly. "Not that I can ever think of a single occasion that we need to use _that_."

"Please, let's not talk about it, okay?" Marlene said, curling up in a ball against the stone wall. She looked drained, and the rest of us followed suit waiting for them to call our names.

It went in alphabetical order. The first person called was Jonas Avery, and it was entertaining to his normally smug face look a little nervous as he entered the room with Damocles Belby and Narcissa Black following suit.

No one who was called reappeared, and that seemed to make everyone else very nervous. I noticed that even Sirius looked a little white when his name was called after his cousins. Lily, Mary and Marlene were all called before me, so I sat quietly on the ground by myself, trying not to let myself get worked up as waited.

"You look nervous," James said plopping down beside me on the stone floor. I had been staring

off into space and hadn't noticed him approaching. Peter was, as usual, following him around like a pet.

"That might have something to do with the fact that I _am_ nervous," I told him evenly.

Of all the people, I wanted to talk to right now, James Potter wasn't very high up on the list. I had been content to just sit here in silence.

"I'd say that would do it," James chuckled, "Not that you _should_ be. You tutor people in Charms for Merlin's sake. Sirius would probably be failing right now if you hadn't drilled half the textbook into his head."

I felt my cheeks get hot in anger at the mention of Sirius and James seemed to notice. His eyes moved quickly and then he nodded. "Ah, right. I forgot that's a _sore_ subject for you."

He seemed slightly amused. Like he knew something that I didn't.

I turned and raised one of my eyebrows. "It's not a sore subject for _me_ ," I told him sternly, "I'm not the one acting like a petulant child about it."

James sighed and Peter watched with interest, snacking on a cauldron cake.

I didn't like what James was suggesting. I hadn't done anything to Sirius. I was the one who had been betrayed. I had reason to be mad. I was being mature about this whole thing. I wasn't stomping around the castle throwing _him_ dirty looks or making out with half the house in front of _him._

James looked at me and cracked a wide grin. "No, you just walk out of the room every time he's enters it." He shook his head like he was exasperated.

"I don't walk out _every_ time…" I told him crossing my arms. I hated discussing this with him. I felt outnumbered.

James grinned. "Nine times out of ten, Meadowes. We keep track. In a cute little journal with your name on it."

Peter burst out into a fit of giggling at his words that made James grin wider. I rolled my eyes so hard they felt like they were going to roll out of my head.

"Oh, shut it, James."

James smiled. "All I'm saying is you're _both_ being stupid. I think you should just get over it and make up. Make it easier on the rest of us."

I narrowed my eyes at him. He had some nerve. I always knew he would say some outrageous things to Lily, but I had thought she was just a weakness for him. I hadn't realized it was a personality trait of his.

"I think _you_ should skive off."

James smiled and shook his head. "I'm only trying to help, Meadowes. Someday you'll _thank_ me."

"You can help me by butting out of my personal life, James."

On the tail of what I had seen in the mirror the other night, James words felt like they were ringing inside of my skull. How was it that Sirius managed to be a constant irritation, even when he wasn't around?

"Ah. Now I see why you and Lily are such good friends," James chuckled softly. "You sounded just like her there."

"You know what they say," I told him, "birds of a feather get irritated by James Potter together."

James loud enthusiastic laughter richoeted across the hall, while Peter stared at me with a wide-mouthed smile.

The door to the Entrance Hall opened again and Professor McGonagall looked down at her scroll of names. " _Meadowes, Dorcas_ \- _Montague, Sylvia_ – _Mulciber, Sebastian_."

I got up from my cozy spot on the floor and quietly followed Sylvia and Sebastian into the Great Hall, ignoring the flash of unpleasantness I felt at hearing my given name. The Examiners were all gathered around, and Professor McGonagall ushered me over to a long black-haired witch with a kind smile.

"Ms. Meadowes, this is Professor Tallywog. She will be your examiner for the Charms practical. Good luck," Professor McGonagall said and gave me an encouraging push forward.

Professor Tallywog gave me a wide, toothy smile. "Nice to meet you, Ms. Meadowes."

Ignoring the pit of nerves in my stomach I reached out to shake her hand. "You as well, thank you."

"Meadowes was it?" Professor Tallywog asked again. "I may have examined your father once upon a time ago. Great at Herbology, he was. Hope you inherited that. Not that that'll help you much with Charms, now will it?" She chuckled and I felt my stomach tighten further. The last thing I wanted to think about right now was my father.

"I don't think so," I told her with a smile, silent thanking Merlin that she wasn't my Herbology examiner. She would be highly disappointed if she saw me anywhere near a plant.

Professor Tallywog smiled again, "Okay Dorcas, now if you could just summon that tea cup for me and then give it legs?"

I knew exactly how to do that. Feeling light with relief, I offered her a wide smile and raised my wand, " _Accio Teacup!"_

* * *

The rest of the exams were just as stressful and nerve-wracking as Charms had been. We had had Herbology next, the exam I had been dreading the most. The theory exam had gone fine. I had never had a problem with that, but by the time I got to the practical I was so nervous I knocked over Mulciber and an entire table of potted Honking Daffodils, stalling the exam for five minutes while the examiners mended the pots and vanished the dirt. When it did get back on track, I was still mortified. I managed to repot my mandrake well enough, but did have an unfortunate incident where it grabbed hold of my wand and tried to blast the glass out of one of the windows. I was only glad Professor Sprout hadn't been there to see it.

Potions was next and went fine enough. The theory wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and my shrinking solution turned out around the right color in the practical, so I was pleased. Marlene wasn't so lucky. She left the room with her hair three times as large as normal and white as a ghost. She wouldn't even talk about what had happened in the room. As expected, Lily left both the theory and practical glowing with excitement. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that she had just earned an Outstanding O.W.L.

The rest of the exams went well enough too. Care of Magical Creatures was a breeze thanks to Gideon's help. And Marlene had remerged from Muggle Studies thrilled that toasters _had_ been on the exam, and she had known what they were. Mary and Lily had assured us both that they're Ancient Runes exam had gone well too. History of Magic went as expected. It was difficult keeping all of the goblins names straight, but I thought I got most of the dates right. The hardest part of Astronomy was trying to stay up to midnight during the actual exam. Amelia had yawned throughout the entire thing to the point where Madam Pompfrey had brought her a strong brewed cup of coffee.

Marlene and I delighted in the divination exam, using the crystal balls to predict our own gruesome yet exciting lives that had our examiners clapping excitedly.

After a week and a half of exams, we were all getting very exhausted. We only had two left. Defense and Transfiguration.

The exam I was most looking forward to was Defense Against the Dark Arts. This was the exam I needed to do the best on if I was going to make it as an auror. I was actually excited about it. The order was switched for this one to accomplish an Arithmancy exam that had run long and so we had done out practical's first. I was thrilled when Professor Tofty asked me to perform a shield charm, and three minutes later clapped happily telling me that the curse he used should have knocked me out three times over. By the time we got to the theory portion, I felt ready.

Flitwick was in charge of proctoring the defense exam and sat happily in front of the room as we tore into it.

I grinned as I read the first few questions;

1) How does one conjure a shield charm and when should they be used?

2) How and under what circumstances would you disarm someone?

3) How do you use the redactor curse and what does it achieve?

I began scribbling quickly and soon became completely absorbed in the exam. I had just finished the answer to my last question when Professor Flitwick squeaked "Five more minutes!"

It made my jump slightly. Professor Flitwick's tiny body was bobbing through the desks. He offered me a comforting smile when he passed and kept moving.

Confident with my answers, I let myself look around the room. Mary was finished too, staring off out the sun-stroked window to her left. Lily was reading over her answers, flipping through the scrolls casually. She looked calm enough, chewing on the end of her quill as did. Marlene was sat in front of me and kept sighing as she scratched things out with furiously.

I let my gaze drift past them. Snape was only a few seats past me, and he was still completely absorbed in the exam. His hand scribbled incredibly fast against the page, his nose pressed against the scroll as he did. I felt an immediate upsurge of dislike as I looked at him. It didn't matter how much time had passed, I still couldn't shake what I had heard Rabastan say about him. Either Snape had been lying to Rabastan in order to impress him, or he really was going to join the cause. Neither reflected well on him.

Tired of thinking about Snape's allegiance, I looked past him. Remus was still rereading his answers, scratching his chin with his quill and Peter was shuffling anxious in his seat.

James was already finished, doodling on a spare bit of paper mindlessly. Behind him was Sirius. He was leaning back in his chair, looking haughty and bored. Imogen Warbeck was sitting behind him, eyeing him hopefully, but he didn't seem to have noticed.

He looked more tired than he usually did. He was staring off into ahead of him. He turned mindlessly in my direction and noticed me watching him. For a second the corners of his mouth turned upward into a smile and then he immediately stopped, as if remembering he didn't want to smile at _me._

It was strange how quickly his expression changed. His brows furrowed and his lips pursed as he shook his head in annoyance. I sighed not even remotely in the mood to deal Sirius or his tantrums. He was acting like _I_ had done something wrong. _What. An. Idiot._

"Quills down, please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment. _Accio!"_

More than a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laughed, James and Sirius among them. In the front row, Amelia and Amos got up and hoisted Professor Flitwick back up by his elbows.

"Thank you….thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

The moment he said these words, everyone moved to the door. Clustering in an attempt to get out of the room and breathe freely.

"I have never been so glad to be done with an exam," Marlene sighed happily, approaching my table, her bag already slung over her shoulder. "I honestly could not have answered half of that if I had the textbook open in front of me."

"Don't worry, Marlene. You did fantastic on the practical," I reminded her. "Your body bind jinx is the strongest I've ever seen."

Marlene beamed. "I did do great, didn't I?"

"Brilliant," I assured her, as she threw an arm over my shoulder. We met Mary and Lily at the door, shoved between Snape and the Marauders.

"It's beautiful outside today," Mary said happily. "Can we go sit out on the grounds? I promise we can study there too."

"I'd love to go to the grounds and _not_ study," Marlene added enthusiastically.

Lily snorted and offered her a smile. "Were almost done, Marlene. This is the home stretch."

"I can even read the notes to you, if you'd like," I offered. Marlene sighed and nodded "Fine, but I'm not quizzing _any_ of you…"

Out on the grounds, the weather was particularly fantastic. It was the first warm, sunny day we had had in months, and made it feel like summer already.

It seemed most of the year had the same idea as we did. The grass was littered with fifth, sixth and seventh years all sprawled out enjoying the sunshine.

"Ooh! The lake!" Mary said excitedly. "Let's go cool our feet."

"What about the squid?" Marlene asked hesitantly, the look on her face suggested she wasn't quite over the time we had wrestled the giant leeches out of the lake.

Lily shook her head. "Oh Marlene, the squid won't bother us any. Look he's enjoying the sun too!"

In the distance, we could all the see the giant squid sitting on the surface of the water, it's face turned up towards the sun.

The four of us made our way to the edge of the lake and took off our socks and shoes, letting our bare feet rest in the cool water.

"Now _this_ is lovely," I said, leaning back and sunning my face.

"I could get used to this," Marlene agreed, splashing her feet at Lily, who was somehow already absorbed in her Transfiguration book.

"I'm only going to read one more chapter, I promise," Lily said, not looking up from it.

"Right, and I'm a hippogriff," Mary chuckled softly. Lily flashed her a soft smile.

I left my head lean back and look across the grounds. It seemed the entire year was out today, even the Slytherins.

A large group of Hufflepuffs were sitting on a patchwork quilt on the hill. Amelia waved to me quickly, before turning back to her friends, Charity and Gwenog. A cluster of Ravenclaw boys were all immersed in Transfiguration textbooks under a tree, only a few feet away from where the Marauders were sitting.

"This feels like when I'm at my Grans house in the south of France," Marlene purred. "It's all sand and sea there. I never want to leave. It makes me yearn for summer."

Mary nodded eagerly. "I love the South of France. Mum and Dad took Julie and I last year. It was gorgeous."

"Are you still going to Germany this summer?" Marlene asked her casually. Mary gave a triumphant nod.

"To visit my Aunt Shirley. I'm so excited about it actually…"

I felt my eyes glaze over as Marlene and Mary excitedly discussed their upcoming summer vacations. The closer it got to the end of the year, the more dread I started to feel. It wasn't that I hated the orphanage really, but in comparison to Hogwarts, it always felt drab and lonely. There was something really awful about spending several months at a time with no family, friends or magic. It wasn't all the orphanage's fault. When I was at school, it was harder to miss my parents. The orphanage was a constant daily reminder that they were gone

Lily looked up from her book and met my face. She gave me a soft smile, like she had known exactly how this conversation would make me feel.

"You know, I had mum write to Dumbledore again," she said quickly, closing the book in her lap. "About staying with us over the summer. She's waiting on a response."

I felt a quick upsurge of hope. Staying at Lily's was always the best part of my summers, even if it only was for a few weeks.

"Really?" I asked excitedly.

"Of course. It wouldn't be summer without you."

I couldn't hide how wide my smile was. "Petunia will be _thrilled_ ," I said excitedly.

Lily's sister's dislike for me was clear and well-documented. Making her constantly uncomfortable was one Lily and I's favorite summer hobbies. All we had to do was leave a wand on the table and watch her shriek with anger and horror.

Lily grinned mischievously. "That's just a fringe benefit."

 _"_ _Expelliarmus!"_

The sound of someone loudly casting a spell made all four of us turn around quickly.

"Who was that?" Mary asked.

 _"_ _Impedimenta!"_

Several of the students on the grounds were on there feet now, watching whatever was going on by one of the oaks trees. The one where the Marauders had been sitting only moments ago.

"Who could be _stupid_ enough to be dueling now?" Lily asked in exasperation. "The weather's too beautiful to have anything to fight about it."

The crowd parted and our question was answered. The Marauders were all on their feet, wands drawn and standing across from Snape. The latter was clearly in trouble. Panting on the ground, several feet away from his own wand. James and Sirius both advanced on him with their own wands drawn. As much as I disliked him, four on one felt incredibly unfair. Even if Peter and Lupin were only watching. James looked back over his shoulder towards us and then immediately turned back to Snape.

"For Merlin's sake!" Lily hissed, her face turning purple as she roughly shoved her shoes back on her feet.

"Uh oh," Marlene said quietly, knowing exactly where this was going. The rest of us dragged our feet from the lake, gathering our things.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James loudly.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There will be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Peter sniggered loudly and several people surrounding them laughed. The Hufflepuffs in particular. It was a testament to how much Snape was disliked. The Hufflepuffs usually stayed out of this sort of thing. I could hear Lily huffing angrily as she shoved her other shoe on. I knew the look on her face. She was going to end this herself.

Snape was still trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling as though bound by invisible ropes.

Lily was on her feet now and charging up the hill towards the five of them. It looked like steam was about to start pouring out of her ears.

Marlene, Mary and I tore down the grass after her, knowing that if she was about to interrupt a Snape v. Marauder fight, she might need some help.

"You- wait," Snape panted, staring up at James with hatred. "You-wait…."

"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Snape let out a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes but his wand being ten feet away nothing happened.

"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly. " _Scourigfy!_ "

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him-

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted loudly.

She had just reached the five of them. Mary and I immediately went to follow her, but Marlene outstretched her arms, stopping us and shaking her head.

"She needs to sort this out for herself," she whispered quietly.

James and Sirius both looked around, and Jame's free hand flew to his hair again.

"All right, Evans?" said James, and the tone of his voice suddenly changed. It became deeper, and more charming, the way it always did when Lily was around.

I caught Sirius' eye for half a second, and he grinned harder. He was proud of himself.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated to James. She was looking at him with more fury and dislike than usual. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean….."

Many of the surrounding students watched, Sirius and Peter included, but Remus was still focused on his book. He was purposefully avoiding looking up from it. He looked guilty.

"You think you're funny," Lily said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone."_

"Point Lily," Marlene whispered happily under her breath. It seemed like she might be enjoying this a little bit, the way she always did the Marauder's antics. I looked quickly to Mary. She looked exactly as anxious as I felt.

"I will if you go out with me, Evans" said James quickly. "Go on….Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

I scowled. James really did know exactly how to get under Lily's skin. I could feel her anger from here.

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soap buds as he crawled.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, turning back to Snape. "OY!"

But it was too late, Snape had directed his wand straight at James, there was a flash of light and a

gash appeared on James' cheek, spattering his robes with blood.

All of the watchers gasped, as James spun around and a second flash of light ripped through the

air.

Snape was hanging upside down in the air. His robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

All of the watchers around us cheered, even Marlene and Mary. I felt immensely torn. Snape was vile, but this seemed unfairly cruel.

James, Sirius, and Peter were roaring with laughter. Lily, who had surprised me by looking like she was about to smile, said. "Let him down!"

"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upwards. Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he quickly got to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said " _Petrificulus Totales!"_ and Snape keeled over again, stiff as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had drawn her own wand now. James and Sirius both eyed it warily.

"Ah Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.

This made, Marlene and I draw our own wands. Like we'd really let James or Sirius get away with that.

Lily looked unphased. "Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the countercurse.

"There you go," He said as Snape struggled to his feet again, "you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

The air outside seemed to still instantly. My hand flew to my mouth and Mary let out a strange little hiss. Marlene practically growled.

Everyone looked to Lily. I half expected her to fly into a rage. But she didn't

She simply blinked. "Fine," she said cooly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

Severus looked like he had slapped her. I suppose her use of that nickname was the same to him. I couldn't feel badly for him, though. Not after what he had said to her. Snape had dug his own grave.

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared loudly at Snape, his wand pointed threatingly at him.

"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is…"

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!"

Lily looked more enraged now. "Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off a broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you, just because you can. – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with your fat head on it. You make me SICK."

It was clearly everything Lily had always wanted to say to James but had withheld. She looked vindicated, and upset all at the same time. She turned on her heels and hurried away without another word.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

Lily didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" said James, trying to look as if this question wasn't important to him.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.

"Right," said James, who looked furious now, "right-.."

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside down in the air.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

Marlene and Mary cheered. I didn't stay to find out whether or not Snape did lose his pants. I tore off towards the castle. It didn't matter to me what happened to Snape. I had to make sure Lily was okay.


	22. The Trunk Trapdoor

**Authors Note: Thank you for sticking it out with me for the long update time. I had some severe writer's block combined with a really busy schedule. The next update will be this weekend, possibly sooner, but the weekend by the latest. So Enjoy! P.S. MUCH More Sirius and Doe in the next two chapters. I can't wait to share it with you guys!**

22

The Trunk Trapdoor

I could still hear the cheering from the grounds as I pushed through the doors back into the castle. Whatever James and Sirius were doing to Snape was eliciting a joyous reaction from everyone on the grounds. Not that I cared anymore. Whatever tiny sliver of pity I had ever felt for Snape had disappeared the moment those words had left his mouth.

I still couldn't believe he had actually said it. His words kept ringing in my head over and over with disgust. As much as I disliked him, I never would have thought that Snape would ever say _anything_ that could have disrupted his friendship with Lily. I suppose it was a testament to just how much he hated the Marauders. Clearly his deep, primal loathing of James Potter was the only emotion that he felt more strongly than his love for Lily.

It made me want to kick him in the shins, or hex his hair off. But retribution to Snape couldn't be my top priority right now. He wasn't who I cared about. The only person who I was focused on was Lily, and how she must be feeling.

The corridors of the castle felt never-ending as Mary, Marlene and I jogged down them, heading for Gryffindor Tower. We had to find Lily, immediately. No matter how strong or kind, she was, there was no way that that hadn't shaken her. She needed us right now.

"I hate Snape," Mary snapped as we took the stairs three at a time. "I really _hate_ him."

"Hate isn't a strong enough word," I said coldy, thinking of the look that had been plastered across Lily's face. "Detest, maybe. Or _loathe._ "

Mary's bottom lip quivered as she gripped the railing of the stairs for support. The staircase had started to change on us, but we were too distracted to notice or care.

"How could he have said something like that to her?" Mary asked, tears welling in her eyes. "He was supposed to be her friend. Who says something that _foul_ to their friend?"

A fat tear leaked from Mary's eye and she wiped it furiously as if angry at herself for becoming emotional at all. She wasn't making eye contact with Marlene or I. I knew why. Mary hated the M word more than anyone.

"Clearly Snape doesn't know what real friendship is," I said coolly, surprised by the ferocity in my tone. "If he did, he's never have done it. That was no accident. Slurs like that don't slip from your tongue unless you regularly say them behind closed doors."

That was probably what irritated me the most, besides how Lily must be feeling. If Snape had managed to say that to his 'best friend' in front of a crowd of people, I didn't want to know what he said in the dark corners of the Slytherin Common Room. Rabastan had probably been right all along. Snape had chosen a side.

Marlene, who's normally amber eyes, were black and narrowed, let out a breathy sigh. "I don't know why either of you are surprised. This is Snape we're talking about. Something like this was bound to happen." She wore a knowing expression. "I mean, did you really think that he and Lily would be lifelong friends? When he was running around with a Death Eater mask, kneeling to You-Know-Who?"

Mary little out a breathy little gasp and clutched at the sides of her head, terrified at the image.

Marlene looked past her, to me.

"No, I didn't," I said plainly.

The thought made my blood turn cold. Lily had probably been the only thing keeping Snape from truly giving himself over to the dark side. If this went the way I thought it would, and Lily never spoke to him again, I couldn't see how Snape wouldn't flock to those promising him the power of the Dark Arts.

"You really think he's going to join then?" Mary asked nervously, chewing on the end of her nails.

"Yes," both Marlene and I answered firmly in tandem. Mary let out a defeated sigh and stared down the corridor as the staircase righted itself.

None of us said anything as we made our way to Gryffindor Tower. There was nothing _to_ say. The castle was empty here. Everyone seemed to be outside enjoying the warm weather. _And the show that the Marauders were putting on_ , I thought glumly. I couldn't help but think just how stupid this whole thing had been on their part too. Snape hadn't even been doing anything. When he was sneaking around the corridors trying out homemade spells or insulting them, I at least understood why they fought back. But I could never understand why they _sought_ him out for trouble. Didn't James know that pulling something like this would only enrage Lily further? They had actually been on decent terms this week after he had lent her the invisibility cloak. Lily had pleasant towards him. Now that had all been ruined.

The Fat Lady was in a particularly chatty mood when we got to the Common Room, but one frigid look from Marlene was all it took for her to let us in without too much small talk. Marlene could end a conversation just as easily as she could start one.

"I am not looking forward to this," Marlene sighed softly as the Fat Lady looked at her with fear.

"Remember," Mary warned as we carefully as we entered the Common Room. "We're here to be supportive. We can't rag on Snape, unless Lily wants too. She's probably going to be a wreck, and we need to help her."

"I doubt that," Marlene said nodding towards the far corner of the room.

Mary and I followed her gaze and my jaw slipped open. The common room was mostly empty, salve for a few first and second years talking in easy, quiet voices. But it was only the far corner of the room that interested us. Curled up in one of the armchairs, reading her Transfiguration textbook and looking as unconcerned as ever, was Lily. She was absorbed in the material, her eyes moving back and forth as she read the page and a yawn slipped through her mouth. She looked like she had the last four days. Like nothing had happened at all.

"She's studying?" I asked in disbelief, blinking quickly. I had expected to find her in the dormitory, sobbing into her pillow or brewing some sort of poisonous potion to slip into Snape's morning Pumpkin Juice, not acting like nothing had happened.

Marlene snorted frankly. "Of course, she is. That is _so_ Lily."

"She's probably masking how she's feeling," Mary said quickly, giving Marlene a disapproving look. "We should go talk to her. Make sure she really is all right." Marlene looked like this idea pained her.

Across the room, Lily underlined something with her quill very fiercely. Marlene let out another wistful sigh. I knew Lily well enough to know that this was a defensive mechanism. Lily was hurt. There was no way she couldn't be. Not after what Snape had done. Her attempt to put it past her was brave, but unnecessary.

"Mary's right. Come _on_ ," I said, dragging Marlene begrudgingly across the Common Room by the forearm. Marlene didn't protest but I could see the hesitation in her eyes. Marlene had always hated Snape. I knew she didn't trust herself not to say something like "I told you so." And as upset as I'm sure she was for Lily, there was no hiding her pleasure at the thought of never having to put up with him again.

"Lily?" Mary called hesitantly, as the three of us approached her. Lily looked up immediately from the textbook, her eyes darting quickly as she saw who it was in front of her. Her focused expression flickered for a moment, and her eyes became slightly watery.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said quietly, looking back down at her Transfiguration book immediately. "I already feel stupid enough."

I could see the tears welling up in her eyes again as she stared down the proper incantation to turn chairs into tables. It didn't matter how much Lily was trying to cover it up, she was in real pain. She took out her wand and waved it, casting a water repellent charm on her eyes, determined not to cry. Mary and I exchanged a quick concerned look.

"You have nothing to feel stupid for," I told Lily, curling up at the base of her chair. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Honestly," Marlene added quickly, before Lily could respond. "It was that spineless little _git_ who should be feeling stupid right now. What I wouldn't give to kick him hard in the-" Marlene stopped mid-sentence seeing the chastising look Mary had flashed her, and instead placed her hand on Lily's shoulder.

Lily's face was blank now, and her lip quivered slightly as she looked from each of us. "It doesn't matter though, does it?" she asked. "What he said. Or how rubbish it was. _I'm_ the one who was friends with him. _I_ defended him whenever anyone questioned him or his motives. And then he goes and says _that?_ " Lily's eyes suddenly became murderous. "He made me look stupid, and naïve. How could I have been so _blind?_ "

"Nobody thinks that," I assured her swiftly, shaking my head. "I guarantee you that anyone who was watching what happened knows that what Snape did was vile."

"Anyone whose met him, actually," Marlene grimaced from the couch. Her eyes still furious at the memory. Lily looked unconvinced.

"To think I spent five years of my life being his defender," she said crossing her arms angrily. "And for what? So, he could insult me behind my back? Whisper lies in my ear while he ran around plotting with his little Death Eater friends?" She let out a breathy growl. "What an _idiot_ I was, thinking that he was so misunderstood. Well no more! I won't waste another single, solitary minute trying to humanize Severus Snape. He. Is. Rubbish."

"Well said," Marlene mused, plopping herself down in the couch across from her. It was clear she didn't mind that Lily was professing her new hatred for Snape. She would probably encourage it.

"I was a fool to think he was good on the inside," Lily sighed wistfully. "He played me."

"You always see the good in people, Lily," I told her. "Even if they don't deserve it. And I find that admirable. So, what if Snape didn't deserve it in the end? You're still the one who gave him the chance. If he didn't take it, that's his fault. Not yours."

Lily's soft sullen face, showed the faintest sign of a smile at my words, and then it fell quickly. " I just still can't believe it happened. One second everything was fine and then, this?"

"It was bound to happen eventually," Marlene said flatly, examining a chip in her nail polish. "James and Sirius did you a favor by making it happen sooner rather than later."

The second the words had slipped from Marlene's mouth, I knew we were in trouble. Mary seemed to sense it too, stretching her legs out in front of her with a sad, reproachful expression.

"DID ME A FAVOR?" Lily cried angrily, her voice turning shrill.

Mary's eyes fluttered softly at the high-pitched noise, and I settled in deeper to the carpet knowing this was going to be a fight. How could Marlene have been so stupid?

"Exactly what part of torturing Snape and humiliating me in front of half the year was a favor?" Lily demanded furiously, her words dripping with accusation. Her eyes were hard and her jaw was set.

Marlene raised an eyebrow at her. "You can't blame them for what Snape said, you know."

"I don't" Lily snapped quickly. "Severus said what he meant. But I can blame those two for being arrogant, bullying toe rags. I don't care how precious they are to you, Marlene. James and Sirius are just as much to blame for this as Severus is. I can't stand _any_ of them."

Lily slammed the cover of her Transfiguration book closed with a snap, still shaking with anger. Marlene opened her mouth to respond and I pinched her in the arm quickly, giving her a tense stare.

"Ow," Marlene complained, frowning at me. I shook my head vehemently as she blinked. Lily was upset. She had just lost one of her closest friends in a very public, and humiliating way. If she wanted to blame James and Sirius for it, she was allowed to.

Marlene seemed to sense this and sighed. "I'm sorry Lily, I didn't mean to upset you," she said quickly, looking more at Mary and I then at Lily.

Lily was wiping at her eyes, forcing back tears that looked more angry than sad. "It's okay," she said quietly, dragging the sleeve of her sweater across her eyes. "I'm sorry I got so angry. It's not your fault. It's just been a hard day, and I don't know quite how to feel."

Marlene's face softened for a moment and then she reached over and pulled Lily into a tight hug.

When they broke apart they both seemed to be sniffing loudly. Lily took a deep breath, giving her eyes one last good wipe and then reopened her textbook. "Anyone want to quiz me on Transfiguration?" she asked quietly.

And Marlene, who detested studying and O.W.L.s more than any of us, picked up the book and began to quiz Lily on the chapter questions.

* * *

"It sucks Lily didn't want to come dinner," Mary complained at the House Table later that night, as she served herself a scoop of potatoes.

The Great Hall was a flurry of conversation this evening. With O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T's almost over, everyone was in marginally better spirits. The anxiety among the fifth and seventh years seemed to be dissipating now that everyone could see a light at the end of the tunnel. Apart from our Transfiguration exam the next day, we were through. And everyone was thrilled about it. Everyone it seemed, except Lily and Snape. While everyone else in the hall seemed to have forgotten the incident that happened this afternoon, Lily had not. She had refused to come to dinner telling us that she would much rather stay upstairs and study. I hadn't pushed her on it, and encouraged Mary to do the same. If Lily needed time, we owed it to her.

"She didn't want to run in Snape," I reminded Mary, taking a bite out of my sandwich.

Marlene snorted. "Do you blame her?" she asked, cutting her green bean on her plate into three even pieces. "Who would?"

Without Lily here, Marlene's tone about Snape had once again gone back to spiteful and entertained.

"But he's not even here," Mary said, looking over her shoulder to the Slytherin table.

I looked up from my plate and scanned the Slytherin table for a minute. Snape's usual spot between Mulciber and Rosier was empty. Weird. I would have thought he would have been here to try and talk to Lily, desperate to convince her that this was 'all a huge misunderstanding' or something. Maybe he wasn't feeling apologetic after all. That was a bit surprising.

A foot or so over at their table, Rabastan looked up and caught my gaze. A disturbing excited smile stretched across his face, as he winked at me. I shook my head and put down my sandwich, losing my appetite. Did he always have to be so _around?_ It made me shiver a little.

"Lily didn't know that Snape wouldn't be here" I told Mary quietly. "The last thing she wanted to do was have him come and talk to her. Or worse, have to sit through James and Sirius' retelling of the event." My eyes darkened and fell further down the table where the Marauders were involved in a joyous conversation with Otto and Landon about what Snape had looked like hanging upside down.

"They are being a _bit_ daft about it," Marlene noted, her gaze drifting to where James was brandishing his wand, boasting loudly. Peter was giggling, and Sirius was half standing on the bench. Only Remus seemed uninterested, burying his head in a leaflet of notes. James said something that made half the sixth years burst into loud laughter and Marlene shook her head.

" _A bit_?" I asked, eyebrow raised. "James just destroyed any chance he had with Lily, and now he's boasting about it."

Something I found a bit disappointing, if I was being honest. I had never believed James to be a bad guy. He had always seemed misguided. But when he had done today, had made that much harder to spot. He had been a fool.

"Not that he had that much of a chance anyway," Mary said moving her fork around the plate morosely.

"I don't know about that," Marlene said optimistically. "I know he's a bit pigheaded sometimes, but I've known James a long time. He can be kind when he wants too. If he calmed down a bit, I think he could be good for Lily."

"That's doubtful…" I trailed off, watching as James shouted "Snivellus" again over the roaring laughter of his audience.

Mary shook her head in agreement with me. "She'll never get there, Marlene. Especially not after this Snape thing. It crushed her."

"Maybe," Marlene said shrugging. "Who knows? I just hope this whole thing blows over soon. This year has already been hard enough."

"This year _has_ been exhausting," I admitted. Those words felt like an understatement. O.W.L.s were just the tip of the iceberg. With You-Know-Who's growing power, and the ever-growing lists of people we couldn't trust, it felt like everything was weighing on us. And with the end of the year steadily approaching, all I could think about was that in a few weeks' time, I'd have to leave the warm comforting setting of the castle and return to the orphanage. A thought that kept me sad throughout the rest of the meal.

Dinner ended without incident, and the three of us headed back to the Common Room, anxious to see Lily and make sure she was still fine. We were quite a bit behind the rest of the house, having waited for Mary to collect leftovers to bring to Lily.

"Do you think I brought enough?" Mary asked, clutching an entire dinner napkin laden with snacks from the Great Hall. "I don't want her to be sad _and_ hungry."

"You brought enough to feed all of Gryffindor Tower, Mare," I pointed out, swinging the flagon of pumpkin juice I had knicked from the table for her.

Marlene raised an eyebrow at me, smirking. "You do realize the House Elves will turn mutinous if they find out you've knicked that, right?"

"I plan on bringing it back in the morning," I reminded her, swinging it mischievously.

"Don't misunderstand," Marlene added quickly as we took the stairs two at a time, her smile widening. "I'm _proud_. I _love_ it when you break the rules. You haven't done much since-"

She stopped abruptly her face changing quickly. "-since O.W.L.s" she lied swiftly, hoping I hadn't noticed.

I knew what she had been about to say. She had been about to mention Sirius. That I hadn't been as spontaneous or mischievous since Sirius and I had stopped being friends. She was right, of course. Sirius had encouraged me to do riskier things, and now that I didn't have his voice in my ear, I had stopped. I didn't know if that was good or bad. It made that uncomfortable tight feeling, rise in my chest again. The one I always got when I thought about the Sirius situation, but I didn't want to make Marlene feel bad so I smiled through it.

"Good thing the exams are almost over then, huh?" I said brightly, masking what I felt. "The mischief can resume shortly."

"That a girl," Marlene chimed happily.

We rounded the final staircase towards Gryffindor tower and Mary frowned

"I didn't bring desert," she said solemnly. "I should've brought Lily one of those cute little puddings we had. That would have brightened her up a bit." she said, looking defeated.

"Honestly, I think it will be okay," I assured her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "She won't even notice."

"And anyway, the puddings aren't going to make her forget that Snape's a slimy little traitor," Marlene concluded as we climbed quietly. Mary sighed again.

As we climbed the final staircase towards Gryffindor Tower the three of us stopped dead in our tracks.

"Bloody hell!" Marlene swore.

"You have got to be kidding me," I seethed.

Mary's voice was the calmest. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear."

Curled up at the base of the Fat Lady, looking greasy and guilty, was Severus Snape.

He looked up at our approaching sound. Seemingly frozen with a furious look on his face, he sneered at us.

His mouth looked like he was doing his best to disguise some sort of snarl, similar to the look he usually gave us, but his eyes were wide and watery, like he had been crying. Or trying not to. Normally the sight of that might have made me pity him, but now it simply made me reach for my wand. Snape got to his feet.

" _You_ ," he panted quickly, moving forward in a quick desperate motion. "You have to get Lily. Bring her down here."

"Right." Marlene let out a high, cruel laugh that suggested she would rather eat her own wand than do anything Severus Snape ordered her too.

"Like hell we do," I told him, clutching my wand tighter. Snape's eyes had already flickered to it, and his hand twitched like he wanted to draw his own and it took everything he had not too.

"I need to speak to her," Snape reasoned, his voice still hard and unwelcoming. He didn't sound at all like someone who was trying to right a wrong, or ask for a favor.

I let out a breathy little noise. Snape had some nerve, coming here after what he done. He was lucky that it had been the three of us who had found him, instead of the Marauders, or I was sure a duel would have ensued. James Potter liked to jinx first, ask questions later.

"Too bad," Marlene said firmly. "You should have thought of that before, _Snivellus._ "

Snape's eyes flickered at her insult, narrowing maliciously. He turned towards me when he spoke again.

"I need to speak to her," he repeated, his voice strange. "I _have_ to tell her I'm sorry. We're best friends, she owes me that much."

"Best friends don't say things like you did, to each other," I reminded him. "She doesn't owe you anything."

I knew first hand that none of us would have _ever_ said _anything_ like that to Lily. No matter how mad or humiliated we were. It was unforgivable.

Snape looked pained. "I didn't mean it."

"Yes, you did," Mary rebuked, looking much more confident then I'd ever seen here while speaking to a Slytherin. "You're just sorry about how it turned out."

"I wouldn't ever want to see your face again after what you said," Marlene hissed at him. "You're lucky she didn't hex you into seventh year!"

"Lily would never do that," Snape snapped at her, his voice dripping with its usual malice. "She isn't like the _rest of you Gryffindors_ , so high and mighty, so arrogant that you can't see how weak you really are…"

"Weak?" Marlene shouted crossing her arms in fury. "We weren't the ones dangling from our ankles with little pink bubbles flying out of our mouths this afternoon, were we?"

Any trace of regret or guilt on Snape's face immediately disappeared, and his wand slipped into his hand as his upper lip curled. Marlene noticed, and her eyes widened with irritation.

"You might want to stop while you're ahead," I warned Snape coolly, raising my wand. "Insulting us, won't change your situation. Because unlike Lily, I'm not afraid to finish what James and Sirius started, if your diatribe continues"

I hadn't liked what James or Sirius had done this afternoon but I certainly wasn't going to sit here and let Snape cause any more damage. He'd done enough already.

"Are you threatening me?" Snape asked curtly, all pretense of civility gone.

"No, Snape." I said and shook my head carefully. "It's not a threat if you're fully prepared to do it."

Marlene smiled.

Snape looked from the three of us and sighed, and with what looked like great difficulty pocketed his wand. The only sensible thing he'd done today.

"I need to talk to Lily," he pressed again, much more frantic than he was before. "So, you can go up there and tell her I'm not leaving this spot until she comes down. I'll sleep here, if I have too, and you can tell her that!"

It was silent in the corridor for a moment, as Marlene, Mary and I exchanged loaded looks. No one quite knew what to say. It was clear, even without words, just how much we despised Snape, and vice versa.

"I'll tell her that you're down here," Mary said sternly, after a moment of silence. "But that's _it._ I certainly won't encourage her."

"Thank you," Snape said and sat back down on the floor.

"Don't thank us," Marlene said, giving the Fat Lady the password and ushering Mary and I in, "because personally I think the three of us are in agreement that you, Severus Snape, are _scum_."

The door to the Portrait Hole swung closed, so none of us could hear if Snape had an answer to her words. The moment it did, I let out the shudder I was holding onto.

The common room half full of people scattered around in various conversations, others having already gone upstairs to get ready for bed. Lily was missing, probably up in the dormitory. It was too close to curfew for anyone to be roaming about outside. Anyone, besides Snape.

"What a presumptuous little git," I said shaking my head. "How can he think she wants to talk to him?"

"He doesn't" Marlene said carefully. "He's desperate. He knows it's a lost cause."

Mary's eyes were wide and reproachful. "I suppose I should go and tell Lily he's out there. She'll want to know."

"Good luck with that," Marlene said, with nervous eyes, glad she wouldn't have to be the one to do.

Mary straightened herself for a moment and then headed for the girl's staircase leaving Marlene I alone.

"Do you think she'll forgive him?" Marlene asked me bluntly, her eyes wide and curious. I could tell from the look on her face she hoped that Lily wouldn't.

I left out a lofty sigh. "I don't think so. Lily's a forgiving person, but there's some behavior that's beyond forgiveness."

Marlene gave a deep exhale, gathering all of her hair into a loose bun, as we both curled up on the empty loveseat beside us. It had been such a long, arduous day that neither of us felt much like doing anything besides sitting quietly.

The only sounds that could be heard in the room was the distant chatter of the sixth years as they sat clustered around the fire.

After sitting down for a minute, Lily had come swiftly walking down the stairs, a determined look plastered across her face and disappeared through the Portrait Hole without a word. Mary had clearly told her who was waiting out there.

"Feel like going upstairs?" I asked Marlene, suddenly feeling the weight of the day. Curling up in my bed felt like the only solution there was.

Marlene gave a curt nod and the two of us headed quietly up the stone staircase towards our dormitory.

"I'm not happy this happened, you know" Marlene said quietly watching my face carefully as we approached the door to our room. "I want you to know that. I know it seems like I am, but I would _never_ be happy that Lily's upset. I'm just glad to be rid of Snape is all."

She had stopped right in front of our door, looking slightly guiltier than Marlene usually did.

"I know," I assured her. "I don't think even Lily blames you for that. Snape's always been unwelcoming."

Unwelcoming was putting it mildly. He had always been surly, rude and bigoted.

"Yeah, that's true," Marlene said, her confidence growing. "Merlin this whole thing blows, doesn't it?"

"Definitely."

Marlene pushed open the door and traipsed into the room. Alice and Rylie were curled up on Rylie's bed in front of an open Transfiguration book trying to transfigure a candle into a snuffbox and giggling loudly for some unknown reason.

"Hi guys!" Alice said brightly, "Fancy a quick review for Transfiguration tomorrow? Rylie has some excellent flashcards."

Marlene groaned loudly landing face first onto her bed, and I chuckled.

"I think if anyone talks about any more exams in front of Marlene she might transfigure one of us into an owl," I told Alice with a smile. Rylie and Mary giggled quietly.

Alice flashed me a mischievous grin. "We don't even learn Human Transfiguration until next year, so if she did, she'll definitely pass her exam tomorrow," she joked quietly. Marlene groaned again.

Still chuckling, I took a minute to get into my pajamas and crawl into bed. I was still a little worried about Lily, and didn't plan on going to bed until she came back to the dormitory. I was about to place my wand on the nightstand when the jarred candle on my nightstand sparked an idea. The waxy candle had a tiny flame, only serving to illuminate the framed photo of my parents.

I picked up my wand, thinking one last practice at Transfiguration before tomorrow couldn't hurt…

I pointed my wand at the flames and cast the bluebell flames spell. " _Caeruleum Incendio!"_

The flames doubled in size and turned a beautiful shade of bright blue. I smiled at it, as it danced in front of the glass, and the photo of my parents clapped in admiration.

"Now you're just showing off," Mary joked beside me, smiling at the flames proudly.

Marlene took one look at them as she shrugged off her slippers and sighed. "I. Am. Going. To. Fail. _Everything._ "

Mary and I opened our mouths to start our usual round of reassuring Marlene when the door to the dormitory opened and Lily's face appeared.

My mouth snapped closed. Her cheeks were pink and fresh with emotion, and her eyes were slightly swimmy. Tiny pieces of red hair were framing her face, having escaped from her ponytail, like she might have run back here. She stood in front of the door for a moment and then shook her head.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"How could he have possibly thought I would forgive him for that?" Lily asked quietly. "Like what happened this afternoon was some silly little argument?"

"Do you mean Snape?" Rylie asked daftly. "I heard about that."

Every person in the room turned to Rylie and gave her an impatient, knowing look. Looking slightly mortified, Alice elbowed her in the ribs, and Rylie stopped speaking.

"I told him I had no interest in being his friend again," Lily said firmly, plopping herself down on her bed, and staring up at the curtain above her. "It didn't matter how much he begged or apologized. That wasn't an accident. Just like him hanging out with Avery and Mulciber wasn't an accident. Snape and I have chosen different sides." She let out a very defeated breath and rolled over to face us, her expression was strangely firm. She had clearly made up her mind about the situation.

"I'm really sorry, Lily," I whispered. I knew the weight of losing a friend. Of trusting, someone and having it backfire on you. I couldn't ignore the image of Sirius that popped into my head as I did.

"You're better off," Marlene insisted, rolling over onto her stomach. "Trust me."

Lily grimaced, her face an unreadable mixture of assurance, sadness, and strength. "I hope so."

I nodded my head fiercely as I crawled under the comforter. "You are."

Lily offered us all a smile. "Thank you. If you guys don't mind, I'm going to bed. I'm so exhausted I'm probably going to sleep through the entire exam tomorrow."

"She brought up the exam. Now's your chance, Marlene. Turn her into an Owl," I chuckled. Rylie and Alice chuckled from their beds.

"I'm tempted," Marlene whispered from her pillow.

Lily blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Don't worry about," Marlene told her and with one twist of her wand extinguished every light in the room. "Goodnight, Lily."

* * *

The next few weeks at the castle flew by so quickly, it was like someone had used a Time Turner. With O. and N.E.W.T's over , the fifth and seventh years got to enjoy a bit a free time while the other years studied for and finished their end of the year exams. Marlene, Mary and I were grateful for the reprieve.

The Hufflepuff and Slytherin match took place as usual, though we skipped watching it to celebrate Mary's birthday. Two weeks later we suffered through a particularly brutal Gryffindor loss to Ravenclaw, 320 to 310, that had Gideon, Otto and I screaming so hard our throats went raw. It won Ravenclaw the Quidditch Cup, and had Landon threatening to throw himself on the stands.

Mary, Marlene and I spent most the rest of our free time out on the grounds, enjoying the sunshine and swimming in the Black Lake.

Lily, in particular, seemed hell-bent on making sure all four of us had a good time. She had been almost overly-enthusiastically peppy since the incident with Snape outside of Gryffindor Tower. Marlene and I had our suspicions that she was doing her best to avoid any mention of him, so we wouldn't constantly ask her how she was feeling about. She seemed to want to forget about her former best friend.

Not that that stopped him from stalking her around the castle. Everywhere we went, Snape seemed to show up. Waiting outside on the grounds, outside of Gryffindor Tower, by the house table in the Great Hall (a decent distance from James and Sirius). It didn't matter how many times Lily ordered him away or told him to bugger off, he didn't budge.

On the final morning of term, we had just barely managed to skate by Snape without him noticing, by taking the long way to the Great Hall.

"You can't say he's not determined," I said, shaking my head as we sat down at the House table. It was just the three of us this morning. To Marlene's dismay, Mary was off with Landon, enjoying their final day together for months.

Marlene snorted. "Yeah, if you call _stalking_ determined. Seems like his pal Rabastan might be giving him some tips."

I shuddered and Marlene chuckled.

"I just wish I didn't have to deal with it anymore," Lily complained, reaching for a stack of toast. "I made my choice, and so did he."

"At least it will be summer," I offered brightly, taking a large bite out of an apple. "You won't have to see him as much."

Lily shrugged, taking a tiny bite.

"I wouldn't put it past him to stalk you at your house too," Marlene said. "Doesn't he live in the same neighborhood."

Lily gave a grave nod. "Only down a couple streets."

Marlene shuddered, as if the idea of living so close to Snape disgusted her. She lifted her wand and with one flick and a quick incantation summoned the flagon of orange juice down the table and right out of her brother Carmichael's hand.

He scowled at her across the table.

"Was that necessary?" I asked, shaking my head at her. "You could have just _asked_ him."

Marlene shrugged. "Today's our last day we can use magic for two whole months, I'm taking advantage."

Her words served as an awful reminder. Tomorrow I'd be back in the orphanage, stuck for two months pretending that I wasn't a witch, and I didn't go to Hogwarts, locking away my schoolbooks and magical items for _two whole months._

"Do you have to be such a spoiled brat all of the time, Marlene?" Carmichael snapped at his sister, getting up from the table angrily. His prefect badge glinted in the sun as he did. "Honestly. Just because you're the youngest does _not_ give you carte blanche to ignore common niceties and do whatever you please!"

Carmichael's words had caused the surrounding Gryffindor's to look up in surprise. Out of all the McKinnon's, Carmichael was always the most behaved, quiet and reserved. The rule-follower. Everything from his perfect gelled hair to his neatly ironed shirt perpetuated this idea. This kind of outburst was very unexpected.

Marlene blinked in response. "Merlin, what's got your wand in such a knot, Michey?"

Carmichael gave a disgruntled growl and left the hall without another word, leaving the rest of us stunned and silent. Marlene stared back at the seat he had been in a moment ago, completely confused.

"Did you see that?" she asked in disbelief. "What in the world is wrong with him?"

I shook my head. "I don't think I've ever seen Carmichael that upset. Not even the time that Landon and Meredith broke his brass scales in the Common Room."

"He's a loon!" Marlene said shaking her head as she loaded her plate with waffles. "He's off his rocker. What could possibly have happened to make him act like that."

"I bet _Hestia_ knows," Krysten said to Marlene suggestively, joining the conversation from our beside us. Nora Tenenbaum snorted her into her goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

"Hestia?" Marlene demanded. "What does she have to do with it?"

Across the table, Hestia's tanned cheeks turned slightly pink as she picked at her plate. Her fringe was in her eyes, and hiding most of her face.

"Remind me to never tell you anything, Krysten" she said, throwing her and Nora a very cross look. It was probably the only time to date I'd ever seen Hestia look even slightly embarrassed. She normally looked too tough for that sort of thing.

"Technically, you didn't tell me anything," Krysten reminded her pompously, "I overheard you telling Emmeline and your cousin Gwenog."

"Well then next time I should just jinx your mouth closed," Hestia snapped quietly. Her tone was hostile, and now even the crowd of sixth year boys to her left were eavesdropping. Even those, who usually didn't care, like Gideon and Sturgis, looked interested.

"What does any of this have to do with Carmichael?" Marlene asked, loudly. Hestia blushed deeper, keeping her eyes trained down on her plate. Her already abnormally long eyelashes were now resting on her cheekbones.

The Marauders had just taken their seats at the Table too, and even they were listening to the conversation with a mild curiosity.

Krysten looked from Marlene to Hestia for a second and then rolled her eyes, seemingly tired of concealing whatever it was that was making Hestia so quiet.

"He asked her out," Krysten told Marlene enthusiastically. "This morning in the Common Room!"

"No!" Marlene asked, her hand covering her mouth as she chuckled. Hestia blushed deeper.

Beside Hestia, Gideon and Fabian looked as if they were suppressing laughter and Otto wore a look of pure fury. "He asked you out?" he demanded quietly.

"Can I call you sister now?" Marlene teased Hestia lightheartedly. "Or is that a bit premature?"

Hestia rolled her eyes. "Obviously, I said _no."_ She looked miserable to have this much attention on her for any reason other than Quidditch. And everyone in the vicinity had their eyes trained plainly on her.

"I mean we have nothing in common!" Hestia implored, "and even if we did, he's a seventh year, he's leaving tomorrow. There's no point."

Hestia was being generous. She and Carmichael couldn't have been a worse fit if they tried, but I felt for Carmichael anyway.

Marlene's face was lit with pleasure. "I would have given anything to see it."

"We were there," Fabian said quickly. "It was sad."

"Good," Marlene said darkly. "Might make him less of a cocky bastard around the holiday."

"Don't be mean. It leads to wrinkles," I told her. "And anyway. He's probably crushed enough without you relishing in his pain."

Gideon nodded eagerly across the table. "Poor bloke was crushed."

Hestia let out a loud, elongated sigh and looked like she wanted to apparate right out of her seat. "Why won't this conversation end?"

"You're a certified Heartbreaker, Jones," Sirius said cheekily, a few seats down. "Want to join the club? I'm thinking we can get velvet robes."

It was strange to hear Sirius speak so lightheartedly. Every time he spoke to me, it was always so sullen and snarky. I had almost forgotten what it sounded like when he was being cheeky.

"Sirius," Remus sighed. James and Peter laughed. Lily actually cringed at the sound of it. She had expertly avoided all of the Marauders since the Snape incident.

"I swear to Merlin, Black, keep talking and I'll hex that smile right off your face," Hestia warned, waving her wand at him.

"Not the face," Sirius pleaded jokingly. "I need that if I plan on continuing with our club."

Marlene was still bouncing in her seat. "I've never wished Landon was here more. It won't be as fun when I retell it to him."

Hestia groaned.

A loud swooping noise droned out the rest of the conversation as a swarm of owls entered into the Great Hall delivering the morning post.

"Thank Merlin," Hestia cheered as the owls dropped letters and copies of the Prophet into people's laps., "A distraction."

"I wouldn't cheer yet, Hestia," James said across the table, the front of the prophet open in front of him. "It's not the good kind."

A collection of gaps and sighs echoed across the hall as everyone read the headline of the morning prophet; **THOUSANDS OF FLIERS ACROSS WIZARD ENGLAND, INVITE SUPPORTERS OF YOU-KNOW-WHO TO A MEETING**

I grabbed the paper tightly, my eyes flying across the article in disbelief. It read;

 **THOUSANDS OF FLIERS ACROSS WIZARD ENGLAND, INVITE SUPPORTERS OF YOU-KNOW-WHO TO A MEETING**

 **By Rita Skeeter**

 _Seemingly overnight, thousands of fliers, with metal cauldrons attached, have been plastered around various wizarding locations in United Kingdom, inviting supporters of You-Know-Who to meeting to join up. The heinously colored, hunter green fliers read 'DO YOU HATE MUDBLOODS? DO YOU WISH TO RID THE WIZARDING WORLD OF THEIR SCUM? YOU HAVE OPTIONS. JOIN US FOR A MEETING ON THE 12_ _th_ _OF AUGUST TO DISCUSS THE OPPRITUNITIES AND POWERS AVAILIBLE TO YOU TO END THE MIXTURE OF MAGICAL AND MUGGLE BLOOD, BY JOINING FORCES WITH THE DARK LORD. TO RSVP, INTERESTED PARTIES NEED ONLY LEAD THEIR NAMES IN THE ATTATCHED CAULDRON. MUDBLOODS NEED NOT APPLY'_

 _When a name is entered into the cauldron on a slip of paper it immediately disappears, apparently sent to whomever left the fliers to begin with. The fliers and cauldrons are everywhere, littering streets in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, as well as several other wizarding locations around the country._

 _"_ _I went in to Diagon Alley yesterday to pick up a batch of potions ingredients and suddenly they were just everywhere!" Matilda Burnsworth, a mother of three complained._

 _While many have attempted to remove the offensive fliers and cauldrons themselves, they have been unable._

 _"_ _They're disgusting!" claimed Florean Fortescue, owner of the famous Fortescue's ice cream shop in Diagon Alley. "I tried to rip them down, burn em, explode them. No use! The damn things are stuck!"_

 _It seems they were attached with a permeant sticking charm that has proven to be very powerful, which suggests it was cast by a very powerful wizard. You-Know-Who himself perhaps? The charm was powerful enough that the Minister of Magic, Millicent Bagnold and her trained team from the Improper Use of Magic office were unable to remove them either. Aurors, including the surly and unpleasant head of department, Alastor 'Mad-eye' Moody were called onto the scen and also unable to remove them._

 _After failing to remove the vaguely threatening posters and asked for a comment, Moody responded. "Get out of my way" and attempted to physically remove me from the scene. However, the fliers have still not been removed and remain a dangerous, and unsightly eye sore to the wizarding community, and a disgrace to our ministry._

 _Only one thing remains sure, come 12_ _th_ _of August there will be a meeting in support of You-Know Who._

Everyone in the Great Hall was silent as they read or finished the article. Up at the High Table, the teachers looked equally as grim, exchanging worried and meaningful glances with one another until Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall excused themselves and left the hall.

"I'm not surprised," Sirius said after a minute, finally breaking the silence that had fallen over the Gryffindor table. "He's been getting stronger for months."

Gideon let out a low, reproachful whistle and exchanged a look with his brother.

"It was only a matter of time," James nodded. "He's not running for minister of magic, he's starting a rebellion. He need's numbers."

"But how can people still be willing to join him?" I demanded, rereading the article over again.

Lily frowned, solemnly, "I wouldn't underestimate the bigotry that runs in those Pureblood families."

"What's that supposed to mean?" James asked her pointedly, "that all Purebloods think like he does? Because I would never-"

"She didn't mean all Purebloods, James" I said quickly, before the fight could spiral out of control. "You know who she means." My eyes flitted over to the Slytherin Table, where apart from Emmeline, none of them looked worried or scared. They looked relived. Happy even. Care-free.

For a second, I was sure Sirius smiled at my words, but the moment I looked back he was scowling at me again.

Lily eyes narrowed at James continued, "Use your head, Potter. Every time another year graduates from Hogwarts, there's a fresh new batch of siblings, sons and daughters of the people who already have joined him"

"He's building up an army still inside of the castle's walls," I realized, thinking about what Rabastan had said that night we overheard them.

"Not to mention the people whose minds he probably turning by the minute in the ministry," Gideon said darkly.

"He's promising Power too," Remus acknowledged. "Weak people could be swayed by that."

I felt my stomach bottom out as I shook my head, and pushed my plate away.

"Well one things for sure," Lily said quickly. "It's going to get worse before it gets better."

The rest of breakfast was a very solemn affair, slightly depressing considering it was a last one in the castle for months. No one much felt like doing anything fun after. Most people headed back to the dormitory to relax and pack, or hang on the grounds. James and Landon were discussing the possibility pick-up Quidditch game on the pitch.

"I suppose you want to watch that?" Marlene asked, as Lily and I left the Great Hall. "Any chance I can talk you out of that and we can just listen to the Wizarding Wireless instead?"

I sighed. "Much as I would love too. I can't. I promised Hagrid I would visit with him today. But we can listen to it later when we pack if you want."

I never skipped out on any plans I had with Hagrid. He had done a lot for me these last few years and I really appreciated it. Like Professor McGonagall, he was as close a thing I had to an adult family member.

"Fine," Marlene said with a fake sigh.

Lily took Marlene's arm brightly, "Come on. I know what'll cheer you up," she said. "Let's go tell Landon all about Carmichael and Hestia."

Marlene's face brightened immediately. "Oh yes! See you in a bit, Doe!"

As my friends skipped off towards Gryffindor tower, I headed for the grounds towards Hagrid's Hat. It was beautiful outside today and many of the younger students were taking advantage, sunbathing by the lake.

When I got to Hagrid's, he was outside, tending to a tethered Hippogriff. An enormous creature with mostly white feathers.

"Hi, Hagrid," I said cheerfully as I approached, careful to give the beast a wide berth. Professor's Kettleburns lesson on Hippogriffs earlier in the year, had resulted in Xeno Lovegood almost losing an eye.

"Hiya, Doe! Glad you made it down," Hagrid boasted happily, patting the Hippogriff heartily on the back. "How's yer last day been? A bit bittersweet?"

"I always have time for you Hagrid," I said, plopping down on one of the large tree stumps on the ground. "And I suppose so. It's never great whenever I have to leave."

Hagrid offered me a smile and gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "It's only for a few months. Yer will be back before you know it."

"I know," I told him, wrapping my legs around my knees. "I just miss this place when I'm gone."

Hagrid nodded. "I know what yer mean. Any time I have to go, even for the day to Diagon Alley, it makes me anxious. This place is home, 'specially for people likes us who don't have another one. The castle takes good care of orphans"

"I wouldn't trade it for the world," I agreed.

In lieu of having my parents and a home with them, this castle was the only other place in existence that ever made me feel at home.

"Is Dumbledore letting yer stay with your friends for a bit, at least?" Hagrid asked tossing a couple of dead mice into the air for the Hippogriff to catch.

I nodded. "With Lily, for the last week of summer."

I had gotten the letter from Dumbledore only two days before. He had prearranged with the orphanage and Lily's parents. Lily and I were thrilled. I loved spending time with her, and we even got to go to leave for Hogwarts together.

"That's good," Hagrid said with a smile, "I like Lily. Nice girl. And It'll break up the holiday a bit for yer. Though I suppose, this year you can go out and about on yer own a bit now, can't ya? You don't need me to take yer to Diagon Alley."

Hagrid's face had gone a bit solemn as he said this. The orphanage had strict rules about letting anyone out alone before age sixteen. I didn't know why, something about a boy and an incident several years ago. And because of this, Hagrid had always accompanied me to my visits to Diagon Alley for my school supplies. It had been a yearly tradition, and now this year, he didn't have too.

He looked crestfallen about it. Like he had enjoyed the trips. That thought had never occurred to me before. I had always thought Hagrid was just being polite, I'd never known they meant something to him.

"How about we get a butterbeer at the Leaky Cauldron anyway?" I suggested. "July 30th? Like Usual?"

"Ya sure?" Hagrid asked, his heavy eyebrow raised in surprise. "I don't want ter force ya or nuttin."

I shook my head. "Hagrid, it would be my pleasure. It wouldn't really feel like summer if I didn't see you anyway."

Hagrid's beetle like eyes crinkled as his smile overtook his kind face. "Sounds like a plan ter me."

He wiped his eyes and patted the Hippogriff who stomped her feet, almost crushing Hagrid's foot. I gasped for a second, having flashbacks to the centaurs but Hagrid brushed her off calmly. "Don't mind O' Fairfeather here, she's pregnant. They're always o' bit feistier when they're gonna lay eggs." He gave her a comforting pat.

"So go on," Hagrid pressed, tossing Fairfeather another mouse. "Tell me how yer exams went."

I stayed at Hagrid's until just past lunch, enjoying roast beef sandwiches and talking while he took good care of Fairfeather, who seemed to be much more receptive to me the longer I was there. It was nice way to spend the morning, but by the time I got back to the Common Room I was exhausted and still had to start the arduous task of packing everything up in the dormitory.

When I got to the dormitory, all of my dorm mates had already begun the process of packing. The newest Goblin Gang record was playing softly in the background as they laughed and talked, surrounded by their possessions. Mary, Alice and Rylie were organizing their stuff into piles, while Lily sat amongst several even stacks of perfectly folded garments.

Marlene, looked by far the most frazzled. Her hair was thrown into a bun on the top of her head, and she wore three sizes too big for her as she sat amongst a disaster of everything she owned.

"I hate packing," Marlene complained when I came into the room. "It's boring and I hate it."

"Tell me about it," I said reaching under my bed to grab the heavy, brown leather suitcase stowed behind my trunk, and placing it open on the bed.

"You could definitely have it worse," Mary reminded her, throwing a look in my direction.

Marlene eyed it reproachfully. "Right. I suppose it is a tad insensitive for me to complain when I'm watching what you have to do."

"Trust me, you get used to it," I told her, scooping everything in my trunk out in two armfuls and laying it on my bed.

Lily smiled brightly. "I know it's a pain, but I actually love watching you do this!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands together in excitement. "It's just such brilliant magic."

"That's a compliment to Dumbledore," I told her taking out my wand.

Lily smiled. "Still."

All of my dorm mates watched in awe, as I carefully tapped my wand in each of the empty four corners of my trunk and recited " _Capacious Extremis!"_

With a loud resounding click, a handle appeared on the bottom of the trunk, revealing the undetectable extension charm Dumbledore had cast on it five years ago.

"Can someone help me carry that stuff in?" I asked as I yanked the handle upward and revealed the thin, wooden ladder.

"I'll do it," Lily offered, jumping to her feet, with a refreshing amount of excitement. With armfuls of clothes, spell books and other things, we climbed down the ladder and into my trunk.

"That's absolutely brilliant!" Alice called appreciatively as Lily and I disappeared downward.

The two of us climbed the ladder down to the familiar room I'd been to some many times. No bigger than a large storage closet, the tiny room was where I kept all of my possessions.

"I always forget this is in there," Lily said appreciatively, staring around the room in wonder.

I supposed if the room hadn't been a necessity for me, I would probably like it a bit more, but I still couldn't deny what Lily was seeing through her eyes. It was extraordinary magic.

The dark room didn't contain much. Two iron clothing racks took up most of the room, hung with mainly muggle clothes, for various seasons and a few sets of dress robes and cloaks. There was a heavy wooden bookcase on one wall, containing every textbook and magical book I'd purchased in the last five years, and a small dresser on that opposite wall that was half filled with t-shirts and various miscellaneous magical items. A few cardboard boxes took up the rest of the room, containing odds and ends that had no purpose, but might be needed.

The room had been wrought out of necessity. My parents' home was filled with magical items but inaccessible to me until I came of age. Everything of value from there been brought to the Gringotts vault anyway. The only thing kept there was a bunch of sentimental items that would have me retching with grief if I looked at them.

And since I couldn't get back to our tiny home in the village, I didn't have a place to put my magical things while I was at Hogwarts. I certainly couldn't keep them at the orphanage with me, without finding a way to keep them out of the eye of prying muggles. This was Dumbledore's solution; one expertly cast Undetectable Extension charm.

Lily and I made expert work of it, leaving all non-essential magical items in the room and taking out only what I'd need for the following year. I also grabbed all of my muggle clothes, shoes and anything else I'd need in the orphanage and dragged it all back up the ladder.

"Merlin, I wish I had one of those," Marlene said, as Lily and I remerged in the dormitory.

"Trust me," I told her, plopping the small pile of muggle clothes into the brown suitcase. "It's not nearly as fun as it looks. It's like living out of a _really_ big suitcase."

"Yeah," Marlene said quietly, "but think of the closet space…"

Everyone in the room laughed, and then quietly went back to packing their things. I closed the trapdoor of my trunk and put all of my uniforms, robes, cauldron, quills, ink and everything else I could possibly need for next year in the trunk and locked it with a heavy bronze key. I wouldn't be opening it again until I went shopping for school supplies with Lily. I kept the key in a rolled-up pair of socks in the backpack Hagrid gave me for Christmas, it could only be opened with a wand, perfect considering I couldn't risk any of my nosy dorm mates at the orphanage trying sneak a peek. They were always trying to find out more about me, and my mysterious school.

I carefully zipped up the brown suitcase, full to the brim with muggle clothes and things. This would be what I was living out of for the next two months, like usual. It was a depressing thought. I stroked my trunk sadly. What I wouldn't give to be able to spend July and August lost in the Standard Book of Spells Grade 6?

It took another hour or so before the rest of my dorm mates were finished packing for tomorrow. We spent the rest of the time, chatting happily about summer plans and who'd/what we'd miss in the castle.

By the time, we were heading into the Great Hall for the End-Of-The-Year feast it felt like the year had gone on forever, and I still wasn't ready to see it go.

"Ugh," James groaned loudly as a crowd of Gryffindors entered the Great Hall to find it decorated lavishly in Blue and Bronze, in honor of the House Cup winner. "Ravenclaw wins the Quidditch cup _and_ the House cup?"

" _Please_ , don't remind me," Landon sulked furiously.

"Or me," Hestia said, tracing her nose, which now had a tiny bump, curtesy of the Slytherins team.

Sirius waved them off as they took their seats at the house table. "Come on, we played well this year. We're only going to get better."

"Yeah because Eris and Henry are leaving," James said, dropping his voice quietly. "We can finally get some other decent chasers."

Landon frowned. "Right, we tried that this year remember? The best person who showed up was a clumsy third year."

My ears perked up at that. The Gryffindor team had two new positions to fill next year, and the pickings were slim. The Quidditch Cup felt like it was sliding further and further….

"I wish I felt more festive," Lily said taking a bite of a large caramel apple, covered in colorful sprinkles. 'But it's hard after what was in the prophet."

"I know it's bad, but let's be happy no one was hurt today," I said, trying to be optimistic. The idea of thinking any more about that stupid, You-Know-Who meeting was churning my stomach.

Mary frowned. "It's depressing that _that_ is our yard stick for a good day."

"A day where no one dies _is_ a good day," Marlene reminded us, sounding very wise. "Think about how many days that hasn't been the case this year."

The four of us exchanged a look, and realized how right she was. We had to count the good things before the bad.

"Merlin, McKinnon," Sirius said shaking his head, further down the table. "You sure know how to bring down a room."

Marlene rolled her eyes at him, and responded by tossing a handful of jelly slugs down the table at him that hit Peter square in the face and exploded, covering him in various hues of candy-colored slime. Peter turned pink and the entire table burst into loud laughter.

"Sorry Pettigrew," Marlene giggled. "Bad aim."

Peter blushed harder and the rest of the table continued to laugh as we finished our feast. The rest of the night floated by. Dumbledore gave a kind, if uninformative end of the year speech that seemed to be a touch worrisome. It was clear that he was still shaken up from was in the prophet. All of the teachers were.

And before we knew it, we were all in bed, in the dark talking in quiet hushed whispers. I let my eye's slipped closed, knowing that this was probably the last good night I would have for two months.

* * *

"Why is it that the train ride _to_ Hogwarts is so much more fun than the train ride back?" I asked as the four of us clambered onto the platform at Hogsmeade station. The station was littered with our classmates, everyone trying to load their luggage and find a compartment with their friends.

"Karma?" Lily asked.

"Too much of a good thing?" Mary suggested.

Marlene snorted. "You can _never_ have too much of a good thing. I live my life by that principle."

"And _that_ is why Baxter Thornbottle called you easy, yesterday," Mary grinned. She had to dive to avoid Marlene's elbowing, heading straight onto the train.

"You can run, but you can't hide McDonald!" Marlene cried chasing after her. "I can still use magic on the train. Don't think I won't jinx you!"

Lily and I chuckled as we watched Marlene dart full speed after her down the train corridor, wand in hand and giggling as they went.

"It's good they still can laugh and enjoy themselves with everything going on," I said happily, balancing my trunk and suitcase on the ground.

"Marlene's ability to have fun at any cost is something I never doubt," Lily smiled, shoving her trunk under the train. "I should go make sure they don't kill one another or try to sit in the Marauder's compartment or something. Meet you on the train?"

I nodded. "Be there in a minute, just let me load this."

"Okay," Lily said and bounded after our friends with a wider smile than I had seen her with in days.

Half the castle was already on the train and I shoved my way towards the luggage compartment, struggling with the large suitcase _and_ my trunk, with Hagrid's backpack full and heavy on my back. Sometimes it _really_ was inconvenient to be an orphan who had to carry all of my possessions with me everywhere.

I had just managed to shove the trunk halfway into the train when my hand slipped and the precarious balance I had with the trunk and suitcase dissipated. My wand, of course, was helplessly out of reach in my back pocket. The trunk slipped out of my hand and was about to crush my leg, when a large hand reached out and grabbed the bottom of it, hoisting it back onto the scarlet steam engine before it could cause any damage.

"Thank you!" I said with huge amounts of relief, turning to face the help. "Oh."

I stopped. Sirius was hoisting my trunk back into the train, avoiding eye contact with me at all costs and wearing his usual annoyed look he saved for me. I felt a sudden amount of fury rip through me.

"Thanks for the help," I said flatly, crossing my arms and clutching my suitcase tighter.

Sirius' eyes slowly looked back at me. His face, still handsome, looked less so when he was scowling.

The Marauders were standing a few feet behind him, hovering slightly before Remus ushered James and Peter onto the train, without Sirius.

"You could have levitated you know," Sirius told me confidently, "Isn't a simple levitation spell easy for _you?_ "

I hated the tone of his voice. He sounded like a Slytherin. It was the way Rabastan spoke to me. Actually, it was a little crueler.

"I didn't think I needed it," I told him, growing angrier by the second.

Sirius let out a dark laugh. "Figures. You love forgetting about things you don't _think_ you need."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked angrily.

"I think you know," Sirius said, rolling his grey eyes in a way that suggesting talking to me was annoying him.

" _Clearly_ , I don't or I wouldn't have asked!" I reminded him. "I don't make a habit of wasting people's time."

"I'm sorry deigning to talk to me is such a waste of time," Sirius snapped back. "Don't bother."

I rolled my eyes. "You know that isn't what I meant."

We were both silent for a minute, eyeing one another with frigid looks and crossed arms as a group of third years pushed past us to load their trunks on the train.

"Is this what it's going to be like for the next two years?" I asked him, finally. "Sniping at each other and throwing dirty looks?"

"That's what _you_ wanted," Sirius reminded me coldly. "Remember? You're the one who made it like this. We were friends. _Good_ friends."

"After _you_ betrayed my trust," I pointed out, growing irritated. 'And I never asked you to act like this!"

"Like what?" Sirius pressed. "What exactly is it that I'm doing to you that's so awful."

"Oh, come of it," I snapped. "You know exactly what you're doing."

"You're mad," Sirius snapped back.

I rolled my eyes. This was clearly getting nowhere. I don't know why he even offered to help me if he was going to act like this.

I grabbed my suitcase and pushed past him.

I was just climbing onto the train with a new sense of frustration with Sirius, when I heard him call, "Doe!"

It sounded different. Different than he had spoken to me lately. More like before.

I stopped on the steps of the train. "What?"

Sirius face was honest for a minute. He opened his mouth to say something and then shook his head. "Nevermind," he said, the surly tone returned.

Even more frustrated than I was before, I turned on my heels and stomped away. Why is it that he could get me _so_ mad? Why did he have to make me feel like this when we weren't on good terms?

I was so frustrated and buried in my thoughts I almost barreled into someone in the train corridor.

The man turned around, a wide smile on his face and a malicious twinkle in his bright, almost terrifying green eyes.

I sighed, of all the people to run into now.

"Hello, Pet," Rabastan cooed softly. "Come to see me off? _How sweet._ "

He was with Dolohov and Mcnair, two people who hated me almost as much as I hated them. And from the look on Antonin's face, he clearly hadn't forgotten what I had said to him in the Great Hall.

"We can still use magic on the train Rabastan," I threatened, trying to push past him. "Don't think I won't."

Rabastan leaned forward and blocked my path, his dimples forming as he smiled cockily. "Oh, Doe. Don't play with me, like that. Not here without the fun of the dormitories."

"You're vile," I reminded him, my upper lip curling. "You'd never get me anywhere near you without an imperius curse."

Rabastan grinned. "See? Now _that_ could be fun. We're brainstorming, and I like it."

While I normally tried my best to hide my reactions from Rabastan to keep from giving him the satisfaction, I couldn't hide my shudder.

Still blocking the corridor and grinning like it where boxing day, Rabsatan stroked the length of my suitcase.

" _Tsk Tsk_ ," he said quietly. "All packed for your grimy little orphanage I see? You know, if you ever want a few nights at my manor. I'm always ready to oblige."

"Get out of the way, Lestrange," A loud, firm voice bellowed behind me. A slight flicker of annoyance crossed Rabastan's face and I turned around to find Gideon Prewett standing behind me. He was so tall, that he almost came to the top of the corridor, and the tight grey t-shirt he wore, showed he had just as many muscles as Fabian had from playing Quidditch.

"Mind your own business, Prewett," Rabastan snapped. "I don't take orders from blood-traitors like you."

Gideon cracked a smile. "No? Well go ahead and pull out your wand if you think you'll win. But I warn you now, Between Doe and I, I don't think you'll like the results. So, if I were you, I'd get lost before someone mucks up the manicured face of yours."

There was something about Gideon's commanding prescense that silenced Rabastan. Perhaps it was his size, or his threat of power, but Rabastan took a step backward out of the way.

"Why is it that you attract such filth into your life, Dorcas?" Rabastan asked quietly, shaking his head.

"I've been asking myself that question since the moment you first spoke to me, Rabastan," I told him, grinning confidently.

Behind me, Gideon chuckled and Rabastan's upper lip twitched.

"Till we meet again, Pet," he said, casting a long look up and down my body before disappearing into a compartment with his cronies.

"What a git," Gideon said shaking his head, the moment he was out of earshot. "You okay?"

I nodded, "I'm fine," I assured him. "I was just trying to decide whether or not hexing him was worth the energy."

"Well I vote yes," Gideon smiled. "He deserves to be on the other end of one your hexes."

"He _more_ than deserves it."

Gideon smiled again, looking totally focused as he watched me. "Listen, Doe. I know summers aren't your favorite time of the year, so if you ever need anyone to talk to or hang out with, just send me an owl, alright? It be nice to hear from you."

I felt my cheeks turn a bright shade of red. "Oh, um. Okay. Thanks!"

Gideon nodded. "Honestly, any time."

Behind him, Sirius was entering his compartment with the Marauders. He took one look at Gideon and I and a furious scowl crossed his face as he entered the compartment. Why did he always have to look at me like _that?_

"Listen, I should go find Lily," I told Gideon. "Thanks for the help."

"No problem," Gideon said. "See you, Doe."

I waved goodbye to him and turned down the corridor searching each of the compartments for any sign of my friends. It took me awhile to find them. They were in the furthest compartment from the front.

"There you are," Marlene said happily as I closed the door behind me. "I thought you might have made a run for it back to the castle."

"I thought about it," I joked, plopping in the seat by the door as the train started to move. "But I thought better about it when I remembered _Filch_ lives there."

They laughed, and I smiled, the sound of laughing with my friends was one of the things that was going to carry me through the summer.

"What kept you?" Mary quietly, as the train chugged on through the country side.

"What didn't?" I said, slightly exasperated. "I fought with Sirius, and then with Rabastan."

Lily frowned sadly at me, and Mary shuddered.

"Tell me you at least got a hex in on Rabastan?" Marlene asked, chuckling. "or even Sirius for that matter, I'm not picky."

I shook my head. "Didn't get the chance. Gideon broke it up before Rabastan could get a proper hex."

"Gideon?" Lily asked excitedly, her face suddenly flooded with color as she hung onto my every word.

" _Gideon?_ Did you say?" Marlene teased, fluttering her eyelashes suggestively as she nudged me.

I rolled my eyes. "That's it. Let's talk about something else. _Anything_ else."

My friends laughed again and as the train began to speed. The rest of the train ride seemed to disappear in minutes. Snacking on chocolate frog, trying out last minute spells, and laughing with my friends carried me all the way until the train stomped at London.

I felt a returned sense of sadness as the four of us exited the train onto Platform 9 ¾ for the summer. _It's only two months_ , I reminded myself, sticking my wand deep into my pocket where it couldn't be seen anymore. _Two months is nothing._

The platform was extremely crowded as everyone exited the train and met their waiting families. Lily's mom and Petunia stood in the corner talking to Mary's parents. Marlene's entire family stood waiting to greet her, Landon and Carmichael.

"Bye guys!" Marlene called giving us a last-minute hug.

"I'll miss you all," Mary said, before dashing off with Julie.

"I'll see you in August!" Lily reminded me, giving me one last minute hug. "We're going to have so much fun."

"I can't wait," I assured her. "I'll be marking the days."

Lily hugged me once more, casting a final wave and then bounding off towards her mom and sister. Everyone was with their families now. With a little difficulty, I yanked my trunk off of the train and stood on the Platform for a moment, preparing myself for where I was going.

 _You'll be back here in September_ , I repeated again my head.

Dragging my luggage behind me I headed for the Barrier. It was only when I looked back, I noticed Sirius, leaning against the Scarlet Engine seductively, watching me as I left. My stomach lurched in a strange way as we made eye contact and I noticed the hint of a smile on one of the corners of Sirius mouth.

 _That_ , I thought. _I'll deal with in September too._


	23. Wool's Orphanage

**Authors Note: Guys, thank you SO MUCH for your reviews. Every time I read one I get so much joy. I love hearing what you guys like and don't like, so keep them coming :) Enjoy!**

23

Wool's Orphanage for the Unwanted and Abandoned

The taxi stopped at the end of the street, in front of a large, stone building that rose several stories higher than all of the others surrounding it. It was ugly, and greying from age and decay. The buildings around it were all residential. Nice new homes built well after this one, full of owners hoping the unsightly stone building would burn down one day. It would certainly raise their property values if it did. No one liked living so close to such a depressing place. How could those people go on about their day, having to stare through those large iron gates at all of those parentless children? Every last resident on the street secretly hoped that one day they would close Wool's Orphanage.

I sighed. The building was unchanged. Ten months away from it had not diluted the memory of the place one bit. It was still just as cold and depressing as I had remembered it had been when I'd left it in September. It had the strange ability to never change, no matter how much I did.

"And you're _sure_ this is the place?" the plump, taxi driver asked me rudely, his eyes reading the iron sign carefully, and assuming I had given him the wrong address.

Merlin, did I wish I had. Every inch of my body was dreading walking through that gate.

"Unless you know of a more welcoming orphanage," I told him, trying to my best to force a joke. He didn't smile. Instead he flashed me that pitiful look I had grown to detest.

"Alright, then," the driver said, the pity already starting to form on his face. "Let me help you with your luggage. Least I can do."

 _Since your parentless and sad_ , I thought glumly as I followed him to the trunk, making sure my wand was deep enough in my pocket to not be exposed.

It would be two months before I was able to take it out freely. _Two whole months_ without magic of any kind. The thought was exhausting, and I did my best not to think about it.

The driver helped me get my trunk and suitcase through the gate and stopped at the heavy wooden door.

"Thank you," I told him, handing him several bills of muggle money. He actually looked guilty taking it, throwing me a melancholy look before heading back to his taxi.

I waited until he had started the car and disappeared down the road before I went in, not wanting to give the driver the satisfaction of watching my reunion with the place. I took a long moment, staring up at the building in front of me. I didn't want to go in there. I wanted nothing more than to never see this place again.

I sighed as I pushed open the door, struggling with my trunk and suitcase. The checkered hallways were unusually barren went I entered. Mrs. Churchmire's chair at the front desk was empty too. It was dinner time, I realized quickly. That's why no one was here. They were all crowded around the dining room.

I was silently grateful that I decided to fill up on treats from the trolley on the train ride back. I'd be able to wait a whole other day until I had to suffer through the orphanage's dismal food prospects. My stomach grumbled at the thought of the breakfast food that always awaited me at Hogwarts. I mentally prepared myself for the unavoidable summer weight loss that came from skipping the porridge they served here in the morning.

I decided to check in with Mrs. Churchmire later, preferring to drag my stuff up to my room now rather than when it was full of people. It was easier to slip in unnoticed than make an entrance. Nobody here particularly liked me that much. I suppose it was hard too, when I spent ten months out of the year at a boarding school they'd never heard of.

It was a feat dragging my things up to the sixth floor and down the hall. I stopped at the third room. The one I'd moved to, two summers before. The door was closed, giving me a depressing view at the silver black plaque, fastened to it.

It read; _Girls Aged 14-18, M-S_

That was all it took to identify myself here, a sequence of boring, useful facts.

I pushed open the door, and sighed at the unremarkable, familiar room. It too, had changed very little. Rows of small, iron beds lined both walls, all the way to the back, each of them with a trunk in front, and a little wooden sign with each girl's name on it. The beds were covered with personal touches of their inhabitants, blankets, throw pillows and stuffed animals of various colors. The girls that lived here had done their best to make it their own, even decorating their name plates or covering their bed frames in ribbons.

The only thing that seemed to be different were the brightly covered rock band posters that some of the girls had fasted to the walls above their beds. Those, at the very least, seemed to change every summer, proudly displaying faces of muggles I only occasionally recognized.

There were at least forty beds in here. It made sharing a room with Lily, Marlene, Mary, Rylie and Alice seem like a paradise. Not that I ever minded rooming with them. At Hogwarts, it felt like a sleepover every night. There wasn't a trace of _that_ feeling in this room.

I made my way down to the only empty bed, halfway down the room. It was the only one that had no personal touches whatsoever. Only a white pillow, sheets and a blue comforter. The wooden sign in front of it was undecorated, the name printed neatly in black ink; _Dorcas M._

It was so plain, it stood out, even in this drab room. Something the other girls took pride in sniggering about every summer.

 _But what was I supposed to do about it?_ I thought as I shoved my trunk and suitcase under the bed. _Decorate?_ It wasn't as if I could put up a Goblin Gang poster on the wall, or hang a Puddlemore United flag from the end of my bed. Any photographs I had would never be able to be tacked to the walls, not unless I wanted to explain why they _moved_. Even the photo I had of my parents couldn't be displayed. It was locked in my trunk with the rest of my magical belongings, to be untouched until late July.

It was better to not get comfortable here, I thought as I sat down on the bed. Silently do my time, and counting down the days until I got to return to Hogwarts. _Maybe I should get a calendar_ , I thought glumly, as I stared up at the ceiling above my bed. _At least that way I could cross of the days until I could go to Lily's._ There was a little paper shop down the street. It sold calendars, stationary, and leather journals. The boy who worked there, Oliver Jenkins, used to hang around the orphanage to see me. He had been my first kiss.

Then something hit me so hard I almost fell off the bed. I was _sixteen_ now. I could leave the orphanage during the days and go wherever I wanted. My misery at returning to the place had almost made me forget. I could spend every minute I was allowed out of this place in Diagon Alley. That way, I'd at least by surrounded by magic. It wouldn't feel like a horrible nightmare I couldn't escape from like every other year. A tiny bright spot formed in my head at the thought of disappearing to the Leaky Cauldron right after breakfast.

The sound of giggling and chatter filled the hallway as the other kids returned from dinner. The door to the room cracked open and a gaggling group of girls entering all at once. Most of them were engrossed in conversation, only mildly looking in my direction. A few offered me a smile. I recognized most of them, but there were a few new faces. One's who had never seen me before.

A brunette girl with tan skin and long curly hair was talking the loudest, her nose turned up in the hair as she prattled on to her two companions. It was the girl I was looking forward to seeing the least. Her eyes narrowed as she stopped at the bed beside mine.

"So, you're back then?" Helen Meacon huffed in irritation, looking very cross at me rearrival. "That school finally kick you out? Realize what a weirdo you are?"

Helen had been at the orphanage since she was a baby, and from the moment I had set foot here five years ago, had made it her mission to despise me. It was mildly irritating, but after dealing with the likes of Narcissa and Elizabeth, nothing to worry about. Helen at least, couldn't hex me.

"Shockingly they haven't," I said, smirking. "I _had_ to come, back didn't I? For our friendship. It's really blossomed into something beautiful."

Helen rolled her eyes in irritation as she turned back to her friends. "Whatever, _Dork_ -ass."

I couldn't stop myself from snorting. "Really matured over the last year, haven't you, Helen?"

She didn't answer. She just threw me a crude look and followed one of her friends to the other side of the room, where they all glared at me from a heavily pillowed, pink bed.

For a moment, I forced myself to remember that Helen too, had _dead parents_. She didn't have magic or the reprieve that Hogwarts was for me. I tried to force myself to remember that she didn't have to worry about an evil, bigoted wizard taking over _her_ world. That _she_ didn't have a blood-status obsessed, murderous uncle evading prison. _She_ didn't have the stress of O.W.L.s results looming, or a fight still brewing with someone she had considered a close friend. If Helen wanted to spend her entire summer hating me, I was going to let her.

It didn't matter that it was barely seven. I grabbed my pajamas out of the suitcase and changed for bed. The sooner this day was over, the sooner I'd be back to Hogwarts.

It was going to be a _very_ long summer.

* * *

I forgot where I was when I woke up the next morning. I should have known immediately from the sounds emerging from the room, as the sun flooded through the streaked, dirty windows. There were no hoots from owls or light-heartened chit-chat between Alice and Lily, that usually filled the room of my dormitory. Instead there was only the sounds of forty girls waking up and getting ready for a boring, miserable day.

This was not Hogwarts. This was worse.

"Just so you know," Helen snapped, as I climbed out of bed, still wiping the sleep from my eyes, "We're going shopping downtown today to visit Oliver Jenkins at his father's shop, and you are _not_ invited."

She was sneering at me, expelling a lot of energy for this early in the morning, while twisting her hair into a thick plait.

I had to hide the smile that formed on my lips at the sound of her words. Unless something had changed drastically in the last ten months, Oliver Jenkins would be _very_ excited to see me if I turned up in the paper shop. Not that I planned on going anywhere near it today. I wasn't going to leave Diagon Alley until I absolutely had too.

"I hope you have fun," I told her honestly, too excited by the prospect of spending a day wandering amongst Wizarding shops to be flustered by her rudeness.

Helen surveyed my face searching for any sign of disappointment and grew flustered when she found none.

"You are _so_ strange," she said, growing more irritated. "I bet you don't have a single friend at that school of yours." Then she stomped out the door.

I had to suppress the urge to snort. Being called strange was nothing. _Good_ , even when I thought about all the things the Slytherins had called me over the years. Helen was going to have to try a bit harder than that if she really wanted to get to me.

I dressed quietly and alone, making sure my wand was hidden in my jeans, and bringing my backpack from Hagrid, my money bag jiggling inside. I waited to head down to breakfast to until Helen and her cronies had already left.

It was quite the hike, down the seven floors to the dining room. Several thirteen-year-old boys gave me looks of pure astonishment when they saw how tightly I had gripped the railing, forgetting that here I didn't how to worry about the staircase moving on me. It only made me miss the castle even more. I missed everything about it. Even Peeves.

As I let my mind wander back to Scotland, I felt a heavily ringed finger tap on my shoulder, stopping me just before I reached the doors to the dining room. I turned around to find a plump, heavily lip-sticked Mrs. Churchmire greeting me with a forced smile.

"Good morning, Dorcas," she greeted me happily. "We're all happy to have you back with us this summer."

That was a lie. A kind one, but a lie nonetheless. Helen would have rathered I died, then walk back through these doors, and Mrs. Churchmire and I had only had a handful of conversations over the years. She barely knew me.

"Thank you, Mrs. Churchmire," I said as I forced a smile back at her, grateful she didn't keep me any longer.

They _were_ serving porridge for breakfast, so I grabbed an orange and scanned the room for anywhere I could sit by myself. That's how I spent most of my time here, alone. I preferred it that way. A group of boys my age a few tables away watched me as I passed. I barely recognized any of them anymore.

"We got an open seat here!" One of them called suggestively, nudging at an open chair in the middle of all of them. His comment was met with a raucous bit of laughter from the rest of the boys that I didn't understand. One of the ones who laughed the loudest was named Walter Crutcher, a vicious boy who'd I known since my first summer here and was pretty sure had been the first one to notice the similarity between Dorcas and Dork-ass.

"No thanks."

I crossed the room keeping my head down and stopped seeing someone I recognized, a young boy with sandy brown hair and green eyes, Maddox Oates.

The third year Ravenclaw whose parents had been murdered by Death Eaters last year. He was sitting at one of the tables by himself, looking around, just as depressed and miserable as I was. It was strange to see another person here from Hogwarts. The only other one I had known of was You-Know-Who and that wasn't exactly something to boast about.

I felt an instant sense of kinship with Maddox, and pity that he, like me, clearly had nowhere better to go. I headed for his table.

"You're Maddox, right?" I asked quietly, as I stood in front of him. "Do you mind if I sit here?"  
Recognition flooded across Maddox's young face, surprise and excitement written plainly across it. It looked relief. Relief to know someone, for someone to know you. Who you _really_ were. I would have loved to have someone else from Hogwarts here when I had first gotten here. It would have made it feel less like a dream.

"Yes, of course. Please," he said fervently, looking grateful. "You go to Hogwarts too. Don't you?"

I offered Maddox a comforting smile and sat down, dropping my voice so that no one could overhear us. "I'm Doe," I told him nodding, "I'm in Gryffindor."

"I'm Ravenclaw," Maddox said earnestly, scooping a heaping spoonful of porridge into his mouth, almost knocking over a glass of orange juice as he did.

"I thought I recognized you," he said quickly. "It's nice to see someone from there. I thought I'd be alone. I'm glad I'm not."

I smiled, and picked at the orange in front of me, nimbly and without much enthusiasm. "How was your first night here?" I asked Maddox, hoping his had been better than mine.

Something dark flashed across Maddox's eyes for a moment and his face softened. "Do you have nightmares too?" he asked quietly, staring at his spoon.

I waited a moment, trying to decide whether or not it was kinder to lie to him, before I gave a tiny nod. Maddox sighed.

"It does get easier though," I promised him, trying to channel more enthusiasm. "With time. And when you're back at the castle, everything sort of melts away again."

"That's what Professor Flitwick said," Maddox said woefully, "That time will pass and all that rubbish. And I'm sure it will, but I just wish I could read though," He dropped his voice to a whisper. "You know something from _our_ world."

Being away from reading material was such a Ravenclaw concern. Maddox was staying true to his house.

"Spoken like a _Ravenclaw_ ," I said, chuckling softly. Maddox laughed into his orange juice. Across the room Helen and her friends eyed us smugly. To her, I'm sure it looked pathetic, me sitting with a thirteen-year-old. But what she could never understand was that Maddox and I were united by something bigger. An entire world that we belonged too and were hidden from at the moment. If I could make that transition a little easier for him, I was going too.

"You're sixteen, aren't you?" Maddox asked quickly. "Are you going to Diagon Alley today?"

I nodded as I bit into my orange and Maddox let out a whistle of a sigh. "I'm jealous. Wish I could go. I'm going to go mad in this place the whole summer."

"Are you here the whole summer then?" I asked, hoping I wasn't prying. Dumbledore usually tried to allow us to make plans for at least a bit of the summer. Maddox shook his head.

"I've got a great uncle who lives in Uganda. He's coming down in July and we're going to travel for a few weeks," said Maddox.

"Well, see? That's better than me. I only get to leave the last week."

"But _you_ get Diagon Alley," Maddox pointed out.

"That's fair."

I spent the rest of breakfast sitting with Maddox as he reminisced about all the things he'd miss about Hogwarts, taking care to avoid mentioning his parents in any of his stories. Something I was sure I did too when I first got here. Even now, it took prying from Lily or Marlene to get me to talk about them.

When the meal was over, Maddox headed down to the library and I made my way to the line of older kids in the hallway, each of them itching to leave. The process took a while, waiting for every person to sign their name and disappear through the doors. The moment my name was signed, I left. Most of the kids stayed near, heading for the muggle clothing shops, record stores and cinemas near the orphanage. I headed straight for the Underground, and people watched until I reached the familiar street of Charing Cross Road. I did my best to mix in between the groups of muggles, passing myself off as one of them. It was interesting to see the groups of people, huddling in and out of the shops, completely unaware that just a few streets back an entire world existed without their knowledge.

The muggles walked right pass the leaky cauldron, seeing only a broken down, closed shop. I hovered by the door, waiting until no one was looking before I entered, content with the fact that if anyone _did_ see me, they'd simply think I was a muggle kid off looking for trouble.

The pub was decently crowded for a Monday morning, filled with all different kinds of witches and wizards, each more eccentric than the last.

The familiar barmen, Tom, was behind the counter, serving drinks to a pair of heavily dressed wizards, and raised a hand in greeting.

"Meadowes, right?" he remembered, pointing jovially at me. "Just passing through or would you like a drink?"

I felt an instant relief at being back in a place of magic and wonder again. "Just passing through. Maybe later?"

"Alrighty. See you then!"

I made my way out of the pub and to the courtyard in back, taking out my wand and tapping the bricks in the right sequence. I couldn't hide the feeling of pure joy that erupted through me as the archway formed and the alley appeared.

It was like being at Hogwarts again. The relief was so instantaneous, it was almost palpable, like I had just accidently walked through Nearly Headless Nick. Diagon Alley was brimming with shops and spells. You couldn't turn a corner without bumping into some kind of magic. It felt like coming _home._

It wasn't particularly crowded today. It didn't get crowded in Diagon Alley until later in the summer. In the weeks before Hogwarts, it was so crowded with people you could hardly move without running into ten people you knew.

As I walked down the quiet streets, I stopped, my eyes narrowing at the alley's newest additions. Every ten feet or so stood the fliers. The green posters attached to cauldrons, all proudly announcing You-Know-Who's meeting. They were just as ugly and terrifying as the prophet had said. It was a whole new kind of terror seeing them in person. This meeting was real. People were going to go and hear the 'terrors' of associating with Muggleborns. It was going to bring people to his side. Encourage people to kill. Like Aubleus had.

I stopped at the closest one and tried to rip it down, frantically scratching at it with my nails. It didn't matter that I read in the prophet that trained aurors and ministry officials hadn't been able to remove the permanent sticking charm, and that I couldn't even use magic. The signs were despicable. Heinous. I couldn't just walk _past_ them.

It didn't matter how much I clawed at them, the parchment didn't do as much as shred. Frustrated I gave the pewter a heavy kick. "Stupid! Bigoted! Ugly! Ignorant! Gits!" I huffed.

"It's no use, my child," a voice said behind me, as a silver haired, old wizard poked his head through the shop door. It took me a second to realize it was the Wand-maker, Garrick Ollivander, and that I was kicking the cauldron fastened to his shop.

"Save yourself the time. I have already tried everything, muggle and magical," he said softly. "they simply will not budge."

"I had to try, at least," I said miserably, wiping the sweat from my brow and ignoring the throbbing in my foot. "Sorry for making such a ruckus outside of your shop, Mr. Ollivander."

Mr. Ollivander offered me a kind smile and shook his head. "Do not apologize, Ms. Meadowes. It is unnecessary. Tell me? How is your wand treating you? 11 and a half inches of vine wood with a….unicorn tale core, yes? Strong-willed, excellent for _defensive_ magic."

I was always in awe of Mr. Ollivander's ability to recall every wand he ever sold and to who. Five years had done nothing to dilute his knowledge of every facet of my wand. I carefully slipped it out of my pocket and placed it in his out-stretched hands.

"It's served me very well. I wish I could _use_ it before September."

Mr. Ollivander smiled as he weighed the wand in his outstretched hand. "Very soon, you will have no restrictions," he told me wisely. "And then you will be old like me and look back at the times when you were young."

He handed me back the wand and smiled. "I see it respects you. I hope that bond remains."

Mr. Ollivander smiled once more and then darted back into his shop, leaving me in the street, scowling at the poster again. I turned away from it, determined not to let it put any more of a damper on the day.

I spent the morning drifting in and out of various shops, enjoying myself immensely. Eyelops Owl Emporium had just had a hatching and the shop was filled floor to ceiling full of the most beautiful baby owls I had ever seen, that made me wish desperately I had somewhere to keep an Owl.

I spent at least an hour alone in Quality Quidditch Supplies, scanning the entire store item by item, feeling the familiar twinge of excitement at the idea of a new Quidditch season at Hogwarts. The Gryffindor team hadn't done as well as usual this year, despite having some really incredible players, and it made me wonder what next year would be like. After spending the better part of the hour convincing myself I had no need for a brand-new Comet '77 broom, I left the shop with a small Puddlemore United pin for my robes. It looked just like the one my father used to pin to his when he took me to the matches. My heart ached as I thought of where _that_ one was. I had pinned it to his robes they day he was buried. The grief felt like a twist of the knife in my chest. It was strange how quickly the feeling of loss and hopelessness could slip up on me when my parents flooded into my mind. It was always like that in the summer. It was hard to forget how much I missed them when every single minute I spent at the orphanage was a constant painful reminder.

My parents were all I thought about as I continued to walk alone through the streets of Diagon Alley. How much I missed them, if they would like who I had become. I drifted in and out of stores remembering every time I had been there with them. The times my mother had sat in the corner of Flourish and Botts with me, telling me about magical creatures and plants. Or when my father had sat me on his shoulders so I could almost touch the chandeliers adorning the Gringott's entrance. There was hardly a spot in the entire alley that didn't remind me of them, or that they were gone.

I decided to face one of the more painful places head on. Madam Malkins dress shop brought a fresh twinge of grief every time I entered it. My mother had worked for them part time, tailoring dress robes in our living room. She had liked to keep her hands busy. My childhood was full of trips with her, watching as she levitated huge baskets of robes in and out of the door.

Normally, I'd have probably avoided the place altogether, but I was in desperate need of a few new uniform skirts for next year and had decided I couldn't go wrong with another set of school robes, so I plucked up my courage and pushed through the door.

There were a few other witches in the store, rifling through dress robes and winter coats, or trying on their new hat collections. Several of the shop girls fluttered about in their matching purple robes, taking measurement's or pulling garments. I barely noticed them as I made my way over to the section of the store designated for Hogwarts' garments and refiled through the skirts.

"Violet, do you mind grabbing me a set of these robes in aquamarine?" a blonde, shop girl called loudly, clutching a particularly frilly set of dress robes.

"Aquamarine?" another voice called in confusion as a woman emerged from the back room, a vase of flowers perched in her hand. "Have you taken a confundous charm to the head, Stella? We don't make _those_ in aquamarine."

The woman speaking was older than the one she spoke too, in her forties maybe, but her voice didn't seem to match it. It sounded extremely familiar, though I couldn't quite place it. I searched her face for any sign of recognition.

Her hair was red and short, with matching fringe that fell into her violet colored irises. They were so distinct I swore I had seen them before. I just couldn't remember where. A large red scar cut across one of them, marring the entire left side of her face. The moment my eyes fell upon it, I wanted to turn around so she wouldn't think I was staring.

The woman's eyes fell on me before I got the chance. The moment they had, her entire face went stark white. Her strange purple eyes locked directly on mine, and the vase of flowers in her hand went crashing to the ground, shattering into a thousand crystal pieces.

That was odd. Even for Diagon Alley. I turned around to make sure You-Know-Who himself wasn't standing behind me. Or at least _something_ that would merit that kind of reaction.

" _Violet?"_ the other shop girl called quickly. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

Violet, didn't answer. She only continued to stare at me, her mouth falling open as she did. Her cheeks turning pink as her bottom lip began to quiver.

"I have to go," she said quickly, leaving the shattered vase and heading for the door. I noticed her wand was drawn.

What could she possibly be running from? What had made her look so scared?

" _Violet!"_ Stella called loudly, as she ignored her. "You can't leave me here all alone. _You're only halfway through your shift!_ "

Violet didn't seem to care, scurrying through the door as if her life depended on it. She had fled the moment she had seen _me,_ strange as it seemed.

I could swear I knew her from somewhere, even though I couldn't quite place it. And that look she had given me? Surely, she had to have known me too. And for whatever reason, knowing me had made her run. For one quick brief moment, a thought popped into my head. Aubleus. Maybe she knew my uncle. Maybe it wasn't fear I was seeing. Maybe it was _interest_. She could be running to him right now.

I dropped the skirt I was holding back on the pile and headed for the door, almost tripping over Stella as I followed after Violet. For a quick frantic moment, I had thought I had missed her.\, scanning the alley with frustration. I only saw one swish of a purple cloak and a bit of red hair as it disappeared around one of the corners of the street. I traipsed after it, wand drawn and stopped when I saw the alley she had disappeared down was Knockturn Alley.

A striking bit of fear coursed through me as I realized that I might be right. Knockturn Alley was full of dark witches and wizards. The perfect place for someone who knew Aubleus to hide. How badly did I want to find out about this Violet woman? Enough to head down into an alley known for housing dark magical objects and the people who frequent them? Without the ability to defend myself? Sure, I had my wand, but in the summer, it was little more than useless.

I knew it was a stupid idea to follow after her. Reckless and thoughtless. I shuddered at the thought of what Professor Dumbledore would say if he even saw me considering it. Or Hagrid. I knew following after a random, potentially dark, witch into Knockturn Alley was essentially spitting in the face of everyone who had trusted me to come here today, but I couldn't shake the feeling that is was more harmful to let her get away. What if I was right? Did I really want my parent's murderer knowing exactly where I was?

 _Maybe I am mad_ , I thought as I quietly crept down the wooden stairs towards Knockturn Alley, my curiosity winning out. I couldn't help but wish that I had one of James' invisibility cloaks right about now. The ability to move around unseen might help with what I was about to do.

I had barely crept halfway down the stairs when, a pale manicured hand reached out from one of the alcoves and gripped my upper arm.

"Are you mad?" Violet asked shrilly, the fury in her face illuminated as she emerged from the shadows, still gripping my arm. "Coming into _Knockturn Alley?_ _Alone?_ And with a last name like _yours?"_

Her voice was dripping with fury and accusation, but the content stopped me cold. It sounded like she was… _concerned._ Not the tone of someone who wanted me dead.

My eyes narrowed. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?" I pressed, my confusion growing faster than my irritation. "A name like _mine?_ "

I knew I was pushing my luck. She may look familiar, but Violet was a stranger. One who had run from me, cornered me, and could use magic when I couldn't. I could end up with crucio'ed or dead, even. Maybe Lily had been right last year. Maybe I was becoming reckless.

Violet's purple eyes flickered. "Are you or are you not, Dorcas Meadowes?"

So, she did know who I was. I blinked slowly as she raised and thin red eyebrow waiting for answer. I bit my lip nervously as I ran the options over in my head. I had to rely on my gut. I didn't know whether or not Violet was working for the other side. Aubleus' side. I had no choice but to hope she wasn't.

"It's _Doe_ Meadowes," I corrected. "I don't go by Dorcas."

A small corner of Violet's mouth seemed to turn upwards, like she was fighting the urge to smile. She released my arm from her grasp and pursed her lips.

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised you don't want to carry _that_ name around. Not with the other which who owns it."

I had to stop my mouth from falling open at her words. How could she possibly know who I was named after?

"How do you know me?" I pressed, my eyes boring into her face. "Who are _you?_ "

Violet crossed her arms shifting, so she could look at me more carefully. The longer I looked at her, the more I had realized I had aged her too swiftly. The massive scar on her face hid her youth. She couldn't have been older than her late thirties.

"You look _so_ much like her," Violet whispered quietly, surveying me with what looked like a bit mixture of curiosity and horror. "I could have picked you out of a line-up. Of course, it helps that you act like her too. Charging after me like that. She was just as reckless. It's like looking at her _ghost._ "

She didn't have to say any more for me to understand, or to trust her. I had been told over and over again since the moment I was old enough to understand that I looked exactly like her. As if I couldn't see that every time I looked in the mirror. It was a blessing and a curse to carry around her face almost exactly. I would never forget her, and never be without the grief. I had been wrong about which Greengrass it was that Violet had known. It wasn't Aubleus. It was Aurelia.

"You knew my mother."

Violet opened her mouth, and stopped when she saw someone in a thick dark cloak emerging from Knockturn Alley, their head down to avoid detection.

"Neither of us should be here," Violet said curtly, her face white with fear. She cast a quick look at the approaching cloaked person and shuddered "Come on."

She placed a firm hand on my shoulder, moving me forward and back towards Diagon Alley. My heart was racing as we moved. Violet had known my mother. Well enough to have known she was reckless. What else did she know? Had she known Aubleus too? Could she give me information that would help me find him?

By the time the cloaked person had caught up with us, they had disapparrated with a loud snap, and Violet looked relieved. She took a deep breath as she turned back to me.

"Are you going to tell me how you know my mother?" I asked her, crossing my arms. "Or why the mere _sight_ of me made you run from Madam Malkins?"

My patience with Violet was growing thin. If she knew my mother, I had a right to know how. Especially if it was something that made her run from me. Her demeanor was strange. She didn't seem at all like a grown woman. She was twitchier, like a child. Younger than me, even.

Violet's face changed quickly. "Do you want to get something to drink?" she asked, nodding in the direction of the Leaky Cauldron.

I raised an eyebrow. "Not unless it's Veritaserum," I told her flatly. I wanted my questions answered.

Violet rolled her eyes. " _Funny."_ And she pushed past me, heading for the pub, her heeled boots clicking on the cobblestone street as she did. I didn't move, more concerned and curious than I had been before.

"Are you coming or not?" Violet asked, stopping at the door to the pub. "I haven't got all day, you know."

I begrudgingly moved towards the door, deciding it was worth the risk. It wasn't as if Violet would murder me in front of the entire pub. At least this way I might get some answers.

Violet offered me a cocky smile as I moved past her into the pub, and headed for an empty, well-lit table in the middle of the room. The pub was more crowded then it had been earlier.

 _Good_ , I thought as I took a seat and let my wand slip through my fingers, _more witnesses._

Violet sat down in front of me and shook the fringe out of her eyes. Her scar was much more noticeable now. It seemed to start at the top of her scalp and go diagonally across her face in a crude, rough shape. It had not been a clean cut. I wondered how she had ended up with something like that. She leaned back in her chair, watching me carefully as the waiter came by.

"Drinks?" he asked unenthusiastically.

"I'll take a glass of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey," Violet told him.

"And for you?"

"A glass of Pumpkin Juice."

The waiter nodded and disappeared back behind the bar with Tom.

"You aren't Seventeen yet?" Violet asked, looking surprised. "I would of thought you'd be of age by now."

It felt like my eyes were boring into hers. So, she knew my name and who my mother was. Who I was named after, but not how old I was?

"Next year," I said quietly.

Violet leaned back against her chair, resting her hand against her face. "So, I suppose you have questions?"

"One or two."

Violet shook her head. "You even _sound_ like her, you know. It's uncanny. She had the same spirit in her voice."

I felt a strange sense of irritation flare up inside of me. "Yeah, I know, I met her," I said cruelly.

This woman was acting like I had never met my mother. Like I hadn't known her. I had been eleven when she died. I _knew_ her. I missed her and my father every day.

Violet pursed her lips. "You don't have to be surly about it. I'll answer whatever questions you have."

At least she was being forthcoming about it. Our drinks were now levitating in the air beside our table. I took my glass of pumpkin juice with both hands.

"I'm sorry," I told her quietly, not looking up from the glass. "It's a bit of a sensitive subject for me."

"I can imagine. It is for me too. I was quite fond of you parents. Your mother especially."

I looked back up her, even more confused than I had been before. "How did you know her?" I asked.

Violet sighed, and took a sip from her glass. Even from here, the smell of the firewhiskey made my throat sticky, remembering the burn it gave.

"I was your mother's best friend at Hogwarts," she said quietly, avoiding my gaze. "Well for the last few years anyway. We worked together at Madam Malkin's together. I was even at her wedding."

That's where I remembered her from. She had been in one of my mother's wedding photos. Their wedding had been intimate. Just them and a few friends. That's where I had seen Violet before. Though there had been no scar on her face then.

"I remember you from the photos," I said quietly. Violet nodded, tracing her bright blue nails on the wooden table in front of her. "That was a nice day."

"How come I never met you before then?" I asked her, leaning forward quickly. "Why in eleven years, why did you never come around? Why did my parents never even _mention_ you?"

The questions were eating away at my brain. I knew my family had secrets. You couldn't have a family like my mother had had and not. But it seemed strange that Violet had never once come up.

"That would be my fault," she said morosely, draining the contents of her glass in one quick sip. She didn't flinch as she did. Her eyes had suddenly become very hard. "We had…a falling out, I suppose. I quit Madam Malkin's and we never spoke to each other again. I only knew she had you from her death announcement in the prophet."

It was clear from the way that Violet spoke about the whole ordeal that she was glossing over some details. She looked withdrawn, avoiding my gaze as she unconsciously stroked the corner of her scar.

"What did you have a falling out, over?" I asked, knowing I might be prying, but I couldn't stop myself from asking. There was too much mystery surrounding my family already. If I could shine a light on some of it, I wanted too.

"I'm a muggleborn," Violet told me flatly. "The only one in our year in Slytherin. It's really rare to be both. The Sorting Hat doesn't do that very often. It tries to avoid the conflict if it can. Because really, what kind of life can a Muggleborn have in Slytherin, you know?"

"Not an easy one, I'm guessing."

I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be surrounded by a house full of people who couldn't stand you. Who wanted you dead. And twenty years ago, it had to be even worse.

"No, not an easy one," Violet said with a sigh. "Your mother was a strange Slytherin too. She was a free-spirit. Radical, even. And when she was a sixth year, she became even more so."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that she started to say things, and do things. Things Pureblood Slytherins weren't allowed to do or day. Things that upset a lot of powerful, well-connected people in this world, and her family take well to it. Her brothers were few years older than us. I remembered the way they used to look at people like me. I knew what they were capable of."

Murder. That's what they were capable of. It was terrifying to know that Aubleus had been this way forever. From the way Violet spoke about it, he was just as evil as I had always imagined.

Violet shuddered again. "You have to understand. People like her didn't do things like that. She was outspoken. Fearlessly so. She befriended Muggleborns like me. Even fancied one."

"My father," I whispered.

Violet nodded. "He was handsome. Head Boy, Quidditch Player. Nice. Older too. That was all she cared about. His blood-status didn't matter to her, but I begged her to wait to approach him. Not at school, I told her. Even then, I knew what her brothers were capable of. I knew what would happen if she went after your dad. What they would do to her. So, she listened and she waited. Waited until we all left school and she ran into him at Madam Malkins."

Violet's eyes had begun to fill with tears now. She reached for a napkin and dabbed at the quickly.

I moved my hand from my mouth as I blinked quickly. "I still don't understand why you two stopped speaking," I said. "It seems like you helped her."

"I couldn't help her," Violet said shaking her head. "No one could help her after she decided it was your dad she wanted more than anything else. Your mother had been disowned when she told her parents that she was marrying your father. It angered them. On the night of your parents wedding, Aubleus came looking for them. He found me instead. He made it very clear that I was to stay away from her."

Violet reached out to touch the scar that marred her face. "The blade of the knife made it _very_ clear."

My jaw slipped open in surprise. " _He_ did that to you?" My voice rose with anger.

She nodded. "He then told me to tell Aurelia that if she didn't leave her husband, that they would both suffer worse. I found them days later, and told her what happened. We fought when I told her I couldn't ever speak to her again. She wanted me to be brave. To not abandon our friendship, and I was too scared. That's why we never spoke again. Why you never heard of me until today."

Violet still wasn't looking at me. She was staring at the floor now. "Did you see those posters?" she asked evenly, going off topic. "I suppose you couldn't _not_ see them, right? Plastered all over the place. It really makes you realize how bad this all getting. At twenty, if I had known all of _this_ was coming, I'd have fled to America."

There was a heavily cloaked figure sitting alone, to Violet's left and for a moment I thought they might be eavesdropping, but Violet let out a small sob that turned me back to her.

There was pain in her voice as she spoke about blood-status. The way Lily and Mary did. It was affecting her. It distracted me momentarily from the questions that were itching to climb out of my mouth.

Violet turned back to me. "I suppose having your mum and dad die the way they did, means the blood-status issue must hit particularly close to home for you, huh?"

I took another sip of Pumpkin Juice to avoid her penetrating gaze. "If that's your way of asking me what side of this I'm on, let me be clear, I think Blood-Status is a ridiculous. No one kind of witch or wizard is better than another, and anyone who thinks differently is an elitist git."

"That's something your mother would say," Violet lamented. "She was brave. A brave Slytherin. I wasn't. I was afraid of your uncle. Rightly so, I think. He made good on his promise, didn't he?"

I nodded, frozen with feeling. He made good on it. He murdered my mother and father, and destroyed my life with one flick of his wand. Something it seemed he been planning to do for years, it seems.

It seemed to never stop, the end of Aubleus' rage. Marring Violet, killing my parents. His list of atrocities was catching up to You-Know-Who's. It felt like my blood had begun to boil. I could hardly control the hate I felt for Aubleus from raging through me.

"Why did he wait?" I asked aloud. "It's sounds like he planned on kill them as soon as he found them? Why wait eleven years to do it?"

"That I don't know," Violet said, sighing. "I always thought he had bigger fish to fry. That Aurelia kept her head down and he changed his mind. I don't how I could have been so stupid."

"It wasn't stupid," I said, shaking my head. "My mum and dad clearly thought the same. Otherwise they would have left. They wouldn't have sat around and waited to die."

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. I didn't want to do that here. Not now in front of someone who was practically a stranger. Violet noticed my expression and reached out, placing her hand kindly on my arm. It was a comforting gesture. One I would have employed myself. It made me trust her more.

"I'm sorry it's not a happier story," she said after a minute of silence. "But whose is nowadays? Things are only getting worse."

"I'm sorry for being rude to you earlier," I sputtered quickly, still trying to squash all of the emotions that were raging around inside me. "I thought you might know Aubleus or something. I had no idea."

She shook her head. "You don't have to apologize, Doe. In your position, I wouldn't trust anyone. Not after what you've dealt with."

"Still," I pressed. "I am sorry."

The waiter came back and refilled our glasses, and neither of us said anything. I was still trying to process all the information that was spilling out through my head.

"It really is strange to meet you," Violet said as she sipped her second glass of Firewhiskey. "Its like a reminder of mortality. I never thought I'd be sitting across from Aurelia's adult daughter in a world she didn't exist anymore."

"Because it shouldn't have happened," I told her firmly. "My parents are just one of the first victims in this war on blood-status. They'll be more. Especially if people choose the wrong side. And those posters in the Alley? They're not exactly assuaging anyone, are they? People have to fight You-Know-Who. Not join his ranks."

"No, they're not," Violet said. "You know I used to work at Twilfitt and Tattings. They fired a month ago when the posters went up. Claimed it was too upscale of a shop to have a _Mudblood_ working there. Didn't want to turn off the right people."

"That's disgusting," I whispered shaking my head.

"That's the world we live in now, kid. This is _your_ generation's war."

I took a heavy sip or my Pumpkin Juice knowing how right Violet was. It may have begun a long time ago, but this war was building now. We were the ones who were going to have to fight it.

"So, are you a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw?" Violet asked, taking another hearty sip. "My guess is Ravenclaw. You don't seem like a Slytherin, but who does really? I don't. Unless… _Merlin_ don't tell me, you go to Beauxbatons? Ugh. Your mother would roll over in her grave."

"There's no place better than Hogwarts," I smiled shaking my head, "I'm a Gryffindor, through and through." I realized this was the second time today I had said this and my heart longed to be back at the castle. None of this felt real there. I didn't worry about being murdered there.

"Gryffindor?" Violet asked raising one eyebrow. "That's...Interesting. Not altogether surprising, but interesting."

The clock on the wall of the pub clicked nosily to signify the hour and I sighed. I had to be back to the orphanage soon.

"I have to go," I told Violet, leaving four sickles on the table, as I slipped my wand back into my pocket. Violet almost looked a little crestfallen, the wrinkles in her forehead looking more pronounced.

"Do you have to be home?" she asked inquisitively.

I snorted. "I don't know about _home_ , but the orphanage does have strict rules about being back before dark."

"The orphanage?" Violet repeated, shocked. "You live in an orphanage."

"Every summer."

Violet looked absolutely floored. She placed her wand on the table and leaned all the way back in her chair. "I'm sorry about that."

I shrugged. "It's fine, really. I manage."

"Well if you ever need anything," Violet started, for the first time looking her age. Wise, like a mother. "Or you'd like someone to talk too. You know where to find me. I reckon it might be nice to get to know you. I think I owe your mum that much."

She paused waiting for my answer. Her strangely, purple eyes lingering on my face. It was a strange sensation I felt. I didn't have any family. I had friends, and mentors. Professor McGonagall and Hagrid were the closest things I had to parental figures and they're was a sense of decorum I had to present in front of them.

I was guarded. Being an orphan had made me already inherently distrusting. And after what had happened this year with Sirius, I wasn't getting any better at changing it. What Violet was offering was an opportunity to have someone else I cared about, someone who knew my parents well.

"Thank you," I said softly. "I think I'd like that."

Violet smiled. "Good. I'm glad."

I offered her a smile and headed out of the pub, straight back into the muggle world, my head ringing full of fresh wizard history I wasn't sure if I wanted to know.  
* * *

* * *

The next five weeks passed quickly. Quicker than I could have ever expected, and much faster than any other summer I had spent at Wools. I knew I had Diagon Alley to thank for that. I spent every single day that I could there. I had to spend a few days here and there at muggle shops, buying clothes and other odds and ends like journals or records. The other kids at the orphanage would get suspicious if I didn't, and the last thing I needed was one of them following me to the Leaky Cauldron. The bags helped too. I could use them to hide the purchases I made at Flourish and Botts or Madam Malkins. I learned very quickly to be sparring with my money, knowing I didn't have any parents to look over my shoulder and budget. I only splurged on a new pair of short, black dragon hide boots before I became very frugal. It didn't matter how much gold I had left in my Gringott's vault, I still had two years left at Hogwarts, and all the expenses that came with it.

It didn't end up mattering much. There was so much do and look at in Diagon Alley I developed a routine that kept me very busy. After our strange and enlightening conversation at the Leaky Cauldron, Violet and I began to talk more, getting to know each other bit. Sometimes we'd sit and have a drink or I'd hang out with her in Madam Malkins while she worked. She'd tell me stories about my parents when they were young, and I would fill her in on the years she missed and my life at Hogwarts. It was comforting to talk to her, like being with an Aunt or a family friend.

The first week of summer, I also rented a cubby at the Post Office, so I could send and receive letters from my friends. Lily was a prolific writer and I got letters back from here every other day. Mary was good too, averaging about two a week. It was Marlene who was dreadful about it. For someone who was so fun to be around, her letters were short and lackluster, but she did promise to fill me in on every detail of her summer the moment she saw me. I missed my friends desperately. They were the only things I missed more than magic. It was inarguably the worst part of summer.

I spent most mornings sitting at the counter of the Leaky Cauldron reading and answering their letters, or skimming through the Daily Prophet. It was a relief to finally be able to know what was going on in the Wizarding World during the summer, even if every article was dark and terrifying.

Occasionally, I'd run into someone I knew from school and exchange a polite hello or stop for a chat. I ran into a very twitchy, Caradoc Dearborn in Flourish Botts and once had to dive out of Quality Quidditch Supplies to avoid an uncomfortable run in with Odie Macmillan, who I hadn't spoken too since I had turned him down in Herbology.

One person I did enjoy running into was Alice. She spent a few days a week helping her uncle Florean out at his Ice Cream shop, and the two of us would chat sometimes while she worked.

On one particularly crowded Friday morning, I left the Post Office with a heavy stack of letters and a copy of today's prophet. I had one from Marlene, Mary, Lily, Hagrid and strangely one that's return address was the Ministry of Magic.

I flipped through the stack of them as I walked, excited to spend the rest of the morning absorbed in the lives of people I cared about. I was so distracted with excitement I didn't notice the people who stood in front of me.

"Well aren't I the luckiest man in all of London?" a thick, drawling voice called out in front of me. "Nice to see you, Pet."

I didn't have to look up. I knew exactly who it was from the shiver that ran down my spine at the sound of his voice.

Rabastan Lestrange stood in front of me, a terrifying excitement glimmering in his eyes. He looked just as pompous and over-confident as he did at Hogwarts. Though he seemed a bit more uptight than usual. He had a thick green cloak draped over his shoulders, and his normally loose dark hair, was slicked back on his head with some kind of gel. There was a man beside him. One who looked quite a bit like him, though his hair was longer, and he was staring at me with much more hatred than Rabastan did.

Rabastan didn't seem to be acknowledging his companion. He was too busy grinning at me like I was prized stallion.. He was like a horrible nightmare I couldn't wake up from. I didn't even know what to say as the metallic taste of hate filled my mouth. I thought it would be at least another month before I'd have to see him again.

 _"_ _You."_

Rabastan smiled wider. "Speechless, are you? That's a first. Though I suppose it is about time I took your breath away, Doe."

My wand suddenly felt like it weighed a thousand pounds in my pocket. Every inch of me wanted to take it out, but I knew there was no point. I couldn't use it and Rabastan knew it. I was suddenly aware of what a terrible position I was in. Rabastan was of age. He _could_ use magic.

"Hardly," I sniffed haughtily. "You've just ruined my day is all."

His companion let out an irritated sigh, and for a moment Rabastan's eyes flickered back to him, looking slightly nervous.

Rabastan chuckled. "Is that so? Well, I bet you and I in one of the rooms upstairs in the Leaky Cauldron could fix _all of that_."

" _Rabastan!_ " his companion hissed. "Have you no _shame?_ " It was a warning to him, and Rabastan seemed to head it slightly, tensing up as his gaze flicked back to me.

I had to resist the urge to vomit, and let out a cold laugh instead. "Not even if you _Imperius_ 'ed me, Rabastan."

Rabastan didn't hesitate. "That can always be arranged, Doe."

There wasn't a touch of joke to his tone now. It was a threat. He was letting me know he was not above using unforgivable curses. The thought that made my blood run cold, and he noticed.

"Have you quite finished making a fool of yourself, Rabastan?" the man beside him hissed. He looked furious, embarrassed even by Rabastan's actions.

Rabastan noticed, his cheeks turning a bit pink as he narrowed his eyes at the older wizard.

"Seems your boyfriends a bit unhappy with you," I chuckled, deriving great pleasure from seeing Rabastan squirm. I never to see him uncomfortable. It was a nice change of pace.

The older wizard's wand slipped into his hand. "I would watch your mouth if I were you, _Half-blood_."

"Or what?" I asked cockily. "You're going to do me in. In the middle of Diagon Alley?"

Even wandless, I knew he would never. No one that was brazen. There were at least twenty other witches and wizards within spitting distance.

"Keep talking, it's becoming a greater possibility."

"Rodolphus, not here." Rabastan warned quickly. "Not now."

So, he was his brother. Rodolphus Lestrange. I could see the familial traits now. The piercing green eyes, and the look of arrogance etched into his features.

I didn't know much about him besides what Sirius had told me, that he was always chasing after Bellatrix Black. That was enough to tell me he wasn't the sort of person I wanted to mix with. From what I'd heard, Rabastan was the _tamest_ of his family. That alone, made me want to stay a good distance away from Rodolphus Lestrange.

Rodolphus kept his wand in his hand looking at me with a look of pure loathing. "When you've finished embarrassing yourself, Rabastan. I'll be in Knockturn Alley." He cast one final look at in my direction and then disappeared around the corner, leaving Rabastan and I alone.

Somehow, that was worse. I never liked to be alone with Rabastan.

"You've got quite an ability to piss off the wrong people, Pet," Rabastan said, a dark grimace on his face. 'It's a mighty good thing you look the way you _do._ "

Trying to hide how physically uncomfortable I was, I tried to push past him towards the Leaky Cauldron. Rabastan stopped me, grabbing me by my upper arm and yanking me back.

"Let go _of_ me," I hissed, through bare teeth, reaching for my wand. Rabastan only chuckled.

"What? Are you going to break the underage wizards use of magic statue on _me?_ "

My upper lip curled. "If you make me."

Rabastan dropped his grip on me immediately. "Well then, I'll stop. Nothing would make me unhappier then to deny myself another entire year of having _you_ in the castle with me."

I shuddered. "You're repulsive."

"And you look absolutely delicious today, Pet. Truly. Are you doing something different with your hair?"

"Eat a wand, Rabastan."

Holding my wand, carefully, I shoved past him, heading for the safety of the Leaky Cauldron. I would feel much better when I put at least ten more wands between him and I.

"See you at Hogwarts, then!" he called loudly, chuckling as I disappeared into the pub.

I was still shivering from discomfort when I took my usual seat at the counter. Rabastan had an unparalleled skill of disgusting me beyond comprehension. I took a few minutes to shake the feeling off of me, ordering a pumpkin juice and putting my mail down on the counter.

I tried to distract myself from thinking about Rabastan, and what he was doing in Knockturn Alley of all places, by reading the prophet. The front page was covered with a story about a muggleborn family who was murdered by Death Eaters in Nottingham. It made me queasy just reading it and I took a deep sip of Pumpkin Juice to calm my nerves.

"Here," Tom, the barman, said placing a slice of fruitcake on a napkin in front of me as he offered me a smile. "I never you see you eat anything. You're going to waste away, and then Hagrid will be on my case about it."

I offered him a grateful smile. "Thanks Tom. You wouldn't believe the rubbish they serve at the orphanage."

"I'll bet," he said shaking his head, and smiling as I took a hearty bite of the cake. "Still doesn't make pumpkin juice and sugar quills a proper meal."

"A tasty one, though."

Tom chuckled as he flicked his wand and a broom began to magically sweep the floor behind him.

"Are you sure that you don't mind that I sit here and read every day?" I asked him as he begun to enchant the bar glasses to reorganize themselves. "I feel guilty constantly commandeering on of your stools."

Tom shook his head. "Nah. I like the company," he said honestly. "And you're helping me get rid of the crate of Pumpkin Juice I have in the back. We don't get a lot of Hogwarts students in here until late August."

"Glad to be of service then," I chuckled, glancing at the stack of letters on the table in front of me. The one from the Ministry of Magic, where my name was sprawled in a messy handwriting, peaked my interest slightly. I'd never received letters from the ministry. I decided I'd open it after I finished the prophet. Tom was reading a copy too, shaking his head after every line. I flipped the page, hoping something cheerier would be on the next page. I lifted my glass of pumpkin juice as I did, reading the headline on the second page;

 _WANTED MURDER SUSPECT, AUBLEUS GREENGRASS, SPOTTED IN LONDON._

Every inch of my body froze in my seat, like I had been hit with a body-bind jinx. A surge of fear rippled through me so intensely it made Rabastan seem like a distant memory.

Aubleus was spotted. Here. My parent's murdered could be only minutes from me. I felt like I was going to faint. My fingers were shaking so badly I had difficulty even holding up the paper to read the article.

It was short. Simple. It repeated the crimes he was wanted for. The details of my parent's murder, and that he was wanted for questioning at the Ministry, all under a small black and white photo of him.

He had been spotted the night before by an elderly witch in London, before he dissaparrated. The last line urged people to be careful and keep their eyes open. That was it.

I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I could barely breathe. All I could feel was fear. The kind of intense, immobilizing fear that fastened me to the stool like I was stuck to it. I was frozen with fear.

Tom had flipped to the second page of his newspaper now. His eyes gliding through the article on Aubleus and widening as he read it. They immediately flashed back up to me, wide and panicked. Concerned.

"Merlin," he whispered frantically, "isn't that?…" He trailed off, staring at me the way Violet had when I'd met her.

My mouth unfroze first as I swallowed heavily, unsure if I even could speak. "The man who killed my parents," I finished for him.

Tom let out a whistle of pity and I placed my shaking hands on the counter. I didn't know what to do. What I _could_ do.

Aubleus was in London. Here. What were the chances? Of all the places, he could hide. Had he come to do what I had had always feared? Finish off the rest of the Meadowes' clan? I didn't see an alternative.

I ran my hands through my hair desperate to stop them from shaking as I tried to figure out what to do. People knew I lived in an orphanage. People like Rabastan and Narcissa. People who surely spread it around the Pureblood community. If Aubleus wanted to find me, it would only be _too_ easy. How many orphanages were there in London? Six. maybe? He'd find me the end of the week.

I wished I was at Hogwarts. Where I could use magic. Where there were defenses. I always felt safe there. I wanted to be _home._

I realized I didn't have much of a choice in this situation. I had to go back to Wool's. I had nowhere else to go. I wasn't going to endanger anyone else. Professor Dumbledore had made it very clear that Wool's was where I was supposed to stay.

Tom was still looking at me with a pitiful, pathetic look. I dropped a few sickles on the counter and scooped up my letters and the prophet into my backpack, leaving the pub without another word. If I wanted to stay undetected, I should avoid Wizarding locations for a while. Even if the thought of spending the rest of the summer at Wool's made my stomach turn. It was better than being dead.

I had to fight tears as I made my way back to the orphanage, doing my best not to think about Aubleus or what he was doing here.

It was still early when I got back to Wool's, and the girls bedroom was empty. I kicked off my boots and curled up my bed, trying to distract myself by reading my letters. The ones from my friends and Hagrid were nice distractions. I liked hearing about their summers. When I finally got to the one from the ministry I opened it with shaky fingers. It looked like it had been written quickly, covered in dots of spilled ink that looked strange on official ministry parchment. It read;

 _Ms. Meadowes,_

 _Aubleus Greengrass was spotted in London yesterday evening. The details will be in the Daily Prophet. I want to assure you the situation is being monitored, and if he stays he will be caught by aurors. Please let me know if you need anything, and stay vigilant._

 _\- Mad-Eye Moody_

That was something of a comfort. If Mad-eye Moody was on top of the situation I knew it was being handled. But it didn't do much to assuage my fears. I had a sinking suspicion that if Aubleus wanted me dead. He'd find a way. It was only a matter of time.

* * *

It hadn't even been a full day since the news of Aubleus' reappearance and was already sick of the orphanage. I had decided to be practical, and stay inside of Wool's today. A decision that I regretted almost immediately. I was bored here, and boredom didn't help me distract my mind from Aubleus.

I had had horrible nightmares throughout the entire night. Waking up shaking and screaming so severely, one of the girls had fetched Mrs. Churchmire in the night. After assuring her it was nothing, she went back to bed, and the nightmares continued. They were just as vivid and horrifying as the one's I had at school. Except these felt more real. I saw Aubleus killing my parents. I saw their bodies. I saw Aubleus killing me. All intertwined with happy memories of my family before, the details growing fainter and fainter as I started to forget them. It left me exhausted and scared.

I spent the morning in the library, sitting with Maddox as he read some popular muggle series of books, trying to keep from thinking about the horrors I lived in my dreams that night. Eventually it became too much, and I went back upstairs, sitting on my bed and listening to a record in the record player the girls all shared.

"Why are you _here_?" Helen asked curtly as she pushed past me to grab a jacket from her trunk, looking irritated by my prescense. "You're always gone off somewhere during the day."

I sighed, continuing to stare at the bed across from me. "I felt like staying in," I lied sadly.

"Yeah? Then why do you look so miserable about it?" she pressed rudely, crossing her arms.

I hated lying. I spent too much of time doing it here. About what I was. Where I went all the time. It felt wrong to have to lie about why I didn't leave too. But it wasn't as if I could tell Helen about Aubleus. Even if she wasn't a muggle and I _could_ tell her, I wouldn't. She was the worst kind of person to confide in. Manipulative and cruel. It would be like talking to Narcissa. It made me long for Lily. Or Marlene. Or Mary. Friends.

"I like listening to music alone," I justified, trying to make it sound like the truth. I didn't have the energy to get into a fight with her right now. I had too much to worry about already.

Helen raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Whatever," she said tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Sit around and mope all day. See if I care."

She left the room quickly, as if she couldn't bear to spend another minute in my presences. The song changed on the record and I leaned back to stare up at the ceiling. When the door opened again, I sighed fearing I'd have to have another go at it with her.

'You're Doe, right?" a girl asked as she came in. She was young. Fourteen, maybe. I'd seen her around from time to time. She looked busy, like she was itching to leave.

I leaned back up, slightly curious and nodded. "Yeah I am. Why?"

"There's a man outside looking for you," the girl said quickly, looking back to the hall where her friends were waiting. "He asked me if I'd find you. You have to sign visitors in, you know."

I felt every inch of body fill with fear at her words. "A man?" I asked my hands starting to shake again.

The girl nodded impatiently. "Yes, a man. He's waiting outside." She didn't wait for me to say anything else, and left the room to rejoin the other kids.

I felt like I had been struck in the chest. I knew exactly who was waiting for me out there. It was Aubleus. He had found me, just like I knew he would. He had finally come to kill me. I felt like I was going to wretch.

I only had two choices, I knew that. I could stay up here and hide or I could go out and face him. If I stayed, it would only prolong my death. He'd come and find me, probably killing anyone he crossed path as he did.

If I went, I was going to die. Sure, I had my wand and in life or death situations I could use it, but I knew I was no match for him. A fully trained wizard. A wizard who knew _dark_ arts. A wizard who had no problem using Unforgivable curses, or murdering innocent people.

I moved from the room, knowing I had no choice but to face him. I wouldn't let anyone else die for me. I tried to focus myself as I climbed down the stairs thinking of anything I could use against him. I didn't know how to do an unforgivable, and even if I did, I didn't think I could. It would be too horrible.

Shaking from head to toe, I slipped my wand out of my pocket and into my hand. It felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. There was no one in my path as I made my way to the entrance of the building, carrying my wand. And it didn't matter now if anyone saw me with. Statue of Secrecy be damned, I was about to duel and die on the steps of this orphanage. What would it matter if any of the kids saw me carrying a polished stick? Surely, Aubleus' killing curse is what they would remember even if they did.

I stopped on the checked steps of the front hall, and took a deep breath. The sun was setting and casting an almost impenetrable shine over the area. This was it, I thought. Now or Never.

Gripping my wand tightly, I pushed open the front door to Wool's orphanage, ready to face the person waiting for me.

The sun was almost blinding. It took a second for my eyes to adjust as I stepped out in front of the building and saw only the shape of the man in front of me. His back was too me, but the sound of my approach. He turned and I suck in all my breath, preparing myself for a duel. To see the man who killed my parents.

The sun moved and my eyes adjusted, giving me a clear view of the man in front of me. My jaw fell open in complete and utter shock.

"Sirius?"

He flashed me a cocky grin, looking at me in a way he hadn't done in months. Happy. Thrilled, even.

"Hey, Meadowes," he said confidently. "Nice place you've got here."


	24. Grim Old Place

**Authors Note: Thank you SO much for your recent reviews, you guys! They really keep me going and I love hearing what you guys want to see more of! To those of you wondering. Yes, there will be more Gideon in the future. Very soon actually. And next chapter brings us back to Hogwarts ! Yay! Hope you guys enjoy!**

24

Grim Old Place

I'd never been more relived or furious to see Sirius Black.

I felt relief first. A quick, all-encompassing flood of relief washed over me as I realized I didn't have duel my parent's murderer in front of an orphanage full of muggles. I had been sure it was Aubleus out here waiting for me. I'd spent the entire walk down the stairs preparing myself to kill him or die trying. It was a relief to know I wouldn't be dying today. And for a quick second, before I could rationally stop it, I felt an inexplicable spurt of relief to see Sirius.

But as quickly as the relief had come, it disappeared replaced with fury. I hadn't even considered the possibility that it was anyone other than Aubleus out here. And certainly not _Sirius._

What was he even doing here? I hadn't spoken to him in over a month. And even then, our conversations had been cold and short. I'd had more meaningful conversations with Reggie Cattermole, than I'd had with Sirius in the last three months. Something that was _his_ fault.

And now, he had the audacity to show up _here_? The very place that had caused the rift to begin with? He had some serious explaining to do.

"Why have you got your wand out?" Sirius asked quixotically, an eyebrow raised, as he stared at my right hand. "You're going to _hex me_ , Meadowes? Seems a bit cold, don't you think?"

He looked thrilled at the idea. Humored even. He clearly though I wouldn't do it. He was lucky it was the summer. It was only my desire not to be kicked out Hogwarts that stopped me from hitting him with the strongest stinging jinx I could muster.

"I wasn't expecting _you,_ " I told him through barred teeth. "Why are you here?"

"Because I live in London. Thought I'd finally get around to seeing the sights," he replied cheekily. "Who _were_ you expecting?"

"I didn't mean the city," I said, ignoring his question. "What are you doing _here?_ At _my_ orphanage." I'd never once referred to the orphanage with indignation before. It was strange to hear it come out of my mouth. I gritted my teeth. Why was it that Sirius had the ability to produce such weird reactions from me?

I kept my wand trained at my side. I still had half a mind to use it on him. And even through my anger at Sirius, I knew, Aubleus could still be out here somewhere. It was always better to have your wand ready.

"What? I can't come and visit you, Meadowes?" Sirius asked, false sincerity dripping from his full lips as he smiled. "I heard a rumor that that's what friends do in the summer. But then again, Moony could be filling my head with lies." He flashed me a very wide smile.

" _Friends_ do," I narrowed my eyes. "But we're not friends."

He looked more handsome than usual, as much as I hated to admit it. He was very brown, like he had spent the entire first month of summer in the sun, and he looked taller too. It made him look healthy.

Then again, it might be because this was the first time I'd actually see him look _happy_ in months. Every other time he had looked at me, he had been sneering like a Slytherin, or purposefully ignoring me. I had to fight off the feeling of joy I got when he smiled at me like he was. As mad as I was at him, I couldn't deny how much I missed him in the last few months. Sirius had been one of the few people I felt understood me. I had thought I understood him too.

It made me want to kick him. Probably because I was trying to ignore just _how_ thrilled I was to see him. Denial made me angry.

Sirius continued to grin, ignoring the frown on my face. "You know what, Meadowes? I've been thinking about that quite a bit. This little fight of ours. And you know what? I think it's mad. Why should we waste the time hating each other when we can just be friends again? Wasn't that more _fun?_ "

 _He's so arrogant_ , I thought, crossing my arms in frustration. Did he really think I was going to forget that he had told all of my Hogwarts about my most important secret? Something I trusted him with. Who cares if being friends with him was fun. Who cares if I missed him?

I shook my head. "Nope," I lied poorly. "I _like_ being mad at you."

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me, as a smile stretched across his full lips. "You've always been a bad liar."

His eyes trailed across me. After a minute, he paused. "You look skinny," he said evenly.

I felt a little embarrassed, my cheeks reddening before I could stop them. I _was_ thinner than usual, probably from the lack of edible food at this place. Not that was any of _his_ business. I shifted uncomfortably suddenly acutely aware of how I was dressed. When I'd put on the denim shorts and orange t-shirt this morning I hadn't thought I'd be face to face with Sirius. It wasn't exactly my nicest outfit. I usually like to be dressed better when I was defending myself.  
"So, what?" I demanded crossing my arms in frustration. "Want to pick at anything else about me? I still a few ounces left of self-esteem if you'd like to squash them."

"James is right. You _do_ sound like me, sometimes," Sirius said shaking his head, ignoring that I was now narrowing my eyes at him. "I'm not picking at you, Meadowes. You know you'd be fit no matter what you did. It's just concerning is all."

"You're not allowed to be concerned about me anymore," I reminded him, my voice cracking as I grew more upset. "We're. Not. Friends."

Sirius rolled his eyes, looking decidedly less annoyed then I did. "Haven't we already discussed this, darling? Our fight is over now."

Groups of people were passing by us on the street, and that was the only thing that kept me from lobbing my wand straight at his head.

"How did you even find me?" I demanded, determined to get this over with. "Are you stalking me now? Taking a page out of Rabastan's book?"

"Now I know you're upset, but comparing me to Lestrange? That's just _cruel_ ," said Sirius, a hand dramatically placed over his heart. He waited, and his face lit up with excitement. "I'm dedicated to repairing our friendship, Meadowes," he said seriously. "I went to every orphanage in London and asked for your name."

I snorted. "That's dragon dung, and you and I both know it."

Sirius cracked a smile, that dropped from his face when he realized I wasn't. "Alright, Alright. Stop giving me _that_ look…I did go to _three_ before I got desperate and called Lily. She took pity on me and gave me the name. You should have seen the look on the muggle's face in the train station when they saw me try and use the phone booth _."_ He chuckled.

I crossed my arms in frustration. _Lily_ had told Sirius where to find me? That didn't make any sense. Lily disliked Sirius on a good day. After what he and James had done to Snape that day last year, she hated him. Why would she have helped him?

"In that case, remind me to send Lily a Howler next chance I get."

"Has anyone ever told you that you actually look _fitter_ when you're angry?" Sirius chuckled, lightheartedly, attempting to make me smile. I wasn't going to let it work. I was still too angry.

"I must look downright stunning right now, then," I snapped, avoiding his eyes.

Sirius sighed, "Come on, don't be like that, Meadowes. I had to _beg_ her for the name. She didn't want to give it to me."

I was well aware of the other orphans inside the building behind us, all of their noses pressed against the glass, no doubt spying me and my visitor. It was the only I reason I didn't shove him down the stairs like I wanted too.

"Then, why did she?" I demanded, my voice rising with anger. "Why are you here, _really?_ And don't tell me it's because you missed me, because you were perfectly fine ignoring me for months in the castle, so what's changed?"

Sirius' face softened immediately. His lips pursed, and his eyes became harder. He said nothing and reached into the pocket of his trousers, unearthing a crumpled page of the daily prophet.

" _That_ ," he said firmly, thrusting at me. "Or do you not think your life being in danger changes _anything?_ " He looked certain now. Even more confident than he had been before.

I gave him a dirty look as I uncrumpled the prophet and read it carefully. It was a page ripped from yesterday's prophet. The one with the picture of Aubleus. The one I'd seen yesterday.

I turned back to Sirius with my mouth open.

"You think I could see _that_ and not come and make sure you were okay?" Sirius demanded, before I had the chance to speak. "He killed your parents. He could have come and killed _you._ "

So that's why he had come. Things were starting to make sense now. He had a guilty conscious. He wanted to make sure I wasn't dead.

"You don't think _I_ know that?" I asked him, my voice barely above a whisper now. "Why do you think I came down here with my wand. I thought you were _him._ "

Sirius eye's flickered quickly. His face showing an unreadable emotion. "You came down here thinking _I_ was Aubleus?"

I was looking at the floor now. "Yes."

Sirius was silent for a minute. His mouth slightly open as he thought. It was maxing me slightly anxious. After a minute, he let out a low whistle, looking floored. " _Merlin_ , Meadowes. I know I've said it before, but you really are the bravest bird I know."

I tried to ignore the tiny flurry of pleasure I felt at his endorsement, forcing myself to stop the smile that had begun to form at his words.

"Well I'm alive," I said quickly. "For the time being anyway. So, you don't have to feel guilty any longer. You can leave."

"I didn't come here _just_ to make sure you were alive," Sirius said pointedly, rolling his eyes. "I came here because seeing that in the prophet made me realize how stupid we we're being in the first place-" He stopped seeing the look on my face. "Fine. How stupid _I_ was being, alright? _I_ made the mistake. _I'm_ the reason we stopped being friends. And you know what, Meadowes? I shouldn't have said anything about this place at all. I was wrong. And I'm _bloody_ sorry, alright? I've spent the better part of three months thinking about it. And you know what? During that time, I missed you. I'll admit it."

Sirius' face changed quickly, softening as he looked to the floor. He almost looked a little embarrassed.

"I've never had any other friends outside of the Marauders," he continued, looking back up at me. "I haven't ever had to care about someone besides the three of them. You know what my family's like. Growing up like that doesn't exactly prepare you for things like loyalty. I had to learn that later. But I know what's important now. When I saw that picture in the prophet I realized that I didn't want to fight with you anymore. I don't want to have to worry about whether or not you're going to wind up dead. Because people _are_ dying nowadays. For a lot, less. There's a war brewing out there. There're already hundreds of people we can't trust. People who are going to try and kill us at any opportunity. We don't need any more enemies. We need allies. Friends. People who we can trust. Outside of the marauders, you're the only other person in this world that I do. You and I, we're the same. We're _bonded._ So, you're _going_ to forgive me, and we're _going_ to be friends again, because we have to. Got it?"

For a second, I simply stared back at him, completely surprised at what had just come out of his mouth. Sirius was not one for sharing his feelings lightly. I hadn't been either. That was one of the things we had in common. I knew what it meant for him to come here like this and say what he did. It was the Sirius version of getting on his knees and begging. It was _loyalty._

I knew then that I _had_ to forgive him. He had made an honest effort by coming here and acknowledging everything he had done. And he was right. Sirius and I were bonded. We understood one another in a way that didn't come around very often. That kind of bond was worth forgiving something for. I had missed him after all.

I nodded my head slowly. "Okay."

Sirius actually looked surprised, blinking quickly. "Okay?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow. "As in we're _done_ fighting? We can go back to our beautiful friendship and budding sexual tension?"

The laugh that came out of my mouth felt like it had been a long time coming.

" _Sexual tension_?" I repeated, unable to hide my smile. "Merlin, Sirius. Do you have to say every thought that pops into your head?"

"Yes, I do." Sirius winked, watching with delight as I chuckled to myself. "Don't deny you love it."

"I learned a long time ago not to argue with your bits," I told him happily. "It's better to just go with it."

"Wise woman," Sirius said, and he pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.

In seconds, it felt like nothing had changed between Sirius and me. He seemed exactly like the same person I spent all of winter holiday with. It was a massive relief. I already had too much on my plate to worry about hating anyone else. Not someone who I cared about. So, I hugged him back, glad that I didn't have to waste another second pretending to hate Sirius Black.

"I'm really glad you haven't been murdered, Meadowes." he joked as squeezed me tighter. "Believe it or not, Prongs give worse advice than you do."

"Well _I_ could have told you that," I joked resting my head on his shoulder. Sirius chuckled.

We broke apart after a minute, and I took a deep breath slipping my wand back into my pocket.

Sirius was surveying me again now. He looked past me towards the towering building behind me, looking hesitant. From his perspective, the building did look imposing. The iron gate wasn't exactly a comforting site.

"So, this is where you spend your summers?" he asked wearily.

"Cozy, right?" I asked, wrinkling my nose. Somehow the building looked even worse from the outside.

Sirius shrugged. "Compared to _my_ house, it looks like the Gryffindor Common Room." He was kidding slightly, but I could see the slight twinge of pain in his eyes at the mention of his home.

"Do you want to come in and hang out for a while?" I asked him, feeling a little strange about it. "It's pretty awful, but it's empty at least. Most of my roommates are out for the day."

Sirius grinned. "Inviting me to your room _all alone_ , Meadowes?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows salaciously. "If you trying to seduce me, all you have to do is _ask_."

I shook my head, knowing I shouldn't have been surprised. He always had had the ability to go from normal to dirty in ten seconds or less.

"You know what. I change my mind, you're no longer invited," I said shaking my head and turning on my heel.

"Alright, Fine. I'll _behave_ myself," Sirius said looking disappointed at the possibility. He was quiet as we entered, signed his name in on the visitor's sheet, and headed up the heavy flight of wooden stairs. He kept looking around, like he was taking everything in.

People stared at the two of us as we passed. I didn't know if it was because Sirius was good-looking or if it was because in the four years of living here at Wool's, I had never had a friend over, but people seemed unable to look away.

It was weird for me to have Sirius here. Like my two worlds, the magical one that contained Hogwarts and all of my friends, and my reality in the muggle world, we're colliding. I felt the same way I had when Professor Dumbledore had told me that You-Know-Who had gone here too. Wool's seemed to be a bigger link to the wizarding world than I gave it credit for.

"No wonder you like Hogwarts so much," Sirius said as we made it to my room, and he peered inside. "What's it like having 30 roommates?"

"Loud and boring," I told him honestly as we crossed the room towards my bed. "Every time I come back here it makes me yearn for the dormitories."

Sirius snorted. "If it makes you feel better. I have to share my house with _Regulus_. I'll trade you a room full of orphans for him any time."

"I'll pass, thanks," I grinned and plopped down at the end of my bed. "I'd take a bitchy orphan over a Slytherin any day."

"Here, here," Sirius agreed, as he sat down beside me. He raised an eyebrow as he looked at me bed slightly amused. "Why isn't yours decorated, Meadowes? I never thought _you_ would be the kind to lack creativity."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Because the statute of secrecy would probably forbid me from hanging Quidditch posters off the end of it, Sirius."

He shrugged. "Fair point."

We both chuckled, and I brought my knees to my chest. "How has it been spending the summer at home?" I asked

I knew out of all people, Sirius might be the only one who was having a more miserable summer than I was.

Sirius groaned. "Uneventful. Regulus is a little git who sucks up to my parents at every opportunity. Though he's a _bit_ better when he's not around all those Slytherins…" Sirius looked irritated. "And dear old mum and dad have been in a fantastic mood all summer. They're excited about what's coming. They want this war. Every conversation at the dinner table has been about ridding the world of _dirty blood._ "

I shuddered, and Sirius gave me a knowing look. "That's pretty much sums up how I feel about it. You should have heard the tirade they went on when I had James over last weekend. They really know how to make _blood-traitor_ sound like an insult."

"Wear it with pride," I told him. "It'll only make them madder."

"You know _I_ do," Sirius grinned. "Anyway, what about you? What have you been doing besides hating me and dodging murderers?"

"In that order of course," I said rolling my eyes and proceeded to fill him in on everything that had happened in the course of the summer. He seemed genuinely interested in hearing about Violet and Maddox and gritted his teeth over my run-in with Rabastan and his brother.

"Rodolphus is even worse than you think," Sirius had seethed after I finished the story. "Rabastan is too concerned with stripping you down to your skivvies to do any real damage."

I shivered, and Sirius threw me a sympathetic look before continuing. "Rodolphus is the one you have to be really careful with. He's a lot like Bellatrix. I overheard my parents say he's already aligned himself with You-Know-Who."

"So, pissing him off probably wasn't the best course of action then?" I groaned digging my hands deeper into my pillow. The last thing I needed was another dangerous enemy. My list seemed to be growing longer and longer, even with Sirius' name firmly placed back on the ally side.

Sirius shrugged, and a wide smile stretched across his face. "It's what _I_ would have done, but my moral compass doesn't always point due North."

"It rarely does actually," I reminded him.

Sirius playfully elbowed me in the ribs. "It's all part of the charm, Meadowes."

We spent the next few hours trying to catch ourselves up on what was going on with one another and what we had missed during those three months when we're we weren't speaking. James had reportedly been in a bit of foul mood, something that Sirius attributed to the cold shoulder that Lily had given him for what happened with Snape.

"To be fair, it _was_ stupid," I had told him, rolling my eyes. "Snape's a git, don't get me wrong, but what did James _hope_ to accomplish by attacking him?"

Sirius had raised an eyebrow at me. "Meadowes, do you want me to finish the story or do you want to argue about Snape?"

"Story, please."

He had then gone on to tell me that Remus and Peter were both spending the summer abroad, leaving Sirius stuck alone and bored in his house. He listened, playing with the end of my quilt as I told him what Mary, Marlene and Lily were up too. And seemed genuinely interested when I told him I was spending the last week of my summer with Lily.

"It's nice Dumbledore let you go," Sirius said leaning back against my pillows. "I always thought it was rubbish he didn't let you spend the whole summer with Evans."

"He has his reasons," I told him shrugging, "but after what happened last September 1st, I guess he figured it was better I went to Kings Cross with Lily."

Sirius frowned, confused. 'What happened _last_ September 1st?" he asked, tossing one of pillows into the air and catching it.

I launched into the entire conversation about Tom Riddle, and how I had seen him here the year prior. When I got to the part about how I figured out who he was, Sirius lobbed his wand at me.

"What was _that_ for?" I asked darting out of the way, as his wand scattered across the floor and sent purple sparks shooting out of the end of it.

"You should have told me about that," Sirius said shaking his head. "I can't _believe_ you didn't."

"We weren't speaking" I reminded him. "and at the time you had your head so tightly plastered to Amara Selwyn's face you wouldn't have been able to hear me if I did," I added, feeling inexplicably crabby at the memory.

" _Still_ ," Sirius pressed. He looked a little sheepish for a second and then shook his head. "We could have paused the fight. Hearing about how you met the powerful, evil git trying to ruin the balance of our world is more important than our little spat."

"Next time, then," I said as I got up and retrieved his wand from the ground thrusting it back at him. "Put this away before one of my roommates walk in. Muggles aren't accustomed to seeing wands lying around."

"There won't be a next time," Sirius said confidently, pocketing his wand as I sat back down. "You and I aren't ever fighting again. That was _bloody_ exhausting."

"Somehow I _doubt_ that," I said honestly. "We bicker all the time."

Sirius sighed. "Fine. We can fight. We can have a screaming match if you'd like, but we're never not speaking again. We'll work it out next time, alright?"

I nodded. "Sounds like a plan to me."

He smiled, and his attention turned the record player at was resting on the end of my trunk. It belonged to the orphanage, but the record in it, was mine. I had bought it in the beginning of the summer, and spent all day yesterday listening to it to distract myself from the news about Aubleus.

Sirius picked up the record up with his fingers and read the side of it. His eyebrows raised. "What's in Merlin's name is _Queen?_ "

I chuckled at the thought of having to explain both definitions of Queen to Sirius and decided to just be straightforward. "It's a band. They're really good."

I unearthed the record sleeve from under my bed and handed it to him. Sirius eyed it with interest and put it down on the record player. He struggled for a second with the dial, as it was slightly different that the more straightforward wizarding kind. Eventually, I stepped in and got it started for him.

Sirius sat in complete silence as he listened to the first three songs, a blank expressionless look plastered on his face as he did.

"This is bloody fantastic," he said, eyes wide as he listened. He listened to the entire record like that, while I watched on with interest. It was exactly like when Marlene had discovered The Godfather. She had run around Lily's house quoting it for three days straight. I supposed living in a Pureblood house like Sirius' he wouldn't have much experience with anything that muggles did. Even Remus and Peter, who were both Half-bloods like me, had wizards and witches for parents. They wouldn't know much about it either. It was so unlike my friends. Marlene was the only one of us who didn't live with muggles.

"That was life-changing," Sirius said when the final song finished. "How can anyone not like muggles after listening to _that?_ " He flipped through the pictures in the record sleeve with a god-like reverence.

"That's the solution then?" I asked him. "Play You-Know-Who a little Freddie Mercury and this whole war ends?"

"I'm just saying, it's an option."

I let out a low laugh. "You can borrow it if you want. Really nail down that plan of yours. Who am I to stand in the way of You-Know-Who's defeat?"

"Thanks, Meadowes," Sirius said slipping the record back in its sleeve. "You'll be remembered on the right side of history for this."

The door to the room opened before I could say anything else and Helen traipsed in looking overly-enthusiastic, a quiet girl at her side. They were immersed in a engaging conversation but both stopped when they saw Sirius and me.

For a moment, Helen's look of pure loathing she sent my way stopped when she was Sirius, and he eyes filled with intrigue. He was half-stretched across my bed still reading the back of the record sleeve, but even from here I knew what she was seeing. Sirius was good-looking, by anyone's standards. Better looking than anyone here. Helen seemed to sense this.

" _You_ have a boy up here?" Helen asked in disbelief, looking like her desire to impress Sirius was the only thing stopping her from adding a snort to the end of her sentence.

"Yup."

Helen looked extremely confused. "Is he from _that school_ of yours?" she asked, wrinkling her nose. Her distaste for me and the school I left this place for was clear. Sirius looked amused now too, looking up from the record with a raised eyebrow.

"He's right here, Helen. You can ask him yourself," I told her honestly, growing impatient of her impoliteness.

"No thanks," Helen said dropping her purse on the corner of the bed. "If he's hanging around you, he's probably just as strange as _you are_."

Behind me Sirius looked like he was struggling with the desire to burst into laughter. Helen gripped the arm of her friend and led her from the room.

"Nice to meet you," Sirius called lazily as they slammed the door behind them.

"Cheery, aren't they?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"About as nice as Regulus," Sirius said sympathetically.

Sirius ended up staying for another hour before a hovering Ms. Churchmire came upstairs at Helen's request, to remind us that guests couldn't stay past six.

Sirius promised to write and then we said goodbye. I lingered at the gate of the orphanage as I watched him round the corner out of sight, knowing that at least one good thing had come out the summer. Sirius and I were friends again.

* * *

It had taken another week after Aubleus' reappearance before I managed to make it back to Diagon Alley. And when I did, I was greeted with a stack of desperate correspondence from my friends that ranged from asking me if I was alright, to heavily worded threats if I didn't write back before the week ended, they'd send howlers. I spent over an hour drafting a letter to each of them, telling them just how fine I was off and sent them off before I did anything else.

I also had one from Sirius, telling me he had been grounded from leaving his house after telling his mother "that all the Muggleborns he knew had more sense than half the Black family put together" and inviting me to come to his house on August the twelfth. It was the same day as the meeting for You-Know-Who followers and the house would empty, seeing as his parents were planning on attending. His address was scribbled in tiny handwriting on the bottom of the page.

After I had answered my letters I made my way to Madam Malkins to see Violet. When I asked the other shop girl, Stella if she was working today, she frowned, looking upset.

"Are you Doe?" she asked nervously, her voice very strained.

When I nodded, she headed over to the counter and took out a neatly folded piece of parchment with my name on it and disappeared to the back of the store without another word.

Confused, I opened the parchment and read.

 _Doe,_

 _I've left the country. I can't risk sticking around with Aubleus back. There is too much history there, and I don't want to end up dead. Especially not with everything that's happening here with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. I am sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you, but I had to leave quickly. I hope to see you again sometime, and please for the love of Merlin, stay safe. Aubleus can't be trusted._

 _-Violet_

The parchment felt heavy in my hands, like one of the large History of Magic textbooks I had buried in my trunk.

I understood why Violet felt like she had to leave. After all that happened with her and Aubleus, his reappearance had to have spooked her, and she didn't have the protection that I did at Hogwarts. This still didn't stop the fresh pit of guilt that formed in my stomach as I reread the note again. Talking to Violet had been therapeutic. I had liked her, and it had been refreshing to be able to talk about my parents with someone who knew them. Being around her was like being near family. And now, she was gone. Aubleus had managed once again to chase away the only reminder I had of my mum and dad.

I pocketed Violets letter and left Diagon Alley, feeling worse than I had before.

* * *

August 12th was an unseasonably chilly summer day. No weather person seemed to be able to determine why in the dead of the summer, fog and cold had appeared overnight, dimming the city's usual warm August glow. People were stumped. An uncomfortable chill seemed to cling to the London streets that had residents reaching into their closets for jackets and sweaters, growing more alarmed as they did.

"In the middle of August can you believe?" I overheard one muggle woman say to another as they passed me on the street, slapping a jacket over the shoulders of a struggling toddler in front of them.

I threw her a solemn look as I passed them, not needing a jacket over my lace tank top. _I_ knew why it was so cold out. Why the streets suddenly looked so dark and depressing. The reason kept my right hand pressed down against my jeans pocket, where my wand lingered.

I knew enough of the Dark Arts to know that a thousand riled up dark Witches and Wizards could, and _would_ make weather like this. And today, they had every reason too. They were celebrating. Today was You-Know-Who's meeting. Somewhere in the city, they were gathering. It made me shiver as I rounded the corner in search of Sirius'.

Grimmauld Place was a quiet, muggle street. Not at all what I expected from Sirius' blood-status-obsessed family. All the houses were large and expensive, fancy even by muggle standards, but every Pureblood wizard's home I'd ever been in was usually in a secluded neighborhood. Ostracized from the muggle world. Not smack dab in the middle of it.

I suppose there was _something_ to be said for hiding in plain sight. I did like the neighborhood. You could practically walk to Kings Cross from here.

Sirius had sent me a letter several weeks before warning me to come after ten, when his parents would be long gone, and that the house would be unmarked. He had said to go where the house _should_ be. I had been confused when I'd read that, but now it suddenly made sense. In front of me were two townhouses, one with a large iron 11 on it, and the next one was 13. There was no 12 Grimmauld Place.

"Funny, isn't it?" an old muggle woman wrapped in a shawl said as she saw me looking. "There isn't no 12. Some developers had a great laugh about it, I'll bet." She moved on, chuckling to herself before I could say anything else.

I made my way slowly to the spot between Number 11 and 13, and almost jumped backwards into the street. As soon as I had approached the buildings, they seemed to shove aside, revealing another house between them. I turned around frantically to see if any of the muggle children playing the street had seen what I had just seen. None of them even looked in my direction. The worn set of steps and battered front door seemed to be invisible to everyone else on the street. _Handy,_ I thought as I took the steps two at a time.

There was a large silver, serpent shaped knocker on the door. _This_ was starting to feel a lot more like Sirius' family. I took a deep breath and knocked lightly, hoping silently, that Sirius' parents were already gone. I didn't know much about Orion and Walburga Black except that they despised anyone who wasn't Slytherin or Pureblood, so I doubted they'd take too kindly to me.

The door swung open seconds later, and Sirius appeared. His hair was thrown into a messy bun and he was frowning, but it disappeared the moment he noticed me.

"You're in luck," he said cockily. "Walburga and Orion left fifteen minutes ago. They were late on account of their need to lecture me on the perils of sleeping with muggleborns." He gave an irritated eye roll.

"How could they not impart _that_ wisdom on you?" I asked sarcastically, as he moved aside to let me in. "You weren't kidding about this place though. It _is_ hidden."

"Really made sure they hid it well after the stole it from the muggles who _actually_ built it," said Sirius looked unimpressed as I followed him through the door. "They were thorough, though. It's protected by several hundred concealment spells, and it's supposedly unplottable."

"Like Hogwarts," I remembered from a recent reread of Hogwarts, A History.

Sirius snorted. "It's _nothing_ like Hogwarts, Meadowes. Trust me. More like Azkaban. Actually, it might even be _less_ accommodating."

"You're so dramatic," I said shaking my head.

The door closed behind him, and I stopped to admire the long hallway in front of me. It was grand, I'd give the Blacks that. It was carpeted which thick, emerald and silver rugs and the walls were lined all the way back with ornate, framed portraits that seemed to stretch on forever. Above us hung a chandelier that was dripping with crystals so large, it rivaled the one at Gringotts. I'd never seen a house so ornate before. It made my childhood home seem like a shack.

"Wow," I said as I looked around at it. " _This_ is where you grew up?"

"It has a way of feeling _very_ small, the longer you're in it," Sirius said darkly, looking at the room as though it disgusted him. " _Come on._ I'll give you a tour."

I followed Sirius down the hall, as he pointed to the dining room, a cavernous room with a table longer the House table and a wall of porcelain china, and the stairs to the kitchen. It seemed no matter where you went in this house, it was impossible to ignore the touches of this family. Everything was green, silver or serpent shaped, from the door handles to the engravings on the silver. It felt like being in a shrine to Pureblood Slytherins. I could see now why Sirius was so uncomfortable here. It was like living in the Slytherin Common Room.

We stopped when we got the kitchen, and something knocked into the side of me. I jumped backwards frightened and bumped into Sirius' chest.

It was a House Elf, a young one with a particularly downturned nose and a look of arrogance hung on its face. I'd never been around a lot of House elves. My mum thought the act of keeping them was repulsive, and the ones I had seen, didn't scowl like this one wad.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me as I calmed myself down, looking slightly amused.

"That's just Kreacher," Sirius said flatly, watching as the elf looked at him with pure loathing.

 _"_ _Master Sir-ius,"_ the house elf droned, breaking Sirius' name in two, like he hated saying it. The elf's large eyes turned to me. "Did you bring a guest into this house? When Mistress Black _specifically_ told you not too?"

"You're not my keeper, elf" Sirius snapped at him, his eyes narrowing the way they did when he was around people he despised. "Why don't you run along and find a nice pair or Regulus' underpants to bury your head in?"

But the Elf still looked delighted by the prospect of Sirius' getting into trouble. "Oh, I am going to tell her, yes I will. Mistress Black will be _so_ angry with you."

"He likes to pretend he's got any power around here," Sirius told me, the irritation growing on his face. It didn't seem to faze Kreacher much. He had taken to circling me, like some kind of predator.

 _"_ _Doesn't look like a Pureblood either, does she? Oh no. Mistress Black will be so unhappy when Kreacher tells her about the filth that the eldest boy brings into the house…"_

I felt my cheeks burn red with embarrassment. The elf looked up at me with excitement in its wide eyes. It enjoyed insulting me.

"Enough, Kreacher!" Sirius hissed at him, grabbing him by the back of his dirty shawl and tossing him forward. "Away with you!"

Kreacher sneered at him as he landed several feet away and gave a curt little bow. "Of Course, _Master_ Sirius. Kreacher _lives_ to serve the House of Black."

The elf have us both a dirty look before slinking down to the kitchen, out of sight.

"He's a real charmer, huh?" I asked, when he had disappeared, still shivering from the encounter. It was actually impressive for a House Elf to be disgusted by my blood status too.

Sirius' upper lip twitched. "I _hate_ that little git. He sounds just like my mother." He shuddered a little. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," I assured him, nodding my head. "I don't really consider a day until someone's insulted my parentage."

Sirius grinned. "I wouldn't take it too personally if I were you. He can't stand James either."

"At least I'm in good company."

"That's the spirit."

I followed Sirius back down the hallway, still absorbed in the sights of Grimmauld place and resigning myself to forget the insults that Kreacher had slung at both of us. After a summer at the orphanage, it didn't seem that bad. It was better to be insulted for being the 'wrong' kind of witch than to be teased for having a weird name.

"Why does that Portrait have curtains over it?" I asked as we passed a set of green velvet curtains, covering a portrait almost the length of the entire wall.

"Because it's hideous," Sirius said chuckling as the Portrait beneath it started to wail in a woman's voice, shouting incoherent phrases beneath the thick curtains. Sirius seemed to find this highly amusing.

Several of the uncovered portraits hissed or sneered at us as we passed. One of them, a stately one that sat at the end of the hall, was spitting the loudest, its inhabitant looked disgusted.

"Why is that you always have such _eccentric_ house guests, Sirius?" it asked with repugnance. "A blood-traitor today, I see. I suppose she is better than the Werewolf. Or that blasphemous Potter boy."

"Enough, Phineas," Sirius snapped at it. "Or I'll rip you off the wall and leave you in the storage cupboard."

The inhabitant attempted to spit at Sirius, and looking annoyed, Sirius led me away from it.

"Who was that?" I asked him, still amazed and horrified at the hallway of portraits as I sprinted away from them, trying to match Sirius' long strides.

Sirius didn't give the portrait a second look. "My great, great grandfather, Phineas Nigellus Black. Barmy old Codger, that one."

A grand staircase sat at the end of the hall, and I followed Sirius up onto it. When I got to the first step I almost fell backward in horror.

"What in _Merlin's name?_ " I shrieked, my breath hitching as I took two steps backward away from the awful sight.

The wall on the stairs was littered with tiny, shrunken heads mounted on plaques. It was unmistakable what they were, with their long noses, big eyes and floppy ears. They were beheaded house-elves. Strung up on the wall like they were a piece of art. I felt like I was going to throw up.

"Tell me those _aren't_ house elves?" I demanded quietly, gripping the snake-shaped bannister for support, unable to look away.

Sirius frowned. "Sorry. Should have warned you about that. Disgusting, isn't it? You should have seen the look on Moony's face when he saw it. Wormtail just about threw up. You're handling it better than he did."

"So long as I'm doing better than Pettigrew," I whispered, horrified. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. It was too gruesome of a sight.

"That's not a lofty goal, Meadowes. It's Wormtail, after all."

"Why would someone do this?" I whimpered, finally gaining the courage to join Sirius two stairs up.

"Welcome to the _Ancient and Most Noble House of Black_ ," said Sirius, casting a look of dislike at the house around him. "Every single person in this house is mad." He shrugged and kept walking up the stairs to the next floor, clearly too used to the atrocity to be much bothered by it anymore.

I trailed behind Sirius, still confused. "And does Kreacher know _that's_ what's waiting for him someday?" I asked.

"Yeah, and the little freak is actually excited about it. Thinks it's an honor. Personally, I'm glad. He deserves it."

He stopped on the first floor and pointed to a couple of rooms. "Those are all bedrooms, guest rooms mainly. Not that we ever have any guests here that are worth mentioning. That's the drawing room. I'll show it to you later, that's a whole separate conversation." Sirius looked annoyed by that room and kept walking to the next floor.

"This floor's pretty boring. It's got another guest room. An office. And the master bedroom. That's where the devil and his wife sleeps."

I cracked a smile. "Your parents?"

Sirius grinned. "Exactly. Self-awareness is a _beautiful_ thing, Meadowes."

We walked in tandem to the top floor, where there were only two ornate doors, each with a heavy silver plaque fastened to them. Sirius stopped at the closer one, the plaque bore his name. "My room," Sirius said stopping in front of it. "And the one over there is Regulus'."

The other door opened at Sirius' words and a boy appeared in the doorway. It took me a second to recognize it as Regulus. He looked different than I last remembered him at school. A little older. His face had filled out and made him resemble Sirius a bit more, and he too was tanner, not his usual icy pale. It made him look less unapproacble.

"I see you've finally emerged from your room," Regulus said evenly to his brother. It was a simple statement, but it was dripping with accusation and hidden meaning. It was clear from his tone just how much the two of them didn't get along.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "It's not like you lot give me much of a reason, Reg." Sirius' tone was kinder, but still held a trace of hostility. "If you separated yourself from mother and father's arse every now and then, maybe you'd see more of me."

"They deserve at least one son who doesn't let them down, don't you think?" Regulus demanded confidently. His insult did its job. Sirius' confident demeanor faltered as his eyes narrowed at his brother.

Regulus' seemed to sense this and flashed him a strained smile, turning to me. "Is she your girlfriend?" he asked quietly. "Mum won't like that. She's already furious enough that you spend all your time with that Blood Traitor Potter and I'm willing to bet _her_ magical blood's even less than his."

I felt my upper lip start to curl as Regulus looked on at me haughtily. "There are worse things than being a half-blood, you know," I told him, icily. "being bigoted, for one."

Regulus shot me a cold look, his fingers gripping his door.

Sirius grinned. "She's a friend, Reg. Some of us actually have those when we're not running around insulting people. Now stay in your room if you plan on being a little git for the rest of the day."

Regulus rolled his eyes and closed the door with a slam. Sirius looked unaffected, "He's been like that all summer. Usually he's a bit more tolerable, but I think all those time Mum dropped him on his head are finally starting to show," he said, opening his bedroom door.

"Maybe he just needs more guidance from you," I suggested, knowing how futile that might be, when I considered how much time he spent with Slytherins.

"Or a stinging jinx to the face," Sirius suggested brightly as I followed him into his room.

Sirius' bedroom was the complete opposite of the rest of the house. If every other room was a tribute to the tradition of the Black name, Sirius' room was the rebel. Every single solitary surface seemed to be littered with Scarlet and gold, from the bedspread to the pillows, the thick velvet curtains and even the chair. It practically screamed Gryffindor.

I chuckled. "Remind me, Sirius. Which house are you in again?"

"Oh, shut it, Meadowes." Sirius rolled his eyes and plopped down in the chair closest to the door. "You'd be proud of your house too if you lived with a house full of Slytherins."

I chuckled as I walked around his room, taking it all in. His bed took up most of the room. It was the largest bed I'd ever seen and covered with dark wooden carvings.

The wall closest to me was littered with Quidditch flags, Gryffindors banners, and posters of Muggle Motorcycles. I smiled, remembering when he told me about his particular affinity for them.

"Permanent sticking charm?" I asked gesturing to them.

"Of course. Couldn't have dear old Mum ripping them down while I was at school."

Beside his bed was a photo of the Marauders. The tiny people in the frame kept laughing and shoving one another. And above them, my jaw fell open. Sirius had fastened several posters of muggle girls in bikinis to the wall.

I raised an eyebrow at him. _"Really?"_ I asked, slightly impressed by his nerve.

"Have you met _me_ , Meadowes?" Sirius chortled, observing the look on my face. "By all means, take the same picture and I'll put you up there with them."

I shook my head. "You're foul."

"I _know_."

"She looks kind of familiar," I said squinting at the blonde girl in the red bikini. There was something about her that I recognized.

"Aw, _that_ one," Sirius chuckled, looking highly amused. "It has come to my attention from others that she looks a bit like our Hogwarts Quidditch commentator."

"Emmeline," I nodded. That's exactly who she reminded me of.

"Mm _,_ Vance," Sirius broke out into a smile, looking pleased.

"Gross."

I shook my head as I sat down on the edge of Sirius bed, and ignored his laughter at my expense. "It's strange to see where you grew up," I noted, when he finally regained himself. "It really is a wonder you turned out all right."

"You have no idea," Sirius said stretching his legs out in front of him. "I could tell you stories that would turn your hair whiter than it is."

I sighed. "Merlin, I'm sorry."

"It doesn't really matter to me anymore. I've long since cared what anyone in this house thinks of me," Sirius shrugged. "The only people I care about, live in Gryffindor Tower."

"Those are some words to live by."

Sirius gave a hearty nod. "That reminds me, I found something you'll find interesting." He reached into his bottom dresser drawer and unearthed a thick letter, at least four pieces of parchment long, written out in a frantic, messy handwriting.

"Any interest in hearing about Peter's first kiss?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Gimme that letter, Black," I demanded excitedly, and Sirius handed it over, chuckling as he did.

* * *

"No way, Sirius. I already told you. _No!_ "

"But we have to fill two chaser positions," Sirius implored as we made our way down the stairs several hours later. " _Two!_ And I've seen you fly. You have a wicked arm and you're wasting it. Do you want Gryffindor to lose _again?_ Because if we do, I honestly believe Prongs might try and drown himself in the shower. _"_

"If you're implying I'm the only one who can save the Gryffindor team, then it's got bigger problems, Sirius," I reminded him as we took the stairs two at a time. "And I wouldn't worry about James if I were you, as long as Lily's breathing so is _he_."

Sirius shook his head as he stopped on the first floor. "You're mad. Who likes Quidditch as much as you and _doesn't_ try out?"

"Someone who isn't a trained Quidditch player," I told him firmly, "I'm a spectator."

"No, you're _stubborn_ ," Sirius said shaking his head at me as he paused at the door the drawing room.

"So are you," I pointed out, giving him a knowing. "You're worse than me."

"Yeah but I usually get what I want," Sirius chuckled. " _Especially_ when it comes to women."

"Right," I rolled my eyes, "Let me know how persuasive you actually are with your clothes _on."_

"Why? the alternative is a lot more _fun,_ " Sirius said cheekily, nudging me in the ribs. He smiled as I swatted his hand away.

He spent a minute fiddling with the lock on the drawing room door, pocketing his wand in favor of a bobby pin. I found it highly disconcerting that he knew how to break into locked doors _without_ magic. After a minute, the door swung open to reveal an impressive room. "Here it is," Sirius said unenthusiastically.

"Merlin's beard," I whispered, taking a step inside.

The room was by far the most exquisite room I'd see in the house so far. It was huge, with giant bay windows that showcased the entire street below. One of the walls was crowded with a large granite fireplace ,flanked on either side with glass cabinets full of odds and ends. Extravagantly carved velvet couches (large enough to fit a giant) sat in the middle of the room, beside a fine Grand Piano, and across from a stately bookshelf that housed hundreds of volumes. But it was one wall in particular that I didn't seem able to look away from. A tapestry covered the length of it. A mural depicting a physical family tree. It seemed to go back to the middle ages, showing the names and portraits of every person in their family for generations.

"My least favorite part of this house," Sirius scowled, coming up behind me as I reached out to touch the end of it.

"It's ostentatious," I agreed, walking down the room to get a better look at the more recent additions, "I'll give you that."

Sirius plopped down on one of the couches lazily as I looked at the tapestry, clearly bored of it after all this time. He reached into the side of the cushions and pulled out a battered copy of _Quidditch Monthly_ that had been stashed there and began reading while I looked around.

The Tapestry was full up until the middle where I started to recognize some of the names. There was Sirius' parents, and Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa. Down two more branches were Regulus and Sirius' names and portraits. Sirius was scowling in his, like he had been coerced into sitting for it, but he still somehow managed to look handsome.

"What is _Toujours Pur_?" I asked, reading the script that repeated over and over on the bottom of the tapestry.

"The Black family motto," Sirius answered, not looking up from the magazine, though his tone had changed dramatically. "It means _Always Pure_."

I let out an impetuous laugh. "Of _course,_ it does. Your family not's very subtle, are they?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "'fraid not. You should hear how they go on and on about that wall. They think being a Black practically makes you royalty." He scowled.

My gaze drifted to the Sirius' parent's portraits. They both looked very tense. Even though they were smiling, it was impossible to miss the haughty look of pride in their eyes. It was the way I had always pictured them being. His mother in particular. She was a stern woman with a sheet of dark, pin-straight hair and sharp cheekbones. The name underneath her photo read Walburga Black. The rest of the women on the tree had their maiden names as well, meaning…

"Don't tell me your mother's maiden name was Black too?" I shuddered, putting two and two together.

" _Yes_ ," Sirius crowed, raising one of his eyebrows, looking entertained for the first time since we'd set foot in this room.

"Does that _bother_ you, Meadowes?" he called cheekily.

I wrinkled my nose, watching as it further delighted him. "Does it bother _you_ that you probably have six toes on each foot?"

"You mean you _don't?_ " Sirius asked, wiggling his feet suggestively. He let out a quick snicker. "Welcome to the Ancient and Most _Incestuous_ House of Black."

Like most of the truly Pureblood families in the Wizarding World, Sirius' family tree was full of inbreeding. I didn't know why it surprised me. There wasn't a single family in the Sacred Twenty-Eight that didn't have a history of it. My own mother's family included.

"Prewett?" I asked, reading one of the branches aloud. "You're related to the Gideon then?"

Saying Gideon's name aloud felt a bit strange. My cheeks didn't get pink like they normally did, when I talked about him, but it had been replaced with a odd, churning feeling in my stomach. For some reason, it felt a little weird to talk to Sirius about Gideon. Even though I couldn't explain why. My other friends all knew how I felt about Gideon.

"We're like second cousins or something," Sirius said casually, flipping through the pages of the magazine quickly. "Why are you so fascinated by this? That wall is just a bunch of little gits. The only ones worth a damn on there are Alphard and Andromeda."

I didn't know why I found the family tree so fascinating. I knew all of Sirius' relatives were foul, but it was still pretty engaging that they had such a history here. He could trace his roots back for centuries.

"I don't know," I told him honestly, dropping into the seat beside him. "I just think it's interesting, that you have all of this family history. Even if it is full of dark witches and wizards."

"You're a strange bird, Meadows," Sirius said shaking his head. "When I think of Dear Old Mum and Dad, _interesting_ is that last word that comes to mind."

"You don't always have to be so heinous to mother," Regulus snapped, appearing in the doorway of the drawing room and giving Sirius a dirty look. I didn't know how long he had been hovering by the door. He hadn't made any noise at all.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at his younger brother. "And you don't always have to suck up to her like the giant squid."

Regulus let out an irritated puff of breath, crossing his arms in frustration. I noticed he had his wand in his hand. It made me want to laugh. Did he really think he'd be dueling his brother?

"How long is _she_ staying?" Regulus asked, nodding at me.

"As long as she wants," Sirius said, not bothering to get up from the couch. "Now beat it before you end up with a stinging jinx to the face." He grabbed one of the heavy embroidered pillows off of the couch and tossed it at him.

Regulus snorted as he moved out of the pillows path. " _You're_ going to hex me?"

"I could, but I might just let Doe do it," Sirius said patting me on the head. "She's hexed quite a few Slytherins. Probably got a taste for it now."

Regulus scowled in our direction for a minute and then disappeared from the room, without another word.

"Every summer I magically wish he'll transfer to Durmstrang," Sirius sighed lying back on the couch to stare at the ceiling.

The couch was massive enough that when I joined him, Sirius and I could both lie on our backs next to one another, with room to spare.

"You might miss him if he was gone," I reminded him quietly.

Sirius snorted. "Have you been confounded, Meadowes?"

"He's still your brother, Sirius."

"Blood only goes so far for me," Sirius said darkly, staring at the ceiling coldly. "James has been more of a brother to me than Regulus has ever been. Not that it's entirely his fault. He was raised by the evilest pair of people on the planet."

I rolled over on my side to look at him. "Are they really evil?" I asked him quietly. "I mean besides all of the pureblood mania and everything. Taking that out of consideration, are they cruel?"

I didn't want to press Sirius to talk about anything he didn't want to talk about, but I had always been curious. He seemed to really _hate_ them. As much as I hated Aubleus.

Sirius didn't say anything for a minute, keeping his eyes trained on the ceiling above him.

"They _invented_ cruel," he said quietly, his face drawn with fury. There was no mistaking the hatred there.

"It would be one thing if they were just bigoted, blood-status obsessed classists, but they're not. They've _done_ things." Sirius had a forgone look on his face now.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want too," I told him quietly, blinking slowly. I knew what it was like to have personal demons. Things you didn't want to, or couldn't, talk about.

Sirius sat up, so he could look me properly in the eyes. "I thought w we're trying the whole trust thing over, again?"

"We are," I said, "Within reason. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want too." Sirius let out a heavy sigh.

"Walburga likes to yell," he said, and hesitated. His eyes became strangely hard for a minute and he reached for the top button of his shirt, unbuttoning it slowly to reveal the top of his chest. "Orion prefers curses."

For a second, my eyes went wide with confusion, wondering what possible reason Sirius had to take off his shirt, but as he opened it further I started to notice something peculiar. Strewn across his tanned, surprisingly well muscled chest, was a collection of small shiny scars At first, I hadn't noticed them, but the longer I looked, I recognized the pearly shine and knew what they meant.

They were marks. From curses. The kind of painful, dark curses that still left marks. The ones decent wizards would never even consider using. I'd only ever read about them.

I couldn't hold in the gasp that escaped my mouth. " _Sirius_ ," I whispered, my voice cracking as I covered my mouth with my hand.

Sirius didn't say anything. His face was completely black, except for his mouth which was pulled into a hard line.

"Your _father_ did that to you?" I asked him, horrified as I reached out unthinkingly and touched the closest one with my fingertips. I could barely keep my hand from shaking. He didn't recoil from my touch.

"Most of them," Sirius replied darkly. "Mum helped out with a few. They like punishments for tarnishing the black name."

He touched one of the longer ones, his hand grazing mine as I pulled it back. "That one," he said quietly, his voice drenched with anger. "Was for being sorted into Gryffindor."

"But you couldn't control that," I demanded quickly, my mouth hung open in horror. "You were a _child_."

"Didn't seem to matter very much to them," Sirius said, shrugging. "I told you my family was just as fucked up as yours."

"You were right," I told him, my eyes still a little swimmy. "I am so sorry."

Sirius' buttoned his shirt back up and shook his head. "Now come on, Meadowes. Don't get all _emotional_ on me. It's bad for my reputation to have a girl crying on me."

"Oh, shut up." I wiped at the corner of my eyes before any of the tears could escape and shoved him in the stomach.

Sirius was brave. Reckless, sure, but brave. He was the kind of person who didn't want to admit to the feelings that those scars left him with, and I certainly wasn't going to make him. I was shocked he had even shown them to me in the first place. He really was trying to repair the friendship.

I laid back down beside him on the couch as he chuckled softly. "You're _such_ a bird."

I ignored his jibe and stared at the ceiling. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. There was so much anger flowing through me I didn't know what to do with it. How could they have done that to Sirius? Who could hurt their own child? And for things he couldn't even control.

Sirius' parents were the absolute worst of our world. Just as bad as Aubleus. Or You-Know-Who.

"I hate your parents," I said with a heavy sigh.

"One more thing you and I have in common," Sirius said happily. "If it makes you feel any better, my parent's probably hate you back. They despised your parents."

"It does, actually."

"I'm glad, then."

"What do you think Walburga would do if she found me here?" I asked. It wasn't out of fear that I was asking, but curiosity. After what Sirius had told me. I'd love to have a reason to use my wand on her.

"Well it wouldn't be good," His chest rose and fell as he spoke. "She dragged Prongs out by his ear the last time she caught him here. And he's a Pureblood."

"Do you think Regulus will tell her?"

"Probably. But you'll already be gone."

We laid in silence for a minute. The only sound we could hear was the shuffling of Kreacher as he passed the drawing room, muttering something that sounded a lot like " _Little Blonde Blood traitor."_

"I'm glad you're here today, Meadowes," Sirius said after a minute. "It makes this day go by faster. It would have been bloody miserable otherwise."

"Because of the meeting?" I asked, shivering at the thought of it. Sirius nodded glumly.

It made my blood run could just thinking about it. I wondered how many heinous people were out there right now, gathering to listen to his followers. How many people were joining the wrong side of this fight? How many people were pledging themselves to _Him?_

"It scares me to know people are actually there. Joining _Him_." I shuddered.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "It's a bit frightening to see _you_ look scared, you know," he said honestly. "It's almost unrecognizable. It would be like seeing myself look unattractive."

"Or modest," I joked.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You sound like Moony. I keep telling him, there is no point in denying when you're beautiful, it's unnecessary. I mean don't get me wrong, it's admirable and all when you do it. but I prefer to just be upfront about my genetic gifts."

I snorted, turning back to my side. "Like I said. _Modest._ "

We both laughed loudly for a second, recognizing how right I was and becoming absorbed in the moment. It felt good to laugh with him again. I really felt like what had happened the year before could be forgotten after all.

Sirius rolled over onto his side to face me. "Meadowes," he said, his tone suddenly very serious. So serious it made the trace of laughter on my lips stop.

"I really am sorry about what happened with us last year." His face was close to mine, close enough that I could see the seriousness in his eyes.

"I know," I told him firmly.

"I didn't like upsetting you. I don't know if you've noticed this particular personality trait or not, but you're a bit _mean_ to the people who upset you."

A small smile crossed Sirius' lips and he reached out hesitantly to play with a piece of my hair that was resting on his arm.

"I've heard that before," I sighed sheepishly.

Sirius tucked one of his arms under his head, watching me as he did. "Well consider it my lesson learned then."

For a second his head moved closer to mine, leaning forward. I froze, going very still, as he moved closer. There was something in his expression, something I didn't recognize. He was inches from my face when a loud sound made us sit up immediately.

The sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs made Sirius and I look from one to another quickly.

"Is that your parents?" I whispered.

"I don't know," Sirius said quickly, looking slightly annoyed at the prospect of their rearrival. "It's probably just Regulus. Stay here."

He was already on his feet, wand slipped out of his pocket as he crossed the drawing room. I listened, staying put. I was still reeling from a minute ago, too stunned to worry if Sirius' parents had come home early. Sirius' face had been awfully close to mine just then. Had I imagined it, or was he getting closer? My chest was rising and falling, as I decided to focus on whether or not I'd have to sneak out of Sirius house to avoid Walburga and Orion.

A figure appeared in the doorway before Sirius reached it. It wasn't either of Sirius' parents, but a single man. He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms, looking amused.

I stood up from the couch, reaching slowly for my wand. It was always better to be cautious.

The man was young, maybe in his early thirties, though he did look a bit more weathered than he should. His shoulder length black hair was wavy and loose, just as dark as his eyes. He had facial hair too. A mustache and short beard that reached up to his sharp, defined cheekbones.

A purple velvet cloak sat draped over his shoulders, with a matching paisley-three-piece suit underneath. On someone else, it might look a tad ridiculous, but this man had a way of carrying himself that made me think he could wear anything.

He was _very_ good-looking. And clicked his tongue, waving his wand as a cigarette appeared in his hand.

"My, _my_ Sirius. You have been naughty, haven't you?" he asked in a deep, sultry voice, chuckling with amusement as he put the cigarette to his lips. "My dear, batty older sister asks me to check in on you, and I find you sneaking around the drawing room with a blonde?"

Sirius had instantly relaxed, a grin on his face. "If you're going to sneak around, it should _always_ be with a blonde, Uncle Alphard," he replied cheekily.

 _Uncle_ Alphard. Now I realized why he looked so familiar. I had just seen his face on the family tree a few minutes ago. He was younger in the portrait, but it was undeniable now. I didn't know how I had missed it. He looked quite a bit like Sirius, with his full lips and sharp cheekbones, though his features were darker. If anything, it gave a very good picture of what Sirius would grow to look like. The Blacks may have been a family full of insufferable, evil bigots, but they really did have _good_ genes.

Sirius' posture changed immediately. He leaned against the drawing room wall looking very relaxed, happy even. I knew from what he had already told me that Alphard was one of the few family members he liked. He had always spoke of him fondly.

Alphard looked past Sirius towards me and flashed a sly smile. "And with the daughter of the infamous Greengrass Blood traitor too? _Brave_ _boy_."

"This is my friend, Doe," Sirius said, as I approached the two of them, feeling much more relaxed now that I knew it wasn't some strange dark wizard.

"I wasn't aware you had female friends, nephew," Alphard chuckled quietly. "Only _conquests_ as Regulus so often tells me."

"Well I only have the _one,_ " Sirius said. "And she only likes me half the time anyway."

"Smart girl," Alphard told me, reaching out to take my hand. "Alphard Black. Pleasure to meet you."

"Doe Meadowes," I told him confidently, shaking his hand.

"Oh, believe me I know," Alphard said, taking another puff from his cigarette. "I knew your mother. She was in Slytherin with me. All of the Greengrass's were." I didn't think I imagined the glazed over look that appeared in his eyes at the mention of them. It was the same look I got when I had to talk about them.

Alphard looked me up and down for a minute. "Has anyone ever told you you're a _dead ringer_ for your mother?"

I'd heard it from everyone since the moment I was born. It was the only thing anyone who knew them ever told me. I smiled. "Once or twice."

" _A day_ ," Sirius added.

Alphard snickered at Sirius and shed his cloak on the floor. "Well it really is uncanny," he said as he took a seat in one of the plush chairs, crossing his legs dramatically. Sirius had flopped back down on the other couch, unearthing his magazine again.

"You even managed to have the same energy as her," Alphard said slightly mystified as he watched me. "Aurelia always looked ready to charge head first into a duel. You look the same."

My curiosity was instantly peaked. Most of the people I knew who had known my mother weren't in Slytherin with her. They were all people she had met after she had married my father. She didn't like to talk about being young. I was fascinated by the idea of someone who knew her when she was _my_ age.

"Did you know her well?" I asked, perching myself on the edge of the couch across from him.

Alphard brought the cigarette to his lips again, smirking. "Well, _enough._ She was a few years ahead of me, but she was very hard to ignore. She drew a bit of attention to herself. Not the average Pureblood that girl."

"And you _are?_ " Sirius snickered, tossing his wand up into the air.

Alphard flashed Sirius a look that made him chuckle, and then turned back to me with a knowing smile. "As my nephew so charmingly hinted at, Doe, I am the Black Sheep of this family. Much like your mother was in hers."

"Ha! _Black._ I see what you did there. Good one, Alphard," said Sirius, looking pleased.

"Yes, well my wit is almost as prevalent as my beauty," said Alphard confidently, tossing his hair out of his face in a very familiar way. It was suddenly all making sense to me now, how Sirius had managed to become who he was in a house like this.

I turned to Sirius. "Your personality is suddenly starting to make a lot more sense" I said

"Are you implying that I am anything like _this_ man?" Sirius asked in false horror. "That's low, Meadowes. He's _old._ "

"You'd be lucky to grow into this," Alphard reminded him, gesturing a thin hand down his body with a grin plastered across his face. He made sure to catch my eye and give a dramatic wink that made me smile. Seeing this exchange made Sirius snort loudly.

"You're a flirt," Sirius told his uncle shaking his head. "You know that?"

"Where do you think _you_ learned it from?" Alphard asked, wiggling his eyebrows the exact same way Sirius did, and taking another drag from his cigarette.

"But I seal the deal," Sirius said firmly, still chuckling as he turned back to me. "Don't get too excited, Meadowes. He's about as straight as Dumbledore's nose."

The image of Dumbledore's crooked nose flashed through my head, and I understood what Sirius was getting at.

"Shockingly enough, it isn't my being gay that bothers the rest of these people so much," Alphard said gesturing to the tapestry behind me. "They don't care that I have men in my bed. They're more concerned that they're not _Purebloods._ " He gave an angry roll of his eyes.

"Believe me, I know what it's like to have a disapproving extended family," I assured him, thinking of my mother's family. Alphard's family at least still spoke to him. "The Greengrass's aren't exactly beating down my door to get to know me."

"Their loss," Alphard said firmly. "I've known them for years, and everyone last one of them isn't worth a damn."

"Agreed," I said, feeling a strange upsurge of delight knowing there were other people who despised them as much as I did.

"Merlin, you two sure know how to ruin the mood," Sirius said with a sigh. He lifted himself off of the couch and reaching for the cabinet behind him.

"So, where is dear Regulus?" Alphard asked, as Sirius fiddled with the cabinet behind him. It appeared to be locked but that wasn't stopping him.

"Polishing his 'World's Best Son' plaque I expect," Sirius said darkly, as the cabinet sprung open with a loud click. I still couldn't believe he could so easily break into things without magic. "He's in a foul mood today because mum and dad wouldn't bring him along to the meeting. He wanted to go and make them proud."

"He wanted to _go?_ " I asked, my jaw hanging open with shock. I knew Regulus wanted to make his parents proud, but the idea of a fourteen-year-old wanting to join league with You-Know-Who made my stomach fill with fiery hate.

"Yeah. That little git..."

"He's young, Sirius," Alphard remind him. "Barely more than a child."

Sirius scowled, unearthing three butterbeers from the cabinet. "Oh, come on. He's fourteen. He's not _that_ young. Do you think I was running around talking about following You-Know-Who when _I_ was fourteen? Were _you?_ "

Sirius handed me a butterbeer and handed one to Alphard, who shook his head and waved his wand instead. Almost immediately a crystal glass full of Firewhiskey appeared in his hand, and he took a hearty gulp.

"Regulus has been led astray by your parents," Alphard pointed out. "He isn't completely responsible for his ideology."

"That's _dragon dung_ ," Sirius said shaking his head. He chugged half of his butterbeer, his eyes angry and tight. "Everyone in this drawing room has terrible family, who did terrible things and I don't see any of _us_ running around trying to join the Death Eaters. I think Regulus made his choice a long time ago."

"He could always change his mind," I said quietly, really hoping that that was the case with Regulus. "These things aren't simple, Sirius. The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters."

"She's right," Alphard agreed, giving both Sirius and I a firm look. "I've been around long enough to know that some people do see the error of their ways. Regulus may not always be like this. He can always learn. He can always change. You just have to be willing to do it. You can't give up on him."

Sirius looked like he's rather eat his wand than do anything that even resembled teaching Regulus. I'd seen the way the two of them were at home, and at school they were even worse. I couldn't foresee a way that would change soon. He didn't say anything else and took another sip of his butterbeer.

Alphard sighed and downed the rest of the Firewhiskey in his glass. I didn't blame him. This conversation made me wish I had something stronger than Butterbeer too. I took a couple sips, glad that the warm drink seemed to loosen the knots that had formed when I started thinking about the meeting that was taking place right now.

"Have you spoken to Andromeda lately?" Sirius asked Alphard after a minute. "Is she doing alright?"

Alphard nodded, looking please again. "Visited her new house last weekend. You should see Tonks. She's huge now. Her hair was-"

The sound of the front door opening drowned out the rest of Alphard's words. A pair of stern voices filled the downstairs, clicking ominously.

 _"…_ _really would it have killed that boy not to leave his things lying around all over the house?" a woman's voice screeched in frustration._

 _"_ _..I blame that elf. Where has it gone?"_

Walburga and Orion's voices were carrying through the house louder now and I felt a returned sense of immediacy.

Sirius scowled, his face instantly looked miserable. "Great. _They're_ home."

"I should probably go," I realized, not wanting to be forced into an out and out duel with either one of Sirius' parents. I had had enough murderous Pureblood family drama for one summer already.

"I would find another exit out of the house if I were you," Alphard suggested getting up from his chair, "I'll see if I can distract your dear old mum and dad."

" _Regulus!"_ Walburga called from the first floor. "We're home!"

"There's a fire-escape from Regulus' room," Sirius said quickly, throwing a distasteful grimace toward the sound of his mother's voice. "Come on."

" _Regulus'_ room?" I asked, with a wrinkle of my nose. "You sure he wouldn't rather I get caught with your parents?"

Sirius shook his head. "We'll make sure to give him the proper _motivation._ " He nodded at his wand, as the two of us quietly climbed the next set of stairs towards the fourth landing. I could hear Alphard greeting Sirius' parents several floors below, and from the sound of it, Walburga was annoyed. It only made me want to get out of the house faster.

Regulus was coming out of his room when we approached it, and we almost bumped straight into him. He seemed to be in a much better mood now that his parents were home. He was even smiling.

"Trying to sneak her out before Mum and Dad find out you've had another blood-traitor in the house?" Regulus asked haughtily.

"Get out of the way, Reg, before I shove this wand somewhere you _don't_ want it," Sirius warned, giving his brother an irritated look.

Regulus sneered back at Sirius as he pushed his way through his room, watching the two of us with annoyance. Surprisingly, he didn't go straight to his parents and fetch them. He simply hovered, watching with disdain. It was like he didn't want Sirius to _actually_ get in trouble. He only threatened it. I couldn't help but think that might be a good sign. Maybe Regulus wasn't as far gone as Sirius thought.

I carefully helped Sirius unlatch Regulus' window and slid it open. There was an iron fire-escape outside of it that went down floor floors to a cobblestone alleyway beneath it. The thing looked like it hadn't been used or checked in a hundred years. Many or the bars were rusted with age that wasn't a comforting sight.

"Good thing I don't have a fear of heights," I said brightly, slightly uneasy as I crawled out of Regulus' window. "Think I would have a pass on using underage magic if I were falling to my death?"

"The ministry would probably frown upon it," Regulus muttered bitterly from inside the room. Sirius ignored him. "Look at it this way," he said happily. "Being friends with me is never boring."

"Being friends with you is probably going to be the death of me," I reminded him as I scaled down the ladder, silently praying to Merlin I didn't break my neck.

"Maybe so," he said. "but at least you'll have had fun."

I grinned. "I want _that_ on my tombstone."

"I'll keep that in mind," Sirius chuckled, watching as I scaled all the way down to the alley.

I had just hit the ground when a raging woman's scream ricocheted the open window like a howling cat.

 _"_ _WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SIRIUS?"_

"See you, Meadowes." Sirius called and closed the window, as I took off down the alley running so quickly I could hardly breathe.

If I had learned anything from this trip to Number 12 Grimmauld Place, it was that there were some witches and wizards I never wanted to face, and Walburga Black was one of them.


	25. Familiar, Freaky and Fuller

25

Familiar, Freaky, and Fuller

" _FATHER!_ " Petunia cried shrilly as she bounded down the stairs of the Evans' staircase. "She's gone and done it _again!_ "

"What have I done now?" Lily sighed beside me at the breakfast table, as she poured syrup over her pancakes. "Offended her by _breathing?_ "

"You never know," I told her, slightly amused as I took another bite of my eggs. "It could be _me_ she's furious at this time. Last night she threw a fit when she found my wand on your coffee table."

.I had only been at Lily's house for one day, and the sound of Petunia's accusations and shouting had already become very familiar to me. It seemed that Lily's older sister couldn't go more than a couple of hours without finding something to become furious at Lily for. That is, if she wasn't making some snippy comment about her. I had hoped when I arrived the night before, that Petunia might have grown out of the habit, seeing as she was in university now , but it seemed to be deeply embedded in her personality. Not that it mattered to me. I was so glad to be here with Lily and away from the orphanage, I didn't care what Petunia did or said to me. The two weeks between my visit to Sirius' house and Lily's had felt like stretched on _forever._ I had stayed out of Diagon Alley on my own. And seeing as Lily, Mary and Marlene were all on Holiday, and Sirius was still grounded from having _me_ over, I'd been forced to spend the entire time in the orphanage. I'd practically jumped into Lily's fathers van while it was _still_ moving when they showed up yesterday.

Mr. Evans, who was sitting across from us at the table, looked up from the paper in front of him, sliding his glasses down his nose. "I wouldn't take it personally if I were you girls. You know Petunia has always been a bit... _headstrong_ in her opinions."

Mr. Evans looked quite a bit like Lily when he talked. He had the exact same sprinkling of freckles across his nose that Lily did.

"Headstrong," Lily snorted. "She's just mean, Dad. It's fine to just say it."

Mr. Evans smiled back at his paper. "Maybe for you, Lilypad. But I'm her dad. I have to _lie._ "

I had to stop myself from spitting the orange juice in my mouth as I suppressed a laugh. Lily didn't seem capable and burst into giggles.

Lily's father had a quick wit about him that made him very interesting to talk too. Both he and Lily's mother were professors at the local university and always seemed very interested in discussing the magical world with me when I visited, something that made me always wonder how Petunia could be so ignorant about it.

Lily and I were still giggling when her sister traipsed into the room behind her mother, dumping a stack of Daily Prophets onto the breakfast table heatedly.

"I found _those_ in the powder room," Petunia snapped, putting her hands on her hips, her thin lips pursed into an angry line.

Petunia crossed her arms and tapped her foot at her sister, looking years younger than nineteen.

"Yes _and?_ " Lily asked, looking confused. "I left them there last night. I was cleaning out my trunk."

Petunia's face turned red as she grew angrier, making her blonde hair look like it was sprouting out of a very narrow tomato.

"Well don't!" she spat. "Don't you realize that not everyone needs to know about you and you're dirty little secrets? Vernon is coming over for dinner tonight. What if he had _read_ them?"

Lily rolled her eyes, and I knew why. All Petunia had spoken about all summer was her precious boyfriend Vernon Dursley, a plump pompous boy who worked for a drill company. Petunia had so forth, _refused_ to tell him about Lily being a witch, despite everyone's advice, and was making it her mission to keep it quiet.

"I didn't realize Vernon had such an interest in wizarding world news, Petunia," I told her, cutting into the pancake in front of me. "I think I've got an extra copy of History of Magic lying round if you want to give it to him."

Messing with Petunia was one of the most entertaining parts of staying at Lily's for the summer. She had always had a particular hatred for me, something Lily thought might have to do with the fact that I had come from a wizard family. She despised Marlene too, maybe even more than me. (Mary seemed to be the _only_ she didn't hate vehemently.)

Petunia balled her hand into fists, clenching so tightly her knuckles turned white. "I wasn't speaking to you, _Dorcas_ ," she said smirking slightly. She relished in any opportunity to use my given name, ever since Lily had let it slip that I hated it.

"Are you incapable of being polite?" Lily demanded fruitlessly.

"To you two? Yes."

"Lily's right. There's no need to be _rude_ , Tuney," Mr. Evans implored sternly, his emerald eyes, the one's Lily had inherited, narrowed at his eldest daughter.. "Doe was only making a joke."

"Then she's got about as much sense as this one." Petunia pointed a long accusing nail at Lily.

"Stop it Petunia!" Lily hissed at her sister, looking like she was about to burst into tears. "I didn't mean to leave them out, okay? I'm sorry!"

It was strange seeing Lily so reserved. She was the one who normally had no problem shouting at anyone who was being unreasonable. Petunia seemed to be the only exception. It made me dislike her sister even more.

"You're _sorry?_ " Petunia rolled her eyes. "Well I'm _sorry_ I have to live with a such a _freak!_ "

Lily looked immediately like she had been slapped. Her eyes were swimming with tears. Petunia smiled, knowing she had found the right insult.

"Honestly, Petunia. That's enough," Mr. Evans said dropping his paper on the table. "Apologize to your sister!"

"Why should I?"

" _What_ is going on in here?" Mrs. Evans asked, pushing her way into the dining room with a serving tray full of kippers in her arms. "I heard yelling."

"Just the usual," Lily answered morosely. "Petunia being cruel."

Mrs. Evans sighed, placing the plate down on the table. Despite the look of disappointment she wore, Mrs. Evans was still very striking. She had very tiny, symmetrical features, and the same complexion and dark red hair as Lily.

"Do you two have to fight?" she implored. "Petunia you're away at school now. We never get to see you. And Lily's gone most of the year. Would it be _so_ hard for you two to just be kind to one another while you're here?"

Petunia scowled. "I try, Mother. I do, but-"

" _Please_ ," Lily cut her off. "You don't try." Petunia shot her a look of loathing.

"I'm not going to sit around and take this," Petunia said shaking her head and moving away from the table. "Mother, Father. I'll see you _two_ tonight for dinner with Vernon."

She grabbed her coat angrily off the hook by the door. "And I don't want to see either of you," she pointed an angry finger at Lily and I, " _Anywhere_ _near_ this house tonight. You are uninvited!"

She tore from the room, and Mrs. Evans took off her apron before following after her eldest daughter. Mr. Evans sighed and took a final sip from his orange juice, before joining them.

"Was that supposed to upset me?" Lily asked me crumpling her napkin roughly. . She was shaking her head so hard her ponytail swished through the air behind her as she got up from the table.

"When it comes to Petunia, who knows," I said with a shrug, as I followed Lily out of the room. Petunia was one of the most unreasonable people I'd ever come across. Nothing she did ever made sense to me.

"I'm _glad_ I don't have to sit through that ridiculous dinner with her," Lily said frankly, her eyes still wide. "Especially if she's going to act like _that._ "

Lily rolled her eyes as she climbed the stairs up to her room. She was clearly trying to convince herself she was fine, but her eyes were still swimmy. I knew how much Petunia's disapproval hurt her. Lily _loved_ her sister, even if it was unreciprocated now.

"I'm really sorry she's acting like that, Lily," I told her truthfully, flashing her a sympathetic smile. "Maybe with time, she'll come around."

"It doesn't matter," Lily said firmly, pushing open the door to her bedroom with a renewed sense of strength. "I'm not going to _make_ her like me. I don't need her. I have _you_. And Mary and Marlene."

She plopped down backwards onto her bed with a hearty sigh, as I curled up on her blue circle chair.

Lily's room was one of my favorite places in the world. It was the kind of room that oozed the personality of the person who who lived in it, as well as being beautifully decorated. It had a very vintage feel to it, with colorful floral wallpaper, a painted mint dresser with white drawers, and a curtained window seat littered with throw pillows. She had an small white iron bed against one wall, weighed down with several quilted comforters, and stuffed animals, that she laid on now, calming herself down.

Lily's favorite part of her room was the corner, where a wooden vanity and ottoman were littered with beautiful scarves, hats and pieces of clothing she had acquired over the years.. _My_ favorite part was her wall of books, in front of which she had placed a comfy chair and a tiny table with her record player. She had _several_ wooden crates filled to the brim with muggle records, and I love sitting on the carpet reading through them.

Both of our Hogwarts trunks were shoved in the corner by her wardrobe, where they would stay until Lily and I got the energy to finally clean them out and pack for the upcoming year. Something we always waited until the last minute to do.

"I'm sorry Petunia had to be rude to you too," Lily said from her bed, clutching a brown stuffed bear with zeal. "She's normally is better at _pretending_ not to be a jerk."

"Don't be," I told her waving her off, as flipped over Lily's _Rolling Stones_ album. "It's not _your_ fault. And anyway Regulus was even ruder to me. Petunia at least doesn't call me a _half-blood._ "

"Only because she doesn't know what it means," Lily giggled rolling onto her stomach to face me. "If she didn't hate magic so much, she'd love to have another way to insult us both."

She smiled for a moment and then frowned. "Does this mean we _finally_ have to talk about Sirius now?" she asked with a sigh.

"I did give you an entire day before freaking out, didn't I?" I asked hugging one of her pillows to me. It was embroidered with pictures of cats on it.

She sighed. "I suppose you did."

I had wanted to corner her about it the night before, but I had just barely told her what happened when he showed up at the orphanage, when she begged me to wait another day before we talked about _any_ of the Marauders, Sirius included, and instead we stayed up half the night catching up on every else.

"Go ahead," Lily said wistfully, pretending to rest the back of her hand and on her forehead "I can take it."

"How could you tell him where I was?" I said, chucking the pillow at her. She dodged it expertly, sacrificing the stuffed bear instead.

She raised an eyebrow at me as she sat back up. "Why does it matter?" she asked lightly. "Didn't you two make up? He showed up and gave some dramatic soliloquy and then you forgave him. Merlin, Doe. You went over to his house, after all."

"Sort of," I frowned at her, finding it eerie that she knew us both well enough to be that right about what had happened.

"But you didn't know I was going to forgive him," I reminded her. "I could have just easily been more angry he showed up."

Lily gave me a knowing smile. " I _knew_ you would forgive him, Doe. Much as I dislike it, you two have a strange connection. You understand each other."

"Only in certain ways," I reminded her. "You're still my _best_ friend."

"Oh don't worry, I _know_ ," said Lily, and tossed her mane of hair over her shoulder confidently. If I thought he was encroaching on my best friend status I'd have jinxed him months ago."

"Good to know, Lils," I giggled, as she danced confidently across her room to the dresser. We had started the arduous process of cleaning out her closet the night before, and now we're sorting the things out as we chatted.

"Any chance you want this?" Lily asked, holding up a short, collared dress with buttons down the front. "I don't like the way I look in blue."

"Definitely," I told her taking it excitedly. "I went through my clothes this summer and realized all I own is jeans and sweaters."

I did venture out of Diagon Alley long enough to buy a couple of new things, but they were few and far between. It felt strange being in the muggle shops by myself. I usually went with Lily or Mary. Sometimes Marlene if she wanted a laugh. She liked the tiny, spandex tops they sold downtown.

"Tell me about it," Lily said, reaching into her wardrobe to pull out a massive stack of woolen sweaters in various colors. "Grandma Evans _loves_ to knit."

Lily reached for something on the top shelf of the wardrobe and a shoebox came tumbling out, crashing open on the floor and covering the floor with letters.

There had to be at least fifty folded pieces of parchment in front of us, each of them were unopened with her name scrawled in tiny, messy handwriting on the front. I could tell just from the size that each one was very thick.

"Damn it," Lily swore, shoving her stack of skirts back into the closet with irritation, she grimaced at the letters like she hated them.

"Um. Lily?" I asked bending down to help her shove them back in the box. "Do you have a stalker you haven't told me about?"

"Something like that," she said, her voice gruff and irritated all of a sudden.

She shoved two or three of the letters, all of which were still sealed, back into the box and then gave up. She sat completely still, her eyes growing wide with sadness as she continued to stare at them like they might jump up and bite her. I didn't know what to do.

She wrapped her arms around her tiny knees and gave a deep sigh. "They're all from Severus."

"Oh," I said quietly.

Now I understood why she was looking at them like that. I quickly scooped up the remaining ones and shoved them back in the box, making sure the lid was tightly fastened, so she wouldn't have to see them if she didn't want too. I buried the box in the back of her wardrobe, behind a stack of old textbooks from primary school.

"He sends one practically every day," Lily said, sounding very frustrated. "That was after the first week were he sat on the porch all day. He would have stayed there all summer if Petunia hadn't threatened to call the Police on him. After that, he started sending the letters."

There was a heavy pain in her voice that made her sound years older than sixteen. Her face was fresh with betrayal, just like it had been the day that Snape had said that horrible thing to her. I couldn't imagine what she had to be feeling. It made me want to go straight to Snape's house and hex him right in that greasy nose of his. Or at least give it a good punch. It was only for Lily's sake that I didn't. She wouldn't want me too.

"Have you read any of them?" I asked her instead, watching her expression carefully.

Lily shook her head, and then rested in on her knees. "No. There's no point. He just wants to apologize and be friends again, but there's nothing he can say that will make it right. Why would I want to be friends with someone that secretly thinks I'm rubbish?" Her voice cracked.

"You're not rubbish," I said fiercely, moving to her side, and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "You're the complete opposite, actually. Honestly, Lils. I don't think I've ever met a kinder, more brilliant, compassionate person in my entire life. Why else do you think the entire castle adores you? Because you're a ginger?"

"That means a lot. It really does," Lily hiccupped as she started to giggle, wiping at the corner of her eyes with the back of her hand. "I wish Severus felt the same."

I bit my lip unsure of whether I should say what was on my mind. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel worse.

"I think he does," I started, deciding to be honest. "I really do believe Snape did care for you, Lily. But I also think he's attracted to the Dark Arts, and he knows that the people who will let him practice them are the same people who would call you the M-word. And want him to do the same. I think he choose them, over you."

I felt awful telling her this, but I felt she had the right to know. Much as I wanted to kick him hard in the shin, I didn't think Snape would ever actually hurt Lily. But he had aligned himself with people who would, and that made him just as bad.

Lily's eyes flickered quickly, "That makes quite a bit of sense actually." She chewed nervously on her nails for a moment, thinking it over and then nodded. "It doesn't really matter, either way, though, does it? We're still not friends."

"I suppose it doesn't," I told her softly, feeling her disappointment in the air.

Lily gave a careful nod and then smiled. "Let's talk about something else, okay? Something happier." She behind her and pulled out a rainbow striped halter top I recognized as once belonging to Marlene. It was so short, it barely covered what it needed to to stop it from being obscene.

"What are the chances I can get away with wearing this at school?" Lily joked, waving it suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows.

"I'd say slim," I told her bursting into laughter, "You'd give James Potter _and_ Professor McGonagall matching aneurysms."

Lily threw her head back into laughter, a fresh smile replacing any trace of sadness that had been there a minute before.

There was a clicking on Lily's bedroom window that interrupted our laughter. Three owls were hovering outside in the air, letters clamped in their beaks as they clicked noisily on the glass.

I recognized two of them as the brown school O. and the other was a jet black sleek one I was sure I'd never seen before.

"School Owls?" I asked as Lily opened the window to let them in. "You don't think those are our O.W.L. scores do you?"

Lily let out a squeal of nerves as the O.W.L.s ushered themselves into her room. She and I together un-tied the official Hogwarts letters from their legs with nervous fingers. The other owl, the dark one, had a handwritten letter with my name on it. I took it too, and decided I would read it after my scores. All three owls gave a hoot of appreciation and disappeared back out of the window.

Lily and I gave each other quick reassuring smiles before we ripped into the letters. The first page was simply a list of classes and their required textbooks for the upcoming year. Getting more anxious by the minute I flipped to the second page holding my breath as I read it.

 _Dorcas Meadowes has achieved:_

Astronomy: O

Care of Magical Creatures: O

Charms: O

Defense Against the Dark Arts: O

Divination: O

Herbology: E

History of Magic: E

Potions: O

Transfiguration: O

I let out a breath of relief. All O's and two E's was better than I had expected. I had known I would get at least an E in Herbology. I was just too bad at it, and the E in History of Magic was to be expected. I always had trouble keeping all of those names and dates straight. These were respectable scores. These were scores I could be an auror with. Lily let out a squeal of delight beside me, also pleased.

"How'd you do?" she asked, clutching her's excitedly. I could tell from the flush of her cheeks and her wide toothy smile that she was really pleased.

"Good. You?"

"Good."

I grinned. "You know somewhere Marlene is having a heart attack."

"I hope she did alright," Lily said chewing on her fingernails, worried for our friend. "I can't imagine how upset she'll be if she didn't."

Still silently hoping for Marlene, we switched scores and I grinned with pride. Lily had gotten all O's and one E in Transfiguration. It always had been the one subject she struggled in.

"Lily these are fantastic!" I cried happily. "These are Head Girl kind of scores."

"Thanks, Doe!" Lily smiled as she handed me back my paper. " So are yours. You got almost all O's too!"

"Except for History of Magic and Herbology," I said reading over them again. "But to be fair, I think I exceeded expectations in Herbology by not getting strangled by the plant."

"Or setting it in fire like you did in second year," Lily chuckled as she read through her required textbooks.

"I thought we swore to never speak of that?" I asked, eyebrow raised.

" _You_ swore. I would never agree to that. It was too funny."

She giggled as I ripped open my second letter. It wasn't official like the other one, and I recognized the hand-writing as soon as I opened it.

 _Doe,_

 _I know you're probably at Lily's already, but just in case you're not, I wanted you to know I've left home. It's a long story. Tell you more at school. If you need to write me, I'm at James'_

 _-_ _Sirius_

"Everything okay?" Lily asked, seeing the confusion and worry that spread across my features.

I nodded, offering her a smile to ease her worry. "Yeah." I handed her the letter so she could read it, and her raised as she did.

"He left home?" Lily asked blinking quickly. "What does that mean? He ran away?"

That was what I was thinking, knowing what I knew about his home life. But it wasn't my secret to share with Lily. As much as I didn't like keeping things from her. Sirius had trusted me, and I'd never do anything to betray it.

"I'm not sure," I told her quietly. "Whatever it is, I'm sure he'll tell me when I see him."

I did my best to smile through my worry, and distract myself once again with Lily as we decided on a movie to watch, but I couldn't shake the feeling that if Sirius had had to leave home, something was very, _very_ wrong.

* * *

"So explain this to me one more time," Mrs. Evans asked me a week later ,"You do or don't need a wand to perform Potions?"

Lily and I were sitting on the floor of her sitting room with our open school trunks packing everything up. We had gone to Diagon Alley a few days before to get our supplies but had been having so much fun we had waited until the last minute to pack everything else. We wouldn't have even been doing it now if we didn't have to leave for King's Cross in the morning.

"It depends," I told Mrs. Evans, knowing it sounded a bit mysterious. "Generally you don't need it all of the time, but they're usually one or two steps in every potion that require you to use the wand."

"So muggles can't then?" Mrs. Evans pressed, her kind face wracked with curiosity.

I shook my head. "I'm afraid not."

"Interesting," she said nodding her head along with her thoughts. "It's a bit like Chemistry isn't it?"

I chuckled, knowing that Mrs. Evans taught Chemistry at the local university. Mr. Evans taught there too, but his subject was botany. The reason for which, he had told me the day before, that both his daughters were named after flowers.

" _Mum_ ," Lily complained pretending to slam her head into her brand new copy of the Advanced Potion-Making.

"Well, it _is_ ," Mrs. Evans jokes, ruffling her youngest daughter's hair with a wide smile on her face. "You don't think it's possible that your skill with Potions could be inherited from me? I do have a PHD in Chemistry. It's very similar. It's all about mixing things together and following the recipe."

"Following a recipe?" Lily giggled. "Perhaps if you were a baker, I'd do even better."

"Oh, hush, you." Mrs. Evans said smiling softly and taking a stack of Lily's robes to fold. Watching the two of them, made my heart ache. The whole week I had spent with Lily and her parents had been some of the happiest I'd had in a long time, but it had also made my heart yearn for own my parents. I'd had nightmares about their death every night this week. Something I was doing my best to keep from Lily, but had a sinking suspicion she already knew.

"Pizza's here!" Lily's dad called jovially as he entered the front door with two boxes in his arms. "Can you help me with the plates, Lilypad? I'm soaked!"

"Course, Dad," Lily said jumping to her feet and helping her father in the kitchen. He was soaked from the rain. A storm had started earlier in the day, and the rain was now coming down very heavy, making the world outside look more grey than usual.

"What a beautiful picture," Mrs. Evans said, picking up the silver framed photo of my parents on their wedding day that laid on top of my folded uniform skirts.

"You should wrap it in a sweater for packing," she told me, taking one of mine and gingerly wrapping the frame with care. "My Mum taught me that when I moved into my first flat."

"I'd never thought of that," I said, glad for the advice. "I usually just hoped for the best."

Mrs. Evans offered me a kind smile. "My mum taught me that when I moved to my first flat and the movers had crushed all my frames. There was shattered glass everywhere. Though I suppose you two could always mend it. Such a beautiful magic is, isn't it?"

"It's amazing," I agreed.

Mrs. Evans reached out to give my shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Listen, Doe. I know I never had the privilege of meeting your parents, but I wanted you to know from a mother, that they would be _so_ proud of you. Lily's told me a lot of what you've been through, and I know it's not easy going on without them, but you're a smart, beautiful girl with a kind heart, and I think that would make them very proud."

I could feel tears forming in my eyes and i bit the inside of my mouth to keep them from flowing down my cheeks. Mrs. Evans was so like Lily, it made me realize that's where Lily's understanding and compassion had come from.

"Thank you, Mrs. Evans," I told her, my eyes still swimmy. "That means more to me than I can tell you."

Mrs. Evans smiled and gave me a quick hug. "Don't you think on it, Doe. And I want you to know that you are welcome here, any time okay?" I nodded and she gave me a soft pat on the back.

"Come on. Let's go get some pizza."

I spent the rest of my last night of summer eating pizza and playing monopoly with Lily and her parents. It was a dull, perfectly normal evening and I couldn't wished for anything better. When it got late enough that Lily and I were yawning every five minutes, we hiked upstairs and got in bed, talking in the dark until we fell asleep. I slept well that night, knowing that tomorrow, I'd finally be home.

* * *

It was still pouring rain the next morning.

It wasn't the kind of tolerable rain that often happened in London. The light drizzle that fell from a barely cloudy sky. No, this was the kind of torrential downpour that was so thick you couldn't see in front of you.

The sky was such a dark grey, it was almost black, broken up only by the occasional strike of lighting and loud crack of thunder. It was so loud and penetrating that Lily and I didnt even mind getting up and getting ready to leave. You couldn't sleep through it anyway.

We had to dress more warm than we usually did for this ride, opting for long sleeve shirts and jeans to keep from freezing. In just the time it took Lily and I to drag out trunks and bags to the trunk of Lily's father's car, were drenched.

"Only twenty minutes and then we can use a drying charm," Lily reminded me, as we shivered in the backseat, crowded around the heaters. "Finally make our wands useful again."

"Ah," I said closing my eyes and smiling. " _Magic._ "

Mrs. Evans had a morning class, so only Mr. Evans drove us to Kings Cross. The rain made it much more difficult and arduous a trip. It was falling in such heavy sheets it slapped against the windows of the car, sounding like wood rather than water.

Lily tried to convince her father to let us go into Kings Cross alone, but he had refused. "You think I don't know what's going on in your world,?" he asked, shaking his head, as we dragged our trunks into the station, dodging rain droplets the size of kittens. "There's no way I'm letting you go in there alone."

"I knew I should of canceled the prophet subscription," Lily whispered quietly behind him. "I think he's been reading them in the toilet."

"Next summer," I told her warningly, knowing that what was happening with You-Know-Who could scare muggles just as easily as witches and wizards.

By the time we got our trunks onto the trolleys and into the station, we were drenched. It looked like we had just gotten out of the shower.

"Five hundred more steps," I reminded Lily encouragingly as we headed for Platforms 9 and 10, shivering as we did.

Lily's dad said goodbye to us at the entrance to the Platform, distracting one of the workers with a question while Lily and I both darted through the platform.

Walking onto Platform 9 ¾ was like being hit with a stick of happiness. The second I looked around and saw all of the people from Hogwarts, all smiling and full of magic, it made my heart swell up twice as big.

"Feels good, huh?" Lily asked, her smile stretching wide as she took in the sights around here.

"Good doesn't do it justice," I said, watching as a toddler whipped past me on a toy broom.

The platform was more crowded than usual. It seemed as if everyone's parents had accompanied them inside, refusing to let them go alone. Gillian Goyle and Robert Dawson both were engaged in quiet disagreements with their families, urging them to leave, while other knew better than to fight them. It was clear why so many of them were here today. With the dark headlines that had crowded the prophet these last few months, all of them seemed too nervous to let their kids come without them.

Lily shivered beside me and then with a sly smile took out her wand. "Do you want to do the honors or shall I?" she asked happily.

"All yours, Evans."

Lily waved her wand quickly and cast the hot air charm on herself and then me. Instantly as If I stood under the world's largest hair dryer, my clothes turned dry and warm.

I ran my hands through my now perfectly dry, voluminous hair. "I _love_ magic."

It was as if it hadn't rained at all. Lily chuckled fanning out her own smooth, plait.

"Blimey it's crowded today," she said, trying to stand on her tip toes, "Do you see Mary or Marlene anywhere?"

It was hard to see much of anything with the crowds on the platform. Everyone was just a sea of people in cloaks, some too drenched from the rain to identify properly.

"I can't see anyone," I said, as a gaggle of people pushed past me and Lily almost knocking us over, "But they always find us. Let's load our trunks on the train."

Lily and I forced our way through the crowds to load our trunks onto the train, running into Alice and Rylie as we did. Rylie it seemed, had finally chopped off all of her hair, and Lily had just complimented her on it, when a booming, sultry voice behind us broke up the conversation.

"DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT. DROP YOUR WANDS!"

Marlene always had known how to make an entrance. She bounded forward still shouting, in a pair of shorts so tiny that they would have made Professor McGonagall raise a stern eyebrow. Marlene threw her arms around Lily and I, giggling with delight. She looked just as vivacious as ever. The summer had agreed with her.

"Marlene!" Lily cried with happiness as we all clunked heads, too happy to see one another to care.

"The Department of Magical Law Enforcement really has stepped up the quality of their recruits, haven't they?" I chuckled as Marlene hugged Lily and I tighter.

"They'd be lucky to have me," said Marlene, as she caught my eye and winked. " _Merlin_ , I missed you two. It felt like summer was never going to end. Do you know how boring the South of France is without you lot?" she said breaking up the hug.

"I missed you too," I told her, glad to be surrounded by them again. Being away from my friends was the worst part of summer.

"You found the South of France _boring?_ " Lily asked in disbelief.

Marlene's eyes glazed over. "You have no idea. I swear I almost broke the statute of secrecy just to hex Myra one good time…"

She shook her head, clearly still annoyed at the memory of her sister and then smiled again, pointing a finger at Lily and then one at me. "You're both look fit, _per usual._ " She grinned. "Now, tell me, didn't you do anything fun in Cokeworth?" She shimmied her shoulders suggestively, a salacious grin on her face.

"Does a monopoly tournament count?"

"Or seeing three movies in a row?"

Marlene was so disappointed it looked like it physically pained her. "No, it does not. Blimey, you two were in a village _full_ of Muggle boys and didn't even get into a little trouble?"

"The only boy I know in that whole village is Snape," Lily reminded her, her eyebrow raised.

Marlene wrinkled her nose. "Fair point. Good thing we're heading back to the castle. There's tons of options there." Her eyes were lit with the excitement, making me wonder who Marlene her sights had set on this year. "I'm going to get both of you boyfriends this year."

I laughed so hard at that I actually snorted, and Lily raised a quixotic eyebrow.

"Should we go and find Mary?" she asked, quickly changing the subject before Marlene started suggesting options.

"Oh, I _know_ where Mary is," Marlene said rolling her eyes, she turned and pointed to a secluded corner of the platform where Mary and Landon were engaged in a very enthusiastic round of snogging. They were wrapped so tightly around one another you almost couldn't tell who they were.

"Go Mary," I chuckled softly.

Marlene pretended to vomit besides me. "Is it too late to disapprove of _that_ relationship?"

"Yes."

"Definitely, yes."

Marlene sighed. "Fine. But they better control themselves this year. I don't want to walk in on my brother snogging in every corner of the castle."

" _Hypocrite_ ," I teased, and Marlene elbowed me in the ribs.

"Let's let her be," Lily giggled, moving us further down the train. "I'm sure she'll come and find us when she's finished snogging."

"Oi," Marlene said quietly, nudging me again. "Speaking of _snogging,_ Doe" A devilish smile appeared on Marlene's face and Lily snorted, suppressing a giggle.

"What are you talking about-" I stopped looking up to see _exactly_ what was making Marlene and Lily look so entertained.

Gideon and Fabian Prewett were approaching the train together, looking as handsome as usual. I felt my cheeks start to fill with color as I shifted nervously. Gideon looked especially good today. His hair was loose and long at his shoulders and it looked as if he had gotten taller. A white ferret was climbing happily across his shoulders. He always was good with creatures.

"Remember to _breathe_ ," Marlene teased beside me, looking delighted.

I blushed deeper. "Shut up, Marlene."

Fabian drifted off to say hello to Sturgis Podmore, and Gideon easily lifted both of their trunks onto the train a few feet to our right. When he looked up and saw me, he smiled.

"Doe," he said, dimples forming on his freckled cheeks. "How was your summer?"

I was very aware of Lily and Marlene's presence beside me, listening to my every word.

"It was great," I told him. "How was yours?"

Gideon beamed, his eyes focused very intently on mine. "It was excellent. Fabian and I went down to the Amazon Forest. You wouldn't believe the creatures they have there. They make the ones at school look tame." His face lit up with excitement and I felt Marlene's eyes boring into the back of my head.

"Speaking of which," I nodded at the ferret nibbling on a piece of his hair. "What happened to _Owl, Cat_ or _Toad_ , Gideon?" I teased lightheartedly.

Gideon smirked handsomely and tapped a gold pin on his sweater. "I'm Head Boy," he said with a wink, "and I _fully_ intend to abuse my power in order to keep a more interesting pet."

I hadn't noticed the pin before. The scarlet and gold badge glittered in the sun proudly. I wasn't surprised Gideon had been made head boy. He did everything right.

"In that case, can you abuse your power to get me access to that Prefect bathroom?" I asked mischievously. "I heard a rumor they have different colored bubble baths in there."

Gideon grinned, "I'll see what I can do."

"If you're handing out favors, Prewett, I'll take an extended curfew," Marlene called behind me. Lily smacked her in the arm and she yelped. "Fine, never mind. You prefects are _so_ annoying."

Gideon and I both laughed at the exchange, watching as Marlene and Lily narrowed their eyes childishly at one another.

"Your hairs longer," Gideon noted quickly, his dimples getting deeper.

"Oh yeah," I blurted nervously, impressed he had noticed. "I've been growing it out."

"I like it."

Now I was sure he could see my blush. People at the orphanage could probably see it from here. "Thanks, Gideon."

"Gid!" Fabian called loudly from his group, which now amassed Otto Bagman and Frank Longbottom too. "Get over here! You've got to hear what Bagman just said about the Irish Quidditch team!"

Gideon looked mildly annoyed at his twin. "I'll be there in a minute, Fabe."

"Come on! You can flirt with Meadowes later!"

Gideon looked a bit sheepish but managed to hide it with a knowing smile. "See you later, Doe."

All I managed was a nod, my head was spinning far too quickly for me to do anything sensible. Gideon stalked away towards his friends, leaving me with a squealing Lily jumping up and down at my side.

"Doe!" She shrieked excitedly. "Did you see that? He likes you!"

"That was some very purposeful flirting," Marlene agreed. "From _both_ of you. Blimey he's got better looking over the summer, hasn't he?"

I was still a little shell-shocked. "Do you think so?"

Marlene snorted, looking wiser than normal. " _Please._ You think boys notice things like whether your hairs grown if they don't want to shag you?"

Lily looked nervous. "I don't think he _just_ wants to shag her…"

"Well obviously not, Evans. But that's the point of dating eventually, isn't it?"

"I seriously worry about your judgement sometimes."

I could barely hear the two of them bickering anymore. My head was still repeating what had just happened on a loop. Was I just excited to be heading back to Hogwarts or did I really sense something between Gideon and I just then?

"Fine. Agree to disagree?"

"Deal."

Marlene had rounded back on me, resolving her disagreement with Lily.

"You know," she pressed evenly, teetering on her exceptionally long legs. "I'd get a jump on Prewett if I were you. I ran into Krysten over the summer and she let it slip that Emmeline likes him."

"Emmeline _Vance?_ " I groaned. Marlene nodded glumly, watching for my reaction.

I chewed nervously on my nail. That basically decided things. I wasn't going to get my hopes up where Gideon was concerned. Not if _Emmeline_ liked him. She was probably the prettiest girl at Hogwarts, except maybe Marlene. If she was interested, I had no chance.

"I don't think that matters," Lily said jumping immediately to support. "He likes you, and he seems serious about it."

"Did someone say _Sirius?_ "

Lily let out a low irritated groan, and I felt a wash of relief flood over me as a distraction arrived in the form of Sirius Black.

He had already managed to find James and the other Marauders. The four of them approached us, making Lily scowl and Marlene look pleased. I was grateful for him. It made it so that I didn't have to continue the conversation we were having before. That, and I hadn't seen him since the fateful trip to Grimmauld Place. I was glad to see him.

I had tons of questions to ask him about why he had run away and if he was okay, but I knew enough to know that those questions had to wait until we were alone.

"No one was talking about _you_ ," I chided him playfully, "you're so self-centered."

"I tell him that every day, but it doesn't seem to do much good," James added, as Sirius slung a lazy arm over my shoulder. Lily eyed it with contempt.

"It does plenty of good," Sirius said firmly, "It reaffirms my self-confidence."

"You have enough self-confidence for ten people, Sirius," Remus reminded him.

Peter shook his head. "Have you met him? It's at least _twenty._ "

"Why _not_ be confident if you're good-looking?"

"That's what I've been saying all along," Marlene mused, leaning back against the train with a confident grin on her face. It was easy for Marlene to say something like that. Even now, slightly damp from the rain, she looked like a Madam Malkins model.

Sirius turned back to me. "So Meadowes, missed me these last two weeks, have you? I bet it was unbearable."

I rolled my eyes. "More than life itself, Sirius."

"I knew it."

I chuckled, smiling until my gaze fell upon Lily. Her stance immediately changed, as if even her body could sense the frustration that the Marauders presence had on her. Her mouth pulled into a line and she crossed her arms, pointedly busying herself with the strap of her bag.

I had hoped things would be better between Sirius and Lily after she had helped us become friends again, but from the look on her face now, it was clear she still hated them all.

"Come on, Evans," James said confidently. "Do you have to look so miserable to see me? Can't you just once ask me how my summer was?"

"If you're around, I _am_ miserable," Lily said, gripping her bag tighter. "And to be perfectly frank with you Potter, I don't care what you did over the summer unless it was transfer to another school." She cast a frustrated look at James and then turned to Marlene and me. "I'm going to the prefect's carriage, I'll find you guys later." She strode off, not looking back once as she boarded the train behind a couple of Hufflepuff Seventh Years. James chuckled, staring after her. "I reckon she's starting to warm up to me."

"Fat chance," Marlene snorted.

"Don't be so negative, McKinnon, it could happen."

"Yeah the day I finally give Dearborn a chance."

Peter blinked, his long sandy blonde fringe falling into his eyes. "What's wrong with Caradoc?"

"What _isn't_ wrong with Caradoc?" Marlene asked, her tone a touch more annoyed than usual. I didn't know if it was her indifference to Caradoc's infatuation or hatred of Peter's stupidity that was stronger.

"Poor mate," James chuckled. "I heard him tell Nora Tenenbaum he's going to try out for the Quidditch team this year. I'll try not to be too hard on him. Fair Captain and all. He's got enough to deal with when it comes to Marlene."

"Captain?" I asked, my mouth hung open. "As in _Quidditch_ Captain?"

James nodded eagerly, looking rather proud of himself and pointed to the Captain Badge he wore on the front of his t-shirt.

"Wow." I was shocked. Landon McKinnon had been Captain the year before. Professor McGonagall must have thought he did a really terrible job if she gave it to James while Landon was still at Hogwarts. Truthfully, Landon hadn't been the best Captain we'd ever had. He was a good seeker, but a poor leader. James would probably be better at it, but I still felt for Landon.

"So that's why Landon was in such a mood when the letters came," Marlene said. "He nearly stunned Carmichael over the last kipper."

"Landon will be fine," James said quickly, waving her off. "He's a good seeker. Now, he can focus on that."

"And maybe we'll finally win," I said hopefully. It would be nice to watch a house Quidditch game that didn't make me depressed.

"Here, here," Sirius agreed.

It was nearly eleven now and the Platform had cleared out mostly. Only a few stragglers remained and a crowd of nervous looking parents. Marlene led us onto the train, with the Marauders trailing behind.

"Is it just me or does there feel like more people than usual?" Marlene complained as we pushed our way down the corridor, seeing compartment after compartment, all full.

"We usually get on earlier," I told her, moving out of the way to avoid being knocked over by a couple of overly enthusiastic first years.

It wasn't until the back of the train that it started to clear up. One compartment held only Caradoc Dearborn and Xenophillius Lovegood, and Marlene threatened to throw herself off the train if we sat in it.

And I threatened to hex her into next week when she suggested I find a seat in the compartment that housed Gideon and the other 7th year Gryffindor boys.

The only empty compartment ended up being at the end of the train, one of the larger ones, meaning we'd have to share with the Marauders. I could already hear Lily's voice in my head, knowing how furious she'd be when she came back to the train to find _this._

"Excellent," Sirius said, pushing into the compartment after Marlene and I. "We're going to be cozy."

Remus dropped his school bag and left for the prefect's meeting, leaving the rest of us to get settled.

I let Marlene take the window seat and sat beside her as the Marauders crowded in too. It was definitely going to be a _long_ train ride with the four of them. Sirius I could handle but hanging out with all four Marauders was always a feat.

"Where's Macdonald?" Sirius asked plopping down in the seat beside me. "Don't you lot usually like to keep your foursome together?"

"You make that sound so dirty," Marlene mused. 'That's _my_ job."

"Get better at it then," Sirius waved her off, and turned back to me, eyebrow raised, waiting for an answer to his question.

Before I could answer, Mary came bounding into the compartment out of breath. "It took me forever to find you lot. Did you choose the furthest compartment on purpose?" She took one look around at the Marauders and grinned. "Lily is going to flip."

She plopped down beside Peter and caught her breath, still flushed and smiling.

"You think you'd have better lung capacity after all that snogging," Marlene chided her lightheartedly.

Mary grinned at her. "Don't worry, Marlene. I still think you're the hottest McKinnon at Hogwarts."

"You better."

"Blimey I love birds," Sirius said.

"Truer words have never been spoken," I said.

The train started to move, chugging through the countryside, but none of us could see anything through the windows. The rain was still coming down too thick and heavy, slamming against the blackened windows.

"Cheery first day," James said sarcastically watching the rain splatters morosely.

"Better let up soon," Peter said. "I don't fancy having to watch quidditch tryouts in this weather."

"It's going to ruin my hair," said Marlene, running her hands through her golden tresses. She turned to me frantically. "Tell me you know some sort of water-repellent charm for the carriage rides, or I'm going to eat my wand."

"I've got you covered," I told her taking out a copy of the daily prophet and opening it to the first page.

"Have I ever told you that I love you? Because I do," Marlene said gratefully, resting her head happily on my shoulder.

She kept her head there, digging out a copy of Witch Weekly from her purse. She read them religiously. I'd never seen an issue she hadn't read.

"Did you hear Xeno Lovegood fancies Pandora Rabnott?" Mary asked aloud to the group, looking delighted. "I heard he sent her a shrunken head over the break."

"A shrunken head?" Sirius chuckled. "That bloke has a thing or two to learn about the art of flirting."

"Xeno and Pandora?" Marlene's voice rose. "What a pair of loons. Can you imagine if they got married and had kids? They'd be the oddest ones at Hogwarts."

"If anyone's getting married and having kids it'll be me and Evans," James said, twirling his wand in his hands. His face was very steady. Sure, somehow. I had to give James props for his unwavering belief in him and Lily. Even if it seemed like it would never happen.

"Keep the dream alive, Prongs," Sirius said.

Peter sighed deeply from his seat. "If Xenophillius Lovegood gets a girlfriend before me I'm going to throw myself off the Astronomy tower."

He looked pitiful, resting a hand against his round face. He glanced at both Sirius and James looking slightly envious. I supposed that having best friends like them, attractive and well-liked, would make Peter feel a bit inferior. It how I sometimes felt being surrounded by people as pretty as Marlene, Mary and Lily.

"You can do better than a Hufflepuff anyway, Wormy," Sirius said, leaning back and kicking his feet up on the compartment doors. "We'll get you a proper girlfriend. A Gryffindor or Ravenclaw."

" _Hey!_ No Hufflepuff hate," I said to him, not looking up from the prophet to eye him. "We like Hufflepuffs."

"I never said I hated them, Meadowes," Sirius pressed confidently. "I just meant that they can be a bit irrelevant at times."

"Maybe it's by choice," Peter offered, not looking up from his open book. "You can't be anyone's enemy if you're not on their radar."

"Fair point, Wormy," James said.

"I have those every now and again," Peter chuckled, turning back to his copy of _Confronting the Faceless._

We spent a good chunk of the train ride chatting quietly, while I made my way through the prophet. Marlene, Mary and I spent half the time talking about Mary's trip to America, and then moved on to the O.W.L.s. Marlene had very proudly announced that she had only failed divination, history of magic, and potions. "And who would want to continue in those anyway?" she boasted.

The lunch trolley rolled by soon after and the six of us took out our money bags buying an assortment of treats from the cheerful witch and snacking on them happily.

"I don't think I've ever loved anything as much as I love Pumpkin Pasties," I moaned letting the pastry melt on my tongue.

"Even us?" Mary asked, popping a chunk of Pink Coconut Ice into her mouth looking amused.

I took another delicious bite of pumpkin and cinnamon. "You guys are definitely a close second."

"I don't know how you eat those," Sirius said shaking his head at me. "Not when there's these." He held up a licorice wand and took a veracious bite from it.

I wrinkled my nose. "Disgusting." I took my wand and cast a simple levitation charm on the wrapper watching it float and hover in the air for a minute. It was the first spell I'd cast in months and it felt so good to use magic again. I could have kept the wrapper levitating for hours, just feeling the wonderful control that spell-casting had, but Marlene's owl screeched quietly and made me lose my concentration, and the wrapper fell to the floor.

"Your taste is candy is just as questionable as your taste in hobbies, Meadowes," Sirius said watching the wrapper with a raised eyebrow.

James, Peter, and Mary were engaged in a quick trading session of chocolate frogs, bickering lightheartedly about the worthiness of a Bathilda Bagshot card.

"I wish I knew how many calories were in this," Marlene hummed, plopping a sugar quill into her mouth.

"Worried about getting round in the middle?" James teased, swallowing another chocolate frog whole. It was at least his third, and Sirius was on his fourth licorice wand. I was amazed by how much boys could eat.

Marlene sneered back at James. "Have a few more of those and you're not going to fit on that Captain broom of yours, James."

Sirius snorted. "She's got you there, Prongs."

James and Sirius started a rousing conversation about which one of them was the superior quidditch player that made Mary roll her eyes and bury herself in Marlene's magazine.

"So, _this_ is why we don't sit with them," Marlene complained as James started to compare the positions of beater and chaser, and Sirius tried to compare the beater's bat to a piece of male anatomy.

"Makes you miss girl time, doesn't it?" I asked her, as she threw her legs over my lap with a sigh.

"It makes me want to kick them out of the compartment," she grinned mischievously. "Got any new jinxes you're dying to try out?"

"I'm saving _those_ for Rabastan," I said firmly, feeling the familiar dread as I knew I'd inevitably run into him in a few hours.

"He's such a slimy little git," Marlene said, frowning as she played with the end of her hair. "It's too bad he's awful, though isn't it? He's so good-looking."

I had to resist the urge to shiver at her words. Logically, I knew Rabastan was handsome, but it was something I hated to think about.

"In a twisted, evil sort of way," I thought miserably.

"Oi," Sirius called to us. "Did I hear you two correctly? Marlene you really will bed anything won't you?"

"You're one to talk," Marlene fired back, looking proud. "You're numbers twice as large as mine, Black."

"That's because women are infatuated with me," Sirius said cockily, tucking his arms behind his head. "They practically throw themselves at me."

Marlene rolled her eyes, "How do you _stand_ him?" she asked me.

"Copious amounts of patience and understanding," I said.

Sirius snorted besides me. "Hush, Meadowes. You _love_ me."

The door to the compartment opened quickly with a tiny thud, and Lily's body filled the doorframe, shifting uncomfortably. Remus was behind her, both of them white-faced and nervous. I knew something was immediately wrong because she didn't even take a moment to complain about sharing the compartment with the Marauders. She and Remus just took the empty seats looking worried and quiet.

Marlene raised one of her perfect eyebrows in confusion, and Sirius and I exchanged a quick look.

"Merlin, I know being a prefect is boring, but could the meeting really have been _that_ bad?" Marlene asked, resting her head on the window behind her. Remus and Lily were both still quiet.

I knew immediately from her face that this was more than a bad meeting. Lily looked stricken.

Lily looked up solemnly, her green eyes wide and full of anguish. "It wasn't the meeting," she said quietly.

"What happened?" I asked her, growing more worried by the second.

Lily's bottom lip quivered, like she was about to burst into to tears. James was shifting in his seat like he wanted to jump to his feet and console her. Remus seemed to notice this, his kind face filling with empathy, and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"It's the head girl," Remus managed. "Tydie Fuller."

Tydie Fuller was a perfectly nice Hufflepuff girl who made a name for herself in the castle by helping to organize the gobstones club and always being kind to first years. I couldn't possibly see what Tydie could have done to upset them both like this.

"Fuller?" Sirius asked, grinning mischievously. I knew Tydie was one of Sirius' more frequent bedmates.

"Down boy," James joked, making Sirius hoot with laughter. Right, because he's a dog. Clever.

"What's wrong with Tydie?" I asked Lily, ignoring the clapping on the back that was happening behind me.

"There's nothing wrong with Tydie," Lily whispered, her eyes brimming with tears. Her chest started to rise and fall, and she began to cry. The feeling overcame her, and she buried her face in her hands.

"Lily?" Mary called nervously, as I moved towards her.

Now James looked like he was going to burst out of his skin. "Evans? You're really freaking me out. What's wrong?"

Remus left out a lofty sigh, seeing that Lily was too overcome with tears to manage anything sensible.

"The Head Girl was supposed to be Cessa Urquart," Remus said softly, "But they found her and her entire family dead yesterday morning."

The entire compartment went silent and the only sound that could be heard was Lily's soft cries and a heavy crack of thunder outside of the train.

I knew why everyone had gone immediately silent, unable to speak. Cessa Urquart was a muggleborn. The year hadn't even officially started yet, and one of our classmates had already been killed.

The war had officially begun.


	26. Chocolate and Venison

**Authors Note: Hey Guys! I LOVE seeing your reviews, so please keep them coming. It's fascinating seeing what you like and what you don't. This chapter is on the shorter side but that's because the next one is really long. Hope you guys enjoy!**

26

Chocolate and Venison

The rest of the train ride was much less exciting than usual. The news of Cessa Urquart's murder had devastated everyone, especially Lily and Mary, who spent the next hour crying softly into either Marlene and I's shoulders.

James and Sirius made it their mission to distract the rest of us from the horrible news, starting a very engaging game of exploding snap that made even Lily perk up a bit. Any trace of resentment she seemed to be harboring towards James was put aside for the rest of the ride. It seemed to have hit her that there were bigger things to worry about than James. She had even thanked him when he offered a chocolate frog. Something that made Sirius nudge me in the shoulder to watch.

When the train did stop in the station, the rain was still so thick that the everyone had to dart out as quickly as possible in order to avoid the rain drops that seemed to have grown to the size of Jack Russell Terriers. Some of the younger students whose charms work wasn't as advanced were getting soaked as they attempted to jog to the carriages. Dirk Creswell and Tiberius McLaggen both looked as if they had been thrown in the Black Lake as they shoved into the carriage beside an equally soaked Elena Eldritch.

Even through the soaked, raging sky, I could still make out the outline of the Castle up ahead, and the sight made my heart swell up. It felt good to be home, even under these circumstances.

"This is bloody miserable," Marlene said, as the four of us crowded into the closest empty carriage. The rain was incredibly heavy, and it took both Lily and I's combined impertuable charm to keep the rain off of our heads as we darted through the thick puddles.

"Imagine having to ride in the lake tonight," I shuddered, looking at the collection of soaked and shaking first years gathered around Hagrid's waist. You could hardly make them out through the buckets of falling rain.

"I bet they're freezing," Mary said shaking her head as our carriage started to move. "You think they'd have a better system for when it rains."

"It's tradition," Lily reminded her. "Though it does seem unfair."

"Maybe McGonagall will dry them off before the sorting," I suggested, trying to keep our charm undisturbed as the carriage began to bob along down the winding road to the castle.

The cobblestone road took us through the dense forest, splashing through thick muddy puddles as it went. It was hard to hear anything sensible over the sound of raindrops spattering against the trees or the constant cracks of thunder, so the four of us sat huddled around one another, shivering from the cold.

It was a relief when the carriages pulled up in front of castle in front of the sneering face of Argus Filch.

"He looks more miserable than usual," Mary snorted as a soaking wet group of Hufflepuff third years jogged past him, leaving puddles as they did.

"I hope they get mud all over his precious floor," Marlene chuckled, watching him eye her with disappointment.

She threw her arms over Lily and I's shoulders, pulling us into a close hug as we made our way through the castle and to the Great Hall.

The doors to the Great Hall were open and inviting, and we could feel the warmth as we approached, grateful after the frigid ride we had just experienced.

The ceiling of the Great Hall was stormy and dark, perfectly matching the sky outside, including every strike of lighting and crack of thunder.

As students crowded into the room, talking loudly among their mates it was clear how many people had not yet mastered any of the water-repelling charms. Everyone below a fifth year was soaked through their robes, as the older years watched on looking mildly entertained.

"Poor things," Krysten Morris joked mischievously from the end of the table, where she Nora Tenenbaum were perfectly dry. They watched the soaked younger students with interest.

"You're mean, Krysten," Otto said, as the Seventh-Year boys joined them. "You were in their shoes once."

"Yeah?" she asked. "And I was cold too."

"Being mean gives you wrinkles, Krysten," Hestia told her, plopping down in between the Prewett twins. "Just remember that."

"Like Krysten knows how to be nice," Marlene snorted under her breath as we took our usual seats at the house table, wringing out her hair. Our charm had started to falter a bit at the end of the trip, and now we were damp. Mary laughed so hard, she had to bury her head into her arms.

I flashed Marlene a sly smile. "I thought Krysten was your _friend_?" I asked her, wrapping my robes tighter around myself to block out the cold.

"She _is_ , but she's also kind of a bitch."

This made Lily giggle so hard that Krysten looked in our direction for a half a second before Otto distracted her with talks of a concert they had gone to over the summer.

"Oh no," Lily said quickly, her eyes widening immediately. "Look at the Ravenclaw's. They're all crying."

All four of our gazes drifted to the Ravenclaw table, where every last one of them looked solemn and depressed. Some of them, where resting their heads on the table and others were wiping tears from their eyes. The news of Cessa Urquart's death had taken the hardest toll on her house, and every one of them seemed to be feeling the full extent of the pain.

Cessa's closest friends, Catherine Chang and Petra Vane were loudly sobbing into one another's shoulders. My heart ached for them both. I couldn't even imagine what I would do if it had been one of my friends. My hands actually started to shake at the idea of losing Mary, Marlene or Lily. It was unimaginable. A few feet away at the Hufflepuff table, Tydie Fuller looked very uncomfortable.

"I feel _so_ badly for them," I them softly, shaking my head.

Marlene gave a deep sigh. "I know. It's awful. I can't believe we'll never see her again."

"I liked Cessa," Mary added, chewing on the end of her nail.

Lily was very quiet now, staring at the Ravenclaw table with a far-away look on her face. "I can't understand why someone would do that," she whispered angrily. "Why being a Muggleborn is so offensive to some people that they feel they have to kill them."

"It's because some people are a bunch of misguided prats, Lily," I told her. "You can't rationalize behavior like that."

"There's always bigots," Marlene agreed. Mary sat, listening, looking very anxious.

"But it's just so awful!" Lily said, growing more frustrated. "And it's not going to stop. It's getting worse. Look at all the stuff that's been in the prophet. All the disappearances and the murders? Do people really think it's just going to resolve itself? I don't see how it can when You-Know-Who only seems to be _gaining_ followers."

Her words made me look up at the Slytherin table unconsciously. I noticed most of them seemed to be in a perfectly fine mood. As if the news of their classmate's murder hadn't affected them at all. And why would it? I thought miserably, my hand gripping the end of the table. After what we overheard the year before, more than half of them would be joining up. Rabastan Lestrange was smiling as if this were any other feast. In fact, most of the sixth and seventh years looked pleased, with the exception of Emmeline, who kept her head down. Snape also looked miserable, something I thought he deserved.

"We're going to figure this out, I promise," I told Lily, my eyes trained on the group of giggling Slytherins. "People who are fundamentally wrong never win in the end."

"I really hope that's true," Mary added morosely. Her eyes were back on Cessa Urquart's friends.

All across the hall, conversations were split. Half the students were gossiping about what happened to Cessa in quiet voices, reveling in the grief, and the other half seemed to be intent on pretending nothing had happened, opting to discuss the happier topic of the upcoming school year.

" _Ugh!"_ Marlene complained loudly. "Elizabeth and Narcissa just walked in. I was hoping they had failed all of their O.W.L.s and had to drop out."

"No such luck," I muttered miserably, as Narcissa and Elizabeth sat down at the Slytherin table, looking haughtier than usual.

When Narcissa caught our gaze, she grimaced and whispered something that made Elizabeth laugh loudly.

"Don't let those two ruin your evening," Lily said, extolling wisdom. "They're not worth it."

"Might be worth it to hex them once or twice," Marlene muttered quietly in my ear, making me smile. Sometimes, Marlene and I thought very similarly.

"I hope they have those sprinkled caramel apples again this year," Lily said hopefully, changing the subject before Marlene or I said something that would offend her prefect sensibilities. "Oh! And those little Apple Tarts Mary likes."

"Merlin, I love them," Mary said, sneaking a quick glance at Landon across the table, that Marlene pretended to ignore.

"I want my own personal crate of pumpkin juice," I said.

"I'm starting to think you may have a pumpkin obsession," Mary pointed out. "First Pasties, now Juice. We may have to get you help, Doe."

"Never."

My friends burst into laughter, and the sound seemed to reawaken something inside me that I hadn't felt in a while. It had only been a few months since I had been here, but it had felt like forever. It was hard to feel anything other than happiness in the castle.

The sound was drowned out as the raucous laughter of four boys overpowered it. The Marauders had just entered the hall, later than everyone else and soaking wet.

"Look who finally decided to show up," Marlene said, rolling her amber eyes.

"Something tells me I don't want to know why they're all soaking wet," Lily mused quietly.

"I'd venture it's safer to say no," I reminded her, knowing what I did about Sirius.

The four of them plopped down in the seats besides us, still talking loudly about whatever had caused their late arrival. Sirius shook out his hair, spraying everyone within spitting distance with rainwater.

"Ew!" Marlene threw her arms up to cover her hair, and Mary dove under the table.

"Sirius!" I complained leaning away from him. "You're going to get us all soaking wet."

Sirius looked instantly thrilled, leaning towards me with a cocky smile. "That happens to be a skill of mine, Meadowes," he whispered cheekily.

Lily gasped, and James burst into even louder laughter, as Otto and Landon joined in. Peter was red-faced as he became overrun with giggles.

"Honestly, Padfoot," Remus said, looking disappointed.

I was far too used to Sirius' dirty sense of humor to even be phased by it anymore. It was expected.

"You have absolutely no filter on your thoughts, do you?" I asked him, shaking my head.

"It would be doing everyone a disservice to curb my thoughts," Sirius said honestly. "Why would I deny anyone that pleasure?"

" _For peace and sanity?"_ Lily suggested only quietly enough for Marlene and I to hear. It seemed the peace we had all experienced on the train was slowly dissipating.

James was still chuckling when, Remus looked up to the staff table and raised an eyebrow. "Who's that?" Remus asked, pointing to the teachers. "That woman by Professor McGonagall. Is that our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?"

The woman seated beside Professor McGonagall was older. Not quite as old as Marchbanks, but she had the same stern look about her. Her eyebrows were high up on her face, and her nose was very long and thin, making it look as though she was constantly surveying everyone in the room. Her haircut seemed to reinforce this idea. Her dark hair was very severe, sharply cut at her shoulders. She wore no makeup and robes of a deep mahogany.

"Blimey," James said. " _Another_ woman?"

"What's wrong with having another woman for a teacher?" Lily demanded, crossing her arms, ready to start an argument.

James picked up on the hostility in her tone almost immediately. "Nothing's wrong with it, Evans. It's just surprising is all. There's not a lot of women in Defense."

"Well there _should_ be," Lily huffed.

James grinned at her. "You and I happen to be in complete agreement on that, Evans. I am a feminist."

"Me too," Sirius added quickly, trying to diffuse the tension. "I happen to _love_ women."

"I don't think _that_ qualifies you as a feminist, Sirius," I whispered to him, making him grin.

"Well it should."

Lily narrowed her eyes at James trying to figure out whether or not he was joking and then turned her attention back to the rest of us.

"I wonder if she's any good," I said letting my attention drift back to the woman at the staff table, hoping she was. We were N.E.W.T students now and if I wanted to be an auror I really needed a good defense teacher. Marchbanks had been decent, but a little uninvolved.

"Hope so," Sirius added, tossing his hair up out of his face. "Marchbanks was boring."

"Very boring," James said. "We got one practical and that was it. Granted, she did pass most of the class. A wonder when you think about how stupid Thomas Nott is."

"I personally don't care," Marlene said confidently. "It never makes any sense to me anyway. I barely scraped by on that exam. Maybe I'll drop it."

"You can't drop Defense," Peter implored. "With everything going on right now?"

Marlene shot daggers at Peter with her eyes. She knew he was making a valid point.

"I'll tutor you if you need it, Marls," I reminded her. "Defense is all about the practice. You're good with spells."

I had personally helped Marlene study for her Defense exam and knew she was good at it when she really set her mind to it. I didn't mind helping her if that's what she needed.

"Take her up on it, Marlene," Sirius said. "I passed my Charms exam with flying colors thanks to Meadowes help." I beamed at the compliment.

James snorted across the table. " _Please_. I've been in the library with you two when you were 'tutoring' and all you do is talk."

"That's not true," I said, feeling a bit of color rise to my cheeks. "We got plenty done."

"It's a _bit_ true," Sirius reminded me, wiggling his eyebrows. "Oh, come on, Meadowes no one is insulting your intelligence or motivation. You should be thrilled we got so distracted last year. It built this beautiful friendship between us."

"Is it too late to go back?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him as my friends giggled beside me.

"Unfortunately. I think were too attached now." Sirius playfully patted the top of my hair. A few seats away, Gideon looked on his face unreadable.

The doors to the Great Hall swung open immediately and drew everyone's attention forward. Hagrid, soaking wet but smiling walked forward to the staff table, leaving great puddles of water in his wake. He waved affectionately at me as he passed, and I returned them happily. I hadn't seen him since the summer when we went to Diagon Alley together, and that had only been a short visit. He had had something to do for Dumbledore.

People seemed to relax at the sight of him, knowing the sorting was going to take place any second. Thankfully, Professor McGonagall walked in right after him, with a tiny line of shivering first years trailing after her.

"Oh, I love the sorting," Lily said, clapping her hands together as the tiny first years huddled at the front of the hall.

The sorting was a brilliant thing to watch. It was one of the things that fascinated me the most about Hogwarts.

The entire Hall went silent as the Sorting Hat was placed on the stool in front of us, and opened its mouth, beginning to sing. The song was short and simple, and the ceremony went on per usual. Some were sorted quickly, others took longer. One boy, Benjamin Turtlebomb took almost five minutes of deliberation before joining us at the Gryffindor table.

When 'Zaxil, Thomas" was sorted into Ravenclaw, McGonagall picked up both the sorting hat and the hat and moved them away from the floor.

When Professor McGonagall had taken her seat at the staff table, Professor Dumbledore had rose to his feet, met with an uproar of applause from every student in the hall.

He smiled a crinkled smile and raised his hand in recognition. "Welcome, Students, to another year at Hogwarts! Before we start with the usual Start of Term announcements, I would like to take this time now to discuss what has happened yesterday"

The hall was now absolutely silent as Professor Dumbledore looked on at the crowd of students assembled in front of him.

"As many of you already know, one of our own, Ms. Cessa Urquart of Ravenclaw house was murdered alongside her family. This senseless tragedy was committed because Ms. Urquart was a muggleborn, and there are people in this world who seem to believe that being Pureblood makes them better than someone else." Professor Dumbledore's eyes seemed to linger on the Slytherin table when he said this. There was no trace of sympathy behind his half-moon spectacles. The Slytherins seemed to be avoiding his look. Elizabeth Burke actually looked bored.

"I would like to make it _very_ clear, once and for all, that that kind of behavior will not be tolerated in this castle. Hogwarts school is your home. The students in this castle are your family. We love and protect our family. We do not sacrifice them to fulfill our own selfish desires for power. The ideology promoted outside of our castle by the Death Eaters will _not_ be tolerated here."

I'd never heard Professor Dumbledore sound so firm before. He had more power to him than I had ever realized. It made me respect him even more.

He smiled, "Now that that has been said. I'd like to discuss a few changes we have made this year. The first being I have decided after careful consideration, to reinstate trips to our neighboring village of Hogsmeade to all those third year and above."

Everyone in the hall burst into immediate applause, some like Otto Bagman stood on the bench and cheered in appreciation.

"Thank Merlin!" Marlene said. "I thought I was going to die without Hogsmeade trips last year."

"It did suck," I agreed.

"I just hope it's safe again," Mary whispered, looking decidedly less excited than everyone else. "I don't fancy having to go through what happened last year all over again."

Lily placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure Professor Dumbledore wouldn't have reinstated the visits unless they had taken precautions, Mare."

"Yeah. You're right."

The whole hall was once again whispering amongst themselves and Professor Dumbledore had to clear his throat in order to regain our attention.

"We also have had a change in staff this year. I would like to introduce you all to Ines Sayre, formerly with the Illvermony school. She will be graciously accepting the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor!"

The hall clapped again, and Mary turned around to look at us all confused. "Did he say Ilvermorny?"

Marlene nodded. "That means she's American." This looked like it annoyed her somewhat.

"She's not just any American," Lily told her. "The Sayre's _founded_ Ilvermorny."

"How do you just _know_ that?" James asked her in disbelief. "Do you remember _everything_ you've ever heard?"

Lily smiled. "Everything _important_." James frowned.

"Seems like an odd choice doesn't it?" Sirius asked, "I mean with what's going on right now. We need Defense more than anything. Why choose an American, with the way they botched the Grindelwald situation? You-Know-Who isn't even a problem over there."

"She must have some insight," I said. "Dumbledore wouldn't have hired someone useless. Not now. He knows the importance of good defensive training."

"I hope so," Marlene said wistfully. "Otherwise were all screwed."

Professor Dumbledore gave a few more notices about banned items, the Forbidden Forest, and Quidditch Tryouts and then announced the beginning of the feast. The second he did, the tables filled with mouth-watering food and drink. Everyone at the table dug in immediately, all starving from the long wait.

The food was fantastic, per usual, and a welcomed sight after what I had been eating in the orphanage for months. The roast pork actually melted in my mouth. I would never not miss Hogwarts food.

"Good lord," Mary said shaking her head as she bit into a green bean. Sirius had attracted an audience of giggling fourth year girls by flicking his wand and making a rotisserie chicken dance across the table.

I sighed. "He has the maturity of a first year sometimes."

"And yet, you became friends with him again," Marlene said, cutting the vegetables in front of her into very even tiny pieces. She was watching me very carefully. "Why is that exactly?"

Mary elbowed her in the ribs and gave a tiny almost imperceptible shake of her head, making me think they had discussed this without me.

"What can I say? I'm a softy," I told her plopping a carrot into my mouth.

"That's for sure," Lily agreed, offering me a tiny smile.

"Anyone have any lamb shanks over here?" A chipper voice asked as they dropped into the tiny space between Sirius and I.

"Amelia!" I said happily pulling her into a tight hug. "I'm so glad to see you."

Amelia chuckled, her massive, strawberry curls bouncing as she did. "I figured I should came say hello to you and spare you the embarrassment of having to see Odie Macmillan before the first day back," she teased, grabbing a roll off of my plate and taking a bite.

Marlene snorted into her pumpkin juice. "I almost forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me, Amelia."

Amelia beamed at her, still chuckling. "No problem. I could _never_ forget it. It's my favorite anecdote."

I rolled my eyes at the pair of them and then picked up a chip from my plate and tossed it at Amelia. It landed in her hair, caught between two of the curls. "What was that for?" she laughed, plucking it out without even looking.

" _That_ ," I reminded her, "was for not answering half my letters. I was starved for entertainment. I live in an orphanage remember? It's _mean_ to ignore your orphan friends."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't ignoring you," Amelia told me stealing another chip. "I was just really busy. Dad kept us moving all summer. And anyway, I'm going to consider it payback for lying to me about where you lived for the last five years."

I frowned. "Alright. Touché."

Amelia chuckled and patted me on the head, stealing another handful of fries as she got back up from the table. "I missed you, Doe. Find me tomorrow so we can catch up, okay?"

"Will do," I told her. She smiled as she pranced back to the Hufflepuff table.

"That's the only Hufflepuff who doesn't annoy me," Marlene told me, when she was gone.

I chuckled. "She'll be glad to hear that. She always wants everyone to like her."

By the time the desserts appeared on the table, Lily was in a very intense conversation with Nora Tenenbaum about the Slug Club while Marlene and Mary quieted debated the merits of Sleak-Eazy's Hair tonic.

"I think I may be sexually attracted to these chocolate frogs," Remus moaned, popping another one into his mouth. Remus' chocolate obsession was well-documented over the years. He passed the plate to me across the table.

"Those are about the _only_ things you're attracted too, Moony" Sirius joked. Remus' face flushed with color. "Oh, Ha. Good one, Padfoot," he said miserably. James gave him a clap on the back.

"Don't be mean," I whispered to Sirius, elbowing him in the rib as I handed him the plate. He looked at it almost offended.

"Are you trying to kill me, Meadowes?" he asked, with an eyebrow raised. He was eyeing the plate of chocolate frogs like they were the tip of a wand.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him, feeling extremely confused. "It's a chocolate frog."

Sirius nodded, looking informed. "And if I eat it, I'll probably die."

" _Excuse me?"_

Sirius looked amused now. He leaned over to me his lips practically pressed into my ear as he whispered, "I'm a _dog_ , Meadowes. Dogs can't eat chocolate, last time I checked."

Now, I got it. I laughed so loudly at the idea that Gideon looked up with interest, watching Sirius and I. I couldn't know that from his perspective, all he saw was Sirius whispering into my ear, as we both looked delighted.

"I'm sorry," I said trying to catch my breath, still having difficulty trying not to laugh. "That's the funniest thing I've heard."

"Glad to know my allergies amuse you, Meadowes," Sirius said pushing the plate of frogs away from him.

"Trust me, they do," I told him, holding my stomach, as I chuckled quietly.

I still couldn't keep from laughing. Smiling devilishly, I turned to James.

"So, no Venison for you then?" I asked.

Remus snorted into his pumpkin juice and Sirius threw his head back in laughter, placing his hand on my back as he chuckled.

James looked perplexed. "What is _wrong_ with you, Meadowes?"

"Lack of parental supervision, I'm guessing," I said biting into my own chocolate frog, still completely amused.

Across the table James looked delighted. "Merlin, you and Sirius are morphing into one person."

I shrugged, chomping happily on the chocolate. "I could do worse."

Sirius winked at me in response. Across the table, Marlene was eyeing us with a perfect raised eyebrow and kept throwing furtive glances our way the rest of the evening. Ones that I knew meant something. I just couldn't figure out what it was.

By the time the feast was over, everyone was exhausted and ready to get into bed, shuffling slowly out of the Great Hall very lazily.

"Why did you let me eat so much?" Marlene complained, clutching at her stomach and leaning onto Otto Bagman for support.

"As if anyone _let's_ you do anything, Marlene," Otto said shaking his head. I noticed Krysten was eyeing the two of them carefully. It made me wonder if Otto might be Marlene's pick for this year.

Marlene and Mary went ahead of us, wanting to wish their condolences to Cessa's friends, but Lily was still too upset to go over there, so she and I walked out of the Great Hall together a few minutes later, arm in arm.

"It feels good to be back, doesn't it?" Lily asked, as we walked into the Entrance Hall. "I missed this place."

"Me too," I admitted, looking at the walls covered in their familiar portraits. "It doesn't feel right when I'm not here,"

"Do you ever think about what it's going to be like when we have to leave?" Lily asked, staring up at the staircases above us with admiration.

"I try _very_ hard not to," I told her with a frown. The idea of being anywhere other than the Castle actually made me break out into hives. I didn't have a home of my own. This castle and the people inside it were my home. The thought of leaving was like losing my parents all over again.

Lily shook her head, a trace of a smile on her lips. "I think we're going to be fine," she assured me.

"Is that so?" I asked, amused at how assured she was.

Lily gave a fervent nod. "Yes. You'll be an auror, and I'll be at the ministry and we can rent a cute little flat somewhere with Mary and Marlene. That way it won't feel too different. We just won't have a poltergeist there."

We both ducked to avoid the stink bombs that Peeves was dropping on defenseless second years to our left. The Marauders were right behind us, and now attempting to send the bombs back at the Poltergeist. Neither seemed to be going very well and only causing the Entrance Hall to omit a foul smell.

"You've got it all figured out, huh?" I asked Lily, as we jumped out of the way of the closest one, which landed at her feat.

"Yes, I do," Lily beamed, whipping out her wand and incinerating the stink bomb with one quick spell.

" _LILY!"_ a frantic voice cried out her name, his voice echoing down the corridor. Lily's face, a second ago flushed and smiling, instantly turned to stone. The moment I saw him, robes billowing as he approached us, I knew why. I drew my wand, fearing the worst.

Severus Snape stopped right in front of us, panting from his run. His hair was greasy and long and he was as pale as usual. He was only looking at Lily, staring at her like he'd never seen anyone who he cared for more. It irked me instantly.

"I'm glad I caught you," Snape said quickly, speaking only to Lily. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Tough," Lily snapped beside me. Her voice hard and unsympathetic. She tried to push past him, but he stopped her.

"Did you get my letters?" he asked frantically. He had his hand on her upper arm, gripping it tightly. It made me want to hex his hand off.

"I didn't read them!" Lily demanded trying to shove him off of her. I knew for a fact that Snape's letters had remained unopened. I'd seen them, shoved in a shoe box in the back of Lily's wardrobe.

"Lily, _please_ ," he begged. "I just want to talk."

"She doesn't want to talk to you, Snape." I reminded him, preparing myself to step in if needed. After what happened last may, I was just looking for a reason to take out what I was feeling on Snape.

Snape's eyes narrowed. "I wasn't talking to you, _Meadowes,"_ he snapped, saying my surname like it disgusted him.

"Don't you dare be rude to her!" Lily yelled at him, "She's respecting my wishes. Unlike you!"

"What is going on here?" James demanded, coming up behind us with the rest of the Marauders. They all still had their wands drawn from their interaction with Peeves, and they looked a bit threatening as they did. James' eyes narrowed the moment he spotted Snape, and Snape's arm on Lily. Sirius looked entertained, like he wanted to start a fight between them. I noticed Snape's posture changed immediately the moment he spotted them. He was no longer pleading and sympathetic, he was reaching for his wand.

"What are you going to _hex us?_ " Sirius asked cockily, his eyes locked on Snape. The idea seemed to amuse him.

"Get your hands off, Evans," James ordered, ignoring Sirius. He seemed to be focused only on Lily and Snape. He didn't look at all like the joking James I'd seen at the feast. He looked serious now.

"I don't need you to defend me, Potter," Lily snapped at him, yanking Snape's arm off of her herself.

"Sure, looks like you do," James reminded her, sneering past her to Snape. They both looked like they wanted to murder one another, and I wasn't confident which one would win in that fight.

Lily's hands were on her hips now, and her face was lit up with frustration. "Well, I don't!"

Snape wasn't even looking at Lily anymore. He was only staring at James, his wand grasped firmly and his thin lips moving quickly like he already had a hex ready. Unfortunately, so did Sirius. I could already see the fight beginning to brew.

"This is between me and _him_ ," Lily reminded James. "No one asked you to step in. You've done enough. So, leave, before you make this worse."

"You want _me_ to leave?" James demanded incredulously. "He's the one who insulted you! Who humiliated you. And you want to stick around and talk to _him?_ "

"You think I don't know that?" Lily asked icily. "That he humiliated me? Because I do. But so do you, Potter! You never miss an opportunity to embarrass me. I'm trying to get you _both_ to leave me alone."

"I don't humiliate you," James said quickly, trying his best not to look hurt. " _He_ does!"

Snape's upper lip curled.

Sirius snorted, watching Snape raise his wand an inch. "Go ahead, Snape," he said coldly. " I dare you."

"Think I won't?" Snape hissed, his mouth dripping with malice. He raised his wand again, sneering at all of us.

"Just _leave!_ " Lily hissed at James and Sirius. "I can handle this!"

I knew the situation was only going to escalate from here. Both James and Sirius were looking at Snape like they'd like nothing more to than duel it out right here and now. That was the last thing anyone needed. Lily threw me a sympathetic look. I knew she could handle Snape on her own, but if the others didn't leave this was going to get ugly fast.

"Come on," I said, grasping Sirius and James both by the shoulder, trying to shove them out of the way. "Let's go."

Sirius looked at me like I had three heads. "Are you mad, Meadowes?" he demanded.

"We're not leaving," James added firmly.

"Oh yes, you _are_ ," I told them, shoving them both up the stairs towards Gryffindor tower. "Lily can handle herself just fine without you. She doesn't need anyone defending her honor."

Lily looked relieved, and Remus jumped to help me. We were halfway up the stairs when James and Sirius took the hint. James in particular, looked highly annoyed. He kept throwing furious glances down at the Entrance Hall.

"I'm going to bed," he said grumpily, stomping up the stairs like a child. Peter trailed after him quickly, desperate to comfort him. Remus followed too, sighing deeply. Sirius also looked annoyed, probably at the thought of missing out on a duel, but stayed on the same step as me, pacing angrily.

"Snape is such a little git," he hissed under his breath, waiting until the others were out of sight. He took the stairs two at a time, his long legs never faltering.

"This isn't news to me, you know," I reminded him, as I followed slowly. "He insulted my best friend. I hate him too."

"Then why did you stop us just then?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow at me. "Doesn't he _deserve_ to be hexed after what he did last year?"

"You have to pick your battles, Sirius," I said shaking my head. I almost lost my balance as the staircase immediately started to change on us.

Sirius threw his arm out to stop me from falling over, and we both gripped the railing. "Why can't I pick _every_ battle?"

"Because that's how you end up with battle wounds," I said, trying to readjust to the feeling of the moving staircases.

Sirius grinned. "That sounds bad-ass."

"No. That sounds stupid."

"You know what I love most about you Meadowes?" Sirius asked sarcastically, "you're unwavering kindness over honesty."

I rolled my eyes. "I would be boring if I weren't honest."

"You and boring don't even remotely fit in the same sentence, Meadowes. Trust me, _I'd_ know."

The staircase stopped on the third floor and the two of us headed back towards Gryffindor tower, forced into taking the long way. Sirius' mood had lightened significantly. He was practically skipping down the corridors, whistling as he went.

I didn't want to ruin his good mood, but now that we were finally alone I wanted to ask the questions that had been itching at me since I'd seen him this morning on the platform.

"So," I said after a minute. "Do you want to tell me why you ran away from home?"

Sirius gave me a knowing look. "You know when I'm stalking around the castle late at night with other birds, they don't want to ask me questions about my personal life. They want to snog."

I snorted. "That's probably why I'm you're _only_ female friend."

"Well you're different," Sirius said sitting down on the floor, his back stretched against the empty wall. "You're the only other person I like that much."

"That's flattering, you know." I told him sitting down beside him. "I care about you, Sirius. That's why I wanted to make sure everything was alright. Your letter worried me."

Sirius grinned mischievously. "You _care_ for me?" he asked cheekily, "Meadowes, if you want to sneak off to the broom closets, all you have to do is _ask_."

I kicked him in the leg. "Why do you _always_ have to ruin nice moments?"

"It's in my nature. Don't worry I do the same to Moony and Prongs. I really need uglier friends."

I rolled my eyes and Sirius sighed. "Oh, come on. You know it's funny."

He smiled for a minute before his face grew more serious.

He stared off into the wall in front of him for a minute, quiet. I knew immediately from the look on his face that he was thinking of home.

"I had to leave that house," Sirius replied miserably. "I didn't have a choice. The night I left, my parents and I got into a huge fight about what a blood-traitor I was. They were screaming about having to choose a side and sticking with a family values, and how ' _if I wanted to be a part of this family I needed to denounce the bloodtraitors and mudbloods I knew'._ "

Sirius' eyes glazed over. "They forced me to make a choice and I did, so I left. I couldn't take it anymore. I went to James'. His parents know what mine are like, so they didn't mind."

I suddenly didn't care that we probably breaking curfew or that Filch could come around at any minute. I held his hand in mine and let out a lofty sigh.

"Your parents really couldn't get any worse, could they?" I asked him quietly.

"Nope, I think they've really hit all the boxes on terrible parenting," he muttered miserably. "I've gone beyond letting it bother me, though. I just wish there was a way to stop Regulus from having to go through it. He doesn't even realize they're barmy. He's so desperate to make them proud, he'll do whatever he thinks he has too. Even joining the Death Eaters." Sirius sighed, and closed his eyes.

"I think Regulus might come around," I said honestly. "He really is young."

Sirius shrugged. "That's what Moony said, but I don't know. He really wants to please our parents." He shook his head. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. Good Riddance."

Sirius watched my face for a second. "Speaking of terrible, murderous families. Have you heard any more about your Uncle?"

The thought of Aubleus made my stomach knot up uncomfortably. I'd so far been able to go the whole day without thinking about him, but I knew the closer it got to sleep the closer the nightmares would me. Even Hogwarts couldn't keep those away.

I shook my head. "Not a peep. No one knows where he is or what he's doing."

Sirius frowned. "Sorry, Meadowes. That's tough."

I shrugged. "It's okay. Really. I've gotten used to knowing he's out there."

A distant sound of footsteps made us both jump to our feet. Sirius nodded his head towards the other staircase and we silently crept towards it, keeping our distance from who we knew was Filch, no doubt looking to start his year by catching students breaking curfew.

We didn't say anything again until we made it back to Gryffindor Tower and got a disapproving look from the Fat Lady.

Most of the house was still in the Common Room chatting happily and lounging when we got there. Even Lily was sitting on one of the couches with Marlene and Mary, surrounded by the seventh years, looking much more relaxed than she had been before.

"There you are, Doe!" Marlene called happily, as she spotted Sirius and I. "Lily thought James and Sirius might have murdered you for keeping them from a duel."

"Or you two were snogging in a broom cupboard," Mary suggested cheekily, leaning against Landon's arm. "One or the other."

Gideon, who was seated between his brother and Otto deep in conversation, looked up immediately at Mary's words. Something I was too distracted to notice.

Sirius snorted beside me, slinging an arm over my shoulder. "What can I say ladies? She simply _had_ to have me."

"Please. If I had snogged you, the only thing I'd _have_ is meningitis," I reminded him, plopping down beside Marlene. For a moment, I was reminded of the fact that I had snogged Sirius. I tried very hard to focus on something else as that memory flashed through my head. It had been a fantastic kiss.

"I _do_ love it when your cheeky," Sirius said happily, patting the top of my head. "Any of you seen James?"

Lily let out an impatient little huff. "If I had to guess he's probably upstairs, pouting."

Sirius flashed me a look of mild irritation at Lily and then disappeared up the stairs to the dormitory in search of his mates.

Lily let out a tiny yawn and then a few minutes later so did Marlene, so the rest of us decided to head upstairs too. It had been a long day, and we were all in desperate need of sleep. When we got there, Alice and Rylie were both busying themselves with hanging up posters behind their bed.

"I hate that hideous poster," Marlene whispered in my ear as we passed Rylie's giant glossy picture of the lead singer of Goblin Gang.

"It creeps me out every year," I shuddered, looking at the tiny hearts that Rylie had decorated it with.

The rest of us took our time changing into out pajamas and getting ready for bed. When we were all settled, the four of us curled up on Lily's bed, leaning against the posters as we talked. Mary spent fifteen minutes talking about her hesitation to start N.E.W.T level course work and Marlene detailed her plans to find a suitable boyfriend, that had all of us bursting into giggles.

Even though the night had a depressing edge to it, I couldn't have been more grateful to be back surrounded by my friends.

"I can't help but feel awful for Cessa's friends," Lily said a little while later, bringing her knees to her chest. "They can't do _this_ right now. They can't sit with their friend and be excited about the year ahead. She's _gone._ "

I shuddered. "I can't even think about that. It's actually makes me sick." I knew what it was like to lose people too soon. There was no worse reason.

Marlene stared off towards the window, looking forlorn. "Me too."

"I can't imagine," Mary whispered, reaching out to clutch Marlene's hand.

Lily looked back at the three of us, her kind face filled with worry. "Can we make a promise?" she asked carefully, surveying our faces "That no matter what happens in the years to come. No matter how bad all of this stuff gets, that will always be there for each other. Because I don't think I can get through what's coming without you guys."

"Lily, of course," I said immediately, my voice hard and final. "We're _family_."

"Doe's right," Marlene grinned at her, resting her head on her shoulder. "Come on, Evans. If you haven't gotten rid of us by now, we're not going anywhere."

Lily smiled, her eyes crinkling. "You're right. I'm just being silly."

Mary smiled at her. "Anyways, Marlene and I are probably legally going to be family soon, so there will be no worries," she said softly.

Marlene made a retching noise and reached for Lily's pillow, smacking Mary with it and starting a pillow fight that lasted until Rylie threatened to use a incineration spell on all of our bedding.

I fell asleep that night , having no idea what kind of year was in store for us.


	27. The Sixth First Day

27

The Sixth First Day

I slept poorly that night. Not that I expected anything different. As much as I loved returning to Hogwarts, it always led to the unavoidable nightmares. I hadn't had a week free of them since I was eleven. My parent's death was easier to ignore when I was awake. When I was asleep, the haunting ghosts of their faces always came back to me reminding me of the pain and grief I tried so desperately to avoid. Last night was no different. I had been barely been asleep for a minute when they had started. The dreams were always different, and more painful than the last. Sometimes they were vivid, violent recollections of my parents death. What I assumed had happened, at least. I'd never _really_ know. But usually, they were memories. Those were worse. It was always harder to deal with the truth. The most vivid one that night had been a memory.

I was eleven. Only weeks before I was supposed to leave for Hogwarts. I already had my wand. I had loved carrying it around, tapping it happily on every surface of my father's study. That's what I had been doing the first time I'd found the Pensieve. The silvery bowl had just been sitting on the desk. I'd only meant to touch it with the tip of my wand, but when I had, I'd gone tumbling head first into the memory that was waiting in it;

I was in a house then. A beautiful decorated one, though the color scheme was far too dark to be considered warm or cozy. A massive dining room table sat in the middle of the room, opposite a stone fireplace with crackling green fire. Three people sat at the table. Each of them beautiful, blonde, and young. I recognized them instantly. It was my mother, sat across from her older brothers, each of them halfway through a glass of firewhiskey. They were older here. Maybe in their late teens, and each of them looked more uncomfortable than the last. I remembered being haunted by the look of indifference etched on my mother's face as she tossed back the contents of the glass. I'd never seen her look so cold and miserable before.

" _My my, Aurelia," the younger of the brothers snorted, taking a hearty sip from his glass.. "You have been naughty haven't you?_

" _None of this is any of your business, Aubelus," my mother snapped, flicking her wand and refilling her glass instantly. "Piss off." Even though she looked dejected, it was impossible to miss the fiery streak of rebellion in her eyes. You could see just how different she was from her siblings from the look etched into her perfect features._

 _The other brother, the older one, Auberon, laughed at this, and shook his head at the two squabbling siblings. "What have you gone and started now, sister? Were you hanging out with that Weasley Blood Traitor again?"_

" _So what if I was?" Aurelia snapped back._

" _It was worse, Auberon," Aubelus said, snatching the open bottle of Firewhiskey from the table before either of his siblings could reach for it. "Much worse. Aurelia has finally taken it a step further this time. She hasn't just soiled our good name. She's soiled her bed."_

 _For a brief moment, I saw real fear cross my mother's face. She didn't look rebellious or wild now. She looked afraid. Her large blue eyes darted to Aubleus' looking almost pleading._

" _I don't know what you're talking about, Aubleus," she said quietly, her lips trembling. "Maybe you've had too much too drink."_

" _Dragon Dung!" Aubeleus hissed, slamming the crystal bottle down so hard on the oak table that it shattered. "You know exactly what I'm talking about you filthy little Bloodtraitor! Or was it someone else I saw stumbling out of the Leaky Cauldron with that Mudblood."_

" _What?" Auberon hissed, finally paying attention. "You didn't."_

" _Please," Aurelia sputtered, getting to her feet. "You don't understand. Darien. He's nice. I-"_

' _Enough!" Aubelus shouted, his wand drawn. "You will not continue to besmirch our good name or there will be dire consequences. Do you understand, Aurelia?"_

 _Aurelia snorted. Her arms crossed in front of her. "What are you going to do, Aubelus? Cry to mother and father? Your childhood threats don't scare me anymore."_

" _Oh no?" Aubleus asked, and twirled her wand in his hands. "Perhaps then you'll need a bit more motivation, then. Crucio!"_

 _Aurelia's scream echoed through the room as she dropped to her knees, writhing in pain._

 _Even at eleven years old, I knew the pain that she had to be feeling in that moment was something ungodly. I had wanted to reach out to her. To console her, but I didn't get the chance. A pair of hands reached upward from the sky, yanking me out the Pensive and back to the my father's study._

" _How many times has mummy told you not to go playing in the Pensive?" My mother asked. She was older now. The way I remembered her. Her eyes kept darting to the silvery bowl of memories like it might bite her._

" _I'm sorry, mum. I didn't mean too!" I had cried, throwing myself into her arms._

 _She had sighed and kissed the top of my head, hugging my tightly. "It's fine, sweetie. Just don't go near it again, okay? There's things in there that no one should ever see."_

 _Her eyes glazed over then, revealing a look that at eleven I couldn't possibly have ever understood._

I had woken up then. Clutching at the quilt on my bed, looking around the Hogwarts dormitory with relief. That memory had been buried so deeply in my subconscious it had been years since I'd thought of it. What I had seen in the Pensive hadn't meant very much to me at eleven, but now? I meant everything. It was the precursor for my parent's death. It showed just how violent and demented Aubleus had been, even when he was young. To use the cruciatus curse on your own family was despicable, though not surprising when you remembered what he had actually down to her only a few years later. It was not a comforting thought, knowing that he was out and about again. He could be anywhere. Waiting. Ready to inflict his wrath on the last living memory of his sister's betrayal. He clearly wasn't above harming his family. The thought set my teeth on edge.

I ran my hands through my hair, catching my breath as I laid down in my bed. It didn't matter what I had just seen. It had been years since any of that had happened. I wasn't there any more. I was here, at Hogwarts. There was no safer place. I made the conscious decision to try and not think about the dream again today. I wanted to enjoy my first day of sixth year, and I couldn't do that if I kept thinking about all of the horrors of my past.

When I sat up, I noticed my friends were starting to stir too. The sun was brightly shining through the windows happily announcing the arrival of morning, and gently waking up the Sixth year girls of Gryffindor.

Lily, punctual as ever, was already up and dressed, brushing her hair as she sat on the edge of Alice's bed and helped her magically iron her sweater. The rest of the dormitory was still in bed. Though they seemed to be awake. Mary's eyes were open, rolled in her blankets like a burrito, and Marlene's curtains were still drawn.

"Good, you're up!" Lily said happily. "I was just about to start waking you all, but I figured I should prepare myself for Marlene's wrath," An annoyed groan came from inside Marlene's curtained bed.

"I didn't feel much like sleeping in anyway," I said cheerfully, as I stumbled out of bed and reached for my trunk. "Happy first day back." Mary smiled, but didn't stir.

"There is nothing _happy_ about getting up this early," Marlene groaned, drawing her curtains with a quick yank. Her hair was twisting into a knot at the top of her head and she had her blankets drawn around her tightly. Marlene wasn't much of a morning person.

"Come on, today will be fun," I told her enthusiastically, plopping down beside her as pulled my uniform sweater over my head. "Were N.E.W.T. students now."

"Which means more work," Marlene groaned, grabbing one of her pillows and shoving it over head. "I _barely_ survived last year."

"It also means more free time," Alice added quickly, shimming on her shoes as she gently woke Rylie. "Frank says sixth year is the most fun he's had to date. "

"Probably because that's the year he landed _you_ , Al," I reminded her, giggling as she blushed and hid her smile.

"Now that you mention it, that may have had something to do with it," Alice said slyly. Beside her Rylie looked a bit jealous, and brushed her new short hair with zeal. Mary climbed out of bed and headed into the bathroom, practically sleepwalking.

Marlene's eyes had slipped closed again, and she looked ready to fall back asleep. I jostled her again.

"Alright, Marley," I warned. "This is the last warning. If you don't get up now, I'll trot downstairs and tell Caradoc Dearborn that you're up here waiting to profess your undying love for him."

Both Alice and Rylie burst into quiet giggles, and Lily looked on slightly entertained.

Marlene's eyes shot open immediately and she sat up faster than I thought possible. "You wouldn't."

"Oh yes I would," I told her, patting the top of her head as she groaned and got out of bed. Lily chuckled quietly as I finished getting dressed and Marlene huffed her way into her own uniform with her eyes still closed. Rylie and Alice both bade us goodbye and left the dormitory while the four of us finished getting ready.

"You have got great motivational skills," Lily said, as I raked the brush through my hair attempting to get it to look somewhat decent.

"I'm surprised you're so perky, Doe," Marlene said, finally dressed. "You were tossing and turning all night."

"Was I?" I asked nervously. I knew I had been having terrible nightmares, but I had hoped I was better at hiding it. I never wanted to be an imposition on everyone else in the dorm.

"You were mumbling quietly," Marlene said, swiping mascara across her eyes. "I almost woke you up but I didn't want to bother you."

"Was she?" Lily asked. "Funny, I didn't hear a thing."

"That's because you're such a heavy sleeper that someone could have broke in and murdered us all and you would kept sleeping," Marlene teased. Lily grinned at her.

"Either way, I'm sorry, Marls," I said quietly, feeling a bit guilty. "Next time, feel free to give me a good kick to wake me. I don't want to keep you up."

"I'll remember that," she chuckled, swiping gloss across her lips. "But for the record, I _never_ want to be woken up. You and Lily are very annoying alarm clocks."

"Cute ones, though," Mary said as she emerged from the bathroom. She looked nice. She had actually managed to get fully dressed with a full face of makeup. Something neither Lily or I had managed today.

Finally dressed and ready to take on the day, the four of us made our way out of the dormitory and to the Great Hall. Marlene cheered up quite a bit when she saw the extensive breakfast spread on the House table, distracting herself from lack of sleep with a pile of fluffy eggs and plump waffles. Even at the Staff Table, the professors seemed to be enjoying each others company and the wonderful spread of food. The mood in the Great Hall today was much lighter than it had been the night before, with the exception of the Ravenclaw table. They all still looked understandably gloomy.

The morning post came in then. A collection of Owls dropping letters and packages to awaiting students, and littering the tables with copies of the prophet. Thankfully, today the cover was free from horrible news.

"Today better be easy and wonderful," Marlene said as she ate, looking nervous. "If we get a tough schedule I _will_ drop out."

"Like Mum and Dad would let you," Landon snorted from his position beside Mary, buried behind today's prophet. "You'd have to move in with Gran. And you know how much you _love_ her."

Marlene sneered at her brother, her eyes narrowed."About as much as she loves you, Landon." Mary rolled her eyes as she bit into a kipper. Being Landon's girlfriend and one of Marlene's best friends had gotten her very used to the McKinnon sibling's constant squabbling.

"I wonder if we'll have that new defense teacher today?" I asked, changing the subject. Professor Sayre was sitting up at the Staff Table listening very intently to something that Professor Flitwick was telling her. She looked just as stern as commanding as she had the night before, except now she looked a bit more kindly, probably because of the satin periwinkle robes she wore.

"I hope so," Lily said quickly. "She looks very knowledgeable doesn't she? It'll be interesting to be taught from the perspective of an American."

"If she knows what she's talking about," Marlene said, dropping her voice. "Doesn't look like she's been out in the fields much, does she?"

"I don't think you can tell that from just looking at her," I said, watching the professor over Lily's shoulder. "Sometimes the most unlikely people have the most power."

Marlene snorted. "If that were the case, Pettigrew will become Minister of Magic."

Everyone in the surrounding area laughed at the idea, and Marlene beamed as she took another bite of eggs. Peter was sat at the end of the table stabbing his wand violently at a waffle attempting to make it to change color, while his friends talked passionately about something beside him.

"Poor Peter," I said quietly, rolling my eyes. "He really does try. It's not his fault that the rest of the Marauders are so good." Peter wasn't the worst wizard I'd ever seen. Reginald Cattermole was twice as bad as he was, but Peter was so out of his depth around the other Marauders that he seemed bad by comparison.

"He never really seemed to fit in with them, in my opinion," Mary said watching him with a raised eyebrow. "I always wonder why the rest of him keep him around."

"Especially with how they treat Dearborn," I said. Marlene sniffed, irritated at the mention of her admirer.

My gaze drifting over to where Caradoc was sitting a little ways away, talking to a couple of fourth and fifth years. Even though he shared a dormitory with the Marauders, he had never once been a part of their friend group. Something that made me feel for him.

We didn't get a chance to discuss Caradoc's ostracization any longer. Professor McGonagall had come down from the Staff Table to hand out our schedules. The seventh years and younger students were out of the hall in minutes but the sixth years took much longer. Professor McGonagall had to first make sure that everyone had acquired the right O.W.L results in order to take the classes they wanted, and the process took longer than anticipated. The Marauders took almost fifteen minutes sitting amongst their schedules rearranging whatever they could to take as many classes together as possible.

"No, let's do Charms," James had said scratching out something Sirius had written. "You and Moony are already taking it and Wormtail didn't score high enough for History of Magic."

Marlene had looked in tears when it was her turn, opting to drop Defense altogether and, switching out Potions for Divination. She had surprised us all by getting an O in Muggle Studies and deciding to continue with that instead of Herbology. Mary and Lily had dropped it too, in favor of Ancient Runes. I wasn't so lucky.

Much as I wanted to drop Herbology, I couldn't. I needed it to be an auror, along with Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, and Potions. Alice's predictions had been right. Our schedules were littered with chunks of free time. I knew that eventually those precious hours of blissful free time would turn into crucial studying hours, but for now they were a welcome reprieve.

"What're you taking, Evans?" James called cheekily over the table, trying to sneak a peek of her schedule.

"Hopefully, nothing _you're_ taking," Lily answered, snapping her schedule off the table before he could reach it. A feat considering James Quidditch reflexes.

"Don't worry, Evans," James smiled. "I'll just sign up for everything, then we're bound to have a few classes together."

"Once again proving how moronic you are," Lily said rolling her eyes. "But if you want overload yourself with work. Go ahead. It'll be funny to watch you try and manage."

James frowned and Sirius rolled his eyes, flashing me the look he so often did when he thought Lily was being unreasonable.

"Let me see your schedule, Meadowes," he said picking mine up from the table. He grinned as he read it. "Excellent. Yours is the same as mine and Moony's. Now I have two people to copy from." He looked delighted at the thought, and in true Sirius fashion, had ignored the look of annoyance that both Remus and I had flashed him.

Thankfully, today wasn't particularly challenging. I had Herbology, followed by a free period, then Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

I went back to the dormitory with my friends and gathered the books we need, before parting ways and heading down to Herbology. I walked with Sirius and Remus. They were the only other Sixth Year Gryffindors taking Herbology. Sirius and I needed it to become Aurors, and Remus was taking it in order to keep the possibility of being a Healer open.

"So is that what you want to be, a healer?" I asked as the three of us made our way down to the Greenhouses.

Remus chewed on his bottom lip for a minute. "I don't know really. I like the idea of helping people." He dropped his voice. "Especially with a condition like mine. I see what Madam Pomfrey does for me every month, and I'd like to be able to do that for others. But I'm keeping my options open. My mum and dad want me to work for the ministry."

"I think you'll be great at whatever you choose. You're really smart, and compassionate," I told him as we trekked down the sloping grounds, which were still wet from yesterday's downpour.

Remus blushed slightly. "Thanks, Doe. That means a lot coming from you," he said, hiding his smile.

Sirius snorted, looking amused as he opened the door to Greenhouse six. "Stop it, Meadowes. You're going to give Moony a big head."

"Says the bloke who just checked out his own reflection in the greenhouse door," I pointed out cheekily, causing Remus to laugh.

Sirius only grinned. "What can I say. My hair looks _fantastic_ today."

The greenhouse was full of a strange collection of sixth years. It was the first time I had taken a Hogwarts class that was littered with people from all four houses. The majority of them were Hufflepuffs, which made sense considering Professor Sprout was their head of house. Most of Ravenclaw was there too, and thankfully the only Slytherins were Thomas Nott and Tracey Travers. They stood in the corner, whispering to one another and eyeing the Hufflepuffs with disdain. At the closest table, Amelia sat with her friend Charity Burbage.

"Doe!" she called when she spotted me. "Come and sit with us." She gestured to the empty seat at her table enthusiastically.

I was glad to have another class with Amelia. Being in different houses meant I rarely got to see her. I had worried that dropping Care of Magical Creatures might mean we wouldn't have any classes together this year. Remus and Sirius wandered off to join a table with Richard Stebbins and Hexar Smith, so I headed towards Amelia.

"Hi Aimes," I said plopping down with my copy of _1,000 Magical Herbs and Fungi._ "Nice to see you Charity."

Charity smiled broadly. "Hi, Doe. How was your summer?"

I had always liked Charity. She'd been friends with Amelia since first year and was always very kind to me and Lily. Her hair was light blonde, almost as light as mine, but without the silvery undertones, and fell in tight curls down her back. She was very fresh-faced with the kind of even, snowy skin that looked like it had never once experienced a blemish.

"Too long," I told her with a smile. "I'm glad to be back here."

"Me too," Charity agreed, looking firm. "Although I had to talk my Mum into letting me come back this year."

"She didn't want you to come back to Hogwarts?" I asked in disbelief. The idea seemed preposterous to me. It was one of my worst nightmares. Amelia seemed to be thinking along the same lines. She had given a tiny shudder at Charity's words, her eyes wide at the idea of losing one of her closest friends.

Charity gave a sad nod, "She was worried after seeing everything that's been going on in the Prophet. She's a muggle so she doesn't really understand."

"Oh, right," I said, remembering that Charity was Muggleborn. "I understand. I'm glad you convinced her to let you come back."

Charity smiled. "Me too. I just had to remind her how safe Hogwarts is. She knows that nothing will happen to me here as long as Professor Dumbledore's around."

The three of us all gave a firm nod, a silent agreement on our loyalty and conviction in our Headmaster. But after a minute, Amelia frowned slightly. "It's not just muggles who worry. My parent's both grew up in this world and they're terrified. We spent the entire summer dodging Death Eaters. Luckily, it meant we got to to Wales and see Daniel, but still. It sucked."

Charity reached out to squeeze her best friends hand, and Amelia relished in the comfort.

"How is Daniel?" I asked Amelia. Daniel was Amelia and Edgar's _much_ older brother. He was already out of the house by the time Amelia and I had met, and was married now, off living in Wales. I'd only met him a few times over the years.

Amelia shrugged. "Good, I guess. He and his wife are trying to have a baby. Though I think he's mad to try, with what's going on. I mean the Death Eater's are knocking down Dad's door. Sooner or later they're going to come after him too. Edgar's worried enough."

"Is your dad worried?" I asked her, seeing the look on her face.

Amelia shook her head. "No, you know my dad. He's too principled to be worried. He and Edgar are at the ministry together now, so they have every confidence that the aurors are going to sort it out," she stopped and grinned, her expression changing immediately. "Although maybe they won't, if they let the likes of _you_ in," she joked.

"You're cruel, Bones," I said shaking my head. She only laughed in response.

The Herbology lesson was an easy one today. Professor Sprout spent the hour lecturing on the new, significantly more violent plants we would be covering this year while we took diligent notes.

"I'm glad you decided to continue with Herbology," Professor Sprout told me on the way out. "I think we can really make some progress this year. I find it noble that you continue to try."

It was a testament to how terrible I was at Herbology that she looked so impressed at my continued presence.

"I don't like to quit things," I admitted to her, feeling sheepish.

Professor Sprout smiled, her dark eyes crinkling. "Well, then we'll have to work together on developing you're green thumb, won't we?"

"I'll do my best," I promised her, knowing my track record with plants was already working against me.

I left the Greenhouse in a good mood. I had a free period before Charms, so I took the long way back to the dormitory. That way, I could look out over the grounds as I walked. I figured I'd spend the next hour lounging in the Common Room, grateful for the free time.

As I rounded one of the corners of the castle, I stopped. Gideon was leaning against the castle wall, talking good-naturedly with someone beside him. He looked nice in his uniform, his hair complemented by the new Head Boy pin fastened to his sweater. I felt my cheeks blush a little as I kept walking, wondering if I'd be able to keep up a nice conversation with him without somehow embarrassing myself. I straightened my shoulders and plastered a smile on my face as I approached, ignoring the stinging nerves that had formed in my shoulders.

I was just about to say something when I noticed who was standing beside Gideon. Looking as pretty as usual, her long dark blond hair hung loose and her lips were coated in pink lipstick, was Emmeline Vance.

She was grinning as she talked to Gideon, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she said something that made them both laugh. I instantly felt my stomach plummet. _._ She looked perfect, and clearly whatever she was saying was entertaining enough to hold Gideon's attention. There was not much point in trying with her around. Picking up the last shred of confidence I had, I walked past them, feeling much more irked than I had when I'd left Herbology.

Of all the people the people to also be interested in Gideon, did it have to be _Emmeline?_ I mean that bird made even _Marlene_ self-conscious. It didn't help that she was nice too. That made me even more mad. I couldn't hate her when she was kind.

I was so distracted by what I had just seen between Emmeline and Gideon, that I didn't notice the person lingering in one of the open broom closets up ahead. And I didn't notice his presence until he had reached out and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me into the closet with him, closing the door behind us with his foot.

"Morning, Pet," Rabastan cooed, keeping his grip tight on me as he pulled me to his chest. His left hand moved down to the back of my thigh and I immediately swatted it away, scowling as I did.

Of course I had to run into Rabastan. It was like he was a magnet for my bad moods. Whenever anything bad or unfortunate happened, Rabastan always managed to show up and make it _worse._

"What is _wrong_ with you, Rabastan?" I snapped, yanking him off of me. "Have you ever considered that if you have to kidnap someone into spending time with you, that they're probably _not interested?_ "

I stood as far away from him as I could in the closet. He was blocking the only exit with his body. He was stretched out sensually, his mouth curved into a confident grin.

Rabastan's eyes sparkled. "Oh come on, Doe. You and I both know you love it when I surprise you. It's easier for you to _pretend_ you don't want me when you're surprised."

He was so arrogant I wanted to kick him. Could he really believe that after all that he had put me through, I could desire him? He was delusional.

"Please," I snorted. "I don't know how much more clear I can make it to you, Rabastan, but I _don't_ want you."

"Your lips say no," Rabastan purred, "but your body says yes. I know you, Pet. You want this just as much as I do. How could you not? I'm good-looking _and_ a Pureblood. You're just ashamed to admit your secret desires."

He reached out to gently stroke the side of my face, and looked delighted when I pulled away so fast I almost smacked head on the stone wall behind me.

I glared at him. "My only desire is that you leave me alone," I rebuked firmly, "but you've proven time and time again that my desires mean nothing to you. As clearly evidenced by the fact that you've trapped me in here with you."

"Trapped?" Rabastan chuckled. "You're so dramatic sometimes. This is _fun_. You're not trapped."

"You're blocking the door," I pointed out, crossing my arms. "Move, and I assure you I'll leave."

Rabastan didn't budge, he simply surveyed me slowly, grinning as he did. "Have I mentioned I like you hair this long? It makes you look simply _mouth-watering_. Honestly. It makes me want to drag you up to the dormitory right this moment."

 _I'd have to be dragged to go anywhere with you_ , I thought quietly, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how revolting I found his suggestion. He always looked delighted when I reacted.

He was chuckling now. That was it. He had officially reached the end of my patience. I reached into my robes pocket an unearthed my wand.

"Move, Rabastan," I said raising it at him. It was well worth a detention or two to get away from him. Especially with the way he was eyeing me now. It was like a lion staring down a gazelle. I didn't want to spend any more time than I had too in this broom closet. I was sure it was already giving Rabastan ideas. The kind of ideas that made my skin crawl.

"Unless you want to spend your free period in the Hospital Wing," I threatened.

"Easy, Pet," Rabastan said moving aside from the door. "I can think of much more satisfying ways that you and I can spend the next hour. Then again, the Hospital Wing is full of empty _cots_ …"

"Ew," I rolled my eyes and pushed past him through the door, as he followed me, laughing at my reaction. He reached out again and placed achand on my waist. Even the slightest touch from him made me shiver. I turned to point my wand threateningly at him again when I stopped, mortified.

Standing right in front of us, watching Rabastan and I stumble out of the broom closet together, was Emmeline and Gideon.

I didn't know what to feel first, embarrassment or fury. I knew how this looked. What Rabastan and I coming out the broom together looked like. Both Emmeline and Gideon were frozen in front of us, wide eyed and confused. I couldn't help but shake the irony of the whole thing. A Gryffindor and a Slytherin, stumbling upon _another_ Gryffindor and Slytherin in what looked like a compromising situation.

"Doe?" Gideon asked aloud. His face was unreadable. He looked confused at first, and then as his gaze shifted to Rabastan and the overconfident grin on his features, I saw a flicker of anger cross Gideon's face. Emmeline looked floored. She kept looking from Rabastan to me, her glossy lips parted. I'd never wished for James' invisibility cloak more. In fact, I'd take a distraction of any kind right now.

"Gideon, Hi," I said quickly, trying desperately to find a way to make this look better without telling all three of the people in this hallway about Rabastan's sick obsession with me.

"Emmeline," Rabastan said, lazily greeting his house mate. She didn't say anything in response. She still looked very confused, turning to Gideon.

Gideon's face was blank now. "I didn't know you two were friends," he said looking from Rabastan to me, and being very generous in his assumptions.

"We're _not_ ," I said casting a murderous look in Rabastan's direction. "Rabastan has boundary issues."

Emmeline raised an eyebrow, curiosity flooded her even featured face. I could almost see the intrigue forming in her green eyes, and hoped to Merlin that she wasn't the gossiping type.

Gideon, at least, looked slightly relieved and turned his tense eyes to Rabastan. He looked utterly unconcerned, twirling his wand in his pale hands easily, showing off the arrogance I knew so well.

"Doe's got such a colorful imagination, doesn't she?" Rabastan grinned obnoxiously. "I can see the fun's over now." He cast a dirty look at Emmeline and Gideon, "Once the Bloodtraitors show up, I like to clear out."

He flashed me one more sultry smile. "I'll see you around, Pet."

Rabastan gave me a quick wink and practically skipped down the corridor, leaving the rest of us alone. _Cocky, lying bastard_ , I thought miserably.

"I should probably go too," Emmeline said, looking very uncomfortable. "I'll see you later, Gideon. Bye, Doe."

Emmeline turned on her heels sharply, her hair twirling behind her as she went. I couldn't help but feel miserable as she did. Of course, she had to look like _that_ and have nice moments with Gideon, while I had to fight off handsy Slytherins.

With just Gideon and I in the hallway now, my cheeks burned again. Of all the people I could have run into in this moment. Gideon was low on my list of who I wanted it to be. In his defense, he was being very gracious. I was the one who was humiliated at the perceived misunderstanding.

"Lestrange really is an arse," Gideon said shaking his head in the direction of where Rabastan had left. "I didn't realize you two talked."

I shook my head. "We don't, trust me. Rabastan's favorite pastime is stalking me throughout the castle. I was just walking by when he yanked me in the there."

Gideon offered me a wide grin, as the two of us walked down the corridor towards the Common Room. "I was hoping it was something like that. Rabastan didn't really seem like your type." Gideon's eyebrows raised, as if he was asking a question instead of a statement.  
I almost wanted to laugh at the irony of Gideon pointing out who my type was, but I managed to restrain myself. Offering Gideon a smirk instead.

"Trust me, he's _not_ ," I told him shaking my head. "I'd rather date the Giant Squid. I bet he's less slimy than Rabastan."

"That's a real compliment to the squid," Gideon chuckled, looking delighted. "Not so much for Lestrange though."

"Well what am I good for if not boosting the confidence of magical creatures everywhere?" I asked.

"Always been my motto," Gideon said chortled.

The two of us chatted closely all the way back to the Common Room, and I couldn't help but be thankful that the entire situation with Rabastan had been cleared up this quickly. Maybe it had even been beneficial. Nothing would make me happier, and Rabastan more furious than to know that he had brought Gideon and I closer together.

* * *

"No way!" Mary giggled.

"Holy Hippogriff!" Lily practically shouted, covering her mouth with her hand, as the four of us left the Charms classroom. "I _cannot_ believe that."

"It's definitely something that could only happen to you," Marlene said shaking her head.

I had just finished telling the three of them what had happened with Gideon, Rabastan and I, as we left the classroom. I had wanted to tell them the moment Charms had started, but Professor Flitwick had us only studying the theory so there wasn't much time for chatting like there usually was. The quick nature of the conversation didn't stop my friends from being completely invested.

"Well the good news is you cleared it up with Gideon," Lily said, as we made our way down the corridor. "Imagine how bad it could have been if you couldn't explain yourself."

"You mean if Gideon thought Rabastan Lestrange and I were shagging?" I asked, shaking my head at the image of that. "It would have been _horrible._ "

"It would definitely make him question your taste," Mary said, looking delighted. Each of my friends looked slightly amused now that they knew the story didn't have a horrible ending.

Marlene let out a low laugh. "My favorite part of this story is that this not the first time you've been caught stumbling out of a broom closet with someone you _weren't_ snogging." She let out a high peal of laughter, her head thrown back.

The memory of last year trickled through my brain as she laughed. The one where a group of Hufflepuffs had caught Sirius and I stumbling out of a different broom closet. It was a bit ironic.

"I have terrible luck, okay?" I admitted, "Let's not laugh at my pain."

Lily, still giggling, wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Look on the bright side, at least you made some progress with Gideon."

"And I have a real, concrete reason to _murder_ Rabastan in his sleep," I whispered, still furious as we approached the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

Marlene laughed again. "As much as I'd like to sit around and discuss your Slytherin stalker, I have to go to the Common Room and enjoy my free period. Have fun in defense!"

She looked delighted at the idea of relaxing in the dormitory while the rest of us had to go to class.

"See you," I told her, watching as Marlene skipped down the corridor, her laughter continuing to echo as she did.

"I still can't believe she dropped defense," Mary said as we watched her go. "A galleon says she regrets it."

"You're on," I said enthusiastically. "Best bet I've ever made. Marlene _hates_ defense, and she loves not having to go to class."

"I bet she'll regret it if Professor Sayre is any good," Lily said as the three of us headed into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom together.

It was the most crowded class I'd been to today. It seemed very few Sixth Year students were willing to drop Defense Against the Dark Arts from their schedules, and now the room had nearly twice the amount of students it usually held. The three of us found empty seats in the middle, between Kyla Davies and Caradoc Dearborn. Lily had pointedly ignored James' gesturing to the empty clump of seats beside the other Marauders in the front.

"No Marlene?" Caradoc asked me, eyeing the three of us. His heart-shaped face was turned down in disappointment at the possibility. Lily and Mary looked forward, trying not to grin at Caradoc obvious infatuation.

"Sorry," I told Caradoc. "She dropped defense." He looked depressed as he turned back to the front of the room and watched the teacher.

Professor Sayre stood at the front of the room, leaning against her desk and watching the students as they filed in. One quick look around the room told me that she hadn't decided to impart any decorations on the classroom other than a large fading tapestry with the word UNITE written in thick, even letters. It hung off the staircase behind her desk.

"Unite what?" Mary whispered to me quietly. "She better not mean among ourselves because there is no way that I'm getting chummy with the Slytherins."

Nearly every Slytherin sixth year had taken the class, and commandeered the entire back row of seats, talking loudly and eyeing Professor Sayre with apprehension. Narcissa raised an eyebrow at me when she caught me gaze. It made me roll my eyes.

"Let's hope not," I whispered back, making sure to give Narcissa the nastiest look I could muster. "Or it'll be a _very_ long year."

After the last cluster of Ravenclaw boys had filed into the room, Professor Sayre lifted her wand and the door to the classroom closed with a resounding slam.

Professor Sayre grinned at us, keeping her wand in her hand as she paced the room. "Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts," she said quickly, her accent filling the room. "I am Professor Sayre, and this year I'd like to do things a little _differently_."

"Get a load of that voice," Kyla chuckled to Rolanda Hooch, snickering quietly. Lily threw her a reproachful look. Her accent was strange, but it was nothing to criticize. Unlike many of the American ones I'd heard over the years, hers sounded more Northern. She didn't seem to pronounce her R's, and it seemed very charming to me.

Professor Sayre didn't notice Kyla's criticism and continued to speak, moving through the aisles as she did. "You have had many different professors in this subject, and because of which, you're education has been disjointed and fragmented. I'd like to change that. As many of you know, I am on loan from Ilvermorny, where we have a fantastic defense program that I'd like to bring here. Your need now is greater."

She had a commanding presence about her, looking everyone directly in the eyes, but she wasn't afraid to smile either. After Marchbanks' stern approach, it was refreshing.

She stopped when she got to the back of the room. "Now, before we get into discussing the subjects and topics that we're going to cover this year," Her eyes fell on the prefects who already had a quill pressed to their parchments, ready to write, "I would like to take a moment to discuss why this subject is perhaps the _most_ crucial one you will study this year, and why it will behoove you to pay attention and try your very best to master everything I present to you."

Professor Sayre moved quickly to the front of the room and flicked her wand. One of her desk drawers rattled loudly and screeched open, as a large copy of the Daily Prophet came flying out, suspended in the air above our seats. It was from a few weeks ago, and showed a picture of a smoky skeleton in the air with a title that read _**YOU-KNOW-WHO STRIKES FEAR IN MANY.**_

A few people intook their breath, others gasped. The Slytherins looked bored. Narcissa Malfoy rolled her eyes and went back to examining her nails.

"You have an epidemic going on this country," Professor Sayre said loudly. "This He Who Must Not Be Named, is continuing to gather support and commit _atrocities_ across this land. Now more than ever, what you will learn in this class applies to the real world. This is the training and the practice that you need, if you have any desire to quash this threat.

This man is not one of the Dark Arts you should be fighting. He is _the_ Dark Art. _This_." She jabbed a long finger at the prophet. "Is what your preparing to fight against. So when you think about skipping your reading or not practising a spell technique, remember He is out there. And He is who you will have to face someday, one way or another. So if I were you, I'd keep my eyes and ears open and learn as much as I could. It could be the line between life and _death_."

The room had gone utterly silent. Not a single person dared whisper. Everyone was gawking at Professor Sayre with open mouths. Everyone, except the Slytherins. They looked hacked off, and it was clear why. We we were not accustomed to talking about You Know Who or the War in our classes. It was a subject discussed in frantic whispers in the Great Hall or the Common Room when a particularly terrifying Prophet story came out, or sometimes addressed by Professor Dumbledore when a tragic event took place. It wasn't ever talked about alongside our curriculum. Certainly not by our teachers. It was a testament to how bad things had gotten that Professor Sayre felt the need to bring it up now. Half the class looked terrified. The other half intrigued. She had rendered even James and Sirius silent. They both just sat watching her with reverence. I couldn't stop watching her either. She was the first professor we'd ever had who had told it the way it was. She was honest. _Brutally_ , so.

She was my new favorite teacher.

Professor Sayre looked pleased at the effect her words had had on all of us, crossing her arms as a confident smirk rested on her face. Almost immediately a haughty pale arm raised into the air, stretching from the shoulder all the way to the blood red nails.

The entire class faced Narcissa, who was raising her hand so proudly, everyone knew the words coming out of her mouth where going to be foul.

"Yes? _Ms.?_ " Professor Sayre asked, looking surprised that someone had a question.

"Black," Narcissa answered curtly. "Narcissa Black."

"Well then, Ms. Black," Professor Sayre pressed. "What is your question?"

Narcissa looked mildly annoyed that her surname didn't have it's usual snobby reaction. I supposed to Professor Sayre, who lived in America, didn't know that half of this country subscribed to the stupid principle of treating the Blacks like royalty. I looked over at Sirius to see, like me, he was looking at his cousin with disdain.

"Well I was just wondering," Narcissa said, her voice filled with false sincerity, "If you actually planned on teaching us things that will appear in our N.E.W.T.s or if you're simply planning on giving long-winded _biased_ political posturing all year?" She smirked at the end of her question as if she was the most clever person in the world.

Lily's jaw fell open. So did Mafalda Hopkirk's. No one could believe Narcissa had the gall to say something like that to a teacher. Even if she did disagree with her political opinions.

Sirius looked enraged. "Honestly Narcissa?" he asked loudly. She ignored him.

"Biased?" Lily whispered quietly to me. "Who is Narcissa to talk about bias? She's the most biased, bigoted bird I know."

Narcissa didn't seem to think she was out of line at all, she was simply blinking at Professor Sayre, waiting for an answer.

To Professor Sayre's credit, she remained very even tempered.

"Ms. Black," she began cooly, "While it may be true, that your political opinions and mine may differ, this is not a conversation about politics. _This_ is a discussion about a Dark Wizard. One who time and time again uses the Dark Arts to gain power. This class is a Defense _Against_ the Dark Arts class, meaning we do not condone the use of Dark Arts, or those who practise them. If you believe differently, I urge you to leave, but I hope you'll stay. The information I plan to give you all is very valuable."

Professor Sayre raised one of her thin, arched eyebrows and most of the class began to cheer. James and Sirius hooted appreciatively from the front of the class. Narcissa remained very silent, her dark eyes lit with rage.

Beside her, Elizabeth Merlin stared at Professor Sayre with absolute hatred, and whispered something to Sebastian Mulciber. Mulciber nodded and raised his hand, following an order. The rest of the room sighed, knowing this wasn't going to be over soon. Now, Professor Sayre looked more annoyed.

"Yes?" She asked, as the rest of us watched on with interest. "What is _your_ name?"

"Mulciber," he answered curtly, no trace of kindness on his smug face. "I was wondering what your Blood Status is, _Professor?_ "

Across the room many people sighed. Others scowled. Could the Slytherins really be so ballsy? They'd never behave like this in front of Slughorn. Or even McGonagall. It was infuriating. The Slytherins bigotry could enrage me on a normal day, but now it was just ridiculous.

"Why in Merlin's name would that even matter, Mulciber?" I demanded loudly, turning around in my seat to face him. "Besides the fact that you're being _rude._ "

"Quiet, Meadowes," Mulciber snapped, his eyes narrowed in my direction."No one asked _you._ "

"And no one asked you to _speak_ ," Sirius called loudly from the front, coming to my defense. "I'm honestly astounded to know you can. Your mum'll be _so_ proud."

James joined in looking excitedly. "Honestly. She feared you were too stupid to ever get the hang of it, but look at you know. Using full sentences and everything."

"Keep talking," Mulciber hissed at them, "And I'll hex you into next week."

Sirius glared at him, until James tapped his shoulder and whispered something. Mulciber opened his mouth to speak and Professor Sayre shook her head firmly. Her voice raised slightly for the first time.

"That's _enough_ ," she said firmly. "This is _not_ up for discussion. Blood Status is not something we will discuss in this class, because I think it is a waste of time to discuss things that _Do. Not. Matter._ " She straightened herself, letting a reproachful look fall over Narcissa, Elizabeth and Mulciber. "Now let's get back to the class at hand, shall we?"

"Wow," Lily whistled as she walked away.

I nodded in agreement. "She's fantastic!"

Professor Sayre took to the front of her room and reached for her copy of the textbook. "This year will be focused on many things. The first of which, will be getting you all to master Non-verbal spells, which you will not only use in this class, but all of your classes. We will also do refreshers on Boggarts and Shield Spells, discuss the Unforgivable curses, and dive into creatures like Lethifolds and Inferi. I will also be providing tips on dueling and protection, as well as anything else I think might benefit you in the years ahead."

It was more than we'd learned in all five years of Defense classes we'd taken so far. And most importantly, it was useful. It was like auror training, but for beginners. I couldn't wait.

"Today's lesson," Professor Sayre said confidently, "Will be a practical lesson, and you're first foray into use of nonverbal spells."

She flicked her wand and every set of desks went sliding to both sides of the room at top speed as the rest of us clung desperately to them, trying not to fall off. The moment they hit the wall, they stopped moving, and everyone clambered out onto the open floor.

"Wands out please!" Professor Sayre said, moving into the middle of the floor. Her lilac robes billowed as she strut to the group. Everyone was clustered in one large circle in the middle of the room.

"The mark between a truly gifted witch or wizard an an ameteru is their ability to perform non-verbal spells," Professor Sayre said boldly. "Not saying what you plan to do out loud gives you an advantage on your enemies, and frankly it saves a hell of a lot of time." Her dark eyes sparkled as several people across the room chuckled.. "Now, I'd like you all to partner up and practice jinxing one another with non-verbal spells."

There was a shuffle around the room as everyone moved to find their partners. Lily and I partnered up immediately and Mary sighed before offering to partner with Caradoc. As soon as the room was split up, everyone began attempting non-verbal spells.

At first, it just felt silly. I stared at Lily, wand pointed and tried to repeat the incantations in my head to no avail. It didn't seem any different than just thinking the words. I didn't see how this could work.

I wasn't alone. All across the room, everyone had their wands drawn, trying desperately to cast a spell without saying a word. Xeno Lovegood was purple in the face as he concentrated, repeatedly pointing his wand at Sybil Trelawney. Some people like Mafalda Hopkirk, looked very put out that they hadn't mastered it, and others like Amos Diggory and Odie Macmillan, were cheating, simply whispering the incantations.

Lily seemed to be struggling too. She was practically biting her bottom lip off, and her freckled cheeks were flushed.

"Ten points to Gryffindor!" Professor Sayre called loudly, clapping James on the shoulder as he managed to hit Sirius with a jelly-legs jinx, without saying a word. Lily looked at him dejected.

" _And ten points to Ravenclaw! Good Job, Mr. Boot!"_

I held my wand out and tried to focus. I was trying to the Body-Bind jinx on Lily, but non-verbal spells seemed to be very difficult to master.

I stared at Lily, shouting Petrificus Totalus over and over in my head for five minutes, until my eyes felt like they were going to pop straight out of their sockets.

"Remember to breathe," Professor Sayre coming up beside me. "It's all about your concentration. Plant your feet, breathe and concentrate. Feel the spell. Don't just say it your head. You've got to really _feel_ it. Try that."

I nodded and pointed my wand at Lily again. I planted my feet and took a deep breath. I did my best to clear my head of everything; the excitement, the anxiety, the apprehension, and just thought only of the spell. I felt it.

 _Petrificus Totalus_

Almost immediately, pink light flashed from the end of my wand and Lily's entire body froze, stiff as a board and bound by invisible strings. It had worked. The moment the spell had taken, an indescribable excitement had flowed through my wand hand, like coursing blood. No wonder everyone used Non-verbal spells. It really was better. You had the upper hand. I jumped with excitement and immediately relieved Lily with the countercurse.

Lily smiled. "You've got to show me how you did that."

Professor Sayre looked impressed as she surveyed us. "Excellent work. I'd say almost perfect precision. What was your name?"

"Doe Meadowes," I said confidently, still riding the high from my first non-verbal spell.

"Keep up the good work, Ms. Meadowes," Professor Sayre said, and disappeared off to correct Peter's form.

It took fifteen more minutes for Lily to get the hang of them, but when she did, she flourished. Her nonverbal tickling jinx was stronger than her verbal one and earned Gryffindor five points.

We kept trying our hand at Non-verbal spells for another half hour. By the end of the lesson, I'd managed to do it a couple of times and Mary had become a master at it.

"Not as easy as you'd think huh?" Professor Sayre asked aloud, watching all of us panting from exhaustion. "Well, I suggest you try and master it early, because I suspect the other professor's will be expecting it in their classes very soon. As for today, let's call it quits."

There was a shuffle as everyone moved for their things, talking in quick earnest voices as they did.

" _Fantastic!"_

" _What a great lesson!"_

" _That's the best defense class I think we've ever had!"_

There was a general consensus around the room. Everyone had loved that lesson, and Professor Sayre. Everyone except the Slytherins. They huddled by the door throwing her the dirtiest glances I'd ever seen. They clearly hadn't taken kindly to being called. They wouldn't forget this, teacher or not.

"I don't think we've ever had a Defense lesson that great before," I said shaking my head as I slung my bag over my shoulder. "She should _never_ leave."

"She's fantastic, isn't she?" Mary asked as we left the room, in between the crowds of our gossiping classmates.

Lily's face was lit up with excitement. "She's brilliant, right? They way she took down Narcissa. I wish I had had a camera!"

As we headed to the Common Room, everyone passing us was discussing the same thing we were. It reminded me of something.

I reached into my bag and fondled around until I found a loose galleon at the bottom. I gripped it tightly and placed in Mary's open hand.

"What's this for?" Mary asked, looking at it strangely as we walked.

"You earned it," I said honestly, as we reached the Fat Lady. "Marlene is _definitely_ going to regret dropping defense now."


	28. Sirius About Quidditch

28

Sirius About Quidditch

The first two days of classes felt like they lasted weeks. It was easier than I expected to immediately slip back into my routine at the Castle. The classes, my friends and the teachers all made school feel like home. After the summer I had had, being back here felt like waking up from a nightmare.

I could already tell this year was going to busier than the last. No one had been kidding when they said that being a sixth year wasn't easy. N.E.W.T work was incredibly advanced, and by Wednesday most of the year was already buckling under an enormous weight of assignments due by Monday. I could already see our beloved free periods disappearing in favor of trips to the library and study sessions. Not that anyone was complaining. In fact, it seemed like no one had even noticed the increased workload. We were barely halfway through the first week of classes and the Castle was already full of gossip.

Deborah Abbott and Robert Dawson had had their fifteen minutes of fame the night before when Filch had caught them snogging in an empty classroom, which had both the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs buzzing well into the morning. The Gryffindors were mostly concerned with the Quidditch team. Two of the teams chasers had graduated the year before, leaving two spots on the team open and James was determined to fill them with the best possible players. Many people around the Common Room were talking about throwing their hat in the ring, while Landon looked on in anguish from the corner. Mary had told me it was difficult for him to sit on the sidelines while someone else took control of the team.

But the most talked about piece of gossip by far, was Professor Sayre. Those who had already had her were busy telling anyone who would listen about her fascinating lesson, and those who hadn't weren't anxiously awaiting the moment they had her too. By now, the entire school had heard about the showdown between her and Narcissa, and dramatic retellings were being whispered constantly. The most ludicrous being that Professor Sayre had flicked her wand and magically hexed off Narcissa's mouth. That was my favorite version. It was the only one that was better than the truth. Marlene, who _was_ deeply regretting her decision to drop defense, told this version to anyone who would listen.

Narcissa, and the other Slytherins for that matter, had been in terrible moods about it for the past few days. Every time Professor Sayre passed, they all glared at her and whispered coldly. It was the same thing they always did when they wanted revenge on someone, and I hoped Professor Sayre was prepared for it. Slytherins didn't let things go.

"I just don't get why Robert Dawson would go for Deborah of all people," Marlene complained on Wednesday morning, retelling the same bit of gossip. "She's not even _that_ pretty."

The four of us were lounging happily on the third floor corridor, enjoying one of our free periods before our first Potions class. While Mary, Lily and I read through a chapter of our textbook for Defense, Marlene had started her favorite hobby, gossiping about our classmates.

"Deborah's cute," Mary reasoned, offering a chunk of pink coconut ice to her. "You don't like her?"

Marlene made a noise in the back of her throat, that made even Lily look up from her textbook.

"It's not that I don't like _her_ ," Marlene said, tossing her wand into the air and catching it. "I just think Robert can do better."

"Do you like Robert?" I asked her, slightly confused, bookmarking the page on nonverbal defenses."I thought you liked Otto?"

Marlene raised her eyebrow at me, wearing a face of absolute accusation. "Otto _Bagman?_ " she asked sounding completely astounded. "Whatever gave you _that_ idea?" She crossed her long legs waiting for an answer.

"The way you draped yourself all over him after the Welcome Feast, for starters." I smirked.

"That?" Marlene asked, looking surprised. "That was nothing. It's Otto, for Merlin's sake. He's one of Landon's best friends. He's known me since I was born."

"That wouldn't stop someone from liking you," Lily reminded her gently, offering her a warm smile.

"That would probably only make him like you more," I said, thinking more on it. "Didn't you have play dates with Caradoc? And look how smitten he is."

"Don't remind me," Marlene muttered miserably, frowning at the thought. "But I still don't think Otto's interested in me." She twisted her hair into a loose knot, her face looking withdrawn as the possibility drifted through her wand.

"If you want, I'll ask Landon," Mary offered. "He'd tell me the truth. You should hear the stuff he tells me about the seventh years." She giggled softly.

"No way," Marlene shook her head, letting her hair fall loose. "I don't want to know even if it's true. You know how much Krysten likes Otto. The last thing I need is to get on that bird's bad side. She's absolutely mad sometimes. She makes _me_ look even-tempered."

"Krysten is barmy," Mary agreed, plopping another chunk into her mouth. "You should have heard the stories she told last year about that Vampire she knew."

Mary started in on the story about Krysten and the vampire. The ending was interrupted by the sound of quick footsteps coming around the corner. Dirk Cresswell was practically out of breath as he stopped in front of the four of us, looking highly disheveled. His shaggy hair was long and in his eyes, and he wasn't wearing his sweater. It was strange to see him without the company of his best friend, Tiberius McLaggen. They were usually inseparable. He had an armful of textbooks and parchment that were practically spilling over, and he looked utterly exhausted. I almost felt bad for him. He was beginning the hell on Earth that was the workload of fifth year.

"Doe!" he cried, looking relieved as he shifted the massive stack of textbooks. ""I've been looking _everywhere_ for you. Professor McGonagall sent me to find you. She needs you in her office."

"In her office?" I repeated, with a hearty sigh. That was never good. I'd been in there three times. Once for Career advice. Once for filling the Slytherin's common room with blood, and once to be told my parents were dead. Nothing good came from being called in there. At least there were only fifteen minutes to Potions. Whatever it was couldn't last long.

"Oooohhhhh," Marlene teased, nudging my knees with her foot. "Someone's in trouble."

Lily shook her flaming head. "Leave her alone, Marls. It's only the first week. Doe couldn't have even done anything wrong even if she wanted too."

"You two are not very good at easing my nerves, you know that?" I told them, watching them giggle as I got to my feet.

"Do you know what this is about?" I asked Dirk, slinging my bag over my shoulder. My mind was already going to dark places.

Dirk shook his head. "No idea. I'd hurry, though. Sounded important. I like the pin by the way," he pointed at the silver Puddlemore United badge that was pinned to the front of my robes.

"Thanks, Dirk."

"No problem, Doe. See you around." Dirk was already speeding off down the corridor, trying to read a chapter from his Charms textbook as he walked.

"I guess I'll meet you guys in class," I told them, and gave a quick goodbye, as I headed for Professor McGonagall's office.

"Good luck!" Lily called supportively as I rounded the corner.

My mind was racing the entire way there, wondering what was so important that Professor McGonagall had sent fifth years to find me during the break. I chewed on my bottom lip as I approached her office door, knocking with apprehension.

"Come in."

I nervously padded into the room, terrified of what was waiting for me. But the moment the door opened, all fear was replaced with incredulity.

"Ah, Ms. Meadowes. Good, come in. I see Mr. Cresswell took his _time_ locating you." Professor McGonagall was seated at her desk, but she didn't look angry or saddened, and that made me relax.

There were three chairs sitting in front of Professor McGonagall's desk, and occupying two of them were two people I hadn't expected. James and Sirius sat in front of our Head of House, looking delightfully cheery. Nerves filled my stomach once again at the sight of them. Nothing good ever came when Sirius _and_ James were involved. And certainly not when they looked that pleased. Whatever it was, I wasn't getting wrapped into it.

"I didn't do it!" I sputtered quickly, as the door slammed closed behind me.

Both James and Sirius snickered, and the ghost of a smile traced Professor McGonagall's face, as her eyeglasses slid down her nose.

"Got a guilty conscious, do you Meadowes?" Sirius asked cheekily. He leaned back in his chair and rested his arms behind his head.

I crossed my arms, trying to hide my smile. "With you, I've found it's usually better to be safe than sorry."

"Funny. That's is the _exact_ opposite of my life motto," Sirius said, confidently exchanging a smile with James.

Professor McGonagall ignored Sirius words and gestured to the open seat beside him. "Take a seat, Ms. Meadowes."

I plopped down in the wooden seat and tried to ignore the overly excited grin that Sirius was flashing me. He looked like an overeager dog waiting for a treat. It was a bit ironic.

"Can I ask what's this is about, Professor?" I asked, crossing my legs as James and and Sirius stared at the side of my head.

Professor McGonagall clasped her hands together and looked me seriously. Her eyebrows were raised in a firm manner, but the look she was giving me wasn't stern at all. She was looking at me with admiration, and excitement. Beside me, James and Sirius were looking at me the same way.

"As I'm sure you know, the Gryffindor team has lost two of it's chasers," Professor McGonagall began. "And we're in need to two people to replace them."

Now it was all starting to make sense. Why James and Sirius were here, and why I had been ordered here in such a cloak and dagger way.

"This is about _Quidditch?_ " I asked in disbelief. I had been expecting something so much worse. My brain had been drifting to dark places. Places that involved war and death. Not the Quidditch Pitch. I didn't know whether to feel more relieved or confused.

"This is about finally reclaiming Gryffindor's right to the House Cup, Ms. Meadowes," Professor McGonagall corrected. "It's been years since Gryffindor has won , despite having some of the most talented players in the school. This year, I am determined to see the team restored to its rightful glory. First, with the instating of a new Captain," her eyes fell on James, who for once, was completely focused on everything she was saying, "And second, with replacing the two chasers who have left with the best possible people."

"And you've called me in here to talk _shop?"_ I asked, feeling very uncomfortable at the way they were all still staring at me. "Because believe me I have ideas if you want to hear them."

I spent the better part of my free time talking about Quidditch. If the three of them wanted to hear ideas on how to make the time better, than I could go on for hours. In fact I did. After every match, Otto, Gideon and I spent half the day strategizing maneuvers.

"No, Ms. Meadowes," Professor McGonagall shook her head. "As charming as I find your sports analysis. We had something a little different in mind." She leaned back in her chair, letting it rock on it's back legs. "Mr. Black tells me that you're very good on a broom. He says you have _quite_ the arm."

 _Oh._ Oh no. I was going to kill him. My eyes drifted over to Sirius, ready to lob my wand at him. I had told him I didn't want to tryout for the team. I had said it to him a hundred times. He knew how I felt about it.

"Did he now?" I said coldly, narrowing my eyes in his direction. I was going to ream him out the second we left this office. He really had no sense.

"I thought it was my duty to share any information I had with my Captain" Sirius said proudly, clapping James on the shoulder. "Or do you _want_ Gryffindor to keep losing again this year?"

"They're definitely going to lose if I _murder_ one of their beaters," I whispered quietly.

"Well if you're going to make an attempt on my life, can you at least do it at Tryouts?"

"You're relentless!"

Professor McGonagall sighed at Sirius and I's squabbling and the sound of it made my attention turn back to her.

"I'm not sure what _he_ told you, Professor," I said, casting another dark look at Sirius, "But I'm really not that good, and I don't have any interest in trying out for the House Team. I like _watching_ the matches."

If I tried out for the team, and made it on. All of that went away. I wouldn't be a spectator any more. I'd be a participant. With the eyes of the entire school on me, and the pressure of the house cup.

Professor McGonagall eyed me carefully. "Well, I _like_ having the House Cup in my office, Ms. Meadowes, so you _will_ tryout for the House Team."

James and Sirius grinned. My disappointment must have been written on my face, because Professor McGonagall quickly added, "That is, if you still want a top notch recommendation for the Auror Program. I had been meaning to tell them all about your dedication, hard work and loyalty. I'd hate to call myself a liar."

She had found the perfect string to pull inside me. I didn't like to disappoint Professor McGonagall anyway, but she had managed to find the one that was even more important to me, my future. She had enough influence to dangle the auror program right in front of me.

Clearly, she was _very_ serious about Quidditch.

"I suppose I _could_ try out," I said, knowing that I was already defeated.

Professor McGonagall beamed. "Good. That's what I like to hear. Thank you, Ms. Meadowes. "

"Excellent," Sirius said happily, his leg bouncing in his chair. "Told you she'd cave, Prongs."

James' eyes moved quickly, like he was strategizing. "Let's hope she's as good as you say."

"She is."

I leaned back in my chair suddenly feeling very small. James, Sirius, and Professor McGonagall were all so passionate about the House team that they had conspired to get me to try-out. I should have known I was fighting a losing battle the second I saw the three of them together.

"So when were you thinking about having the try-outs, ?" McGonagall asked, a large quill pressed to the calendar in front of her.

"Oh, as soon as possible," James said. "This weekend, probably. We want to practising as soon as possible. I swear half the players on the team haven't worked out all summer."

"Very well then. How about Saturday at ten? Does this work for you?"

I had spent the entire morning looking forward to this weekend, and now I was starting to dread it. When everyone had agreed. Me, begrudgingly so, she wrote the date down on the calendar and promised to send James the names of the other hopefuls who hadn't been coerced into it.

"That's all for now," Professor McGonagall said, brushing the three of us out. "You three better head out before you're late to Potions. Professor Slughorn is waiting."

The three of us nodded and got up from our seats, heading for her office door.

"Thanks your time, Minnie," Sirius called cheekily, as he ducked through the door and out into the hallway. I waited until the door had slammed closed before I rounded on him.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" I demanded of him, hands on my hips. "How _many_ times have I told you I didn't want to try out for the House team?"

"Oh a hundred at least," Sirius answered, grinning confidently. "But I didn't think it mattered. You were being a bit daft about the whole thing, Meadowes. I've seen you play. You're good. And the team needs good players."

"Willing players," I corrected him. "Not ones who have been blackmailed into it!"

"Ha!" Sirius laughed loudly. " _Black_ -mailed! By me. That's hilarious."

I ignored the pun and narrowed my eyes at him. Then I turned to James. 'And you!" I pointed out. "I expect that from Sirius. But you? I thought you cared about the team. What kind of Captain coerces people into trying out?"

"The good kind," James reminded me, grinning so hard his glasses started to slid down the length of his thin nose.

"Come on, Doe. How can bad this actually be for you?" Sirius asked as the three of us began heading down to the Dungeons for Potions. "Don't you love Quidditch? Don't you care about Gryffindor?"

"You know I do," I said, feeling very exasperated as that the idea. "But, I haven't exactly had a lot of practice. I'm probably going to get laughed off the pitch and it's going to be both of _your_ faults."

" _Please_ ," Sirius snorted. "No one is going to laugh. Not when you're speeding through the pitch. Do you really think I would have recommended you if I didn't think you could hack it? I have a reputation to uphold, Meadowes. You'll be _fine._ "

"Famous last words," I muttered, unconvinced.

"Look at it this way," James suggested brightly, as the three of us jogged down a set of stairs. "You either get to be on the Gryffindor team or you finally have a good reason to hex, Sirius."

I grinned. " _There's_ the silver lining I was looking for." Sirius frowned, and he and James spent the rest of the walk strategizing about the try-outs that I tired to ignore.

When we got to the Dungeons, Slughorn had already arrived and the door to the Potions classroom was left open. Like our other N.E.W.T. classes this one was scattered with Sixth Years from all over the four houses, though there did seem to be more Slytherins than usual in the room. I found Lily and Mary clustered around one of the double desks and plopped down in the one behind them. It was strange to see them in this room without Marlene. But she had dropped this class too, claiming she'd rather "waste the hour staring into crystal balls and teac cups than ruin my hair with all that cauldron steam."

"There you are," Mary said, looking relieved. "I thought you were going to be late."

"Luckily the threatening didn't take very long," I muttered throwing a dirty look at Sirius, who had joined the others Marauders on the other side of the room.

"Threatening?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow as she shifted in her seat to look at me. "What are you talking about? Someone _threatened_ you?"

"Sort of," I took a deep breath and launched into it. "James and Sirius went behind my back to Professor McGonagall to get me to try out for the Quidditch team, and Professor McGonagall threatened to tank my auror recommendation if I didn't."

"You're joking," said Lily, looking rightfully confused. "They didn't."

"They _did._ "

"And after you told Sirius you didn't want too? What a little git."

She was eyeing him with contempt from her seat, and it was clear that all of her problems with Sirius from last year hasn't disappeared just because he and I had gotten close.

"In his defense," I said quickly, wanting to save Sirius from Lily's anger, "I _think_ he did it to try and help me. He thinks I'd like being on the team."

"I do too," Mary said happily, looking up from her book. "I mean you _love_ Quidditch, Doe. And James and Sirius are excellent at it. I don't think they'd tell you try if they didn't think you'd be good for the team. Not that I think they went about the right way," she added, seeing my reproachful look, "but I _do_ think it would be good for you try out."

I sighed, knowing Mary was acting as the voice of reason. "I suppose that's true. Not that I have much of a choice now."

Lily reached out to squeeze my shoulder comfortingly. "Tell you what. How about this weekend after your tryouts we try and sneak into the kitchens? I bet we could get them to smuggle us a cake or something. That way, whether your on the team or not we can sit in the Common Room and stuff our faces full of icing?"

"I could use a sugar coma or two," I said happily dragging out my potions textbook. "Count me in."

"Me too," Mary agreed. "I need a fix before we get to go back to Hogsmeade."

The rest of class slowly filtered into the room and when every seat was occupied. Slughorn appeared from his office, dressed in a violent green velvet vest, and beaming.

"Welcome back, my hungry pupils!" he chortled loudly, taking the time to eye everyone slowly. "This year is your first time taking N.E.W.T. level Potions and I think you will find it is much more challenging than the previous years."

"Goody," Mary whispered under her breath, making my mouth turn up into a smile.

"As such. I think I have come up with a solution that will make it easier for you to understand the concepts and widen your eyes to a little inter-house unity," Professor Slughorn said, unearthing a thick scroll from his breast pocket. "This year, everyone will have a Potions partner. You will sit beside this person in class, work together on assignments and hopefully lean on them when and _if_ you should need a little help."

Slughorn looked delighted and ignored the groans of annoyance that came from some of his less enthusiastic students.

James' hand shot into the air before Slughorn could say anything else, and Slughorn looked pleased. James' didn't often participate much in Potions besides trying to drop exploding ingredients into the Slytherins cauldron.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"I was wondering, Professor. Do we get to _choose_ our partners?" James asked hopefully, his gaze drifting over to Lily. She scowled, pretending not to notice as Mary and I exchanged a knowing glance.

Professor Slughorn gave James an appreciative look. "Unfortunately, no, Mr. Potter. I have already chosen the partners." He shook the scroll of parchment enthusiastically, and unrolled it slowly.

"I am _not_ working with a Slytherin," Mary said quietly, her voice low and angry. "I'd rather drop the class."  
I was silently praying that I ended up with anyone other than Narcissa or one of her Slytherin cronies.

"I will read the name of the partners aloud and then you can join them at a shared desk," Slughorn said looking decidedly more excited than anyone else in the room.

"Dearborn and Hopkirk

Burke and Smith

Evans and Potter

Burbage and Bones

Pettigrew and Davies

Black, Sirius and Warbeck

Black, Narcissa and Fortescue

Meadowes and Snape

Rosier and Diggory

Mulciber and Macdonald

Travers and Macmillan

Montague and Hooch

Trelawney and Wilkes

Meadowes and Snape

Nott and Boot "

There was an immediate flood of complaints as people heard who they were supposed to be partnered with. It was so loud that even Slughorn looked floored.

I felt an enormous disappointment flood me and I heard my name called in the same line as Snape's. I had been so worried about being placed with Narcissa or Elizabeth that I hadn't even considered how much I didn't want to work with Snape.

"Potter?" Lily demanded in shock. "How is that even possible? Everyone else got people from _other_ houses. What did he do? _Bribe_ Slughorn?"

"I wouldn't put it past him," I told her, looking at just how excited James was as he gathered all his belongings, chatting with the other Marauders. "You worth _at least_ a Galleon or two."

"I'm flattered you think _so_ highly of me," Lily joked, a touch of misery to her tone.

Beside her, Mary was stark white, and it took me a minute to realize why, trying to remember who she had been partnered with. It hit me like a ton of bricks, _Mulciber._

"How am I supposed to work with Mulciber?" she asked quietly, her gaze shifting over to where Mulciber sat, looking furious. "After what he did?"

"Oh Mary," I said softly, reaching over to take her hand.

"Tell Slughorn," Lily urged. "After what happened last year, I'm sure he'll let you switch."

Mary shook her head quickly, gathering her books with shaky hands. "No, that'll just make it worse. I don't want to give him the satisfaction. I'll just deal with it." She didn't say anything else, and simply moved to the seat beside Mulciber, not saying a word when he sneered at her.

"Poor Mary," Lily said softly.

"Hey Evans!" James said brightly, popping into the seat beside her. "What are the chances you and I are partners? It's like Fate."

"Or a punishment from God," Lily muttered miserably.

"Come on," James urged. "You did better than Meadowes. She got Snivellus. By the way, rotten luck, Doe."

"Tell me about it," I muttered miserably.

Snape was seated at the front of the room and didn't look like he planned on moving, so I gathered my books and decided to join him. I had no intentions of being any more cordial than this. I didn't like Snape and I wasn't going to pretend that I did.

I plopped my books down in the open seat beside him and stared forward intent on ignoring him for the rest of the lesson. Something that proved difficult when Slughorn told us that we were to scan the textbook and work together with our partners to write a list of the ten potions we'd like to be able to master before the end of the year.

Ten minutes into the lesson and half the class was either bickering or getting nothing done. I had been slipping through the book silently, hell bent on not talking to Snape for as long as possible.

The communal parchment was in between our textbooks and Snape kept yanking over to him to scribble something down in his messy handwriting.

"Do you plan on sharing any of those with me or are you planning on doing your _own_ assignment?" I asked coldly, as he wrote down yet another Potion on our shared parchment.

"I'm making sure the assignment gets done," Snape spat coldly. "I didn't have the confidence that you would do it correctly."

My eyes immediately looked up full of intense loathing. "Yeah and why's that, Snape? Because last time I checked, my Potions marks were just as high as _yours_."

"I don't like your tone," Severus said coldly, his hook nosed turned down as he eyed me with contempt. "I'd much prefer to sit in silence and do it by myself."

"As much as loathe the idea, the assignment was to work _together,"_ I reminded him. "I'm going to do my part. I'm not going to sit here and let you all do the work so you can complain about me later to Slughorn." I yanked the piece of parchment back from his textbook and scribbled down a Potion of my choosing.

Snape scowled and turned back to his textbook. "You know I _really_ don't like you, Dorcas. "

Of course he would use my full name. There wasn't a single person in this castle who didn't know just how much I hated that. He was exploiting it. I was really starting to truly hate Snape. Any trace of pity I felt for him for losing Lily had disappeared.

"It's Doe," I corrected him firmly. "And thanks for the input. I'll be sure to journal about it later.

Sure you don't want to add anything else? I'm not a Muggleborn so you can't use any insulting slurs like you usually do, but I'm sure if I gave you some time you could come up with something equally as nasty."

I had hit my mark. Bringing up the incident with Lily had hit Snape hard. His upper lip curled over his teeth and his hand reached twitched toward his wand on the desk.

"Lily doesn't need the likes of _you_ , defending her," Snape spat at me.

I flashed him a cruel smile. "That's what friends do for one another. I could see how that's confusing for you, seeing as your not one of those anymore."

This time, Snape did reach for his wand, but I didn't have anything to worry about. Slughorn was back in the front of the room and had magically summoned our assignments to him, ending class with a small speech on getting to know our partners that had Snape and I glaring at one another. I left the second I was able too, ditching the desk and catching up with my friends, who were lingering outside of the door waiting for me. Each of them looked as exhausted and exasperated as I did.

"That was the worst bloody Potions lesson I have ever had," Mary complained loudly.

"Is it too late to drop Potions and switch Careers?" I joked, half-heartedly. "I mean how much did I _really_ want to be an auror anyways?"

"That bad?" Lily asked, sympathetically. She looked like she had quite the lesson herself. The Marauders were only a feet away, and Lily kept eyeing James with contempt.

"Snape is such a miserable little git," I swore quietly. "I don't know how you standed him for so long."

"Truthfully, me either," Lily said shrugging. 'He's so cruel now. He didn't used to be that way. I think his house mates finally got to him."

'I don't know how someone couldn't go dark being around _Mulciber_ all the time," Mary said, growing more enraged as we made our way down the corridor. "You know he called me Mudblood twelve times during that lesson? I counted."

"He's a toad-faced idiot, Mare," I said to her, gathering my hair into a bun. "You can't let anything he says bother you."

"Yeah," Mary muttered unenthusiastically. "I guess."

I couldn't help but think Mary was right somehow. Being partners with Snape for the rest of the year was probably going to make me despise potions.

The rest of the day passed slowly. We had a very challenging lesson in Transfiguration that did require us to use non-verbal spells that had half the class stressed about having not mastered yet. We spent most of the class filling Marlene in on what had happened in Potions.

"You guy make me really glad I wasn't there," Marlene told us as the four of us dropped down into one of the squishy chairs in the Common Room. We were all very spent from the day we'd had. I curled my legs underneath me, resting my head on the back of the cushion.

"We missed having you there, though, Marls," I told her stifling a yawn. "It wasn't the same without you."

Marlene grinned. "As touching as that is, Doe. I skipped Divination and spent the afternoon in a broom closet with Jonathan Bell, so I think I made the right choice." She moved her collar aside to show off a fresh set of hickies on her neck.

"Jonathan Bell is very good-looking," Lily giggled. "He's the one with the blonde hair. Right?"

Marlene nodded, "And the perfect full lips." She flashed the other side of her neck, where she had a matching set. The three of us giggled as she tossed her hair confidently.

"You don't waste any time do you?" Mary asked jokingly.

"Says the girl that was down here all night with Landon," Marlene reminded her. "Or did you think we didn't notice you crawling back into the dormitory at _dawn?_ "

Mary flashed her a crooked grin and hugged one of the pillows to her chest, as she blushed.

I let my head rest on the my arm, and my eyes slipped closed, at the sound of their laughter.

"If I fall asleep here please don't let any first years jinx me, okay?" I whispered softly, stifling another yawn.

"Three sickles and you've got a deal," Marlene joked.

" _Mean."_

It felt like my eyes had barely been closed for a second, when a charming voice called, "That long of a day, huh?"

Gideon's voice made my eyes immediately fly open, as I shifted into a more ladylike position on the couch. Gideon, Fabian, and Otto were leaning over the back of the couch across from ours, and my friends had greeted them, each of them sheepish for having not noticed them and woken me up sooner.

"Something like that," I said nervously, sounding much more exhausted than I intended.

Gideon smiled. "I did try to warn you about how exhausting sixth year was, but you were dead set on going through with it anyway."

Marlene let out a low laugh, and Otto's attention turned to her immediately.

"I know. Damn my need for continuing my education," I chuckled softly, crossing my legs to keep them from bouncing nervously.

"It really will be the death of you," Gideon joked, smiling at me, as my friends watched on in interest. Otto snorted.

Fabian gave his brother a strange look, raising an eyebrow at him. " If you still want to go out to the grounds we better do it now, Giddy."

Gideon sighed. "Right. We should go. I'll see you later, Doe."

"Bye, Gideon."

The three of them disappeared out of the portrait hole and the moment they were gone Lily was nudging me in the shoulder excitedly. "See! I told you that Rabastan thing didn't mean anything."

"He said two things to me, Lils. That doesn't exactly prove very much," I reminded her.

"But it's _how_ he said it," Marlene clarified you. "Honestly, Doe. Open your eyes. He was staring at you like you were a Comet '77. It's exactly the way Potter stares at Lily, except more subtle."

Lily groaned, "Please don't bring up Potter tonight. I've already had my fill of him for the day."

"Sorry," Marlene apologized, tossing her legs up onto the coffee table, "But it's true."

After that, Marlene and Lily became very engaged in a conversation about James' true intentions towards her, while I let myself consider the possibility that Marlene _was_ right. Could Gideon like me?

The thought put a nice little smile on my face that lasted even through Mary and Marlene's vivacious disagreement about which member of Goblin Gang had gone to Beauxbatons.

* * *

I spent the rest of the week terrified about the looming Quidditch tryouts. After much thought and deliberation, I had decided that James and Sirius' motivations might not have been as devious as I thought, and that possibly they might have been trying to do what was best for Gryffindor. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that if Sirius, who was a fantastic beater himself, really thought I was good enough to make the team, then maybe I was. But that had filled me with a new dread. What if I wasn't good _enough?_ Maybe that day on the pitch last winter break had been a fluke. I had been distracted, having fun with Sirius and maybe that's why I had played well. Who knew what would happen when I was on the pitch with other hopefuls. I didn't even own a broom for Merlin's sake. What if everyone there was better and I made a fool of myself? What if everyone laughed me off the pitch?

That idea kept me up tossing and turning the night before tryouts. I had only told my friends about it. I didn't want everyone else to know I was going out for the team in case I made a horrible fool of myself. Narcissa and Rabastan didn't need information like that.

I woke up really early on Saturday morning, wanting to give myself plenty of time to prepare, and a little time to reflect. My roommates were all still asleep, snoring softly as I crawled out of bed and rifled through my trunk for something to wear. I settled on a long-sleeved Puddlemere United tshirt and a pair of stretchy pants, slipping on a pair of worn in sneakers for good measure. I also made sure my wand was sheathed in my pocket. I didn't go anywhere without it these days.

I took my time in the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth twice to calm my nerves. When I finished with that, I secured my hair out of my face. It had gotten really long lately and even the ponytail swung far down my back. When I emerged from the bathroom, all of my roommates were still peacefully snoozing, so I decided to head down to the Common Room with my very worn copy of _Beating the Bludgers - A Study of Defensive Quidditch by Kennilworthy Whisp._ When all else failed, reading always helped to soothe me. Maybe I could even pick up a tip or two before tryouts.

The Common Room was completely deserted when I got down there, so I plopped down in the comfy armchairs by the boy's dormitory, and buried myself in the chapter on chasers. I'd barely gotten through five pages when a disheveled Sirius came stumbling through the portrait hole in yesterday's uniform.

He looked tired, but still shamelessly confident. He was heading directly for the dormitory when he noticed me and grinned.

"Meadowes?" Sirius called, "What are you doing up this early? A bit excited for tryouts, are we?"

He looked tired, but somehow even despite the hour he managed to look attractive. He swept his hair into a low bun and yawned.

"I'd ask what you were up for, Sirius, but considering your still wearing yesterday's robes I think I have a pretty good idea," I teased.

"Fiona Mills was desperate to show me what she's done with her four poster. It looks _delightful_ ," said Sirius euphemistically. He played with a string on the end of his sweater, looking a bit haughty.

"You do realize it's only the _first_ week back, right?" I said, shaking my head at Sirius' logic.

"I'm good-looking, Meadowes. What do you expect? I'm sorry I can't be as sneaky as _you_ are," he chuckled. His brows furrowed for a moment and then he looked back at me curiously. "Actually, come to think of it I don't think I've _ever_ seen you stumbling back in here on a walk of shame."

My cheeks burned bright red at his words and I didn't look up from my book, hoping to Merlin that Sirius would just drop the subject.

" _Doe?_ " Sirius called enthusiastically. I didn't say anything, a familiar sense of embarrassment washed over me at I continued to blush. This was something I had only ever talked about with Lily, Mary and Marlene. It was not a conversation I'd ever thought I would be having with Sirius. No matter how close we'd become. I hoped I wouldn't have too. Sirius had other plans.

One of his eyebrows was raised suggestively, and he looked downright delighted.

"You're not a _virgin_ are you, Meadowes?" Sirius asked loudly, a sly smile stretched across his mouth as he examined my face.

"Merlin, Sirius! Why not just shout it a bit louder?" I implored, tossing a heavy, embroidered pillow at him. "I think there's still some people in _Ravenclaw_ tower who didn't hear you."

Sirius leaned back in his chair and crossed his extremely long legs. He pressed two long fingers to his temple and surveyed me as I squirmed nervously. He looked years older when he did that. It reminded me of his Uncle Alphard.

" _Please_ stop watching me like that," I begged, burrowing myself deeper in the couch. I wasn't sure why it was so hard for me to have Sirius know this. We'd talked about everything else. Things I'd considered more personal, like my past and my family. But for some reason, having him know _this_ made my stomach knot up.

"I'm just a little surprised is all," Sirius said, his grey eyes roaming over me. "Can you blame me? You're a good-looking bird who likes Quidditch. I would have thought you'd have done that already. Especially considering how good of friends you are with McKinnon. She practically does walking tours of the Hogwarts dormitories." He chuckled at his own joke.

"Well I haven't, _okay?_ " I said sinking as deep as I could into the chair, my cheeks still pink. I'd never wished I knew how to apparate more. Disappearing at will would come in handy right about now.

"Relax, Meadowes," Sirius said shaking his head. "It's not a big deal. Were friends right? We care about each other? Friends don't shame other friends for not having shagged. Or having shagged _too_ much, in my case."

"So help me god Sirius if you tell the rest of your Marauders about this," I threatened, leaning up in the chair. I didn't finish the threat. I couldn't think of a good enough way to end it that would put the fear of Merlin into him.

"Why does everyone think I'm incapable of keeping secrets?" Sirius demanded, throwing his hands into the air. "You. Moony. Prongs. You'd swear I'm Wormtail the way people talk about it."

"Because we have anecdotal history that you sort of suck at it," I told him honestly. "As evidenced by the fact that everyone knows I live in an orphanage."

Sirius frowned. "Right. _That._ I thought we were considering that a lapse in judgement?"

"We are. So long as there are no _more_ lapses."

Sirius grinned, getting up from his armchair and squishing into mine with me. He leaned in close to my ear.

"I solemnly swear to never divulge that status of your sexual history to anyone, lest I ruin our friendship, alright?" he whispered.

"Lest you ruin our friendship _and_ end up with a nasty Horn Tongue hex," I added threateningly.

Sirius gave me a confident nod, and I relaxed slightly, assured that he understood how serious I was.

The strange thing about being friends with Sirius was that everytime I thought I'd never be able to imagine sharing something with him, I always could. For such a dramatic person, he had an astounding ability to be understanding. He understood me.

"You know," Sirius said, his grin spreading as he looked at me, his finger tracing my thigh. "If you ever want to change your _situation_ , I'd be _more_ than happy to help. What are friends for, right?"

My mouth fell open so quickly it made Sirius instantly laugh, and it took me a few seconds to close it.

"You are unbelievable," I said smacking away his hand, and trying to contain my laughter.

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't try," Sirius winked in response.

I rolled my eyes as I turned back to my book, feeling much less nervous about the tryouts than I had before. It was hard to be nervous when Sirius was around.

Still chuckling and entertained with himself, Sirius moved to look at the cover of the book I was reading and sighed. "Really, Meadowes. You're _studying_ for Quidditch tryouts?"

I ignored the tone of humor in his voice, and clutched the book tighter, continuing to read the chapter on Chasers. "Reading _relaxes_ me."

"I'm telling you, you have nothing to be nervous about," Sirius said with a sigh. "You're loads better than Saggle and Wheaton were. I swear those two dropped the quaffle so much it was like it was covered in stink sap." He rolled his eyes at the memory.

There was a sound of thumping footsteps as someone climbed down the staircase from the boy's dormitory. Gideon appeared in the stairway, dressed in his familiar leather jacket, and whistling softling.

He faltered when he saw us, grinning widely at me and then almost immediately throwing Sirius an apprehensive look.

"Hey Gideon," I called enthusiastically, dropping the book on the table. Beside me, Sirius blinked looking from Gideon and I with a raised eyebrow.

Gideon smiled, flashing me his dimples as he skipped across the Common Room and stopped in front our armchair.

"Wow, Doe. You're up early," he praised, sticking his hands in the pocket of his jacket. "Doing anything fun today?"

What a loaded question. Beside me, Sirius snickered and I elbowed him silently in the ribs.

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked Gideon, bringing my knees to my chest. I tried to flash him a charming smile, but I was sure it my nerves made it come off wrong. I did a quick eyelash flutter than I learned from Marlene for good measure.

Gideon nodded eagerly as his posture straightened. "I'm _great_ at it, actually."

" _Show off_ ," Sirius whispered quietly in my ear. I elbowed him again, still looking at Gideon.

"I'm trying out for the Gryffindor quidditch team this morning," I told Gideon, scanning his handsome face for any sign of doubt or disbelief. Instead I was met with a wide, welcoming smile.

"That's fantastic," he said proudly, looking genuinely excited. "It's about time, don't you think? I've never met anyone who loves Quidditch as much as you do." he paused. "Though, it will be sad to lose you in the stands. There's nothing better than hearing you fire off a string of well phrased swear words. You could make a grown man blush."

His comment made me smile. "If you want to hear me swear, all you have to do is watch me in an Herbology lesson. I'm dreadful. I usually end up swearing anyway."

"Now, _that_ I'd pay to see," Gideon said jovially. "I doubt you're dreadful at anything."

Sirius snorted quietly. "You'd be surprised."

Both Gideon and I looked at him for a fraction of a second, and Sirius busied himself with slinging his arm over the back of the armchair.

"Well, I'm rooting for you, Doe," said Gideon honestly, "I have to help Hagrid organize some unicorn tail hairs, but I'll stop by and watch if I can. See you in action. I bet everyone i'll just drop out the moment you walk onto the pitch."

Now I was grinning ear to ear, with a new pit of nerves forming at the idea of another person watching me. "Thanks Gideon. Say hello to Hagrid for me!"

"Will do," Gideon said, "And good luck. Not that _you_ need it." He winked before he disappeared through the portrait hole.

I watched him go, turning around in the chair, pink-faced and giddy. Since this year had begun, every time Gideon and I interacted it seemed to be different. More fun. It made me excited at the possibility. I bit my bottom lip, practically bouncing in my seat.

Sirius was watching me carefully, an eyebrow raised. "Do you _still_ like Prewett?" he asked, sounding slightly surprised. His voice was kind of strained. Tense.

I was still in an extremely good mood from what had just transpired with Gideon, and just managed to nod my head.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked, my look still lingering at the portrait hole where Gideon had been a moment ago.

Sirius' face was strangely blank as he looked at me, and then his gaze drifted down to his hand, where he picked at his fingernail. "No reason."

He was quiet for a second and then his face was back to normal. His confident grin reemerged on his face and he pulled himself from the chair. "I should go get changed, can't help with tryouts in yesterday's robes can I? What kind of role model would I be for the firsties?"

Sirius gave a dramatic bow and disappeared up the stairs to the dormitory, taking them two at the time. Meanwhile, my head was racing. I was still nervous about tryouts, and now I was thinking about Gideon's flirting, and Sirius' strange behavior too. It was a lot to think about and it was barely 8 am.

* * *

"Remind me," Lily asked, an hour later as the four of us left the castle "are we hoping you _do_ make it on the team or you don't?"

The four of us were trudging down the familiar path to the Quidditch pitch, snacking on pieces of toast that Mary had wrangled from the Great Hall. I was grateful they had all decided to join me out here. It would make me feel better knowing the three of them would be in the stands.

"Excellent question," Mary said evenly, plopping another half of toast in her mouth . "I need to know whether or not I should trash talk that other people from the stands."

"It's too early for me to comprehend any answer you give," Marlene told me, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and eating at the same time. Mary was practically leading her.

There was an early September chill in the air and it made my lungs feel fresh and clean. The kind of weather that made me want to go for a jog.

I chuckled. "The only thing worse than being forced to try out is being forced to try out and _failing._ "

I let my eyes wander down towards the pitch, where scattered groups of our housemates were making there way to the stands, chatting happily and loudly. Just up ahead, I could make out the shape of Bertha Jorkins, a gossipy fourth year, clutching her own brand-new broom.

"I wish I had a broom," I said wistfully, thinking about how nice the one Sirius had was. That one had felt like a dream.

Lily shook her head, "I don't know a lot about Quidditch, Doe, but I do know that James Potter never shuts up about how 'the broom does _not_ make the player'."

"Did you just quote _James Potter_ to me?" I asked, grinning at the way it made Lily's smile fall from her face.

"Yes, alright? But he's only right 1/1000th of the time, so it's _very_ unlikely it will ever happen again." Lily demanded, ignoring my delighted giggling.

"Ha! I'm going to tell him you said that."

"Might I suggest you tell him _after_ tryouts?" Mary said shaking her head. "I mean I remember how bad Landon was during his tryouts. Can you imagine what James will be like? I'm betting a drill sergeant."

"Oh he's going to be a menace," Marlene agreed as we approached the stands. "Especially with Landon behind him pouting the whole time. James is going to want to prove he deserves to be captain."

"I still don't think McGonagall should have given it to James while Landon still goes here," Mary said softly.

Marlene snorted. "Come on, Mare. I love Landon too, but he was running this team into the ground. McGonagall wants to win. James was the right choice."

I didn't have time to hear the rest of the back and forth between Marlene and Mary. We had reached the entrance to the pitch and I gave them a quick wave before disappearing through the changing rooms with the other hopefuls.

"Good Luck!" Lily called proudly as I did.

When I entered the tent, it was full of everyone trying out for the team. Several people were sitting on the benches or stretching. Some were leaning against the changing lockers looking nervous or very confident. Each of them was dressed comfortably, and seemingly very focused. There were about twelve of us in here, and I recognized everyone even if I didn't know there names. Bertha Jorkins stood in the corner whispering quietly to her fellow fourth years Erasmus Fudge and Isaac Holmes, each of them eyeing a particularly scrawny third year boy with amusement. I was surprised to see about half of the people in this room were first and second years. There seemed to be a strange energy in the room that didn't feel at all like the Gryffindor Common Room. I knew it was a competition but did everyone have to look at each other like that?

"Doe?" Tiberius McLaggen asked happily, coming to my side. "I didn't know you were trying out!"

Tiberius was decked out in a Wilbourne Wasps jersey that made his blond, curly hair even more pronounce. I was pleased to see he hadn't brought his own broom either.

"Hey Ty!" I greeted him, happy to see that there were at least some familiar, kind faces in the room. "Yeah, it was a bit of a last minute decision, and took some prodding from McGonagall."

"Not that we're surprised to see you," Dirk added kindly, coming to his best friend's side. "I lost my entire summer pocket money to you last year betting on the matches. Otto Bagman warned me that almost _no one_ likes Quidditch as much as you do."

"He only says that because he loses our bet every Quidditch World Cup," I grinned. "Last year he bet Luxembourg would beat Uganda, but Uganda would catch the snitch. As if that _ever_ happens."

Both Tiberius and Dirk groaned. "What was he thinking?" Dirk demanded.

"No idea. But you know Otto. He _loves_ the snitch."

I smiled at the memory, feeling a particular fondness for Otto and our Quidditch talks. I hoped silently that if I did make the team, they wouldn't go away. Though the possibility was starting to seem more bleak as I watched Sylvanus Figg, a particularly muscled fifth year, toss his broom into the air and catch it with the same hand.

The curtains to the pitch opened and Landon popped his head in. He was dressed in his full quidditch uniform and his face was very tense. He cast a quick look around the room surveying each of us and then nodded.

"All right, you lot," he said evenly. "Potter wants you all out on the pitch. Bring your brooms if you've got them. If you don't, grab one from here and follow me."

Landon waved his wand and the cabinet to his right opened its doors, showcasing a set of used school brooms. There was a slight shuffle as the rest of us reached and picked the best one we could find. I was pleasantly to surprised to find a 64' _Shooting Star_ in decent condition. Tiberius and Dirk both offered me a kind smile before the three of us filed out of the tent onto the pitch.

I felt all of my nerves return the moment I set foot on the grassy plane of the Quidditch Pitch. I'd never been on this part before. The game was played in the sky, and I'd never seen it from anywhere but the stands. It looked so different from this angle.

The stands were towering, so high I could barely see the tops of them, and I wouldn't until I was in the air on a broom. I clutched the handle of my broom tighter.

In the middle of the pitch stood the Gryffindor Quidditch team, all dressed in their full uniform. Landon moved to join them, sitting morosely on the trunk beside Fabian Prewett. Hestia and Sirius were whispering something to one another, and Sirius made sure to give me a dramatic wink as he did. James was stood in front, arms crossed and broom clenched tightly in one of his hands.

"So you lot think you have what it takes to join the _Gryffindor_ Quidditch team?" James demanded, "You think you're good enough to represent the house of the brave and valiant?"

Behind him, Landon looked absolutely miserable. It was clearly killing him to not be leading these tryouts, and it made me think about what Mary had said. Was picking James as captain cruel of Professor McGonagall or pragmatic? I had to believe the latter. She was always dedicated to making sure we were all happy and cared for.

James took to pacing in front of the group of hopefuls. "This year things are going to be different. We're completely revitalizing the team, and that is going to take time _and_ talent. _Lots_ of it. We're going to train for longer. Train harder. And train better. It has to be your top priority. We're going to spend so much time on this pitch that it's going to call us Mum, you understand? And if any of you sorry lot aren't prepared for that, well then I'd leave now. "

" _Here we go_ ," Hestia said, rolling her eyes goonaturely behind him. "I think the captains badge has pierced James' heart."

"Oi, Prongs. This isn't Azkaban you know," Sirius reminded him. "Lighten it up a bit."

James grinned. "By the end of this tryout you all might think you _are_ in Azkaban. It's going to be _that_ hard, understand?"

Behind him, the team snickered loudly. I knew how they felt. As serious as he was about Quidditch, it was still hard to look at James and see someone you should fear.

The first and second years didn't seem to have this problem, his little speech had them quivering in fear. Something that seemed to delight James.

"Alright, so here's how were going to tackle this dragon," James started, looking determined, "We're going to start with laps around the pitch to see how you all fly. It's a measure of speed and skill. I don't need anyone on this team who can't do twenty laps.

He eyed the first years harshly and then continued,

"After that, I'll let those of you who didn't make it go, and we'll try the rest of you in some scrimmage games."

Everyone mounted their brooms, some very nervously. The Gryffindor team were already in the sky, ready to watch and observe.

"Good luck, eh?" Dirk said as he kicked off of the ground beside Tiberius.

"You too," I told him and joined them both in the skies.

The moment I was on the broom, I felt instantly better. Weightless even. It felt _right._ I rose quickly so that I was even with everyone else in the sky, getting a feel for the way that this particular broom moved. It was decent. I could work with it.

James watched with complete disillusionment as half the first and second years couldn't rise into the sky. Four of them gave up, and shuffled off the pitch embarrassed. We waited a minute for the others to get to our height, and as we did, I noticed the stands for the first time. Devoid of their banners they looked slightly bare, except for the few spectators who had gathered to watch. Marlene, Mary and Lily were clustered together, they were watching excitedly and offered me a thumbs up. A few rows behind them, sat Otto and Gideon. And in the very front row, watching the pitch like a hawk, was Professor McGonagall.

At James' second whistle, the rest of us remaining in the air took off around the pitch. The broom I was riding shot through the air like a missle and it took me a few seconds to get control of it. It had been almost a year since I had ridden one, but it felt like it had been barely a minute. The air parted for me, as I started to feel the rhythm of the broom. And in seconds, I passed the remaining first and third years, Bertha, Sylvanus and Isaac, and caught up to both Dirk and Tiberius. The three of lead the pack, flying through the air together, twenty feet ahead of everyone else.

It was freeing to be on the pitch. I couldn't understand why I had been so hesitant before. This feeling was too good to pass up, even if I ended up making a fool of myself later.

I was keenly aware of the Gryffindor team watching us like hawks. They hovered in the middle of the air, whispering to one another every time we passed. When James finally whistled again, we all stopped and the remaining first years dropped to the ground, unable to go on any longer. Sirius snickered, leaning all the way back onto his broom. "Ickle firsties."

Fabian tossed his beaters bat at Sirius' broom and Sirius caught it without looking. Hestia grinned, and smacked her gum inside her mouth. "Must you two always throw those _things_ around?"

"Why do you alway have to make that sound _so_ dirty, Hestia?" Fabian said shaking his head.

Hestia blew a bubble in response and popped it with her tongue.

James was too busy surveying the rest of us to notice what his teammates were doing. "Alright," he said getting everyone's attention. "Based on what I saw out there they only people I want to scrimmage are Cresswell, McLaggen, Meadowes and Figg."

Bertha and Isaac and a handful of the younger years looked furious as they dropped from the sky and stomped away.

Only four people left. Four people for two spots. Those weren't odds that I hated. They were good odds. I had a fifty-fifty chance.

James took the next few minutes to explain how the scrimmaging would work. We would do four practice rounds with each of us as chaser, and whoever scored the most goals would win. Sylvanus went first and scored three. Tiberius went next and impressed everyone by scoring five. Dirk did solid too, scoring four goals, only fumbling on the first one.

By the time it was my turn I was nervous and very aware of the growing crowd in the stands. It seemed like many of our house mates had made their way down to the pitch after breakfast and now we had amassed an audience.

The second James blew his whistle, everyone sprung into action and I was transported into a Quidditch match. It was exactly like I had practiced with Sirius the year before and somehow completely different.

I took off on the broom, the quaffle nestled under my arm. I decided to show off a little, trying to ignore that Landon, and James were both tailing me trying to wrestle the quaffle away. I leaned forward and flew through the pitch. Both James and Landon were fast, and practically stuck to the end of my broom like glue. I did what I could to shake them. Diving and dipping as I sped at top speed, but nothing would lose them.

I knew my biggest strength was how far I could throw. It had impressed Sirius already. If he was being honest, then I could use it to my advantage. Both of them would expect me to throw it the closer I got to Hestia. They wouldn't see it coming. I waited until I was further from the hoops, circling through the pitch again and then threw it from the halfway line.

Even hundreds of feet in the air I could hear the intake of breath and gasps from some of the players as I did. I knew it was a risky move. But if it worked, I'd be able to prove myself.

The quaffle went speeding through the air, and I tore after it. I was only inches from it when it flew through the topmost hoop. I had anticipated this, and swung back around to catch it again, aware of the screaming voices of my friends as I did. From a few feet away, Sirius looked vindicated. "Told you, Prongs" he said as he flew back to the middle.

James looked mildly impressed. "One down, four to go, Meadowes."

"Your wish is my command, Potter," I told him and lined myself up again for the next round.

The next three were harder. Now that they know how far I could throw, the other players stepped up and never left my side as we barreled through the air. I decided to work on precision rather than distance, seeing as Hestia could block just about everything. I had to be trickier. I made the next three shots, and even managed to avoid the bludgers that James had taken out for the fourth.

"You trying to kill me, Sirius?" I called cheekily, as I got control of my broom again.

Sirius grinned and tossed his beater bat into the air. "Just trying to keep things fair, darling."

I snorted. 'Sirius _Impartial_ Black?"

"You know it, Meadowes."

When I got to my fifth shot, a bludger ricoheted off of one of the stands, almost came smacking into my skull, and I had to spin my broom upside down to avoid it. The quaffle slipped from my hands at the last second and fell to the ground. I frowned, slightly discouraged.

Sirius was hovering in the sky by Hestia, and winked encouragingly. It made me a feel a little better. At least this way, if I didn't make it on the team, I wasn't disappointing any one.

"You're actually _disappointed_ that you missed one, aren't you?" Fabian chuckled, wrestling one of the bludgers under his arm, as the other team mates gathered in the middle beginning to deliberate.

"Wouldn't you be?" I asked him, trying to catch my breath. "If you missed one?"

Fabian shook his head. "Not if I made a shot from a hundred feet away. I'd be feeling pretty good about myself right now if I were you."

"Thanks Fabian," I said brightly.

"I should go and help decide," Fabian said, His eyes drifted to the stands for a second, where Gideon waved encouragingly.

"I see my brother's here," Fabian said, chuckling slightly, as we both returned it. " _Funny._ He's never showed up to one of my tryouts before. I wonder what could have possibly motivated him to show up to _this_ one?" He flashed me a knowing look and flew back to his teammates making me blush.

I was now very aware of how I must look. I knew I had to be sweating and pink-cheeked. Pieces of silvery hair had escaped from my ponytail and surrounded my face, but I didn't care. I was too exhilarated. That had been fun. I couldn't _believe_ I had had to be talked into it.

I circled back and dropped down to the ground to wait with Dirk, Tiberius and Sylvanus, trying not to be nervous.

"You did good," Tiberius said encouragingly.

Dirk nodded. "Excellent."

"So did you guys," I said, leaning back on my broom. "I had no idea that either of you could fly like that."

"I joined a summer camp," Tiberius said proudly. "It really improved my speed per minute."

I smiled at them both. "It really paid off. You were like a bludger out there."

Sylvanus said nothing to any of us. He just looked nervous. If the team went off scores alone, it would come down to Dirk, Tiberius and I. Sylvanus seemed to know this. When the team broke out of their circle they dropped through the air and landed on the ground. Both Dirk and Tiberius straightened up, and Sylvanus looked miserable.

"Alright you lot," James said stopping in front of the three of us. "We've talked it over and thought about which of you were the best, and which of you can handle the commitment of this team. Because let me tell you, it's going to be a _big_ commitment."

"Come on Prongs, we get it. You're the big bad-ass captain," Sirius snickered behind him.

Fabian nodded. 'Honestly, James. Enough already. Just tell them. Some of us have other things to do today."

"Why do you guys lack creativity and vision?" James demanded, flipping on his broom with ease. "You're _ruining_ the moment."

Hestia rolled her eyes as the rest of the team laughed. "McLaggen and Meadowes, welcome to the team," she said.

Excitement replaced every ounce of nervousness that I had felt a minute before. I was thrilled, surprised at how thrilled I was, considering I had been so hesitant. To my left, Dirk clapped Tiberius on the shoulder giving him an understanding smile before slowly dragging his feet off his pitch.

Before I had a chance to say anything, Sirius threw an arm around my shoulders and hugged me tightly.

"What I tell you, Meadowes?" Sirius asked, squeezing me. "Why do you _never_ take my advice?"

"If I always took your advice I'd end up in detention a lot more," I reminded him.

"At least he was right about your arm," Hestia said proudly. "You nearly knocked me off my broom with shock when you made that first shot. You're a natural born chaser."

"Yeah yeah she's talented all right," James said coming beside us. "But practices are going to be a lot? You sure you're up for it?"

A week before I might have said no. But now, I was too enthralled to say no. James and Sirius had been right. There was no way to love Quidditch _this_ much and not be a part of it. I was committed to the Gryffindor team now.

I gave an eager nod. "I'm all in."

"Good," James said, "Now McLaggen come over here. I want to talk about practices."

Both Tiberius and I were sporting silly smiles as James outlined our practice schedules. He wanted to have practice first thing Monday afternoon but when Hestia threatened mutiny, he postponed it and promised he'd tell us all when.

Finally, exhausted and sweaty, the rest of the Gryffindor team and I left the pitch talking excitedly about the prospects of the season.

"I really think this is finally going to give us the edge we need," James said clutching his broom with fever as he watched Tiberius and I. "If we train you two up a bit, there's no reason we can't win every match."

"Every match?" Fabian chuckled. "Way to aim _low_ , James."

James grinned, practically skipping out of the tent. "The Quidditch Cup is going to be ours this year, okay? We're Gryffindor. We've got this."

"Why do I have the feeling that this is going to be a _long_ season?" Sirius asked, with a deep sigh.

"Because you're very smart, Padfoot," James laughed. Sirius groaned.

"I'm just glad there's finally another girl on the team," Hestia said coming up beside me. "They'll finally be someone on my side when these blokes start acting foolish." I grinned at her.

"Do you mean _me?_ " Sirius asked bluntly, looking entertained, "because you can't make Doe choose a side. She's one of my best friends. It's a losing battle for you, Hest."

"Right. Because you and I never disagree?" I asked him, chuckling before I could get the words out. Sirius threw another arm over my shoulder.

"I mean _all_ of you," Hestia corrected, turning to me with a sympathetic smile. "You should hear some of the foul stuff these lot say during practices. It'll curl your hair."

"Like you don't say far worse things," Fabian reminded her. "You would make Merlin himself blush with what _you_ say during matches."

Hestia and Fabian entered into a quick-witted argument that had the rest of the team laughing as we made our way back to the grounds. James and Sirius dipped out quickly, mentioning something about _Marauder business_ and the rest of the team decided to head back to the Common Room.

My friends were waiting for me by the entrance to the castle, looking excited. I bade the rest of the team goodbye.

"Congratulations!" Lily said proudly, pulling me into a tight four person hug. "I knew you'd make it on the team."

"You flew really well," Mary added, when we broke apart. "You almost kept Marlene awake the whole time."

We all chuckled and Marlene frowned sheepishly. "What? I woke up for Doe's tryout didn't I? You expected me to watch all those other tossers fly around the pitch too?"

"Generally that's what happens at a tryout, Mare," Mary pointed out, as Marlene rested her head on her shoulder.

"Well thank you all for coming and watching. It meant a lot to me." I said happily. "Still up for sneaking down to the kitchens?"

"I _demand_ it," Marlene said, forcing us all to hook arms as we walked through the castle. "Lily promised me pudding if I didn't shout rude names at the other people trying out."

"You bribed her with frosting?" I asked, barely getting it out without chuckling. "Creative."

Lily flashed us a toothy smile. "I had too. She had managed to figure out that Dirk rhymed with Jerk."

"Oh no," I whispered.

"Oh, _yes_ ," Mary added, grinning with amusement.

Marlene looked proud. "You should have heard what I could have done with _McLaggen._ "

The four of us burst out into laughter and kept it up as we made out way through the castle and towards the kitchens.

We were just about to pass the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom when raised voices stopped us in our tracks. Standing in front of the stone bench, looking worried was Professor Sayre. She wasn't wearing her usual robes. Instead, she wore clean linen pants and a black button up shirt. She looked distressed, pacing back and forth as she argued with someone's calm voice. It was Professor Dumbledore.

Lily and Marene instantly stopped in their tracks and the four of us exchanged quick looks. Whatever conversation we had stumbled on was clearly supposed to be private.

"I'm telling you Albus. This was _personal._ I don't think this was a student. How could it be? It had to be someone who knew that would scare me. Clearly, someone knows about my family. And they're connection to-"

"- Believe me," Professor Dumbledore cut her off before she could say anymore, "As much as I hate to think it. There are a great many students in this school who knew more than you would believe. Whose allegiances don't always lie with Hogwarts. I don't think it's any reason to worry they know anything."

This didn't seem to calm Professor Sayre any. "If you say so, Albus. I still worry."

"I wouldn't expect any less from someone as wise as you, Ines."

The two of their voices stopped immediately as we approached quietly, their eyes darting to the four of us.

Professor Sayre still looked worried, but Professor Dumbledore offered us kind smiles.

"Ah, ladies," he said calmly, still smiling beneath his spectacles. "Enjoying your Saturday afternoon?"

I nodded. "Yes Professor." Mary and Lily joined me.

Lily, whose prefect badge seemed to be weighing on our conscious quickly added. 'I'm sorry Professors. We didn't mean to intrude."

"Yeah. We were just sneaking off to the kitchens," Marlene offered quickly, as the rest of us sighed. Sneaking off into the kitchens was supposed to be _sneaky._ Not something you told the Headmaster. Not that Marlene seemed worried about that.

Both Professor Dumbledore and Sayre smiled, making the the four of us relax slightly.

"In that case," Professor Dumbledore said, offering us a crinkly smile. "Might I suggest asking the elves if they have any sticky toffee pudding? It's one of the best."

We all giggled and finally Lily said. "We will, thank you Professor Dumbledore."

"Good afternoon Ladies. Enjoy your pudding."

The four of us smiled in greeting and then took off before we could admit anything else. We were still reeling from our good fortune when we noticed the Defense Against the Dark Arts door to our left.

Suddenly Professor Dumbledore and Sayre's conversation was starting to make more sense.

"Oh my god," Lily whispered horrified.

"Who would do _this?_ " Mary asked.

"I think I have an idea," I said evenly.

Marlene nodded in agreement. "Not very subtle is it?"

The defense against the Dark Arts Classroom door had been degraded. Burned black into the wood by magic was an unmistakable symbol. A large snake coming out out of a skull;

The Dark Mark.

The word sympathizer had been carved crudely underneath, and on the floor in front of it, Professor's Sayre's unite tapestry was shredded to ribbons.


	29. The Boggart and the Slide

**Authors Note: I would like to formally apologize for how long it took to update. I had some medical issues that basically overtook my life for a little while. Thankfully everything is fine now and I should be updating regularly. Thank you for being patient! Hope you enjoy!**

29

The Boggart and the Slide

"I don't know why you're letting this bother you so much," Mary said as the four of us trudged our way down to Hagrid's hut the next morning. "You know what the Slytherins are like. This isn't out of character for them at all. You saw how Narcissa treated Professor Sayre."

"Because it's _mad_ ," I said shaking my head in fury, trying to ignore the slight chill in the air. "Anyone who was in the room with Professor Sayre and the Slytherins know they had a problem with her. It's obvious they did it and Slughorn isn't going to do anything about it."

I had spent the better part of the previous night complaining over and over about what the Slytherins had done to Sayre's classroom, and it was clearly thinning my friends patience. But I couldn't help it, it was clear _exactly_ who had done it, and so far none of the Slytherins had so much as lost a point.

"What do you expect? It's _Slughorn_ ," Marlene said with a snort. "He's oblivious when it comes to the Slytherins."

Lily frowned. "It's true. As much as I like him, Slughorn let's the Slytherins get away with murder."

"Wish McGonagall would let us get away with murder," said Mary. "If anything, she's harder on us."

"She's definitely is," Marlene complained. "Did you know on Friday, she took five points from me for improper uniform because I forgot my socks?"

Mary snorted. "She took points because you only buttoned two of your shirt buttons, Marls."

" _and_ because you were flirting with Martin Boot during her entire lecture," I reminded her teasingly.

Marlene shook her head, looking unaffected. "Semantics."

"Where was I during all of this?" Lily asked, eyebrow raised.

"Trying to stop James Potter from summoning the quill out of your hand every time you tried to take notes," I said.

"Oh, _right_ ," Lily said, her face showing exactly how she felt about that memory.

The four of stopped in front of Hagrid's door and I reached out to rap on it quietly. Hagrid had sent me a note the morning before, inviting me and my friends over for Sunday breakfast, something that had overjoyed them. They all loved Hagrid as much as I did.

The door creaked open and Hagrid appeared, smiling jovially, and wearing an apron with matching oven mitts the size of trash can lids.

"Morning Hagrid!" I said happily, offering him a smile.

"Doe! Come in, come in," he croaked happily at the four of us, "Good ter see you all! Back up Fang, let em through."

Hagrid bent down to hold the massive puppy back as I padded into his house with my friends at my heels. The hut was brimming with the smell of freshly brewed tea and whatever he had baking in the oven.

A fire was burning too, making the room much warmer than it was outside, so I happily shrugged off my jacket.

"Getting cold out there innit?" Hagrid asked as we took our seats around his massive kitchen table, and he poured us each some tea.

I nodded eagerly. "Freezing, and it's still only September."

"I'm started to think I might need to bring in some of the creatures earlier this year," Hagrid said peering out the window. "A lot of them can't handle this cold."

"Like the bowtruckles, right?" I asked. "They don't do very well in the cold, do they?"

"Yer must have paid attention in Care of Magical Creatures," Hagrid chuckled softly, as I turned slightly pink with pride.

While we sat and sipped the tea, Hagrid headed to his stove and placed a pan full of warm, frittata on the table in front of us. From the look of it, it was filled with eggs and all kind of vegetables. Hagrid also unearthed a basket of muffins the size of grapefruits.

"That smells fantastic, Hagrid," I told him. "You didn't have to go through all this trouble, you know."

Hagrid waved me off. "Please. It's not every day I have you lot in my cabin. I wanted too."

"Thank you for letting us crash your breakfast with Doe," Lily told Hagrid as he sat down in the wooden chair in front of us. "It was very kind of you."

Hagrid gave a firm shake of his head, as we started to serve ourselves. "Don't yer even think on it. Glad ter have ya to be honest. All of yous are so nice. Really good girls."

"Most of us," I whispered quietly to Marlene, who swatted back at me playfully.

Hagrid smiled. "Not like that other sister of yours, Marlene. Which one was it that I was always chasing away from the forest with her camera?"

Marlene smiled mischievously. "Meredith. She was the troublemaker. Nearly gave my parents a heart attack with how many times Professor McGonagall had to right home."

"Right," Hagrid nodded. "She was a spirited girl. Where's she now?"

"She works for the Daily Prophet, as some kind of reporter," Marlene said, taking a big bite of her frittata. "By the way, this is excellent Hagrid."

"Glad yer like it. It was me dad's recipe," Hagrid said appreciatively and then turned to me, boasting a big smile. "How did yer Quidditch tryouts go, Doe?"

I beamed, feeling great. "Excellent, actually. I made the team! Even though I wasn't too sure about it at first."

"Well ther yer go. I can't wait ter watch ya fly in those games," Hagrid said, "I was so excited fer yeh, when Gideon told me you were tryin' out."

" _Gideon_ told you?" I asked quickly, knocking over my teacup with shock. Marlene chuckled as Lily whipped out her wand and evaporated the spilled tea.

Hagrid nodded. "Yeah. He was quick ter get out of here that day. Think he wanted to watch yer fly. He's got nuthin but good things ter say about, ya know," he smiled coyly, "seems to me he might have had his eye on ya. I told him you were a right good girl. Always kind to me in the summers and stop by to visit me whenever you can. Good with the animals too. He seemed to like that."

I felt my cheeks burn as I blushed, and my friends giggled beside me. For some reason, the idea of Hagrid and Gideon talking about me, made me extremely nervous.

"He's a good one," Hagrid continued, "He and his brother. I never have no trouble from them. And he's head boy and all."

"You don't have to sell her on the idea of Gideon," Marlene muttered under her breath looking amused. Lily let out a little giggle, and I blushed deeper.

I was starting to feel nervous about the four of them watching me, so I immediately brought up a conversation about Professor Dumbledore, and tried to ignore the excitement I felt in my chest at the thought of a certain red-haired Gryffindor….

* * *

The next two weeks passed by very quickly. The change to late September came with chillier temperatures and more work than ever before. I spent most of my time with my friends trying to tackle the massive amounts of homework we had been assigned and pursing my lips to try and master nonverbal spells. I always had a ton of Potions work to do because I was so miserable being partners with Severus that it was harder to focus than I usually did. Sirius and I had started our tradition of studying in the library again to cope with all of our work, and most days Remus would join us. He kept us on track while Sirius and I complained and tried to get off topic.

James was also on my case about practicing for Quidditch. Our first official team practice was coming up this week, and in order to prepare us, James had Tiberius and I flying chaser drills with him every other night. The three of us seemed to work well together, and James was thrilled at the idea of finally having symbiosis on the team.

"I have half a mind to tell Potter to cool it," Lily said, as the four of us left the Great Hall for Charms one morning. "You keep coming back to the dormitory completely exhausted, and you haven't even had a real team practice yet."

"It's not James fault," I told her, running my hands through my hair as we walked. "I want to be out there. I don't want to be the weakest link on the team, and anyway Professor McGonagall might actually _kill_ me if I don't well."

"But it's so much easier to blame _Potter_ ," Lily said happily as we rounded the corner, making both Marlene and Mary snort. "More fun too."

There was a massive pile-up of students in front of one of the giant staircases, and the four of us crowded behind it, unable to move towards the Charms classroom.

"What in Merlin's name is going on here?" Mary asked, careening on the tips of her toes to try and see over the crowd of people. They were all clustered together giggling and whispering in excited voices.

"I hope it's nothing bad," I said, shaking my head. "I can't handle any _more_ bad news. I'm too busy already."

"A galleon says that it's something Reggie Cattermole did," Marlene said with an eye roll. "Bet Peeves scared him and he fell off the stairs or something. Or got his wand stuck in the suit of armor like fourth year."

"What was he even trying to do then?" I asked, chuckling. "Jinx it to move?"

Marlene laughed. "Who knows? He probably needed a date for a Slug Club dinner or something."

There was a loud roar of laughter up ahead of the crowd that had nothing to do with what Marlene had said, and made it perfectly clear that whatever was going on over there wasn't bad at all.

"Come on," Lily said, urging the three of us forward and through the crowd. "Let's see what's going on over there."

We pushed our way through the crowd of people, which were mostly younger students, and stopped in the front of the room, our mouths hung open with shock. The giant staircase in front of us had looked completely normal for a second, until Xeno Lovegood had run head first towards it. The moment his foot had touched the first step, the staircase had transformed into a giant stone slide and he went sliding back to the ground as all of the onlookers laughed. Xeno, slightly pink-faced moved aside so Gilderoy Lockhart could try. But it was the same result. The moment anyone tried to climb the stairs, it turned to a slide again.

"Holy Hippogriff," Mary swore, unable to hide her delight. "Who did _this?_ "

"I only need one guess," I said nodding to the far wall. The four Marauders were leaning against the wall arms crossed and looked highly entertained. Any time another person went sliding to the ground they all laughed. "It's exactly something they would do, and I mean, it's _brilliant_ magic. The wand work alone." I shook my head, slightly amazed by it all and wondering how it was possible. "Though it is early in the year for a Marauder prank…"

"Of course it was them," Marlene said. "I wonder how they did it."

"It's simple," Lily insisted shaking her head. "Remus is brilliant. James and Sirius are reckless and hate rules, and Peter...well Peter's devoted. He's like their sidekick. He'd do anything that the other three asked. Especially if it was risky."

The three of us eyed her with a shared, confused expression.

"Did you just compliment _the Marauders_?" Mary demanded, one of her dark perfect eyebrows raised.

"No," Lily said quickly, _too_ quickly, "I just explained how they're able to do it. I don't think it was right."

"It's funny though," Mary said watching as Landon attempted to storm the stairs himself. "Merlin, what is _he_ thinking? I should probably go help him before he breaks his snitch-catching arm. Merlin, or his wand arm! _LANDON!._ "

Mary skipped forward to help Landon up as he went sliding to the floor like everyone else, and Fabian and Gideon moved forward, attempting to do it together.

As the two twins went crashing to the ground, I made my way over to the Marauders whose smiles had grown wider. Lily and Marlene followed me.

"What did you four _do?_ " I asked, stopping in front of Sirius. Sirius looked entertained, and James' face had filled with color the moment Lily had walked over.

"What _ever_ do you mean, Meadowes?" Sirius asked confidently. "We had nothing to do with this." He could barely get the words out, and the other three burst into laughter.

"Right," I snorted. "I suppose it's just a _coincidence_ that the one boy in sixth year with the most experience sneaking into girls dormitories _isn't_ responsible for the same charm that they use on our staircases?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You put that together, did you?"

"Do you four think you're _so_ clever that no one could ever figure out your plans?" I asked, slightly amused. "I mean look at how guilty Remus looks. You know he figured out the spell." I nodded at Remus, who wore an expression of regret and excitement.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Doe," Remus said quietly, with only about half the enthusiasm Sirius did. He still looked guilty.

Sirius grinned. "Oh, come on. It's brilliant. You can say it. Anyone who managed this is a _fantastic_ Wizard."

"And a modest one, clearly," I said, shaking my head.

"What about you, Evans?" James asked cheekily. "What do you think? Brilliant huh?"

Lily rolled her eyes and turned away from James. "I think it's rude, actually," she said confidently, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "All of these people are just trying to get to class and you've now made it more difficult, whether or not it's funny."

"So you _do_ think it's funny, then," James pressed, missing her point. Lily ignored him.

The crowd broke again and a tall, stern figure made there way to the staircase, parting crowds of students as easily if they were theren't there. It was Professor McGonagall and Lily instantly brightened up, clearly hoping that she would solve the situation.

Professor McGonagall watched on as Dirk Cresswell and Tiberius McLaggen both attempted the stairs at the same time and went sliding to the ground in front of her feet.

"Professor," Mary sputtered quickly, with Landon at her side. "Can you fix the stairs?"

Professor McGonagall sighed at the sight of it, as some first years tried too. 'Well surely _I_ can fix it, Ms. Macdonald," she said confidently, casting a particularly stern look at the Marauders as she did. "The question is whether or not I _should_."

"Wait, what?" Lily demanded looking immediately confused, as James let out a roaring laugh. Professor McGonagall stayed huddled around the nine of us, watching the staircase carefully. She was actually smiling, and it was strange to see her look so amused. I was sure she was going to be furious. I felt like I was missing some private joke.

"But Professor," I wondered aloud. "Why _wouldn't_ you want to fix it?"

Professor McGonagall's mouth upturned into a tiny smile, as she said "Well, Ms. Meadowes. It is quite the learning opportunity. See how you all fare using magic to solve your problems." She observed the staircase/slide for another second and then with a crack she turned into her animagus form, and the tiny, calico colored cat, trapsed up the stairs with no difficulty. Highly impressed, we all clapped and the cat swished its tail confidently as it disappeared around the corner.

"You heard her ladies," James said sliding his glasses back up onto his nose. "Time to use some creative _magical_ solutions to your problem."

"I have a great one," Lily said, clutching her bag tighter. "I'm going to take the stairs on the south side of the castle." She turned on her heels and left, while James stalked after her, wand out shouting "COME ON EVANS. YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY!"  
Sirius chuckled, turning back to Marlene, Mary and I. "What about you three? Got any tricks up your sleeve?"

"A bunch, actually," Marlene teased, "but nothing to do with the staircase."

Marlene straightened her spine and raised her wand, trying unsuccessfully to cast the ascendio charm, that only managed to make her rise a few feet into the air.

Mary attempted a floating lily-pad spell we had learned in Herbology that had almost worked but crumbled at the last second. Sirius and Peter heckled them both.

"Your turn Meadowes," Sirius said, egging me on. "Think you can figure it out?"

I pulled out my wand, "I could always summon _your_ broom, Sirius. I bet it would have no problem getting me up the stairs."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Way to ruin the fun, Meadowes."

"Fine then," I said carefully, steadying my wand. "You want me to solve the problem with magic?"

I steadied myself and cleared my mind, the way Professor Sayre had taught me to do non-verbal spells. I focused on the bridge-conjuring spell completely and flicked my wand.

Within seconds, a bridge had erupted across the slide, made of rope and rickety boards. I took a deep breath and grinned.

"Wow," Remus said softly, watching it with admiration.

"Did you just do that _non-verbally_?" Marlene demanded, her eyes wide as she watched it appear and some of the first years clapped happily. "Merlin, Doe."

"Professor Sayre helped me get the hang of it," I admitted. "Her defense class is amazing, Marls."

Mary, Marlene and I happily climbed the wooden bridge with the Marauders begrudgingly following.

We spent the better part of the morning Charms lesson talking about it with Professor Flitwick, who expressed his deep admiration of the staircase/slide charm, and then proceeded ahead with the lesson on defensive dueling charms.

"It was a brilliant bit of magic!" Professor Flitwick added quickly at the end of class as we all filed out of the room, "the slide and the bridge!"

It was hard to ignore the grin on either the Marauder's faces or mine.

When the lesson ended Mary, Lily and I made our way to the Defense classroom, while Marlene headed to the North Tower for Divination. When we got to Professor Sayre's room all of the desks were pushed away, meaning we had a practical lesson. I was thrilled, knowing how much I learned.

"I wish the Slytherins weren't in this class," I murmured angrily as entered Professor Sayre's classroom and noticed the cluster or emerald clad students huddled together. They looked haughty and miserable, probably because Professor Sayre's tapestry was fixed and hanging in it's usual spot. The door that had the Dark Mark had been changed the very next day.

"I know what you mean," Lily shuddered, looking at them all with disdain. "It's like they're always sitting there, waiting and _judging._ "

Professor Sayre had emerged from her office just as Lily had spoken and made her way to the three of us, her silk robes fluttering as she did.

"Good morning, ladies," she said in her strange, American accent, and crossed the room to the door. She waited until the last student had filed into the room and then closed the door with a resounding slam.

"So as you may have guessed," Professor Sayre said crossing the room quickly, her extra long wand drawn in her hand. "Today will be a practical lesson. As you know, we've been doing practice lessons on Boggarts, and today I have finally acquired one for you all to practice on."

There was a muffled whispering of excitement as Professor Sayre summoned a pristine purple trunk to the middle of the room.

"We've studied the incantation and the theory over and over again. You all know how to do this. You think of thing you fear the most and then you make it funny. So, form a line. One even one in the center of the room. _No pushing!_ Everyone's going to get a turn."

"Boggarts terrify me," Lily whispered as the three of us clambered between the Marauders and Kyla Davies in line. "Who wants to see what they fear most?"

"I think I already do," Mary said morosely, looking behind her where Mulciber, Narcissa, and Elizabeth were whispering something quickly to each other.

I offered Mary a comforting shoulder squeeze and tried to focus on the practical lesson ahead of us. While I didn't know exactly what shape or form the boggart was going to take, I had a pretty good idea, and I had no idea how to make Aubleus funny. There was nothing funny about him.

I was starting to get nervous as I waited, clutching my wand in a clammy hand. Everyone else had very straightforward fears, like the giant snake that Caradoc feared or the vampire that sent Gwenog Jones into hysterics.

Amelia had shrieked more loudly than I'd ever heard her before when she faced the boggart and it turned into a fully grown alligator.

It wasn't until Peter strode up to the boggart, that things started to get interesting. It was a cloaked person towering over him shrieking something unintelligible. He was so terrified, he practically fled from the room. Remus saw a pearly white orb. James saw three dead Marauders.

 _Crack!_

The boggart immediately changed the moment Sirius stepped in front of it, and a hush fell over the room. At first it was unclear what was happening. It looked like Sirius was standing in front of a mirror. The boggart's shape had changed to look like Sirius' twin. They were exactly the same, except that Boggart-Sirius was wearing Slytherin robes instead of Gryffindor ones, and looked decidedly more haughty.

Everyone else didn't really understand what was going on, what exactly it was that the he feared most, but I did. What Sirius feared more than anything else was being like his family, a bigoted, Slytherin elitist.

"Riddikulus!" Sirius said and pointed his wand at the boggart, it shivered for a second and then Boggart-Sirius was replaced by Slughorn in Slytherin robes, stumbling around drunk. Everyone in line laughed as Mary moved forward and saw a masked Death Eater, which she managed to turn into a circus clown. Lily turned her hag into a large rag doll.

By the time I walked to the front of the room, I was shaking. I knew exactly what I would see when I stepped in front of the boggart and I was dreading it.

I had barely been standing there for thirty seconds when the boggart immediately changed and Aubelus appeared, fully formed in front of me. I'd never seen Aubleus in the flesh before. In _any_ form. At least not that I could remember, and now here he was, pacing before me.

There was a collective gasp among the group as my fellow students started to realize what I was seeing. What I was _afraid_ of.

For a few seconds I didn't know what to do. The wand in my hand felt useless. It didn't seem to matter how much magic I knew, I felt completely powerless. I was staring into the eyes of my parents murderer. Even if he wasn't _really_ there.

My mouth felt extremely dry, like I couldn't speak. Boggart-Aubleus circled me as my mouth popped open and I searched for the incantation.

I tried not tear up as Boggart-Aubleus sneered at me, looking exactly as terrifying as he did in pictures. He just kept getting closer, like he was going to strike. My bone's felt frozen and heavy, keeping me stuck in place.

I knew too much time was passing. Professor Sayre kept inching closer, her wand drawn, ready to take over if it became too difficult for me. I readied my wand, and tried to focus. This wasn't Aubleus. This was a _boggart,_ and a boggart I could handle.

" _Riddikulus!_ " I cried, forgoing the non-verbal spell. There was a loud crack and Boggart-Aubleus changed immediately to Celestina Warbeck, his blonde hair growing longer and longer, until he was completely decked out in costume and singing _A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love._

There was a chorus of laughter as I moved to the back of the room with Lily and Mary, still completely shaken up by what I had just seen.

Lily reached out to hold my arm, her wide eyes full of concern. "Was that your Uncle?"

I nodded. "That's Aubleus." Saying his name burned like firewhiskey, and I gave a tiny shudder.

"He doesn't look like the picture in the prophet," Mary whispered quietly, "He's even scarier in person."

She was right. Boggart-Aubleus was worse than the pictures, and something told me that that was exactly how he really was in person. This was the person my mother grew up with. The person who _killed_ them.

"He _is_ scary," I whispered. "He's a murderer, Mary"

There was a chill rolling down my spine now. The familiar one that always came when I had to think about Aubleus or why my parents were dead. The grief, anger, and pity that all pounded inside of my chest. My friends seemed to sense this, and Lily pulled me into a silent one armed hug.

I wasn't the only one who seemed to be shaken up by the lesson. Half the class was white-faced and nervous, standing on their own in the corner. Even the braver people, like Sirius and James looked a bit put off. Sirius kept nervously picking at his nails.

"Did the _big bad boggart_ scare you, Meadowes?" Elizabeth cooed maliciously as she and Narcissa appeared at our sides. The two of them were both staring at me like whatever I had faced just then had made them happy.

"Go away, Elizabeth," I snapped, keeping my wand in my hand, "no one is in the mood to deal with you today."

"With _me?_ " Elizabeth demanded, a cruel smile stretching across her even teeth. "I'm not the one who practically burst into _tears_ in front of our whole Defense classroom. Honestly, Meadowes. How pathetic can you get?"

"And what is it exactly that you're afraid of?" Narcissa pressed. " _Purebloods?_ "

They had some nerve, coming over here and trying to start a fight after what I had just seen. A hate filled rage was already pulsing through my blood at the sigh of Aubleus, and it would feel so sweet to take it out on the two of them.

"At least _I_ faced the boggart," I said, my tone sharp as a blade. "Unlike you two, cowering in the back. I may be afraid of a murderer, but at least I can face what I'm afraid of."

The two of them were stood at the very back of the line, purposely avoiding the practical. Whether it was out of fear or an unwillingness to participate in Professor Sayre's lesson, I didn't know.

Narcissa's upper lip curled. "Watch your tone, Meadowes,"

"Unless you'd like to go the same way your mum and dad did," Elizabeth threatened, baring her teeth. "Those two were even more pathetic than you are."

That was all it took to set me off. One flick of my wand and a loud bang erupted into the room as my pimple jinx found its mark on Elizabeth. Her face erupted into giant purple boils and she began to yell.

"You filthy little half-blood!" she shrieked, " _Miserable blood-traitor._ You're going to pay for that!"

She yanked her abnormally long wand out of her pocket and pointed it at me, ready to fire, when Professor Sayre strode forward.

"What do you think you're doing Ms. Burke?" she demanded, standing between the two of us. I noticed now that none of the other students were participating in the lesson anymore. Everyone was watching Elizabeth and I. Damocles Belby's troll-shaped boggart was hovering in the background ignored.

"Doe attacked Elizabeth!" Narcissa said firmly, dragging Elizabeth's boil-filled face over to her. She looked very torn. Probably because Narcissa wanted nothing more than to rat me out, but her hatred of Professor Sayre was making it too hard.

"Technically, I _jinxed_ her," I clarified, before Narcissa could say anything else. People had started to notice Elizabeth's face now and we chuckling and Elizabeth shrieked again.

"And only because Elizabeth threatened her!" Lily added beside me. "And insulted her parents!"

Professor Sayre looked momentarily conflicted. She stared back and forth between Elizabeth and I, with her her eyebrows pulled together in thought.

"Detention," she decided evenly. "For both of you. Thursday night, in my office. Eight o'clock. I don't condone jinxing in my class, and I _certainly_ don't condone threats or petty, bigoted insults." She flashed Elizabeth a scathing look that made me glad it wasn't me.

Not that I had it much better. I was furious that I had slipped up in front of a teacher and earned myself a detention. Especially with Professor Sayre. I admired her. I didn't want her to think poorly of me. Especially not because of something foul Elizabeth Burke had said.

"As for the rest of you, let's call it a day. We can practice some more next class," Professor Sayre said with a sigh.

The rest of us moved to grab our things. It was hard for me to hide my disappointment and embarrassment. Especially considering how the rest of the class was still buzzing from the 'amazing lesson'.

"I can't _believe_ that I did that," I sighed, pocketing my wand. "How could I have been so stupid? Professor Sayre probably thinks I'm just as bad as Elizabeth."

"It isn't your fault," Mary said quickly. "I know how Elizabeth can be. And those things she said were foul. She deserved to be jinxed."

"I still shouldn't have done it," I said, my wand feeling suddenly very heavy in my pocket. "It makes me as bad as her."

"Not even close," Lily told me confidently.

Narcissa had already yanked Elizabeth from the room, her boils bursting as they did, and I was glad I was able to avoid them.

"Ms. Meadowes," Professor Sayre called from her desk. "Could you stay after a moment?"

I knew this wouldn't be good. Professor Sayre didn't know me as well as the other teachers. She didn't know that hexing people in class was out of character for me.

My friends offered me a comforting smile, and then left the room. Still nervous and a little embarrassed I made my way over her desk. Professor Sayre waited until the room was empty before she spoke.

"I'm sorry that I had to give you that detention, Ms. Meadowes," she said carefully. "I didn't want too, but I didn't want to blatantly play favorites in front of the other student either."

I blinked a little confused, and Professor Sayre smiled. "You look confused."

I shifted uncomfortably, trying not to show how weary I was. "To be perfectly honest, I am, Professor," I said, "I jinxed Elizabeth. Why wouldn't' you want to give me the detention?"

Professor Sayre smiled, weighing her wand in her hand carefully. "Because it sounded to me like she deserved it. Threatening you and insulting you're family. Especially after what you had just seen with the boggart. It was a special kind of cruel, and so under circumstances like that, it's hard to want to punish someone for a pimple jinx."

"Really? That's such a relief." It was hard to hide my joy. Professor Sayre wasn't angry with me or even disappointed. She knew exactly what Elizabeth was. It made me like her even more.

Professor Sayre tucked a piece of her dark hair behind her ear and nodded. "Of course. And I am sorry about the detention. I promise it won't be anything terrible. I can't even imagine what today must have been like for you."

"I didn't know that you knew about Aubleus," I said sheepishly, realizing that I should have. It _had_ been in the prophet. I hated that people knew such intimate details about my families tragedy.

Professor Sayre offered me a kind smile. "Professor McGonagall told me. If I had known what the boggart was going to turn into I never would have had you participate.." She let out a little involuntary shudder.

"I wouldn't have wanted to sit it out anyway," I told her quickly. "Not a lesson like that. It's too important to skip. Even if I didn't want to face him"

Professor Sayre lifted one of her eyebrows, her interest peaked. "Really? Do you like defense quite a bit then?"

"I like it about as much as I like food and air," I joked eagerly. "I actually want to be an auror."

"An auror?" Professor Sayre asked curiously, her eyes flickering. "That's fascinating. You should read _Secrets of the Darkest Art._ It's really interesting to read from the other side's perspective. A great way to catch Dark Wizards is to know how they think." The corners of Professor's Sayre's mouth upturned slightly, as if she were trying her best to hide a smirk.

"Isn't that in the Restricted Section, Professor?" I asked, knowing very well it was. I had peered over that velvet rope in library, reading the spines of those fascinating books enough times to know for a fact that anything that interesting was bound to be in there. But you needed permission to check out those books, and so far in five years of magical education at Hogwarts, I had never been able to come up with a good enough reason to ask for permission.

Professor Sayre gave a quick nod. "Of course. I forgot you have one of those in your library. We don't have any restricted books in Ilvermorny. I happen to think restricted information from pupils makes them more desperate for it, but who am I to say?" Her eyebrows raised curiously for a moment. "I'm sure Professor Dumbledore has his reasons."

She offered me a smile. "But I sincerely doubt he would have any problem with me giving _you_ a pass," A quill small scroll had appeared in her hand and she hastily scribbled something on it. It took me a second to understand what she was doing, and just managed to hold out my hand as she dropped the slip into my open hand.

My eyes were wide as they raked across the page. She had given me permission to check out any book I wanted from the Restricted Section. An unlimited pass. The only other person I had known to give this out was Slughorn, and only to his most prized students, like Lily or Snape. I never even thought McGonagall would give me one of these. Not unless it was Quidditch on the line. I was sure that the smile on my face was wide it was almost terrifying. "Thank you, Professor," I said earnestly. "I'll use it well."

"I hope you do," Professor Sayre said thoughtfully, plopping herself down in her velvet desk chair. "I'll see you Thursday. Sorry again about the detention, but I suppose it will give us a chance to discuss whatever you find in the library."

"Yeah, thanks again" I told her as I left the classroom, still smiling and clutching the pass like it was a golden snitch. Professor Sayre nodded appreciatively and turned to a black scroll sitting on her desk.

I was practically skipping with excitement as I left the defense classroom, still amazed at my luck. My friends were waiting for me dutifully outside, exchanging quick looks of surprise. Marlene was there too, having met up with the others.

"You look awfully pleased for someone who just got a detention," Marlene pointed out astutely, her perfect eyebrow arching as I jumped eagerly in place. The others must have already filled her in with what had happened with Narcissa.

"We thought we were going to have to console you," Lily joked, shaking her mass of red hair as she chuckled,. "Seems silly now doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Mary said in disbelief. "Sayre didn't give you a hard time at all?"

I shook my head, beaming. "Nope. The opposite actually. She _apologized_ for it, and then gave me this," I said, thrusting the permission slip at her with excitement.

Mary's eyes widened as she read the piece of parchment and then passed it around for the others to see.

"And Sayre just gave that to you?" Lily chortled, shifting the massive stack of Potions books in her arms. "No questions asked?"

I shook my head, still continuing to bounce with elation as the four of us made our way down the corridor. "She's absolutely brilliant," I recounted as we walked, "I swear she's already the best defense teacher we've ever had."

I silently hoped Professor Sayre would love the castle so much she wouldn't want to go back to Ilvermorny. She was the perfect defense teacher, and after all of the disjointed lessons we'd had from all those different professors, she was an absolute treat.

"I wish the Slytherins would stop messing with her. Then maybe she'd stay permanently," Lily said, thinking along the same lines as me.

"Why do they always have to ruin everything?" I demanded, climbing the familiar stairs to the Common Room.

"It's in their nature," Mary sighed, her upper lip twitching as she spoke. "It's like that old fable about the Scorpion and the frog." Her eyes seemed to glaze over as she thought about it. No one disliked the Slytherins as much as Mary did.

"Does that make us the frog?" I groaned. "I don't really want to die in the end, Mare. Especially not at _their_ hands."

"I always hated that story," said Lily, shuddering slightly. "Petunia loved it though."

I let out a dark chuckle. "She would. I bet she laughed when Bambi's mom died too."

Both Mary and Lily laughed, and Marlene raised her eyebrow in confusion. The way she often did when we talked about muggle things.

"What are you three going on about?" she demanded, stopping in the middle of the stairs, with her hands on her hips. "What happened with the frog? And who in Bathilda Bagshot's name is _Bambi?_ "

Lily smiled brightly, tossing an arm over her shoulder and explaining both to her as the four of us skipped back to the Gryffindor Common Room, not realizing that we _were_ in fact, the frog who placed our trust in the wrong scorpion.

* * *

"Honestly!" James shouted loudly a few nights later, hovering menacingly in the air on his broom. "What do I have to do to get you all to focus? You're flying like a bunch of Hufflepuffs out there!"

My eyes narrowed in his direction as I stopped the lap I was doing around the pitch with Tiberius to make our way back to the now frantic James. It was our first team practice of the season and after almost three hours of flying everyone was growing very tired. Everyone except James. He seemed to have endless bouts of energy. I doubted he would ever leave the pitch unless someone made him.

I, meanwhile, was loving every second of the practice. There was something so freeing about being out on the pitch and losing yourself in the game. The moment I had that quaffle in that my arms, everything else going on easily melted away. It was a better stress reliever than anything else I'd ever tried. It also didn't hurt that the rest of the team had welcomed Tiberius and I with open arms. By the first ten minutes of practice, Hestia had slung her arms over our shoulders and taught us all of the clever nicknames they had for the other teams. The only downside to the entire evening was getting used to being smacked repeatedly by the bludgers. Tiberius and I were the most inexperienced at dodging them and were starting to feel exactly how much damage on of them could do.

"I find that comment deeply offensive," Hestia told James, circling his broom at a speed barely visible by the human eye. "My first boyfriend was a Hufflepuff."

"Come on Jones, fess up you've dated _loads_ of Hufflepuffs, haven't you?" Sirius asked cheekily, having to dart immediately down to avoid the Quaffle she tossed in his direction.

"That's rich coming from you of all people," Hestia pointed out easily. "How many Hufflepuffs have _you_ bedded, Black?" She could barely get the words out without chuckling.

Sirius flashed her a mischievous grin. "Let's put it this way, I could tell you exactly what the Hufflepuff dormitories look like in vivid detail."

Fabian and Landon both let out an appreciative whistle, as Hestia and I exchanged a look of annoyance.

"You're a legend, Black" Tiberius said appreciatively.

Sirius grinned, throwing his arms behind his head confidently.

"You lot are foul," Hestia said shaking her head so that her fringe blew quickly in the wind. "Absolutely foul."

"Honestly, mate," Fabian said, gripping his broom with interest as he blatantly ignored Hestia's words.. "How many girls in this castle _have_ you been with?"

Hestia groaned in irritation, flashing me a look that suggested she wanted to knock Fabian off his broom for encouraging Sirius' behavior.

"A fair few," Sirius said smugly, to the absolute delight and awe of Tiberius, Fabian and Landon.

Landon nodded in admiration. "Bloody hell."

"Oh please don't ask him to list them out," I begged desperately, trying to hide my ghost of a smile, "not unless we want to be here for _another_ three hours."

Both Fabian and Landon sniggered quietly, and Hestia flashed me a wide smile. Sirius looked amused as he lazily kicked his feet up onto the broom.

"You see why I was so glad to finally have another girl on the team?" Hestia said happily as she lined her broom up with mine.

" _This_ is exactly what I mean," James said with a defeated sigh, as he approached the rest of us. "You're all playing around! And we've got our first match in just a few weeks! Do you all want to be demolished by Slytherin?"

The rest of the team and I exchanged a quick look. We'd been on the pitch for hours, and up until now we had been working very diligently, running drills, trying out new plays and anything else James wanted.

"Don't be a dictator James," Hestia reminded him. "Or I'll smack you with Fabians bat." She was swinging it playfully near James head and it made him instantly perk up.

"We're all just blowing off a bit of steam, Prongs." Sirius said quickly, clapping his mate on the shoulder to reassure him."We're working hard too."

"I have the bruises to prove it," I added quickly.

Landon gave James an appreciative nod. "Everyone here fully plans on bringing their A game to the match alright?"

"We better," James said, looking much more relieved than he had moments ago. "McGonagall is all over me about having the best possible team we can this year. If we lose again, I swear she'll kick every one of us into Hufflepuff."

There was a collective chuckle among the team and James brightened even more. "Alright troops, let's call it a night. Go get something to eat and snog your pillows."

The entire team looked immensely grateful and dropped to the ground, heading towards the changing rooms. Even though I was exhausted and sweaty, it was hard to hide the joy I felt at flying.

"I see your still absolutely _furious_ about having to try out for the team," Sirius said sarcastically, observing how happy I looked.

I rolled my eyes at him, and the look of righteousness he managed to flash me.

"Just because this happened to work out okay this time doesn't mean you did the right thing," I reminded him. "You can't just meddle into people's lives because you want too.

Sirius rolled his eyes goodnaturedly and slung an arm over my shoulder. "Honestly Meadowes, haven't you learned by now that I do whatever I want, and it always works out?"

"Whatever you say Sirius," I chuckled, vaguely aware of Hestia and Fabian watching the two of us out of the corner of my eye.

After everyone had changed and dressed, we headed back up the castle to catch the end of dinner. It was still early enough that their were still students filing in and out of the corridors. The rest of the team and I glided through the halls talking over the things we needed to work on for the next practice and listening to Hestia question the ability of the Ravenclaw's keeper. It was fun to be a part of the team, like being in an even closer-knit family inside of Gryffindor House.

When we got to the Great Hall, we parted ways and I made my way for the library.

"You're not eating?" Sirius asked as he and James watched me head in the opposite direction. "Don't tell me you've started that insipid diet that McKinnon is on."

I chuckled thinking of breakfast where Marlene had immediately decided to forgo anything that wasn't fruit or steamed vegetables. The rest of us hoped it was simply a phase and she'd drop it soon enough. There was no way any of us would join her in it. We spent our time trying to talk her out of it.

"Hardly," I said, thinking of the grumbling in my stomach. "Lily's bringing me a plate. I have to run the library first. Frank Longbottom is helping me study for a Herbology test."

The idea of skipping dinner to study for Herbology, of all things, was depressing, but I was damned if I was going to let another vicious plant try to rip my hair out in class tomorrow. I'd already had to stun one the class before.

"You're skipping dinner for studying?" Sirius asked, shaking his head. "How are we friends?"

James raised an eyebrow. "Longbottom? Why not ask Remus? He's good at Herbology. I bet he'd help you after dinner if you asked."

I frowned slightly. Asking Remus had occurred to me, but I'd ultimately decided against it. "Because I've waited until the last minute and I don't like that disappointed look he gives me," I admitted honestly. Both James and Sirius burst into loud honest laughter.

"Now _that_ makes more sense," Sirius agreed, still laughing. "Can't blame you for avoiding the prefects."

James nodded vigorously. "Think i'd rather be covered in stink sap than get one of _those_ looks from Moony." They both shuddered, fully understanding why I passed.

I grinned. "See you both in the Common Room then," I told them and turned heading for the library. I was still in a great mood from practice and looking forward to spending the evening lounging with my friends by the fire. The castle was sort of quiet now with most of the students still up at dinner.

The tutoring went quickly. Frank was a genius at Herbology and helped me go over most of it in less than both decided to duck out early, so Frank could meet Alice for a late night walk and I could head back to my friends.

By now the castle was even quieter than it had been before. It was only a few minutes to curfew, and I walked, Mrs. Norris circled in anticipation, almost following me the whole way. It was everything I could do not to shove her onto one of the moving staircases and run for it. I loved cats, but there was something truly miserable about _this_ one.

I had rounded a corner quickly, trying to get away from the furry little git when I stopped quickly. Coming out of an empty classroom, was Rabastan.

He didn't look anything like he normally did. As infuriating and vile as I found him, there was no denying that Rabastan was well-kept. He was aware of his handsomeness, and did his best to emphasize it. He thought he was royalty. I'd never seen him without his hair perfectly styled or in clothes that weren't perfectly pressed. His demeanor was always calm and collected, even when he was threatening someone or saying something disgusting. That's what made Rabastan so infuriating. He was very calculated.

That Rabastan was unrecognizable now. He stomped out of the empty classroom, his normally even face riddled with fury. His bright green eyes were black and lifeless. His hair was messy and his tie hung loose and disheveled. He looked frantic. And furious. It was chilling.

He didn't look around as he stormed down the corridor. He turned to the suit of armor next to him and began kicking it with such fury it went crashing to the ground. He continued to kick it angrily, grunting as he did.

I immediately cowered behind the stone corner, reaching into my pocket for my wand. Running into Rabastan alone was terrifying on a normal basis. Running into him like this was enough to make my blood run cold.

"Merlin, Lestrange what are you doing?" Antonin Dolohov asked, filing out of the room much slower and less furiously than Rabastan had.

"Never you mind," Rabastan hissed through clenched teeth. "How I choose to deal with what we just heard is _my_ business." I'd never heard his voice so cold and angry. It made me shiver.

Antonin looked unconcerned with Rabastan's rage. "You and I both know that this job he assigned us was going to be difficult."

"Not _this_ difficult," Rabastan snarled. "You and I both know there's an easier solution."

Antonin scoffed, his face turning as red as his hair. "What are we supposed to do? Walk into the great hall and use the killing curse? Be reasonable, Lestrange. We need to be _creative._ "

I felt an immediate shudder run through my body at the idea of either of them using the killing curse. Especially after what they had said about wanting to join the Death Eaters. Whoever it was they were talking about, was clearly in danger. I raked my mind trying to think of who Rabastan could hate that much. Or who would have ordered him to do it. Surely, it couldn't be Him could it? I felt a cold stab of fear at the thought of Rabastan taking orders from You-Know-Who himself. The idea of living amongst Death Eaters was enough to make me never sleep again.

"Creative?" Rabastan let out a dark laugh that rang through the corridor like a chilling bell. "We need to take action. Or does _this_ mean nothing to you, Antonin?" Rabastan roughly grabbed at the sleeve of his dress shirt yanking it up to expose his left arm.

I was too far away to see what he was showing Dolohov, but whatever it was made Antonin stiffen quickly.

"You know what it means to me, Rabastan" Antonin hissed quietly. "All I am saying is that the deed will be done with time. We cannot afford to be impatient. It needs to be done right."

Rabastan seemed to calm slightly, straightening his shirt collar and giving his house mate a curt nod. "You're right. I was being... _hasty."_

Rabastan stared off into space for a minute, his eyes lightening as his rage seemed to dissipate. After a few more seconds, his face was back to his usual, cold mask. My head was ringing with what I had just heard, trying desperately to squash down the fear that had lodged in my throat. Rabastan could be taking orders from You-Know-Who. Orders to kill. Someone in the castle was in danger. Real danger.

"Let's go find something fun to do," he told Antonin smoothly, his fingers absentmindedly tracing his right arm. "I could use a distraction."

Antonin's mouth curled into a terrifying smile, and I turned on my heels, running towards the Gryffindor Common Room before _I_ became the distraction.


	30. Lestrange-r Things Have Happened

**AUTHORS NOTE: I know I suck at updating, I'm trying to get better. I've made a schedule. I love this story and am not giving up on it. Thank you for your patience, and enjoy the story. Also, please review, they're very motivating :)**

30

Lestrange-r Things Have Happened

"Fucking Lestrange," Marlene shouted very accurately the next morning as the four of us headed towards the Great Hall. Her voice had risen so much that it had begun to get that shaky quality that she reserved for when she was truly furious.

Several surprised first years looked on with interest as they passed, giggling with joy at their fortune of overhearing a sixth year say something so salacious, but Marlene didn't care, she was too furious. I had just finished telling the three of them what I'd overheard Rabastan say the night before, and was glad that they found it just as chilling as I did. They had been asleep when I got back to the dormitory last night. Only Sirius had been awake and willing to listen, and he didn't seem to be nearly as terrified about the situation as I was when I had told him.

"He's vile," I said shaking off the chill that seemed to be lingering on my body. "You should have heard the way he talked about it. He was enraged. Imagine being mad that you can't just walk into a room and _murder_ someone."

Lily physically recoiled from my words and Mary turned pale. Marlene was too infuriated to look scared, if anything she was walking with more gusto. Her rage at what Rabastan had said seemed to be motivating her. It was easy for Marlene to get upset with the Death Eaters. As a wealthy pureblood witch, she had much less to fear that the others.

"What a prat," she hissed, swinging her arms as she walked. "I have a hard time believing that _he_ was assigned anything that could be that important."

I knew what she meant. It was much more comforting to believe that someone who sat two tables away from us at breakfast could never be given the task of killing someone else. I wanted to believe that, but I couldn't. I had _seen_ him. I saw the anger and fear in his eyes. I didn't get the impression he was lying. Especially not after remembering the chill that lingered on my spine when I had seen Voldemort the year before.

"I don't know," I whispered firmly, my mind considering the obvious possibility. "His brother is already a Death Eater. His family is known for being the worst of our kind. Do you really think he'd want to sit out and do nothing?"

"But why would You-Know-Who trust him?" Marlene asked, staring forward. "I mean he's what _Seventeen?_ Doesn't he have followers who are of age, and out of Hogwarts? What would he want with a kid?" She was firm now. I didn't know if it was what she truly believed or the alternative was too terrifying for her to imagine, but Marlene didn't want to be talked out of it.

I shrugged, not wanting to cause a fight. "I don't know, Marls, but I'm telling you, I don't think he was lying. He had no reason too."

"Maybe he was trying to impress Antonin."

"I doubt it. Antonin seemed to be in on whatever it was."

Marlene let out a defeated sigh and began to chew on her lip, mulling the whole thing over. Mary stayed noticeably silent, clutching her Transfiguration textbook so hard her knuckles turned white.

Lily had a forlorn look on her face the entire conversation, but now her eyes began to move quickly, like she was thinking the whole thing over.. "I mean there's one obvious advantage to using Rabastan," she said quietly, her eyes widened to resemble lily pads.

"And what's that?" Marlene asked, spinning on her heels to face her properly. She almost barreled straight into a couple of third year Slytherins who weren't paying attention, and gave her looks of loathing as they passed.

"Well, he's still at Hogwarts," Lily pointed out, as if the idea should be obvious. "Which means he's able to get inside these walls, even with all of Dumbledore's precautions and enchantments. If …. _Voldemort_ " she choked on the word, and Mary shuddered again. It took her a second to steady herself, and then her voice became very confident. " If Voldemort wants something done in the castle then using a student is the perfect way to get it done," she finished strongly.

It made complete sense. It was the only way to do bidding inside Hogwarts completely undetected.

"But what could he want done, here?" Marlene asked, still unconvinced."Why Hogwarts?"

Suddenly something seemed to click inside my brain, and a new kind of fear spread through my body.

"Voldemort wants someone dead," I said quickly, as a horrible taste flooded my mouth. "He wants someone _here_ dead and that's why he's having a student do it."

Thankfully, there was no one near us in the corridor to overhear what we were saying, or to see the look of absolute terror that was etched into each of our faces. Mary bit her lip and let out a noise something like a whimper. Lily instantly reached out to comfort her. Her eyes locked on mine in a way that she thought I might be right.

"Who do you think it is he wants dead?" Marlene asked nervously. All of her hesitation from a moment ago seemed to have slipped away to be replaced by fear. "Not Dumbledore?"

Lily shook her head, still holding Mary's hand in hers. "There's no way. Even Voldemort is scared of Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore is powerful," I agreed. "Way too powerful for _Rabastan_ to take on."

Marlene let out a very deep sigh. "I don't know. It still sounds a little wrong to me. Don't get me wrong, I think Rabastan is the biggest piece of scum I know, but a murderer? No way. And who is stupid enough to murder someone right under Dumbledore's nose? You really think they'd even try that?"

"They attacked me right under Dumbledore's nose" Mary reminded her softly, speaking up for the first time in this conversation. Her words were so soft I barely heard them, but her eyes were lit with the fury of the memory of her attack.

Now Marlene looked a little guilty. It was hard to argue with ironclad proof like that. Her amber eye's flitted unconsciously to Mary's wrists and she shuddered.

"You're right" Marlene said firmly. "It's naive to think they won't try something. You have to tell Dumbledore, Doe."

We had just entered the Great Hall and the chatter of our fellow students drowned out the sound of our conversation for a moment, giving me long enough to consider the possibility of telling Professor Dumbledore everything I had overheard. Going to Dumbledore's office was not something I particularly enjoyed doing. Every time I ended up in there, it was usually because of something horrible. My parents death. My screaming match with Dolohov in the Great Hall. I'd even realized I'd seen Voldemort in that office. Not that any of that was Professor Dumbledore's fault. I liked Professor Dumbledore. It was just his office that seemed to carry the dark omens. But I'd have to get over it. The safety of the people inside this castle was more important. On the rare chance that I was right about what I had overheard, someone could die if I did nothing.

"I suppose I'll have to go tonight then," I said, feeling the familiar wave of nerves wash over me as I plopped down at the House Table. "I can't just sit on this. Professor Dumbledore needs to know."

I picked at the sausage roll in front of me, reminding myself of the importance of it all and talking myself out of the dread.

Lily offered me a soft reassuring smile. "I could go with you. There's no reason you have to go alone."

"Would you?" I asked hopefully. "I hate going by myself."

"Of course!" Lily said brightly, serving herself a happy portion of eggs. "I like going into Professor Dumbledore's office. We could go before the Prefect patrols tonight. Professor McGonagall told me Dumbledore's always there in case we spot something while we patrol."

"Sounds like a plan to me," I said joyfully, grateful that I wouldn't have to go there alone after all. If Lily came with me, the whole thing would be a hundred times less dreadful.

"He really is a prat," Marlene said, angrily stabbing her breakfast with her fork. I noticed she was looking past Lily and I's shoulders to the Slytherin table where Rabastan sat confidently, telling an animated story to a group of Slytherins. A shiver ran down my spine when he stopped long enough to wink at me. The corners of his mouth turning up into a smile. It made me turn quickly around in my seat.

"Let's talk about something more cheerful," I suggested, shaking off the lingering disgust I felt at the sight of him. "Have you started your entry for the Potions competition this year, Lily?"

As one of his absolute favorite pupils and one of the best potions brewers in the year, Slughorn always made Lily enter the yearly Potions brewing competition. She'd always come very close and was determined this year to beat out the Beauxbatons champion for the 100 Galleons prize.

"Not yet," Lily said eagerly, her smile stretching wide. "But I do have some ideas for it. I think Amortentia would be wicked fun to try. Professor Slughorn told me we're going to be covering it this year but it's really complicated."

I grinned. "Anything having to do with love usually is."

My friends giggled quietly and Marlene fluttered her eyelashes while Mary made pink heart shaped bubbles erupt from her wand.

"When you master it, I want three vials for myself," Marlene told her firmly, biting into a strawberry with a confidence that none of us could ever master.

"Like you would ever need it," I reminded her, fluffing her perfect hair. Marlene winked happily, and pat the top of my head.

"Merlin Marlene, you wouldn't really use a love potion would you?" Mary asked, looking concerned. "I know it's supposed to be harmless and all, but I can't help but think it's wrong."

"Says the girl whose boyfriend is absolutely in love with her," Lily pointed out softly, gesturing down the table where Landon was talking to Otto Bagman, and watching Mary out of the corner of his eye.

Mary blushed and blew him a kiss, which Landon returned and made Marlene wretch.

" _Still_ though," Mary pressed, going back to our conversation "Don't you think it's a bit like using the Imperius curse on someone? A love potion makes them do things they would never normally do."

Mary's words made me think a bit. Everyone had always thought love potions were a laugh. They were comical. Not something that could be considered as terrifying as the Imperius curse. The idea of the imperius curse had always sent chills up my spine. There was nothing worse than giving someone the ability to make you do anything they wanted. That was the ministry's biggest concern with the Death Eaters. I shuddered thinking what could happen if people like Rabastan had access to it. In comparison, love potions seemed so innocent. But were they?

"Well _I_ wouldn't use it," Marlene boasted proudly, a glow dancing across her skin as she smirked. "I like getting dates all on my own, but I bet Pettigrew would pay me at least ten galleons for it. He needs it more than anyone. Or Dearborn, Cattermole, Lovegood. I'd have a bunch of customers."

"It's all fun and games until Caradoc uses it on _you_ ," I laughed warningly, taking a small bite of my breakfast. "Be careful what you put in your pumpkin juice."

Marlene looked down at the goblet in her hand with horror and the other three of us laughed in unison as she placed it back down on the table. She frowned slightly as we could hardly contain our laughter.

"Oh laugh it off you three" Marlene said, unable to hide her own amusement. Mary dropped her head on her shoulder.

Lily turned to me a ghost of a smile still on her face. "You don't think Amortentia is a soft option do you? I know it's a good option for the contest, but I don't want anyone to say anything about a _girl_ choosing a _love_ potion."

"Do you mean Snape?" Marlene asked in a low voice, her eyes narrowing as she spat his name.

Lily shifted nervously and didn't say anything.

"You can't let him bother you, Lily" I ordered her in a loving tone, offering my redheaded best friend the most comforting smile I could muster. "Snape shouldn't be a concern anymore. If you want to do Amortentia, then do it. You're a brilliant Potions Master, and if you give it your all, I'll bet a hundred galleons you'll beat him."

"A hundred galleons?" Lily laughed, her smile widening. "That's quite a lot of faith to put in me, Doe."

I gave her a quick one-armed hug. "I think you're worth it, but try and do your best, okay? I really don't want to be out a _hundred_ galleons." I chuckled and Lily smiled. "But honestly, Lils. I know you and Snape used to work on this together so if you need anything, I'm here for you."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Even chopping dried beetles for me?"

"Yup. Even if it is revolting."

Lily looked pleasantly pleased at the look of horror on Mary and Marlene's face and took a hearty sip of pumpkin juice.

"So what are you lovely ladies talking about this morning?" A confident voice asked as it dropped down in the seat beside Lily. I watched her face turn to a scowl, as James Potter sat beside her, the other Marauders in tow. Peter went straight for the food, as Remus and Sirius took a moment to situate themselves.

"We were discussing how we'd do anything for Lily," I admitted honestly, as Sirius yawned loudly.

" _Traitor,_ " Lily whispered playfully at me.

James' smile doubled in size. "What a coincidence. That's my _favorite_ topic." Lily's eyes narrowed, and the rest of us prepared for the inevitable.

"If you really would do anything for me, you'd leave me alone," Lily reminded him coldly, suddenly paying quite a bit of attention to cutting her food. "Not stalk me at every opportunity."

"It isn't stalking if I bring flowers," James said completely unabashed, his smile was still goofy as he stared longingly at my best friend. "And come on, Evans. You know you love me."

"Who told you that?" Lily demanded honestly. "I want to jinx them in the face."

"Here we go," Sirius said reaching for his goblet with a lighthearted sigh. "Can't you two at least wait until Transfiguration to have a row? I'd like to eat my waffles in peace."

James snickered. "Well Padfoot, I'd _like_ to enter our dormitory without finding you and your latest conquest every morning. But we can't always get what we want, now can we?"

Remus gave a deep sigh. "I think we'd _all_ like that Padfoot."

"I third that," Peter said through a mouthful of kippers, and Remus shook his head in disappointment.

"Looks like your dormmates are tired of your behavior," I told him, smirking.

"Prudes," Sirius joked and downed his pumpkin juice. "How is it my fault that you don't appreciate a master at work?"

The four of them snickered and after a minute James went back to talking to Lily while she pretended that she couldn't hear him. Mary and Marlene went back to talking about love potions. I ate the rest of my breakfast quietly, my brain flipping back between Professor Dumbledore and what I had heard Rabastan say.

"Meadowes, are you still worried about Lestrange?" Sirius whispered, watching me out of the corner of his eye, filling his plate with breakfast.

"What makes you think that?" I asked, taking a bite of eggs, knowing full well that that was exactly what I was thinking about.

"Because you're dead silent," Sirius pointed out obviously. "And you normally have a quippy response for everything."

I hadn't realized I was being that quiet. My mind had wandered back to Rabastan and his wicked ways and wondering exactly what the You-Know-Who wanted him to do.

"I can't stop thinking about it," I admitted, my hand drifting towards my wand on the table. "I know it doesn't scare you, but I think he was serious."

"I'm Sirius," Sirius said cheekily, ignoring that my eyes narrowed as he did. He was clearly trying to make me feel a bit better.

"Realistically, how many times have you made that pun?" I asked, chuckling. "Because if it's more than three it's _too_ many."

Sirius grinned. "Why is everyone always trying to ruin my fun? I mean I don't think a pun about your name is never _not_ funny if your name is also an adjective…."

Lily and James were still bickering quietly in the background, but Sirius' diatribe was drowned out by the screech of a hundred owls flying through the window delivering the morning post. Lily seemed to be thankful for it, picking up my copy of the prophet to bury herself in it away from James. I had no other mail but a thick red envelope fell into the bowl of kippers in front of Sirius and I. Sirius groaned loudly. Several people across the house table joined him in their sighs and many eyed the envelope with fear.

"Oh no," Mary whispered covering her mouth.

Marlene chuckled, twirling a piece of her hair. "Looks like someone's been bad."

"Honestly what now?" Sirius demanded ripping the envelope from the bowl and looking at with disdain.

"Is that a howler?" I asked looking on with interest. I'd never seen one in the flesh. I'd heard one morning that a Slytherin had gotten one in our third year after tying a cat to his broomstick, but I had been in the library when it happened.

Sirius nodded, looking at the thing with irritation. "From dear old mum," he said grimly, pointing at the return address that clearly read; Number 12 Grimmauld Place, London.

"What could you have possibly done?" I asked disliking his parents more with every passing moment. He shrugged and handed it to me lazily. He didn't seem to care much about it one way or the other. "You haven't lived there in months," I reminded him.

"Like that would stop Walburga Black from finding something to be mad about," Sirius replied miserably.

"Are you going to open it, mate?" James asked across the table, eyeing it with equal parts interest and hesitation.

"Do it mate," Peter squeaked. "You don't want it exploding in Potions or something."

Remus frowned, "I heard they only get louder the longer you wait," he said with a soft frown.

"They do," Sirius replied glumly. "I got one two summers ago from Ingrid Needleson and the damn thing nearly blew my eardrums when I left it on my nightstand." James and Remus both looked impressed.

I raised an eyebrow. "Why did Ingrid Needleson send you a howler, Sirius?"

Sirius looked smug for a moment, a smile replacing his irritation. "Well Meadowes, you see Ingrid and I didn't exactly see eye to eye about what kind of relationship she and I had."

I snorted. "So you deserved it?" I asked, growing amused.

"Probably," Sirius admitted. The rest of the table snickered, and Sirius looked pleased. His gaze only changed when he turned back to the red envelope sitting before him.

"It's better to just get it over with," James told him honestly.

"Rip off the band-aid," Lily agreed. Even as a muggleborn she seemed to understand the importance of not ignoring a howler.

"What's a band-aid?" James asked her, looking very confused. Lily ignored him, and Mary giggled.

Sirius shrugged and reached for the letter tearing off a piece of the corner. I couldn't help but think he was brave for opening it up at the house table in front of everyone. If it had been me I definitely would have taken it to the hall or something. But Sirius didn't seem to mind what anyone thought. It ripped the letter open and watched lazily as the Howler transformed into a, thin lipped mouth and began to emit a shrill scream.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK, MY FILTHY BLOOD TRAITOR SON!"

I immediately felt myself cringe at the words, but Sirius looked completely unaffected, bored even. But the rest of the Hall had all gone silent. Even at the staff table everyone had immediately stopped their conversations to listen.

"DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE THAT YOU, MY FILTHY FLESH OF SIN, HAVE SHACKED UP WITH THE POTTERS? HAVE YOU NO SHAME? MUST YOU SEEK REFUGE WITH A BIGGER BUNCH OF BLOOD TRAITORS THAN YOURSELF? YOU HAVE SOILED THE NAME OF BLACK. YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO WIZARDS EVERYWHERE. YOU WILL NEVER RETURN TO THIS HOUSE AND YOU WILL NEVER BE A BLACK AGAIN."

The letter-mouth gave one final high pitch scream of anger and then began ripping itselfs to shreds. For a moment the entire hall was quiet. Reggie Cattermole knocked over an entire flagon of pumpkin juice and no one noticed. Everyone's eyes were trained on Sirius. Especially Regulus, who sat dark-eyed and angry at the end of the Slytherin table.

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to me. "You're so lucky your parents are dead," he said quietly.

" _Sirius!"_ Remus chided quickly. "Tact!"

James let out guaff of laughter before he could stop himself. Lily looked like she wanted to hex him. I couldn't help the chuckle that formed in the back of my throat. "It's not so bad when other people are getting howlers, huh?" I asked, grinning.

Sirius smirked. "No it's not."

Marlene rolled her eyes beside me. "You two have a sick sense of humor sometimes, I hope you know that."

Sirius winked at me in a way that was reassuring. One of my favorite parts about him was his ability to make me laugh even about the darkest things.

"Oh you're only getting testy because you think Meadowes likes me better than you," Sirius told her confidently. "You're green with envy, McKinnon."

"Right," Marlene snorted. "No way, Black. She'd pick me every time."

"A galleon says you're wrong."

"Oh you're so on."

Sirius turned to me smugly. "So Meadowes? Ready to earn me my Galleon?"

"I refuse to give in to either of your childish ways," I said taking a sip from my goblet. "I'm staying neutral."

"That's because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings," Sirius told Marlene confidently.

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Could your ego get any bigger Black?"

"Nope" Remus said quickly.

"Believe me he's tried," James admitted. "He's at maximum capacity confident."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me one bit."

The two of them argued all throughout breakfast, giving me time to secretly contemplate their question. There was no way I could ever choose between Marlene and Sirius. I loved them both. Marlene had been my friend for five years. I loved her like a sister. She _was_ my sister. But I loved Sirius too. Not like a brother, though. That wasn't the right word for it. I loved Sirius in a different way. Something different. Something I supposed that was hard to define. The idea of losing either one of them made my heart ache uncomfortably, but for some reason the idea of losing Sirius actually made me nauseous. Unable to breathe. I took a quick sip from my pumpkin juice and reminded myself nothing was wrong. The fluttering feeling in my stomach was normal. That's how people felt about friends right? It was normal to love a friend that much. I reassured myself, ignoring the tiny voice in the back of my head that suggested otherwise.

The rest of the day went by very slowly. We were doing honking daffodils in Herbology that were so loud and obnoxious, it forced the entire class to don earmuffs _and_ earplugs. Amelia, Charity and I seemed to acquire a bouquet that had a particular affinity for creating songs and after twenty minutes of continuous honking, Professor Sprout had to separate them.

I was grateful when I got to Transfiguration and found a relatively simple, yet time-consuming lesson on transfiguration horses into broomsticks. We broke into teams, four people to a horse and it made easy to talk while we worked.

Thankfully the lesson in charms was only review and gave the four of us some time to chat while we mastered the hair-lengthening charm. Professor Flitwick was in an excellent mood and didn't assign us any homework so the four of us left the room very thankful.

"I wish this extra length wouldn't disappear after twenty minutes," Marlene said wistfully, shaking her waist-length hair as she walked. She kept twirling it in her hands, watching it as she patiently waited for the impermanent charm to disappear.

"I can't wait to be rid of it," I sighed, twirling my own hair, that was past my waist now, into a bun.

"Because your hair is already practically to your waist," Marlene pointed out. "Have you been using that hair tonic I bought you?"

"Only the finest Witch Weekly product available?" I asked, my hand pressed to my chest dramatically. "Of _course_ I have."

Marlene beamed. "Remind me to borrow some tomorrow."

Beside us Lily ran her hand through her own curtain of lengthened hair. "I've grown quite attached to it too," she admitted. "Wish the charm was permanent."

Her hair fell like a red wavy waterfall down her back, and Mary and I were quite sure we'd got James staring at it more than once during the lesson.

"You know who you look a bit like with you hair like that?" Mary said surveying her carefully. "Kyla Davies in Ravenclaw."

Kyla Davies was in our year. She was a quidditch player for the Ravenclaw team and was known for her waist-length straight red hair and thick eyelashes. She had a very sultry look to her, and with her new long hair Lily did resemble her.

"That's nice, I guess" Lily said eyeing her hair a bit differently. "Kyla's pretty."

"Definitely" Marlene agreed. "Landon told me all the boys on the Quidditch team think she's really fit." She stopped when she saw the look on Mary and I's faces.

"But Lily's much prettier," I argued taking out my wand and casting a severing charm on the extra bit of my hair. Lily brightened up quickly.

Marlene rolled her eyes dramatically. "Well obviously, Meadowes. Davies doesn't hold a candle to Evans here."

"You guys are being ridiculous," Lily said happily, a slight blush creeping over her cheeks as she smiled. It made us chuckle as we headed towards the dungeons for potions.

"Well I shall see you lot later," Marlene said turning the corner towards the Common Room, looking decidedly glad she opted to drop the class. She was no doubt going to spend the entire hour and a half hanging around the Common Room with the Seventh Years.

Half of me wished that I could join her. Potions had become so much less fun now that I spent every period sitting beside Severus Snape. The two of us were miserable with our new arraignment, opting to play an unspoken game of who could ignore who the longest. One that Snape seemed determined to win.

"What are the chances that Slughorn will have dropped this whole interhouse Potions partners thing?" Mary asked hopefully as we approached the classroom, clearly feeling as miserable about the next hour as I did. She had it so much worse with Mulciber that I almost felt guilty being upset about Snape.

"Unlikely," I said with a disappointed sigh. "He seems to be laboring under the delusion that it's something we _like._ " I rolled my eyes as we walked, knowing just how wrong he was. Half the class detested their partners, the Slytherins included.

"How could we possibly like being forced to work with the people he chose?" Lily demanded, her eyes narrowing. I didn't know if it was my partner, Mary's or her's that was crossing her mind. It was hard to tell. She hated them all.

Mary turned to Lily. "I still think you got off _easy_ ," she said with an impatient eye roll. "At least James is a Gryffindor"

"And would walk in front of fire for you," I added, with an amused laugh, as Lily scrunched her nose in disagreement.

Lily frowned, "Trust me, it's not easy. He spends the entire lesson trying to infuriate me as much as possible." She shuddered with annoyance at the thought. Something I thought might be a _slight_ overreaction. Sure, James could be a bit annoying sometimes, but he was generally pretty harmless. He'd never do anything to hurt or insult Lily. He liked her too much.

Mary glowered at our friend. "He doesn't call you a _Mudblood_ though." There was an unmistakable pain behind her eyes that seemed to silence both Lily and I instantly.

Lily looked at her with a bit of regret. "Yeah, I suppose that's true. Sorry Mary. I wasn't thinking about how bad you have it."

"It doesn't matter, Lily. It's fine. I've gotten used to how cruel they can be," Mary shrugged.

Her words hung painfully in the air for a second as several emotions crossed Mary's face in quick succession. It was hard for me to know how difficult this was for her. As a half-blood, I didn't half to deal with even half of what she did from the Slytherins. I couldn't imagine how it must have felt to always be the subject of their unadulterated hatred.

Lily and I both reached out to sling a careful arm over Mary's shoulders, pulling her into a three person hug.

"Who cares what they think?" I told her firmly, as we walked arm in arm through the corridors. "They're all a bunch of bigots anyway. Too stupid to know which end of their wand to hold up."

Lily nodded eagerly. "She's right, Mary. Let's just force ourselves through this next hour or so, okay?"

Mary gave a solemn nod, brightening a bit, and the three of us entered the Potions classroom without another word.

Slughorn was already at the front of the room when we arrived, with a wide rusted Cauldron bubbling in front of him. From the gleeful look on his face, it was clear that he was deeply passionate about whatever today's lesson was. _Good_ , I thought quietly. Maybe that would make this lesson less painful. If it was fun, it might be easier to forget Snape was even there.

I took my usual seat at the front of the room beside Snape begrudgingly. He didn't look up when I sat down. His entire face was buried in his copy of Advanced Potion-Making, so absorbed in what he was reading that his nose was practically pressed against the page. I ignored him and sat quietly waiting for class to begin.

Once the last student had filed into the room, Slughorn flicked his wand and the stone dungeon door slammed closed with a resounding thud and drew everyone's faces forward.

"Welcome my most prized students!" he said, casting specific looks at his favorites as he did. Snape sat up a little straighter, knowing he was one of them. I had to resist the urge to kick him under the desk. Stupid, overconfident, git.

"I have a very interesting lesson for you all today," Slughorn continued, tracing the edge of the cauldron with his wand. As he did, the Cauldron bubbled again and a silvery mist erupted from it, causing some of the students up front to clap appreciatively.

Slughorn beamed. "For today's lesson, you will all be attempting to brew a very tricky and very useful potion called the Draught of Living Death."

Several people in the class all snapped their attention immediately to Slughorn, suddenly much more interested.

"This potion is devilishly tricky," Slughorn said, realizing the impact of his words, "and in my nearly fifteen years of teaching this subject. Not once has a student every correctly brewed the potion to completion."

Now, both Snape and Lily looked at the Potions Master with glistening excitement in their eyes. As the best Potions brewers in the class, it was clear that both of them were aiming to be the first of Slughorn's pupils to master it. I felt an overwhelming desire of hope that it would be Lily. Nothing would be more fun than watching than her beat Snape at his own game.

"In honor of its difficulty," Slughorn continued, "If any one of you does manage to correctly brew the potion, I will reward you with a prize."

Smiling widely, the Potions Master reached into the breast pocket and unearthed a small vial. He held it carefully between his fingertips, giving everyone a good luck at its contents. A glittering gold liquid sloshed back and forth in the vial. Just enough for one mouthful. My jaw fell open as I realized what it was. Lily let out an audible sigh of pleasure.

"Tell me, does anyone know what this is?" Slughorn asked aloud, as several other people gasped in recognition of the vial's contents.

"Felix Felices," I said aloud, before I could stop myself.

Snape rolled his eyes at me as Slughorn beamed happily. "Yes! Take ten points to Gryffindor house, Ms. Meadowes!" he bellowed jovially, and then turned back to the class. "For those of you who do not know, Felix Felices, or as it is more commonly known, Liquid Luck is a very rare potion, that when consumed provides luck to the drinker for 24 hours."  
Another collective sigh fell over the room at his words. I noticed all of the Marauders eyeing the vial with an intense interest. Of course _they_ would want it. I shuddered thinking of what the four of them could pull off if they were any luckier than they already were.

"So that is my offer," Slughorn said, pocketing the vial. "One vial of liquid luck to any one who can properly brew the Draught of Living Death. So good luck, and happy brewing." Slughorn tapped the empty chalkboard behind him and it filled with the page number and instructions from our books.

There was a quick shuffle around the room as everyone moved to their cauldrons and books, gathering supplies and immersing themselves in the directions from the text. The prize of Liquid Luck seemed to have motivated the entire class. I'd never seen people so absorbed in a potions lesson before.

Thinking just how helpful a vile of liquid luck could be, I set to work with my potion. Slughorn hadn't been exaggerating when he said it was difficult. It was at least twice as hard as any other potion I had tried to brew this year, with infinitely more steps.

All around the room, people where completely focused on their potions, so much so that there wasn't the usual chatter that normally filled the dungeon. Everyone was too focused on their cauldrons. Lily hadn't looked up from her cauldron once, and the Marauders who usually took turns trying to toss things into the Cauldrons in front of them were all quiet and working determinedly. I tried to do the same.

Midway through the class, my cauldron was steaming and violet colored when it should be a pale lilac and simmering, and it was adding to my growing frustration. I had followed every step in the directions perfectly.

Beside me, Snape was completely immersed in his potion. His eyes only darting from it long enough to check something in the book. He had a quill in his hand too and he kept scratching out things in the text and writing something else. He didn't seem to be following the directions at all. At first, I thought it was my imagination, but the longer I watched, I realized I was right. When we got to the step that ordered us to cut the dung beetles to drain the juice, Snape crushed them with the side of his dagger. The beetle in front of him squirted out twice the amount of juice mine had. I noticed his cauldron was simmering too, and the perfect shade of lilac. Whatever he was doing was working.

After another moment, he noticed me watching him and glowered at me.

"What, Meadowes?" he snapped coldly, staring back with a mixture of dislike and annoyance. _Figures he would be rude_ , I thought glumly.

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to decide whether I was curious enough to ask him about it. He raised an impatient, black eyebrow at me, and I decided my curiosity would win out.

"Are you not following the directions?" I asked quietly, gesturing to the next beetle he crushed with the blade.

Snape rolled his eyes and turned back to his beetle. "What's it to _you?_ " he demanded, crushing the beetle with one quick movement of his fingers and dumping the juice into his cauldron without any hesitation. He was confident. He knew his way worked better.

I paused to give him a dirty look. "It's working better that way," I said carefully, trying not to compliment him too much as I tried his method. He may have been a good potions master, but he didn't deserve praise from me. Not after the way he acted to Lily.

Snape's eyes were glued to my hands as I crushed the beetle the way he had and added it to my potion. The effect was instantaneous. It immediately stopped steaming and changed color. It wasn't nearly as light as the perfect lilac of Snape's potion but it was nearly light purple.

Snape and I said nothing else to one another as we finished our potions, but I did silently make note of every change Snape made to the directions, even if I didn't follow them. It was jarring just how much better his methods seemed to be than the instructions.

By the time the lesson was over, Snape's cauldron was a perfect turquoise just as the instructions dictated, and he sat in front of it confidently, knowing his was the best. I couldn't see Lily's cauldron from here but I found myself desperately hoping hers was better.

Slughorn took his time examining every potion carefully making little notes aloud as he did. Every other cauldron in the room looked dark blue or black, and Slughorn shook his head disapprovingly. My own potion was a dark cobalt. Only Lily's came close to Snape's. It was a soft sky blue. Slughorn had looked very pleased with it until he came to Snapes.

"Well see here!" Slughorn exclaimed, looking delighted. "Severus has done it! He has brewed the Draught of Living Death!"

There was a collective groan of disappointment and annoyance from every other person in the dungeon. The Marauders in particular looked on with pure hatred as Professor Slughorn presented Severus with the vial full of glittering potion. Lily gave them both a pointed frown and turned immediately back to her Potions book. I knew her well enough to know she was going over every step again, trying to figure out where she went wrong.

Snape didn't look particularly proud as he took the vial from Slughorn. He was calm as he slipped it into his robe pocket, like he had expected to win. He had probably known from the moment Slughorn announced the potion we were making. That annoyed me. I scooped up my books with one arm and left our desk before he could do anything else to irritate me.

Mary was hovering by Lily's desk when I got there, seemingly consoling her about her potion. Lily looked very dejected and vanished the contents of her cauldron without another look.

"...honestly Lily. You can't win them all. Yours was much better than mine, and loads better than James!" Mary told her reassuringly.

Lily gave her a small smile that fell quickly. "Thanks, Mary. It just sucks that it was Snape who won, you know? He already thinks he's more talented than me, and now he's just proven it." She let out a low, disheartened sigh.

"That's rubbish," I said quickly, reaching out to squeeze my friends shoulder. "Snape is not better than you, Lily. Not even a little bit. You're brilliant and immensely talented. Not to mention, you're loyal and kind. That's much more than any one can say about Snape. Even if he is good at Potions, he's still a rubbish person."

My words seemed to make Lily perk up a bit, and she gathered her books with a small smile. "Thanks, Doe."

I opened my mouth to tell her not to worry about it when shouting filled the dungeon, drowning out whatever I was about to say.

" _...Honestly boys. Again? Draught of Living Death is a highly dangerous potion. Not something for you lot to mess around with! Ten points from Gryffindor and detention Saturday night for the both of you!"_

The three of us turned around to see both James and Sirius being lectured by Slughorn as he summoned a flask out of their hands. They had tried to nick a bit of Snape's potion from his cauldron and had been caught from Slughorn. Neither one of them looked guilty. They actually looked almost _pleased._

"Sorry Professor Slughorn," James replied quickly, the smile on his face showing just how unashamed he was. "We were just trying to see exactly how Sniv- I mean _Severus_ managed such a _tricky_ potion."

"Especially one that seems to be _so_ dangerous," Sirius muttered, looking entirely surprised at the thought. Then he flashed Slughorn one of his classic Sirius smiles and added. "In all honesty, we just want to _learn_. We have a voracious hunger for knowledge that simply cannot be quenched in only one single, _lonely_ hour of Potions."

James looked at his best friend with pride, clapping him on the shoulder and flashing Professor Slughorn a cheeky smile. "It's true, one hour with you simply isn't enough, Professor Slughorn."

Beside me Lily rolled her eyes and Mary had to hide her giggle, but Professor Slughorn seemed to be falling for both James and Sirius' charm, hook-line and sinker. He gave them a flattered smile for a second and then straightened his Velvet robes.

"Be that as it may boys, there's a time and a place," he said, still looking proud and a little flushed. "I suppose since you were on the noble path to education, I will forgo the detention, but I will take the points. To teach a lesson, of course."

Both James and Sirius beamed, and my mouth fell open. The two of them could get out of anything. It was astounding.

"Deal" James agreed brightly. "Seems very fair to me. Punishment fitting of the crime."

"Of course," Sirius agreed. "You wouldn't want us to turn into naughty boys would we, Sluggy?"

Slughorn let out a booming laugh that made all three of us jump slightly as we watched, and made the boys seem very pleased.

"Oh you two!" Slughorn said, pointing a finger at James and Sirius, as he continued to chuckle "Always good for a laugh. Now head off before you two get away with anything else."

Sirius and James took the warning, smiling widely as the darted from the room, escaping with only half the punishment they had originally had and seeming very thrilled about it. As they did, I was pretty sure I noticed James tuck a smaller, very full flask of potion into his robe pockets. So they had gotten away with nicking some after all? Unbelievable. I couldn't imagine what the two of them could actually accomplish if they put their talents to something good.

It left Lily, Mary and I together our things with our mouths still hung open in surprise.

"I swear, it's a miracle those too don't get kicked out every year" I said shaking my head as we left the classroom behind them, and heard their amused laughter echo down the halls.

Lily snorted. "At the rate they're going this year, I wouldn't rule it out. They're lucky everyone seems to like them so much. It's the only reason McGonagll hasn't chucked them out. Even if I wish she would."

For an unknown reason, I felt a quick jab of pain flash through my chest at the idea of Sirius and James being kicked of the castle that I didn't understand. It felt like a sharp jab to the ribs and it almost stopped me in the middle of the corridor. _Weird_ , I thought mindlessly, ignoring the feeling.

"Come on, Lils," I said quietly, the thought of an entire year without Sirius around, sounding worse and worse. "think about how bored we'd be if they weren't around."

"Think about how many points Gryffindor would have towards the house cup without them losing them all the time," Lily countered.

"Still, I think you'd miss them," Mary mused happily, throwing a carefree look in my direction, anticipating Lily's reaction.

Lily snorted appropriately. "Somehow I find that _highly_ unlikely."

Mary and I laughed in unison as Lily spent the next ten minutes listing all the things that annoyed her about James Potter and then took to listing them in alphabetical order, getting sillier and sillier until she said she got to the letter N and said she hated his nose hairs.

It continued all the way to the library, where Madam Pince shot all three of us a scathing look that quieted our giggles somewhat. Lily and Mary had agreed to accompany me to the Restricted Section to pick up the book Professor Sayre had recommended. I had detention with her tonight and I wanted to make sure I read some of it before we talked. Madam Pince examined Professor Sayre's pass very carefully before she handed the three of us the key, and she watched us from behind her thick glasses the entire time we stood there. We tried not to let it bother us as we searched the rows and rows of newly unrestricted books.

"What did she think I _faked it_?" I asked, chuckling Madam Pince she clutched the pass from Professor Sayre, looking it over and over from her desk. "If I were going to fake it, I'd have put Professor Tellweathers name on it. He'd probably just admit his future self did it."

"You never should have taken Divination," Mary said, shaking her head. "What a load of waffle."

"Tell me about it," I laughed, running my hands over some of the scarier books that seemed to be chained to the shelves and only available for reading here in the library. I didn't even want to know what those contained if we couldn't be trusted to take them to our Common Rooms.

"Merlin, maybe she did think you fake it" Lily grinned, dangling herself off of one of the old wooden chairs in front of us. Her eyes were locked Madam Pince who had now taken to jabbing the slip with or wand to reveal any secrets from it. "Or she really doesn't trust Sayre. It's flattering, if it's the former. Forgery is a tricky magic. Have you ever tried to magick someone's signature? It's bloody difficult"

"Have you done that quite a bit then?" Mary asked cheekily, raising an eyebrow at her, as she looked up from the shelves.

Lily blushed. "Oh a permission slip here and there."

" _Lily!_ " I chastised jokingly. "Forging permission slips? As a prefect? It's like James Potter has taken possesed you and taken control of your body!"

"Oh bite me," Lily teased, tossing a quill in my direction, that I had to duck to avoid, laughing loudly as I did. Madam Pomfrey shot us another dirty look.

"I'm twice as fun as James," Lily boasted confidently, straightening herself up on the chair. "My mischief just doesn't lose points Gryffindor Points."

"And we all thank you for it," Mary agreed it, patting her on the head approvingly. Lily smiled and then spun around again in her chair, helping me in my search for the book.

"Merlin some of these look terrifying, huh?" she asked as I scanned the titles that littered the shelves of the restricted section. "I mean who would ever want to read something called the _Art of Death?_ "

"Future Death Eaters in the making," I said without skipping a beat, putting back a book titled _Most Horrific Magical Crimes of the Last Century,_ my eyebrows still raised in confusion.

Mary shuddered and leaned against the stacks, eyeing the books like they might leap up and jinx her. "It's no wonder you need a pass to get in here," she said quietly, crossing her arms. "Some of these books are downright terrifying. Not exactly something I'd want the Slytherins getting a hold of."

"Trust me, the Slytherins have already read these and worse," I recounted, "You should have seen the books that Sirius' parents owned. Some of them would turn your hair white."

"Not that yours needs it," Lily joked, picking up a strand of my silvery hair with her laugh. I winked at her and put back a very worn copy of _The Dangers of Marrying a Half-Blood Wilhemiania Finnegan,_ with a grimace.

"Would this be the _infamous_ trip to the Black house you haven't told me anything about?" Mary asked, raising an eyebrow at me as I crouched down in front of the shelves in search of the book.

" _Infamous?_ " I stopped to face her with a strange look. "Whoever said it was infamous?"

Mary grinned mischievously. "I did. Based on the fact that you haven't told me _anything_ about it.

I got about a hundred letters from you this summer and not one about the trip to Sirius'. I had to hear about it from this one." She pointed a lighthearted finger at Lily, who looked rather sheepish, shelving a book that had scrunched up it's leather face at her.

I snorted. "There was nothing to tell, Mary. Honest. We just hung out for a little while, and I ducked out before his parents came home. I met his Uncle Alpahrd too. He was decent, actually. Kind of like a grown up Sirius."

"Terrifying thought," Lily muttered quietly, scowling until I flashed her a look that made her say "Sorry," quietly. She knew I hated when she ragged on Sirius, especially since I had been the only one of our friends who _had_ been supportive of Snape when they had been friends.

Mary still looked thoroughly unconvinced, like I was leaving out part of the story. "That's it?" she asked, looking bored.

"What exactly were you expecting?" I asked her, slightly amused. "I was at Sirius' house not Disneyland."

"Merlin I wish Marlene was here so she could ask what Disneyland was," Lily joked quietly behind me, looking rather pleased. "I'd have _no_ idea how to explain that one to her."

Mary and I both smiled, and then Mary rounded on me again. "Still. It's a little odd don't you think? I mean I know you and Sirius are _just_ friends." She said this like she was unconvinced, but moved on quickly, before I could interject. "But it's Sirius Black were talking about here. And he invited you to his house. Where Regulus and his parents live. People he hates. And he just _shared_ that with you? An intimate and painful part of his life. You don't think that's odd?"

"Nope," I said quickly, scanning the higher shelves. "That's what friends do, remember? You've been talking to Marlene too much, Mary. It was nothing. Sirius and I just hung out in his room. It was like being in the Common Room except full of Old, Black family heirlooms" I thought of the wall of beheaded House Elves, and shuddered slightly.

"Except it's a _little_ more than that," Lily said quietly behind me. I shot her a pointed look and she held her hands up. "Merlin, nevermind. Bit sensitive about the topic are you, Doe?"

"Honestly, I'm just tired of repeating myself to you two and Marlene," I told them, with a sigh. I'd spent the better part of a year defending Sirius and I's strange relationship. "Sirius and I are just friends. Don't you three think you'd be the first people I'd tell if it were otherwise?"

"I suppose," Lily said, her eyes flickering quickly to Mary.

Mary nodded. "Yes," she agreed begrudgingly.

"Good, then let's try and find this slimy, bigoted book full of dark magic, shall we?" I asked, glad to no longer be talking about me and Sirius.

The three of us were quiet as we scanned the shelves, reading the vile titles over and over, until I finally found Secrets of the Darkest Art, wedged between a How-To Guide for the Dark Curses and a crumbling copy of _the Pureblood Directory_.

"Merlin, it's heavy," I sighed as I weighed it in my hand. The book felt heavier than Hogwarts a History and that thing was already like carrying around a brick. "Who know there was this much Dark Magic in the world?"

"Bet Snape did," Mary muttered quietly, too quietly for Lily to hear. She had busied herself with the copy of the Pureblood Directory, flipping through the faded pages with a horrified look on her face.

"Have you ever read this before?" she asked in a quiet voice. "It's all about the last Pureblood families in Wizarding Britain."

"You mean the Slytherin's bible?" I asked darkly, my nose scrunching up as she flipped past the chapter on the Burke family. "Can't say I ever had the desire."

Lily flipped the page back to the list of all the families and gave one tiny shudder. "Did you know that the Ollivanders are Pureblood?" she asked quietly, scanning the list with a strange interest. "And the Macmillans too. Blimey! I didn't know that." Her eyes darted across the page with a strange, confused intensity. "You know what's weird though? The Potters aren't in here."

"Searching for information on your future in-laws?" I joked, leaning against the shelf with a cocky smile. Mary burst into laughter before she could stop herself and had to cover her mouth with her hand. Lily didn't even look phased she simply looked back up at me and smiled.

"You know I wasn't" she said with an evil smile, "but the Blacks _are_ in here if you'd like to start planning _your_ future family tree."

"Touche, Evans" I said rolling my eyes and turning back to the shelves, trying to ignore her and Mary's loud laughter that only quieted when Madam Pince shot them both a dirty look, something I was very grateful for. I had already enough Sirius and I talk today to last a lifetime.

"The Greengrasses are in here too!" Lily said after another minute, still clutching the page. "Isn't that your mother's family, Doe?"

She stopped reading the page long enough to look up at me inquisitively, waiting for an answer. For a second, my knees locked and my chest tightened, the way it always did when I thought of Aubleus or my mother's family. A fervent dose of fear and fury felt like it was filling my veins.

"Those would be the ones," I whispered, clutching the book in my arms tighter. "But I doubt it's a pleasant read, Lily. From what I've gathered, Aubleus was one of the _tamer_ members of my mother's family."

Lily's eyes widened at the warning and flipped the page immediately. "I'm so sorry, Doe," she whispered feverently, looking distressed as she read my face. "I didn't mean to upset you, honest. I shouldn't have said anything." She looked immediately remorseful.

I shook my head very firmly. "You didn't, Lily. I swear. The Greengrasses are an unavoidable part of my life. They'll come up from time to time. They're part of me, whether I like it or not. There's nothing wrong with being curious about it."

It certainly wasn't something I could avoid thinking about. Every time I looked in the mirror, all I could see was the characteristic Greengrass appearance, and every time I thought about my parents or what happened to them, all I saw was the face of the Greengrass family flashing through my head. That, and I couldn't go a month in the Castle without some Slytherin bringing them up.

Lily flashed me a sympathetic smile and nodded. "Good thing you're mostly a Meadowes then, huh?" she said brightly.

"Meadowes through and through," I agreed, letting my father's charming smile float through my brain, and then my mother's She had always told me she had been _so_ excited to become a Meadowes. She introduced herself as Aurelia Meadowes _everywhere_ she went. It wasn't until years after she died that I realized she must have been excited to shed the name of the family whose ideas and actions she detested. That for her, marrying my father allowed her to make a new name and family for herself. One where she could believe in all the things she wanted too.

"Except the Ravenclaw proclivities," I added quickly, feeling lighter as I thought of the happy memories of my parents. "I don't know how my father ever expected me to be in that house."

"Better than Slytherin though" Mary reminded me.

"Anything's better than Slytherin," I agreed. Lily said nothing. She just quietly flipped the page of the book, and I wondered if she was thinking of Snape. She had used to be such a fervent supporter of Slytherin's good qualities because of him. Now, she must be conflicted.

My nose scrunched in disgust as she flipped to the chapter on the Lestrange family, my mind instantly traveling back to what I'd seen from Rabastan the night before. After my detention with Professor Sayre, I'd have to tell Dumbledore all about it. Something I was dreading more and more by the minute.

"I can't take any more of this," Lily said, mildly disgusted as she roughly shelved the book in her hands. "Come on. Let's get out here. I've had enough Pureblood talk for one day."

"Truer words have never spoken," I agreed, checking out the book with Madam Pince, and then heading for the Common Room with Mary and Lily, still distracted as my brain flipped back and forth from my parents and Rabastan.

The Common Room was packed when we got back and the three of us struggled to find a cluster of armchairs that were empty for us to sit down in. We ended up commandeering a small couch near the Portrait hole, that was big enough for two, so I curled up on the floor, by Mary's feet. Krysten Morris, who was sporting a very pink lipstick today, informed us as we sat down that Marlene told her to tell us she was off with Baxter Thronbottle and would meet us for dinner.

"Of course she is," Mary said shaking her head in amusement. "That girl's reliable huh?"

"Like Professor McGonagall with a stopwatch, " I agreed.

Lily smiled as she pulled a copy of today's prophet off of the couch and buried herself behind it. Mary leaned back on the couch and watched absentmindedly as Fabain Prewett wrestled his twin brother in the corner.

I still had several hours before I had to meet Professor Sayre for my detention, so I cracked open the black leather cover of the book in my hands and began to read, drowning out the sounds of my house mates.

The book was written in a tiny looping script that made the text look much more appealing than it really was, considering how disgusting the material was. I was barely chapter in when I realized that whoever had written this book was a Wizard much worse than anyone I had ever known, excluding maybe Rabastan. The entire book was a detailed how-to on some of the foulest magic in the world, and the reverence that the author wrote about it was sickening. One of the first and longest chapters of the book was all about _killing_ someone in order to trap part of your soul in an object and it made my stomach turn to think about it.

By the time I got to the Chapter on Inferi, I almost gave up on it entirely. I had been reading it for so long, that both Mary and Lily had given up on reading the prophet and headed back up to the dormitory to listen to a new record with Alice and Rylie.

But I had too much respect for Professor Sayre to stop now, and anyway she had been right. It _was_ fascinating to learn how Dark Wizards thought. Even if it made me nauseous to do it. It would help me at defense. It would help me become an auror. I had to keep reading.

"Merlin Meadowes, you're whiter than Nearly-Headless Nick," a confident voice blurted beside me.

I looked up from a particularly gruesome chapter on using the Imperius Curse to the fullest to see Sirius Black standing in front of me, with an exhausted Remus Lupin beside his side.

"Nick is translucent, not white," I reminded him, closing the foul book carefully and placing it in my lap.

Sirius rolled his eyes, and Remus cracked a smile.

"Do you make it your mission to ruin every one of my jokes?" Sirius asked, pouting slightly.

"Only the bad ones," I told him grinning, "I would never ruin a _good_ joke."

Remus smiled. "Seems Doe has a higher standard for humor than you do, Padfoot. What a surprise."

"Trust me, it's not. Meadowes has a higher standard for _everything_ than I do," Sirius replied cheekily, plopping down lazily on the ground beside me. "Well, except maybe reading material, " he reached for the closed book beside me. " _Secrets of the Darkest Arts?_ Have you had some sort of moral ephiny in the last few hours, Meadowes? Switching sides in this war?"

I gave him a dark look as I shook my head. "Hardly," I told him, "Professor Sayre recommended it. She thought it might help me become an Auror if I could know how Dark Witches and Wizards think."

Sirius snorted, looking amused. "Well if that's the case, I'll be a _shoo in_. I've had almost Seventeen years of experience listening to the darkest witches and wizards I know spew their dragon dung ideas at the dinner table."

"There's the silver lining," I told him, and he grinned.

"Well if I were you, I'd take a break from the Dark Magic and head to dinner. You realize you're one of the last ones here?" Sirius said, nodding at the nearly empty Common Room.

I hadn't realized it was as late as it was. The ancient clock on the Common Room wall said it was nearly seven.

"As much as I'd like to, I can't," I said, getting up and dropping the foul book in my bag. "I have detention with Professor Sayre tonight."

Lily had promised to meet me outside of Dumbledore's office after the detention so we could talk to him about Rabastan, and she swore she'd bring food from the Great Hall too. The only thing keeping me motivated.

Sirius looked up at me, his face changing into a wide, confident grin. "Oh right, forgot about that. Earned that one, didn't you? Never seen Burke look so pissed off. Though, I probably would be too if I had three inch boils covering my face."

I smiled at the memory of the exploding boils covering Elizabeth's snarky face. "She deserved it," I said happily. "I think it was well worth a detention, don't you?"

Sirius nodded, a lazy smile on his face as he turned to Remus. "Isn't it sweet watching our influence corrupt Meadowes?" he asked his mater. "She's proud of her detentions now."

Remus shook his head looking slightly disappointed, and I rolled my eyes.

"I hate to break it to you, Sirius, but I was jinxing Slytherins far before you and I ever became friends," I reminded him, sliding my bag over my shoulder.

Sirius lifted himself from the floor in one quick movement, looking very cocky. "Ah, yes. But were you flaunting your detentions like badges of honor? Nope. That was all _my_ influence. Something I consider my own personal victory."

"Making me irresponsible _excites_ you?"

"Oh, every time."

I shook my head at his ridiculousness, as Sirius grinned further and then bade them goodbye, heading for Professors Sayre's classroom before I was late.

The castle was mostly empty as I made my way to the defense classroom. Everyone was at dinner and it gave the quiet halls a strange feeling. I tried to prepare myself as I walked. Detention with Professor Sayre wasn't something I was worried about. I liked her. It was seeing Elizabeth that I dreaded. I dislike that girl on a good day, when I had twenty other students in the room to distract me from her presence. Sitting in an empty classroom with her for an hour? That was torture.

When I got to the Defense Classroom, the thick door was closed. I reached out and knocked quietly and there was no answer. Weird. I waited another minute and knocked again, to no answer.

I teetered on the balls of my feet, wondering what to do. I decided to see if it was locked, thinking perhaps that Professor Sayre was in her storage closet and didn't hear me. The door wasn't locked and sprung open immediately as I gripped it. I entered the room, and found Professor Sayre sitting at her desk, holding a silver hand mirror in her hand, yelling at it in a quick, stern voice. Except it wasn't really a voice.

There was a strange hissing sound coming out of the back of Professor Sayre's throat as she spoke foreign unintelligible words into the mirror's reflection. Almost like she was speaking another language, but one I'd never heard before.

The moment she looked up and saw me, Professor Sayre immediately placed the mirror down on the desk and stopped speaking the strange language.

She smiled, as she placed the mirror in her desk drawer quickly. "Oh, hello there Ms. Meadowes. I didn't see you there, please come in." She didn't acknowledge either the mirror or the strange words she had been speaking, not that I expected her too. Whatever it was, it was none of my buisness.

"I'm sorry for interrupting you," I said quickly, walking towards her desk. "I knocked first."

Professor Sayre gave a firm shake of her head. "Don't worry. You didn't interrupt anything important. Please, have a seat here." She pointed at the desk in front of hers, where a towering stack of Daily Prophets were sitting in wait.

"I didn't want to give you anything _too_ terrible," Professor Sayre said with a small smile as I took my seat in front of them. "I needed these Prophets organized by date. Figured that might be a bit less awful than doing lines." She cracked a crooked smile.

"Much, thank you!" I said, taking an armful of them with relief. I was liking Professor Sayre more. "I hate lines."

"I thought it might also give us a chance to talk," she said quietly, leaning back in her chair. "About Defense Against the Dark Arts and your plans to be an Auror."

That perked me up, drawing my attention. There was nothing I like talking about more.

"Of course, I could talk about that for hours " I said brightly, I scanned the room for a second and noticed there was only one desk with prophets on it. "Is Elizabeth not coming then?"

Professor Sayre let out a low, amused laugh. "No, I'm afraid Professor Slughorn said that Ms. Burke insisted should perform her detention with him, instead." She looked annoyed at this. And I understood why. It was just like Elizabeth to be arrogant enough to find a way out of accepting her punishment, and pissing off Professor Sayre in the process.

"Did she now?" I rolled my eyes. "That's not out of character for her."

"I didn't think so," Professor Sayre said, clearing understanding what I meant. "It did seem a tad disrespectful, though, I have to admit I wasn't particularly upset about not having to spend more time with her."

I wasn't able to hide the look of pure delight I wore at her words. Even Professor Sayre disliked Elizabeth.

Professor Sayre smiled as I begun to sort the Prophets. "So tell me, Ms. Meadowes. Did you ever find Secrets of the Darkest Arts?"

I nodded eagerly. "Yeah, I did. I read a big bit of it today."

"And?"

"It was horrifying," I told her honestly. "Chilling. I can't believe there are people who want to know about magic like that, let alone _use it._ "

"Can't you?" Professor Sayre asked evenly. "You've seen what's been going on lately in our world, particularly here in Britain. Years ago, it would have been unbelievable that someone like Lord Voldemort had gained enough support to have rallies and commit atrocities like he does, and yet here is gaining strength, support and followers every day."

She didn't even flinch as she used You-Know-Who's name. She simply shook her head disappointed.

"I don't understand how people can support him," I said quietly, seething as I thought about. "How anyone could honestly believe this rubbish about blood-status and power. It doesn't make any sense."

"Of course it doesn't," Professor Sayre said quickly. "Because that's not what this is really about, Ms. Meadowes. I'm sure that's what Voldemort preaches, because he knows that's what these Pureblood elitist zealots want, and he knows if he gives it to them he can have what he wants, power and control of the wizarding world."

My fingers were trembling as I sorted through the prophets in my hand. It made it so much scarier to think about it this way. It wasn't only about Blood-Status. That was just the idea that kept this going.

"That's why we need people who are willing to to do the work to take these people down," Professor Sayre added, seeing the look on my face. "Young people like you who knows what's right and are willing to do what they need to in order to defend it. So tell me, what is the process of becoming an Auror in this country?"

Professor Sayre and I spent the better part of my hour of detention talking about becoming an Auror. We discussed everything from Aubleus to Mad-Eye Moody and how many classes I was taking now in order to be considered. She was very easy to talk too and very knowledgeable about defense. She spent almost fifteen minutes detailing the difference between the States and Britain's stances on Dark Magic and how the aurors combat them. By the end of the hour, I was sure that Professor Sayre was by far the most capable and talented Defense teacher we'd ever had, and didn't doubt for a moment why Professor Dumbledore had hired her. We had spent so long talking and about so much, that my mind never wandered back to the strange language I had heard her speaking when I came in.

"It seems your hour is up," Professor Sayre said, her eyes flashing to the clock on the wall. "I won't keep you any longer."

"Oh, okay. Great." I said gathering my things in my arms, in a far better mood than I thought I would have been at the end of this night. "Thank you for the talk. This was one of the best detentions I think I've ever had."

Professor Sayre smiled. "Thank you, Ms. Meadowes I will take that as a compliment."

I left the defense room with a huge smile on my face. It had been ages since I felt like we had a Defense teacher who could _really_ teach us things, and it was thrilling to know we that we now did. I couldn't wait for the rest of the year and the lessons she had planned. If they were anything like what she talked about tonight, then we would be really prepared for everything that was happening in our world.

I headed straight for Dumbledore's office, and found Lily waiting for me dutifully, clutching a sandwich from dinner wrapped in a white napkin.

"Hey Doe!" she said brightly. "How was detention?"

I could hardly hide my smile now. "Lily, it was absolutely brilliant! Professor Sayre, she's amazing. We spent the whole hour talking about defense, and the war, and becoming an auror. You should have heard some of the stuff she had to say. She really knows what she's talking about."

"Yeah?" Lily asked, looking entertained. "That's fantastic, Doe. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Her lessons have been great so far, so I'm not surprised. Although I do think you may be the only person in the castle whose ina good mood after a detention."

"What can I say? I'm a rebel," I joked.

Lily smiled, "That's for sure," she agreed, handing me the sandwich she brought for me.

"Have I mentioned that I love you lately?" I told her, as she handed it to me. "Because I do. This smells amazing, by the way"

Lily beamed. "You have, and you're welcome. Good thing you came fast too. Hagrid came by five minutes ago and Fang nearly snatched the thing out of my hand."

"Well thank Merlin for your reflexes," I moaned as I took a deep, satisfying bite of the pork and fig jam sandwich. "We should keep them quiet, before James tries to recruit you for the Quidditch team too."

Lily laughed loudly. "Right. Have you seen me on a broom? I'd accidently knock everyone out of the air."

"That might be helpful if you knocked the other team's players off _their_ brooms."

"Unfortunately, I don't think it works that way," Lily smiled, and heading towards the large Hippogriff statue that marked Dumbledore's office.

"The passwords Bertie Botts," Lily said, telling the statue kindly. "I had Gideon tell me at dinner."

"He seemed very eager to help when he found out it was for _you,_ " Lily added pointedly, smiling as I blushed pink and she turned back to the statue to give the Password again.

The Hippogriff statue didn't begin to turn like it normally did. Instead it gave a tiny shake of his head, cracking it's stone beak.

"The Headmaster is busy," it answered flatly. "Please try again another time."

"Busy?" Lily asked in a worried voice, looking very disappointed. "But it's important. We really need to talk to him. Someone could be in danger!"

" _Danger?_ " a stern voice behind us called. "Who is in danger, Ms. Evans?"

Lily and I turned around to find Professor McGonagall walking towards us. She was clutching a long scroll in one hand and her wand in the other. She was watching us carefully from behind her spectacles.

"Oh," Lily said nervously. "Um...well.. It's.." She began to trail off, looking to me. "We needed to talk to Professor Dumbledore about it."

"Professor Dumbledore is very busy right now," Professor McGonagall said firmly. "Surely, if it is important and someone is in danger, you can tell me. I am your head of house. I will pass it along to Professor Dumbledore. Now, Ms. Evans. What is going on?"

Lily looked very nervous now. Her eyes kept flitting over to me, as Professor McGonagall transfixed her with a stern impatient glance. It was clear she wanted me to talk about it. I was the one who had seen this after all. I sighed and took a deep breath.

Professor McGonagall didn't look like she was in the mood for much for any nonsense so I decided to be very straightforward with it.

"Well, Professor," I started, treading carefully. "Yesterday when I was coming back from tutoring with Frank Longbottom, I stumbled across Rabastan Lestrange and Antonin Dolohov coming out of an empty classroom, and they both looked frantic, and sort of enraged."

Professor McGonagall was watching me very carefully now, listening to my every word.

"Yes, Ms, Meadowes please continue," she urged in her stern voice.

"Well I overheard them talking about a difficult job they were assigned to do, and they were upset it wasn't going well. And Rabastan mentioned something about needing to be creative and not being able to just walk into the Great Hall and use _the killing curse._ "

Professor McGonagll's face was a cool mask, as she listened to what I was saying. Beside me Lily was pale, watching the two of us with wide eyes.

"I don't know exactly what they were talking about, " I added quickly, "but it sounded a lot like they were talking about You-Know-Who, and talking about killing someone here in the castle."

Professor McGonagall looked unconvinced. Her face relazed for a moment and she gave a quick shake of her head.

"I appreciate your commitment by coming to me and telling this," she started offering me a softer look, "and I will pass it along to Professor Dumbledore, but I think it is foolish to worry Ms. Meadowes. It is probable that you just misunderstood what you heard. While in Slytherin house, Mr. Lestrange and Mr. Dolohov are students of Hogwarts and I sincerely doubt either of them would attempt to hurt someone inside it's walls."

I felt my face fall as she brushed off our concerns. As much as I admired Professor McGonagall I thought she was definitely underestimating Rabastan. She didn't know him the way I did. The cruelty that was hidden behind his pretty face, calm demeanor and prefect badge. He was evil. I was sure. And I was pretty sure I didn't misunderstand anything that I had heard.

"Now, you two should head back to the Common Room," Professor McGonagll commanded, "I have things to discuss with Professor Dumbledore and it's very nearly curfew."

"Yes Professor McGonagall," I agreed, and Lily and I headed down the corridor without another word as Professor McGonagall watched us silently. The moment we rounded the corner and made it to the stairs, Lily and I turned to one another.

"She didn't sound very convinced, did she?" Lily asked nervously.

I shook my head. "No she didn't." I let out a low sigh.

"Well at least we told her," Lily said optimistically as the two of us made our way back to the Common Room. "So if anything else happens, she'll know."

It looked like it was taking everything Lily had to put a bright happy spin on it. I admired her for that. Lily had a knack for making people feel better about bad situations.

"And she's going to pass the information onto Professor Dumbledore. If he knows, he can at least keep an eye on the situation, and on Rabastan" I agreed.

As the two of us stopped in front of the Portrait Hole, I can only hope that was true. Sure, there were bigger things to worry about it our world, but I didn't think anyone should underestimate how vile Rabastan Lestrange could be. It was only a matter of time until he did something horrible.

I had no idea just how true that was.


	31. A Fairfeather Friend

Authors Note: I should be better at updating, I KNOW. Sorry ;( I'm working on it. In the meantime Enjoy! And as always I really love reviews. Short, super detailed, complimentary or cruel, I love them all.

31

A Fairfeather Friend

As September changed to October, Fall reared its head on the Hogwarts grounds in spectacular fashion. Appearing quicker than usual, the leaves on the trees changed to beautiful rustic orange colors that left piles of leaves for Hagrid's puppy Fang to leap into all across the grounds and a new, cheek-biting chill whipped through the air that made the morning walks to the Herbology Greenhouses much more of an event than they were before. But like every other year, the autumn season also meant that classes were starting to become much more daunting, with more hours in the library pouring over textbooks. The only bright side was that the curriculum for Sixth Years was much more interesting and entertaining than any other year, and most of us found ourselves actually enjoying the work. It was useful. Especially now. Both Transfiguration and Charms had finally begun to show us incantations that Lily and I had been itching to use since third year, and Professor Sprout was showing us plants in Herbology that could scare grown wizards.

Defense Against the Dark Arts in particular was quickly becoming everyone's favorite class, even the Slytherins (thought they'd probably never admit it). Every other class with Professor Sayre was some sort of inventive practical, and during her lectures she told true stories of Defensive Magic that left every one of us speechless. We hadn't had a single Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson this year that hadn't been both terrifying and completely exciting.

Potions on the other hand, seemed to be a constant source of irritation for every sixth year in the castle. Apart from James Potter, most people seemed to hate their partners and the dungeons were full of more fighting than ever before. Somehow Slughorn had managed to make Potions even more unbearable than it had ever been before. Something, Marlene claimed, seemed impossible.

On one particular chilly Friday afternoon, my friends and I sat in the back of the Transfiguration classroom talking about Marlene's sisters while attempting to master a human transfiguration spell to turn to hands into paws that was so tricky even the Ravenclaws were growing frustrated.

"... and I mean I get it, she's married and all, but why does Melinda only ever talk about him anymore?" Marlene complained in frustration as she pointed her wand at her hand aggressively and tried the spell. Nothing happened and she gave an irritated eye roll. She had spent the better part of the lesson complaining about the letter she got from her sister and how it was dripping with anecdotes and stories about her husband and nothing else and it was clearly weighing on her patience.

"That's how she was at school too," Mary told Marlene. "You remember the way she used to follow Herman Tressler around the Common Room everyday?"

Marlene rolled her eyes at the memory. "Of course I do. It was barmy! Imagine letting a boy be your whole life. I mean no one likes blokes more than I do, but letting them dominate your every thought is crazy..." She tossed her hair over her shoulder and from two tables away, Caradoc Dearborn sighed loudly, watching her with a sort of reverence most people saved for unicorns.

I grinned as I turned to my friend, "Wiser words have never been spoken, McKinnon. I am so proud."

"Thanks for the support, Meadowes," Marlene winked at me and kicked her long legs up on the desk confidently. A haughty smile was pressed upon her face now.

"Though I suppose Melinda's still loads better than Myra," Marlene continued, her face growing colder as she spoke about her middle eldest sister. "Merlin, that girl is driving me mad. Meredith keeps writing me telling me that Myra's trying to get the whole family to have Christmas at Nans this year. Which naturally means a whole production and the infamous Christmas Eve Party full of Purebloods." Marlene's beautiful face turned to an irritated scowl at the thought and Lily stopped attempting the spell long enough to pat her head lovingly.

"Would this be the Christmas Eve party where you locked Carmichael in the wine cellar for four hours without a wand?" I asked her, slightly amused.

Marlene grinned. "That would be the one. What can I say? They're dreadfully boring, and Carmichael makes is so easy," she said giggling slightly maliciously.

"Poor Carmichael," Mary said leaning back in her chair. "It's been weird not having him here in the castle this year. How's he doing, anyway?"

Marlene raised an eyebrow. "Why? Finally decided to move onto a different McKinnon brother have you?" She looked very proud of her joke as Mary rolled her large brown eyes and flicked her quill in the blonde's direction. Marlene only smirked. "What is it that Carmichael's doing now?" Lily interjected, asking Marlene before the two of them could launch into another play fight that would draw McGonagall back to our table.

Marlene stopped attempting to pinch Mary and thought for a moment, frowning. "You know, he told me, but it seemed so dreadfully boring that I didn't pay attention." She shrugged and turned back to Mary.

"You don't know what your own brother does for a living?" I asked, unable to hide my amazed laughter. Mary and Lily both joined in.

Marlene looked slightly sheepish for a moment and Lily chuckled. "Come on, Marlene."

"I mean it's Carmichael!" Marlene rationed, trying to defend herself as we all kept laughing. " Why would I pay that much attention? You know it's something dull like filling out reports for potion flasks or something."

"He could be a treasure hunter for Gringotts and you still probably wouldn't know, would you?" Lily asked, still chuckling as she flicked her wand and mastered the spell. Her delicate hand transformed into a tiny ginger paw effortlessly.

Marlene threw her hands up in the air, looking exasperated. "I have a lot of siblings okay!? I'm sure it's a lot easier to keep track when you've only got the one."

Lily sighed, tracing her fingers over her newly transfigured paw. "You'd be surprised. Petunia hardly tells me anything anymore. If it doesn't have to do with Vernon Dursley, she doesn't talk about it."

"Is that her Fiance?" Mary asked, looking curious. "Have you met him yet?"

Lily's eyes darkened. "Yes, and he's the daftest man in the entire world. Doesn't care about anything unless it's what kind of car someone drives. I swear Professor Binns is more interesting." She sighed, knowing this wasn't an exaggeration. "Doe met him too, when she came for the summer."

"She's right. He's dreadful," I said scrunching my nose. When I met him, I couldn't help but think he was the perfect match for Petunia. They both cared about the same superficial, boring things.

I picked up my wand from the table and tried to do the spell non-verbally, pleased when my left hand sprouted to a grey paw similar to Lily's.

"Aw," I said flexing the furry fingers with fascination, as Mary watched in horror. "It's sort of cute, isn't it?"

"That's disturbing," Marlene said shaking her head at it, as I tried to touch her arm with it. "When are we ever going to need this spell?"

"You never know," Lily said admiring her own. "It could come in handy if you ever want to beat Mrs. Norris at her own game."

"I'll just stick to giving her a good shove down the stairs thanks," Marlene said confidently. She turned to Mary. "Why aren't you trying it, Mcdonald? Don't you and Lily love cats?"

Mary's eyes darkened a bit. "I'm not all that thrilled about making one of my hands turn into anything animal related again," she replied miserably, eyeing the paws with a strange amount of dislike. It took me only a second to realize what she was hinting at.

"Someone hasn't quite gotten over last year's Marauder's Second Christmas prank have they?" I joked, thinking about her hoove.

"You try walking around with a hoof for a hand all day!" Mary chided, shuddering slightly. "I couldn't even hold my wand properly."

She ran her fingers through her fringe, taking care to flex each finger as if it were a precious gift that she wouldn't trade for anything.

"It did look cute when Marlene painted the end of it with nail polish though," Lily reminded her playfully.

"You can paint my claws if you want to reminisce" I said, and waved my silver paw at Mary, who rolled her eyes, unable to hide her smile.

"I hope you both get stuck like that," she told us, flipping open her Transfiguration book with more zeal than necessary.

By the end of the lesson, everyone in the class, apart from Mary, had mostly been able to transfigure their paws and Professor McGonagall spent the last fifteen minutes showing us the counter curse that returned our hands in perfect condition. Except for Xeno Lovegood, whose hand now sported much more blonde hair than it had before, making it look like he was wearing very fine, blonde gloves.

The four of us left the room quickly when the period ended. Professor McGonagall was giving Peter Pettigrew a very stern telling off for not turning in his Transfiguration homework and no one wanted to stick around in case she turned that energy on any of us.

"So did you all hear that Goblin Gang might be having a concert in Britain" Mary suddenly remembered as the four of us skipped down the hall, in a much better mood than Pettigrew.

"Really?" Marlene asked, striding quickly, "It's about time. They've played in America like what, ten times already? It was starting to get ridiculous. Because honestly, who really wants to go to America?"

She playfully elbowed Mary in the shoulder, knowing that she had family in America that she visited frequently. Mary rolled her eyes. "It's really not that bad there you know," she reminded her. " I always have fun when I visit my cousins."

"Still," Marlene scrunched her nose. "MACUSA is always creating crazy rules there for wizards. Did you know that under Rappaport's law, underage witches and wizards couldn't even carry a wand in the summer until eleven years ago? It's barmy!"

Mary, Lily and I had all gone silent as we stopped walking and turned to Marlene mouth agape. Even though Marlene was very smart, she rarely paid much attention to the subjects she didn't care about. And Magical History was definitely one of them. It was so strange to hear her spewing facts like it was nothing.

"What?" Marlene asked, looking slightly confused at the rest of us.

I grinned at her. "Looks like someone paid more attention in History of Magic then she let on," I teased. Lily and Mary smiled.

Marlene simply rolled her eyes, a trace of a smile on her face. "What can I say? I'm passionate about my dislike of our magical friends to the West."

"What about Professor Sayre?" Mary demanded. "You must like her. She's American."

"The only good thing they've given us let me tell you,"

"I think we should all go to the Goblin Gang concert," Lily said brightly, changing the topic before Mary and Marlene started bickering good-naturedly about America."Think about how fun it would be to all go together! Do they know when it'll be yet, Mary?"

I could hardly contain my smile, thinking of how nice it would be to just hang out with my friends and enjoy music.

"It's supposed to be in the Summer I think. I'll have to ask Rylie."

Marlene frowned immediately, turning to me with disappointment. "Would you be able to go then, Doe? If it's in the summer?" Her face fell slightly and her voice filled with the familiar pity I knew so well.

I knew what she was thinking of. What had causes that face. The excuse that had stopped me from doing anything fun with them in the summers for year; the stupid, blasted orphanage.

I was nodding before she even finished her sentence, suddenly filled with a new kind of excitement as I realized it wouldn't be a problem any more.

"I'm going to be seventeen in February," I reminded her, a new pep in my step as we walked. "Which means I'll be of age, and I don't have to go back there anymore."

Realization dawned on all of my friends faces at the same time, and suddenly their smiles were as wide as mine were and Lily was actually jumping up and down in the middle of the corridor, as she clapped and shrieked.

"Oh that's absolutely wonderful, isn't it?" she said, her red hair going everywhere as she bounced. "You can do whatever you like!"

I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped my throat at the sight of her reaction and managed a quick nod.

"You can do magic in the summers too," Marlene realized. "Blimey, that's great. I'm happy for you, Meadowes."

"Me too," I said shaking my head with joy as I realized I'd never have to set foot in that place again. "So plan away, there's no reason we can't go see Goblin Gang."

"Merlin this is so cool," Lily said hooking her arms between mine and Marys. "I knew this year was going to be great, but this is fantastic."

She was still bounding as we headed for the Common Room, smiling wide like a first year. When we passed a group of Ravenclaw fifth years, one in particular, a handsome brown haired boy who looked familiar to me, flashed Lily a long, cheeky smile that made her face go red.

"Did you see that?" Marlene demanded at us, her head spinning around like an owl as we kept walking. "Kellan Broadmoor just winked at you, Lily!"

"He did not," Lily said, looking down at the corridor floor, her cheeks turning a brilliant scarlet. She seemed a bit more nervous then she had been a minute before and was trying very hard to hide it.

"Oh yes he did!" Marlene said firmly, still looking back in the Ravenclaw's direction. "He just checked you out. Blatantly too. Wow, Kellan Broadmoor. You know his brothers play Quidditch right?"

Broadmoor. Now the name clicked in my brain and I realized why Kellan looked so familiar. He played on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, and Otto Bagman was always talking about how talented his family was at Quidditch.

"She's right!" I said quickly. "He plays for the Ravenclaw team. His brothers Karl and Kevin play for the Foulmouth Falcons! I think his parents even own the team too..."

Mary nodded eagerly. "They do. Landon is always going on and on about it. I think he wants to try out. He's talked to Kellan about it. Says he's a nice guy." She said this encouragingly, looking at Lily hopefully as she did. Lily noticed, and kept her eyes trained on the ground again.

"See, Lily? He's handsome and a good Quidditch player," Marlene pressed, skipping on her long legs. "Plus he clearly likes you. You should ask him out."

Lily snorted, still blushing brightly. "I barely know him, Marlene."

"So? Get to know him. On a Hogsmeade date. He's adorable. He'd definitely be a good boyfriend."

"Can we please change the topic?" Lily asked, her cheeks almost as bright red as her hair.

I nodded, sensing how nervous she was. "Of course we can, Lils."

Marlene shook her head at us both. "Don't encourage her, Doe! You're just as bad as she is. Do you realize Prewett is going to have to get down on one knee and propose for you to realize he likes you?"

I scanned the hall to make sure no one could overhear us as my cheeks flushed with color too. "Gideon does not like me," I said quietly, hoping that that wasn't really the truth. Lily threw me a sympathetic look.

"See? That's exactly what I'm talking about!" Marlene demanded, shaking her head in exasperation as we approached the Fat Lady. "I am no longer taking either of your opinions into consideration. I'm going to have to plan out your love lifes for you."

"Something tells me if you're planning it I'll have to carve out a lot more time for broom closets," I chuckled quietly.

Marlene winked at me as she gave the Fat Lady the password, and the four of us crawled into the Common Room. Without a second's notice, Marlene skipped straight over to where the Seventh years were sitting, with Mary trailing at her sides.

I rolled my eyes as she plopped down on the floor right by Krysten Morris and Gideon Prewett, flashing me a cocky look.

Before we could join her, Lily stopped me, catching my arm gently, her face turned into a nervous mask.

"What's up, Lilypad?" I asked quickly, seeing the look on her face. She was just as red as before.

"Doe, do you really think Kellan Broadmoor was looking at me? Or was that just Marlene being Marlene?" she asked quietly, a far gone look etched into her beautiful face. I didn't think I imagined the tiny smile that was forming on the ends of her mouth at the possibility. It was the same look she had when she had liked Amos Diggory, before everything went south.

"It certainly looked like it to me," I told her honestly. "But you know that it doesn't matter right? Marlene is just teasing you. If you like Kellan, go for it. But you don't have to do anything about it if you don't want too."

Lily's eyes sparkled a bit and for a fraction of a second they darted to the right corner of the Common Room, and a tiny frown crossed her face, as her mouth parted. She let out a little sigh. Then she shook her head. "Yeah. You're right. Thanks Doe."

As the two of us walked back to where Marlene and Mary were sitting, I let my gaze drift over to where Lily's eyes had been moments before, and found James Potter sitting amongst his friends smiling and blissfully unaware that the object of his affections had just been watching him for a change.

* * *

 _"Now, Doe. Remind me again, what house is the best house at Hogwarts?" my father asked playfully as he pushed my trolley effortlessly through Platform 9 34, even though it was heavily laden with all of my new Hogwarts things. He was wearing his ministry robes and looked very professional._

 _The scarlet steam engine was billowing smoke in front of us, and the platform was crowded the way it always was on September 1st. I was only eleven, and heading to Hogwarts for the first time. Everything seemed so new to me then. Scary, even. A mixture of fear and excitement coursed through me as I took it all in._

 _"Anyone but Slytherin," I repeated, mirroring the joke he had me tell every day in the weeks leading up to when I left for Hogwarts. It made my father burst into laughter, but I hardly noticed. My eleven year old self was too busy watching the older students in fascination as they brandished their wands and cast spells._

 _"Darien!" My mother chided lightheartedly, "Don't make her her jaded about the houses before she even gets there." She looked beautiful here. Exactly as I remembered her, with a long braid of silvery blonde hair, and a small pronounced baby bump sticking out of her purple Madam Malkin robes._

 _My father grinned. "Spoken like a Slytherin."_

 _My mother rolled her eyes. The ones that matched mine like a set. "If I was speaking like a Slytherin, I'd tell her the only truly good house is Slytherin," she reminded him, watching as my father scrunched up his nose. "If anything, I sound like a Gryffindor."_

 _"Hmm. Gryffindor I can work with," My father decided happily, "Doe, sweetheart. If you simply cannot find it within your heart to be a Ravenclaw. I will be more than thrilled with Gryffindor."_

 _"Sure thing, Dad," I said quietly, still watching the fifth year Hufflepuff girl in front of me transfigure her bag into a small white ferret._

 _"Remember the first time you ever saw something that amazed you like that?" My mother asked, watching me recreate the girl's wand motion with my own._

 _"The moment I saw you for the first time," my father answered, and my mother shook her head, a wide smile plastered on her face as she traced her stomach. I turned away from the older Hogwarts students and immediately reached for her hand, my mouth twisted into a small pout._

 _My mother looked down at me with confusion. "What's wrong, my darling?"_

 _I turned back to her, my face so fresh and young it was hard to believe it was only five years ago. "I'm scared, mum," I whispered quietly, watching the older students pass by with apprehension. "What if I don't like it there?"_

 _My mother gave me a soft smile and bent down to face me. "Can I let you in on a little secret, Doe?" she asked me, tucking some of my blonde hair behind my ear. I gave a tiny nod._

 _"Nobody hates Hogwarts," she promised me. "It really doesn't matter what house you end up in or how nervous you are, Sugar Quill. It'll be some of the best years of your life. It's the place you'll learn how to do magic, and where you'll make lifelong friends."_

 _"But what if I miss you too much?" I pressed, pulling on the sleeve of my new Hogwarts robes. They looked much too big for my small frame._

 _"You won't," My mother assured me, reaching out to stroke my cheek. "And if you do, write us. Your dad and I would love to hear about everything you're doing, won't we?" She looked up to my father, who smiled and bent down beside her._

 _"Of course," he nodded, "I want to hear about every class, and of course every Quidditch match." He tapped the collar of his robes where a silver Puddlemore United pin hung dutifully. It made me smile._

 _"But what about the baby?" I asked, looking down at the bump in my mother's robes. She smiled again and reached out to touch it._

 _"He won't even be born until January, honey. That's months away. You'll meet the baby when you're home for Easter,"_

 _I sighed quietly and nodded. "Okay."_

 _A high-pitched whistle emanated from the steam engine in front of us signaling it was time to board the train and I bit my lip nervously._

 _"Don't worry, Doe," my mother said comfortingly, in her familiar, sweet tone. "You're going to be brilliant."_

 _My father nodded in agreement. "You'll have a smashing time, but you better go before they leave without you. Hogwarts needs you there, Doe. Who else will show them how talented the Meadowes are?"_

 _I gave a tiny eleven-year old eye roll, though the smile never left my face."Bye Mum, Bye Dad. Love you!"_

 _They both took turns placing a kiss on my forehead, and then I placed a tiny hand on my mom's stomach. "Bye, baby brother" I whispered and then they urged me forward._

 _I scampered onto the train behind another small girl with dark red hair, freckles and bright green eyes, and turned to look one more time at both of my parents, standing together and waving happily at me._

The dream ended immediately with a brilliant flash of green light that had not been there in the original memory, and jolted me awake in seconds.

I could hardly breathe, and had to grip the pillow beside me to keep from screaming out. My eyes searched the room in front of me frantically, doing their best to catch up with my mind and remind myself that I was not eleven. Not on Platform 9 . I was sixteen, safely in my dormitory at Hogwarts. Hot tears leaked from the corners of my eyes as I tried to wipe them silently.

Alice and Rylies beds were empty, and my friends were all quietly snoozing beside me, ignoring the quiet rain spattered against the windows beside them. The sound of it had probably drowned out any thrashing I was making moments ago and for that I was grateful. I didn't need them waking up to see me having another nightmare. I didn't want to be poor, orphaned Doe Meadowes today. Their pitiable dorm mate.. I just wanted a minute alone to grieve in peace.

For a moment, I sat up clutching my knees trying to calm my breathing. It took me a second to realize what I had been seeing minutes ago. The memory of my first trip to Platform 9 was deeply buried in my brain. It had only been five years ago but it felt like a lifetime. It wasn't something I liked thinking about. That had been the last time I had ever seen my parents alive. It was a bittersweet memory, that left a deep thick lodging in my throat whenever I thought of it.

Seeing it play out like that in front of me all over again felt like someone reaching into my chest and ripping my heart out. It was so vivid. So much more vivid than I remembered it being. There had been so much hope in that memory. We had all been excited.

I was supposed to see them at Christmas. I was supposed to meet my new baby brother by Easter. And neither of those things had happened. The closest I had come to seeing my family for the holidays was their double funeral in December. A memory that made my entire body shake furiously.

I decided I couldn't sleep anymore. I didn't want to risk seeing anything like that again, so I crawled out of bed and decided to quietly get ready for the day. I crept around the dormitory on my tiptoes careful not to wake up my friends. It was a Saturday and most of them probably wanted to sleep in.

I quietly slipped on a snug pair of jeans and searched my trunk for a comfortable sweater. My fingers stopped when they found an oversized, cable knit one. It was a dark woodsy green. I held it carefully in my hands trying not to cry again. It had been my fathers. One of the few things I had taken from the house after they died. With shaky fingers, I pressed it to my face. If I sniffed it deep enough, it still smelled like him; faintly of woods, freshly cut scrolls and dirt.

After a minute, I slipped the sweater on over my head without another thought and headed down to the Common Room. It was empty right now, that strange time of morning where it was still early enough that everyone was either just arriving to breakfast or sleeping peacefully. I was still a little distracted from the nightmare this morning and my head was spinning as images from it kept playing over and over. With a deep sigh, I leaned my head back against the stone wall.

"Oi, Meadowes. You alright?"

I heard Sirius' familiar voice before I saw it. He was in the door frame of the boy's staircase, yawning as he shrugged a sweater on over his large chest, watching me with a strange look. I felt a blush creep over my cheeks as I lifted my head back up. I hadn't seen him standing there, and wondered how long he'd been watching me. My grief wasn't something I usually liked to put on display for anyone to see. Even if we were friends.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked half-heartedly, trying to force a smile on my face that didn't quite reach my eyes.

Sirius raised an eyebrow as he crossed the room on his long legs, stopping when he was right beside me. "Maybe because you look like you're considering tossing yourself off the Astronomy tower," he said knowingly.

"Before our first Quidditch game?" I joked, "James would find a spell to reawaken the dead just to kill me himself."

"You're not wrong," Sirius said, grinning. "I've seen that bloke perform wonders when Quidditch is on the line, but come on, stop trying to distract me with things I like, what's wrong?"

I swayed back and forth on my legs, trying to avoid the question. He rolled his eyes. "You can evade all you like, but I'll still get it out of you, Meadowes. I've been told I'm annoyingly persistent."

"Yeah, by everyone you've ever shagged, I'm sure," I grinned, feeling better for the first time all morning.

"See? Now there's the Meadowes I know and love. So, tell me. What's wrong?"

I let out a deep sigh, knowing that Sirius was right. There was no way he was going to relent. Not when he wanted something. It momentarily made me pity the rest of the Marauders for having to live with him.

"I just had a nightmare, Sirius," I told him, crossing my arms, still covered in my father's sweater. "And it freaked me out a little. I'm fine now."

"Was it about life without me?" Sirius asked, placing his hand on the stone wall above me, and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"If it had been, I'd probably look less sad right now," I chuckled quietly.

Sirius' grin fell from his face, and was replaced with a very ridiculous frown. "That's hurtful, Meadowes. You can't wound me like that. I have low self-esteem."

A quick laugh escaped my lips. "You do not have low self-esteem, Sirius. If anything you have a surplus. You're practically hoarding it."

"No I don't. But you also don't want to have life without me. I thought we were playing the lying game" he grinned, poking me playfully in the ribs. I rolled my eyes and Sirius' smile widened.

"Are you going to tell me what it was really about or will I have to keep annoying you all morning?" he pressed, raising an eyebrow. "Because I'm prepared to do it you know. I have loads of time."

I let out another sigh as I realized that with Sirius, it was very hard to avoid anything. He had a way of dragging these things out of me.

"It was about my parents," I told him quickly. "Just a memory. The last time I saw them both alive. It just freaked me out a little. It's upsetting to think about."

Sirius' face fell. "Merlin, Meadowes, I didn't realize." He shook his head, and scanned my face for a minute. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "It's been a long time. Sometimes it just sneaks up on me when I'm not expecting it."

"Still, I'm sorry," Sirius said, frowning slightly. "I wish I could be more sympathetic, but I can't imagine what it's like to actually miss your parents." He shuddered, but it actually made me smile.

"To be fair, dead parents might not be the worst thing in the world if I had Walburga and Orion," I offered.

Sirius burst into booming laughter that shook his entire body. "You know what. Meadowes? With a sense of humor like that, I reckon you'll be alright after some waffles," He slung a lazy arm over my shoulder and the two of us headed out of the Common Room and towards the Great Hall, walking past crowds of people as we did. Sirius was walking briskly but let out a loud yawn that almost shook the walls of the corridors. He then took to looking at me again, a confused look on his face.

"Do you always dream in memories then ?" Sirius asked abruptly. He looked as if this might be worrisome for some reason. His face had changed slightly as we walked and he was focused so intently on my face he almost barreled into Professor Dumbledore, who had moved at the last moment.

I shook my head, perking up the longer I was away from the dormitory and closer to the prospect of breakfast. "Most of the time, but not always" I answered truthfully, thinking of the frequent nights I spent tossing and turning in my bed, haunted by both the good and terrible memories of my life. "Why, don't you?"

Sirius stifled a laugh. A cocky smile flashed across his face as he shook his head. "Nope. I hate to break this to you, Meadowes, especially not in your fragile state and all, but most people don't dream in memories. The rest of us are a bit more creative than that."

"Huh." The thought had never occurred to me before this. I always dreamed in memories. It was really rare for me to have a dream full of things I invented. I had always assumed that was normal. I shrugged. "I guess I really am barmy then. Shame."

"I didn't need to talk about your dreams to know that," Sirius whispered cheekily, "I knew that the momentI met you." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"So where are the rest of your Marauders this morning?" I asked, blatantly ignoring his jibe and look of delight.

"Oh, those gits left too early this morning," Sirius said, stifling another yawn. "I have a firm policy that I don't get up before the sun unless shagging, Quidditch or presents are involved."

One of the passing Hufflepuff girls eyes widened in delight as she heard Sirius' comment, and Sirius flashed her a cheeky smile, looking delighted.

"Dragon Dung," I said shaking my head firmly. "You're telling me you wouldn't happily jump out of bed at three in the morning to leave a load of dung bombs in the Slytherin's common room?"

Sirius stopped right in front of the open doors to the Great Hall and slowly looked me over for a moment, a wide grin forming as he did. "Come on, Meadowes," he in a slow, sultry tone. "That goes without saying. That's Marauder business. I'm disappointed that you don't realize, that's assumed."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I declared sarcastically as we made our way to the bustling Gryffindor table, and found a spot across from the rest of his foursome."How could I have underestimated the importance of Marauder Business?"

The Gryffindor table was particularly loud today, it seemed as if something at the end of the table, near the Seventh years was causing some sort of stirring, but I was too hungry to care much what it was. I plopped happily in my seat, reaching immediately for a triangle of toast and covering it in a hearty helping of fig jam.

Sirius seemed to be like minded, covering his plate in breakfast sausages, eggs and a stack of waffles that seemed to stretch upwards toward the sky-patterned ceiling. Across the table, James, Remus and Peter stopped their whispered conversation and raised their eyebrows at him.

"Nice of you to finally join us, Padfoot," James said, smirking slightly. "Get lost, did you?"

Beside him, Peter seemed to be buttering slices of toast for Sirius, and lovingly placing them on his plate as James waited for an answer. The sight of it almost made me snort into my Pumpkin Juice. I knew Peter admired James and Sirius, but that was a bit much wasn't it? Remus caught me watching Peter's actions and gave me a knowing smile.

"Sorry, Prongs," Sirius said, talking through a mouth full of eggs. "I was providing Meadowes with some much needed comfort."

"Oh yeah?" James asked, turning to me with raised eyebrows, his mind clearly turning to more scandalous scenarios. "Doe, I'm shocked and disappointed. You can do so much better."

Sirius and James exchanged a quick look between the two of them as I rolled my eyes and poured myself some Pumpkin Juice. "Get you mind out of the gutter, Potter."

Sirius snorted. "Honestly, Prongs. Had we been doing what you're thinking, I guarantee we wouldn't have made it down in time for waffles." I choked on my sip of pumpkin juice and he sniggered, before he continued talking. "Actually, I was being a good mate. Providing emotional comfort."

James snickered. "Is that what we're calling it now? Because Merlin I'd love to emotionally comfort Evans any day of the week."

Sirius let out a chorus of laughter at James words, and Remus shook his head disapprovingly, looking like it pained him to participate in the conversation.

"Let me know how that works out for you, James," I chuckled, thinking of James trying to comfort Lily after anything even slightly resembling a nightmare, and how badly that would go.

"Wait, what are we talking about?" Peter asked daftly, staring back from Sirius and I to James, missing out on his mates innuendo.

I turned back to my breakfast, shaking my head as Remus sighed into his Pumpkin Juice. "Don't worry about it Wormtail," he said evenly. "James and Sirius were just being inappropriate."

"What's new, right?" Sirius asked cheekily, nodding in my direction. I rolled my eyes and glanced back over to the Seventh Years were again as I heard another hoot of appreciation. Their conversation was starting to get even louder than before.

"Do you know what's going on over there?" I asked, as Sirius half leaned over me look past Landon McKinnon's large blonde head to where the laughter and chatter was coming from.

I could just make out the shape of Fabain Prewett behind him, and caught Krysten Morris whispering something excitedly into Nora Tenenbaum's waiting ear. Alice and Rylie, who were both sat between the Seventh Years and Remus seemed to be blatantly eavesdropping on whatever it was.

"Oh, that," James smiled widely, cutting into the food in front of him cockily. "It seems our dear friend Sturgis Podmore was caught this morning taking a potion to...er... enhance his performance." James looked highly amused, chuckling to himself as Peter shuddered violently and Remus coughed into his hand, turning pink.

"You don't mean…?" I trailed off, my jaw hung open in disbelief. I felt the slight creep of pink cover my cheeks as I blushed, embarrassed for Sturgis. "Merlin."

Sirius chuckled deeply. "I think that's exactly what he means, Meadowes." He turned back to James looking very amused. "So what happened?"

James grinned. "Well I heard that the thing swelled so much he had to go to Madam Pompfrey before it fell off. Marjorie Waspburn was in there crying about it, and then Madam Pompfrey and Professor McGonagall had to send him off to St. Mungos for Spell Damage."

Sirius, Remus and Peter all shuddered violently. "Poor bloke," Sirius whistled quietly.

I was sure I was blushing so much now that my entire face had gone pink from embarrassment. Across the table Remus looked the same.

"Can we talk about anything else, please?" Remus begged politely, clutching his fork very methodically as he avoiding the others eyes. "Doe is going to think were heathens."

Sirius and James both looked very pleased with themselves and Peter had taken to giggling uncontrollably. I tried to control the blush on my face as they did, desperately wishing my friends were here. I was used to talk like this. You had to be to be friends with Sirius, but breakfast with all of the Marauders was sometimes more than I can handle alone. Especially with a topic of conversation like this.

"Don't worry, It's nothing worse than what these two say on the pitch," I told him, pointing my fork in James and Sirius' direction. "I already know how foul they are. If you only heard the way they throw around the word broomstick..." I shuddered and both James and Sirius burst into hysterics.

"Still," Remus pressed, "Can't we talk about anything else?"

"We could always discuss my undying love for Evans," James suggested looking up behind Sirius and I. "That's my favorite topic of conversation."

I heard a tiny grunt of annoyance and I turned around to find Lily approaching the house table behind me. She, Mary and Marlene had turned up at the precise moment James had begun to speak.

"Oh, sod off Potter," she said rolling her eyes as she took the seat beside me, not looking even slightly in his direction.

"But how can I?" James demanded dramatically, resting his hands under his chin as he looked at her. "When a heavenly creature like you sits before me? I'm only human, Evans." He rested his hand delicately over his heart and both Sirius and Peter snickered quietly.

"Ugh," Marlene complained shaking her head at James. "You sound like Caradoc."

"She's right, Potter. It's way too early for that kind of sucking up," Lily told him sternly. "You sound like the giant squid."

"I resent that accusation," James said, messing up his inky, black hair. "I'm loads better looking than the Giant Squid."

"Only in your dreams," Lily said flatly, making James frown and turn back to his breakfast without another word. Though he did stab his waffle particularly ferociously. Pleased that she had finally got him to leave her alone, Lily turned to me.

"You left the dorm pretty early this morning," Lily observed quietly, watching me carefully. "Everything okay?"

From the worried tone of her voice, I knew that she already knew what had happened this morning. After living with me for five years, it was getting harder and harder to hide the nightmares that plagued me so often. I bit my bottom lip, nodding. "Course."

From across the table, Marlene and Mary were both pretending not to watch me as they ate. Did they all know? I sighed, hoping I hadn't been crying or something in my sleep. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about it again. I already couldn't shake it from my brain.

I flashed her a wide smile. "Everything is fine, Lils. I just couldn't take anymore of this one's snoring." I nodded smiling playfully at Marlene, whose loud snoring had been well documented over our years of sharing a room.

"I do not snore that loudly," Marlene pouted, crossing her arms dramatically.

"Right and I'm blonde and leggy," Mary joked quietly. Marlene narrowed her eyes at her and shook her hair confidently. "Oh who cares if I do? No one's else has ever complained before."

"That;s because you are blonde and leggy," I reminded her, "Let me assure you, you still snore like a niffler with a throat cold." Marlene playfully flicked a piece of waffle at me.

Lily still looked a little unconvinced, watching me out of the corner of her eyes. It was only out of concern, but I really didn't want to get into again. I hoped she just dropped it. Across the table, I noticed Sirius watching the two of us evenly, and when he caught me eye he offered me a small smile. It was strange to me that out of all the people sitting at the table, he was the only one I planned on telling what I had really seen this morning. That I trusted him enough. Six months ago, that would have been inconceivable. It was still strange to think about. That Sirius was that important a part of my life now.

"So what are you thinking about doing today?" Marlene asked the three of us aloud, puffing out her chest as she did. "I wish it wasn't so blasted cold outside, I'd love to sit by the lake…"

Before any of us could answer her, a horde of Owls entered the room, gliding through the air as they delivered the post and dropped presents in the waiting arms of students.

A flock of snowy owls hovered over our table, dropping rolled up copies of the daily prophet into the laps of those students who subscribed. The owl who delivered mine was so old, the poor devil almost fell straight into a flagon of Pumpkin Juice as the scroll landed in my hands.

"Poor thing," Lily said, stroking its wings and feeding it bits of toast as Marlene and I unrolled the copy of the Prophet together. The bird seemed to like her, hooting appreciatively as it regained its strength. James was watching her absentmindedly, a strange dreamlike look etched into his face as he did. His honest longing for my best friend was so clear that I almost didn't want to look. It felt like I had stumbled into something very private of James', even if it was right in front of me at the House table. Perhaps Lily was too harsh with him. He really did seem to adore her...

"Merlin's beard," Sirius swore loudly at the front page of his prophet, snapping me right out of my thoughts about Lily and James. "And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse."

Sirius' laments weren't the only sound that filled the room. All across the Great Hall people were gasping and whispering in fear. All of them buried in today's copy of the prophet. It was the same reaction that always happened when something terrible was in the paper. My fingers were trembling as I unfurled my own copy.

"Oh no," Lily whispered, her face now white with fear. "What's happened now?"

I read the headline aloud to her, my voice cracking as I did. "Deidra Hemley, Muggleborn Wife of Pureblood Quidditch Star, Marvin Hemley found murdered in central London," I stammered, my tongue suddenly feeling too heavy for mouth.

All around the hall, every one was completely absorbed by the prophet, buried in the article or whispering from behind it.

Marlene sighed, shaking her head as she looked off in the opposite direction. The Marauders were all crowded together, reading the article in absolute silence.

Mary said nothing, and Lily let her eyes drift closed for a moment as she took a very deep, serious breath. "Merlin," she swore quietly.

My eyes ripped across the article in front of me. Marvin Hemley was a chaser for the Wilbourne Wasps and his wife had been a Muggleborn witch. After a particularly lengthy interview he had given to Witch Weekly, detailing how he supported people of different blood status' marrying, they pair had been targeted by Death Eaters, and his wife had been murdered.

Reading it felt like being kicked in the stomach. It was the same kind of bigoted violence and blood status rhetoric that You-Know-Who was trying to popularize. The kind of things Slytherins did and said. I could hardly stop my hands from shaking.

"It's absolutely heinous," I said firmly, my voice was barely above a whisper. "How can people do this?" I had to drop the newspaper on the table. Even holding it felt like carrying a wand that was about to explode.

"It's simple, they're weak," Sirius answered quickly, his own mouth pulled into a tight line as he eyed the Newspaper with as much vehement hatred as I did. If anything, he looked even more upset. "Not brave enough to stand up to what's wrong. Good people, strong people, they don't commit acts like this."

Remus ran a scarred hand over his face and sighed deeply, beside him Peter was silent. His wide, red face was oddly blank.

" And they don't follow the people who do," James added. "It doesn't matter if they're casting the spell or calling the order, any one who thinks like this is scum."

Lily didn't say anything, but she looked up at James with much more admiration than she had earlier. He noticed, but didn't gloat about it. He just offered her a small smile, before he turned back to Sirius and I.

Marlene turned back to the article, reading slower than the rest of us. Mary was avoiding it, staring off towards the Ravenclaw table, the way she always did when we discussed You-Know-Who or the approaching war.

"She was only twenty three," Lily said wistfully, looking at the Hemley's wedding photo and the accompanying caption. "It says she was a dragon trainer too. Can you imagine? She had her entire life ahead of her." Lily's hand stretched out on the table, and James hesitated for a moment before he gave it a comforting pat. Lily watched with wide eyes but didn't stop him.

Across the hall, everyone was talking about Marvin Hemley and his wife. The entire room was filled with the whispers of grief and horror, except for the Slytherin tables. They all looked proud.

I covered my face with my hands. "Do you realize how bad this is getting?" I asked my friends, my voice rising uncomfortably. "If this keeps going it's going to be a war. A real war."

Sirius met my eyes carefully. "Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing," he said evenly. "It's better that everyone has to choose a side, rather than sit around and let it happen."

"But a war means death, Sirius," I reminded him. "Lots of it."

"So long as it's not on our side."

James shook his head. "Trust me, Padfoot. You don't want a war. We should all hope that this gets resolved sooner rather than later. I mean if we have to fight, I will. But it's a lot easier if we find ways for the ministry to solve it first."

"Right," Marlene snorted "Because they're doing such a good job of it now? This is what, the third death that's been on the front of the prophet this month?"

"Fourth I'd reckon," Peter muttered solemnly, a far gone look on his plump face.

"Exactly," Marlene added, her voice growing stronger now. "The ministry isn't doing enough to act on this. We either need new people in there or a new system. It's like they're waiting for an all out war to break out before they step in."

"Why aren't they doing anything?" Lily asked. "You-Know Who is out there having rallies and killing people."

"Easy," Remus rationalized. "They're afraid. Of Him. Of what he can do. That and I suspect some of them agree with him. The ministry is full of Purebloods who like the superior treatment that You-Know-Who is promising."

Lily crossed her tiny arms in front of her and let out a tiny little whimper that drew James' eyes to her immediately, offering her a sympathetic look. One she surprisingly returned.

"What I don't get is why anyone cares who any one else marries," James said firmly, his eyes still locked on my best friend.

"Even if these Elitist Purebloods believe their Merlin's gift to the wizards god world, why does it bother them who the rest of marry? Half-bloods, Muggle-Borns, Muggles. So what? No one's asking them to do it."

It was clear from the way he looked at Lily when he said it that James whole-heartedly believed everything he was saying. He came from one of the oldest and richest Pureblood families in the Wizarding World, and the girl he loved most was a muggle-born. Lily's cheeks turned a little pink and she said nothing.

"Here. Here!" Sirius agreed, through a mouthful of waffle. "I won't marry a Pureblood if I can help it. It might kill my mother though. Then again, two owls one stone am I right?"

I shook my head, slightly amazed that he could lighten any mood no matter how dark, and Mary grinned.

"If only more people thought like you and less like them," she said reaching for her goblet and pointing at the article.

"Well," a tiny voice popped up from our left. "I mean they do have a point."

My head spun around so quickly at the sound of the words, it was like I was an owl and I wasn't alone. Every single person in the vicinity of our conversation turned to the voice that had spoken and found Rylie, looking a little haughty with her lips tightly pursed.

"Excuse me?" Marlene demanded, her tone very icy as she stared at our dorm mate with wonder. "What exactly do you mean by that, Rylie?"

Marlene wasn't too fond of Rylie on a good day, but now she was staring at her like she'd like to rip her head off and I couldn't blame her.

Rylie looked a little uncomfortable now with all eight of our gazes, and the surrounding seventh years trained on her.

She fidgeted with her hair as she spoke. "What I meant is that, technically speaking, everything would be a lot better if everyone who was a witch or wizard married a witch or wizard. Or at least within their blood-status."

All across the table, jaws were dropping at an alarming rate. Lily looked stunned and Mary was white with shock. Remus had gasped quietly. I could feel my blood boiling at her words.

"Rylie!" Alice hissed beside her, looking horrified at her friend. She turned a bright shade of pink and she locked eyes with Frank Longbottom, who looked equally horrified.

"What?" Rylie demanded frantically, throwing her hands down on the house table, "It's true! It would make everything easier." Several people around her rolled their eyes or scowled in her direction.

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. Never once in five years of living with Rylie did I suspect that she was bigoted. Sure, she could be a bit daft but prejudiced? That was something I had never expected, and it made me even more furious.

"And why is that?" I asked her icily, my upper lip curling with anger in anticipation. All around us the hall was starting to get quieter, as more people that noticed the building tension at our table. Gryffindors rarely argued among themselves.

Rylie was fidgeting now, under all the watchful eyes, and seemingly very aware that all conversations among the fifth, sixth and seventh year Gryffindors had ceased so they could listen to what she was about to say.

"Well we wouldn't have problems like this, would we?" She said pointing at the article on the cover of the prophet. "There'd be no reason to anger the Death Eaters. Because to an extent I sort of see their point. Why make things harder on yourself? Just be with someone more like you."

Several people, myself and the Marauders included groaned in disgust, and Rylie seemed to turn desperate. Mary and Lily were still quiet. Marlene looked venomous and took out her wand.

I glared at her. "That's disgusting," My eyes drifting back to my plate not wanting to even look in her direction for too long.

"It's Dragon Dung, is what it is" Sirius pressed, looking furious with Rylie, his beautiful face was screwed up in anger.

"So because my opinion is different, you don't want to hear it?" Rylie asked, crossing her arms in frustration. She was met with more answering scowls.

"You can't be serious," Otto Bagman demanded, shushing Krysten Morris so he and the other seventh years could join the conversation. "You have to know that's barmy, Fawcett."

It was a tribute to how furious Sirius was that he didn't crack a single joke when Otto used his name. He and James were too busy staring at Rylie like she was a bug they'd like to squash. James only looked away from her to flash sympathetic looks at Lily. "You're not honestly insinuating people should let blood-status, determine who they care about, are you?" Gideon demanded, his eyebrows furrowed in disgust. When Rylie said nothing, his gaze drifted past her for a moment and locked eyes on me. Only for a second before he turned back to her.

"I mean, come on now," Landon added very loudly. "What about Mary and I, huh? Think we shouldn't be together?" Mary flashed Landon a wide smile, the only thing she'd expressed since this conversation started.

"Well...I...uh…" Rylie stammered nervously.

"Since when do you hate Muggleborns?" Marlene demanded of her, her voice rising confidently the way only Marlene's could. She could be so intimidating when she wanted to be. "You of all people should know how stupid this is. I mean you live with Lily and Mary. You know how talented they are."

Rylie looked panicked now, seeing how unwelcome her opinion was among the rest of the house. She held her hands up quickly.

"I don't _hate_ Muggleborns." She said quickly throwing a quick look at Mary and Lily, who were statues of fury. She wasn't going to get any sympathy from them. Or any of us for that matter. All of Gryffindor was looking at Rylie like she had three heads.

"Oh very convincing," Mary snapped bitterly. Her lip twitched in her dormmate's direction. Rylie sighed.

"I just meant that if no one married outside of their blood-status then Pureblood lines could stay pure," Rylie sputtered quickly, her resolve faltering. "And they wouldn't have children-"

"Like me?" I asked her, all the niceties of my tone gone. "Or did you forget that my parents were of different blood status, Rylie?"

From beside me, Sirius flashed me a proud look and Marlene turned back to Rylie with a haughty expression, one of her golden eyebrows raised in a challenge.

Now Rylie looked a little less panicked. Her face evened out for a minute and then she almost looked calm. "But you're only proving my point, Doe," she said evenly, "Look what happened to them. If they had married people of the same blood-status then they wouldn't have died-"

"I wouldn't exist either, Rylie," I snapped, my eyes turning to slits as I looked at her.

I had never been that furious with her before. Rylie and I had never been best friends or anything but I didn't think she was capable of saying things like this. That she was capable of thinking like this. Like a Death Eater. Beside her, Alice looked absolutely miserable and kept throwing furious glares at her best friend.

"That's a disgusting thing to say, Rylie," Lily whispered shaking her head. "You should be ashamed. You've now offended every single person you live with."

"I wasn't trying to offend her," Rylie said casting a look at me that wasn't very forgiving. "It just proves what I'm saying."

"Please refrain from using my parent's death as an example to support you're bigotry" I said evenly getting up from the table swiftly, before I said or did something I'd regret. I had another two years of living with Rylie and didn't want to make it any harder than I had too.

"I didn't mean!-" Rylie started but Sirius cut her off.

"Honestly. I think you've already said enough," he said quietly, looking much more reserved than Sirius usually was in these situations.

I got up from the table and walked out of the room as Rylie started speaking again, only hearing Marlene threaten to shove her wand somewhere the sun didn't shine before I rounded the corner into the Entrance Hall, my heart thudding in my chest.

I could hardly contain the anger and fear that was coursing through me as I paced outside of the Great Hall. If Rylie, Rylie, my own dorm mate could think like this then who else was? Was this how You-Know-Who was staying so strong and gaining more support? Where there tons of people inside of this castle who agreed with him and were keeping quiet about it. The thought made my knees go weak.

And of course she had to bring up my parents, which could send me into fits of grief on a good day. After the dream I'd had this morning it was enough to make nauseous. It was people like Rylie who made it okay for Aubleus to do what he did. People like her and the stigma of inter-blooded couples killed them just as much as he did. I leaned back against the stone wall of the hall and stared at my shoes for a minute, trying to take a deep breath so I didn't jinx Rylie the moment I walked back into the Great Hall.

"Doe?"

I turned quickly, my hair spinning out behind me as I did, to find Gideon Prewett behind me. He looked hesitant, standing at the apex of the corner with his hands in the pocket of his brown leather jacket. He was looking at me as if he was unsure whether he could approach me.

I forced myself to offer him a wide smile, that didn't quite match how I felt on the inside. I was always excited to see Gideon, but I could still feel the heat of my anger at Rylie pounding through my chest.

"Hey, Gideon,"" I managed, trying to widen my smile without looking delusional. The longer I looked at him the less angry I started to feel.

Gideon looked calmer now too and walked closer, so that he was only a few feet away. He was so tall that he towered over me. For a second Gideon was absolutely silent, just leaning against the stone wall beside me. After a minute he looked up and frowned slightly.

"Can you believe what Rylie was saying in there?" He asked and shook his head in disbelief. "I swear I thought I was hearing things. I mean what decent person can say things like that….." he trailed off, and stared back at the Great Hall doors with a quixotic look on his handsome face. There was something very comforting about Gideon's expression. Something I couldn't quite figure out. Or why the longer I looked at it, the less tense I became.

I gave him a grave nod. "I guess it just goes to show you that you never really know who you live with huh?"

Gideon offered me a sympathetic look. "She shouldn't have said those things about your parents, either. It crossed a line. Are you alright?"

I wanted to lie. To nod and tell him that I was fine. But there was something about the way he was looking at me now, his handsome, honest face watching me closely that told me he would know if I did.

"I will be," I told him carefully. "If I fell apart every time someone said something rude I wouldn't get anything done. And then how would I get more N.E.W.T.s then the Ravenclaws?"

We both chuckled quietly and Gideon's smile brightened, his dimples widening as he did.

"And a true tragedy that would be."

"McGonagall would probably kick me out of Gryffindor."

Gideon snorted. "Please. No one's stupid enough to kick you out of Gryffindor. You belong there. I swear I've never seen a faster sorting than yours. The sorting hat barely touched your head before it was shouting for Gryffindor. Even Nearly Headless Nick was impressed."

"Right," I snorted, feeling better by the minute. "As if you actually remember that."

He looked downward for a moment, scanning my face with a confident smile, ignoring the snort I made at his words. But despite how funny I found the whole thing, a heavy heat was flooding through me as he looked at me. Could he actually remember my sorting? It was years ago. He didn't even know me then. There was no way...

"I remember it like it was yesterday," Gideon said confidently, his eyes trained on the wall ahead of him. "You're not the kind of person people forget, Doe."

Now I definitely couldn't move. A strange combination of nerves and excitement kept me frozen in place and unable to speak. My mouth was hung open slightly in surprise. There was something about the way that Gideon had said that, and the way he was watching me now.

Could Marlene be right? Could Gideon like me? My heart started racing at the possibility. But then I remembered Emmeline Vance and her long legs and the way Gideon had looked at her too. Maybe I was reading too much into this. Gideon was just being nice. We were friends sort of. That's what friends do.

Something flooded quickly across Gideon's face for a second and the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile.

"Listen," he said quickly, nervously picking at a string on the end of his jumper. "I know you're going to be fine. But is there any chance you'd like me a pick-me-up anyway? I was about to head to Hagrid's to do something that's sort of a once in a lifetime sight, and I wanted to know if you'd join me?"

I tried to control my face as I let the offer wash over me. Gideon Prewett was inviting me to join him somehwere. Sure it was Hagrids. But still. He wanted me to come with him and that thought made my heart race a bit.

"A once in a lifetime sight?" I asked him, carefully raising one eyebrow. "How am I supposed to say no to that?"

Gideon grinned and tucked a bit of his hair behind his ear. "That's sort of the point, Doe. I knew I'd have to come up with something really good if I wanted to get the best dueler in the year to join me." He winked.

I tried to ignore the flutter in my chest that happened as he smiled at me, and was having an enormous amount of difficulty.

"I'm really hoping my dueling skills won't be needed on this adventure," I said tucking my wand back into the pocket of my jeans, my mind racing with excitement. "Or I might have to reconsider."

Gideon's dimples became more pronounced as he raised an eyebrow. "You never know," he smiled playfully, watching me with a good-natured smile. "Anyway, I'm really glad you're coming, Doe This is going to be amazing. You won't be sorry. Trust me."

Gideon waited a second for my strides to catch up with his and then the two of us walked towards the Castle exit together. I was so stunned by the situation that I didn't notice the shape of Sirius Black watching us from the entrance to the Great Hall.

A few minutes ago, the only thing I could focus on was how absolutely furious I was with Rylie, and now the idea of going anywhere with Gideon was proving to be the perfect distraction. I could hardly believe my luck.

"So do I get to know what it is that I'm about to see?" I asked Gideon as the two of us pushed open the door and headed into the frigid air. It was unseasonably cold for fall and there was still a light drizzling of rain from this morning's storm.

Gideon smirked as we walked. "You don't like surprises do you?" He asked with a smile. He looked highly amused by the immediate look of concern that crossed my face.

"I like good surprises," I reasoned, "So as long as you're not going to lock me in the Greenhouses with the Devil's Snare I'm sure I'll like it."

"Dammit, I'll have to think of something else then."

The air was so nippy it felt like it was biting at my cheeks as we trudged down the wet grassy hills towards Hargid's, the thin rain drops dampening our hair and sweaters as we walked. I barely noticed. My body felt warm with nerves as I walked.

"I saw your tryout," Gideon said abruptly, as we skipped over a large puddle. "It was exciting to watch. You flew really well. I was impressed."

"Thanks! I saw you there too" I gushed, grateful to talk about Quidditch. If my love of anything could keep me from exploding into a puddle of nerves, it was definitley Quidditch.

"Fabian pointed you out, you know" I continued as the two of headed closer to Hagrid's hut, passing the oversized Pumpkin patch, "At he tryout."

"Did he?" Gideon asked curiously, raising one of his orange eyebrows.

I felt a rush of nerves as I nodded. "He said you didn't often come to tryouts. Well actually he said you'd never been to one of his."

Gideon turned his face forward but I was sure I saw the slightest blush creep on to his cheeks as he did. "Did he now?" He chuckled nervously. "Sounds like him. Not very subtle is he? Suppose that's his job though isn't, as a twin. A built in wingman."

I wa so surprised by his words I tripped over the vines of one of the waist high Pumpkins.

"Son of a Slytherin!" I swore as I tumbled head first toward a patch of them. Gideon swung his arm out and caught me before I smacked into them.

"Thanks, Gideon" I chuckled quietly, as I righted myself, wiping my hands on the front of my jeans to hide my embarrassment. "That vine came out of nowhere."

Gideon looked as though he was struggling with the desire not to laugh and I was grateful he seemed to overcome it.

"No problem," he said flashing me a wide smile, "You know I always thought you were overreacting about your luck with plants, but I'm starting to believe you now."

"Wish I was. Poor Professor Sprout. I know I make her life so much more difficult than it needs to be," I eyed the pumpkin's vine darkly and he chuckled again.

"Ever consider dropping Herbology?" He suggested, as we took the longer route around the patch instead of through it. Something I was sure was for my benefit.

I nodded enthusiastically. "Ever time I enter the greenhouse actually. But I need it to become an auror. And I'd rather lose an arm to Devil's Snare then give that dream up."

Gideon seemed to weigh this back and forth for a moment before giving a firm nod. "I can see you as an auror. You're good in Defense and a hell of a dueler. At least from what I heard about Elizabeth Burke's face." He sniggered quietly.

"You heard about that?" I asked sheepishly, covering my face to hide the trace of embarrassment.

He nodded, looking delighted. "Course I did. Otto Bagman heard James Potter tell half the Common Room about your detention. But don't be embarrassed. Everyone thought it was great. Sounded like she really deserved it too."

"She did," I said, thinking back on the memory with a smirk. My walk got a little more confident the longer I thought about Elizabeth's face covered in boils.

Gideon noticed and his grin stretched further. "Not to mention the way you always have Lestrange shaking in his boots."

I groaned loudly. "Uh, it's far too pretty a morning to ruin it with talks of Rabastan."

Gideon chuckled and looked relieved. "Glad we agree on that."

"What about you?" I asked, treading carefully on the downward sloping ground. 'Do you know what you want to do?"

Gideon didn't hesitate even for a minute. He just gave a firm nod. "Anything I can do with Magical Creatures," he said softly, looking delighted. "I'm not picky really, so long as their involved. Love animals my whole life. And ever since I got to Hogwarts Hagrid has helped me take care of some of the more interesting ones. It really helped me decide that's what I wanted to do."

"Hagrid great that way."

He nodded eagerly. "Hagrid's the absolute best. Fantastic man. Really. You know him well don't you?"

"Pretty well," I admitted. "Hagrid's amazing. He's really been there for me a lot. Especially since my parents well...you know."

Gideon didn't need the hint. He seemed to understand exactly what I meant and gave me a firm pat on the back that sent a fresh spike of nerves down my back.

I slowed down as we approached Hagrid's hut and headed for the door but Gideon didn't slow down. He kept walking purposefully past it, towards the forest. He stopped, looking highly amused when he noticed me lingering by the hut.

"I thought you were helping Hagrid with something?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

He chuckled, pulling his ginger hair back with a piece of string. "I am. In there." He nodded towards the direction of the Forbidden Forest.

My face fell. "In the forest?"

Now Gideon looked slightly concerned. "Have you ever been in there before?" He asked, looking more worried. "Dammit. I didn't think to ask before. I promise it's not as scary as it looks. If you're worried, we can take our wands out, but were not going in that far."

"I'm not worried." I shook my head and gathered some of my Gryffindor courage as I sauntered towards the forest and Gideon. "I've been in there before."

"Have you?" He asked, looking intrigued.

"Oh, I'm very well traveled, Prewett."

The story of my escapades last Halloween and my run in with the centaurs carried the two of us through the forest and seemed to delight Gideon, though he didn't seem to fond on the part where I almost ended with an arrow to the head.

"Centaurs can be a bit harsh," he said shaking his head. "They've got it tough. Not that that should excuse it, but the ministry never really gives them their fair due and it makes them bitter."

"Yeah I think I may have seen a bit of that side of them."

Gideon's quiet laughter echoed through the darkened tree's as we walked and a thick voice answered it.

" 'ideon' tha you?"

Hagrid's massive, hairy form stepped around a cluster of thick trees and bushes with a handful of feathers in one hand and a bright red scratch across his face.

"Hey Hagrid!" Gideon said brightly, approaching the half-giant happily. "Sorry I'm late, but I brought Doe. So I'm hoping that makes up for it. I didn't miss it, did I?"

Miss it? I scanned both of their faces for any hint of exactly what it was we were here to see but found nothing.

Hagrid waved Gideon off, offering him a big, toothy smile. "Didn't miss it. She's still

Uh waiting for it. Takes time ya know. Well I suppose you don't but it does. Good ter see ya Doe. Glad ya came. Yer gonna like this, come on."

Gideon grinned as Hagrid slung a large, cloaked arm over my shoulder and led the three of us around the bend of trees to a small clearing surrounded by tall dark bushes.

"Oh, wow!" I whispered as I took in the sight.

"Something ain't it? Made it just in time I'd say," Hagrid said approvingly as he and Gideon bent down to get started. I could hardly believe what I was seeing. I just stared in amazement.

A beautiful Hippogriff stood in the middle of the clearing, looking nervous as she stomped around and stole looks at the cluster of silvery blue eggs that lay in front of her. There were six of them gathered in a large, nest made of dark branches and each was about the size of a Dragon Egg, The one closest to her seemed to have several tiny cracks that were appearing at the top and the mother Hippogriff eyed it carefully.

"It's a Hippogriff hatching," Gideon explained from the ground, where he sat crouching with his wand over one of the eggs, casting a warm glow spell on it. "Cool right?"

"Amazing," I agreed as another crack appeared on the largest egg. "You were right. This is a once in a lifetime sight."

"I'd never lie to you," Gideon said with a wink, and moved on to cast a charm on the next egg while I watched in amazement.

Beside him, Hagrid was wiping each one of the eggs with a piece of felt and whispering to them lovingly. "Going to be a bunch of beautiful babies," he reasoned. "Hard to care for though. Always gotta be careful with the other creatures around. 'Specially before their born. Nifflers go for the eggs, you see."

"Because they're shiny?" I asked, crouching to get a better view of what Hagrid was doing.

"Exactly," Hagrid smiled, and beside him Gideon looked up slightly proud.

"She knows what she's talking about, huh?" Hagrid said pointing a large finger at me, happily.

Gideon grinned, as he looked at me. "She usually does."

Now, I was sure my cheeks were red and turned back to the Hippogriff to avoid them seeing.

The Hippogriff, whose feathers were such a soft grey they were almost white looked down at one of her eggs and gave a pained squak, that made both Hagrid and Gideon

Look up.

"Alrigh'. Alrigh'" Hagrid said, shaking his head at the beast and Gideon got up to approach her. He gave a quick bow, that she returned and then stroked her feathers calming her down a bit. I watched in complete silence, stunned and impressed.

"That's Fairfeather right?" I asked them both, remembering when Hagrid introduced me to her the year before.

"That's her all righ'" Hagrid said getting to his feet. "Beautiful beast but a temperamental thing, then again most of them are. She gets feisty see when the eggs start hatching. She's impatient."

As if answering his words, two of the eggs cracked loudly and claws started to pop out of the egg. Fairfeather immediately moved to them as two more did the same. Within a minute, three of the eggs had cracked open and baby Hippogriffs had burst from the shells, squawking loudly and scrambling to their feet.

The baby Hippogriffs were one of the most beautiful and adorable things I had ever laid eyes on. They looked like regular hippogriffs except for the fact that they were no larger than a house cat and their wings looked far too big for them. All six of the babies scrambled on their two long legs like foals and clicked their beaks at their mothers feet, as I watched and laughed. Most of them were a light grey like their mother, but one was so dark charcoal it looked almost black and the other was more of a blue-grey. Together, Hagrid and Gideon wrestled each of the babies away from Fairfeather one at a time and cleaned them while I sat cross-legged on the ground and watched, immensely glad I had followed Gideon out here. This was exactly what I needed to make today better. This wasn't something you could read about ina textbook. This was something you had to see. This was pure magic, and I was loving every minute of it.

"I think I'll name this one o' Buckbeak," Hagrid said, as the blue-grey Hippogriff, who seemed to have a particular love for him, nustled it's beak into his neck.

The babies were now all curled up against Fairfeather scrambling for her attention, and Hagrid and Gideon stepped back to watch them beside me.

"That is so beauiful," I whispered watching the sight of them. "I can't believe I got to see it."

"Innit though?" Hagrid asked, his voice turned sniffly as he wiped a fat tear fro his crinkled eyes. "Wha' a sight!"

Behind his massive coat, Gideon and I exchanged a quick smile, and he patted Hagrid comfortingly on the back. "Very cool," he told him

"You did a great job," Hagrid beamed proudly at the ginger man beside him. "Really great. I can always count on ya for yer help, no matter what. Good man, Gideon. Good man."

"Thanks Hagrid. I love doing it."

There was rustling of leaves behind us and the three of us turned to see a fine white Unicorn watching the baby Hippogriffs through the opening of the trees. It's corn was a beautiful silver that matched it's hooves.

"Ah don't worry. The Unicorns are 'armless" Hagrid' told me as I watched it carefully.

Gideon smiled and headed toward the creature, leaving Hagrid and I by the Hippogriffs.

"Hey there, Pretty," he whispered to it and opened his jacket pocket, pulling out an apple that he handed to the unicorn. It took it happily, eating it out of his hand as Gideon patted it's white mane. A strange sense of desire roared in my chest as I watched him do it. He was such a strong, tall man, it was almost strange seeing him bent over taking care of these beautiful creatures with such ease. It only made me like him more. I watched him pat the beast with a smile plastered across my face.

Hagrid looked slowly from Gideon to me and smiled. "He's good with dem unicorns," he boasted proudly, as if this was an obvious selling point. "They usually only take to females, but with Gideon it 'ont matter. They treat him as if he were a woman."

My smile widened and a giggle escaped my lips before I had time to stop it. Gideon blushed slightly and turned back to us.

"Hagrid, you're emasculating me in front of a pretty girl," Gideon sighed playfully, and I felt my chest fill with nerves once again as I realized what he was talking about. My cheeks flushed again.

Hagrid smiled, looking very specifically at me and then rummaged in his pockets quietly for a moment looking for something.

"Ah, I forgot my camera," he said, slightly dejected. "I wanna take some pictures of the new hippogriffs. Yer know while their still babies. You two mind waiting ter a bit for me to go an grab it?"

Gideon shook his head, patting the unicorn once and moving back towardsus. "Course not, Hagrid. I'm fine. You, Doe?"

I nodded eagerly. "I'm good. I want to watch the baby Hippogriffs a bit more anyway."

Hagrid beamed, clapped us both on the shoulder and stumbled out of the forest quickly after his camera. Now alone again, Gideon and I both stood quietly watching the Hippogriffs romp around the clearly, occasionally laughing when one of them stumbled or attempted to fly.

"This was so utterly amazing," I told Gideon, when the last Hippogriff curled up to sleep and Fairfeather sat watching, stoically. "Thank you so much for bringing me along."

Gideon shook his head. "You don't have to thank me. I'm really glad you came. It made it more fun."

"And I'm really glad you abandoned the plan to lock me in the greenhouse," I said happily. "This is so much better."

"Good thing I think on my feet," Gideon chuckled.

We were quiet for another minute, watching the sleeping Hippogriffs when a cold wind blew by us and made me shiver.

"You're cold" Gideon said, shrugging out of his jacket, and revealing a fitted tan sweater that hugged him perfectly. I did my best not to stare.

"No, I'm fine," I assured him as he rolled his eyes and placed the jacket over my shoulders anyway. It was heavier than I anticipated and the smell that was coming off it smelled exactly like him. I felt better the second it was on and gave a warm comfortable sigh.

"Better?" Gideon asked, looking slightly amused, and it made me smile.

I nodded gratefully. "Yeah, thanks, Gideon."

"I think it might look better on you than it does on me," Gideon noted, stepping back to get a better look. "Actually, it definitely does."

I felt a rush of heat flood through my chest again as my mind raged at his words. I tried desperately to remind myself that this was a good thing, and not to be too nervous. I tried to channel my inner Marlene as I took a deep breath.

"I doubt that," I said, looking up from beneath my lashes. "This jacket always looks good on you."

An emotion I'd never seen before crossed Gideon's face as he looked down at me. His expression was unreadable and my chest tightened nervously. Had I already messed up it? Merlin that was fast.

"Can I ask you something, Doe?" Gideon said quietly, looking more nervous than he had a minute before.

"Of course."

Gideon avoided my eyes for a second, and shuffled a pile of leaves at his feet. "So, what's with you and Sirius Black?" He asked quietly, his voice very relaxed.

I felt an immediate sense of relief as I looked back up at him and chuckled. "Oh no, not you too."

Gideon's eyes met mine, and he looked confused. "What?"

"I can't go a single day without someone asking me if Sirius and I are together," I told him honestly, "It's mad."

I shook my head in disbelief. It was crazy to me that after a year of friendship people still thought Sirius and I were hiding some sort of secret relationship. I knew it was strange that he had a female friend but this seemed to be out of hand. Even Gideon thought something was going on.

Gideon stopped shuffling the leaves and looked up at me quickly. Slightly more excited then before. "So you aren't together then?" He asked, clarifying.

I shook my head fiercely. "No. We're friends. Good friends, but nothing more than that. I promise you."

Gideon looked immediately relieved, a wide smile filling his face and making his cheeks blush. "That's really good," he said brightly.

And before he could say anything else, Hagrid came bounding back into the the woods clutching his camera.


End file.
